And Her White Cloak Faded
by Gothica13
Summary: Raven has changed a lot through the years, despite her upbringing and past, however Beast Boy wants not only her heart but her body as well. Can this virgin girl learn to live with herself if she brings a baby with Trigon's evil into this world? Lemons
1. Beginnings

OKAY, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, AND I HAVE WORKED ON THIS STORY FOR MANY MONTHS NOW. THE STORY'S FIRST TEN CHAPTERS HAS BEEN WRITTEN AHEAD OF TIME SO THAT I CAN FOCUS ON SCHOOL, AND ALSO SO YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR A CHAPTER IF I WOULD GET WRITERS BLOCK OR SOMETHING. I'M NOT _**VERY**_ DESCRIPTIVE IN TERMS OF SEX BECAUSE I AM JUST GOING BY WHAT I SEE IN MOVIES AND OTHER FANFIC'S. I HAVE ASPERGER'S, SO THIS IS A CHALLENGE FOR ME. THIS IS MORE ABOUT LOVE AND _THEN_ SEX, RATHER THEN SEX WITH LOVE.

*SUMMARY: RAVEN HAS CHANGED A LOT THROUGH THE YEARS, BUT SHE STILL HAS DAILY STRUGGLES DUE TO HER UPBRINGING. NOT ONLY HAS BEAST BOY (GARFIELD) TAKEN HER HEART, BUT HER BODY AND SOUL AS WELL. CAN THIS DEMONIC VIRGIN GIRL LEARN TO LIVE WITH HERSELF ONCE SHE HAS CROSSED A LINE SHE WAS NEVER MEANT TO CROSS?

"….having a kid changes everything." Robin said. After long debates with Starfire, the tall Tamaranean redhead who almost always agreed with Robin in whatever he would say; it was one of those times where she didn't think his opinion was the right one, and he paid heavily for disagreeing with her.

Thank goodness she was with Raven for now, in her bedroom, and away from him at the moment, while he sat in the living room, giving him time to calm down. However, he had discovered, after talking with his half robot friend on the other side of the couch that Cyborg was not on Robin's side as well.

"I'm not saying that what you're saying is wrong; it's just that I think as a friend you should support them." Correction, Cyborg wasn't on anyone's side; he simply played the peace maker.

"It's been eight long months, and I find out just now that you think what those two are doing isn't risky?" Robin asked, as he knew that he was getting himself worked up again over a stupid argument.

"Are you the one who's having a baby? Do you think Raven would be the first person in the world who would want this? Don't you think it was a hard decision for them to make and have considered everything that you have been saying for the last eight months?" Cyborg said in a somewhat aggressive manner. He was so sick and tired of Robin's complaining, and for the first time in eight months, he wanted to let Robin know.

Cyborg couldn't see Robin's eyes underneath his mask, but he knew what they looked like at that moment, angry and confused. "You know I'll support them." Robin said after a few moments of silence. "I just don't support this decision." They both just sat down and looked at a nearby clock that seemed like it was going slower than time itself.

Inside the dark depths of a purple painted room that had the odd combination of great literature and stuffed animals in it, there laid a pale, gray skin pregnant woman on the gigantic oval bed. Wearing a long, purple, muslin dress, in a scooped up neckline with a ribbon separating the bust from her expanding stomach, with hanging sleeves to show off her bare arms she sat there quietly.

Raven could feel the pain the contractions were making, but she didn't summit to them and cry out like a little girl. Even though she was sweating profusely and she looked physically weak, she tried to focus on her meditation.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos….." She chanted as she closed her eyes and breathed in and out after each sentence. This is not how she imagined herself to be when she was a teen, six years ago, but then again, she didn't imagine she ever end up with her 'fre-nemy', Beast Boy, and that turned out well.

Raven and Beast Boy were considered an on-again, off-again couple. It is not that they broke up over little things and created unnecessary drama, it would be off whenever Raven felt like she might hurt him from her powers if she lost control of her emotions; which sometimes did happen, but soon enough she would discover new ways to control her emotions while still maintaining their relationship.

Raven discovered it was the physical things that made her lose the most control, so for months after they dated for a year or so, Garfield, as she was allowed to call him, would only touch her shoulder or occasionally hug her. It wasn't until a year into their "on-again" relationship that Raven allowed Garfield to kiss her, and not just on her cheeks.

That was his reward for finishing the book _Pride and Prejudice_, and understanding Raven's comparison of their relationship with the books', except Raven was Mr. Darcy and Garfield was Elizabeth.

It took a while for her to open up to Garfield, and even though he would respect her wishes sometimes to be left alone, Garfield didn't have much patience. However, despite the taboo of dating co-workers', it was actually a benefit for Raven. Seeing him every day, whether she liked it or not, had helped Raven to better control her feelings for him so she didn't act out her emotions as much. She thought her feelings for Garfield would eventually go away and things would be normal, a few broken hearts here or there, but normal nonetheless.

She was wrong.

At some point during the next few months, she lost control over some aspect of her powers. It was during a time when Garfield went away to go on a special mission for his old team, the Doom Patrol.

At first it was a couple of cups that would explode anytime Rae would visit the kitchen, but then it grew into lights being melted, furniture being move into different rooms, and occasionally she would feel her rage creepy out. The other Titans didn't know what to do, other than asking her if her father was back.

She knew it wasn't her father, but nevertheless she added more hours to her meditation sessions. Then Garfield came back. She noticed that she was worried a lot during Garfield's absence and as soon as Garfield came back, she didn't worry so much. Since Raven had grown accustom to Garfield's presence, thereby making her feel safe, she now couldn't live without him. It was kind of ironic when she thought about it. The very person, she had thought, that would disrupt her emotions, was actually the one who could help her control them.

It was not long afterward that Garfield started to talk about marriage, and Raven would not object right _away_ to talk about that particular subject, but she always made some cutting remark about the grounds of marriage. It wasn't an important thing to her due to her dark past; however Garfield admired the gesture of uniting a couple in a ceremony.

It was years before Garfield gave Raven a sapphire ring with her replying "Yes," to his proposal. He was certainly the person she could trust enough to put her opinion aside and follow an old tradition linking couples together. After all, they wouldn't be the first Titans to be married.

Even though Raven had told Garfield everything about herself, she had left out one tiny detail that was not made known until their wedding night. She hinted about the tiny detail whenever she talked about her childhood, but Garfield couldn't take the hint. Covered in a ordinary Empire line style white dress, with oval sleeves resting on her shoulders, and had lavender flowers in her hair, Garfield had laid Raven down on her oval bed. At first it was innocent kissing as the two began to feel closer due to the occasion, but Raven stopped Garfield as soon as she could feel his hands inching toward her buttons to unhook them.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Garfield had asked moments later. He was getting undress from his purple tuxedo into his regular pajamas. Raven was still in her wedding dress, sitting on her bed, trying to find the words for her actions.

"I was raised by monks, you know that, and even though I want too…...with everything that we have been through…..I-I'm scared." One of Raven's pillows exploded as she admitted her fear. She looked cautiously at the spoiled feathers. "What happens if I set the tower on fire? In the heat of the moment, I could kill you."

"Rae, you can't be worried about that." Garfield said while putting his tuxedo in a stable box. "We talked about it. You said you can meditate. There's something else that's bothering you, what is it?"

"I-I-I'm one half demon. And a vir-virgin." Raven said.

"Well, so am I…..well kind of…."

"No, Garfield, I mean I grew up being told about the evils of sex. My own _mother_ was raped, and I am the product of her rape. While living with the monks, they told me about the dangers and evil sins of sex, like getting diseases and bringing in unwanted children into the world due to rape. They also told me that I could never ever have a child of my own, because that child would be one quarter of a demon, and I would continue the rapt of Trigon if I brought a child into this world. Part of my meditation is to wipe out thoughts of sexual pleasure. I was told to always be a virgin." Raven had said, slowly taking out the flowers in her hair as she looked in her medieval style mirror.

"But Trigon is gone. Besides weren't you the one who talked Starfire into having….."

"That was different. Starfire is an alien being with natural urges, Robin is a human being with natural urges, but I am a demon…"

"Half-demon, and a half _human_, with _human_ urges." Garfielf said as he sat next to her on the bed, caressing her shoulders while she looked at him in her mirror. "Look, I know what those monks were trying to do; they were trying to protect you from some sweet talking man who would try to get into your pants. But we're married, and I want to show how much I love you."

"I know, and one day I will, but not tonight." Raven said as she put the mirror face down on the table. She unbuttoned her dress and slipped on some baggy pajamas, all without looking back at him. "The wedding was overwhelming enough and I broke ten decorations with just our vows alone." She said. After she was done, she slowly walked onto her side of the bed and kissed Garfield as he looked disappointed. "One night, but not tonight."

"Damn monks." Garfield said as he went to bed next to his new bride whom he couldn't touch that night. She was also not ready the next night, nor the next month. It wasn't until one night three months after their wedding that Raven was ready and she notify Garfield that night.

"I'm surprised," Raven called through the bathroom door as she was getting ready, "that you would be a virgin as well."

"Well, I never had a chance to take things to the next level in my relationships and it just worked out for me that way. It wasn't from the lack of trying, I can ensure you." He said as he was already sitting under the covers getting prepared. He had been patiently waiting for this moment for so long that he just remembered that he was nervous just as much as she was. "But you can take as much time as you need." He added.

At that moment Raven walked out of the bathroom in her Empire line style white dress with the lavender flowers in her hair. She tried so hard to look like Elizabeth Bennet. She was not one to idolized characters, but she had admire Miss. Bennet and wanted to soak up her grace through the book.

"I wanted to pretend this was our wedding night." She explained looking rather shy, like the old Raven he had known the first time he met her. "I didn't want to postpone the wedding, due to my issues, nor did I want you to remember your wedding night as a wasted night. I know how much the concept of marriage is important to you, so….."

Garfield walked over to Raven, wearing nothing but his purple boxers, with his dark green chest hair sticking out. He gently kissed Raven while he unbuttoned her dress in the back. She could feel the power of his kiss was more intense than ever before.

At first she slowly backed up, because the intendancy had surprise her, but she stayed her ground after a while and started to become intense herself. When she realized that all the buttons were undone, she slowly allowed her dress to fall to her feet. Garfield took a moment to pick up Raven around his arms and laid her gently on the bed.

"I know you don't like looking at yourself in the mirror, but you are beautiful Raven." He said as he gazed over her body.

She certainly wasn't a zero size model, but her athletic curves added an appeal to Garfield, mostly because he knew how hard it was to obtain such abs. Her hips were wider than expected, only due to the fact that she always kept that damn cape around her body at all times. Her arms and legs were toned yet soft to the touch.

She had small breast in weight, but was large in terms of cup size. There was a pale imprint to show where her leotard was worn. She took a few deep breaths as Garfield hovered over her. Both of their hearts were pounding a little faster.

"You're not so bad looking yourself." She said as she continued to breathe deeply. Garfield had a nice six pack, but she didn't care about his abs. His arms were what really impressed her, those stringy long arms that seemed out of shape when you first touch them, but as soon as he turns into an animal, his arms is what carries the extra weight he obtains. And then she could feel how powerful they were after he transform back. His legs were just as strong and stringy as well, but they were covered in hair. "Do you have it on?"

"Yes. Have you been taking the pills?" Garfield asked.

"Yes." Raven said. "I'm ready." Garfield carefully got up and slid down her underpants as she lay motionless on the bed. He carefully slid down his boxers. He crawled back into bed as he pulled the covers over them and hovered over Raven. She closed her eyes as he gently kissed her soft neck. She exhaled heavily. "Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarath…"

As Raven was continuing her chant, Garfield hovered closer to her. "Just keep thinking about your center, Rae. Just imagine you're the only one in the world by the ocean. There are stars in the sky and a bright yellow moon." He whispered.

"Azarath, metrion, z-INTH-os." Raven said as Garfield lowered himself inside her. Raven hugged tightly around Garfield's body. She stopped her chanting for a second, biting her lip to prevent her from screaming out in pain. "…Aza-azarath, metrion, zinthos." Raven started to chant.

"I'm sorry Raven; I have heard that it will hurt at first. I-I myself feel a little sting. Are you okay?" Garfield asked as he slowly lowered himself. She nodded her head, but she couldn't hide the look of pain on her face.

"Azara-TH, men-TRION, ZI-nthos." Raven gasped as she was trying so hard to concentrate on her meditation. Garfield began slowly thrusting up towards her face. He gently kissed her neck.

"It's okay, it's okay….remember your center." Garfield whispered in Raven's ear. He thrust his body slowly downward towards her chest. The pain began to get to her.

"Azar-ATH—the monks were right, the monks were right! Sex is nothing, but evil! Men take and take, while women suffer!" Raven screamed out. One of the oil paintings on the wall exploded into millions of pieces.

"Raven, please concentrate! I promise the pain will almost be over!" Garfield cried out. He began to move slightly towards her face again, and then back down to her chest. Raven continued on with her chant, and held Garfield's back tighter to her.

Garfield started to move up and then slowly moved back down to Raven. Garfield wrapped his hands around Raven's head as he started to gain some speed. She chanted a little faster as she could feel Garfield gain speed.

"AZ-ar-ATH, M-entrion, ZIN-thos. Az-ARA-th, me-ENTRION, zin-THOS." She chanted. They both could hear loud thuds around the Tower, Raven was starting to lose her concentration, and she was taking it out on the living room.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos. Azarath, mentrion, zinthos..." Garfield started to chant along with Raven as he could feel the climax get closer. He closed his eyes, and just allowed his body to take control. His ritual began to get faster and faster, to the point that they both began to sweat from the constant exercise between them. "Azarath…..come on Raven, just a little longer…..mentrion, zinthos."

Raven's pain started to fade away, and it became more and more pleasant as he kept going. However, she knew she couldn't stop her chanting and enjoy it, or Garfield could melt right in front of her. She tried desperately to concentrate on her breathing and controlling her emotions, but Garfield's movement was breaking that concentration. She held onto the bed sheets, as if she felt she might start fly away from this point.

Garfield abs started to drip little beads of sweat on her already wet body. Even though it was his first time as well, he had seen his parents and the natives in Africa do it before, watching them secretly to see what on earth they were doing. He sometimes was close to taking things to the next level when it came to his relationships. However, that all changed with Raven, and he was forced to take things _extremely_ slow. Although he realized that taking things slow was better, because the payoff was much more satisfying in the end with all his anticipation.

He didn't seek advice from Robin or Cyborg when it came to this point, because he didn't want to embarrass Raven. For all the team knew, they had already consummated their marriage, possibly several times. All of a sudden, the pain went away altogether, and became a pleasurable sensitive touch that filled both Raven's and Garfield's body with endorphins.

"Azarath, m-ENTRIO-n, ZI-thos…..oh, Raven I love you so much…damn your father…. I hope he rots in Hell…" Garfield mumbled as he could feel the high point of their exercise.

As he finished his statement, Raven screamed some nonsense words as they both gasped for air. Garfield looked down at his bride, and rolled over onto the bed to lay beside her as she was still gasping for air. The room's temperature became higher. He embraced Raven's body as she slowly opened her eyes and looked over to him.

Her skin color became a more magenta color while his green skin became a lighter green. They didn't say anything; they just looked at each other. Raven didn't want to rock her emotions anymore, so she just closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Garfield understood the message and just held her tighter as he fell asleep as well.

The next morning, Garfield had woken up to an empty bed. Raven was already dressed and looking out from the window.

"I think I developed a new emotion last night, or at least released it from hiding." Raven said. "I'm going to spend the whole day meditating. So, make sure nobody bothers me, unless it is an emergency."

Garfield got up and started to get dressed. "Raven…..did you, did you enjoy it?" He asked.

"I must say, it wasn't as unpleasant as I made it out to be with my screaming. But, the things that I was feeling shocked me, and sworn I almost saw a vision of Hell circling around the room. These things scared me, and Timid came out." Raven said as she looked over her shoulder. "I was a little embarrassed by the things I said. I know sex is not evil. It is the act of repopulating a species; a ritual that is supposed to feel pleasant, so that Nature can encourage people to keep the population up."

"But did you enjoy it?" Garfield asked as he went over by her side. "Did I….please you?" He said, trying to find the appropriate words to say. He didn't have the wide range of vocabulary as Raven did.

"It was a new feeling. I have not determined if it was good." She said. Garfield smiled.

"You did like it, or you would have said you didn't." He said. Raven didn't say anything; she turned her gaze towards the window again. "I'll let them know you want to be left alone."

Garfield had walked out to the living room and found the furniture all turned over with glasses from the kitchen all broken. Luckily the television wasn't shattered. Unluckily, Robin was already up and about, rearranging the furniture.

"Beast Boy, what happen?" Robin asked, as he saw Garfield standing by the door with a guilty expression. "I reviewed the tapes. A ball of black energy filled up the room and this is the results."

"Um…" Garfield said. Robin knew something happened last night with Raven, but didn't know what. Robin was protected about Raven, a little too protected, even though he was in love and married to Starfire. He always had said that Raven was the sister he never had due to the fact that he rescued her when her father took over. "Don't worry about it. It is being taken care of. Raven is spending the day meditating."

"What happened?" Robin demanded. "I want an answer." He wanted his teammates to tell him everything, despite the fact that they all were having their own life.

"Raven is my wife, Robin. She had an accident; she is taking care of it by meditating." Garfield angrily said. "Don't you think I can take care of my wife?" He felt offended, as if Raven had gotten into trouble, and he wasn't doing his duty and protecting her. Even though this kind of thinking was a little outdated, because Garfield would be the damsel in distressed, he thought he should protect his manhood in front of Robin at least.

"Well, is this something that's going to happen again?" Robin asked. It almost seemed as if Robin was accusing him of something.

"If there's a God." Garfield whispered to himself. "Robin, what do you take me for? Do you think I beat her up? Do you think I have the _power_ to beat her up? Do you think her father is back and I wouldn't tell you guys? Some things' are just between couples." He said to Robin.

"Look, I respect your guys' privacy, but if Raven is a little unstable then I have to always assume the wors—"

"Robin," Garfield interrupted. He was going to go for it, he was going to brag. "What did you do for your wedding night?" he asked condescendingly. Robin was confused at first, but then gradually understood what Garfield met and he blushed.

"But, this is the first time such a mess was created in any room." Robin said. Garfield tried his hardest to not look straight into Robin's eyes, well at least his mask. He had promised himself not to embarrass Raven, and he did. "Are you guys having problems? Has…..has this been the first time, period?"

"I didn't want to say anything, because it would embarrass Raven. But you kept pestering, like you always do. And if you value your health, I suggest you help me clean up this mess up and never mentioned this again." Garfield said. What the hell, he might as well tell Robin what's what, just to make Robin feel stupid for meddling in their affairs. "Unless of course, she'd liked it, and would allow for another try. Then I supposed there will be many messes I would need to clean up in the future."

Robin said nothing else and allowed Garfield to help him clean up the living room before the others came in hours later. Robin had thought maybe Garfield had abused Raven in some way, and would ask her about it later in case he didn't buy Garfield's story. However, the next day Raven simply had a positive energy around her, and Robin knew that he had learned too much about their relationship.

I PUT ANOTHER CHAPTER UP IN ABOUT A WEEK OR SO, THERE'S AT LEAST A FEW MORE SEX SCENES IN THE UPCOMING CHAPTERS.


	2. The Awoken Spirit

THANK YOU FOR GIVING MY STORY A CHANCE, IT FEELS NICE WHEN YOU WORK HARD AND YOU'RE SO NERVOUS IF OTHER'S WILL LIKE IT OR NOT, BUT PEOPLE LEAVE POSITIVE MESSAGES AND ADVISE.

I KNOW THIS PART OF THE STORY IS CHEESY, BUT I HAVE TO INTRODUCE RAVEN'S NEW EMOTION.

That night Raven went to her mirror to see what new emotion she had created. She already had suspicion which emotion it was. She entered her virtual world, which adjusted rocks for a pathway for her to walk down.

"Happiness? Love? Where is she?" Raven yelled out as she made her way down towards Happiness's world. Her world dramatically changed to a pink sky, a strawberry scented outdoor scene with hills and flowers as far as the eye could see. A duplicate of Raven whose only difference was a pink leotard, suddenly appeared.

"Raven! Girl, so nice of you to visit!" Happiness shrieked. "Want to talk about the other night! That was so much fun!"

"Happiness, where is she?" Raven asked without her expression changing. She was used to her crazy Emotions greetings.

"Oh! You want to meet Lust? Well, sure! Lust!" Happiness called out. A black ball of energy appeared in front of them. Out popped another duplicate form of Raven, who was wearing a black leotard. She had replaced Raven's normal boots to high heels with her toes showing.

"Well, that's appropriate." Raven said in her monotone voice. "You look like Batman."

"And wasn't Batman popular with the girls?" Lust said as she slyly put her hood down. "So you finally created me? About time, you seriously needed to be laid."

"Again, how appropriate." Raven said. "The first time I ever had a sensual thought in my head and Miss. Sensitive gets created, as well as criticizes me on how I lived my life."

"I know why _you're_ here. You ask why am _I_ here? How can _I_ go away?" Lust said in a jokingly manner. "I'll tell you something, I'm not leaving. You know too well that once an Emotion gets created, it doesn't go away. Ever."

"I know." Raven said calmingly as Lust circled around her, as if to tease her about her lack of being sexual. "But I want to know how I can control you. Or maybe you don't want to be controlled."

"Oh, I _do_ want to be controlled, but the question is _will_ you control me?" Lust said.

"What? What is it? Will you tell me?" Raven asked suspiciously.

"Yes, I will." Lust said. "Unlike your other Emotions, I'm a new Emotion that can't be contained, because unlike Happiness or Rage, you need to fulfill the action of this emotion to control it."

"That doesn't make any sense." Raven said. "Every Emotion I have has to be contained or my powers will be unstable. If I feel Happiness, my powers will go off."

"Well, that's true." Lust said playing with Raven's hair. "However, having lust is the desire to act out sensually. The more you bottled me up, the harder it will be to contain."

"That's bullshit. You're just making this up to be released." Raven said.

"Actually, she's right." Almost as if on cue, an energy ball containing another copy of Raven popped out in front of them. She wore a yellow cloak and oval glasses. It was Wisdom, sometimes known as Intelligence by the other Emotions. "Remember when Love and Happiness took over you when you were with Garfield at first. It was chaos, but then you slowly learned how to control them. Then when Garfield went away, Love and Happiness were confused about the new situation, and Timid took over, which made you cause more chaos."

"Yes, so?" Raven asked. Wisdom was one of the few Emotions Raven could have a logical conversation with.

"Well, Lust is a new Emotion that is on the same level as Love and Happiness. Lust is by definition an uncontrollable urge to engage in sensual activity. You married your little Beast Boy with Love and Happiness, and with it came Lust. You can control Love and Happiness because you are used to it by now." Wisdom said. "Naturally, Garfield wanted more from you then your usual limit, so this is new to you. You must learn, you must engage with Garfield in order to control this new Emotion."

"But what if he didn't like us?" All of a sudden Timid appeared out of nowhere, as if she had quietly came into picture without saying anything until now. She kept her gray hood up. "I mean we weren't exactly a pleasant company he had the other night. We cried out that sex was evil. How could he possibly want to do _that_ again?"

"Don't exaggerate, he married us, I don't think he's going to leave." Wisdom said, she looked over to Timid. "Also, that wasn't 'us', that was _you_ who cried out. _I'm_ the one who had to tell Garfield afterwards 'we' didn't mean it."

"I'm sorry, I was scared." Timid said. "I didn't mean to offend—"

"It is okay, Timid." Raven said. That was all Timid needed, was reassurance from their boss, because they were all just soldiers. Raven turn towards Wisdom. "I will try it again, Wisdom, but if you are wrong, I will be forced never to do _it_ again." And with that Raven vanished as she surrounded herself in a ball of energy.

* * *

Weeks went by, before Raven once again had another night with Garfield. It was a quiet evening when they decided to go to bed early. It was a long day with training in the morning, and a battle with Mad Mod in the afternoon. He had escaped from jail and was planning to flood the city with bags of tea.

_Wow, that is not a stereotype_, Raven had thought to herself.

While all the Titans were busy trying to distract Mad Mod so they wouldn't be hypnotize, Garfield wanted to right away jump forward in his tiger form and attack Mad Mod. Stupid decision, but God he looked magnificent charging over to Mad Mod in his tiger form. With his throbbing body moving towards Mad Mod, Lust was slowly creeping out of Raven.

_Knock it off,_ Raven had thought, _Can't you stop thinking about something sexual every five seconds?_

_Well, that is the point of my existence,_ Lust had answered back. Now Raven couldn't get her mind off of his tiger form the whole day.

* * *

Garfield was already wrapped up in his side of the bed, with the dark blue covers over his face with only one ear sticking out. Raven edged herself, still in her blue pajamas, holding onto Garfield's body.

"What is it Rae?" Garfield asked worryingly, getting up from the covers because she would only bother him if something were bothering her. Raven looked into Garfield's eye's saying nothing. "Rae?" The passion in her body could not take it anymore, Lust was coming out, and she had to release her this way or something more dangerous might happen.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos….." Raven said as she gently lunged forward and kissed his soft lips. Garfield didn't waste any time adjusting to Raven's sudden mood shift, and he happily responded back to her kiss by aggressively taking over the position and charging his tongue further down her throat. He then took her by her hips and forced her down to lie her back on the bed.

He quickly went into the bathroom to take care of some business first, but came out with the look that he had when he was in his tiger form. Aggressive, dangerous to play with, and full of intoxicating energy. Even though Raven had started it, he was going to end it. He climbed back into the bed with Raven lying there still and with him grabbing her buttons from the front of her pajamas so he could unbutton them. Each time he unhooked one of the buttons, Lust was getting more powerful, and Raven let off a gasp. Finally, he gently stripped her of her oversized gown that she called pajamas.

Once he threw the pile of fabric out of the way, he sat up on the bed, just stared at the creature behind the clothes. Staring back at him with wide eyes, Raven sat up, and then held a grip on his shoulders. Garfield passionately kissed her neck.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…." Raven whispered in his ear. Raven took a grasped of Garfield's boxers and removed them while he did the same to her. She went back to lying down, leading Garfield to her. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos. Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…"

Garfield was hoping she would come around soon, but didn't expect this soon. It took about two months before Raven allowed him to kiss her again the first time they kissed, so naturally he expected to wait longer. But nonetheless he did a little homework to see if he could pull a trick out or two, even though he didn't want to do anything to surprise her. She was like a deer in the wilderness, he could look all he wanted and even try to pet her, but one wrong move and she would run away.

He slowly lowered himself until his head was resting on her shoulder. This time she expected what to happened, but it was still a little painful when he entered. She let out a gasped and then went back to her chant. This time Garfield started a little more aggressively than before. Gripping her by her shoulders and neck, he moved upwards toward the top of her hair. Then he forcefully went back down to the top of her chest.

Each move he made had an effect on Raven's Lust. Slowly and slowly, Lust was getting stronger, but oddly Raven still felt like she was still in control. The more he moved, the more Raven could feel her emotion Lust being fed, and this was unsettling for Raven to learn. She could possibly destroy the world if she had sex, she could possibly destroy the world if she didn't have sex, and it was a conundrum Raven didn't want to figure out at the moment.

"Azarath, MENTR-ion, zin-THOS….." She continued to chant. Her eyes started to go to the back of her head, from the ongoing exercise Garfield was conducting on her. His ritual once again caught some speed, but they were far from the climax they were expecting. It was more of the pleasure of the journey to the climax this time, then the climax being the big payoff.

It could be that Lust was enjoying this more for herself, but Lust was only an Emotion of Raven, and Raven was the one who officially allowed her emotions to come out. It wasn't Lust's fault that she was created, Raven had felt lust for the first time in her life, and now she was a slave to Lust's demand, that is, she was a slave to her own desirable emotion. But she was chanting, which kept herself in control.

Garfield on the other hand made noises that could have been heard all through the Tower if anyone was still up at this hour. His skin glisten with small beads of sweat as he alternate from kissing her neck, grabbing her hair, and holding her hand as tight as he could. He would at times bang on the back of the bed banister as he could feel climax getting closer. Raven ignored the noise and his constant changing of positions; she just focused on her breathing and her chanting.

Raven suddenly sat up to feel more of Garfield's skin as she could feel that climax coming, as Garfield move away a little bit to allow Raven some room. They both embraced each other. She wrapped her legs around him to get in a more comfortable position.

Even though Raven had just adjusted herself to lift up a bit, she felt like Garfield's equal. Not better than him, or worst off, just equal.

At times, their relationship looked to others as though Raven was the alpha-female, but really when it came to the sensual acts, Garfield would take over that position. Now she felt that they were both equally contributing to their passion.

Her soft breasts were caressing his sweating chest, as he began to pick up some speed.

As her words became slower and slower to speak, her head lifted up to the ceiling, keeping her eyes closed. Her hair was no longer smooth or silky, but became rather frizzy and curled towards her face. Garfield's stomach was now touching hers, causing them to create more sweat. His hair was greasier rather than frizzy.

He was still doing the usual routine, even though they had changed positions, but it was more of challenge this way for him to keep up, and he liked the challenge. As he grasped Raven's head, he could feel a sensation, sensitive feeling.

"Azara-TH…MEN-tri-ON…..ZI—oh Beast Boy! Beast Boy!..." She screamed. She didn't know where the inclination was to scream his old name out loud, but due to the situation, he was acting like a beast. It was moment of breaking her concentration, and she felt the power coming out.

She was expecting all the lights in the Tower to shut down, the kitchen catching on fire, or at the very least more of the furniture moving around in the night. But none of that happened. Except only for all the drawers in Tower opened up, as if paranormal activity being unleashed. Her Lust had been fed, and she embraced Garfield as they both finished and just tried gasping for air. They briefing broke their embrace just to get comfortable in bed, and he put his arms around Raven, who was facing him, as they quieting went to sleep.

* * *

The next day, Raven was once again the first up and dressed, but this time she was already meditating and figured Garfield would understand her message. Garfield got dressed in his team uniform and made his way down to the living room that was adjacent to the kitchen. Once he got there, he could see all the drawers imaginable in the living and kitchen room opened up wide. This time Starfire and Robin were both up, with both of them eating breakfast in silence.

"Beast Boy, good morning! Do you know who opened up all the drawers? I tried closing some of them, but they seem to be stuck." Starfire asked. "Robin checked the computers, but was undetermined to name the cause." Robin sank lowered into his chair.

"Oh, it was a minor accident, but Raven is meditating. She's fine." Garfield said as he eyed to Robin, who's faced turned red. "What's for breakfast?"

"Is friend Raven okay?" Starfire asked with concern. "I heard strange noises last night, but couldn't find the source. Was it by any chance Raven?"

"I told you she's fine, it was just an accident." He said.

"Star, he feels protected if his 'manhood' is challenged." Robin interrupted, it was enough that Robin knew, but he for one never spilled details about his and Starfire's affair's, so in turn he thought he shouldn't spill the details of Raven and Garfield's. Besides, Garfield could turn into a fly and look at them in private for revenge if Robin allowed their information from being leaked out. "Raven is his wife; if he says everything is okay then everything is okay."

"Still, we should go check on her. You never know what is going with her, and maybe we could help." Starfire said.

"Believe me; I have helped her a lot." Garfield said jokingly. Robin's face turned a much deeper red. "She's meditating, I'm warning you, she will not be happy if you disturb her."

As Garfield was settling in to eat breakfast, Cyborg had come strolling in with a tired look on his face, until he saw Garfield.

"Mornin' Robin, Starfire!" Cyborg yelled across the room. He came down to the kitchen and took a sit next to Garfield. "Mornin', B.B." Cyborg said condescendingly as he lifted up one of his eyebrows. "Where's Raven?"

"She's meditating, doesn't liked to be disturbed." Garfield said without questioning Cyborg's cockiness. Everyone except Starfire didn't seemed to say much during their breakfast, Robin was avoiding at looking at anyone, Cyborg kept looking at Garfield, and Garfield was pretending to listen to Starfire as not to make the meal feel more awkward then it already was. At some point Starfire had to excuse herself to start her training session.

"So Cy, what is your deal?" Garfield asked. Cyborg eyed Robin. "Robin probably already knows what you're going to talk about."

"I don't think Robin knows what I know." Cyborg said.

"Have you noticed something strange here?" Garfield said pointing to drawers being opened. "Robin has a computer; he can see who opened the drawers. Nobody opened the drawers." For a minute Cyborg didn't trust what Garfield was saying, but he was already willing to spread gossip, so at the point he didn't care if Robin didn't know.

"All I just wanted to say was bravo." Cyborg said in a sly way.

"Oh, geeze." Robin exclaimed as he was standing by the counter doing the dishes, he was going to hear this conversation whether he liked too or not.

"And why do you say 'bravo'?" Garfield asked.

"Hey, you guys went to bed early that night. I was still up. I was making my way to my room, which happens to pass you and Raven's bedroom. My sensor ear had heard something and well…I got to say man, I figured you guys having sex, but man that sounded kinky in there. Did you guys do something special?" Cyborg explained. "The few times I have had sex, wasn't anywhere near kinky as that sounded."

"….." Garfield didn't know what to say. He was eyeing the exit, and wanted to escape. "Uh…it's just plain old sex…..nothing special…well, not as special as you think….." Cyborg didn't believe Garfield. He couldn't have believed him, not the things he heard last night.

"Come on, you even said it yourself, Raven created this," Cyborg said pointing to all the opening cabinet doors. "You must of have done something special. What's your secret?"

Robin was trying to finish the dishes quickly because he didn't want to hear this conversation, nonetheless, a conversation with him involved. It seemed like forever when Robin finally finished the dishes and hurried off to training, now it was just Cyborg and Garfield. If Cyborg kept bugging Garfield, Robin would try to stop it, but at the present moment he wanted to get out of that room. Cyborg kept hassling Garfield over the same topic, even when Garfield decided to drop it.

"Why won't you confide in me?" Cyborg asked. "I would tell all the juicy details of my dates."

"Because it's personal," Garfield said. "And sometimes I don't even want to know about your dates."

"But it's just sex." Cyborg insisted.

"That's right; it's just sex, nothing else." Garfield said. "Beside's you should focused on you. Find a nice girl, settle down. You're such a ladies' man. Then you wouldn't have to ask me. I mean you're only asking me because Robin gives you the death eye when you ask him."

"Why should I buy the cow, when I can have the milk for free?" Cyborg asked.

"Because the cow feels like she is being used." A monotone voice said from across the room. They didn't hear the door open up, when in came the glowing pale empathy herself. Raven had not listened to their whole conversation, but had got the gist of it when she walked in.

Both Cyborg and Garfield couldn't say anything, and were stunned to even still be breathing. Raven casually walked over to the kitchen, made herself a cup of tea, and walked past the two boys. Before Raven walked out into the hallway, she said, "Remember Cyborg, Beast Boy can turn into a fly and sneak into your room; but I can do far worse when it comes to damaging you." And with that Raven was out of sight.

"Okay, _now _I believe you." Cyborg said, still in shock.

"How come?" Garfield asked curiously.

"Because I believe she wouldn't let you do _anything_ that she didn't want. I have done some kinky stuff in my day, and it took a long time to talk the girls into it. But Raven is not one of those girls." Cyborg said. From that day on, Cyborg did not bring up the topic again, for fear of being overheard. At one point, all the drawers were able to close.

THIS IS MORE OF AN EXERCISE FOR MY ASPERGER'S THEN ANYTHING ELSE, SO IF I DON'T DESCRIBE TOO MUCH IN A SEX SCENE, IT'S BECAUSE I AM JUST GOING BY WHAT I SEE IN MOVIES OR READ IN OTHER FANFICS. I CAN TRY TO DESCRIBE MORE IF IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

I GET TOO UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT THE SUBJECT OF SEX, EVEN FOR MY AGE, SO I THOUGHT IF I THINK ABOUT A COUPLE WHO I LIKE TO HAVE SEX, THEN I WOULDN'T BE SO FRAGILE WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT AT ANY TIMES. SO, I GUESS SAME DAY NEXT WEEK?


	3. And Her White Cloak Quickly Faded

ALRIGHT, THERE'S A BIT OF TERRA BASHING UP AHEAD, BUT IT'S THERE FOR A REASON IN, JUST A WARNING IN CASE YOU LIKE HER. GET'S KIND OF 'CONTROVERSAL', BUT AGAIN IT'S THERE FOR A REASON.

Raven's lust had been fed for a while, and there wasn't any need to release it from unnecessary sex. Sex was now a meditation form for Raven, but she could only perform it when Lust literally took over her, much like how Rage could take over her if she was angry enough. Lust would come and go, and only through her body could Raven control her.

Sometimes Lust would come twice a week, sometimes once a month. Either way, whether it was better or worse than the second time, it was still special to Garfield each time.

Also, occasionally, to let Garfield know that her lust was coming on, or that she was thanking him for the night before, she would start calling him Beast Boy again. Only Garfield noticed his name changed from her, it was an acknowledgement to make his team name sound dirty; much like doctor wives would call their husband's 'doctor' whenever they were in the mood.

Raven had done some additional study among the books the Monks had given her. She wanted to pinpoint the passages she was taught as a little kid about sex and try to find a loophole that would not cause her powers to go crazy and be uncontrollable. Lust was something that she could control through the act, but what about Happiness? Timid? Love a.k.a Affection? And most importantly of all, Rage?

There were times when she could not stop feeling happy, making her release energy into the Tower causing mayhem. Sometimes she would be scared and unsure of herself, causing her to bring damage to the Titans rooms. Whatever she felt, she wanted to fix. It was only a matter of time before she would feel Rage during. Thank God it didn't happen, yet.

However, she knew that one day someone would say something wrong to her, while she would be feeling Lust as the same time; it was only a matter of days before she would feel Rage and Lust at the same time.

Nevertheless, she took extreme caution each day and night when she felt the driven sensation of Lust coming. That way Rage wouldn't come out.

But it did.

It had been around a year, and it was nothing serious, but it became worse as Raven kept seeing _her_. The first time, Raven was in a battle when she swore she saw a blond hair girl, with bright blue eyes that looked straight at her, as if _she_ knew something about her.

But it passed.

A couple of times when she was watching T.V., the girls with blond hair and blue eyes, would be looking straight into the camera lens, as if looking into her soul.

But it passed.

Then, she began to get paranoid when Garfield would sometimes talk to the local girls who had blond hair and blue eyes. She wasn't the jealous type, but something about _him_ talking to or acknowledging girls with blond hair and blue eyes drove her to the edge. Why couldn't he talk to a brunette with green eyes? Or at least a blond hair with brown eyes? Or even a redhead with blue eyes?

They decided early on in their relationship not to talk about their bad relationships. Garfield wouldn't bring up Malchior, and Raven wouldn't bring up Terra. But nobody looked like Malchior, well nobody that wasn't in a comic book convention. However, any blond hair, blue eyes girls looked like Terra.

Even when Raven wasn't trying to look for a blond hair and blue eyes girl, a girl with that description would show up, and it would bring back bad memories. Even though she had said that she forgave Terra, she still was not one to forget anytime soon. She was dead certain there was something wrong with Terra, and there was, but Raven tried to give Terra the benefit of the doubt. But Terra wronged her.

And that just pissed her off.

She tried to forget about all those stupid blond girls, because Garfield had started to turn into his tiger form again whenever they were in battle. Something about him turning into that giant, green and black strip cat, with his teeth bigger than his paw just made Raven blush. Anytime he turned into his tiger, her Lust would start to unravel. Maybe he knew what he was doing; maybe he didn't and just liked to turn into his tiger form in battles.

* * *

"Beast Boy," Raven said to him, one night after they all had stopped a bank robbery battle by Control Freak. They were in the living room with the other Titans, watching some stupid movie Robin picked out. During the battle at one point, Garfield turned into a tiger, and even though Raven was still able to finished the battle with her team, her Lust was overloading her. "Don't eat too much popcorn; we should probably go to bed early tonight."

"Go to bed early? But…" Garfield said to her, taking his eyes off the screen for a second to look at her, but once he saw those violet eyes widen, he knew what she had just implied. "Okay, but let's wait until that one chick gets killed first."

Raven was sitting on the couch comfortably in the middle, while Garfield was on the floor next to her. Robin and Starfire were on the edge of one side of the couch, with Starfire getting closer to Robin as she was getting scared. Cyborg was out on a date tonight with Jinx, they were back together, for the fifth time.

She sat there quietly, waiting for 'the chick to get killed'. However, the movie revealed the killer to have long flowing blond hair. The camera didn't show the killer's face or body, and it wasn't even clear if it was a female or a male, but that was enough. Before she knew it, 'the chick' was killed, and Garfield was escorting Raven to their room.

* * *

She didn't want to stop, because her Lust was overwhelming her, but she was angry. God damn it, Terra was long gone in some form of private school, maybe even in college by now, and yet Raven just was angry at her. Maybe it was because Terra could find a way to control _her_ powers. And Raven was jealous of that.

All her life, Raven had tried to find other ways to control her powers, one that would involve her being able to show more emotions in real life, but couldn't.

And Terra could.

It wasn't fair, if _anyone_ should have the power to control their powers, it should be Raven. Not long while Raven was pondering as to _why_ she was angry, had Garfield descended underneath the covers, towering over her to her already nude body. It was too late to put the brakes on tonight's exercise. Lust was becoming too powerful to stop. However, she was still angry.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…" Raven chanted as she allowed Garfield to come closer to her body. She closed her eyes as his stomach was resting upon hers. She held onto his back as he had thrust up and down. He would occasionally kiss her neck, but was just focusing on his exercise for the moment.

It was short while, before Raven thought that Garfield wasn't giving his all. It seemed like he was in such hurry, that she couldn't enjoy any of it, and this annoyed her Lust.

For the first time, Raven broke her chant. "Beast Boy?"

"Huh?...Rae….shouldn't…..you…be…chanting…..?" Garfield said as he once again thrust back down.

"Can't….you…..go SL-ower…you-R…..in….such….a….hu-RRY…..?" She exclaimed as he seem to speed up unexpectedly.

Garfield didn't know what to say, how could he? She was breaking her trance and could at any moment hurt him. He complied with her demands and went back to a slow pace. Raven started to enjoy herself, and savored the moment. This was a time unleashing her Lust, and she had to do it the right way or else.

"Rae….YO-u should…..start your….chant aga-IN….." He said.

_That's it_. She thought. She became angry.

Even though it was a simply enough request to help control her powers, it reminded her that she needed to constantly keep her powers in check while Terra could dance around at school. Raven couldn't even keep Garfield without her relying on her stupid chants to keep their relationship safe.

Raven's two eyes became four as they glowed in a bright crimson red color. She flipped over Garfield on his back, as she quickly positioned herself on top of him.

"Don't tell me what to do," Rage said. It wasn't Raven anymore, she was lost now, as Rage's deep, demonic voice told Garfield. "Maybe with _Terra_ you could be more forgiving because _she_ can control her powers, but _I'll_ do what I please!"

With that, Rage went inside Garfield, as he looked fearful at what was happening. Rage took over Garfield's role as someone on top. She took over his routine as he had done before she interrupted him, but Garfield was scared about what was happening. He just lied still and didn't attempt to respond, for fear of what Rage might do to him.

Where was his wife? What happened to her? Why did she mention Terra?

Rage didn't give mercy to Garfield; Garfield himself could be rough at sometimes, but it was with a woman he loved, and she wanted more each time they were together. Rage, however, was being cruel on purpose for her gain only. He couldn't ever believe that the woman could harm the guy, but Raven never had been on top before. The room became a black ball of energy with all their items floating around.

"Raven…..FOC-us…!" He said as Rage was thrusting deeper into him, with her movements becoming violent.

He thought about turning into a small or large animal to escape, but due to the fact he was physically in her, he couldn't morph and then escape without damaging his body. At first she didn't seem to harm him, but soon, his legs began to cramp, his stomach started to give him pains, and she began to gain some speed. It was as if her body was on fire, and it burned Garfield to feel her. He began to have nausea as soon as she sped up. But anytime he would try to get up, she would force him down back on the bed. He vomit a little to his side, as he lay there quietly, allowing her to finish up.

Finally, at one point Rage was satisfied, with her body covered in sweat. At that moment, Raven turned back to normal and realized what had happened. The room fell silent as the black energy stopped twirling the items around. She covered herself in blankets and ran over to the door as she slid down on its frame.

"Beast Boy….I'm sorry, I didn't mean to break my concentration….." She began to say. She didn't know what to say other then she was sorry. She was embarrassed, she was shamed, she had just somewhat raped her husband and all she could think to do was to say she was sorry.

"Raven, what happened?...Have you been…..thinking of Terra?" He asked with concern. Both of them were breathing heavily. He moved closer to the edge of the bed near her. Yes, he was just mauled by Raven's dark side, but Garfield wasn't _that_ terrorized by the event. After he threw up, he started to feel better. "Rae….what happened?"

"I lost control…..I was jealous…..Terra can control her powers….I can't…" Raven said as she was trying to slow her hard breathing down. She couldn't look at him, and turned her eyes away when he tried to comfort her. "Lust and Rage are powerful emotions…..I was afraid this would happen….when they combine…..chaos."

"Rae," He said, walking over to her side and hesitatingly putting his hand on her shoulder. He waited until her breathing became a soft beating sound. "What has caused you to think about Terra?"

"Blonds…stupid girls…..with blond hair…..and their….blue eyes….." She said as she touched his hand. He liked the feeling of her warm skin breathing deeply. Granted, it was an inappropriate moment for him to notice that, but considering what happened, it was certainly looking on the bright side. "I got…jealous…..she could please you fine if she wanted….but I…I can't even talk….."

"Rae?" He held unto to her. "Let's go to bed. We can both sleep on the good side." She followed him, but refused to look at him in the eyes.

"I need to meditate." She said, not allowing herself to lie besides Garfield side. She distanced herself a bit, and sat in a lotus position. "I'm sorry. Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…"

* * *

In the morning, Raven was once again the first one to get up. He really wanted to be the first one up this time, but his animal instincts was to sleep, if not being attacked. He woke up to a clean room, presuming she cleaned up quietly while he slept, but she was nowhere to be found. His abdominal pain Rage had given him went away as he slept, but he still felt a little strange in the morning. As he went to get dress, he noticed a small detail on him.

"Robin, I must say that I was surprised to find out who the killer was. I thought for sure it was the cheerleader, because of the blond hair. But the movie tricked me." Starfire said to Robin, as she was preparing breakfast for herself. They were both still in their pajama's, because it was a lazy Saturday for them. She flipped the strange Earth eggs as Robin got himself another cup of coffee.

"That's what movies try to do, Starfire, is to trick you. In fact, one of the major problems the movies we have today are that they are _too_ predictable, meaning we can see when they are going to trick us." Robin said. Despite the fact that it was Saturday, Cyborg was up and at 'em with the Gamestation, just waiting for Garfield to come up and play.

"How was your date with Jinx, Cyborg?" Starfire asked after a short while from her movie conversation.

"Okay, we stay up and played video games, and then we fell asleep." He said without taking his attention off from the screen.

"So, you came home early and decided to play more video games?" Robin asked.

"I was hungry. And she refused to cook for me." He said. Robin and Starfire both looked at each other with a nervous look as sweat drops went down their face.

Garfield walked in wearing nothing, but sweatpants. Starfire was the only one to first notice and quickly turned her attention to her eggs.

"Is Raven here?" Garfield asked.

"No," Robin said as he looked up from his newspaper. "Did you want to put on a shirt? I know its lazy Saturday, but it's not that lazy." Cyborg quickly turned around to see the green bean without his shirt on, let out a fit of laughter, and then went back to his video game.

* * *

Garfield went up to the roof, where Raven was sitting in a lotus position towards the rising sun, hovering above the Tower. She could sense that he was secretly watching her.

"I'm sorry again, it was an accident." She said in her normal monotone.

"Rae, we need to talk." He said.

"I can't, meditating. Tonight, or maybe tomorrow, but I have to meditate today—"

"It's _really_ important." He interrupted.

"Garfield, I'm busy—" She scolded. She stopped. "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't scold. I'm just trying meditate, so something like that wouldn't happen again. I understand if you never want to touch me again. I know what you experienced, cannot be taken lightly—"

"—Forget that now, I just need to know if you have been taking your birth control pills." He said over her.

"What?" She opened her eyes while getting out of her lotus position and turned around to face him. Then she made eye contact with since last night. His eyes seemed forgiving and even understanding. She didn't see a trace of anger, but she did see a trace of regret. "I had but, I found something out….while I was reading up on sex in the books the Monks had given me."

"What do you mean you 'had'? What did the books say?" He asked. He stared into her eyes, and could see the frighten little virgin he first saw when he tried to touch her on their wedding night.

"Somewhere, in the books, it said that Demons work off different hormones then humans do." She said, taking a deep breath as she was afraid what Garfield was about to tell her. "And to try and disrupt a Demon's hormones could create some dangerous consequences. I was already having trouble with my hormones when Lust came, I didn't want to disrupt them any further. So, I stopped around two months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. Raven turned around to face the sunrise, as the hazy light glowed on her skin.

"I don't know. I didn't want you to worry. I had faith in the condoms, and I would always time the dates apart."

"Well, something happened to the condom; it broke." He said. She just stared off into the blinding sun's lights, and then closed her eyes to absorb the heat coming from the new day.

"Of course it has." She whispered to herself. She took another deep breath and then turned back around to face him. "We have to at least wait for another day or so before I can take a test, to get an accurate result. Again, I'm sorry."

"I am too. I'm sorry Trigon is your father. I'm sorry we can't be a normal couple, but I knew the risks before I married you." He said. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Remember, for better or worse."

"For better or worse." She whispered.

* * *

It had been five days, and Garfield remembered why he married Raven as they both sat patiently on the bed in their room as the four white plastic sticks were resting on her dressing table. She was scared, and he was there to comfort her. She had even tried the morning after pill, but she could feel it in her gut that it was too late.

Occasionally, he would try to cheer her up with a lame joke he had heard on the late night shows. Even though she didn't smile or laughed, she appreciated his efforts. She couldn't look at him without feeling guilty or ashamed, and he couldn't stop looking at her in general, thinking he was protecting her by watching her change facial expressions.

Garfield's watch beeped, and she looked up to him to see if he would approve her moving away from him. They both got up together, and walked over to the dressing table.

"Positive." Raven said as she looked at all four of the blue plastic sticks. Garfield put his hand over her stomach. "Don't." She said as she pushed his hand out of the way and walked over to the bed.

"What? We might as well accept it."

"You said you didn't want kids."

"I never said that, I said _if_ you didn't want kids, then I wouldn't want kids." He said. "However, now it says that we will have a kid, so—"

"I didn't say I didn't want kids, I said I _shouldn't_ have kids. The Thing that you just tried to comfort is one quarter Demon. It would bite your head off if it had the chance." She said as she tried to keep her hands far away from her stomach as possible. "Remember that night? That's just a taste of what 'it' can do to you. We need to discuss our options."

"What options?" He asked as his ears went up.

"You know….." She said. Her eyes were twitching back and forth, as if she was implying something just by moving her pupils. "It starts with an 'a'…."

"Rae?" He asked in a begging manner as he kneeled on his knees, hugging her legs, while resting his head on her knees. "You don't seriously think that…"

"You know I'm Pro-Choice…." She said as she lowered her head towards his, this wasn't easy for her either.

"But that's not the issue here. You're Pro-Choice for different reasons." He said. "This child that you call 'it' can be a loving child, because we'll love it. It's not like you were raped at a young age and have no way to support 'it'. We can support him…or her."

"Don't do this; you knew from day one I wasn't supposed to have any children, because they would have the traits of Trigon. _I_ shouldn't be here, but I was lucky. We don't have Monks to help it." She said. She was getting frustrated as she tried to keep her monotone voice. "This decision isn't easy for me either."

"We don't need Monks, we have you." He said. "Rae, I know you know my past, but there was one thing I didn't tell you. I wasn't an only child." She couldn't say anything back. "My mother was pregnant with a girl, but she….she had a miscarriage…"

She sat down on the floor facing him. She wrapped her hands around his shoulder and put her forehead upon his forehead as she was preparing to listen to his story. Touching foreheads was their way, in the beginning of their relationship, to be intimate with each other. Now it was just something that was nostalgic for them. He could feel her cold chakra on his skin.

"I always wanted someone to play with, like another kid when I was young; I lived in Africa after all. I would occasionally see the Natives, but I would mostly play by myself." He said, trying to hide his emotions in his voice. He even tried to imitate Raven's monotone, but it didn't work. "Then, years later, my parents die. Not only was an only child, but I became…an orphan."

"Why didn't you tell me? I told you how I felt about having a child before we did….we did any of this." She lifted her head up slightly.

"Because I wanted to be with you. Having a child wasn't that important to me. Don't get me wrong, I have gotten over some of my childhood memories _because_ I am with you…but a child, a child that we make. Now," He said as he made her eyes look straight into his eyes. "I want this, Rae. We can raise him, we can love him, and it may be part of Trigon, but it would mostly be part of you, and me."

"I need to think about this more." She said as Garfield gently kissed her forehead. "This is not a decision just for us, it's a decision I am making for the team."

"Please, take your time and think about it. Don't rush into anything." He said. "Don't let Trigon run your life, or our friends."

* * *

For the next few weeks they didn't talk about anything referring to her pregnancy, even if they were alone. They were passivity living through their day-to-day routines. It was up to Raven, but she wouldn't talk to Garfield about it. She waited for the time when her period would start, to see if the tests were false, but it didn't come. She took the test again at least four times and all of the strips came up positive. Still, she couldn't make up her mind yet.

"Raven, you have dish duty today." Robin said as he was going through fan mail in the kitchen. Raven was just passing through to get some tea, when Robin stopped her in her tracts. She reluctantly put her mug down and started to wash dishes. "Hmm."

"What?" She said as she overheard him mumbling to himself.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just reading these fan letters from little kids who ask me why are there bad people in this world." He said. "Some of these letters are sad, some of them full of hope."

"Do you like kids?" She asked very sly, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, I do," He said. "In fact, it would be cool if I, myself became a dad."

"Really? I wouldn't have you pegged as the 'daddy' type." She said.

"Oh, yeah, I would love to be a dad, but," He started. "Uh, nothing."

"No, what?" She asked, lifting one eyebrow as she was keenly interested.

"Something with me. Starfire and I want to wait a while."

"But you guys have been married for three years. Maybe it's time." She said.

"Mmmm, I appreciate the support Raven, but we still want to wait." He said. "Maybe next year." Raven gave a hint of a smile as she continued with her chore.

* * *

The next day she was reading in the living room, hovering behind the couch, as Cyborg was playing with the Gamestation. He was shooting zombies and saving people, but mostly shooting zombies.

"Ah, man." He said as he was confronted with a challenge.

"What?" She asked in monotone.

"I have to save every single kid in this school, without getting killed mind you, or I fail the mission. Stupid kids…" He said, as he went back to talking to his game. "No, no, no don't sit there! We got to move…AHH! Now I got to start over again. I swear to God if I have kids, they'll be smarter than the lot of ya'll…..Well, don't sit there! Again!..."

"Are you interested at all in having kids?" Raven asked, keenly taking her attention away from her book.

"Not really." He answered, not really giving her his full attention. "I don't think I want kids. I'm just yelling at the T.V. Because the kids in this game are so god damn…..WHAT….AGAIN…DON'T SIT THERE YOU LITTLE—"

"So, you don't like kids." She said.

"Now, I didn't say that," He said. "I just said I don't think I want kids. But I do see myself as more of an uncle rather than a father. It's better; you can be the fun person and only give a little disciplining. For example, I would teach my nieces and nephews…..TO RUN WHEN THERE ARE ZOMBIES…..AND NOT SIT DOWN LIKE A LITTLE—"

"Can you yell in the game? Like give orders?" She suggested. He pushed the A button and pressed down. Then, all of the children in the game were following him wherever he went and none of them sat down.

"Oh," He said, as he calm down and went back to playing the game. "Well, thanks Rae. Now I can concentrate on the zombies."

"Raven?" Starfire asked as she came into the room, her eyes were full of fury. She was not happy. "I am feeling, what you called, frustrated. And you told me that you meditate when you're frustrated. I want to meditate, will you join? I will feel better if I had someone else meditated with me."

* * *

"Raven, aren't you going to ask me what's wrong?" Starfire asked, as they both were perched above the floor of Raven's room. Starfire peeked over to where Raven was peacefully hovering.

"I kinda was hoping you would just want to meditate. Like, no talking." She said, still with her eyes closed, trying to concentrate on her center that was now broken. She inhaled deeply, she was going to give in. "Okay, what is it?"

"Robin is spending too much time working, and I'm frustrated. I want to go out and have a nice dinner, but then he'll say that crime never sleeps, and that he needs to do some important work. He shuts me off, and then goes into his old room, where he monitors old foes and tracks them down to the exact point and location. He sometimes spends so much time tracking old foes down that he would have dinner in his room. And I always check up on him but—"

"Point?"

"I told you, I want to spend more time with him, but he sure makes a lot of smokes and mirrors about—"

"Do you know what the phrase 'smoke and mirrors' means?" Raven asked as she wanted to limit Starfire's speeches. "He's the leader. He's psychotic about these kinds of things. It's almost scary. But you just have to remind him that he needs to let go sometimes."

"I guess. But how—"

"Try wearing something revealing. At least more revealing then what you already have on. Or better yet, tell him how you feel." Raven said; she still hadn't opened up her eyes yet. One can only imagine Starfire walking back and forth as she talks until her heart is content.

"Well, I guess I could try that." Starfire said. "I mean, I never have told Robin about this yet. Thank you, friend Raven."

"You know Starfire, you don't have to call me friend before you say my name."

"Aren't we friends."

"Yeah, but it's just weird. It's like me calling you red head Starfire."

"But I do have—"

"Never mind." Raven said. "Is there anything else bothering you, you know, while I am in this position? This is your chance."

"Well…...now that you mentioned it. I overheard you talking to Robin yesterday. He said that we were waiting to have kids." Starfire said, not as eager to express herself now than before. "That's not the case."

"Oh?" Raven said. She opened up her eyes to find a Starfire sitting comfortably on her bed, with a sorrow look.

"I-I-I can't bear children." She said. "I am a different species then Robin. He is human, and I am a Tamaranean. Our genes just don't add up."

"Well, what about my mother. She was raped by my father, and they had me? He was a Demon." Raven asked. "What about Beast Boy—" She realized what she was about to say, and suddenly went back to her first question. "What about my father?"

"I do not know the race of a Demon. You would know more about that then I. Maybe his genes were able to reproduce with a human. Maybe he used magic. All I know is that, we have been trying for a long time." She said. She couldn't say anymore, this was the first person she ever talked about it other than Robin.

She felt safe around Raven's private ears, because Raven would more often than not offer advice, or at least comfort. Raven didn't know what to do, here she was trying to decide the fate of an unknown fetus that could destroy her husband at any time, and Starfire wants one for herself. However, she couldn't produce one.

Raven didn't know what words to tell Starfire that would in some way comfort her, other than to—but of course she couldn't possibly do that. She was still trying to make a decision, and if she did in the end get rid of 'It', then she couldn't tell Starfire that part. Starfire would hate her forever, and she probably didn't even have an understanding to what an abortion was.

Raven felt trapped in a corner. It was almost ironic, almost a joke, the universe decided to play a trick on her just to make her just _feel_ something. What more could the universe want? She already gave her heart, body, and soul to Garfield, and now the universe was mocking her about her own decision on whether or not she should have this 'Thing' inside, called a baby, be born. This 'baby' could very well destroy half the city just from crying.

Raven had looked up on quarter born demons, but it turned out that no one in the cult of Trigon had gone beyond that point. It was either a full Demon or a half. Either Trigon would have children with a human, or his children would make more children with Trigon's other demon friends.

Or the children would make children with each other, ew, but then again they were Demons, can't expect much. In fact, Raven was a miracle herself for surviving past her seventeenth birthday. Whatever Raven was going to decide, it would be a first for the people of Azarath. Or at least as much as they had known.

"Starfire," She was going to do it, she needed Starfire's input. She was told at a young age not to have sex, but she did, and the world was still intact. Maybe the Monks weren't right about everything. She stood up to face Starfire sitting on her bed, barely able to look at her in the eyes. "What if I told you something important? Something that might make you cheer up? Because I'm scared." One of her pillows exploded, she ignored it, but Starfire noticed.

"What is it Raven? What is making you act this strange?"

"Starfire, I don't know how to put this. But Beast Boy and I had a rough night, one night. And one thing led to another. Something I wasn't expecting, nor planning, nor wanting even—"

"What is it?" Now it seemed that Starfire wanted Raven to get to the point just as much as Raven would like Starfire to get to the point in her rumbles.

"I need you to remain calm, because I am really scared. And I told Beast Boy I would think about what to do, but," She said as another pillow exploded, again, she ignored it. "I'm pregnant."

Starfire gasped, it was one of those news that she wasn't ever expected to hear. Just like how when the rest of the team was shocked when Starfire one day announced that she had to get married to a total stranger, Starfire was now feeling stunned herself. What's more is that she couldn't pick a feeling to go with her surprise. She didn't feel solely happy, sad, angry, or even jealous.

"Did you want this? You sound like you don't want it." She finally said after a long silence. Raven looked her in the eyes. "I don't know much about Earth, but I do know a little about Earth pregnancies. Isn't there something called, what is it that could take away your pregnancy?"

"An abortion." Raven said. She was surprised how much Starfire knew. "That is what I'm thinking about."

"How does Beast Boy feel?" She asked.

"He wants it. Wants it more than life itself." She said bluntly. "He doesn't say that, of course, but the stories he has told me about his childhood indicate that he desperately wants a child of his own. And he knew when we were going out that I shouldn't have one."

Starfire was confused. "You say you _shouldn't_ have one, not that you didn't _want_ one."

"Well, I meant that too—"

"Raven, why shouldn't you have one?"

"Because my father is Trigon. If I have a child, I would be continuing the reign of his genes. This child would be one quarter Demon; the world can't have that—"

"The world had you, and it has survived." Starfire said. "What's more is that we're here to protect it. Raven, if you're afraid of a baby only because it would be part Demon, you have to remember that you're one half Demon, and you wanted more out of life then what Trigon had planned for you."

"It's funny, when I was young, I would sometimes play with my dolls, and pretend that I was a mother. But then, one of the Monks saw me, and told me that I could never be a mother, that I could only pretend. I cried for a bit, but I quickly learned that he was right, Trigon was powerful inside me." Raven said. "I'm afraid Trigon would be powerful inside this….baby."

"Raven, we have defeated Trigon," Starfire said, she sat up and looked towards Raven's stomach. "If you don't want a child because you don't want kids, I respect that. But if you want a child, but say you don't only because this child will have Trigon's genes; you have to remember, that it will mostly have Beast Boy and your genes. I want you to be happy."

"You're not mad that I might be thinking of abortion?" Raven asked, after a while.

"No, while I may be a little envious about the fact that you and Beast Boy were able to reproduce, it's not your fault why I can't." Starfire said as she started to walk towards the door. "But, you have given me hope with Robin and me, since you are half Demon. Maybe somehow, at the right moment, a Tamaranean can reproduce with a human."

"Maybe." Raven said, and smiled as Starfire exited the room. She quietly sat down on her bed, running the conversation over again in her head. She glanced down at her stomach. Hesitantly, she placed her hands over her belly button. She could feel a calm energy around it, which would fade occasionally, due to its early forming, but altogether was there. "Maybe."

SEE YOU GUYS SOON.


	4. The Decision and It's Consequences

A week later, while Raven and Garfield were getting ready for bed.

"I've decided." She simply said. He was lying down without a shirt on, about to fall asleep when she announced it. He turned around, and was waiting for her to start her answer. She was sitting up, reading a book when she decided that it was the right time. She wore a loose, dark purple, long sleeve gown.

"This baby could be very dangerous and could probably drive us apart on how we should go about raising it," She started. "We even disagreed on this decision; think about the bigger decisions we would have to disagree on if this child was to live. This will also be the first one quarter Demon in the history of Azarath, and so there is nothing in my books about them. There are only full Demon's and half Demons. I don't even think one third Demons exists either."

Garfield had a sorrowful look on his face. "Oh." He said.

"I would worry about many things while raising it. And I'm afraid I might lose you in the process, because you can deal with me being calm, but you haven't yet dealt with me being…hormonal."

"Rae, that's not going to—"

"—But, with that said," She interrupted as she gave a hint of a smile. "Deep down inside, I always wanted to be a mother, but I just didn't want to admit it." Garfield's ears lifted up. "It's time for you to grow up, because you're going to be a Daddy."

"You really mean it Rae? I'm going to be a father!" He shouted with glee as he jumped up from his side of the bed into Raven's arms. He passionately kissed her neck as he made his way to her lips. She dropped her book and allowed herself to melt into his arms. He then stopped, and crawled over to her stomach as she petted his hair. He put his hand over her stomach as he was beginning to fall asleep from the excitement. "You won't regret this Rae, I'll make sure of it."

Raven slept soundly that night, having most if not all of the bed to herself, because Garfield morphed into a cat and slept beside her stomach throughout the night. In the morning, both of them seemed to wake up around the same time, Garfield morphed back into his human form and just spend a while staring up at her as she stroked his hair.

"Morning." He said.

"Morning." She said as she smiled. As she was getting dressed, her uniform turned white when she put it on. She kept her hood down. "Ready to tell the team?" She nodded.

* * *

They began to act as though they were going out for the first time again. He wanted to carry her while he made second rate jokes, and she chuckled at those stupid jokes, only because he made them. It was as if they were both seventeen again, and they didn't have a care in the world. She didn't worry about her powers becoming uncontrollable, although a light bulb would occasionally break, and he didn't worry about saying the wrong thing. They both walked into the main room, where everybody else was already up, just beaming at the news they were about to tell.

"Guys," He said. "We kind of have an announcement." They didn't hear him, Robin and Starfire were busying in the kitchen discussing the latest issue out of the White House, and Cyborg was busy playing video games, again. Raven just chuckled as Garfield became irritated. "Hey!" Everyone stopped and stared at Garfield. "Hi. Uh, we have an announcement. So, you know, gather round."

The team had put down the items that they were holding and formed a small circle around them. Raven couldn't say anything; she really was very shy when she got this kind of attention. She could only blush and keep her head down as Garfield did all the talking. She liked talking to the team about anything else really, except just glorifying herself.

"Robin, is my old room still functioning?" Garfield asked. Robin raised his eyebrows.

"Um, yeah. I can turn the power back on in there, but other than that, I haven't touched it." Robin said.

"Good, because we're going to need it." He said as he looked at Raven. "Guys, in eight months, Raven is going to be a mother, and I am going to be a daddy." Raven blushed even more.

Cyborg and Starfire came forward to first congratulate Raven, as she kept looking down, beaming with glee from the attention she was getting. Then they moved over to where Garfield was standing and started to talk about all sorts of things relating to children, like how they were going to babysit him or teach him how to throw a ball.

Raven looked up to watch the team surround Garfield, but then she turned to where Robin was standing, and her smiled fade. He had his arms crossed, with a stern look on his face that made Raven uneasy. He walked away from the scene, with only Raven noticing.

* * *

"I'll be right back." She said to the others. She followed Robin out into the hallway. "Robin?"

"I thought you were smarter than that Rae." He said without looking back.

"I don't understand, I thought you would be happy because that meant there was a chance for you and Starfire," She said, confused by his actions. "Starfire told me the real reason why you won't have kids and—"

"This isn't about Starfire and myself," Robin interrupted. "She's different from you, she has alien genes, but you have Trigon's genes."

Raven gasped, putting her hands over her mouth in shocked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing; never had Robin or any of her teammates insulted her about her genes being inferior to their genes. Garfield had sympathizes with her on the issue, but he also praised her for the things that were positive about her gene. She always had put herself down, replying that it was her battle to fight, not theirs, but _they_ had never once put _her_ down because of it.

"Robin, how can you say such a thing? You don't think I know what I am doing?" Raven said as she began to raise her voice. She was not going to have someone ruin this for her. "Don't you think I have spent many nights thinking about this child and what it would bring? Hell, I talked to Starfire about it because I was still deciding if I should keep the baby. We didn't plan this, but it happened. And Beast Boy and I are glad. So, don't think that you can just take away our happiness."

"How much time did you have to think about this before you quickly made this decision? I heard you tell Beast Boy yourself, when you two were first going out, that you shouldn't have children." He said.

It was as if Raven was being haunted by one of the Monks she had known back then. She could just picture Robin with a brown robe on, about to teach her a lesson with a plank because she had misbehaved, her eyes filled with horror as he continued to talk.

"And if you didn't plan this, how did it happen? I just can't picture it happening accidently. I mean, you guys weren't even intimate with each other until after three months from your wedding." He said.

Raven's face dropped with terror, how could Robin know that? She became embarrassed rather than angry, even though he had insulted her. Just any of her teammates knowing about her intimate problems was worst then being insulted.

Robin realized she hadn't said anything after a while and looked back to find a timid Raven backing up away. His eyes widen as he realized what he just said; it was fluke, he didn't mean to let _that_ slipped.

"Raven, I'm sor—" He began.

"No," She interrupted as she continued to stare at him while she backed up slowly. "No, no, no, no. You should not have known that, nobody should. It's not his fault, it's…..no, no, no….."

"Raven….." He said as she ran away, trying to hide the soft tears dripping down her face.

* * *

She fled to her room, the only safe place there was. She closed the door quickly, facing the frame and had lean up against it with her forehead, arms crossed over her head; she let her tears run wild for a bit. Some of her books flew off of their shelves, and she quietly stopped her crying. As she turned around to go sit on her bed to meditate, she saw Garfield sitting there, with a blank expression on his face.

After Raven had gone out to the hallway, Garfield went back to their room when the team was done giving out their congratulations. He had thought she had gone to their room to escape the attention.

"Raven, what happened?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around her, surprised about her mood changing from that morning. She allowed her tears to come out slowly. "Is it hormones?"

"No, no, no, no," She said as she broke from his embrace. She made eye contact with him. "Robin is-is angry at me. So, I ask-asked him what was the problem. He doesn't think-think that I had made the right decision by keeping this baby. And-and-and….."

"What?" He asked.

"And-and…..somehow he knows that I-I have problems in bed….I don't know how he would know that….." She said as she allowed Garfield to hold her again. "If it was just about the baby, I wouldn't be this-this upset…but he knows about us…"

Garfield was enraged as he comforted Raven. Not only had Robin insulted Raven's capabilities of her being a mother, but he told Raven that he knew how they were with each other. He didn't know if Robin said it on purpose out of fury or if he accidently let Raven know that he knew.

Either way, he was livid beyond the point of being happy from her pregnancy. He couldn't tell Raven how Robin knew, it would only make her feel guilty about her powers being released into the night; he could only comfort her, and tell her a white lie; that he one day accidently mentioned it after the first time, and Robin figured it out for himself that it was their first time.

"It was a mistake on my part," He said as he looked into her eyes, trying to dry them up. "I thought Robin would know better and never mentioned it…..but I'm sorry I told him, Rae."

Raven calm down a bit as she realized that maybe Robin knew because of the cameras he keeps around the Tower. She probably figured she unleashed something and Garfield had to explain to Robin for some reason, and he just happen to put two to two together. She didn't need Garfield to explain anymore, she rather believed his version anyway then her own.

However, she still felt betrayed that Robin would throw that back into her face, when _he_ himself had intimacy problems with Starfire, and it was _Raven_ who helped Starfire. Her uniform slowly turned back to her usual blue color. Garfield could just fill Raven's energy drained when it happened. She decided to meditate for a bit, and broke Garfield's embrace in order to get into a lotus position on their bed. She closed her eyes and quietly started to chant her words as she tried to escape reality and entered into her fantasy world.

Garfield walked over to Raven and kissed her on her cold chakra before he exited their room. She didn't know what he was going to do, but she was going to stay out of it because her emotions were crazy enough as it was.

* * *

Garfield aggressively walked back to the living room, where he saw Cyborg still playing with his game, and Starfire sitting next to him, cheering him on. Robin was standing behind the couch, with his eyes on the screen, but not paying attention to it. Garfield walked up behind Robin.

"Robin?" He said calming, tightening his fists. Robin was expecting this, a confrontation with Garfield, so he slowly turned around.

Before Robin could say a single word or even react, Garfield morphed into a gorilla and punched Robin between his eyes. Robin fell down from the force, gripping his nose from the pain. Garfield morphed back. Cyborg and Starfire stopped what they were doing as soon as they heard Robin slam on the floor. Starfire's eyes had glow bright green as she flew over to where Robin was and threatened to throw star bolts at Garfield.

"Beast Boy! What on Earth are you doing?" She demanded as she threw a star bolt at Garfield, but he was able to dodge it. "I demand an explanation!"

"Easy Star! I was just getting pay back!" He said as she threw another star bolt at him, this time the bolt glazed his shoulder, tearing his uniform a bit.

"Pay back for what? We do not punch friends!" She said as she was about to throw another one straight for his face. He tripped over, and so couldn't dodge the star bolt that she was holding.

"He insulted Raven until she cried!" He said and this made Starfire stopped. She looked at Robin.

"Is this true?" She asked Robin, he hesitantly got up a bit, still gripping his nose. "What did you say to her?" She demanded.

"I just said," Robin said as he tried to compose himself. "That she shouldn't have a baby…because her father is Trigon."

"Robin!" She screamed as she walked away to her room. "How could you say such a thing…do you know how much persuasion and encouragement I had given Raven…." She said as Robin was following her outside into the hallway. Garfield's angry simmered down a bit.

"You alright?" Cyborg asked from behind the couch.

"Yeah, it's just that Raven came into our bedroom crying." He said as he took a sit next to Cyborg to play video games; it was _his_ form of meditating. "However, it just wasn't about the baby. Robin kind of told Raven something to her which implied that he knew something about our sex life, and it embarrassed her. I didn't want you guys to know about our intimacy, because it would embarrass Raven. I told him not to say anything; Robin needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut." He was glad to tell someone else, even though he had just told Cyborg bluntly that they had a rocky sex relationship.

"Well if you didn't want to embarrass Raven, why are you telling me this?" He asked as he started a game that involved two players.

"Well, I'm upset _too_, and I need to talk about it with someone else, because Rae is trying to calm down. And you're the only other person who knows about us, in that way at least." Garfield said. He looked over to Cyborg, with a grim stare. "Please don't tell Rae this, I'm serious. She's pregnant; it's not healthy for the baby for her to _feel_ bad. We don't know how her emotions could affect the baby."

"Don't worry," Cyborg said as he was about to press start on their game. "After the way Rae confronted me that one time, I vowed never to talk about it again…You know you shouldn't have punched him in the face."

"I know," He said. "But I was angry. And it kind of felt good. I'll apologize later, but for now I am going to take my aggression out on _your_ player."

"Not if _I_ have anything to say to that." Cyborg said and with that they started their battle on the screen.

* * *

That night while Raven was still meditating and Garfield was preparing for bed, there was a knock on the door. Garfield, wearing only his sweatpants, answered the door.

"What?...No, she's meditating…..Okay, okay, fine…." Raven could hear Garfield say as she was trying to focus on her center. Garfield slowly walked over to her side. "Raven? There's someone at the door for you. Just please take it, so we can go to bed."

She didn't argue with him, she just got up and walked over to the door. She opened it half way to find a somber Starfire looking back at her, who then pulled a grimly looking Robin to the door. Raven couldn't look at Robin, she just stared at the doorframe, putting her hood up. Whenever she was mad with a teammate, she could only act cold, but this was different. He was reminding her of her past, and she didn't want to handle that just yet. Robin then awkwardly smiled a bit and scratched his head.

"Raven, look I'm sorry." He said. She didn't respond. "I shouldn't have said that you were quiet in bed—I mean, I'm sorry." He remembered that Starfire was standing behind him. "You know how I am; I get paranoid when something is beyond my control. How can I take news about _anyone_ being pregnant?" Raven, again, didn't make any indication that she was paying attention. Garfield then promptly walked over to the door and opened it wider so that he could see.

"Okay, you apologize." Garfield said as he was more or less talking to Starfire more than Robin. "This isn't exactly the right time to do this. We're getting ready for bed, and she barely had time today to meditate—"

"—She's meditated all day—" Robin said.

"Robin!" Garfield interrupted. "At one time or another I would had agreed with you, but not when she is carrying my child _and_ she has had a long day." They both got up in each other's faces.

"Hey! I'm right here; don't act like I am a delicate child that can't defend myself." She said, as if all of a sudden she had been in the conversation the whole time. She had broken from her timid state of mind. She looked at Robin square in the eye. "I accept."

It was more towards putting on a show for the boys so they wouldn't fight then it was to _actually_ mean it. Robin may be like the brother she never had, but he crossed a line, that she thought he could never uncross. Plus, he still might have more to say on her choice of keeping her pregnancy and she wanted to at least make amends for the time being.

However, the other's bought it, including Robin, and everyone settled down.

"And Beast Boy, do _you_ have anything to say?" Starfire said sternly. Raven was confused, she eyed over to a guilty looking Garfield.

"Sorry," He said, as he looked down at his shoes. "I'm sorry, Robin. I got carried away. Friends?" He put his hand out.

"Friends." Robin said as he calmingly shook his hand. Both Starfire and Robin made their way back down to their room, as Garfield slowly closed the door.

"Are you _really_ sorry?" He asked. Raven crossed her arms. "I mean what Robin did—"

"What did you do?" She asked, changing the subject with her graceful monotone.

"I punched him….in the face….with…..my gorilla form…" He said as he awkwardly laughed.

She didn't like the whole 'damsel in distress' thing, nor did she think it was still relevant in the time and age they lived in. She gave him a gloomily look.

"Oh, come on! I was mad! You were the bigger person and walked away and meditated. I'm _not_ a bigger person by any means...well, no, that's not what I meant—I mean I am big in at least _one_ area, but the point is—"

"Garfield…." She said. "I appreciate the gesture, but you know I don't like you to fight my battles. I was even a little irritated that Starfire _forced_ Robin to apologize, instead of him doing it on his own accord. Please just—"

"No, Raven." He said. She wanted to rip him into pieces for interrupting her, but she left him alone to hear what he had to say. "You are pregnant. I need to protect my family. Yeah, I know you don't believe in that whole 'the guy saves the girl' stuff, but if we were to switch places, you would probably do the same thing." She didn't say anything, because it was true. "Yeah, I know I am a _man_, so it would fit the old stereotype. But believe me; what I did was _not_ to protect your honor at all. Well, I mean a little bit. I was pissed off at Robin, because he bad mouthed our child, _and _then proceeded to insult our lovemaking."

Raven still kept her arms cross, but she gave a little smile.

"Don't call it 'lovemaking'; it makes us sound like we're a factory." She said. "What are we going to do about Robin; he keeps bringing up points that I brought up when I was against this. If I'm not careful, he could become very persuasive."

"I'll take care of Robin—"

"Every problem can't be solved by beating up our friends." She said.

She was becoming irritated by this conversation. She went back to her lotus position, as she slowly closed her eyes and put her hands out. "Look, he has a full eight months to complain before this baby will be here. We need to deal with him in a better way other then threatening him."

"Can we figure that out tomorrow, or another day? I'm tired." He said as he made his way over to their bed.

"Okay, but I'm just warning you." She said, as she began to chant the words to calm her down.

"Rae? You're not coming to bed yet?" He asked, even though he had pointed it out to Robin that she had not meditated enough that day, it was only to make an excuse for him to leave.

"No, I need to meditate. It has been a hectic day….Azarath, Mentrion..…" She said. Garfield went to sleep quickly as her chanting was like a calming lullaby to him.

* * *

For the next two months, Raven had got out her old, small, hard cover books that the Monks had made her read when she was a little girl. She wondered what her mother would think of her, having a child that would continue the traits of Trigon. It was her mother's fault for Raven being born the way she was; she could have been a normal human being. At least that is what Arella would tell her sometimes when she was growing up.

Raven didn't want to believe it, but now she was in the same position herself at the moment and couldn't help, but feel just as guilty as her mother did back then.

While she had contacted her mother when Trigon was taking over the world, she had thought Azarath was lost and her mother was dead. After Trigon was defeated, however, and Earth was saved, the world of Azarath was also saved as well. She had visited her mother once after his defeat, in order to get her emotions in check, but she hadn't seen her since. She thought about visiting her mother, asking her about her opinion, but she felt she couldn't face her yet.

By now she could feel the weight of her stomach as a ball of energy that didn't seem to fade at all. It was almost as if the baby knew Raven didn't want them right away, and so didn't feel welcomed at first. Now, it was as if the baby knew Raven had accepted them, and wanted to constantly make their presences known.

Or it could just be that the fetus was more developed and stronger now, but the first one sounded more whimsical.

She knew the first theory was silly, because a baby was unconscious during most of the time spent in the womb; however she still liked to try to find reasons that having this baby _wasn't_ the most dangerous thing she would ever do.

She wasn't showing yet despite being in her third month, but she was the first to notice a change in her body weight. She had gain a bit of weight, and her uniform started to get really tight on her.

She seemed to try to avoid Robin as much as she could, for fear of having another confrontation. She knew he wouldn't do it again or at least try to be civil about the whole ordeal. Although whatever he would say, he found a way to make her feel guilty again. She was still on the team, so she had to listen to him giving out orders, but other than that she avoided his presence like the plague.

Cyborg was indifferent about the whole situation. He was glad that he was going to be an uncle, and possibly a god-father if Robin kept interfering, but he also understood Robin's position on the situation. Cyborg couldn't even pretend to understand Raven's dark side, and how it could be triggered, so naturally he was fearful of a smaller, more unstable version of Raven. However, Garfield was very happy, and it gave Cyborg confidence, although sometimes he would wonder if Garfield's love made him blind about the reality of the situation.

Starfire was of course overjoyed for the following months. Not only had this given her hope for Robin and her, but it also gave her a chance to have some 'practice' at being a mother. However, she quickly realized that Raven was going to raise this baby differently then how _she_ would.

This child wasn't half Tamaranean; this child was going to be part Demon. Although, Raven was just thankful for someone other than Garfield to help her out with her pregnancy. In a way, this helped ease the tension between Robin and the Logan's.

While Raven took the high road and avoided Robin as much as possible, Garfield on the other hand tended to give him unforgiving looks whenever they would meet. They didn't say anything, because all was said within each other's stares.

It's strange how the boys could conquer large creatures, defeat undefeatable villains, escape certain death, and yet have nothing to say in an argument between them.

This wasn't a stupid fight that could be solved within a twenty-four hour time frame; this was a controversial subject within the household. Nobody wanted to lose, but even the winner would be a loser in the end.

"It's pointless." Raven said, as she took a sip of her tea while lounging in the living room couch while Garfield was playing with his Gamestation. The fourth month was upon them. "You both argue, or at least _stare_ and say unkind words to each other. The decision has already been made, and Robin lost. Don't debate him on it. It has a negative impact on the team."

She could feel her uniform becoming tighter and tighter as the weeks went by. Up to this point, she just wanted to rip off her clothes as she was trying to adjust her outfit. She had planned on getting loose fitting clothing sooner, but it was only days ago that her uniform started to feel uncomfortable.

"I know, but I can't help feel responsible. After all, it takes _two_ to make a baby. You shouldn't take all the blame." He said as he bent his controller a certain way, as if to make the buttons react faster. "I asked you to keep him…or her, and then you did by your own will. He shouldn't put the blame all on you. We both gave input on this decision."

"No, this whole thing is my fault." She said as she was again trying to make herself comfortable with her tight leotard. "If I hadn't felt…jealous. If I hadn't felt rage…this would not be an issue now. It is my fault I broke the condom. It is Terra's curse."

"What?" He said as he paused his game to look over at his uncomfortable wife.

"Terra's curse. She is the reason why I felt the way I felt, and because of her…" She pointed towards her ever expanding stomach. "This."

"Raven!" He shouted angrily as he inhaled and let out a gush of air, he was about to explode, but calmed down. "Don't." He said very calmly.

Garfield then turned off his game and began walked away. Raven was confused, as she looked over to her husband slowly walking away from her in anger.

"Beast Boy!" She yelled out to get his attention. He turned around. She calmingly said, "Garfield, what did I do?"

" 'Terra's curse'? I mean, can you _be_ any crueler?"

Raven then had an idea of what he meant. Terra was Garfield's first love, possibly his first major girlfriend that he one day viewed as his wife. And she died. Or if she wasn't dead, then she rejected him like a young popular school girl rejects a nerd.

However, while Garfield may have ended up with Raven in the end, the idea of her innocence was still fresh in his mind, even after all these years. While Raven was disagreeable with Terra, she had to respect his feelings. She put down her tea.

"How about I call it 'Terra's blessing' then? Either way, it is still my fault." She said apologetic, trying not to upset another team member.

He signed, turned around and took a seat next to her. He was still mad, and wanted to mope in their room, but he realized that he was no longer a free bachelor with the benefit of staying moody. He had to learn to let go of the little arguments in life, and this was one of them.

"You're just saying that so I wouldn't be mad." He said, noticing her one leg lounging close to him. He took off of her boot. "Part of you doesn't really mean it. Why must you try to please everyone?" He found her creamy gray skin erotic as she flexed her foot toward him.

"I don't try to please everyone." She slowly put her other foot closer to Garfield. She could sense that he was still mad. She just quietly said, "I only want to please you. I'm sorry about the Terra comment." For the moment, it was enough for him to not stay angry.

"I can't stay mad at you, not when you're sacrificing yourself to give me a child." He said as he took off her other boot. He gazed into her eyes, as she kept tugging at her uniform when it bunched up too high for her comfort.

"I wasn't trying to be cruel when I said Terra's curse. I sometimes don't think when I talk. Maybe that's why I don't say that much on the team except a sly remark. One of the first things I had to learn on the team was how to be kind." She said. She undid her cloak. She then lay down as she was getting more comfortable. "This damn uniform is getting tight, and it's making me uncomfortable. I can't wait to put on some loose-fitting clothes."

"Well, maybe you should take it off?" He said suggestively.

It was as if Raven had never said anything about Terra, or he wanted to pretend she _was_ the angel _he_ wanted to see. Maybe it was just the quiet day where the sun was shining just right on her face. Maybe it was the atmosphere in the room where all was peaceful and smelled like lemons from a nearby candle. Maybe it was just because he didn't want to fight and it was his way of making up.

Maybe he was just horny.

"What? No, we can't do it now, or here." She said as she bolted straight up from his suggestion. She was just inches from his face, his breathing ever so warm to her and even if she wasn't in the mood before, at the current moment he was making it awfully hard for her to say no again. He lightly touched her one of her foot and gently stroked her ankle.

She quietly undid his communicator belt and took off his jumpsuit. He then peeled down her leotard, while she lay down so he could get it all the way off, and exposed their nudity in the sunlight. She came back up to where he was sitting. They stared deep into each other's eyes before Raven slightly leaned in to kiss him with him opening his mouth to welcome her tongue. Her heart wasn't fully into it, but she wanted to make Garfield happy, and have her completely forgive her.

They both knew the Titans were off in the city, with Robin doing groceries, Starfire shopping in the mall, and Cyborg looking at the latest technology. Whether or not it was a good idea, it was too late to stop what they had started.

She wrapped her arms around him as she pulled him down with her lips, and he gladly followed. She quickly realized that she was losing control in the heat of the moment, as Lust was happy to be released from her cage so fast, and resorted to her chanting.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…" She said as she lay down with their bodies becoming one. She closed her eyes and kept saying her chant. The windows were not covered, for all of Jump City to see, but for the moment she didn't care.

They probably couldn't see them anyway from the position the Tower was facing and the fact that the Titan's Tower was one of the largest buildings in Jump City. However, if they could see them, she hoped they enjoyed the view.

Garfield took his time this time, when trying to please Raven. He didn't want another incident again, even if she was already pregnant. For someone who would talk in monotone all the time and use sarcasm, she was a very emotional girl if not treated right. The night Raven lost control _was_ actually the last time they had their fun. It was three months now, and Garfield wanted to have fun again.

Thrusting up and down, down and up, occasionally to the side. He was working up a sweat and becoming dehydrated. She forgot how much fun the joy of the ride was, soon her heart became into it.

"…Keep concentrating….concentrating….." Garfield would whisper now and again.

Even though Raven was busy concentrating, he had a way of knowing how he was doing. He had noticed early on that Raven's feet would twitch and turn whenever he was doing something right, and her legs would become still if he was doing something wrong. She couldn't keep her legs still when he would touch a sensitive part.

When she was flexing her foot toward him, it reminded him of how he just loved to have her feet twitch. The only way he knew that the leg trick worked was when she would be smiling during those silent moments afterward.

Raven held onto his back as she could feel Lust slowly taking over her. He would again thrust up towards her face and back down to her stomach. The couch springs began to make noises as he started to go faster. Their constant routine began to put a damper on the piece of furniture they were performing on.

"Az-AR-ath, MEN-trion, zin-THOS…" She said as she began to raise her voice. He was becoming warm for her, and it made her mouth dry as she kept saying her chant.

Raven's feet began to twitch. Garfield's nails morphed into claws, in the heat of the moment, and made little marks on her arms and stomach. She could feel the pain from the sharp claws, as the drops of blood dripped down, but she didn't care. She wanted to feel Garfield, and barely healed herself as she kept chanting her mantra.

"I'm not stopping…..I'm not stopping….keep concentrating…keep concentrating…." Garfield whispered.

When Garfield started to hold back, just as Raven's Lust was being satisfied, Raven sat upright. She wanted to be his equal again. Sitting on her knees, she held onto his shoulders as Garfield went faster. However, this somehow made her feel tired all of a sudden, and she stopped her chanting briefly, with her eyes rolling to the top of her head and back down. She was losing it.

"Come on, just a little more…azarath, mentrion, zinthos…say it with me…." He could feel her slowly fading away. He didn't want her to stop chanting or he would have to stop himself from their exercise, but he didn't want to do that either. "Azarath…mentrion….zinthos…..please say it with me…."

Her body was getting tired, which rarely happened. Maybe because it was the baby, although she knew she had to finish the exercise up, but just not early. She thought that she could still continue, but she almost felt like fainting. She repeated in her own chant after him. She held her head up to the ceiling, as Garfield occasionally kiss the sweat off her neck.

He started to go faster, and this woke up Raven from her sleepy spell. She could feel that climax coming and tried to stay awake for the best part. He held onto Raven as he went backwards a bit, and came back forward with a mighty force.

"Beast BOY...AZA-rath, MENTR-ion, ZINTHOS…." She shouted out loud, trying to fill the whole Tower up with ball of energy surrounded them. A cold breeze swept up through their hair. The black energy disappeared and all was quiet again. The sunlight became brighter in the room as she lay back down on the couch. He lay on top of her as they both breathed heavily from their afternoon delight.

At a certain point, he got up and got dressed as he went to see if there was any damaged to the Tower. Time seemed to slow down for her, since she wasn't in any hurry to get dress, or even to get up from the couch, she put a blanket over herself after the sweat drops cooled down. Her hair was not only frizzy, but oily.

She didn't care if the team walked in on her, she didn't care if she stayed there until midnight. For the moment, she was in total bliss, and in her mind, this baby didn't seem to be the _most_ dangerous thing in the world.

The couch was covered in sweat, and she almost thought about cleaning it up, _almost_. She would wash those seats covers, or at least buy new ones so the team didn't have to sit there. However, she wondered if the team ever did the same thing on that very couch, and she never knew because they cleaned it up.

After some time, Garfield came back, after having to clean up some of the messes that Raven created in their room, as well as the kitchen. However, all and all, nothing seem to be damaged, it was more of things being in the wrong spot. She was getting better at controlling her Lust. She had spent the time listening to the silence that she was blessed with. He came in and went back to playing on his Gamestation, while Raven blissfully watched, not wanting to do anything to escape this moment.

"Aren't you afraid of the team coming in?" He asked as he pressed the pause button on the control. He forgot to turn it off, but it still saved his game, even if he wasn't playing with it for around forty-five minutes.

"Frankly, Garfield, I don't give a damn." She said charmingly.

She knew the words were lost on him even though they had both watched _Gone with the Wind_ at one time, but it made her feel good to be the one quoting movies for _once_. At some point her blissful mood began to fade away. "I can sense the other's are still over at the mall, and they don't seem to becoming home anytime soon." Even with that said she slowly got up and started to dress. "Maybe it is Terra's blessing."

He looked back at her as she was getting dressed, smiling. He wasn't angry anymore, and forgave her.

_I really can't stay mad at her, maybe I am a fool in love, but at least I am _her_ fool than any other kind. _He thought.

IT'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE ANOTHER FEW CHAPTERS BEFORE ANOTHER LEMON SCENE, BECAUSE I KIND OF GO INTO OTHER DRAMA SCENES AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS BEFORE ANOTHER LEMON SCENE. I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN THAT CHAPTER IS GETTING CLOSER.


	5. Some Punishments Has It's Reward's

I JUST GOT THE NEW TEEN TITANS COMIC FROM DC (2011) CALLED 'THE HUNT FOR RAVEN', MY FIRST COMIC I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE, SO FORGIVE MY GIRLY ENTHUSIASM. I USUALLY SKIM THROUGH THEM IN THE BOOK STORE, BUT BECAUSE OF THE TITLE AND SUBJECT MANNER, I JUST HAD TO OWN IT. ALL I KNOW IS AT THE END HER AND BB SHARE A MOMENT. CAN'T WAIT TO READ IT. IT HAS STATIC SHOCK IN IT TOO.

I TRIED REALLY HARD TO KEEP A CERTAIN SOMEONE COMING UP IN THE STORY TO STAY IN CHARACTER. I HOPE I DID HER JUSTICE. ENJOY.

The following month, the tension between the boys started to fade. At times they could start conversations again without bringing up Raven at all. By this point, Robin would have to accept that they were going to keep the baby and he would have to learn to adapt to this change.

He usually made the big decisions on the team, but this decision was beyond him, and that is what really upset him.

Starfire was still cheerful of the whole event, but she was starting to see the side effects of being pregnant, and eventually, becoming a mom. The morning sickness didn't get under her skin, nor was it Raven's weird cravings, but it seemed to be the small stuff. Raven couldn't trained as hard as the others, nor join in the fights as much.

The baby sometimes wore her out even before a certain time, and it disrupted her meditations as well as sleeping habits. Raven didn't complain about the changes, she expected them, however she told Starfire and this made Starfire see the downsides of being pregnant.

Cyborg was still indifferent, but he was supportive. Garfield seemed to be always happy when he saw that swelling belly she had.

At this point, she was wearing a loose, long sleeve, dark blue shirt, with a long, flowing, light blue skirt that went down to her knees. Even though she had on an overload of clothes she still kept her blue cloak on. She had a noticeable bump that unless one didn't know she was pregnant, they could swear she was getting chubby.

Even though she was pregnant, she was still part of the team, and could still get her emotions out through fighting. Despite her holding back due to her condition, fighting was a great way to let go of some her emotions, and everything was fine.

Until one day.

* * *

It was around the beginning of the fourth month when the Titans got the call; Mumbo was robbing a bank.

"Here, pick a card." Mumbo said as he showed the team a deck of cards, and proceeded to throw their sharp edge at them.

They all ducked, with Raven flying away to the sidelines. He was a really lame villain, almost an irritating nuisance to deal with, rather than to actually be fighting against. Raven thought she could hit him something real quick, with the other's following her and get out of there.

"You there, blue one. You seem different from the last time we met; I missed you as my assistant." He said when he noticed Raven. "I have been practicing my magic…."

"Azarath, mentrion, zi—"

"—Mumbo jumbo!" He shouted over her spell.

Her spell was interrupted as a flock of doves surrounded her. He turned a nearby table into a hundred doves. They swarm around Raven as they peck at her. They soon disappeared and they weren't very harmless, but nonetheless Raven fell down in a moment of weakness from the birds, with scratch marks around her body. She slowly got up to recovered as the other's assembled to attack Mumbo.

However, Garfield's attention got diverted.

Too worried about Raven, despite the fact that she was making a quick recovery from a gimmicky magic trick, he rushed over to her side.

"Are you alright?" He asked, as he checked for bruises or swelling around her arms and legs.

"Yes, I'm fine." She said. "I'll be fine, let me just rest a bit. Go; help the team."

"No, you hit the ground pretty hard, and I can't focus on fighting Mumbo knowing that you're hurt." He said, still searching for bruises and swellings. She pushed his hands away.

"Go! Forget me. You know I can heal myself. Why are you so worried? You've never been worried about me before." She said, trying to hide the pain in her voice, because she was healing herself at the moment.

"You've never been pregnant before. I'm not just worried about you; I know you can take a beating. I'm worried about the baby, because their defenseless, just lying there in your stomach." He said.

"The baby is fine. Go!" She said pointing towards the battle. "Look! Both Robin and Starfire have been taken out, and Cyborg is struggling to stay in. They need you. Go!"

"No! I can't fight now with you here. He could strike you again while you're down, so I need to stay here and protect both you and the baby." He said pointing to her stomach. She couldn't argue with him any further, it was pointless.

"Beast Boy! Come on! We need you!" Robin shouted as he was struggling to get up from the floor and he could see Mumbo was gaining the advantage. "Forget Raven! She can heal herself!" Garfield ignored him. "Beast Boy! You listen to me when I give you an order!"

"Robin says to go, so go!" Raven said looking into Garfield's eyes. "Forget me."

"No, I won't." He said, as he continued to make sure she was healing alright.

Although he was doing a pretty stupid thing, that was forgetting the team, putting them in danger, allowing the villain to get away; it was somehow noble, in Raven's mind. The only other time she could remember someone staying by her side, despite the danger it gave them, was when the team helped defeat her father.

Even though she was only injured a little, and needed no more time to recover then when someone gets a paper cut, he still felt obligated to protect his family. She didn't get up to go fight again, despite her being healed. She didn't want Garfield to worry about her safety.

Eventually, Starfire got up again and blasted a star bolt right into Mumbo's wand, preventing him from performing magic. Cyborg then took him out with his sonic cannon. Mumbo was defeated, arrested, and all was well.

But it wasn't.

As the team was preparing to leave, Robin walked over to where the Logan's were standing. He broke up the little love fest they had going on.

"We need to talk." Robin said, as Garfield's face sunk; he was in trouble.

* * *

That afternoon the team was gathered in a circle around the perpetrators; the Logan's. Raven was sitting down on the couch, while Garfield stood up, as if to try to take responsibility for her having the baby _period_. That, her being pregnant was all _his_ doing and she didn't have any part in the process. Cyborg and Starfire were standing off to the side, preparing to listen to Robin's lecture, even though they weren't in trouble.

Robin crossed his arms with a livid stare. Garfield promised Raven that she wouldn't regret this, and he was not one to break promises.

"You put us all in danger." Robin said.

"I know." Garfield admitted.

"Raven was fine…."

"I know….."

"You cannot disobey an order when I give it to you….."

"I know…."

"Otherwise we distract ourselves from the villain, and they could get away…"

"I know…."

"Mumbo _almost_ got away…."

"I know…."

"And yet you stood by there with Raven…."

"I know!" Garfield shouted.

"Then why did you do it?" Robin asked.

"Because," Garfield started. "As you may not know, Raven is pregnant, and I was worried for the safety of the baby. Even if I did come back, I probably would have been distracted by the fact that Raven was sitting there, trying to heal herself, defenseless."

"Raven can take care of herself—"

"I know that too, yet I can't help but feel obligated to protect my family. Because that's what we're doing Robin; starting a family." He said with a smile. N

ow he was just getting under Robin's skin by pointing out that Raven was able to get pregnant before Starfire. Starfire didn't pay attention to that remark. Robin's fury grew.

"Well, now see, this is what happens when you guys decided to keep the baby," He said, trying to remain calm, hiding the anger in his voice. "Now, you leave me no choice."

Raven and Garfield gave each other a fearful look.

"What?" Raven asked.

"Rae, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to take a leave of absence. You are in no condition to be fighting, I am even surprised you lasted this long. I was afraid I was going to tell you this one day, but until that child is born, or until that child is old enough, you can't fight anymore." Robin said.

Even though this was a sort of revenge for him, he didn't like giving out the sentence. It was logical; after all, she must have known that she would have had to stop fighting at one point. If not, this was a wakeup call to her.

"Robin, you can't do that." Raven said. She wasn't angry, but sad. "I am still perfectly capable of fighting for another three months. I didn't expect to get the boot from the team this early."

"It's not about you fighting; it's about Beast Boy getting distracted. This was just Mumbo; what happens when there is a major bad guy? What if you get hurt then and Beast Boy gets distracted and puts the team in danger? No, I can't have that." He said.

It sounded all logical to her, but yet she didn't want to stop fighting, because it was a way of her releasing her emotions. She also felt abandoned by this decision.

"You can't just decide a major decision, that's not fair." Raven said, trying to get Garfield to say something during all this. However, he didn't seem to object to Robin's decision, and this frightened Raven.

"Okay, let's take a vote then, since it affects everyone." Robin said. Even though he didn't mean for it, this remark made Raven feel guilty, for she didn't ask the team for their permission about her keeping the baby. "All in favor of Raven taking a leave of absence, raise your hand." He raised his hand.

Just as Robin raised his hand, Raven turned towards Starfire and saw her hand raised. Feeling betrayed, she turned to the other side and saw Cyborg's hand raised, as he was mouthing 'sorry' to her. Again, feeling deceived, she looked towards her husband, who very hesitating raised his hand, with him trying to avoid eye contact while doing so.

"Then, it's settled." Robin said as they all lowered their hands. That was it; that was Robin's chance to punish Raven. Even though Robin didn't see it that way, Raven sure did, and she stared deep into Robin's eyes, which were hidden behind his mask.

"Well, then." She said. She turned to face Starfire and Cyborg, who couldn't look at her in the eyes. "If that's how everyone feels, I must satisfy their wishes." Raven stood up to go to her room, keeping both hands resting on her belly, as if to prove something.

"Raven…" Starfire said, but Raven was already out of the room. She didn't want to hear it.

"Did you have to embarrass her?" Garfield said calmingly, breaking the silence.

"I didn't mean too, but it was for her own good." Robin said. "You're the one who is to blame, anyway, not me. I'm just removing the distraction."

"I know." Garfield said, looking down to his thumbs. "I know."

"It'll be fine." Robin said to Garfield in more a friendly matter. He didn't want any bad feelings toward either one of them. He wanted to end this fight just as much as they did, but god damn it, he was a leader first and a friend second. Something Starfire wanted to work on. "She can meditate. She'll have the whole Tower to herself and nobody would disturb her…."

"I appreciated what you're saying, Robin, but I have a feeling she doesn't see it that way." He said as he stood up. "Don't worry about our dinner; we won't be eating here." Just as he was about to walk away, the kitchen sink was surrounded by black energy, and the faucets began to turned on, flooding the sink. "Shit." He whispered as he ran out of the room. Cyborg tried to turn the faucet off, but he couldn't overcome the black energy.

* * *

"Raven?" Garfield said as he walked into a room where all of Raven's books were floating in the air. She wasn't doing anything; she was merely sitting in the lotus position, floating above her bed, however Garfield could see the tears slowly dripping down her face.

"I'm f-fine, Garfield." She said, trying to hide her not so subtle tears. She brushed away the layer of tears on her cheeks. She opened her eyes to see a somber looking Garfield. "I'm fine." She said calmingly. She stopped crying, as if she ordered her body to do so on command. The books in their room were still floating, but Garfield guessed that the faucet stopped.

"Raven, I'm sorry…"

"Then why did you kick me off the team?" She said, still hovering above her bed, as if she wanted to feel higher than him in some way.

"We didn't—I didn't…..you're not kicked off the team, just until—"

"The child is born."

"Right and—"

"And raise them to a point where I can trust someone with them."

"Right." He said, but she wasn't buying it, even though _she_ just explained it to _him_. "I think, I think it's a good thing, because you then have more time meditating. Plus, you'll get the Tower to yourself, and—you always wanted to be left alone, so….."

She didn't say anything; she looked down sadly. The way he organized his words wasn't helping.

"No, no, you won't be alone…because….because…." He said as he walked over to her hovering body, and placed a hand on her stomach. "Because you'll have him or her. This can be a time for you to start nesting and preparing. I know you weren't expecting this so early, but now you see Raven, you'll never be alone. Something I think you secretly fear. There is going to be someone soon who will always look up to you."

She smiled as he kissed her stomach, and she slowly got out of her position and stood in front of him, hand in hand. It was enough encouragement for now. The floating books quietly went back to their proper spots on the shelves.

All was quiet.

* * *

The fifth month came with Raven gaining more weight than expected. Or at least _she_ expected, since she had tried to be eating healthy. However, certain cravings, such as rich chocolates and greasy fast food meals had kept her from her initial goal. She looked like she was eight months pregnant instead of five months, but she knew the baby was healthy, she could sense it.

The baby did do one thing right, in her mind at least; the baby made Raven just despise the smell and taste of tofu. She hated tofu before, but now she couldn't be in the same room with tofu without the need of vomiting. Tofu barely had a smell, but her smelling senses could pick up that molding flavor twenty yards away.

This meant, Garfield had to eat without Raven, or he had to eat something other than tofu that day. If he kissed her after eating tofu, she would vomit afterward. To Garfield, this was a sacrifice in itself. Before, it was Raven who had to make sacrifices for the baby, and do things a certain way, now it was Garfield's turn.

He loved to have meals with Raven, one of the first dates they had was her trying tofu and her trying to get him to drink milk. At the time, it wasn't funny, but in hindsight, it was a memory. Now, _this_ baby was rejecting their meal time. It was almost hard for him not to be offended, because the baby was rejecting _his_ foods while at the same time just _loving_ mommy's food.

"So, you say that Earth babies give you cravings, and they also make you dislike certain foods?" Starfire asked one day while they were in the training room.

Even though Raven wasn't fighting, she still wanted to keep up with her training; to keep herself focused. Starfire was practicing her star bolts on a moving target. Raven was trying to keep a supply of dummies still in the air while at the same time take shot at a target with her powers.

She still wore her loose long sleeve, dark blue shirt, with a long, flowing, light blue skirt that went down to her knees. Starfire seemed to ask more and more questions each time they would meet. Well, it wasn't new, but something about her asking all those questions about things she _claims_ she already knows just struck Raven the wrong way.

"Yes; I imagine your race tends to do pregnancies differently." Raven said, trying to concentrate on the target she was supposed to fire at it.

Even though it was a very easy exercise, she wanted to keep her powers in check, so that she was ready for anything. These simple exercises also helped her deal with the fact that she couldn't fight on the team. Even though she had complained a lot that she would like to be left alone, that was only because she was _constantly_ surrounded by people.

Now that she had the Tower to herself sometimes she would get, as much as she hated to admit it, lonely. Even though there was a child inside of her, it sometimes wasn't enough to move on when she finished meditating, and had hours to kill in an empty building.

"Well, I don't know…nobody has ever explained to me on my planet how….pregnancies work." Starfire admitted.

"Really?" Raven replied as she stopped her concentration.

"I mean, when I hit…..pu-ber-ty, you know, when I had that zit, I did not know what to expect. Nobody had told me about it. Not even Galfore, and he was my caretaker. He was even embarrassed to talk about 'the birds and the bees' to me." She glanced down. "My mother and father were rather busy with the kingdom and didn't leave much time to talk to me. I also had never seen a pregnant woman, I was a sheltered child; my own mother gave birth to all her children before I developed a memory."

"So, you don't know what to expect if you become pregnant? What about raising the child?" Raven asked curiously. "Because I have to read up on how to raise a child that will be part Demon, on what to expect and so forth. Do you know how to raise a Tamaranean? Are they similar to humans?"

"…I actually never thought about that. No; I wouldn't know the first thing on what to do with a Tamaranean baby. I just only have dreamt about being a mother." She said as she tried to get back to her training. "I know a lot about Tamaranean culture, but a baby is a different story."

"Starfire, you don't have to raise a Tamaranean." Raven said, trying to make her feel better as she believed she accidently made Starfire feel bad.

"What do you mean?" She asked in total disbelief.

"There's this thing on Earth…." Raven tried to explain. How can she explain, Starfire had her set heart on raising a child she and Robin would created? "…Where you take a child and raised them, when their parents cannot raise them. It's called adoption."

"I know very little about 'adoption'. Why can't Earth parents raise these children?"

"Because the parents are either dead…"

"Oh."

"Or the parents were not raising them right, and so the government took the children away from those parents and have them placed in better homes. Or," She said as she looked down to her belly. "Or, they are the type of people who can't raise a child, but they don't choose abortion. So, they decide to give the child away to a couple who can and want to raise a child." She looked back up to Starfire.

"Why did you look down at your belly?" She asked. "Are you thinking about….."

"No," She said as she chuckled a little. "No. _No one_ can raise this child _except_ me because it would be part Demon. Garfield and I already made that decision. No; I looked down because when I got pregnant, I _felt_ like that kind of couple."

"What kind of couple?" She asked.

"Well, sometimes teen girls on Earth get pregnant, before they are in a stable relationship. So, since they weren't expecting this, 'they', meaning the girl's parents, not the boy. Well, sometimes the boy. They have to decide what to do with the baby." She said as she named the choices off her fingers. "Keep it; but that has its own consequences. Adoption; but it's really hard to give a baby away after the mother delivers them because she feels a bond with them immediately. Or, the most controversial, abortion."

"Are those the only choices?" She asked.

"Well, it varies, but mostly yes, those are the only choices. All I'm saying is that I _felt_ like a teenage girl, who was making a tough decision. I had to decide if I wanted to keep this, or do the third option. That I would get in trouble with my mother—"

"Does your mother know?" Starfire suddenly asked. Raven stopped talking and stared surprising at Starfire. "Well, is your mother alive—?"

"—Yes." She said.

"Well?" Starfire asked. "You haven't told her?"

"I-I haven't found the time—" She lied.

"Raven it's been five months, and you have had the Tower to yourself for many hours on an average day—"

"—Starfire, it's complicated." Raven interrupted. Starfire could see that it wasn't an easy topic for her; she waited for Raven to continue, Raven was trapped. "Well, I mean, I just can't tell her. She wouldn't understand."

"Now, _I_ don't understand. She is your mother. Wouldn't she be happy about—"

"Robin is your husband, so doesn't he tell you about the horrible things I am doing—"

"Yes, but then I lock him out of our room, making him sleep on the couch." Starfire said.

"Well, I'm afraid Arella, my mother, will be just like Robin." She said with concern.

"Oh." Starfire said. She began to raise her voice. "But you don't know that. Maybe she will understand. She carried you when _she_ had a chance to get an 'a-bor-tion'. You say that you have to read on about how to raise a child born part Demon, who better then to ask your mother who had raised you."

"Well, technically the Monks raised me—"

"Raven. I never had a chance to say goodbye to my mother and father. Nonetheless ask for help from them, but you have a chance!" Starfire said.

She left Raven to her training. She was angry; angry that Raven had a chance now to build a relationship with her mother as Starfire couldn't have done with her own, and she wasn't taking the opportunity.

"I'm sorry." Raven said to the now empty room.

* * *

'_Hello Arella, mother. You'll never guess what has happened to me',_ she thought as she was trying to figure out how to tell her mother. _No, that's too dramatic. Maybe I should just tell her first that I got married and then…...Oh, yes, I should tell her _that_ first. Shit. 'So mother, how have you been? Me? Oh, you know after Trigon was destroyed, I decided to go against what I was taught in my entire childhood and fell in love and got pregnant...'. Oh, just can't wait for that._

One night during her sixth month, a week or so after their first anniversary, while Garfield was preparing for bed in the bathroom, Raven was preparing to travel to Azarath. She formed a circle with her enchantment dust, and lit a series of candles.

"Uh, Raven, what's going on?" Garfield asked as he got out of the bathroom, and saw the witchcraft she was creating. She didn't want to tell him until the last minute, in case he would talk her out of it over the same fears that she had.

"I'm going to Azarath," She said as she walked over to him. He only had on sweat pants. She put on her cloak. "I need to tell my mother about the baby. I haven't even told her about our marriage."

"Didn't you promise that you would have a good relationship with your mother?" He said. He was quoting her one time when they were dating. She signed; how can he remember those little things that she said while at the same time forget to do his chores around the Tower?

"I do have a good relationship, it's just that I don't see her that often. That's why I am going now. I should have told her when I found out." She quickly kissed him goodbye. "I shouldn't have waited so late; in my current condition, something might happen to me. But I must go, because I do not think I would see her again for a long time."

"And you just decided to bring up this to me at the last minute?" He asked, disrupt over her sudden departure, she gave him a guilty look and said nothing. "Can I come with you?" He said after a momentary silence.

Raven looked at him surprisingly. "You want to come? Really? I mean, I don't know if I can break the seal of Azarath to allow a stranger in."

"You threatened to send me to another dimension before."

"Well, those were just threats." She said. His ears and face sunk from disappointment. She looked over to where the circle was and looked back at him. "Azarath is a peaceful place, if you so much as show any kind of intimidation to them, they will banish you—"

"—Well that doesn't so sound bad—"

"—into purgatory."

"Oh." He said. He raised his ears. "But if I was on my best behavior, and you were able to break the seal for a stranger, can I come? I mean, this is your mother, Raven. She is _now_ my mother. I should be able to go…..please."

"Okay, you can come." She said reluctantly. She really wanted to be alone with her mother for this, but she figured she would have to prove to her mother that she _did_ find a good man and that this particular baby was wanted; granted it took some time for it to be wanted, but wanted nonetheless. "But remember; do not display your powers in any way. You probably won't see anyone else there, except her, but they could be watching us. I _know_ they'll be watching you; you're green."

"Well, you married me—" He said in a jokingly manner.

"—No, I mean, they will question your skin color. They might think you are a Demon from an alien planet or something." She said. He quickly went back into the bathroom to get dressed in his uniform, as she packed a couple of things in her small purple purse, and roped it around her neck underneath her cloak. The purse stored more enchantment dusk to use for the task of breaking the seal to let Garfield in.

"Okay, I'm ready." He said, coming out of the bathroom. "Do I need to bring anything?"

"No, don't bring anything. I am already going to break the seal for a stranger; I do not need you to make it _more_ difficult by bringing a foreign object." She said, sitting in lotus position inside the enchantment circle.

"What about you, and that purse?" He said.

"You forget I am from Azarath; I _can_ bring a foreign object in. Technically, _you_ are considered my foreign object too." She said. He walked inside her circle as the candles burn brighter. "Sit in a lotus position, like this. Put your arms out towards me, and when I say so, you need to repeat what I say."

"Will it hurt?" He asked in concern. "Will it hurt the baby; you said earlier that it might—"

"No, I meant that _I_ might be exhausted from the trip. The baby will be fine. It _might_ sting, but you _must_ hold onto me. Now close your eyes." She and Garfield both closed their eyes. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…"

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…."

"…..Carazon, rakashas, endere…"

"…..Carazon, rakashas, endere…"

"…..Vaserix, endrien, azararth….."

"…..Vaserix, endrien, azararth….."

"…Azarath, AZARATH!"

"…Azarath, AZARATH!"

* * *

After Garfield spoke the last line, he couldn't remember what happened next. It felt like he went inside a washing machine, right after eating ice cream, took a few trips inside it, and then had just come out. He did remember a white light, and then he was there, in _Azarath_, sick to his stomach.

To him, Azarath was everything he heard in Raven's stories; golden skies, brass skyscrapers that seem so futuristic and large walkways between each skyscraper, so that one could travel more easily throughout the day. She was still holding onto his arms, as they descended further down into the city.

Raven was right, nobody was out. Nevertheless, she wouldn't let go of his arm as they walked. She wanted to show, whoever was watching them that he came in peace, by claiming Garfield as her own. Nobody would dare strike her. However, she didn't know exactly how _many_ were left. Despite the fact that Azarath was saved after Trigon was defeated, there were still casualties when Trigon did take over. Fortunately her mother wasn't one of them; unfortunately, a lot of the Monks she had grown up with were.

"Mother should be up here, grab hold of me, I _do not_ want you to fly." Raven said. She lifted Garfield into the air, and landed at a nearby balcony with a flock of doves around. "I would say be yourself, but try not to be _too_ much of yourself." She could hear footsteps approaching from the hall inside. She hid her stomach with her cloak. Out walked a white robed figure, who hid her violet hair around her hood. She too had violet eyes, but she had peach skin rather than gray skin.

"My child, what brings you here?" The figure said. She was neither surprised nor upset, just calm. She maintained her distance, as she pet one of her doves. "I do not believe Earth is in any danger."

"No, no, it's not." Raven said while keeping her cloak close. She then displayed Garfield to her mother. "Arella, mother, this is Garfield. However, he is called Beast Boy by everyone else."

Garfield wanted to give Arella a handshake, or a hug, but felt it was inappropriate at the moment as Arella stared down at the green man with suspicion.

"He's on the team I found long ago when I ran away from Azarath. He helped me beat Trigon. He got sick when he was a young boy, and his parents gave him medicine. However, not only did he turn green because of the medicine, but he also obtained the power to transform into any animal with it. That's why his ears are pointy." Raven explained.

Arella nodded towards Garfield, but did not move any closer. Raven was right; Arella probably thought that he was a Demon of some kind. Garfield, however, moved forward towards her, as the doves greeted his presence. They piled onto him, as he tried to pet every single one. Arella smiled a bit.

"Mother, I had been dating him for years now. And we had gotten married around a year ago," Raven said. Arella nodded, as she was probably expecting to hear this after seeing the green man; after all, this was the first time Raven had ever brought a stranger to Azarath. Raven looked into her eyes. "I love him, mother." Raven admitted. "Even though I shouldn't."

"I can tell, child. I sense your aura to be a lot calmer then the last time you visited me," Arella said, as she kept stroking her dove, she was amused by her own doves being friendly to an outsider. She sensed that he had a kind heart, but she still didn't come any closer. "You also have something else to show me as well? I can sense it in your presences. Come on, child, don't be shy."

With that, Raven reluctantly opened up her cloak to reveal the big bump on her stomach. Raven was expecting a look of disappointment, or at least disbelief, but Arella maintained her composure. Arella looked towards Garfield then back to Raven, and Raven nodded.

"We didn't plan this, but it happened. I know I wasn't supposed to…but I got married, and a new emotion emerged from that. We were very careful, but one night, I went too far. It took a long time for me to decide what to do. But in the end, I decided to keep it," Raven said as she turn towards Garfield. "And he is beyond happy. I figured you should know, because this will be the first quarter born Demon, and you have the right to know."

"Yes, I do." Arella said bluntly. She walked closer to Garfield, as he was trying not to frighten the friendly birds that surrounded him, for fear of insulting Arella. "Garfield, as she calls you, can you demonstrate your powers?"

Garfield looked towards Raven, and she nodded in approval. He turned into a dove of the same size and shape as the other doves. Arella put her finger out to the green dove, and he flew onto it. She then petted the strange creature. He was _definitely_ human, as she could sense it in his aura, despite his animal form for the moment.

"You say that Garfield is glad to have a child?" She asked while she continued to stroke his feathers. He began cooing, as he felt a mother's touch for the first time in a long time.

"Yes, in fact _I_ was the one who was first unhappy. But now, I am glad we're having this child." Raven said. She put her hands over her belly to show her mother her willingness to change her attitude. "I know what the Monks said, trust me, those discussions keep running through my head, but I thought it can't all be dangerous because—"

"I had you." She said softly. She pushed the green dove up into the air, and Garfield flew down beside Raven, morphing back to normal. She walked only a little closer to them, but still maintained a few feet between them. "I never did like all that the Monks told you. At times, they made you sound like a monster, but I did not have a choice to interfere. I expect you know the risks just I had known the risks."

"I do, Arella." Raven said. She alternated her mother's name sometimes, just as she would do with Garfield's name. Arella smiled as she saw Garfield grab onto Raven's arms.

"But I also expect you to raise this child like you were raised." She said, with her smile fading. "I know you would want your child to be raised differently, but I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter."

"I can't just—" Raven started.

"No." Arella said. "I won't hear any excuses, child. You could put your world in danger if you don't." She didn't raise her voice, but simply changed her tone a little. Raven didn't say anything, she now was feeling the disappointment she had expected. Garfield stepped forward towards Arella.

"Arella—" He said. "Or, mother. Can I call you that?"

"Don't." Raven whispered, she felt like she was a little kid, disobeying her mother and didn't want to get in further trouble.

"If you wish," Arella said. "But you barely know me."

"Do we have your blessings?" He asked. "I know you just met me, but—"

"Child, anyone who was able to changed Raven's mind about marriage, and her willingness to love, on her own, must be special. Love is a special thing, and I have always prayed that Raven would experience it, despite her nature and despite what the Monks said." She said. She put her hand out and one of her doves flew to it. "You have my blessings on the marriage. I have never seen such a man like you, Garfield, but that is probably because I've lived here for so many years. As for this child, I must warn Raven to raise this child as the Monks had raised her. But I do hope you have a better relationship with them, then you did with me."

"Mother…" Raven said sadly.

"Raven, the Monks taught you well. I wish I was there more. It's not your fault. It's not mine either; it's just how the way it was, but I do hope you don't make the same mistakes as I did. The Monks cannot stop you now. Nonetheless, I think you won't have any trouble in that case." She glanced at Garfield. "If you give a strict upbringing to this child like the Monks gave you, I will give you my blessings."

"You're-you're not mad?" Garfield asked.

"Why should I be mad? What's done is done. It would be pointless." Arella said as she petted her dove.

"You definitely are your mother's daughter." Garfield whispered to Raven.

"If it were someone else, I might be concern." Arella said. She looked over to the setting sun, which was not visible as far as Garfield could see. "It's getting late."

"I know." Raven said. She took Garfield's hand as she was turning around.

"You know you will always have a home here, child, but you can only stay for so long." Arella said to Raven. She glanced over to Garfield. "I thought there weren't any good Earth men. Thank you for proving me wrong, now I know Earth is truly a better place."

Garfield blushed, as Raven was pulling him away. It had been a long time since he had seen his own mother, or felt her warm comfort. He felt like he was cheating on his mother, by being warm to Arella, nonetheless he waved goodbye to Arella.

* * *

After he waved goodbye, all he could remember was a flash of white light as her image faded. He was then back in their room, with Raven kneeling over the bed, as the journey made her sick to her stomach. She recovered, and stood up again.

"Well," She said as she was trying to catch some air. "What, what did you think about her? I know she puts things a little bluntly, but that's how they are in Azarath."

"Well, she is definitely your mother." Garfield said; Raven looked down. "I meant that as a compliment. She seems like my mother, but different. Or maybe she isn't anything like my mother, but I feel just as comfortable with her as I do with my own mother. I can't explain it."

"You never can." She said.

"Can I go back again sometime?" He asked.

She was not expecting this, but then she was not expecting him to _go_ to Azarath in the first place. She just wanted to tell her mother the updates on her life, and some advice on how to raise the child.

It was also nice to know that her mother gave her a blessing on both the marriage and the pregnancy. She didn't know what to say. She could only pretend she didn't hear him as she was getting ready for bed. She slipped off her cloak and shirt.

"Raven, didn't you hear me? I asked you if I can go back." Garfield asked. Raven turned to him.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Garfield couldn't say anything at that point. "You see, I broke the seal to allow you to come in. Then I closed it, before we entered Azarath. Then I had to do the same thing again, when we went the other way. I'm afraid of breaking that seal so many times for strangers. Because it might weaken the protected shied for Azarath. It could endanger the people of Azarath from an attack."

"But Trigon is—"

"I know, but there are more enemies of Azarath then you know. Trigon had more children than just me. And I don't know how many." Raven said. She glanced at Garfield's sad expression. "I don't mean to disappoint you. Maybe in the future, when the child is bigger. But not anytime soon."

"So, there's hope." He said.

"She has never given me the unconditional love that you are trying to seek. She may love me, but not as much as I wish she would." She said sadly.

"I don't need unconditional love. I just…" He said hesitantly. "…..would like to call someone 'mother' again. Although, I called mine 'mommy'. But she was taken away from me too early. You said yourself Rae, that she felt guilty throughout your childhood. Maybe she loves _you_, but hates the fact that your father is Trigon. Hates the fact that she couldn't give you a better life. Besides," He said as he crawled into bed, and was inviting her to join him. "Aren't you your own mother's daughter? You didn't love me fully when you first said you did."

"That's true." She said, as she crawled into bed. "But she's not half Demon, she is fully human, she doesn't have an excuse."

_I won't hear any excuses, child. You could put your world in danger if you don't,_ Arella's voice ranged into Raven's ears as she fell asleep. She would have to tell Garfield sooner or later, what she meant, before the baby was born.

I PROBABLY SHOULD JUST CLEAR SOMETHING UP, I AM PRO-CHOICE, AND SO THIS ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SOME KIND OF SUBTLE ANTI-ABORTION MESSAGE BEHIND IT. IT WAS JUST PART OF THE STORY, LIKE ANY OTHER GIRL CAUGHT IN THIS SITUATION. I'M NOT SAYING SOMEONE WHO IS PRO-LIFE IS WRONG, I UNDERSTAND THEIR POSITION, I'M JUST SAYING THAT I'M NOT TRYING TO 'BRAINWASH' ANYONE WITH 'HIDDEN' MESSAGES. THAT'S ALL.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.


	6. Tender Moments and Then There's Robin

WAS WORKING ON AN ESSAY FRIDAY WHICH EXPLAINS THE DELAY, BUT HERE IT IS.

The seventh month came, with Raven gaining about twelve pounds. It was becoming uncomfortable to walk around with a ravaging belly that was causing her balancing issues. It was one of those Mondays, where crime took a break, but there was still a feeling of uneasiness in the city. Raven was hovering behind the couch in the living room, as she was trying to meditate. Starfire and Robin were off shopping for new bed sheets. Garfield had this time to train in the empty training room with Cyborg playing on the Gamestation in the living.

"Oh, yeah. Come, on, just a little further…." Cyborg was muttering to himself as he pressed the buttons on the controller, twisting and turning it to make it react faster. "I can win this race…."

Raven felt pain in her abdomen. It passed; she went back to her meditation.

"Yeah! Second place, I can make it…..and when I do, I will finally get that achievement!..." Cyborg ranted on.

Again, Raven felt this stinging sensation in her belly. But it wasn't stinging; it was more like bees buzzing inside her. It didn't hurt, but it was a bit of a disturbance in her system.

"…What? No…I'm in FOURTH place now! That stupid little..." Cyborg ranted.

It was a strange feeling, so much so that Raven couldn't meditate properly. She broke her concentration so that she could sense what was wrong with her body.

"The baby." She said, gasping with joy.

"What?" Cyborg said, as he put the game on paused. Anytime Raven broke her meditation, something was up, because she wouldn't break it just for any little thing.

"Nothing," She said, kind of amused with herself. "It's just that the baby is starting to kick."

"Ooooooh." Cyborg said, turning around to face Raven. "Can I feel?"

"You want to feel the baby?" She said, surprised, staring at his strange enthusiasm. Out of all the Titans, he didn't ever chime into any of the arguments they had over the course of her pregnancy. Even though he was excited when she first announced it, he had been quiet throughout the months, which was strange since he was usually the most outspoken of them all, besides Garfield. "I didn't think you approved of my decision, you have been so quiet these last few months."

"Well, that was mostly to keep the peace between you guys," He said. He padded a seat next to him, inviting her to the couch. "I didn't want to argue with Robin. I also didn't want Starfire and Beast Boy to drag me into any shopping for the baby. I _knew_ Starfire would try to drag me to go shopping. I just kinda wanted to stay out of it all."

"So," She said, getting up to go sit on the couch. She looked down at her belly and back up to him. "You approve?"

"Raven, I taught you how to fix a car, and you're not the mechanic type _at all_," He said, as she seated herself next to him. "I think a baby will be about the same learning experience. Probably easier even." He said jokingly.

"You're comparing my child to a car? Truly, you're a poet." Raven said sarcastically.

"Come on, Raven, you know what I am saying." He said. She sighed, not convinced by his words. He gracefully put his hand over her belly, she didn't object to his hand. After an awkward couple minute or so, he could feel a faint hint of movement. "My little mechanic is growing up." He said. She smiled, as she felt like it was her older brother giving her some sort of comfort. She wished Cyborg could have been her brother, her childhood would have been much happier. "But don't tell anyone else; I _really_ don't want to go baby shopping. It would be fun to have a kid running around here."

She sighed, but less dreadful this time.

"I wish more girls were as quiet as you." He said.

"You do realize I talk more when I am with Beast Boy. So, I'm just like any other girl you'll ever meet."

"No, no, you are _nothing_ like the girls I date. They are more open, but that's just the problem, their _too_ open. No, I just wish sometimes they could be as quiet as you, not exactly as quiet as _you_, but quiet nonetheless." He went back to his controller, and pressed the paused button to play his game.

"Well, now you ask too much. At first you want girls to be outgoing, but then you complain they talk too much, and so you wish they would be quiet. Just not as quiet as myself. You complain that there aren't any good women out there, and that they create too much drama. Maybe _you're_ the one who has too much drama going on in his life." She said.

"Could be, but I rather play the field until I'm tired then settle for less. I mean, I _am_ half machine." He said, not as enthusiastic as before with bringing up his cyborg downfalls.

She sighed, again less dreadful this time.

* * *

A week passed by, as Raven was getting used to the baby making his or her presences known. The baby already made their presence known through their energy, but it was the first time that she could feel the baby _physically_.

She could still hear her mother's voice warning her about the consequences of a strict upbringing, _I won't hear any excuses, child. You could put your world in danger if you don't_. She didn't want to tell Garfield about the certain upbringing she would have to do just yet, but she knew she would have to tell him soon.

She was walking down the hallway to the main room when she overheard shouting from the door. She used her black energy to open it slightly.

"….I really don't know why you continue to argue with me?" Starfire said. She was once again arguing with Robin over her choice to support Raven. Robin should have known by now that he had lost in this battle, with Raven being seven months, or thirty-one weeks in, and still Robin insisted to change Star's mind. "Why do you continue to belittle me on my reasons for giving Raven support?"

"I have told you time and time again, that Raven—" Robin said.

"—is endangering the world with that baby." Starfire finished for him. "I have heard it all before—"

"—And I have heard your arguments all before—"

"—So why do you continue to argue with me?" She said.

"Because!" He shouted. "Because, for the first time, you disagree with me on an important issue—"

"—And doesn't your Earthly vows say 'For better or for worse', well Robin, this is the worse! Do you hear me Robin! Or should I say Dick?" Starfire said.

Robin gave her a cold stare; Starfire knew what to say to get under Robin's skin.

"I told you to never call me Dick, that name is dead to me." Robin said coldly. He kept his distance away from her to the kitchen, as he was afraid he would do something that he would regret later. Starfire saw that this upset Robin a little too much.

"Robin, I don't want to fight," She said calmingly, as she started to follow him. "Raven needs my help, whether she wants to admit it or not."

"But I don't understand why you have to talk about the baby sometimes when we're alone. I don't need to be reminded."

"But you do need to be reminded. Because, believe it or not, for once, you're not in control of a situation. And the more I talk about it, the more you might get used to the idea. Because in a couple more months or so, there will be a new person in our lives." Starfire said.

"What I don't understand is why you refer to this as your 'only chance'?" Robin asked, looking into her eyes. She moved closer to him until she was in his face. "Why?"

"Robin, you know why." Starfire said, grabbing his hands. "You don't want to admit, but you'll have to accept the truth sooner or later; I can't get pregnant by you." Robin let go of her hands.

"No, there is way. We can keep trying." Robin said, refusing to listen to her reasons.

"We have, and the results are that I just can't; at least by a human touch." She said. "Raven is giving _me_ a gift, by experiencing motherhood—"

"—What if she doesn't need your help? _Her_ child won't be the same as a child of your own." Robin said.

"She will, whether she knows that or not. She didn't want this, but I do. She'll be a scared mother, but I'm already prepared to help." She said. Robin didn't say anything; he started to make his way to the hallway. Raven closed the door and moved to the edge of the doorway, hiding. "Robin? Robin—"

"—No, Star. I cannot deal with this right now." He said as he opened up the door and went through it, only looking straight ahead and not around him. As the door closed behind him, he could hear footsteps following him.

"You shouldn't blame this on Starfire." Raven calmly said, as the words sounded like a ghost calling to him. He turned around to look her in the eyes. He wasn't going to be afraid of the empathy in the house; before, he was, but now he was going to stand on his own.

But he also didn't want Raven going to snitch on him to Garfield, even though she would claim to be a strong independent woman. He thought that she had gotten emotionally weakier through these past months, but of course he would _never_ tell anyone that; he wasn't _that_ stupid.

"Raven, you're looking well." He said, trying to lighten the mood.

"You flatter me," She said in her monotone as she gave him an icy stare. She knew what he was thinking, it was basically screaming inside his head. "You shouldn't blame Starfire. She is just trying to be a friend."

"That was something between Starfire and I—"

"Well, _this_ is something between Beast Boy and myself." Raven said, putting a hand over her belly. "Don't lie; that argument out there, plus many others are something that relates to me. And this child."

"Yes." He admitted.

"Well, I know you don't approve of this. I can understand it, but please don't take your anger out on Starfire. _She_ is the best thing that has ever happened to you." She said. Robin didn't say anything. She wanted Robin to know they she knew some of his dirty little secrets. When Robin was having nightmares about Slade, Raven went inside his head to see what Robin was seeing.

While there, she saw a few too many memories that he had.

"You really don't want to argue with her. You want to argue with _me_, but you're afraid I'll go tell Beast Boy, and then he'll hurt you again. Am I right?" Raven said.

"Well—"

"Don't worry about me. You can argue with me all you want. It's pointless though. And I won't tell Beast Boy, unless he happens to overhear our conversation." Robin looked behind him, but it was only a threat. "I can fight my own battles. So, _I'll_ hurt you instead."

"Raven, are you sure you want to start this—"

"I'm not starting anything; I just think you shouldn't be arguing with Starfire when she is just trying to get something out of it that you cannot offer her." She said. "You're jealous that _I'm_ giving her a baby, and you haven't because you can't." Robin didn't say anything; Raven was trying to make Robin hate her, so that he would argue with her instead of Star. "So, fight with me then, but don't take it out on Starfire. After all, she is not the one who did _this_."

"True." Robin said coldly. "She _isn't_ the one who did this."

And with that he walked away. She didn't hear any more fighting from Robin and Starfire about her pregnancy, or as far as she knew. If Robin had something to say to Raven, he would say it to Raven in private, with no one else around, while she commented at his inabilities.

It was funny, at one point she thought she really felt a connection with Robin before she went out with Garfield, but now she could barely be on the same page with him. When there are drastic times, people do show their true colors. Robin was supportive when Trigon took over the world and even saved her from herself, but that was different. Trigon and Slade started that. Raven had started this; and Robin was conflicted between what was good and what was evil. He saw Raven's child evil, because it would come from Trigon and he didn't think Raven or Garfield were in a position to raise it.

And Raven knew this is what he thought. This is what he thought about her and her capabilities. He was also jealous, but he was so convinced that her child would be evil, that he would forget at times that he was jealous.

At times, he didn't even know it himself why he was so against it; it felt like there was this force that told him this was wrong in some way, even though he could trust any of his friend's with his life.

But he didn't trust whatever was inside of Raven.

_I won't hear any excuses, child. You could put your world in danger if you don't_, Raven played again in her head.

* * *

Throughout the months Raven didn't need a hospital to tell her if her baby was doing okay, she could sense it. But whenever she did need technological medical help, the Titans happened to have their very own hospital center in one sector of the Tower. Cyborg installed an ultrasound machine for the baby.

As soon as he was finished, Garfield was anxious to find out the gender of the baby. He dragged Raven over to their E.R.

"Now, this gel will be cold to the touch, so it might sting." Starfire said, as she was preparing to do the sonogram.

Raven lifted up her shirt as Starfire moved the gel around her stomach. Raven was not as anxious to find out the gender of the baby then Garfield, after all, she swore she could have detected little hints of what the baby was. She trust her powers, and believed they had helped her detected any problems with the baby, so she believed that they helped her detect the gender as well.

"Star, you've been moving that thing for five minutes, you haven't said anything yet." Garfield said impatiently, standing by the side.

"I am sorry friend Beast Boy; it is just that I want to make sure everything is alright. We should have done this sooner to catch any problems." Starfire said as she was studying the screen carefully.

"Starfire, I would know if something was wrong with the baby." Raven said.

Starfire ignored her, as she rechecked certain areas around the stomach to make sure everything was alright. "Yes, okay. Congratulations, friends! You will be having a perfectly healthy girl!"

"A girl?" Raven asked calmingly as she looked down with wide eyes. Both Starfire and Garfield were excited and talking over each other.

Raven quietly cleaned herself off. She could have _sworn_ she detected hints of boy, of a male, of a young lad in her belly. And she was happy with her conclusions; but sometimes old wives tales are _just_ old wives tales. She knew that; she knew she shouldn't trust old stories about women who wanted a girl or a boy and did a certain thing, and then got a girl or boy at the end. She knew she shouldn't treat a child differently just because it was not the desired gender she was looking for. She knew, scientifically, that a baby would get its gender as soon as conception happened.

She knew all of this, and yet despite her better judgment, she hoped it would be a boy.

Maybe her powers couldn't do everything; after all, she didn't know _exactly_ if Terra was going to betray them, she was only warned.

Maybe her powers possibly did detect a girl, but she was so prone to believe that it was a boy in the very beginning that she ignored those other signs telling her that it was a girl.

* * *

"Good night." Garfield said as he was about to turn over on the other side of their oval bed to go to sleep. Raven wasn't paying attention, and kept on reading her book, maintaining her composure. "Rae? Rae? Rae?"

"Hmm, what?" She asked, getting out of her trance.

"What's a matter?" Garfield asked, detecting something wrong.

"Nothing." She said in monotone. "Everything is completely fine."

"Well, then that must be a really good book, because you haven't turned a page in the half an hour that you have been reading." Garfield said, now noticing that she was on the same page when she had started reading.

"It's an interesting chapter." She lied.

"Rae….."

"Okay." She said, putting the book down. "I am a bit upset that it's a girl," She said, trying to maintain her monotone voice. "I thought we were going to have a boy."

"You wanted a boy?" He asked surprised.

"Well, this baby obviously means more to you then it does to me. And if I am going to have _one_ child, it might as well be a boy, since that is the desired gender in our culture." She said, trying not to put any emotional emphasize.

"What do you mean, 'desired gender'? Rae, since when have we been the conventional couple?" He asked, almost insulted at the thought, even though it did take her some time to get comfortable with the idea of _holding hands_. "We don't exactly live in the Victorian age—"

"—See? You _have_ learned something from reading—"

"—why would you think it would be better to have a boy?" He asked, ignoring her statement on reading. She looked down at the bump, hidden behind layers of blankets.

"I figured _you_ would want a boy," She admitted. "If this could be the only time I would do this, it might as well be a boy. I mean, isn't that what every father dreams of, to have a son? I almost think Trigon would have gone easier on me if I was his _son_ instead of his _daughter_, since he despises females."

"Not every father dreams of a son." Garfield said, trying to get her eyes to look back up to him. He lifted her chin up, forcing her to stare into his eyes. "Maybe back then, it was for the purposes of having their last name continued, or having their property be kept in the family. But times have changed, and now father's can openly say they would want a daughter instead of a son, because a daughter would remind them of their wife or love one."

"Where are you getting this information? You were never this smart before?" She asked, almost in disbelief that he would say that he was okay with a daughter, and also because of the fact that he was acting rather intelligent at the moment.

"Well, that was you." He said, he blushed. "Remember that one time you went on about the history of women, when I asked you to make me a sandwich? I didn't know that was an insult until later. I just wanted a sandwich. I thought you could make me one." Raven blushed.

"Right." She said, recounting her ramblings that particular day. She was probably the closest thing to a history book for Garfield as far as he was concern. She looked up to him. "So, you're okay with a girl?"

"If it will ease your mind, I personally wanted a girl from the beginning." He said, as he scooted closer to her, and laid his head on the top of her stomach. "Since my mother…lost a girl, this will be kind of like the sister I never had."

"But it will be your daughter." She said.

"Oh, I know. I'm just saying that is why I preferred a girl early on. Maybe that's why I am a ladies' man, and I tried so hard to surround myself with girls." He said, looking up to her from her stomach, with her looking down at him.

"Ladies man?" She asked, but he simply blushed.

The room fell silent. "Is there anything else that has been bothering you?" Garfield finally said after a while.

Raven could hear Arella's voice again, _I won't hear any excuses, child. You could put your world in danger if you don't_. Now was a moment to tell him, otherwise it would come as a shock to him when the baby was born.

"There is something else….." She said.

* * *

The eighth month came with disruptions in Raven's usual routines. She was gaining a couple of pounds each day. Now she was tired in the afternoon and couldn't go to sleep at night. Sometimes Garfield would wake up in the middle of the night to find Raven in her lotus position, meditating. She was becoming more uncomfortable with each passing day.

It became more noticeable to the public, who would question why Raven wasn't on the team anymore, that she was indeed pregnant. The Titans never really made things public to Jump City; that was the reporter's job, and they found out quickly why Raven was no longer visible in the public eye.

Garfield found it easier to relate to Raven; because they both would tell childhood stories to each other every night. If what Raven would say was true, and this was the only pregnancy she would endure, Garfield wanted to savor every moment.

So, he devoted sometime to training in order to get better during combat, which could help the Titans defeat the villain faster and then Garfield could spend more time at the Tower with Raven.

Cyborg still acted indifferent toward both sides of the party. He wouldn't pretend to be against her pregnancy and he wouldn't become excited over little things the baby would do. Only when he would be alone with Raven did he talk about being an Uncle, and would talk about all the little things he would teach that little girl.

Starfire was acting more and more like this was _her_ baby, instead of Raven's. Robin would remind her occasionally that it was not hers. She had done extensive research on Earth babies, until she realized that the baby would be part Demon, too.

Then she had to ask Raven about the nature of raising a part Demon baby, but Raven hesitated to tell Starfire fully what she was entitled to do in terms of a Demon.

Garfield would tell Starfire at times that Raven would talk about it later, when the baby was closer to delivery.

Robin had been trying to ignore Raven and Garfield altogether. It was eating him up inside to be fighting with his friends, but damn it, he didn't trust that child inside of Raven. Maybe it was the side of him that had to be suspicious of anything remotely sounding 'too good to be true'. Maybe it was the side of him that couldn't trust a new member quite so easily as he used too since so many others had betrayed them.

Maybe deep down, he was just jealous, and used a stupid excuse from supporting them. After all, _he_ had pictured Starfire and himself of announcing Star's pregnancy and imagined her belly growing bigger and bigger with each month. It was supposed to be _them_, because _they_ were trying and _they_ wanted it badly; it wasn't supposed to be Raven and Garfield.

Damn it, even Raven herself admitted that she didn't want a baby. But she was keeping her now. Why? Why would Raven change her mind on something she was so dead set against?

The only reason Robin could figure was because the child was manipulating Raven's mind, therefore the child wasn't good. Although, Raven herself wasn't _fully_ human to begin with; Robin could figure it was the Demon side of the child manipulating Raven, and to Robin, that was dangerous.

Of course, he never told his true feelings about it to anyone, other than Starfire. However, even Starfire couldn't fully figure out why Robin was so against this pregnancy. But Raven could figure it out by reading his thoughts, something she was not proud of, but necessary to know what he was thinking; to know if he posed _any_ threat to the baby when she would be born.

So far, he didn't seem to be a threat at the moment, but she kept her eye on him.

"So, have you thought about any names yet?" Starfire asked one morning, to a very tired Raven in the kitchen. "Cause I have got so many, Ghorna, K'iroma, Fabore—"

"Thank you, Starfire, but I think we shall stick to _Earth_ names." Raven said, as she sipped her morning tea.

She tried to enjoy the silence between Starfire's conversations. She loved Starfire to death, but during her uncomfortable condition, Starfire was getting on her nerves a little too easy nowadays.

"What have you planned in terms of birthing? There are so many types to choose from. You know, because I read that a water birth is the most relaxing type. However, I guess depends on the woman, whether she would like to be in water or not. I read at least that it is better than the drugs, because the delivery would be easier than if you were on painkillers. But it is fine if you want to be on the drugs; sometimes women do change their mind during the process; although I hear it still hurts beforehand—"

"I'll be meditating." Raven interrupted rudely. She looked at the defeated Starfire, this time trying to calmly form her words so she wouldn't come off as insensitive again. "It will be a process. Your job will be just to make sure I am comfortable."

"That's it? Just meditating? Although I supposed it will do, for you at least." Starfire said. "It's just that I read that Earth women—"

"Like I said, it will be a process. I do not plan to be hooked up to any machine. Unless necessary" She calmly said. "Not all births are the same."

"Is that birthing process normal for Earth?" Starfire asked.

"Well, in some parts of Earth, it is." She said. She felt some pain in her abdomen, but she knew it wasn't a contraction. She didn't change her facial expression, but she did tremble. Starfire noticed.

"What about—"

"What about what?" Raven interrupted, as Star's voice was starting to get on her nerves with the pain she was experiencing. Starfire's voice was starting to sound like nails on a chalkboard to her. She held onto her back, as she could feel pressure piercing it.

"…About naming your baby," Starfire said, as she was getting more concern with Raven's peculiar attitude. "Raven, do you mind me asking what is wrong?"

"I'm pregnant. I have back pain, abdomen pain, swelling, increased bladder needs, increased moodiness—which means I can't be my chipper-self at the current moment—so as this baby is getting closer and closer to coming out, so will these side effects get more intense." Raven said in her monotone voice. She tried to hide the look of pain on her face.

"Is this normal for all pregnancies?" Starfire asked.

"I don't know about _all_. However, it seems to be around the same thing for most women. Earth women, at least." Raven said. Starfire looked at her in dismay, as she was seeing someone else in pain that she couldn't help. "So, what about that name? You said something about a name? Starfire?"

"Huh? Oh yes." She said, as she snapped out of her trance. "What about naming the baby Terra?"

"What?" Raven snapped at Starfire. She stared at Starfire with fiery.

"Well, it's just that sometimes you call your pregnancy, 'Terra's blessing', and I thought—"

"I sometimes call it 'Terra's curse' too!" She snapped, but then she saw Starfire's reaction. "I'm sorry." She said in her monotone, calming herself down. "I just have a history with Terra, and I don't want to be reminded of her every day. It's enough that Beast Boy still has fond memories of her."

"I didn't mean to offend you." Starfire said apologetically. "Is this how pregnant women act?"

"Sometimes; more often when they are closer to labor." Raven said as she grunted to the pain piercing her back.

"Raven, what would I have to do?" Starfire said hesitantly, afraid of what her responsibilities might enable.

"I'll give you a list of things I need you to do while I'll be in labor. I'll take care of the rest. I don't know when I'll go into labor. Maybe in a month, maybe in six weeks." Raven said. She sipped some of her tea to calm her nerves. "However, the one thing I can tell you right now that must be done is that Robin and Cyborg cannot be anywhere near me during that time."

"Why not?" Starfire asked. "I can understand Robin, but why also Cyborg? He hasn't been that bad."

"He will project a negative atmosphere in the room, whether he knows that or not." Raven said. "No, those boys should be far away from me when I do go into labor."

Part of it was true, Cyborg could unintentionally make Raven feel uncomfortable if he said something wrong, but Raven really wanted Cyborg to have a one-on-one with Robin. If the two were alone enough for long time while she was trying to deliver a baby, Cyborg could probably help prepare Robin for what was to come. She didn't tell all this to Cyborg, of course, because he said he didn't want to be involved with their brawl, but she had a feeling he could talk to Robin.

* * *

The ninth month or the thirty-ninth week came, and past. The fortieth week came, and past. At times Raven thought she was going into labor with the on-coming contractions, but they turned out to be false. She soon became uncomfortable wearing a shirt and skirt, and so changed into a long, purple, muslin dress, in a scooped up neckline and a ribbon separating the bust from her expanding stomach, with hanging sleeves to show off her bare arms.

"It's been around forty-one weeks, when will she come out?" Garfield asked one day while nervously trying to eat breakfast, his hands were shaking. It was around nine o'clock. "I can barely lift up this fork."

"It is not up to Raven for the baby to come out, it is up to the baby." Starfire gracefully said to Garfield, trying to comfort him, sitting across the table. "If you are so worried, then why are you sitting here instead with Raven?"

"She's sleeping right now; I don't want to wake her; _never_ wake her up when she is already moody." He said as he ate a mouthful of food. "I used to just stay by her bedside, waiting for something to happen. But she told me that 'a watch pot never boils'. So, now I'm trying to keep myself occupied."

"BB, if you're done 'occupying' your mouth, do you wanna play the new zombie game I got?" Cyborg asked. Garfield swallowed his food.

"Do you even have to ask? Put it on." He said, putting his plate in the sink and running over to the couch with Cyborg following.

Robin was in the corner of the kitchen, trying to block out their voices.

His days were numbered; soon Raven would give birth to a child he desperately tried to prevent from coming into this world. He wished with all his might that he would be wrong about his predictions, but he knew he was right. And because the Logan's desire for happiness was stronger than their judgment, the world was going to pay for it.

If it would have to come it, Robin himself would destroy the thing called a child. And Raven heard those thoughts; she now knew he did _indeed_ pose a threat. She was cautious around him now, but would not hesitate to break his arm if he tried to touch the child in the future.

The clock struck noon, when a sweating and weak Raven limped into the living room. She was trembling as she was clutching to her stomach. She tried to talk, but ended up gasping for air and making grunting noises.

"Rae!" Cyborg shouted out to the team as he was the first to notice her when she began making grunting noises, with the rest of the team watching intently on the screen, as the gore from the game caught their attention. Garfield ran over to her.

"Is it time?" He asked innocently while holding onto her to prevent her from falling down. She couldn't form the words and simply nodded. Garfield nodded and escorted her slowly to their room, as a terrified Starfire timidly followed them.

So, there was Robin and Cyborg, both glaring at each other with disgust over the other's opinion about the baby. It wasn't long before they made their opinions known to each other. Robin thought Cyborg was possibly on his side, but now he felt betrayed to learn what Cyborg's real feelings were.

"What makes you think that you have the right to say anything about their choices?" Cyborg said.

"You know it just doesn't affect their lives, it affects ours as well….because having a kid changes everything." Robin said.

"I'm not saying that what you're saying is wrong; it's just that I think as a friend you should support them." Cyborg said.

Even though Cyborg and Robin were creating a negative atmosphere in the living room, Raven couldn't hear them because she was miles away, focusing on her meditation in her room. She hovered over the oval bed, trying to get comfortable. She was sweating, having a contraction now and then, and she knew this was only the beginning to very long night. She was remembering what she told Garfield about the labor.

* * *

"_You must remember Garfield," She said, with his hand gently resting upon hers. It was nearing the ninth month as they were lying in the bed, preparing to go to sleep. "That I am going to act like a monster, but whatever happens, you have to take control. I will be in pain, and I won't be in the right state of mind. I will tell Starfire what to do, but I don't think she will be able to control the situation. You have too."_

"_Rae, what if something happens…..that we haven't discussed? I know I got all the training down from that clinic we went to, but what if something happens…beyond the average problem?" Garfield asked, afraid to say the very worst scenario._

"_You know what to do. I told you whatever the consequences are, I'll accept them. Do whatever you have to do." She said trying to maintain her monotone; she couldn't show herself being afraid, otherwise he would be scared too._

"_Yeah, but I don't know if I can—"_

"_Garfield," She interrupted, staring deep into his eyes. "It's going to be okay. You know what to do. You always said that you wanted to be a leader. It will be just like that time with the Doom Patrol, except less gruesome. Or possibly more gruesome."_

"_I don't know about that, I'm just afraid I'll do something wrong."_

"_I know you too well. You punched Robin in the face just because he insulted me. I know you will rise up to the occasion." She said putting her one hand on his that was resting on her other hand. "I have faith in you, have faith in yourself."_

* * *

Now, here Garfield was, looking over a frightful Starfire on one side, and a grumbling Raven who was trying to meditate on the other. He was scared himself, but he had to remember that he needed to take control, or things were going to go to hell, and fast.

KIND WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH 'THE HUNT FOR RAVEN' BECAUSE IT GOES INTO STATIC SHOCK MORE THEN RAVEN, BUT I AM STILL GRATEFUL FOR THE LITTLE MOMENTS BETWEEN RAE AND BB THAT THEY HAD. MAYBE I'LL BUY THE EARILER VERSIONS, LIKE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN SAYING.

SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.


	7. The Labor Process and Welcomings

A BIT OF WARNING, IT'S NOT RATED 'M' JUST FOR THE LEMONS, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S ANYTHING TOO UNBEARABLE, JUST A WOMAN GIVING LABOR.

"Are you feeling okay, Raven?" Starfire asked. Raven ignored her, continuing her chant.

"Star, I told you not to break her meditation until she is done." Garfield said quietly to her as he was putting on sheets on the floor and around the bed.

He had changed into a short sleeve, black T-shirt with gray sweat pants on, so that way he wouldn't ruin his uniform. He had some scrubs ready when it was time. He already started to boil some water for cleaning the baby afterward, but if the labor persisted on for a while, the boiling water would become a part of Raven's tea.

"But she has been meditating for a while now." Starfire said.

"And she is going to be meditating for a lot longer. She is in labor." Garfield said quietly. He took Starfire by the side. He wasn't quite sure Starfire knew exactly what she gotten herself into. "Has Raven told you what is exactly going to happen here?"

"Yes." She said timidly. For her, this was such a strange event, and she wanted to do everything perfectly, but she knew that she wasn't. Garfield saw Starfire's sad expression. "I have read books."

"This is going to be a little different then looking at pictures. Look," Garfield said, trying to find a job for Starfire to do. He was trying to prepare a room for a woman about to give birth to his daughter, and Starfire just slowed him down. "Just sit by Raven's side, and-and tell me when she is done meditating. That is your job for now."

"How will I know she is done?" Starfire asked.

"You'll know." He said, as he was already walking away.

He promised Raven she wouldn't regret this, and that promise was wearing him down. He felt like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, and nobody else, besides him alone, could handle it. Maybe it was because he was just trying to prove something to Raven, or to the team.

Or just himself.

It had been hours since Starfire was ordered to sit by Raven's side, and she had done so, quietly, while attending to little hobbies such as reading Raven's books and learning to knit. Garfield spent the time cleaning up the room, setting up the crib beside their bed, and occasionally catching a glimpse of Raven's belly. He wanted to wait until now to set up the crib, just to give him something to do because he knew he was going to be waiting hours on end.

"Azarath, mentrion….zin…..thos….." Raven said, as her mantra was becoming harder to say with each breath. She became more interested in her breathing, then her calming words. She lowered herself down as the pain became more intense. She grunted.

"Raven?" Starfire said as she put down her knitting. "Beast Boy!"

"No, no, no, it's fine." Raven said, as she held onto her stomach as the pain dug deeper into her abdomen, but she was not reassuring anyone. Garfield rushed to her side. "Ga-Garfield, it's fine."

"Those contractions are becoming closer together." He said.

"Oh, look who's been reading the books now." Raven said, with the hint of pain in her voice. "It-it may seem like it's almost over, but-but it's not." The pain went away; she went back to hovering above the bed, trying to get comfortable again. "It's just one contraction. Many will come. Azarath…..mentrion….zinthos….."

Starfire and Garfield looked at each other with concern, and then went back to their business.

There really was only four or five more contractions that made Raven stop dead in her tracks, but the others were a little easier to endure. Although there were times when she was able to maintain a cool composure, some contractions were harder to deal with.

"AZARATH!" Raven cried out a few hours later. She kneeled over from her lotus position, as if she was begging some unknown force to relieve her of her pain.

"Raven its okay, this too shall pass. Just like you said." Starfire said as she patted Raven's back.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered. Her cool demeanor was being challenged by this baby, and the pain it brought. "By the will of Azar, deliver this child." She muttered to herself quietly. She was not one to call upon her childhood religion, except in a time of need. Another contraction came. "Oh, AZARATH!" She shouted through the pillows that put over her mouth.

"It is okay, Raven." Garfield whispered. He mimicked her position and kneeled down beside her. "It's almost over. Just breathe." She kept inhaling and exhaling deeply, with occasionally trembling to the pain. "Just focus on me."

She stared at him while they both inhaled and exhaled together at the same time. The pain started to go away, but it was still there, and it still burned.

"Come on, Rae, just breath with me." He said calmly, trying to make her calm, even though he was probably more scared then she was.

The room fell silent as the only sound was the two of them breathing in and out, as Satrfire was on one side of the bed, trying not to interfere. At first she thought she was going to be the one to control this situation, but then she began to see Raven in pain, and she couldn't take the sight of it. Fortunately, Garfield was prepared to take this position long before Star was even considering it, even if he needed some reassurance from Rae a month before time.

* * *

It was now eleven o'clock at night, and Robin was having difficulty sleeping. He kept tossing and turning as the sound of Raven's voice was keeping him up. Their rooms were soundproof, but Robin could just imagine what Rae's screams sounded like, as Starfire was still not back. But really, he just couldn't sleep knowing that their child was about to be born, and he didn't trust it. Cyborg played on the Gamestation, not wanting to go to bed yet. Occasionally he would see some black energy floating around to catch objects, but they would disaapear as quickly as they formed. He figured it was all part of the process and didn't question their existance. By one o'clock, he went to bed.

* * *

Starfire took a short nap on the floor when Raven fell asleep near midnight, but she was up again three hours later to find a sleeping Garfield cuddling up behind Raven on their bed.

_That could be Robin and me,_ she thought to herself as she stared at the two of them.

Raven began moaning around four o'clock, waking up from the pain. She pushed Garfield to the side as she tried to get up.

"Rae?" Garfield said as he was pushed over to the other side. "Rae, come back to bed." He said, forgetting for a second that his wife was in labor.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered as she stumbled onto the floor. She moaned again as the contractions were getting more painful. Garfield remembered that she was in labor, and rushed to her side, up beside the bed, with Starfire following.

"Don't worry, it will pass." Garfield said being half-asleep, again playing the role of the supporting husband and father. Raven sat up on the floor, her sweating face looked over to Garfield, as her hair got caught in her face.

"It's not going to _fucking_ pass," She said trying to remain calm. Again, she was not one to throw cussing words around, except only when it was necessary. She grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled it over to her. "She's coming, Daddy." She said, grumbling between her words.

"Oh, she's just coming." Garfield mumbled as he yawned. "She's coming. She's coming!" He shouted as he realized what she meant.

Raven pushed her back up against the side of the bed as she squat down. She tried chanting her mantra, but it kept getting interrupted by the pain of the baby moving down. She gripped the side of the mattress, trying to scream out her mantra.

Garfield put his arms around Raven's shoulders, trying to comfort her, occasionally holding her hands, but she would grip so tight sometimes he had to let go.

Starfire was already getting the towels ready, staring between Raven's legs, getting ready to help a friend.

"If I'm not mistaken, you're ready to push." Starfire said, a little frighten of what to expect next.

"Azarath, mentrion, ZINTHOS…" Raven shouted as she began pushing with her stomach muscles. A few more pushes later, Starfire could see the head coming. "Azarath, mentrion, ZINTHOS…." She shouted again as she pushed.

Garfield still was at her side, holding onto her shoulders. With each push she made, he gave her pecks on the cheeks as a form of comfort. She tried to remain calm between each push, but the mixture of pain, sweat, dirty bodily fluids, the dehydration in her voice, and the annoying sounds she could hear was making this not the most ideal experience she had ever enjoyed. It still beat a day in her father's hellhole. Garfield began to hold onto her tighter, as he was afraid something might go wrong at the current moment.

"Azarath, mentrion, ZINTHOS…." She shouted. The pain and sweat was becoming too much for her. "I can't….I can't….." She whispered as she was losing energy from the pain, breathing heavily.

"Yes, you can." Garfield whispered in her ear. With his one hand in hers, he began squeezing tighter, and hugging her shoulder with his other. He tried to make her steady her breathing by repeating her mantra back to her. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos, come on…" He whispered.

"But…I can't…Beast Boy…." She whispered, trying to steady her breath. "I'm going…to be the….only woman….in history…of having her child….stuck during its labor….and it growing…throughout her life…never coming out….." She said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"At least you'll be remembered in a positive light." He said, trying to crack a joke, but she wasn't laughing. A few minutes passed by. "Are you ready to try again?" He asked, she hesitantly nodded.

"Azarath, mentrion, ZINTHOS…." She shouted, as she used all her energy to push. He gave her another peck on the cheek as he slowly began to cry. This time she could feel the baby passing through.

"That's it, Raven! That's it! She's here!" Starfire exclaim with joy as she grabbed the pale being from Raven's body. She wrapped layers of towels around the little creature, as Garfield dabbed off the sweat from Raven's face with a small cloth.

"Azarath, mentrion….." Raven whispered as she passed out in Garfield's arms from exhaustion. He kept dabbing her face with the small cloth and hoping that any minute she would awake from her comatose state. He tried to get her stringy hair out of her face, as she made groaning noises.

"It's okay, it's okay." He said in a soothing voice. He started to rock her body back and forth.

Starfire cut the umbilical cord as the baby cried out. Raven slowly awoke from the noise but when Starfire handed her the baby, she didn't take her. She looked up at Garfield, not wanting to tell the truth to Starfire.

"Raven is tired now, I'll take her." He said as Raven slowly dragged herself to bed. Starfire handed him the now cleaned pale, gray skin creature. "She just looks like her mom." He said as the baby opened her eyes. They were gray, for her eye color was still developing. "Oh, she has gray eyes, that'll probably clear up in a week, but she has my nose…oh and my mother's lips. Shh, it's okay little one." He whispered while rocking her as he sat on the bed.

The child was crying out for her mother, but Raven wasn't ready to hold her, not even ready to look at her. She tried to fall asleep, with Garfield noticing this and taking the baby outside in the hallway. Raven then went into a deep sleep.

* * *

"But I don't understand." Starfire said, two days later. All the team, besides Raven, was lounging in the living room, just looking at the new member of the team. "Why hasn't Raven held her yet?"

"She's tired." Garfield lied.

The Tower was a mess the day after Raven gave birth, so much so, that Garfield spent the whole day cleaning up, with Cyborg occasionally helping. Starfire could sense that something was not quite right with Raven; she was the one doing all the baby chores, while mommy spent the day sleeping or meditating, without even glancing at the baby.

"I thought she was ready." Starfire said, not believing Garfield's story. Garfield looked over to where Robin was sitting in the kitchen. Robin kept his distance from the baby, not wanting to be near her.

"I'll tell you later." Garfield said, not wanting to speak about the subject in front of Robin.

The little creature was wrapped around Cyborg's arms, as she fell asleep. By this point, it was noticeable that she was growing dark violet hair around her scalp. It was almost black even, just with a violet shine.

"Who's your god-father? I am?" Cyborg said in a cutesy voice, wanting to press thos chubby cheeks, but then he realized the others were watching him. "Hmm, so BB, what is Rae going to name her?" He said back to his normal voice, trying to change the subject.

"She said I could name her." Garfield said, looking over her. "I decided on Lydia."

"Where did you come up with that name? That's just so normal. At least compare to 'Garfield'." Cyborg said, rocking Lydia. She was unnaturally too quiet for a newborn.

"Well, I first saw that name in a book that Raven made me read—"

"—You read a book?—" Cyborg interrupted.

"—Called _Pride and Prejudice_—"

"—You read an _old _book?—"

"—Anyway," Garfield said ignoring Cyborg. "I really liked the youngest sister in the book, Lydia, because she was a big flirt, and she reminded me of myself when I was younger—" Cyborg began to laugh. "What?" Garfield asked as if he was insulted.

"You were not a flirt, you were an idiot." Cyborg said as he laughed. Lydia woke up and began to cry from all the noise. "Oh great." He said as he tried to rock her back to sleep.

"Hey, I landed the girl, did I not?" Garfield said, pointing to the hallway doors. By now Lydia just was whimpering. "I also just like the way the name 'Lydia' sounds, Lovely Little Lydia…." He said as Cyborg began laughing again. "What now?" Cyborg was giving Garfield the same look he gave him when he knew that Garfield was in love with Raven, even before Garfield knew it.

"You are really into this whole Dad thing?" Cyborg said. Lydia started to whimper more loudly; Cyborg couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, she's calling you, Daddy." He handed her to Garfield.

Her cries were becoming louder, and with that Robin walked to the hallway to go to his room. He would have to get used to these scenarios. Starfire was a little annoyed by him walking away, but for the time being she was too busy being happy for Garfield.

"What's wrong, why won't you sleep?" He asked himself while her crying became louder.

"I'll take her." Starfire said, taking the opportunity. He didn't say anything, but gave her Lydia nonetheless, since he was tired. Lydia quieted down a bit before Starfire decided to change her diaper. "There you go, all you needed was a women's touch."

Raven had quietly walked into the room after Robin had left, and stood there in bewilderment as to what she was seeing and what she was hearing from Starfire. She wanted to go out there and take Lydia away from Starfire, fearing that Starfire forgot exactly who the one in labor was, but she didn't.

Her mother had warned her about giving the child a strict upbringing, and this meant Raven had to be cautious around the child, which meant not touching. Her own mother barely held Raven when she was a child, but both Lydia and Raven shared the same genes, surely they could co-exist peacefully, unlike her mother did? Or could they destroy the world together?

However, for the time being, she had to trust her mother's advice, and keep her distance from her own child. Half of it was because her mother told her too, the other half was because she was unsure if she was ready to take care of Lydia.

She still wore her maternity clothes, wearing her long, purple, muslin dress, in a scooped up neckline.

* * *

"So, you decided on Lydia then?" Raven said that night, as Garfield was preparing Lydia for bed. "That's interesting, since in the book it was the result of Lydia's actions that drove Elizabeth and Darcy together." Raven was on the other side of the room, trying to keep her distance.

"Rae, how long are you going to avoid touching her? I know what you told me—"

"My mother said it could be very dangerous if she gets used to my touch so fast. She needs to learn how to meditate first before I can touch her. Otherwise her—"

"I don't want to argue. Just tell me how long will it be?"

"I don't know; maybe a month, maybe a year, maybe her whole life…" She said, trying to not look so down. She turned towards Garfield. "We can talk about that later; right now let's just follow my mother's advice, since she is a newborn; after all she knows best."

"But you said it yourself that she didn't give the unconditional love that you wanted, how can I trust that this won't screw up your relationship with Lydia?" He asked.

"Because," She said, without any particular answer. "Just because I said so. I'll figure something out, a loophole maybe, but for now let's just do what she says is best." She said. After a few minutes while he was attending to Lydia's needs, Raven thought about a new subject to talk about. "I've been thinking; thinking about what her middle name could be, since you decided on the first. I thought maybe her middle name could be…Tierra."

"Tierra, you mean like the crown?" He said looking back at her, but she shook her head, staring deep into his eyes. "Rae, you don't mean?" Realizing what the name really was supposed to mean, with her nodding her head. "I know I made a big deal about you respecting _her_, but you don't have to put her name in just for my happiness…"

"No, it's not about you, well maybe a little." Raven said, staring at him as he was trying to rock Lydia to sleep. "Without _her_ in my head that day, Lydia wouldn't be here. Whether I hate to admit it or not, whether it is me swallowing my pride or actually forgiving her, after everything she has done to me, I owe her Lydia, at least. And if there are days I don't want to be reminded, I can always pretend it's the name for a crown. Because Lydia is a princess."

As soon as Lydia fell asleep in his arms, he gently put her in the crib, with Raven moving closer to him. She stared into the light purple crib with white blankets covering her. He held onto Raven's arm, as he kissed her on her cheek, with tears dripping down his face.

"Thank you, Rae." He said.

"For what? Why are you getting so emotional?" She said, wiping a tear away from his eyes.

"For-for everything." He said, a bit surprised at her respond. "Not only have you given m-me a child, but a-a daughter nonetheless. A son would have never been the s-same as a daughter. She has the soul of my lost sister. She has your looks, and now she has name in honor of Terra." He said trying to calm down. "I promise you that you won't regret this, and you still won't, even with your mother's…..advice. You will one day hold her, when you're ready. And I am fully prepared to teach her all about Azarath and Africa."

"I don't know if you should tell her about Africa—"

"I'll start with the positives, like the culture, the art, and the nature. We can't have her feeling sad just yet." He said, and then he began to think. "Why hasn't anything happened yet, anyway? From the way you describe it, Lydia would destroy the world with her cries?"

"Just like with talking, walking, and basic understanding of the world, her body is learning and her body is too weak to form powers right now. She is still just a baby. Her powers are developing as we speak. Right now, she is just a quiet baby, but one day she will explode with emotions, and with that, her powers." Raven explained. "The thing is she is only one quarter, so I don't know when her powers could be triggered. I don't even know if she could be powerful, or uncontrollable. There is a thin line between the two."

"I know you have been reading a lot on those books. Sooner or later you'll find something." He said, trying to comfort her. "But if she can't 'harm' anything yet with her unknown powers, why can't you just hold her?"

"I told you, my mother said that—"

"You're not under her roof, Rae; you are a grown woman with a daughter of her own." Garfield reminded her, starting to become angry with her flimsy excuses, at least flimsy to him. "Rae?"

"Just trust me, please." She said, staring into his eyes. "Let's not experiment with her powers just for my sake. She possibly could trigger her powers _if_ I do hold her."

"I appreciate your mother's advice, but still…" He looked over the sleeping baby, while holding onto Raven.

"It's a strict life, but I'm used to it." She said; he did not envy her.

* * *

Two weeks passed by, and Raven still didn't think she was ready to hold Lydia. Her gray eyes developed into a dark green color. Garfield had a diseased that was cure by medicine which made him green, but the only green thing she had inherit was his green eyes. Her pale gray skin seem to clear up each day until one day it was a nice pale peach color. Raven was proud at first that Lydia had the same skin color as her mother, but now she realized that it was only temporary, and that Lydia would have a fair, peachy skin complexion.

She had to remember about genetics; Garfield himself was one time Caucasian before he was transformed into his green state, and her mother was too. After that, she became proud that Lydia wasn't able to retain her gray complexion, for it showed Raven that she was more human then Demonic.

She also had to remember that pride was a fault, and a fault could destroy her. Just like how she noticed that Robin's fault was that he was jealous and not trusting. And that fault was slowly eating him up inside each day Lydia was living and breathing.

Lydia was an all around a normal baby. Well, almost normal. She would do the normal things babies would do, she just was very quiet at times, and that became unsettling to Raven.

The group did medical tests on Lydia to see if anything was wrong, but they didn't find anything out of the ordinary.

"Would this have anything with her being one quarter Demon? Because I wasn't a quiet baby." Garfield asked one day as he was putting Lydia down for a nap, while Raven watched from a far.

"I don't know because I wasn't quiet as a baby myself. In fact I cried too much. But that could be because Trigon was trying to get inside my head." Raven said.

"Do you think," Garfield said hesitantly. "That this could be a human problem? Like an early sign of Autism?" A book full of black energy went full speed towards Garfield, luckily he ducked in time.

"I'm sorry." Raven said, trying to refocus herself. "It's just the stress. I am already worried about the future for her; I can't have her _now_ have some other problem. I tried so hard during the pregnancy to do the best I could, so I could avoid something like Autism. I don't know if it _can_ be avoidable in the womb, but I thought that maybe—"

"It's okay," He said, as he went over to embrace her. He kissed her on both cheeks, as he made his way toward her lips. After a few seconds, he finally broke. "You know what? This has been a stressful time. You're no longer pregnant, and Starfire for the longest time has wanted to babysit. So, why don't we do something tonight that doesn't involved Lydia?"

"But there's nothing I would want to do, rather to meditate or drink some tea…"

"Let's do that too! Let's just get out of this Tower for the time being. We can sit at a fancy restaurant and just stare at each other for all I care. We need to just leave."

"We can't, we now have responsibilities—"

"Rae, I'm telling you, if you don't take it easy, you could get really emotional. I've read about women who get depress after they just had a baby. Star can take care of her, while I take care of you—"

"I'm not a helpless puppy…." Raven said coldly.

"Oh, please don't start with your feminism rants again. What I mean is that, we could take care of each other. Come on; let's just get out of here." He said, she nodded, but she was reluctant to leave Lydia alone. Not because she was afraid Starfire couldn't take care of her, she knew Star could.

But she was afraid of leaving Lydia alone with Robin.

* * *

Robin seemed not to be a threat after she was born, but still Raven kept an eye on him. He still was ignoring the Logan's; despite all the attention they were getting from the others and the media.

He was watching, in the living room, as Starfire was feeding Lydia a bottle from a far; Raven preferred to pumped milk from her breast and give it to her from a bottle by someone else, since she didn't want to touch Lydia yet. Robin looked at Starfire, who was in total bliss, carefully giving enough attention to every detail of Lydia's care; motherhood suited her. He couldn't help, but feel happy for her, but at the same time was still not ready to trust the creature she was holding.

"Hmmm, hmmm, hm, hm, hm, hmmm….." Starfire hummed to her, staring down at the dark violet hair girl. She noticed Robin was looking at her cheerfully. "Have you finally decided that this baby is good?" She asked while humming between her sentences.

"No, I still cannot trust that _thing_ that you hold. But you look beautiful as a mother. One day, this will be a beautiful moment, not a bittersweet one." He said.

"Robin, you're going to have to come to realization that I can't—"

"—Can't what? Have children? No, you can. We just need to try harder. We _can_ have a child." Robin insisted. "And then you won't have to rely on Raven's…..on Raven's….."

"Raven's what? Are you going to say 'monster'? Because I can see it in your eyes that that's what you think she is, a monster." Starfire said with a hint of resentment in her voice. She put down Lydia on the couch, surrounded by pillows, to prevent her from falling off. "Robin, how long are you going to keep this up? You can't escape from reality now."

"I can try….maybe it's time Beast Boy and Raven started to think about moving—"

"—Robin—"

"—I mean, move to a different section of the Tower, not out of the Tower." Robin said, trying to add a compassionate tone. "I don't know what else to do? What do you want me to do?" Starfire looked over to him.

"Pick her up." She said.

"What? No." He said, looking over to Lydia.

"Robin." She said in a serious tone, turning around and walking out into the hallway.

"Star, no, don't leave me here with her!—" She was gone. Robin didn't submit to Starfire's demands, so he stood there, watching the baby carefully.

At first, everything was fine, and he thought that he could ignore Lydia and wait until Starfire came back. However, that didn't stop Lydia from whimpering in her sleep. Robin was petrified what would happen if she didn't stop crying, after all, he had lived through Raven's nightmares, and didn't know how Lydia worked with her powers.

Reluctantly, he walked over to the couch, but just stared at her instead of comforting her. She looked just like any other human baby in the world, except her dark violet hair. She whimpered a bit before opening her eyes to see the only person in the house that didn't want her there. That still didn't stop Lydia from crying out.

Robin then, reluctantly picked her up. He didn't do anything more. He didn't rock her, he didn't hum a song, he didn't even look at her; he just held her, with a vacant expression on his face.

Starfire walked into the room, hiding from behind the door frame until Robin would pick her up. As soon as he saw her, he put Lydia down.

"See, I did what you asked. Was that supposed to change anything?" He asked.

"I kind of was hoping." Starfire said sadly.

"Why do you care so much about this?" Robin asked, walking off farther away from Lydia. "Can't you see it from my perspective?"

"No, I actually don't. I pretend too, but I really don't." She confessed. They both stood in their places, staring at each other, and not knowing how to break the silence. "Robin, you were at one time the first person to see the good everyone, even the villains. But you've changed."

"No, Star, I haven't changed. I just…I can't explain it. I just don't feel comfortable with that baby around. Raven should have known better then to allow herself—"

"You're jealous." Starfire interrupted. "There's no mystery to why you hate her; you're jealous that she isn't ours. It is as simple as that. But you're too proud to admit it, because it would mean endangering your friendship and to trust a simple feeling, rather than to upholding some honor as you claim."

When Raven was pregnant, Starfire at first thought Robin knew something more than she did, such as Raven really didn't want this child. Or Garfield had forced himself on Raven, without her consent. Or that Raven would die in the process of giving birth. Or, and worst of all to Starfire's reasoning which she only thought for a brief moment, Robin was the _real_ father.

She had thought about all the worst possible scenarios which could make him object to Ravens baby, but up to a certain point she had never thought that Robin was just merely jealous.

Oh, Jealousy, what a green monster She was; She can turn the most humble and honest men into murdering thieves, and all over a few greedy passions. Starfire herself knew all about the green monster herself, such as the time when Robin went on a date with Kitty.

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this." Robin said. He gave one more glance at her before he walked away.

"Starfire, I don't want him touching her." Raven said in her piercing monotone voice. When she had gotten home that night, she had walked through the living room to get Lydia. She sensed that something happened between the two, but didn't ask any questions. She merely said her piece, not knowing entirely that Robin had held Lydia, and walked away.

Starfire didn't say anything, and allowed Raven to walk away, with Garfield taking Lydia. He didn't ask any questions either, he kind of was used to Raven making weird remarks like those with only her knowing what they meant.

* * *

"So, can you pick her up now?" Garfield asked as they were about to go to bed.

He, in his black sweatpants, shirtless. She, in baggy, blue pajamas pieces. Even when she turned a page from her book, her hands looked soft to the touch, and Garfield was having a hard time keeping himself on his side of the bed. He tried to get rid of _those_ thoughts by distracting himself to conversations he already had. He had waited _so_ long, and yet he had to wait more because Raven was still healing after having a baby.

His heart would beat faster each time she glanced up at him. She _knew_ what he was thinking about, but she tried to pretend she didn't. Lust was buried deep inside. And she wasn't going to come out for a while, not after just having a baby. But she would occasionally look back at him, when he wasn't looking, with that familiar small smile on her face, possibly thinking that she sure hadn't felt that pleasant sore in a while—

"Rae, you didn't answer my question." He said, interrupting her daydreaming. "I mean I know you said a year, but I think that's a little extreme. Especially since she is still a newborn." Raven was barely listening, but she tried her best to compose herself and to not give any signals to Garfield.

"Do I have to repeat myself?" She said in her monotone. She had forgotten what he was asking, but decided to go with the vaguest response she could think of so as to hide the fact that she wasn't listening.

She couldn't take it anymore; Lust certainly climbed out of her hole fast. She put her book down and crawled over to his side of the bed, not taking her eyes off of him. She was face to face with him, and didn't know what to do next other than to play with his hair.

He didn't know what she was doing at first, but then he looked into those helpless eyes which could always tell him what she was feeling at that moment. He was at first reluctant to go along with her, since she had just given birth no more than a week ago, but maybe she had healed up rather quickly. Maybe, since she was a healer in the first place, she had sped up the process?

It was a big maybe, and too much wishful thinking on his part. Raven was the sensible person in the relationship, and common sense would have told her to wait, but she kept twirling his hair.

After staring into each to other's eyes for some time, Raven leaned forward and kissed him. Not wanting to be in second place, he took over the position, trying to make each kiss deeper then the last. She started to undo her top, and after she took it off, he started kissing her neck, while embracing her in order to get closer.

Just as he began to turn her over so her back was on the bed, Lydia began crying. As soon as Raven heard her, Lust ran away. They both looked at each other in disappointment, but they knew they were being saved, because not enough time had passed for Raven yet. If Lydia hadn't cried, it just would have been awful, uncomfortable, and probably unhealthy too; Raven didn't want any unnecessary tear then she already had.

As Garfield got up to take care of Lydia, Raven put her top back on. She was embarrassed for her weakness that she portrayed. In the beginning, she wouldn't have sex just for the sake of having sex; she would have it to feel loved, to control Lust, and to make Garfield happy.

Now, she was becoming selfish, because she just wanted to feel that overwhelming sensation with Garfield.

"I'm going to meditate." Raven said, trying to break the tension that both she and Garfield were feeling.

About three hours went by. After a few trips to Lydia's crib and back, Garfield was going to finally get some sleep. Or so he thought.

Lydia started to whimper.

"Please don't, please quiet down." Garfield was whispering as he could hear that all too familiar sound of baby about to cry. She then started to cry. He got out of bed, drowsy as he was. He peeked over to where Raven was sitting, still meditating, before he walked over to the crib.

Garfield led out a screech as Lydia was being lifted up by a ball of black energy. She floated over to where Raven was meditating. Lydia was then being rocked gently by the ball of energy. Lydia slowly stopped crying.

"Raven?" Garfield asked.

"I just thought it was my turn." She said without turning around or opening her eyes. Garfield didn't say anything, because she knew what she meant, and he just went back to bed with a smile on his face, as he went to sleep.

She not only meant that it was her turn to do all the dirty work, but that she was ready. She was ready to be a mother.

_This could take my mind off sex_, Raven thought to herself. _Although that's not the only reason_. _I'm not my mother, I'll show _her_. I will be different._

SORRY FOR TEASING ABOUT A LEMON SCENE, BUT I WANTED TO DIVE INTO THE ISSUE OF WHEN IT IS A RIGHT TIME FOR A COUPLE TO GET BACK INTO ACTION AND WHEN IT'S NOT. IF I AM NOT MISTAKEN, I THINK THERE SHOULD BE A LEMON SCENE SOON.

ALSO, MY HEART GOES OUT TO THOSE IN JAPAN RIGHT NOW, IT SEEMS SO DEFEATING WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS, AND NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO RESPOND OR DEAL WITH IT WITHOUT CASUALTIES BEING INVOLVE. I PLAN TO GIVE BLOOD NEXT WEEK, IF I CAN PASS THE TESTS. TRY TO STAY POSITIVE.

SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK.


	8. The Awoken Spirit Does Not Like To Wait

NICE LITTLE LEMON SCENE COMING UP. I STILL HAVE A COUPLE MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE THE PAGES WILL CATCH UP TO ME, I'M TRYING TO KEEP THE DISTANCE BETWEEN THE WRITTEN WORK DOWN, AND THE CHAPTERS THAT ARE UP, BUT I CAN ONLY KEEP A NICE GAP FOR SO LONG. SCHOOL AND WORK KEEPS ME BUSY.

ALTHOUGH, I FEEL LIKE ANY COMPLAINTS I HAVE SEEM IRRELEVENT COMPARED TO WHAT JAPAN IS FACING RIGHT NOW. EVEN AT MY WORK WHEN I HAVE GUESTS COMPLAIN TO ME OVER THE TINIEST DETAIL ABOUT HOW MY WORKPLACE OPERATES, SOMETHING I CAN'T CONTROL LIKE A POLICY, I JUST WANT TO STARE POINTBLANK IN THEIR FACE AND SAY 'JAPAN', AND JUST WALK AWAY. OF COURSE I KNOW I CAN'T DO THAT, NOR CAN I RIP THEIR HEADS OFF WHICH IS WHAT EVERY OTHER EMPLOYEE WANTS TO DO.

I JUST WANT TO TELL THEM 'REALLY? YOU'RE REALLY ARGUING WITH ME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE A REFILL OF AN ICEE, EVEN AFTER I TOLD YOU COULDN'T WHEN YOU BOUGHT IT, AND ARE THREATING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE STORE'S POLICY? OKAY, GO AHEAD, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE RECOVERING FROM AN EARTHQUAKE, A TSUNAMI, AND A NUCLEAR POWER PLANT EXPLOSION. BUT HEY, YOU WANT ANOTHER ICEE.'

"Rae, can I please babysit her?" Cyborg asked the next day, as they were all in the kitchen eating, getting prepared for the long day ahead of them.

"Why have you taken such an interest in this baby stuff all of a sudden? I thought you weren't into it?" Garfield asked, while trying to feed Lydia her bottle, but she was being very fussy this morning.

"Dude, girls like kids. Girls _love _babies. If I can babysit, it will show the ladies how sensitive I am, while claiming to just be an uncle, and thereby single." Cyborg explained.

"Aren't you with Jinx?" Robin asked, eating from the counter next to Cyborg, while the rest were eating at the table.

"We broke it off. Too much drama. Sometimes everything is fine with her, sometimes everything is not. You would think I would have found a sane chick by now. But I haven't, because most of them are just crazy." Cyborg said.

"Well, I don't think all of them are crazy." Robin said, looking over to Starfire. She blushed as he made eye contact with her, and he blushed as well.

"Oh, I'm eating here, don't make me vomit. You guys literally have been married for how many years now? And you still act like you just had your first kiss yesterday." Cyborg said. "At least Rae and BB have the decency not to be all cutesy with each other in front of others."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" Raven said in her monotone voice before she sipped her morning tea. For her, it was a nightmare not being able to display her feelings all the time, and Cyborg made it sound like she did this for the benefit of the others. Part of it was true though; she didn't want to be all 'cutesy' in front of the team.

"It was meant to be one." Cyborg said in his defense.

"No wonder you're single." She said.

"Just drink the stupid bottle….why won't you just have your breakfast….." Garfield said as he was trying to feed Lydia, but she wouldn't take the bottle. "Am I doing something wrong?"

"Here, let me." Starfire said, already grabbing the bottle. Raven watched silently, as she slowly sipped her tea. "Just point the tip of the bottle on her nose—"

"—I was doing that—"

"—and put it close to her mouth….and she should get a hold of it…." Lydia still wasn't taking the bottle, and now she was crying. "…Well I thought this would do the trick…"

"Let me try." Raven said as she put her cup down. Lydia was then covered in black energy and floated in midair to Raven. She also took the bottle with her powers that Starfire was holding. Raven used her powers to gently put the bottle on Lydia's lips, as she was being rocked.

Starfire was at first astonished, for she was used to being the caretaker. However, she was now feeling jealous of Raven. She had thought for sure that Raven was going to take her sweet time to warm up to Lydia, even though Starfire _herself_ had pushed Raven to be more of a mother.

Starfire didn't say anything. She just went back to her plate, finished her breakfast, and made her way to the door. Robin followed her.

"Star, what's a matter?" Robin asked quietly before she walked through the door.

She didn't say anything, but merely glanced over to Raven who was sipping her tea while attending to Lydia not three feet away from her. Robin looked over, and understood what troubled Starfire.

"You knew that would happen sooner or later. That's Raven's baby. I told you that." Robin said, trying to grasp her hand.

"Don't, don't you _dare_ say 'I told you so'. I'm not in the mood." Starfire said, not taking his hand with tears swelling up her eyes. She went to her room. Robin couldn't do anything more then follow her.

"My little mechanic's growing up." Cyborg said to Raven. She gave a small smile to him and looked over to where Robin was standing before he walked out. Her small smile faded.

* * *

_Oh, his eyes are dark, and his hair is so—stop that, stop thinking lustful thoughts,_ Raven thought to herself as she was taking care of Lydia while the others were out battling, two months later.

Lydia was sleeping on the couch in the living room, making some whimper noises here and there. Raven was meditating, but her thoughts kept interrupting her. It had been months since she had fed Lust. However, now that Lydia was born and being taken care of, Lust had come back. And with a vengeance.

_Azarath, mentrion…I wonder if he's using his tiger form? Why? Why would you think that? You must focus. You must concentrate. You must get some meditation done. Before Lydia starts crying again, which you know will be soon._

Almost as if on cue, Lydia started crying. Raven used her black energy to rock her, without so much as opening her eyes or moving. It didn't take much strength to take care of Lydia this way, but it did cause her to pause during her meditation, which she felt was dangerous. However, it was a small price to pay.

_Okay, okay, Lydia stopped crying. Azarath, mentrion, zinthos. Azarath, mentrion…I just _know_ he is using his tiger form. His muscles could melt my soul, and I'm not the 'muscle' type of girl. But _his_ muscle could…stop that! Get these thoughts out of my head!_

"Well, I think Cyborg _will_ get his chance to babysit." Raven said to herself. "You hear that Lust, now get out of my head." But she knew Lust wouldn't go away, for it was uncontrollable until she could physically control it.

* * *

All day she tried to meditate, and all day her wild thoughts were somewhere else. Raven starred out the window the rest of the day, as going inside her mind was not working. As soon as the team got home, Raven immediately went up to Cyborg.

"I can trust you to take care of her, can you do it tonight? There are bottles in the fringe, and Starfire can help you when she starts to fuss." She said.

"Sure, Rae. Where are you guys going?" He asked.

"Nowhere. We're just staying home." She said as modestly as she could, trying to hide her Lust. She walked over to where Garfield was, who was eating some takeout they had gotten after the battle.

She didn't say anything, but merely tried to make eye contact with him. She kept staring at him, until she got his attention.

"What is it Rae? Is Lydia okay—" Garfield asked, as he was a little frightened of her staring at him so intently.

"—Shh, Lydia's fine. But you must come with me." She said, as she lightly grabbed his hand. She didn't want to cause any attention to herself from the others, as she tried discreetly to pull him away from the table. She was still wearing her loose fitting clothes, and she didn't feel practically sexy, but she remembered from past times what few charms she had to persuade him to come with her.

He followed her without questioned. She was trying to get to their room fast before her Lust would explode out of her. Their room seemed so far away. As soon as they reached the hallway, away from the others, she tried to run for it, dragging Garfield along with her, but he was reluctant to be forced to walk so hard.

"Raven, what's going on?" He asked, as he stopped her. She was so close to their room, and yet she couldn't contain herself. She passionately kissed Garfield against the wall. Now he had an idea of what she was doing.

"I'm about to explode if we don't have sex soon. Last time, Lydia saved us. But this time, I must release this energy before I keep it in any further." She explained after she broke off the kiss. She kissed him again, driving her tongue down his throat before breaking it off again to run to their room.

"I'll race you then." Garfield said, with playfulness in his voice. They both ran to the bedroom. They didn't use their powers to cheat in any way. They simply just ran as if they were any ordinary couple. He touched the door first. "Beat ya." He said slyly. She used her powers to open the door.

"Hurry up, I _really_ need you now." Rae said, allowing him to go to their restroom, while she sat on the bed waiting. She was able to keep her Lust quiet for bit, impatiently sitting there, trying to occupy her mind on something else.

Garfield walked out of the bathroom, wearing only his black boxers. Raven decided after the birth that she would go back on the pills; after all she was going to create damage anyway, hormones or no hormones. It was worth it to not have another Lydia, for she feared thattwo babies with Trigon's traits _would_ destroy the world. One child was enough, at least for now, if Garfield would stop being the persuader that he was.

His strong, yet skinny arms were too much for Raven. Yeah, he didn't have the greatest abs in the world, despite being a superhero, but his arms. Oh, would she die for those arms. Despite her long wait, she walked slowly over to him, kissing him up against the bathroom door. He ripped off her top from the back and unhooked her bra quickly. Books, papers, and stuffed animals rose from their places and started to fly slowly in organized circles above them.

Her soft yet cold breasts were pressed up against his hard and cold chest. He picked her up by her legs with her supporting herself by wrapping her arms around his neck, as she was still grabbing his lips with hers. He tossed her on the bed, with her slowly dragging her arms down his chest, latching onto his lips again. He then pulled down her skirt and her underwear, while she couldn't keep her lips away from his. He was a great multitasker. She was now a slave to Lust's demand for the moment.

She felt like a common prostitute in an Emperor's palace, and Garfield was the King. Tomorrow, she would regret the weaknesses she showed to him, the weakness of being a slave to this great pleasure sport.

This once scared little virgin, was now a violent sex slave when it was demanded by her emotions. She was careful, but still was occasionally disgusted by her actions. Even now she couldn't keep her lips off of him and yet, she knew on a good day with her emotions she would never do such a thing. This was not her and yet, at the same time, it was.

She ripped off his boxers, drawing her lips to his. She dragged him down with her, as she was lying on her back, with him on top of her. The books, papers, and stuffed animals kept on circling around them, gaining a little more speed.

"_(Kiss)_ Azarath, mentrion, _(kiss)_ zinthos…" She started to chant. She had a fiery passion that couldn't be ignored. Her Lust had been building up for many months now, and it was going to be released aggressively.

"Raven concentrate, I don't want to start unless you remain calm." Garfield said, still pulling back a little so her kisses wouldn't overwhelm him.

"I can't, (_kiss_) the human side of me would like to stop. _(Kiss) _It's the demon side of me that's becoming relentless." She said, forcing her body closer to his by sitting up a bit. "I can-I can maintain control, please, just start." She said, stopping for moment and glazing into his eyes, but then she resume to kissing him. "_(Kiss) _Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…."

Raven laid back down on the bed, with Garfield carefully lowering himself on her. She felt the stinging joy of being one with Garfield once again. While it was a little painful, from the many weeks she had time to heal, gripping his shoulders tightly, she knew it would soon become pleasurable by his gentle touch. She no longer tried to aim for his lips, now she just tried to relax and allow him to take over.

That was the plan at least.

"Az-ARATH, MEN-trion, z-INTHOS…." She whispered as she was anticipating each thrust he made.

She closed her eyes, rested her hands on her pillow, and tried to keep her breathing in sync with her chant. Garfield was trying to tame her, starting off slow to keep her calm. Only once did he felt she was concentrating seriously did he begin to speed up.

After a while, once he began to speed did there seemed to be a silence between them, besides her chanting. Occasionally, he kissed her chest and would end up making his way up to her neck, and then to her cheeks, but Raven merely raised her head when he did so. She was enjoying the moment, every millisecond of it, but she still had to maintain her chanting.

Garfield knew that she had to concentrate, and wouldn't take offense when she didn't respond to his motions. If anything, he _would_ take offense when she did because he would think he was doing something wrong to stop her concentrating.

His eyes were closed as well for he didn't need to see. Maybe in the beginning, he kept his eyes open to find his way, but he knew Raven's body by now to know every single detail. He knew how to make it fun for both of them, since one of them was in a trance part of the time.

"Azara-TH, MENTRION…zinthos…" She chanted, occasionally gasping for air a bit before chanting again.

When she started to moved her hands slowly towards his back, did he begin to go faster and faster.

Both their bodies were doused with sweat. She kept her mouth open between each chant for she was becoming dehydrated. Her hair becoming frizzy, as the sweat acted as a hair spray to her soft yet stringy hair. The twirling books, papers, and stuffed animals began to move faster and almost created a fan for them.

"AZ-arath, MENTRI-on, ZIN-thos…"

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos….." Garfield started to chant with her as he could feel the climax coming.

Oh, how long he had waited to feel her, and how much passion she gave to him when she was indeed ready. This time, _he_ was the one overwhelmed by the aggressive passion. She was starting to kiss him, anytime she had the time between her chants, grabbing onto his back, and tugging on him almost as if she was hurting him. The only other time was when they had made Lydia, but there wasn't any appreciating passion in her act, just Rage.

Raven sat up closer to him, as she held onto his back to support herself, he in returned grabbed onto her back so she wouldn't fall. He kept on thrusting with the same amount of force, trying to time the climax just right, despite the fact that she had changed positions. He was used to her by now grabbing onto his back; he knew she felt a sense of equality when she did so.

She lifted her head up to the ceiling, as if she was summoning a spirit. She moved her hands up in his hair, grabbing a hold of it, seeing if this would motivate him more to move faster. He went as fast as he could, as she did so too. He came with much stronger force to end things with a bang.

"Aza-RATH…..men-TRION…ZINTHOS…" She said as she released the last bit of Lust that she had left. The books, papers, and stuffed animals fell on the floor at that moment. "Beast Boy." She whispered in his ear.

Raven opened up her eyes to look into Garfield's eyes, both still in their upright position. She was no longer the sex slave she was before; she was now just Raven, but a happier version. _He_ was now the one who was trying to grab kisses from her whenever he had the chance.

She simply fell back on the bed, with him in her arms, facing him, while trying to close her eyes so she could sleep. He turned to face her, and tried to do a staring contest with her, but her eyes wanted to close so badly that he had to declare himself the winner and fall asleep too, keeping his arms wrapped around hers.

* * *

Hours later, someone kept knocking on their door, but neither Raven nor Garfield could hear it and wake up. After a few minutes went by without a response Cyborg decided to just drop off Lydia in the room on his own. He opened the door and put her gently in the crib. As he turned around, he saw the two of them lying beside each other, covering half of his eyes because half of Rae's body was exposed from the blanket, as well as Garfield revealing his chest.

It was awkward enough to know what the two were doing while he was babysitting, but to actually see the two of them in the moment was kind of cool. Granted, it was perverted and sick. But Cyborg, despite the fact that he covered up his eyes so he wouldn't see Raven's nudity, was fascinated by the scene.

He never officially saw any compassion between the two, only bantering. Now he saw that Garfield was right, that he knew how to take care of Raven in a way nobody else knew, but him.

For Cyborg, this made him feel hopeful to find a girl who was as compatible with him as Garfield and Raven were with each other, despite their bantering.

Or maybe, because of it.

Then, he turned around and got the hell out of there, because he didn't want to be caught by _anyone_.

* * *

"Starfire, get back here." Robin yelled across the roof. It had been a week, and they both came outside in the morning to discuss their options. Raven was going to meditate on the roof, when the shouting stopped her in her tracks. She hid behind the doorway, about to walk back in. "Can't we find another way?"

"I'm tired of doctors telling me my genetics don't work. I'm tired of potential surrogates turning us down. I'm tired of government officials telling _me_ I can't raise a child, because I'm not 'human'. I'm tired of this whole thing." Starfire said, still maintaining her distance to Robin, but Robin walked over to her. Now Raven couldn't leave.

"There is another way. There are plenty of children out there who need a parent, and not all government officials would turn us down. Some _will_ remember that we are heroes and not just look at you as an alien." Robin said, putting his arms around her.

"Well at least that's what some of them say. At least those governments are honest. Other's just pretend it is the fact that we _are_ heroes that makes us not eligible to be parents, because of the 'child would constantly be in danger' answer." She said, hugging him for comfort. "Until Cyborg can 'knock up someone', as you say, or until a government official can allow us to adopt a child, Lydia is all we have."

"Don't say that Star." Robin said, gripping her harder. She let go of the hug.

"I still can't believe you. Do you really think Lydia poses any danger to you? I have put up with you and your negative opinions for almost a year now, and you still can't accept the only means a child I have?" She said, backing away. "I'm tired of this Robin, either you accept Lydia sooner or later, or…or…or….."

"Or what?"

"I don't even want to say it." She said, and with that, she flew away towards the city. "I need to clear my head."

Raven used her black energy to dissolve out of the room.

"Rae, you didn't do anything; this has been building up for th

* * *

em for quite a while." Garfield said back in their room. He was trying to quiet down Lydia, as she had just woken up from a nap, with Raven sitting on their bed in the lotus position.

"But this is my fault. What if they separate? That would be riding on my shoulders for the rest of my life." She said.

"They won't separate." He said, he put his attention back to Lydia. "Shh, shh, shhh…."

"Well, that's reassuring." She said sarcastically. She looked over to the peach skin color baby with dark violet hair growing down to her shoulder. "She'll soon develop her powers, I can sense it."

"Then you can focus on that, instead of the relationship of our friends. Shh, shh, shh…" He whispered to Lydia.

* * *

Five months passed by with both Raven and Garfield trying to live through each day. Trying to be parents, and still trying to not affect their personal life with their work. Everyday Raven would get up first, get Lydia her breakfast and bath, before making her herbal tea, and then proceed to try to meditate with her in the room, plus do any diaper changes. Garfield would get up, have breakfast, and would either go along with the team out on battles or train himself. If he had to work, Raven took care of Lydia for the rest of the day, but if not, she would pass her to him.

Raven really wanted to go back out there with the team, fighting stupid villains again, and saving the day. Occasionally she would watch the team leave through the windows with envy. But she had to only look back to be reminded why she was needed somewhere else for the time being. If only Garfield had breast, then they could switch off.

Of course there were sleepless nights and restless days. There were days where Lydia could not stop crying, forcing Raven not to meditate, and days where Raven meditated for hours without disruption. Although Lydia was a quiet baby in the beginning, she did manage to become _too_ loud at certain times. Lydia was still developing, and only showed some slight signs of having powers. Sometimes Raven swore she had left her tea cup on the kitchen table, but when she turned around it would be on the kitchen counter. Other times, on the floor, spilled over. Not as subtle.

Raven tried to reach out to Starfire, trying to get her more involved with Lydia's life, however Robin would be in the back of the room, giving Rae a foul look.

Rae's Lust had been filled a couple more times during the course of the months, and each time Garfield would ponder out loud that Raven's emotions were both a gift and a curse. A curse for having to constantly control her emotions in everyday life and a gift for having to become more powerful each time they were expressed when it was a good time. And Lust was no exception.

"Aza-RATH, MEN-trion, ZINTHOS…" Raven yelled out in ecstasy as Garfield finished his last move off. She was embraced by his sweating body as they both lied down on the dirty sheets. It was a slow day for crime, and Raven was feeling very lustful that day.

They both breathed heavily as they tried to enjoy the silence for the moment. Garfield played with Raven's frizzy hair as she looked at him.

"What?" She said, still breathing heavily.

"Just…enjoying…the….view…" He said, trying to settle down his breathing.

"You…sound…..like…..a…..greeting…..card….." She said. After a while, they both became still with their breathing. He went to go over and kiss her before taking a nap, but she budged to the side, missing his lips. "Robin?" She said, taking her eye contact off of Garfield.

"Robin? What do you mean Robin—"

"—He's at the door." She interrupted him. She lifted up the sheets to hide her body.

"The door? What?" He asked. After a second or two, there was a knock at the door. Garfield quickly put on his robe to cover himself up and went to the door while Rae tried to hide from the door's view. Garfield was used to opening up the door slightly as she did. "Yes?" He said, almost as if it was Raven who answered the door herself.

"Your baby is crying." Robin said coldly, insulting Garfield by not saying her name.

"Cyborg's babysitting, as well as Starfire. They can take care of her." Garfield responded back as charismatic as Raven would say.

"Well, she is still crying. I can hear it out from the hallway. And she has been crying for a long time." He said.

"Well, like I said Cyborg is—"

"—it's not Cyborg's or Starfire's baby, it's yours. It's yours and Raven's. They can't keep her quiet. It shouldn't be their responsibility—"

"—Robin, it's just that Raven is meditating, and I'm _helping_, so we need this time. We rarely have them babysit, but I need them to babysit _now_—" Garfield said, opening the door a little more to get in his face.

"—Beast Boy, I am trying to work. You guys have should of thought that before—"

"Quiet!" Raven yelled out from the corner of the room, but she still hid herself. "Robin, Garfield wasn't lying. I _was_ meditating with him, but I will be there in a bit. But keep in mind, if you disrupt us again when _we_ are meditating together it could result in chaos and that's _more_ dangerous than Lydia disrupting your precious work."

"Ok, then." Robin said. "I'm sorry to disturb you." He said before departing, trying to sound sincere.

"Well, at least he was polite about it." She said sarcastically.

"Is he going to stay this way forever?" Garfield asked while Rae took off the blanket and began to get dressed.

"I don't know. Part of him seems to be sympathetic towards us, because of the worries that we have about her development. However, the way he talks and acts is a different story. Starfire and he were really set on having kids, and they are having trouble, so he is taking his anger out on us, for having a kid." She said.

"Really? He's just jealous? I thought it would be something bigger than that. How come you didn't tell me sooner?"

"I thought it was obvious after she was born." She forgot that Garfield was still Beast Boy; _she_ was the one with the brains in the relationship. "Anyway, there's nothing we can do, other than to try and comfort him. Although, he probably won't like that either. I don't care anymore, I have a family to look after now; I can't worry about Robin. I thought he would get over it, but he hasn't. So, then let him sulk in his own misery. But that shouldn't ruin things for us. Just forgive him, act nice, and maybe he would forgive us sooner or later."

"I guess so." He said.

"No, you can't guess, you have just forgive him and forget. You're a father now. You have to get over him now, for our daughters sake. It would only infuriate him even further if we keep pushing him." She said. He started to like Raven's aggressive parenting. He smiled.

"Okay, for the sake of our daughter. I won't even bat an eye towards him. I'll pretend he's the same Robin I've known for years." He said, he looked into her eyes, as she was finished getting dress. "Has she developed her powers yet?"

"Yes, but I don't know how I can get her to meditate this early, she can barely keep her head up." She said. "She can crawl, and she tries to hold onto me, which I discourage. Maybe I can use that to my advantage to get her to meditate." Garfield gave Raven a solemn look.

"I really wish you would hold her." He said. "I just hope this doesn't screw up her development."

"No, no. There's other reasons why I am doing this. This is the right training for a part Demon child—"

"—Because she shouldn't feel such strong emotions just yet. Yeah, I know." He said in a scripted manner. "But it's just that—"

"—I know." She said.

They have had this conversation many times before, and these repeated points were becoming harder and harder to listen to, for both sides. Garfield was allowing Raven to raise this child however she thought best, but he sometimes wondered if Raven even remember that she was only just a _quarter_ Demon, and mostly human. Of course, that point was also made.

"Okay, as long as _you_ know." He said, as he went to put a shirt on.

"I'll be right back," She said, quickly hooking on her cloak. "Oh, and you don't need to put that on yet, I'll be just a minute." She said smiling. He was confused, she was still acting lustful.

"I thought once a week or a month was more than enough for you." He said.

"It is; _I'm_ just enjoying the view now." She said, as she walked out of the room.

HERE'S HOPING I CAN GET SOME MORE WRITING DONE. ALTHOUGH IF WE'RE HOPING FOR ANYTHING, HERE'S HOPING JAPAN CAN START RECOVERING, OR AT LEAST STOP GETTING WORSE.


	9. Life's Normal, Again

SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, BUT FANFIC WAS DOWN, SO I MEANT TO POST ON FRIDAY, BUT IT WOULDN'T TAKE IT. IT'S STILL NOT WORKING, BUT I FOUND A TRICK TO BYPASS THE ERROR. SO, BECAUSE OF THIS ERROR, AND THE FACT THAT I HAVE BEEN WRITING LIKE CRAZY, I'LL UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER ON SUNDAY, SO YOU WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ANOTHER WEEK AND TO MAKE UP FOR THE DELAY. EVEN THOUGH IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU WAIT.

GETTING BACK ON TRACK WITH MY WRITING, AND ENJOYING THE NICE RAIN WE ARE HAVING HERE IN CALIFORNIA. EVERYBODY ELSE HATES IT, BUT THE MORE RAIN WE HAVE, THE FEWER DROUGHTS WE'LL GET. BUT PEOPLE ON THE ROAD ARE NUTS, THEY TRY TO DRIVE FASTER THEN SIXTY ON THE HIGHWAY, CREATING TOO MANY ACCIDENTS, AND I'M LIKE 'SLOW THE FUCK DOWN, I WOULD LIKE TO GET TO CLASS IN ONE PIECE!'

I NEVER HAD A SAILORS MOUTH, RETAINING ONLY TO PG-13 RATED CURSE WORDS, UNTIL I STARTED TO DRIVE.

ANYWAY, ENJOY.

"Can you say 'daddy'?" Raven asked as she was alone in the Tower with Lydia the next day, sitting opposite of her.

It was raining, and she knew the Titans were battling a villain outside. She could just imagine all of them catching a cold and giving it to herself and Lydia. Although she remembered that Lydia could probably heal fast, she didn't know for sure. She was lounging on the floor in front of the television, waiting for a respond from Lydia.

Lydia was a young chubby baby with dark locks of violet hair and had forest green eyes. Her thick hair was wavy and she had enough hair for Rae to start giving her a ponytail. She was able to sit on her belly and move around a bit. She was wearing a navy blue dress, with her diaper hanging.

She kept crawling over to Raven, but Rae kept moving her back on her blanket with her powers. It wasn't as though she was really far away from her. Rae wanted her to meditate first before she could touch her.

"Come on, you have already started crawling and have show signs of having powers; just say 'daddy'." She pleaded with Lydia. Lydia stared at her, but didn't know what to do.

"Bah-yu." Lydia said.

"Yes, can you say 'daddy', I'll settle for 'da-da' at least. I know you can say these words, you just choose not to say them." She said, taking Lydia's rattle and trying to get her to be interested in it. "Maybe all babies know how to say words after a certain time and just choose not to say them in order to amuse their parents."

"Di-to, bah." Lydia said as she started to play with the rattle her mother gave her.

"Yeah, yeah, di-to." She said. "Can you say 'Azarath'? No, no, you probably don't know what that means. The sooner you say 'daddy', the sooner you can learn to meditate. Just please say 'da-da'. You need some kind of chant to help you to meditate."

Raven knew that Lydia probably had no idea what she was talking about, but she figured the sooner she tried to talk to Lydia as someone who can answer back, the sooner Lydia could understand her and learn to meditate.

"I'm going to meditate." She told her nonresponsive daughter. She went into her lotus position and floated in the air. Lydia watched in admiration, even though she had seen her mother do this multiple times. "You want be up here badly, don't you? Well go on, think of a happy moment, and imagine yourself floating up while you think of that moment." Raven said without so much as opening her eyes.

Lydia rolled on her back and sat up. She only watched her mother in awe while sucking on the rattle she was given. She couldn't keep her eyes off her mother. Raven opened her eyes and saw that Lydia was sitting up, and trying to mimic Ravens legs, but could only maneuver one of her legs to bend towards her. She used her black energy to lift Lydia up in the air, and float closer to her.

Slowly, Raven reached out to grab her, letting go of the black energy. For the first time, she held her daughter in her arms. Lydia was trying to meditate, or at least be trained to meditate, and for this she was rewarded with Raven's touch.

At first Raven was terrified of holding her physically, her hands shaking as she tried to cradled Lydia in her arms, supporting her head and rocking her back and forth. Raven began to do her breathing as she was afraid her fears would get the best of her.

Lydia was astounded by the gray one touching her. For months, she had tried to grab Raven, but was always pulled away. Now, for some reason, even though it was someone new holding her, it somehow comforted her. But that only last so long before she started to cry, due to the fact that she was hungry.

Raven used her black energy to grab a bottle from the kitchen, but realizing the moment she was in, she put the bottle back. Looking down at those green eyes, she put Lydia down, and took off her loose purple top as well as unhooked her bra. She picked Lydia back up, and tried to get her interested into one of her breast. It took a while for Lydia to get the idea of what was happening, picking her left breast, and Raven tried to latch her on.

She put the nipple in her mouth and started to suck. Out came some warm milk, just like her bottle, but better then she had from any bottle. Raven pushed down on her breast to get more milk flowing out. Raven knew how to breastfeed from the books that she read and the videos that she saw, but she never thought about actually practicing it. She was just curious about mother's who breastfed, even envious.

"Shh, shh, shh. No one can harm you now. You're safe from everybody else." She whispered in her monotone.

She didn't know what prone her to say that, but she thought she should say comforting words. Slowly, Raven made her way to the couch to get in a better position, as she could hear that Lydia wasn't swallowing enough milk.

At first Lydia cried from the change, but Raven cradled her into getting her latched onto the same breast again. Lydia did so, and as she kept swallowing the milk, she gently put her hand on Raven's chest. Raven carefully grabbed it with her other hand, still breathing in and out, to control her fear. It began to rain harder outside.

"One time on a rainy day like this, I got scared. Scared, because the monsters I was battling earlier that day reminded me of Trigon. And then your father had to put on that stupid movie. My inner demons got released. Can you imagine, me scared? _I'm_ the one who scares trick or treater's on Halloween. And I don't even wear a costume." She said, trying to quietly admit to herself that she was afraid of what she was doing. "In horror movies, there's always that one person with an annoying trait who gets killed off first. Whether he was the funny one or the jerk or the stupid one, usually it's the stupid one. Guess who was the first to be caught by mommy's monster? The stupid one, your father."

Lydia was starting to latch off, but Raven pushed her lower lip down to get her to drink the milk, and she latched on again.

"Although, he probably doesn't know this, but he wasn't the first to go because he was 'the funny one', as he claims. But because he was the one person I was _most_ afraid of disappearing. His stupid chattering about movies somehow comforted me. At least for the time being. It took me years to realized why he was the first one to go. Even though he annoyed me all night, he was right after all, in the end. I was scared." She said in a calm voice. "Just like I am now. But at least you're not as annoying as your father was."

Raven heard a mug from the kitchen table explode.

"It could have been worse." She told Lydia, as if she was listening to her attentively. Raven couldn't take her eyes off of her. As she looked down, Lydia tried to catch her violet hair that looked like it was within reach to her. "If you be a good little girl, and learn to meditate, mommy will hold you more."

She began to hum to Lydia as she tried to calm her nerves down.

* * *

Raven was too much into the moment to notice the team coming into the living room.

"So, BB, how 'bout a game of—" Cyborg said as he and Garfield were walking towards the big screen. He stopped when he saw the back of Raven's bare back sitting on the couch. He didn't see anything else, but knew she was topless. Raven, again, didn't hear them coming in, their voices were miles away as she was humming to her calming tune. "Ah…..Rae?"

Raven's eyes widen as she realized the team was home, and she used a nearby blanket with her black energy to cover herself up, while still breastfeeding. Garfield, looking over to where she was, ran to the couch.

"Rae? Are you…." He said surprisingly, kneeling.

"Yes." She said smiling. She looked down to see if Lydia was still latched on. "She was trying to imitate me meditating. I thought that it was good enough to reward her, and reward myself. If she learns to meditate, I will hold her."

Garfield hugged Raven joyfully, carefully missing Lydia's body, with small tears coming out. He thought he would never see the day when she was physically holding or touching Lydia.

"Uh, should I leave?" Cyborg asked. They didn't answer him. At that moment Robin and Starfire came into the room. "I'm gonna leave then…you guys should leave too." He said to Robin and Starfire.

"Why, what's going on?" Robin said.

"Rae is, um, feeding…..her." Cyborg said uncomfortably. "You know, _naturally_. She's _holding_ her physically, and _feeding_ her."

"What?" Robin asked in surprise, he didn't say anymore and just followed Cyborg.

Starfire stayed behind to watch Garfield hugging Raven, smiling. She was not jealous anymore; she knew she shouldn't compare herself and Robin with Raven and Garfield. She and Robin had their own moments, and their own problems to discuss; Raven and Garfield weren't them. She was now content. She had gone through all the pain with wanting a child, not being pregnant, and going through the adoption process; she was now done with all of it, and just wanted to enjoy the life she had with Robin, child or no child.

She made a decision a long time ago that she was never going to be Raven, because Raven was different. Robin had argued that Starfire deserved a child, but Starfire argued that maybe it was Raven who deserved a child even more. Raven was the one who didn't have a father or much of a mother, and couldn't ever feel when she was younger. She was told as a child that she was monster, and she would be destined to plague the world with Trigon.

However, Raven fought hard to make sure Trigon wouldn't take over and tried to deal with her emotions by herself. Starfire argued that she herself had a nice childhood, despite the fact that she barely saw her parents, and that maybe it was Raven's willingness and intent to change her ugly destiny then what was told to her, that made her more deserving of a child then Starfire.

* * *

"So, what do you plan to do tonight, since Rae has taken over the living room?" Cyborg asked as he and Robin were walking in the hallway, who kept his head down. "Do you wanna go see a movie? Or possibly do some training?"

"No." Robin said as they both vigorously walked down the hall. He stopped suddenly, with Cyborg stopping as well and looking back at him. Robin looked up to Cyborg, and then looked around at his surroundings. "You go ahead, I forgot something." And with that Robin walked back to the living room with Cyborg looking perplexed.

* * *

Robin snuck up behind the doorway, and opened the door. Nobody heard it open, and so he was able to watch quietly from afar. Starfire was sitting on the couch on one side watching Raven, who was on the other side. She had switch breast and Garfield was on the floor watching. The blanket was still covering her, but Garfield just enjoyed the view he was watching. All he could hear was the suckling. Sure, it was boring, but when Raven broke her own rules or changed any normal routine, it was somehow exciting for Garfield to witness it.

Starfire was merely trying to soak up this motherly moment that she herself could not experience. Even if she wasn't the one experiencing it, it was nice that Raven was putting herself in this situation.

Robin watched Starfire intently. She was smiling and was enjoying the moment that wasn't hers. Robin looked around the room. Despite some broken cheap coffee mugs that could be easily replaced, there wasn't any damage to the room, nor was there any damage when he was out in the hall.

Maybe this child wasn't the most dangerous thing in the world. _Maybe_. It sure was making Starfire happy, and she didn't want to hear anymore of Robin's adoption proposals. While he wanted to blame Raven and Garfield for Starfire now forgetting the idea of adoption, he knew it himself that she was just tired of being rejected by the adoption agencies. And he was tired of it himself too. He thought about changing his name and identification just to obtain a child, but the press would be all over it if he was caught, and that would endanger their status and futures with government officials.

He tried to look over to where Garfield was sitting, but the couch was blocking his view. He could only imagine Garfield was smiling and enjoying himself. Occasionally Raven would look to the side, giving Robin a view of her face, and she would be beaming with happiness, if only for a few moments before resorting to her normal mood.

Robin didn't know if he should go over to Starfire or just to walk away again. He was caught between a fork in the road.

Quietly, he walked over to Starfire's side, with all of them standing up when they saw him. Garfield and Raven didn't know what to do other than to stand there and stare at him, so the only sound they could hear was Lydia's suckling. Occasionally, Raven would peak over in the blanket to see if she was still attached. Robin slowly sat down on the couch's edge, with the rest of them slowly sitting down as well. Raven looked over to Garfield, who then looked over to Starfire, who then looked up to Robin who was by her side. Robin fixed his eyes on Raven, and she didn't know what to do or say.

"I'm sorry." He said. Starfire held onto Robin's hand, and squeezed it tight.

The room fell silent, with the sound of rain pouring down on the windows and Lydia's suckling. Raven peaked over to Lydia, and decided to stop. She used her black energy to lift the blanket up to create a changing room, and block the view of herself changing from Robin and Starfire. She handed Lydia to Garfield, hesitantly, and put on her shirt that was on the floor. The blanket was lowered on the floor.

Raven had her back turned to Robin and Starfire, looking only at Garfield. Garfield tried to hand Lydia to Raven, but she wouldn't take her.

"No, not until she meditates better." She said looking at the drooling face that was sucking her thumb. Raven looked behind her, not knowing what to say, and just walk out to the hallway.

Garfield looked over to Robin and nodded towards him. Robin followed her. Raven was at the door before Robin stopped her.

"Raven?"

"No." She said in her monotone. She slowly turned to Robin. "No, no, no. I was perfectly fine with hating you. Why are you trying to be nice now? All of a sudden? For over a year now you have hated me, hated my child, and now you come in here and say 'sorry' to all of that? Why? What has changed your mind after all this time?"

"I just—"

"I was very clever when I hated you. Something about hatred makes one become intelligent and quick with their words. Nothing is more satisfying in the world then to be smarter than your enemy." She said.

"Raven, I was just—"

"Why now?" She shouted, slowly losing her temper.

"Rae, I think you should accept his apology." Garfield said. Raven stared up at him.

"But—" Raven started.

"I know." Garfield said. "I know what he has done. But the ball is now in your court, it's your chance to end this feud."

Raven couldn't say anything; she merely looked at Robin, with the sound of rain breaking the tension.

"You have to understand Robin, you have put Rae on an emotional rollercoaster for the past year, and she was just fine with hating you. But she doesn't know how to change on the spot with her emotions." Garfield explained. "I should know; she just had stared at me for the longest time when I told her I loved her for the first time."

"But this is _nothing_ like that! It's nothing like that, Beast Boy—" Raven shouted, with a light bulb exploding in the corner of the kitchen and one of the couch cushions splitting open. She didn't want the memory of her romance with Garfield to be intertwined with Robin's conceited behavior.

"It is exactly like that, Rae." He said, trying to plea with her. "Except, instead of compassion turning into love, it's hate turning into acceptance. Rae, you are in control of your emotions. Please, fight through the hate." He said, with Raven staring into his eyes like a lost puppy staring at a stranger. "You one time said it yourself that I should ignore Robin for the sake of our daughter. Well, now I am asking you to forgive and forget, for the sake of our daughter."

_No, don't listen to them; they only want to make you weak. _Rage said to her. _If you give in now, and accept his apology, he could very well see that you are weak and would try to use that against you in the future. Remember how much it felt good to hate him every time you saw him. Remember that nice sensation._

"Rae?" Garfield asked hesitantly. He could see it in Raven's eyes that she was trying to fight her inner demons. "Rae, you can fight back, just remember that Robin was one time our friend. And now he wants to make it up, remember the good memories."

_No! Don't listen to them! What good memories? What about the memory of Robin telling you were bad in bed? Remember that? Was that happy?_ Rage said.

_No, Robin is my friend, he is, he is_, she tried to reason with Rage. _I just don't know if I can forgive him now._

_No! He is not your friend! A friend wouldn't make you work with that Terra, as Robin made you!_

_What about Garfield?_ She thought to herself, as Garfield was the one who wanted Terra on the team more than anybody else.

_He was a fool in love; but now, he is in love with the right person, you! But Robin can never be forgiven. The most precious and yet agonizing moment in your life was keeping Lydia, and _he_ made it more agonizing for you then the labor pain itself!_ Rage screamed to her. Rage knew how to twist her words to convince Raven of her hate.

She began to sweat as she was trying to fight back the hatred inside of her. She was trying to think of pleasant memories or to call up the other emotions to help her defeat Rage, as Rage was getting stronger.

"Rae? Are you alright?" Robin asked, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She said her demonic voice, slapping his hand away, with her two white eyes transforming into four red ones. Robin backed up, with Garfield running over to Raven. She pointed her finger to him. "And you! Why won't you support me? We hated him together and now you are backing off? How can you betray me like that?"

"Rae, this is not you. You have got to control your Rage, or it will take over you. I support you in anything that you do, but only if it doesn't harm others. Hating Robin will harm our relationship with Robin and Starfire." Garfield said, gripping Lydia in his arms.

"Forget them then! All I need is you." She said, pleading to him.

"Rae, no." He said.

She grabbed Robin with the tentacles coming out from her side, lifting him up to the ceiling and slammed him on the floor. Her body became growing more monstrous as her hate was overtaking her.

"Raven, stop!" Garfield shouted, as he ran to Robin's side. Standing up to her, and using himself and Lydia as a shield so she wouldn't try it again. Starfire went over to Robin's side, trying to get him up before she tried it again.

"Why should I? I could end all this now!" She said in her demonic voice. "Garfield, get out of the way!"

"No!"

"It isn't harming anyone other than the one person it should harm!"

"It will harm our relationship, as….I can't love someone who would only hate!" He said sternly, trying to maintain his ground.

It was the only threat he knew that could destroy Rage in a second. Rage would try to keep the hate burning inside of Raven, but even Rage had to back off when he made that kind of statement, for Rae's love for Garfield was stronger than Rage herself. Rae's eyes went back to normal, as she collapsed on the floor.

"Beast Boy….I'm sorry…...I was just caught up in the moment and…" She said as he ran over to her side. The sight of Lydia cheered her up, but she didn't dare touch her.

"I know. It's okay." Garfield said, trying to comfort her. She got up to her feet.

"I accept, Robin." She said. This time she wasn't faking it, she was willing to accept his apology; she had too, otherwise her rage would try to consume her. Starfire helped Robin up as Raven put her hand out. Robin took it and shook it. "It's been a long battle, I'm glad you finally came around."

"What happened?" Starfire asked him, taking him into her arms.

"I just realized that I was jealous, because Lydia has been here for quite some time, and nothing has happened. So, she can't be evil or dangerous." Robin said, as he smiled, placing his hands over hers, as if he was about to break into song. "I thought it became a competition for us to have a baby, because they were having one before us. But it's not a competition. It's being parents. And winning isn't always everything, even if it was a competition."

"But you still want kids?" Starfire asked.

"Yes, someday, but not now. Maybe this is our time to just be together, and enjoy that." He looked over to the Logan's. "Because I realized something else as well, that being a parent is a lot of hard work, even for superheroes, and I already have enough responsibilities being a leader as it is." He looked back into Star's eyes. "We're still young. You're happy with Lydia; now _I'm_ happy with Lydia. Why the need to hurry up?"

Starfire kissed Robin as he wrapped his arms around her, with Cyborg walking in at the very moment.

"See? This is what I have been saying! You guys are always putting on a show with your lovy dovy routines!" He shouted as he couldn't manage the sight of anymore of Robin and Starfire making out. He whisked his head over to the right to see the Logan's posing as if they were waiting for a family photo. "What happened here?"

"Robin made up." Garfield said. "He's calling her Lydia now, instead of 'the baby'."

"OH, THANK GOD! Wonderboy finally said he was sorry! A rare event indeed!" Cyborg shouted out. "Now by gones can be by gones. And the Tower can be at peace again. We should celebrate! Because who knows when the next time he'll admit that he was wrong again!"

"Charming." Robin said sarcastically, as soon as he broke off lips with Starfire. "At least I have someone to go home to at night."

"Oh! Burn!" Starfire yelled joyfully, with everyone staring at her perplexed. "I heard it on a TV show. Isn't that what Earthlings say to insult each other?"

Everyone was silent, and then Lydia started to giggle.

* * *

It was eight months later, with Lydia turning fifteen months old. When her first birthday came around, the team just had a small party, as elaborate as Raven's sixteenth birthday party was.

Garfield and Raven were in the living room with Lydia on the floor. The others were training during this calm weather. Raven was used to wearing her maternity clothes, even though she worked off some of the pounds. She wasn't back to her original weight, but she was getting there, slowly.

"It's really beautiful at this time of day." Garfield said, gazing out at the blue, purple and orange sky with little fragments of clouds pieces drifting above them. The team probably had the best view of the city.

"It is." She said.

She was sitting on the floor and him sitting on the couch watching Lydia play with her toys. She could sit up, babble nonsense words, and pull herself up on the couch. Raven started to comb her hair into a ponytail, so her hair could be out of her face.

"I was thinking," Garfield said, with Raven looking up at him. "That I could take care of her from time to time when the team is out. And that you could go out with them."

"That wouldn't be fair to you, because you take care of her as soon as you get home. I just watch the two of you, but I don't do anything then. Technically, you're the one who's giving her the bottles and the diaper changes right now."

"We could just switch the routine then. When you're done fighting, you could take over, and then I'll just watch the two of you." He said. "She needs to be held more often then what you're giving her when you're alone."

"I don't know if the team would feel—"

"I already talk to them; they said it would be cool. They would love to have you back on the team." He said. "Why are you shooting me down? Don't you want to get back to fighting crime?"

"Yes, but—"

"And I want to spend more time with her alone. It won't be that much trouble. Wasn't _I_ the one who wanted to have a baby? You get to have her during the 'fun' times."

"The 'fun' times?" She said, with a smile peering over her face. "Was that supposed to be a joke, because it was funny either way?"

"Well, you know what I mean. When she is awake, looking at you and trying to talk. But then I get her when she just wants to sleep, eat, and be changed." He said.

"She does that to me too, she's a baby—"

"Rae. You know what I mean. I think you really miss being on the team." He said in a serious tone. She looked away and looked back up at him.

"And how long did it take for you to come up with the other excuses, since this is really about me getting back on the team?" She said, with a small smile on her face.

"Rae, I just really want to have some good old quality—" He said, trying to sound convincing.

"Garfield." She said.

"About an hour." He admitted. "Hell, I ask the team what I should say, and they said 'say something about the fact that you want to spend some quality time with Lydia'. They obviously don't know how much time I spend with her _already_. I had to make up the other stuff."

"I know; she said her first actual word a couple of weeks ago, 'mama'." She said, gazing at him suspiciously. "I've been trying to get her to say 'dada'. How can she possibly say the word 'mama' when I have been saying the word 'dada'?" Garfield chuckled uncomfortably.

"Well, I guess she's a genius?" He said, trying to convince Raven through his guilty smile. "Or maybe I have been saying the word 'mama' for quite some time when I am with her." He admitted. "She'll say 'dada' soon too."

"But that wasn't fair. I was trying to do something nice for you." She said.

"But I was doing the same thing. I just won at it." He said triumphantly.

"Say 'dada'." Raven demanded to Lydia, with her plain monotone, looking down at her with a hope that she might say the word 'dada' to get even.

"Is that how you talk to her?"

"Well, I'm certainly not going to do a cutesy voice like Cyborg does. I want to talk to her like she can hear me and respond with good vocabulary." She said to him. "You can do things your way; I'll do things my way. Say 'dada'." She said back to Lydia. "Please."

"Ma-ma?" Lydia said, pointing to Raven. "Ma-ma."

"What I don't understand is how she knows what 'mama' even means?" She said, looking back to Garfield.

"Well, maybe I happen to have your picture every time I trained her." He said. "So, will you join the team again? And get back into your sexy uniform?" He asked as he raised one of his eyebrow.

"You think my uniform is sexy, do you?" She asked, looking down at her long, purple, muslin dress. "So, you don't find this look particularly sexy? I know what you're trying to do. It's just hormones, control yourself."

"Hey, maybe I have some emotions _I_ can't control." He said deviously. He turned into a cat and walk over to Raven, with Lydia widening her eyes to the furry animal.

"Ca-ca." She said, pointing to Garfield.

"I'm guessing that's her way of saying 'cat'." She said to the animal that was gently rubbing his head on her arm. "Garfield, I know full well what you are trying to do." She said as she petted his head.

He then transformed into a small tiger cub, with small black strips on his side. He stretched out, and made a small roar.

_Keep going, keep going, he's almost there_, Lust screamed in her head. _Quiet Lust! _She thought. She tried to play with Lydia instead of watching him. However, Lydia's eyes were on the strange animal that was more entertaining than anything she had ever seen.

"Come on, Lydia. Say 'dada'. Say 'stupid dada'. Say 'dada can't have mommy tonight, for she is not feeling the same'." She said to Lydia, who wasn't paying attention to her.

Raven looked back at the tiger cub, who was pretending to fight an invisible enemy. She was becoming dehydrated as he kept sprinting back and forth. He then saw that he caught Raven's attention, and transformed into a full grown tiger, with the strips reaching all the way around his back and over his belly. He started to make small roars, but Lydia started to cry.

"You're scaring her!" Raven shouted, but then Lydia quiet down after he stopped. He began to prance around the living room. His muscles were moving up and down as he walked gracefully. "Now, you're scaring me." She said quietly to herself.

"Hey, what's going on in here?" Cyborg shouted as he ran in. "I heard a roar. I guess that was you." He said when he saw the green tiger, and looked over to the sweating Raven. "Rae, are you okay? What's going on?"

"I'm fine." She said, as she looked over to Lydia. "Can you look after Lydia for the night? She's already been changed and fed. But there are some more bottles in the fringe."

"Sure, I guess, but what's going—" Cyborg said, but before he could finished his sentence, Garfield, in his tiger form, and Raven both ran past him to their room. Cyborg went over to Lydia and watched her play. "Your mommy and daddy are both crazy. Yes, they are! Yes, they are!" He said in his cutesy voice.

* * *

They both raced for their room. Garfield won just because he was in his tiger form. He transform back into his human form, pulling Raven closer to him, and forcing her back against the door. He began caressing her back, as they both lock lips together. He started to kiss her neck.

"You're lucky Garfield; I was _kind of_ in the mood before, which is why I am here. But don't you ever do that again." She said, as she once again locked lips with him.

"(_kiss)_ But I will do it again, and numerous times too." He said as he kissed her again. "Also, for the time being, (_kiss)_ call me Beast Boy." She gave him a devilish smile, as they both sprinted into their room.

They both striped down each other's clothes, trying to speed up the foreplay that they were doing. Raven used her black energy to light candles around the room, creating a well lit atmosphere. Garfield picked up Raven and tossed her on the bed, her naked body already warm and ready for him. He stopped to put on his condom before he joined her on the bed.

"So?" She asked him, as he was getting into position. "Am I that out of shape? How can I be a part of the team when I haven't—?"

"You look fine." Garfield said as he was kissing her neck and shoulder, waiting for her signal to start.

She turned her neck, so that he may kiss more of her, but her mind was still on her body. She wasn't insecure. Well, she was, but not because she wanted to look good, but because she wanted to be in shape. There was a difference. She was getting closer and closer to her original weight, but she didn't think she was fit to outrun villains and use her powers effectively in a battle.

"Just a few more training sessions, and (_kiss_) you could beat _me _up." He said suggestively.

"But you'll lose on purpose, because you would _like_ that." She said suggestively. "_Beast Boy_." She added, staring at his eyes. With that, Garfield came closer to her. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…"

He thrusted up and down, with Rae chanted her mantra to him as if it was a demand rather than a chant. She kept her head up, with eyes closed, allowing Garfield to work her body. At first she kept her hands on her pillows, next to her face, but then she reached out, caressing his strong arms that were next to her stomach. She then gripped onto them, something she never had done before. His arms were just so damn sexy to her, and the fact that they were strong and muscular, just made it more alluring to her.

"Az-ARATH, MEN-trion, zinthos….." She said as he kept thrusting and she herself tried to keep up, although she did feel something was off.

He kept his arms on the bed, to try and keep himself balanced, even though she held onto them. He then moved one of his hands to the bed frame, to try and to get closer to a certain sensitive spot of Rae's, with Rae's one hand moving up to his shoulder. His hands became sweating and the steam left an imprint of his hand on the wooden bed frame. His eyes were closed as he was trying to concentrate, just as she was too, but he was trying to concentrate on how to make this trip enjoyable rather than her own reason.

Her knees started to slowly lift up as he was thrusting faster, with her feet firmly planted on the bed. Even though this posed as a challenge, for the certain position he was in, he tried to overcome it. Part of their experiences was to overcome challenges.

"Aza-RATH, men-TRION, ZIN-thos…" She said in a weak tone. Sometimes she would chant in a weak tone if they were close to the climax, and she was becoming exhausted, but they weren't anywhere near the desired climax, and this worried Garfield.

He opened his eyes once to see her face and to see if she was satisfied. Her feet weren't twitching. She was stretching her head out, as if she was calling out her spiritual guide. Her eyes were closed, and her face cringed, almost as if she was in pain.

"Rae…..I'm…..not…hurting….you….am I?..." He asked, as he continued to thrust, for fear if she was actually enjoying herself and he was being paranoid. Raven didn't say anything, but chanted once again.

"….a….little…." She said after a while, when she thought it was okay to talk. She didn't want to say anything in the beginning, but now that he asked, she wanted to make her needs known. "You…went too….fast…and too….hard…..too early….azarath, mentrion, zinthos….."

He slowed down and went back to his original position, as Rae went back to hers. Maybe she changed her position because he changed his, and it was giving her problems. She might have demanded him to go faster with her chanting, but only because he started off going too fast in the first place.

It took a while for them to get back into a nice routine; starting over again, he started off slow until he would occasionally speed up. They both started to feel the desirable climax. Rae held onto his neck and lifted her head and body up a bit so he could feel more, and she too.

Both their bodies were doused with sweat. She kept her mouth open between each chant for she was becoming dehydrated. Her hair becoming frizzy, as the sweat acted as a hair spray to her soft yet stringy hair.

She got a hold unto his back, and elevated her body in order to sit up. When they were both equally above the bed, she decided that she wanted to take over. She started to thrust faster than he was thrusting; making him realized what she was trying to do. He slowly moved his legs from a kneeling position to wrapping around her hips, as he slowly laid down on the edge of the bed.

When he lay down, she moved her legs as well, and was hovering over him, trying to mimic his starting position she had seen him done numerous times.

"I….always…did like…..a woman….on…top…." He said as he tried to get comfortable on the wrong side of the bed.

She came closer to him as she continued to thrust. He caressed her dangling breast gently as he was enjoying the ride she was giving him. The climax was already on its way when she switched positions, allowing Garfield to just sit back and relax. He held onto her back as she approach the finale.

"Az-ARATH, MEN-trion, ZINTHOS…." She shouted, as she fell on top on him, embracing him.

They both breathed heavily, as they got up to go over to right side of the bed. Garfield spooned Raven into his arms, with her back facing him.

"What made you do that, Rae?" He asked, twirling her sweaty hair with his one hand.

"I just wanted to say 'thank you'." She said, going back to her monotone.

"For what?" He asked; he didn't have a clue to what she was talking about.

"For getting me back on the team." She said, turning her head around to look at him. "I'm going to start a rigorous training session tomorrow. And soon enough I can join the team for a mission."

"So, you are going back, then?" He asked smiling, staring into her lavender eyes. "I told you, you wouldn't regret this."

"As long as you promise me you will teach her to meditate." She said in a stern voice. "I'm serious Garfield."

"Oh, I've been demoted to Garfield already, doesn't Beast Boy sound good now." He said suggestively. She didn't change her facial expression. "Okay, okay, I promise."

"Okay then." She said, giving him a quick kiss before she turned her head back to face the window. "Goodnight, _Beast Boy_." She said with a hint of a smile.

SEE YOU GUYS IN A WEEK.


	10. Chapter Nine Lied

THIS ONE IS A LONG ONE, SO MAYBE IT WORKED OUT BECAUSE OF THE DELAYS THAT I WOULD HAVE SUCH A LONG CHAPTER AFTERWARD.

It was an awkward transition at first, with Raven not fully capable of taking down villains or criminals by herself without assistant. She would have to stop occasionally in the middle of a battle in order to focus better, or her powers would become uncontrollable, but within a few battles and training sessions, she was back in action. It was nice to have her 'sexy' uniform back on, even if it was a bit tight.

"Titans, there's a robbery going on at the art museum!" Robin shouted out to the team when the alarm rang. The Logans were in the living room, with Raven giving quick goodbyes.

"Remember, don't hurt yourself. There's someone at home waiting for you." Garfield said. He was on the floor opposite of Lydia. Raven smiled before she ran out of the room, her blue cape being the last thing he saw before he put his attention to Lydia.

Now it was Garfield's turn to see the team fly away from the window, watching the misty morning sky. It was barely eight o'clock in the morning and already villains were on the run. Criminal activity in Jump City had skyrocket since the news of Raven having a baby became public. Thinking they could be a lot more efficient with one less Titan, they have been working the city ever since. However, there still were four capable Titans ready to kickass, and they did. Nobody ever said that criminals were very clever, if they were, they wouldn't get caught.

"Duty calls." Garfield said in a soft voice to the dark, messy, violet hair girl, who was still in her white onesie. She was lying on her belly, looking up at the green one, who was still in his pajamas with her green eyes.

"Ma-ma?" She babbled, as she pointed to the hallway door.

"Yeah, mama went bye-bye." He said.

"Bye-bye?" She repeated.

"Well, once you learn one word, it seems like you could learn them all." He said, still in his soft voice, reaching out for the brush that was on the floor. He yawned as he pulled Lydia up to his lap. He gently brushed her hair into a ponytail. "Now, mama doesn't like bows, but dada thinks you need a bow." He said as he picked up a piece of pink ribbon that was lying on the floor.

"Ma-ma?" She said, hearing the words from him. While he was tightening the bow, she threw her hands up on her hand, feeling the strange knot. When she grazed his fingers, she grabbed it, with him allowing it, as she put the two fingers she had in her mouth. The bites didn't hurt him, despite the fact that she had a few teeth already grown in.

"I wonder if we could use this trick to get her to eat vegetables, she would just think it's my fingers." He said to himself. "Now I know mama is worried that you aren't developing enough. I think you're just fine. She worries too much, even though she doesn't show it; or admit it."

Lydia got up and crawled over to the window with the morning sun shining. She pressed on the cold glass, as she slowly stood up. She banged on the glass as if she was playing on the drums.

"Da?" She said.

"Well, that's close enough for me. Or are you just babbling?" He said, getting up to make some coffee.

"Ga-ga, ma-ja." She babbled.

"Can you say mama?" He shouted across the room as he turned on the machine.

"Ma-ma." She said.

"Now, can you say dada?" He asked walking back to her.

"Da-da?" She said as she banged the glass.

"Yes!" He said excitingly, picking her up and tossing her in the air. "Dada." He said in a cutesy voice. Rocking her in his arms he pointed to himself. "Dada."

"Da-da!" She said. She pointed to Garfield. "Da-da?"

"Yes!" He said in his cutesy voice.

"Da-da!"

"Yes! Me, dada!" He said, tossing her up in the air again. "You know, it is satisfying to beat up criminals, but not as satisfying as these moments." He said, holding her in his arms as she tried to reach out to touch his face. "I don't understand why mama wants to fight bad guys instead of being here."

"Ga." She said.

"Are you trying to say 'green'? Are you making fun of me?" He said to her. "I really do love your mama," He said in a serious tone. "But, I don't think she has your best interest at heart. I think she forgets that you are mostly human. I almost think she wants someone else to live like she did when she was young, so she could feel closer to you."

"Ma-ma?" She babbled.

"You're right; I'll talk to her about it instead of rambling on." The coffee machine beeped. "I'll be right back; don't grow up while I'm gone." He said as he put her back on the floor. She crawled over to the window and started banging again.

* * *

It was a long day before Raven came back home. Again, criminals thought that they succeed with just four Titans all over the city, they were sadly mistaken. And it was these mistakes which made the team come home late some days.

"Were they surprised when they saw you?" Garfield asked as he was putting Lydia in her crib that night. He didn't change his pajamas the whole day; he simply put on a new pair when it was time for bed.

"They always are." Raven said, putting on her own pajamas for the night. She had taken a shower the moment she came home. "And then they would say 'I thought you were knocked up, where's the kid?', although they would say it in bad grammar."

"Do they ever questioned why I am not there, or do they just figure it out?" He said, tucking Lydia in, even though he knew she wouldn't go to sleep for another hour or so.

"They're common criminals; they're lucky enough to even know what day it is, if their brains allow them to." She said, already slipping into bed. She looked over to Garfield, who was still staring at Lydia. "Do you think of me as a bad mother, because I rather be fighting then be at home? Like my own mother?" She asked timidly.

"No. I mean, what made you think—" He asked, looking at her surprised.

"Garfield, it doesn't take much for me to read your mind—"

"I wish you would stop doing that." He said sadly. "Rae, sometimes what I think is private. And as much as I would like to tell you these things, you don't give me enough time to come up with a compelling argument. So, you bring it up at the worst time, and I don't know what to say." She didn't know how to react.

"Reading your thoughts has never bothered you before." She said, a little taken aback. This had never bothered him before, so she was surprised that he would all of sudden complain. "In fact, sometimes you say that you're glad I can read your mind, so that way _I_ can start the conversation when you're afraid to."

"Well yeah, but—"

"—But what? I thought I was helping you start the conversation, but now you think I'm invading your privacy. Well, which is it? You can't have it both ways Mr. Logan." She said a little irritated, but she tried to hide it. He took a deep breath in and exhaled. She looked down. "I'm sorry; I probably shouldn't listen to your thoughts, but I can't help it. Although, I thought you would tell that one particular thought to me tonight anyway. I misjudge."

She picked up her book and started to read. He looked down at Lydia who had surprising fell asleep during their bicker. He sighed before making his way to the bed. She didn't look at him as he wrapped the blankets around his side; she tried to get interested in her book, but he knew that she was upset.

"I _was_ going to bring it up tonight, but you beat me to it, and I guess I was afraid I would lose if you started the conversation. And I don't want to lose." He said looking over to her, she put her book down and glanced at him. "I really don't mind you reading my thoughts. Ignore what I said earlier, I was being moody. It's almost a relief to me."

"Relief, how—"

"Because, you probably know a lot about my dark secrets and the dirty details about my past." He said. She didn't say anything, but merely looked back down. She was ashamed that she knew so much. Even the little details Garfield would leave out in his stories, she would know anyway. "Well, it's comforting to know that you still married me, even after all the secrets you learned."

"Well, nobody's perfect Garfield." She said, blushing. "The problem is that you think _I_ am. And it's hard to live up to that standard, even when I tell you I'm not."

"Well, that's just what a perfect person would say." He said, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry." He waited for a respond, but she turned away. "I just don't understand why you would rather be out there, then at home."

"I have many emotions, and it's hard to keep them locked up. When I battle someone, it's a chance to release everything I can't do at home." She said, staring back at him. "It's easier to come home, and then take care of someone else, already wearing out my emotions for the day, then to bottle them up otherwise. Maybe that's why my lust could be turned at a moment's notice whenever I stay at home, because my other emotions couldn't be released, and my lust would jump at the chance when you give it one."

"Then you're not a bad mom, Rae." He said, she looked down, not believing him. He raised her chin. "You just want to have it all, go to work and then come home to your second job. I guess, I just didn't understand before because I would rather be home with her then go out to fight any day of the week." He said.

"I can understand that, you wanted her more than I did." She said sadly. "You had more to say though. I know what you are thinking. I _do_ know that she is mostly human, but I am still afraid of her small Demonic side. As for the thought about me wanting Lydia to live a life like myself when I was young, so I can relate to her more—"

"Rae, I didn't mean it—"

"—You're right." She said, looking at a confused Garfield. "You're right. She doesn't need the strict lifestyle I want her to have. Before I wanted her to live normally, but then I saw my mother, and somehow that just reminded me of…..of….." He could see that she wasn't able to finish her sentence. Afraid that she would breakdown emotionally and destroy something, he quickly kissed her on her lips to distract her thoughts.

"Forget about the past." He said softy when he broke it off. "We'll figure it out in time how much damage she can do, but for now let's keep the past in the past. So, are you going to start holding her, then?" She nodded slowly, as if it was a demand rather then a question. "And if anything goes wrong, we can always go back to the way things were." He kissed her again.

"Why do you always make everything sound so simple when it's not?" She said, breaking his lips.

"Because I make things sound good." He said, kissing her again.

"Despite your bad grammar." She said.

* * *

Three months went by, with Garfield taking over as a full time dad. He still had to work out, just to stay in shape, and be on the lookout from the Tower, but he figured he wasn't going to battle villains or criminals for a long time. He would have to wait at least until Lydia was old enough to stay in the Tower for long periods of time. And if he was really needed on the team, he could always call the other Titans across the country to help them. That is, if they could handle the job.

Titan members from across the country were always hooking up or getting married. Raven and Garfield's relationship wasn't anything unusual, even if it was _Raven and Beast Boy, _something that was a little surprising to the other group of Titans, but they all still showed up for the wedding nevertheless. What _was _unusal then the other romances was the fact that Raven and Garfield were the first to have a child together, something the other's had not simply thought of in their twenties.

The Logan's didn't officially have a baby shower, mostly because of Robin, so there wasn't that much of an announcement. It was the media that made it public. Even though Lydia was sixteen months old, the Logan's seemed to be getting baby presents from the other Titans every few months or so. In fact, Lydia's crib was a gift from Bumblebee, who was going out with Cyborg at the time, before he broke it off, once again.

Sometimes, if the Jump City newspaper didn't have a story to run, they would try to run a story about Lydia. It didn't seem to do any harm in the beginning, but Robin had to remind the team that fame wasn't always the greatest, because with fame comes attention, and with attention comes unwanted attention. For the most part, the team was able to avoid unwanted attention, and tried to keep Lydia out of the spotlight when they were sometimes interviewed, if ever.

That is, until one day.

"Titans, there's an armed robbery happening at one of the major banks!" Robin called out on a Wednesday afternoon. "We have to be careful with this one, because there's a threat of a bomb somewhere inside the bank, but we don't know where yet."

"Be careful." Garfield said before he kissed Raven goodbye. Usually they weren't all that sentimental with their goodbyes, but whenever it was a dangerous mission, with the threat of someone not coming back, they had too.

"I will." She said, before she fled with the others. Garfield just watched her sadly as she left, before he took his attention back to Lydia.

Her hair was growing rapidly, with Raven wanting to cut it since it grew so long. However, Garfield liked it long, and he insisted that she would wear ribbons. When Raven could, she would take it out, and when _he_ could, he put it back on. Lydia had on a blue bow today. She was wearing a simple light blue dress with small, yellow, buttercup flowers designed on the edge of the hem. She comprehended certain words while maintaining her limited vocabulary.

"Dada, blank-blank." She said, sitting opposite on the floor with him, he had on jeans with a plain black T-shirt. He gave her the small, brown blanket lying on the couch, which had pictures of selective African scenery on it, with a couple of wild animals scatter around. She grabbed the blanket. "Mine."

"Yes, 'yours'." He said. "This is where Daddy comes from. And see these animals," pointing to the various animals. "They have these kinds of animals, which you can't see here in the wild, except in the zoos. But Daddy can turn into these animals."

"Ani-mie?" She asked, pointing to the lion. "Dada, ani-mie?"

"You want to see a lion?" He asked softly.

"Ly-ing?" She said. He got up and transformed into a lion. At first this made her distraught, as she thought her Daddy went away, but then the lion started to lick her. This made her giggle with excitement and fell down from the lickings. "Ly-ing!"

It seemed all great, with Garfield's lion form dazzling Lydia. He probably should explain later that animals are not always that friendly, but for the moment all was well. However, Garfield in his lion form could hear better, and it was after a while he could hear something strange in the distant.

At first he didn't think much of it, but after a minute or so, the sound kept getting louder and louder. He stopped his rough housing with her, and tried to listen carefully. The frequency was getting louder, and it was after he stopped that he realized that his instincts were right; whatever it was, it was going to hit the Tower.

"Dada?" She asked, wondering if the creature was her father after all, or if her father really _did_ disappear.

At that moment Garfield transformed into a pterodactyl, grabbed Lydia by the back of her collar, and then flew away behind the couch as two of the front windows shattered into a million pieces. He then used his wings to protect her and himself from the glass that was flying everywhere. He waited for destruction and the smoke to settle down before he transformed into a gorilla to try to see what exactly happen, having a strong grip on Lydia.

There was glass everywhere, with the TV and part of the room destroyed from the explosion; luckily the couch was able to be protective shield for them, even if it did end up being covered in glass and was breaking from the seams. He had multiply injuries from the glass slicing his skin, but he was still able to fight. With Lydia petrified in his arms, he saw three men. Two of them were tall and slender and one was short and muscular who were all dressed in light blue, long-sleeve, leather jumpsuits, with white leather, half-finger gloves. They were all wearing white masks that covered half their face.

"I thought that explosion was going to be quicker? What it took so long?" The first guy said to the second one, not yet noticing Garfield hiding behind the couch, as one of them was struggling to climb inside the window, with the first guy helping him up.

"Relax…it was quiet enough not for the Titans across the city to hear it." The second guy said, as he was able to successfully climb in. "They have a bomb to worry about." Garfield put Lydia down, transforming back into his original self.

"It's quiet time now." He whispered to her. "Remember what I told you? I'm going to hide you in the cabinets," grabbing the blanket from her, "you'll have your blanket to protect you and you will be very quiet while Daddy gets rid of these men. Shh, shh…" He said, as he could see she was about to cry aloud. She was already upset, and had tears coming down her face, but she hadn't yet screamed out. "Daddy will be right back."

He discreetly snuck her into the kitchen with his monkey form, and put her in one of the empty pantries. When she settled down, he gently put the blanket over her, and quietly closed the pantry. He didn't want to announce to the villains that he knew they were there, so instead of saying anything, he just transformed into a ram and knocked one of them down, who had hit the top of the couch. He had learned long ago that when you have a chance to attack, just attack and don't talk.

Before the second man had a chance to react, Garfield already knocked him over with his horns, making him hit the wall. He then transformed into a gorilla to attack the third man, as the man was taking out some small explosive discs and began to throw them at Garfield. Garfield was able to dodge each of them, just barely able to outrun the small explosion as it wasn't any stronger then a smoke bomb. He punch the man hard, so hard that he fell back to the open window, and held onto the edge with both hands, as he was slowly losing his grip on it. However, the broken glass was cutting into his hands and the more he held onto the side, the deeper the glass carved into his skin.

While the third man was struggling not to fall to his death, the first man, who was knocked over on the side of the couch, came back by throwing his explosives discs as well at Garfield. Garfield charged to him, even though he got hit by the discs a couple of times. However, this man was the muscular one of the group, and was able to try to wrestle with Garfield, even in his gorilla form.

While Garfield was trying to beat the first man, the second man had recovered from his fall. He saw that he was bleeding from the hip, but he had to finish the job, otherwise the whole scheme would be done in vain, and he would face serious charges from the authorities. He quietly walked over to the hallway door, looking back to see if Garfield had seen him yet. Garfield's back was to him, and so the man snuck into hallway, with the door not being heard by Garfield.

Lydia was in the pantry not too long before she decided that she didn't like the dark. She quietly opened the pantry, but didn't see anything, only smoke, for she wasn't facing the fight. She sucked her thumb, and was crying quietly, as she didn't know what was going on. However, she didn't want to explore, because Daddy told her to stay quiet, and from the sound of the fight, she didn't want to see it either.

She held onto her blanket tightly, as it comforted her, and reminded her of Daddy. She was old enough to know when to be quiet, and when to be serious. Or maybe it was because she was smart enough to know. Either way, the sounds that she heard felt like she was in some kind of Hell, with each passing second becoming torturing hours for her. As she was thinking about her Daddy, her blanket became covered in black energy, and slowly floated above her, dancing in circles around her.

At first she was frighten by her blanket doing that, but she remembered her mother doing such tricks. She thought that maybe her mother was close by, and this comforted her too. She tried to be hypnotized by the dancing blanket, trying to ignore the sounds coming from outside. She thought about her mother, and kept thinking to herself that she wanted her to come home, even if she was 'at work'.

Garfield was able to turn into a lion while the first man was losing his energy. Garfield then clawed and scratch at his face, until the pain was too much to bear for the man, and he fell from exhaustion. Garfield turned around to try to find the last man, the second man he took down, as he wasn't anywhere in sight. However, since he had time, he went to check on Lydia. He opened the pantry.

"Lydia, are you alright?" He asked, and then was astonished to find her blanket floating inside with black energy.

"Da-da!" She screamed out as she hugged him tight, crying on his shoulder. She ignored the gruesome injuries he had. "Oh, Da-da! Scary! Scary!" Trying to tell him that she was scared the whole time.

"It's okay, Little Lydia, it's okay." He said softly as he gently picked her up.

He tried to find his communicator, as he was rubbing Lydia's back, calming her down. Her blanket lifted up to her side, behind Garfield's back, and she grabbed it. However, even though she grabbed it, it still was stained with the black energy, but it didn't hurt her, it just felt like a misty breeze.

"I can't find the communicator." He said to himself, almost shaking with her in his arms.

He was sweaty, out of breath, and had multiply open wounds. Four deep slits on his leg, multiply small bruises on his abdomen and face, and multiply small cuts around his arms. He was at his wits end; he just knocked down three men, with one missing, and he didn't know how much time he had before he was tested again.

However, fortunately at that moment the rest of the Titans had returned home, flying through the two broken windows, with Raven giving Cyborg a lift with one of her black energy disc, and Starfire holding onto Robin. Raven didn't even bother to look at what happened to the living room, she flew to Garfield.

"Oh, thank God, thank God you're home!" He said, almost ready to faint.

"Beast Boy! Thank Azarath you're alright!" Raven screamed as she embraced him. "Thank Azarath, thank Azarath." She whispered as she didn't let go for a couple of minutes.

When she broke off, she took Lydia and gave her to Starfire, with Raven forcing him to sit down so she could see his wounds.

"What happen—" Garfield tried to ask.

"You are seriously injured. I'm going to try to heal, but it might sting." She interrupted him, in her monotone, horrify by his injuries. She could usually stomach seeing him in pain, but from the afternoon she had, she almost thought he was certainly dead. She was still in shock.

"What about…the bomb? I was only…going to call on one of you guys, why are you all—" Garfield asked as Raven was trying to steady her hand and started to close the open cuts.

"The bomb was all a hoax." Robin said, looking over the room. "There was a robbery alright, with the intent on stealing the money, but the real target was here."

"A bunch of thugs got together—possibly a couple gangs—and decided to try to pull the ultimate scheme." Cyborg said, as he lifted up the guy hanging from the window, and proceeded to put handcuffs on him as he forced him to sit down in the corner.

"What…scheme?..." Garfield said, looking down at Raven, who was still busy healing him. She was trying to concentrate, and didn't want to answer, for fear of releasing too much of her emotions.

"The robbery was a distraction, one that we fell for." Starfire said, as she tried to rock Lydia, who was still holding onto her blanket that was floating in the air. "The plan was to distract us, the Titans, and to attack the Tower, to…to…"

"….to kidnap Lydia, or worse." Robin finished for her. He waited for Cyborg to handcuff the other man who was lying on the floor almost unconscious, before he looked at Garfield. "They thought that if Lydia was kidnapped…or if they did something worse….that you two would be so hysterical from the situation, that you wouldn't be able to stay together any longer. And that you would eventually leave the team….or do something worse."

"They thought that way there would only be three Titans, or less, if more than one of us was shaken by the tragedy. And that the criminals could have a better run of the city." Cyborg said, trying to find anybody else. "Was there anybody else?"

"There was a third man…but, I don't know where he went…" Garfield said. "How did you guys learn—"

"It didn't take a lot to find out there wasn't a bomb. It also didn't take long to find out by one of the weaker criminals what was going on." Robin said. "Also, Raven could hear Lydia crying from her telepathy, as well as hearing her _scream_ out to her that she wanted Raven desperately to come back home from work because some men were attacking you. We then hurried home."

"The last guy is probably trying to find her in her room." Cyborg said, going out into the hallway to find the last man.

"For about a year now, criminals thought that they could outsmart us since there are only four of us, but they forget that there are _still_ four of us." Robin said to Garfield, but he saw that Garfield wasn't paying attention to him as he looked down to Raven.

She was sweaty, just as much as he was, she didn't have a scratch on her, but she seemed to be hurt by the thoughts in her head. She tried to avoid eye contact with him as she went over his lightly bruised skin, which was at first open cuts, bleeding profusely. She was trying to heal him quickly, avoiding eye contact in order to get better concentration.

"Raven?..." He said, trying to get her to look at him. She ignored his comment. "Raven, what happened?" He asked, as he raised her chin to his face. She slowly looked into his eyes, as she burst out crying, hugging him tight.

"Check on the two men, as I check on Cyborg." Robin said to Starfire, as if he wanted to try to give them some privacy.

"Raven, what's wrong? I'm the one…in pain…" He said, as she broke from his embrace. The broken glass in the room were covered by black energy, and slowly started to float above the team. Starfire didn't question it, and tried to dodge the flying pieces.

"Don't think if I got hurt, that I would just cry from that." She said sternly, trying to erase her tears. She sighed; she tried to calm her breathing. "The moment we were told that the real target was the Tower, I heard Lydia crying. She-she was _extremely_ loud in her thoughts, and-and from the way she-she was phrasing things, I thought that you…..I thought that you…."

"That I what? That I was dead?" He asked, as he was able to regain some of his strength. Nobody said anything for a few seconds, which gave him his answer.

"Yes." She finally confessed, as small tears came rolling down her face. "And then, to come…..to come home to you, in this condition. I'm just glad that I was able to heal you when I could."

Garfield came down from his chair in order to level with her, as she was kneeling below him to heal the wounds on his legs. He embraced her sweaty body, as he no longer was shaking from before, but she was. He was glad that the first thing she was worried about was him, and not taking her attention on the men in the living room, who could have easily been a target for her rage. Most of her sentimental emotions had come out that day, and it was already too much for her, so Rage was certainly the last thing she could think about, or even to feel.

"As soon as I heard Lydia, I was insistent upon coming home." She said. "But the others didn't want to rush into-into anything; for fear that the-the criminals were telling us another lie, just like-like the bomb. But-but as soon as they saw me on the floor, as if an invisible forced knocked me down, being beaten up by-by the thoughts in my head, because L-Lydia continued to scream, they figured it was the truth, and we-we rushed home."

"I managed to keep things…under control." He said, as he was still recovering from the large cut on his hip. He brushed away the frizzy hair from her face. "I hid Lydia under the pantry…and…"

"She's alright?" She asked.

"Yes, but her blanket started to float in the air, it still is." He said, pointing to Starfire, who was holding Lydia. Raven saw the blanket covered in black energy that was following Lydia around as Starfire was walking back and forth between the two men. "I hope you weren't that upset, for your….powers to reach all the way to the Tower….I'm sorry Rae, about today….."

"I'm not doing that." She said, staring at the blanket. "That blanket isn't floating because of me, it's Lydia."

"How do you know—"

"Beast Boy, I can sense what my powers are doing; the glass is me, but I'm not doing that to the blanket." She said. "How long did you say it's doing that?"

"I don't know? Raven, there are more important matters at hand….are you alright?" He said, caressing her hands. She looked into his eyes.

"I am now." She said, finally able to steady her breathing.

"Found him!" Cyborg yelled out to the rest of the team in living room as he and Robin came in carrying the last man on his shoulders and put him down in the corner of the living room with the rest of them. "He was hiding out in Starfire and Robin's room; he got distracted by her lingerie. Pervert."

"You were distracted by an alien's panties? We could have had her, but instead you—" One of the less injured man said to the other.

"It doesn't matter anyway guys; Lydia wasn't even in her room." Robin commanded over their voices. "Not only are you guys and the rest at the bank are going to jail for attempt theft, assault and battery, but also for kidnapping, and if we could, attempt in the first degree murder—"

"—Robin, not in front of Raven." Garfield interrupted over him. This would usually irritate Robin, for he didn't want to be talked down in front of criminals, but he let that comment slide. Robin walked up to Garfield.

"Beast Boy, why don't you and Raven clock out for the day?" Robin said as he lowered his voice. "I have to read them their Miranda rights, and arrest them. Then we have to clean up the Tower. It's been a long day. For all of us. Today I thought I would have to defuse a bomb, but now I have to deal with a murder—I'm sorry—a kidnapping case. You guys can help clean up later." Robin said.

"Okay, thanks." Garfield said. Starfire handed Lydia to Raven. Raven slowly lowered the glass to the floor and put all the pieces in a pile, to make it easier for the team to clean up. They headed for their room, being hopeful that it was still in one piece.

* * *

"Are you healing okay?" Raven asked as she put Lydia down on the floor in their bedroom. All the candles in the room lit up, making Lydia look over to them. Raven looked over his wounds once again, checking to see if there was anything more she could do.

"I told you, Rae, I'll be….fine." He said, as he groaned when she gently placed her hand over one of the deep cuts. The cut had closed, but it was still bruised and swollen.

"Fine, huh?" She said, responding to his groan. She used her energy to heal that cut again. "Don't act so tough; you need to be honest with me so you can be healed properly." She looked up at his tired face, with a small cut near his lip, becoming swollen. She lightly touched his face, but it only healed up a little. He couldn't put up with his tough shtick with her.

"That one cut above my knee is really bothering me." He said, with her smiling when he confessed. She placed her hand on his left knee, slowly relieving the pain he was experiencing.

"Ma-ma!" Lydia shouted, as she wanted to be comforted. She held out her hands, with one of them still holding the black energy blanket.

"Shh, shh, it's okay." Raven said as she held Lydia in her arms. She held onto her with one hand, and used her other to examine the blanket that she was holding. "It's the African one?"

"Yes." He said, rubbing his dressing wounds.

"That's her favorite." She said. "She's trying to comfort herself. Although, I don't know what drove her powers in the first place. What exactly happened?"

"There we were, rough housing. I was…..teaching her about the African animals. So I turned into a lion to show her what it looked like, and because I was a lion, I heard something. I realized it was going to hit the Tower, so I took her and took cover and, then there was an explosion—"

"So, she saw the explosion, and heard you fight those men?" She asked. He nodded. "Was she crying?"

"Yes, but somehow she knew not to scream out her cries—"

"Since she couldn't express herself through her words, her powers came out strongly." She said. She grabbed the blanket, staring Lydia into her eyes. "Lydia, listen to Mommy; you need to calm down. Mommy's here, Daddy's here; everything is alright."

"Metty?" Lydia said, repeating what she had heard before from her mother.

"Yes, 'metty'. Me-di-tate." She said, trying to enunciate her words. "You need to calm down. Can you say, 'mama, dada….', what else can she say?" She asked Garfield.

" 'Africa'?" He said. "She loves to learn about all the animals I have been teaching her."

"No, that's too hard to say….."

"Ly-ing?" Lydia asked Garfield, hearing the word animal and Africa.

"That means lion." He told Raven.

"Lydia?" Raven asked her, trying to get her attention. "Can you say, 'mama, dada, lion'?"

"Ma-ma, da-da, ly-ing." Lydia repeated back.

"Say it again." She said.

"Ma-ma, da-da, ly-ing." Lydia said once more. "'Gain?" Raven nodded, Lydia kept repeating the phrase, in a rhythm as if it was some kind of game to her. Slowly, but surely, the black energy dissolved from the blanket.

"It's normal now." Raven said as she brushed away the hair from Lydia's face. She didn't touch the bow, but merely glanced at Garfield for putting it on. Lydia kept repeating the words, ignoring her parents, as she had found some new game for her to play.

"Do you mind the bow? I usually take it off before you get home." He said.

"No, not today." She said, smiling at him.

"You haven't….felt too much today…..have you?" He said, trying to choose his words carefully. "If you thought I was dead…...were you able to manage?"

"I think I made a few things melt in the city." She confessed. "Probably made a few things explode, but nothing I can't clean up later, unless the city already took care of that."

"Nothing came out, right? You weren't angry?" He asked.

"No, I was too sad, distressed, fearful, too many to list. However, anger was the last thing on my mind." She said, using her one free hand to touch his face, gently rubbing her fingers on the cut near his lip. She tried again to fully heal it, but she was too shaken up that she couldn't focus.

"Ma-ma, da-da, ly-ing….." Lydia said playing with her blanket in her hand.

"Why can't I heal that little cut? I should be able to; I'd healed those large cuts in your leg, I should be able to heal that small cut." She said.

"Are you focusing?" He asked grabbing her hand that was placed on his face, she nodded. "Maybe you're just tapped out for the day. After all, you did focus most of your energy on the more serious wounds—"

"Yes, but—" She interrupted him becoming anxious.

"Rae, just relax." He said, with her taking a deep breath. "I'm fine now, I took a pretty tough beating, but you've seemed to heal most of my wounds. It's only a little cut. You're really uneasy at the moment. Maybe _you_ should meditate?"

"What happened to me, Garfield?" She asked, realizing he was right. "I'd used to be able to maintain a cool composure, even when staring death in the face. I've only been stressed out a few times in my life. _You_ used to be the one to freak out when something intimidated you. Now you seem to look on the bright side on anything that comes into our lives."

"Whoa, Rae, it's very understandable why you're stressed out right now. Anybody would be; it don't matter how calm—"

"—it _doesn't_ matter—"

"See? Even when you're stressed out, you're still acting like _you_. You're correcting my grammar." He said, with her giving a small smile, which slowly faded. "I might add that I have _always_ been one to look on the bright side of things, even though I would get scared just as easily. You have just noticed it more because we have been making decisions _together_. And when you tell me your fears, I just comfort you and tell you how we can overcome them. Things were a little different when we were just dating. You took control a lot, and that made you more comfortable, I believe. I still get scared just as easily as before; remember when I kept insisting you would hold her? That scared me when you didn't."

"Was I really that bad? Did I take control over everything?" She asked, almost asking for an answer as to why he had married her in the first place.

"No, I mean, well if the rest of the world looked at us while we were dating, doing something or discussing something, they would say 'oh, that Raven is such a controlling witch, I feel sorry for that BB.' However, I'm not the rest of the world. I didn't know what I want—"

"—And I _made_ you choose then?—" She said sadly.

"No, that's not what I mean. I meant that I didn't know what I wanted. I told you that I didn't get a regular education, with the complications in my life. But you know a _lot_ about our world and yours; probably had a better education then most kids got since you lived in your school." He said. "You taught me a lot about the world. I _learned_ what I wanted from your discussions. Even though you took control, I was willing to go on the ride."

"Well, it would be a comfort for you to know that I _learned_ a lot from you too. Before I didn't know how to take….affection." She said. "Despite…..him…..Malchior. Or maybe because of him I was so scared to commit."

As soon as she said his name, she looked away from Garfield, staring out of the window. It was a slip of the tongue, causing her for her mind to relive herself to being tricked and betrayed once again.

"You sometimes would say that we were, what was that thing where opposites attract?" He said, gently taking putting his hand on her shoulder. "…..Something about balancing…ah, yin…"

"….yang." She finished for him, looking back at him. "The balancing of nature."

"Yes." He said, as he brushed her hair out her face. "You may have changed, but for the better. And myself as well. I mean, growing up sucks…"

"—how elegant—"

"—But, so far, I think _we_ have overcome some of the obstacles." He said. She slowly nodded.

He gracefully tilted his head closer to her, with her closing her eyes as they met their lips. Lydia still was in her own world, not being interested in her parents kissing. He broke it off, with her eyes still close, trying to take in the moment.

"Is my cut healed?" He asked.

"No, I wasn't healing you, why?" She asked, a little confused since he had told her not to try to heal it for a while. Garfield blushed.

"I'd just thought it would be really cool and romantic if you healed the cut nearby my lip just by kissing me. Almost like in a book." He said. He lowerd his voice as if he was a narrator. " 'The one thing that cures all aliments is a kiss from a love one.' " He said, with her rolling her eyes.

"You've been reading too many romance novels." She said.

"I don't read romance novels." He said getting defensive. She glared at him suspiciously. "Well, at least I read." He chuckled uncomfortably, as she smiled.

"I guess that's better then nothing." She said.

They looked over at Lydia, who was still playing the game of chanting comforting words to herself, enjoying what little peace they could have before she would start crying again.

"Who said I was controlling?" Raven asked suddenly in her monotone voice. "When you said the world would look at us, and would think I was controlling, who told you that?" Garfield chuckled uncomfortably.

"Oh, Rae, I was just thinking, uh...that-that is what anybody else would be thinking, nobody ever said anything—"

"—Was it Cyborg?"

"Yes." He confessed.

OKAY, SEE YA GUYS SOON.


	11. All You Need is Not Just Love, is it?

I'VE JUST FINISHED THE LONG AND AGONIZING ESSAY FOR MY WOMEN'S HISTORY CLASS. I JUST _HAD_ TO PICK LAURA INGALLS WILDER FOR THE PAPER IN ORDER TO RELATE HER BACK TO MY CLASS. WHY DID I DO THAT TO MYSELF? SHE WASN'T EXACTLY THE _EASIEST_ WOMAN TO WRITE ABOUT ONLY BECAUSE SHE JUST WROTE CHILDREN BOOKS AND IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH WOMEN SUFFRAGE OR CHOICES AND WHAT NOT. SO, THAT JUST MADE MY ESSAY THAT MUCH _HARDER_ TO WRITE.

AND NO, I COULDN'T WRITE ABOUT SUSAN B. ANTHONY OR CADY STANDON, AND SHE HAD TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING AFTER 1880 AND MAKE IT RELATE TO MY CLASS OVERALL. BUT I DID IT, I DID IT! AND NOW I FEEL MUCH BETTER, LIKE WEIGHT HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS. AND SPRING IS IN A WEEK.

ANYWAY…

I STRONGLY RECOMMEND GOING TO YOUTUBE AND LISTEN TO THE CERTAIN TYPE OF MUSIC WHILE READING, WHEN I MENTION IT. IT'S EASIER TO PICTURE OF WHAT THEY ARE DOING WITH THE MUSIC PLAYING WHILE YOU READ.

The kidnapping attempt was indeed for the purpose of trying to break up the Titans from the city. There were certain gangs in the city trying to set drug cartels, but the Titans would keep arresting their customers, because the customers were common criminals breaking laws and what not. The kidnapping scheme was an extreme attempt to get rid of the Titans, and if they were caught, which they were, they all faced serious charges. Since this was the first attempt to physically attack a child of the Titans, the judge wanted to make an example out of them. If anybody was thinking about trying to kidnap Lydia, or any other future Titan's children, they stopped thinking as soon as the punishment was handed out.

* * *

"Daddy, what this?" Lydia asked pointing to a picture inside the book placed in front of her as she was sitting in Garfield's lap. It was a giant children's book full of animals across the world, with a particular page turned to the African safari.

It had been around seven months, with Lydia turning two. Despite her quiet state when she was a baby, she was becoming more talkative. By now she loved to talk, wanting constantly to learn new words. She began asking way too many questions, sometimes questions neither Garfield nor Raven were ready to answer. With being the stay home dad he was, and retiring from fighting crime for a while, he focused on teaching Lydia his African roots. Well, not particularly him _having_ African ancestors, but his home country, where he grew up.

"That's a ze-bra." He said, trying to enunciate his words.

He was wearing a purple T-shirt and black sweat pants. He had dressed her in one of her colorful African dresses that he had gotten for her. Sometimes he dressed Lydia, and sometimes Raven did. She tended to dressed Lydia in dark, dull colors, whereas Garfield dressed Lydia in bright, striking colors. Today, she was wearing her short-sleeve, loose, pink dress, with orange, red, yellow, and light brown circles patterns around the hem and the top. Sometimes she stare at them, just watching the patterns form all around her. She had a pink bow on her head, with a pony tail.

"Za-bra?" She tried to say, looking up to him. "Horse?"

"No, a horse doesn't have strips on." He said. "A horse can be any other color, black or white, but not striped."

"Black's a color?" She asked.

"Um….." For Garfield didn't know how to answer that because it was such a strange question.

_Of course black is a color, it's part of the color wheel…is it?_ He thought. _Why did she have to have Rae's mind? I mean black is the absences of color, so it's not? I don't know, but how can I explain that to her? _

"No, but people pretend it's a color." That's the best answer he could come up with.

"Why?" She asked. Oh, no, she started asking questions.

"Because the world is stupid and likes to make up silly rules." He said, trying to find the right words to a two-year old. "Except your Mama; she's smart."

"Mama?" She asked.

"Yes. Mama." He said.

"Where is Mama?" She asked, sucking one of her thumb.

"I told you, she's fighting bad guys. She's making the world a safer place. Stop sucking your thumb." He said, brushing her hand away from her mouth. "I'll put hot sauce on that thumb if I have to, one day." He said jokily. She forgot that she was sucking her thumb, and quickly put it down. It was a habit that she was having a trouble time overcoming.

"When will Mama go home?" She asked.

"When will Mama _come_ home?" He corrected her. "I don't know, I can always call her."

"No, don't." She said. He raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" He asked, she looked up at him, she thought it was okay to tell him.

"I don't want Mama home." She confessed. Garfield was astonished.

"Why? She's your Mama." He said. "She loves you, don't you love her?"

"Yes, sometimes." She said, not sure what to say to her father. "I like you better, Daddy."

"Well, that's nice, but why don't you like Mama as much as me?" He asked.

"Sometimes she mean. You're funny." She said, looking back at her book. "Daddy, can you be a za-bra?" She said changing the subject or probably just having a short attention span.

"A _ze_-bra?" He said in an over exaggerated manner, looking at the book with her. She laughed as he started to tickled her, but then he stopped and became serious. "Sometimes your Mama is mean, but it's not because she doesn't like you, it's because she is protecting you."

"Pro-tecting?" She asked, looking up at him.

"She doesn't mean to be mean, but sometimes she forgets to be nice. If it makes you feel better, I'll talk to her." He said.

"No, don't tell! She won't like me!" She cried out in protest.

"She won't. Trust me, once I tell her, she'll love you even more." He said in a soothing voice.

"She will?" She asked, she wasn't altogether sure if her father was telling her the truth, but she believed him nonetheless. She trusted him.

"Yes." He said. She smiled, and went back to the book and pointed to the big zebra running in the African safari.

"Za-bra." She said. "Za-bra, Za-bra, Za-bra!"

"Okay, okay." He said, as he got up and morphed into a zebra. Lydia clapped her hands and squealed with joy. He walked over to her and licked her face with her falling down from the force. She giggled, as she lightly petted his front leg. He lowered his head to her and she wrapped her arms around his head and hugged him tightly.

"I love you, Daddy." She said. It was a bittersweet moment for him, as he felt guilty that she had picked favorites so early, and one of them wasn't Raven.

* * *

"It's okay; I'm used to people getting the wrong impression from my behavior." Raven said, as she sipped her tea in that evening.

Everyone else on the team wanted to get pizza after battling several villains that day. Raven, however, wanted to go home, and preferred her tea over pizza any day. Garfield had already put Lydia to bed, with Raven quickly kissing her good night, before she went to the kitchen. Now, Garfield had come to talk about the possibility that Raven's cold manners were affecting Lydia's opinion about her own mother, and at an early age.

"Rae, I don't think it's okay for your own child to not like you." He said, taking a seat across from her in the kitchen. "Now, I stay home because well, I wanted to. And that made her comfortable with me, especially since I teach her things. However, she is sometimes terrified of you—"

"—I know. I sometimes sense her fear." She said. She took another sip, trying to calm her nerves. "I know what you are trying to say. But may I remind you, that it took a while for the team to get used to me. It took a while for _you_ to get used to me—"

"—I was more accepting than the others, especially since I went in your mind—"

"—it will take a while for her to get used to me. And the same is true for me; it will take a while for me to open up. She has emotions and powers; I know that sometimes I can be a little strict, but it's for her own good."

She walked over to the window in the living room, staring at the dark blue sky, trying to find the stars in the early night. He followed her.

"She only meditates while with me because that way nothing bad will happen while I am gone fighting crime. I want to keep her stable with you. She is still only a child, and so has only small powers, but they will grow over time." She said.

"But it seems like nothing happens unless she feels _extreme_ emotions, such as rage, depression, panic, and excitement." He said, trying to look on the bright side. They had come to notice that if Lydia expressed her emotions in a small manner, nothing seemed to happen, but if she expressed her emotions in a extreme manner, her powers would start to show itself.

"Yes, but I don't know if that's because she is still young, or her human side is overpowering her Demonic side. She _is_ after all the first ever born quarter Demon." She said. He frowned; she could see his reflection in the window with her sighing. "I'll try." She said. He put his arm around her shoulder, although he was still frowning.

"That's all I can ask for." He said, staring out into the window.

"Then why are you still sad?" She asked, turning towards him and looking into his eyes.

"It's not because of you, it's just that….nothing seems like it can be simple." He said, looking at her. "It took forever for you to show affection to me, took a while for you to open up, and even took a while for you to accept the idea of having a baby, even when you wanted it. It's not because of you, but it's because of your Demonic origin. It just sometimes seems unfair when the other's can have powers without sacrificing anything."

"Garfield, I'm not special. Everyone, including you, has sacrificed something just because they have their powers." She said, in her monotone. She was trying to stay calm, trying to remind him of everyone's struggles.

"Well, yeah. But it's usually something that's happened in the past. You, on the other hand, have to constantly—"

"—I don't have to constantly—" She tried to say.

"—Yeah, you do, Rae. You have to constantly keep your emotions in check and—"

"—Garfield, I know!" She shouted, making her cup explode. "I'm sorry." She said as she looked over the scene which consisted of split tea on the carpet and broken ceramic pieces.

"Rae, what's wrong—" He asked confused as to what just happened.

"I just don't want to be reminded of what I am." She said, trying to calm down. She picked up the pieces with her powers. "I know it _seems_ unfair, but I can't think about the others and how I can never be like them. If I do, I would constantly be in a state of depression, and I can't even do _that_!"

"Okay, Rae, I'm sorry." He said as she quickly reframed to her neutral state of mind, putting the broken mug pieces in the trash. "I forgot that you don't like to talk about that."

"But you don't understand why I am so upset." She said in her monotone, dropping her head. "It's because you reminded me that Lydia would be just like me."

"We don't know that. Like you said it yourself, it could be that she is young or that her human side is overpowering her Demonic side." He said. She looked out at the window, trying to find something interesting to look at to get out of this conversation.

"I know what I am. I have accepted this since I was four; I just don't like to be reminded of it, I don't even like to remind myself, which is what I did a lot, when I started going out with you." She said, turning around to face him. "What I have been doing since I have been going out with you. I somehow thought it would be _different_ if we were married."

"I know. I just forgot for a sec." He said, but this did not seem to cheer her up. "I'm sorry."

He didn't know what to do, then walk away and leave her alone. However, when he turned around, he eyed the stereo across the room. He walked over to it, set it to a music score, and pressed play. He started to slowly waltz his way back to her as she turned around, her mood beginning to soften as she watched him coming closer.

When he reached her, he gracefully put his hand on her hip with the other holding her hand out. She reluctantly allowed him to do so as she grabbed his hand and put her other on his shoulder, with a small smile on her face, before she looked down to watch her steps.

Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was playing, the song that was playing the first time she ever danced with him; the first time she was able to express her feelings to him. Kissing and hugging were both milestones in themselves, but those took her time to express. Dancing was the first trick Raven ever tried and succeeded at expressing. It was technically not hugging or kissing, but at the same time it _was_, in a weird way.

"Dun, dun, dun….dun, dun, dun…..dun!...Dun, dun!" Garfield sung along to, as there weren't any words to it. He just tried to mimic the tempo of the song. "Dun, dun, dun…dun, dun, dun….."

They both started to waltz around the room, eyes meeting each other, moving faster or slower depending on the beat. Occasionally he would stop singing, and just hum with the music, until he liked a certain tempo to start singing along with again. Back and forth, forth and back.

_One, two, three, one, two, three,_ Raven counted to herself as she was trying her best not to step on his toes. He didn't care how she danced, either way, it was beautiful to him, but _she_ didn't want to be the one to constantly miss a beat as her large feet didn't make her look as graceful as she would like to be.

Near the middle of song, when it was taken an octave higher, they slowed down, and waltz in just one area of the room. He looked at the top of her head, as she kept looking down to watch her feet. At one point, he stopped, and made her look up to him. When her eyes were glued to his, he continued on, hoping that she would stop looking down and just enjoy the moment.

The song started to become angelic, with her using her black energy to lift them up in the air slightly, as if they were both flying while dancing. Garfield still felt like he was touching something solid under his feet, and he wasn't sure if Raven did that on purpose, or her powers were unleashing themselves through dance. Eventually they both touched the floor again.

They picked up the speed when the tempo started to get darker, spinning each other faster and faster, as the music speed up until the music slowed down to a sad pace. He twirled her around, and the original tempo started to pick up again, going back to their original waltz.

He twirled her around when it became the climax of the song. When she came back to his arms, she was then dipped, her head almost touching the floor, with her one leg in the air gracefully hovering above his head, as his head was just as low as hers. Even though the tempo changed again, they didn't move from that position, and just gazed into each other's eyes.

After a minute or so, with them just listening to the piano, he brought her back up, as the music was coming to a close. It went back to the original tempo. They just slowly waltz to the rest, in one spot, with her head rested on his shoulders, swaying back and forth. The music came to an end, and he sang out the last beats to her.

"Dun…..dun…." He sung the last beats in her ear. She looked up to him.

"Why don't we dance more often?" She asked, playfully twirling his hair, she had forgotten what they had just talked about, making him successful in his mission.

"You know, I set the stereo to our playlist." He whispered. She sighed.

"So," She said, with a small smile, looking up at him. "Does that mean your song—"

"Yes." He said, breaking their embrace. She blushed.

"I spent all day on my feet, and now I have to swing?" She asked.

"Hey, you got your little waltz. And you haven't been on your feet all day. I _know_ you've been flying. Also, you said it yourself; you would like to dance more often." He said.

"Now I remember why, it's because you would always make me dance to _this_." She said, trying to prepare herself for the moves that Garfield would want her to do.

"Come on, Rae. You know how much swing means to me. Bae-tu-ven cheered you up; now I want to be cheered up too." He said. She sighed.

"How is it that you still can't say 'Beethoven' right?" She asked.

"What? I said it, Bae-hoven. Right?" He jested. Now, she knew he was just playing along.

He was right, she had her slow moving waltz without any lyrics to sing to, and in a way she enjoyed the swing herself, but boy did she feel stupid sometimes when she was moving violently around the room. He placed his hand on her hip with the other grabbing her hand. The beginning familiar guitar notes began to fill the room.

"Oh, yeah I'll, tell you somethin'

I think you'll understand

When I, say that somethin'

I want to hold your hand!…." The Beatles voices sung in the room.

They began to violently skip to each beat, swinging their arms as they did so. He now was able to twirl her around multiply times, sometimes with her twirling into his arms before going back to her original position. It didn't look as pretty as the waltz, but it was lot more fun for Garfield to get into then the waltz. Sometimes, instead of just swing, they would incorporate some salsa dancing or jazz, to spice up their movements.

Not really the most graceful Titan out of the bunch, he decided early in his teens that a way to a girl's heart was by learning how to dance. Not merely just to be all sentimental with them, but a chance to get close to them. Of course, that took some talking into with Raven, as she was probably the only girl he was able to practice his moves with, besides his stuff animals. And then of course there were a couple of times with Terra, before.

Raven knew early on what his motivation was for dancing. She called him out on it, and he couldn't lie about it. However, she soon found herself swept up under her feet when she did dance with him. But she only liked to waltz; he was the one who liked them all, especially swing.

She humored him by doing the moves. He grabbed her by her hips, picked her up, and swung her legs on each side. When the music got slower, they proceeded to do a small waltz, before picking it up again during the fast part.

"And when I touch you, I feel happy, inside…." He sang along, as they waltz to the slow part, with her giving him a small smile.

He didn't exactly have the voice of Paul McCartney, but she wasn't the type to be into singers in the first place.

"Yeah, you, got that something…..I think you'll understand…" He sang.

Again, they violently skipped and hop to the rest of the fast tempos with Garfield twirling her around at any possible moment he had. At the end, he twirled her into his arms. The music ended, with their heavy breathing being the only sound heard in the room. Garfield pushed the remote to turned off the stereo, while Raven tried her best to catch her breath without making chaos with her powers.

"Daddy?" A small voice came from the hallway door.

The dark green eyes girl was standing by the doorframe, with her one hand sucking her thumb, and the other holding her African blanket. She was wearing yellow footed pajamas, with her messy hair hanging out reaching to her mid-back without her usual ponytail.

"Scared." She simply said, with her voice trembling a bit.

"Lydia, I put you to bed." Raven said, quickly breaking her smitten state of mind. She went over to Lydia, kneeling down to talk at her level. "You should be in bed." She said in her monotone. Lydia avoided eye contact with her and tried to get Garfield's attention.

"Scared." Lydia said, ignoring Raven altogether. "It's dark."

"Lydia, don't suck your thumb." She said, grabbing her hand that was sucking her thumb. Touching her hand, she could sense the weak energy that Lydia was slowly creating in her body. Lydia was scared, and Raven didn't want her to feel scared. "Garfield, take her to bed." She told him, ignoring her pervious complaint about her sucking her thumb. "Daddy will take you to bed." She said softly to Lydia, trying to gain her attention.

Lydia stared at her, not knowing what to say. Garfield walked over to Lydia and picked her up, with her putting her arms up to him.

"Oy, you're getting heavy." He said, while Lydia gripped his shoulder. He looked into her eyes. "Why were you scared?"

"Dark." She said, already feeling better.

"Did you watch Mama and Daddy dance?" He asked her, bobbing her up and down.

"Mmhmm." She said giggling as Garfield was giving her a mini ride. "I want dance."

"You wanted to dance, well excuse me." He said theatrically. "Can Daddy have this dance?"

"No." She said jokingly, trying to make a game.

"Oh, I see, playing hard to get. Mama was the same way, but I got her to dance." He said, eyeing Raven. He turned back to Lydia. "Please, can I have this dance?" He said, exaggerating his plea.

"Ok." She said, letting him win. He grabbed her one hand that was free, and started to bob up and down, with him doing a few dance steps.

"Oh, please, say to me, you'll let me be your man….." Garfield sang to Lydia as he began to make his way to their room, with Raven slowly following.

"No." Lydia said giggling, playing along with the game.

"Well then…oh ,please, say to me, you'll let me hold your hand, you'll let me hold your hand! I want to hold your hand…" He sang.

"Ok." She said as she was being dipped to the floor a couple of times.

The two dancing Titans entered their room, followed by the walking Titan who was turning off all the lights as well as opening and closing their door with her energy. A couple of times Lydia looked over to her mother who was displaying such power, but then looked back to her father who was entertaining her. She wanted to be like her mother, but Raven wouldn't let her do anything with her other then meditate, and while sometimes imaging things in her head was fun, it sure did get boring after a while.

Garfield tucked her in the middle of their oval bed as Raven was getting undressed and preparing to put on her pajamas. Lydia watched her mother intently as she used her black energy to do, well, everything. All her mother had to do was to know when to move as she placed each arm or each leg into the correct hole of her clothes.

"Daddy?" Lydia asked, while Garfield himself was taking off his shirt to prepare for bed. "How does Mama do that?" Raven could hear them, they weren't exactly on the other side of the room, but she pretended she didn't.

"Do what?" He asked, not sure what she meant, for he was used to such magic done every day.

"The black?" She asked. Again, he wasn't sure what she meant for a second, but when he saw Raven putting on her blue long-sleeve shirt with her energy, he got the idea. He finished getting dressed himself, and then sat on the bed next to Lydia.

"Mama has magic powers." He said, trying to make it as simple as possible. "You do too."

"I do?" She asked curiously, for if she knew she could make objects move, she would certainly do that.

"Don't you remember?" He asked, as she had made her blanket move a couple more times since the home invasion. He figured she understood that, but maybe she either blocked out the memory or couldn't remember it. "You know when Mama makes you sit still, and think about happy thoughts?" He asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, that is part of you learning how to control your powers." He said.

"But when do I get it?" She asked, not entirely sure what he meant by the controlling part. She thought 'powers' was a physical object that one might get as a present. "I want powers!" She shouted with glee.

Raven closed the closet door hard with her energy, making both Garfield and Lydia turn their heads. However, it wasn't because she wanted to disrupt Lydia's joy, but because she lost control for a second when Lydia said she would _like_ to have those same powers. Those same powers that cause her so many disturbance in her life.

"Lydia," Raven said, trying not to sound too negative as she faced Lydia. "I understand you want to be like me. But, you need to learn how to control those powers before you can use them. So, when you are a good girl, and do your 'quiet time' right, will you be able to do anything with your powers." She said not knowing how to explain it.

"And then I'll get it?" Lydia asked with excitement.

"Yes, just calm down now." Raven said in her monotone, not wanting to cause Lydia's powers to go off if she got too excited.

Raven didn't want to be the 'bad guy' in situations, but she had to be, otherwise Lydia wouldn't have discipline. But she also knew that she shouldn't be too tough at the same time, or Lydia would start to hate her. How could one be a parent and a discipline teacher of Demonic powers at the same time? For now, she figured that Garfield was all the support that she needed.

If at the end the only thing that was lost was Lydia's love for her mother, but was able to maintain her powers, then Raven would take it. She figured her mother made the same choice, but at the same time, she didn't want to be her mother.

_I won't be like my mother, _she thought to herself as Lydia was getting comfortable with Garfield while he climbed into bed. Everything was fine, Lydia had calm down and was proceeded to sleep next to her father. Raven carefully made her way to the bed, slowly getting her book out to read.

Garfield tried to listen to some music on his electronic device while she was reading. Occasionally Lydia would look over to either side of her parents, to see what they were doing.

"Book." She said, pointing to Raven's book.

"This one doesn't have any pictures." She calmingly said as Lydia tried to look at it.

"Unfortunately." Garfield said jokingly to Raven as he could still hear what they were saying through his headphones. "Lydia, do you want to listen to some music?" He asked her giving her one of his headphones.

"Story." She told him.

"I already told you a story." He said.

"But I got up again. Story!" She said again with more force.

"You got any good stories in that book, Mama?" He asked Raven.

"Not for children." She said in her monotone. "And Lydia wouldn't like it either." She added for her amusement.

"Story!" Lydia said again, but this time to Raven.

"Ask your Daddy. He always tells stories."

"I want new story. Daddy tells me the same one." She said, knowing her father all too well not to come up with too many plot developments.

"I don't know." Raven said, looking over to Garfield.

"Tell her one, Rae, you can come up with a better one then me." He said, trying to get her to play the 'good guy' for a change. "Mama has told me some of the best stories." He told Lydia.

"Story?" Lydia asked in a timid voice. She was afraid of asking Raven too many times. "Please?"

"Well, since you said the magic word," She said, trying to get her to learn her manners. "I'll tell one tonight, but then you have to go to bed when I am done. Okay?" She said looking at Lydia.

"Okay." Lydia said, lying down in order to get in the mood.

"Oh, I want to hear this." Garfield said, taking out his ear phones.

"Once upon a time," She said trying to come up with something. She looked over to one corner of their room, staring at the bookcase, and lost her train of thought.

"Rae?" Garfield asked.

"Once upon a time," She began, this time more confident. "There was a girl, who liked to play with other kids, but sometimes she just wanted to be by herself instead of playing with others. This led the other kids to think that something was wrong with her, and they made fun of her when she wasn't in the room."

"And?" Lydia asked, giving Raven her full attention.

"Well, one day a mysterious boy began to play with her and talk to her. And she thought he was cool, much cooler than the other kids. She trusted him. He taught her how to play a new game, and she loved it so much she tried to play it with the others."

"And lived happily ever after?" Lydia said, excited about the plot.

"Not exactly. It turned out that the mysterious boy was bad, and the game he taught her was not a nice game to play. She thought it was a good game at first, but when she realized it was bad, she told him to go away, and pushed him. He cried, ran away, and never came back." She said.

"No happily ever after?" Lydia asked, disappointed. It wasn't a good story unless there was a happy ending, Lydia knew her mother wasn't a very happy person, but how could she not incorporate a happy ending? It was just a crime to Lydia.

"Well, actually there is. One of the other kids, a boy who she thought was dumb, came forward to comfort her when he saw that she was sad by the mysterious boy's trick." She said, trying to bring her voice down in order to get her to sleep. She tucked Lydia under the covers. Lydia was trying to listen intently at the plot twist, but her eyes were becoming drowsy. "She found out that the boy wasn't _that_ stupid, and he found out that the girl wasn't _that_ different than him. And pretty soon, when she would have alone time with herself, she would ask the boy to keep her company."

"And lived happily ever after." Lydia said, a little more confident that it was indeed the ending of the story. "And?" She asked as she yawned.

"You just ended the story, what more do you want?" Raven asked a little confused.

"She always asks for more, even when it's over." Garfield said to ease her mind. "I don't think she knows that the phrase 'happily ever after' means 'the end'." Lydia's eyes were becoming very heavy, and as soon as Raven and Garfield went back to do their original activities, she had fallen asleep.

"Is she asleep?" Garfield asked, as he was staring at the ceiling while listening to his music.

"Yes." Raven said putting down her book, as she was prepared for what Garfield was going to say.

"Rae, why did you—?" He asked.

"You wanted a story, and I just stared at the bookcase," She said, trying to explain herself. "And, I just remembered."

It was one of those things where it was best not to remember it, despite the impact it had. They both had made a promise; not to talk about their past relationships, for obvious reasons. Of course, unless there was a good reason to bring it up, but a story to a toddler wasn't an excuse for Garfield.

"I told you a long time ago, I got over it." She said.

"Yes, but at the time, it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience to go through. And I don't like going through it again." He said.

"It happened to _me_, and _I_ got over it. So, shouldn't it be okay?" She asked.

"How would you feel if I tell Lydia the story about Terra?" He said, trying to drive his point across.

"But that's differen—"

"It's not, because how you would feel about Terra, is how I feel about Malchior." He said, staring intently in her eyes. She put her book away, and turned off the lights, allowing the darkness to consume them in silence.

"There is a difference. The difference is, is that Malchior didn't win your trust. But I did trust him. And Terra." She said after a few moments in silence. Even though it was dark, they could still make out each other's facial expression, as the moon was slowly creeping out. "I had gotten over it, but why do you—?"

"Because he broke your heart." He said interrupting her. They became silent for a while. "And even though," He finally said. "You say you have gotten over it, you were just so devastated by the whole situation, it took you longer for _you_ to get over _him_, than it did for _me_ with _Terra_."

"I was just trying to tell a story." She said, defending herself.

"I know, but just like that, you remembered. You do that sometimes, Rae, when you don't mean to. You would start talking about Malchior, and it makes you sad, or less involved with us when you bring it up." He said. "I try not to do that with Terra, and sometimes you catch me talking about her, getting moody, and I would snap out of it."

"The first one always hurts." She said, lying down, with her hands carefully placed next to her sides.

"I know, it does." Garfield said, gripping one of her hands. "It does. But at least we found each other."

"So, I have to train Lydia, while trying to show affection to her at the same time, and also not to bring up Malchior. Just so I know." She said, looking at him, as if he was giving her orders, and she was listing them. "Is there anything else that I need to promise, oh great one?" She said, adding sarcasm in her tone.

"Tell you what," He said, lying down, and playing with her hand with his own, while staring into her eyes. "How about I promise something in return, that way we both have something to work on together?"

"What will you promise? Putting the toilet seat down?" She said sarcastically.

"I'll read another one of your fancy books. One of the old ones." He said.

"And a discussion about it?" She asked.

"And a discussion about it at the end." He said.

"A serious one? And not 'this chick was messed up'?" She asked, knowing him all too well. She intertwined her fingers with his.

"A serious one." He said. She smiled, and looked up to her clock to see that it was barely nine o'clock.

"The other's will probably come in soon, make a lot of noise, and complained that we went to bed too early tomorrow." She said.

"So?" He said smiling. "Who cares what they think?"

"I don't." She said. He started to hum 'I Want to Hold Your Hand', as they both drifted to sleep. Lydia by now was already drooling when they finally went to sleep. Their hands were still next to each other, even as the morning sun came up.

I'LL BE GOING TO DISNEYLAND NEXT WEEK, A TRIP I HAVE BEEN SAVING UP FOR QUITE SOMETIME. IT'S A SPRING BREAK TRIP WITH JUST A FRIEND OF MINE AND I, WE ARE BOTH NOSTALGIC FOR THE OLD DAYS AND OUR CHILDHOOD.

SO, I'LL EITHER GET A LOT OF WRITING DONE, OR NONE AT ALL, DEPENDING WHAT TIME WE GET TO OUR HOTEL ROOM AT LATE AT NIGHT. IT'S ONLY FOUR DAYS, NOTHING SERIOUS.


	12. The Trial of Beast Boy

OKAY, WENT TO DISNEYLAND LAST WEEK WITH MY FRIEND, AND DIDN'T WRITE A SINGLE SENTENCE DOWN. SHE GAVE ME ADVICE AND WHAT NOT, BUT WE SPENT MOST OF ENERGY AT DISNEYLAND. THE HOTEL HAD REALLY SLOW INTERNET, SO I COULDN'T POST THIS UP THEN.

"Aunt Stary, why do you kiss Uncle Robin?" Lydia asked one afternoon.

Lydia was barely three years-old as she was sitting in Starfire's lap in the living. Starfire was trying to read her a story when Lydia started to ask many questions. She was dressed nice this afternoon, wearing a baby blue, silk dress with short, puffed sleeves, with her hair in a ponytail with a black bow.

"Uncle Robin is my husband." Starfire said joyfully. Lydia couldn't say Starfire's name properly and resorted to call her 'Aunt Stary'.

"Are Mama and Daddy married?" She asked.

"Yes." Starfire said, expecting her next question. She was taught by Raven to not give too much information away to Lydia when talking to her, otherwise she would ask too many questions when she had the answer. However, Starfire liked to answer her questions, because at one time _she_ was the one who asked so many questions.

"How come they never kiss? You guys kiss all the time, but Mama and Daddy only have kiss once." She asked. Starfire didn't know how to answer this particular question, for she didn't know the answer herself.

"We should finish this book first, little one." Starfire said, trying to change the subject.

"Do they love each other?" She asked, curious as to why Starfire was not answering her question.

"Your mother loves you, does she not?" Starfire asked.

"Yes." She said.

"But she does not always show it, does she?"

"No." She confessed.

"Well, it is like that with your mother and father, they love each other, but just don't show it that often." Starfire said, answering her own question after a moment of thinking about. "Also," Remembering a time in the past when Cyborg was chattering away. "Robin and I have always been more of 'the kissing of the type' then your parents. They prefer to have discussions rather than do 'the kissing'." Starfire said.

"Why do I have to wear this dress? It's itchy." She asked, scratching her hip as the fabric was making her skin sensitive to irritations.

"Didn't mother Raven tell you? You are going to see your Grandma today." Starfire said, forgetting about the book and setting it down. "And they want to make sure you look 'presentable'."

"Mama says I have only one Grandma and no Grandpa's. Why is that?" She asked.

"You should ask mother Raven about that." Starfire said. Lydia found it strange on how Aunt Stary would talk sometimes, calling her mother by her name, making it strange for her to listen. "Do you want to play airplane?" She asked, having an idea.

"Yes!" Lydia said in excitement.

"Okay, let us go before father Beast Boy finds out." Starfire said happily, as she held Lydia making, her way to the roof.

Once they were on the roof, Starfire then grabbed onto Lydia's hands and flew both of them above the roof, swinging her around as she flew slowly in circles. She only rose up to ten feet, but it was enough for Lydia to feel like she was flying across the sky. She couldn't explain it, but she wasn't afraid of heights, although it was terrifying at times. Somehow, she enjoyed the thrill of flying, even for her age. Starfire flew at a slow paced, making Lydia swift back and forth.

"Starfire! Get down here! You know I don't like that!" Garfield demanded angrily, as soon as he opened the roof door. He didn't like Starfire's little flying game and wished she wouldn't keep playing it. He was wearing one of his nicer purple T-shirt's, and the only jeans he owned that wasn't damage in some way."How many times have I told you not to play your little airplane game?"

Starfire carefully lowered herself and Lydia down on top of the roof as Garfield glared at her. Lydia was too busy giggling from the joy before she settled down.

"I'm sorry friend Beast Boy; she was not enjoying the books and I thought this was more fun than reading. I am always careful when we play airplane." Starfire explained herself, trying not to upset a friend.

"You know how I feel about you swinging her around in the air." Garfield said angrily, ignoring Starfire's eyes that asked for forgiveness. She knew what she was doing would displease him, and yet she was trying to act all innocent about the whole situation.

"But Daddy, it's fun." Lydia pleaded.

"I know it seems fun, but it's dangerous." Garfield said in a softer voice, getting rid of his anger as he kneeled down to her. "We're ready to go, are you ready to meet Grandma Arella?"

* * *

"Lydia, stay close to Daddy." Raven said to her as she was searching for the right building that had Arella's familiar doves nearby. She was wearing a blue, long sleeve shirt, with a long purple skirt.

"Did the trip make you sick?" Garfield asked Lydia as he kneeled down to her.

She shook her head, although she did feel a little queasiness before, she seemed to recover just fine now. Maybe Rae had sensed her pain and took it away before she woke up to find herself in a completely different world? Maybe she was just lucky and it had past before she woke up. All she could remember before she came to this strange place was a white light, and then, she had fallen asleep, waking up to this futuristic city that seemed at the same time was still part of the past. She looked over to the tall skyscrapers and the golden skies.

"Do you know where we are?" He asked, after she took a moment to observe the scenery.

"Az-rath?" Lydia said, not being able to pronounce the whole word.

"Yes, Az-_a_-rath. This is where Mama was born and raised." He said softly. "This is where Mama's mother lives. Grandma."

"What about your Mama and Daddy?" She asked, a little confused to this whole having 'relatives' thing. She figured it would make sense that her own parents would have parents too. She was barely three years-old, it would take her a while to make connections about anything.

"I told you Lydia," He said sadly, looking down at the ground. "My parents are gone, they no longer live. Remember? I told you about the boat accident?"

"So, I'll never see them?" She asked. He nodded slowly, looking back up at her.

"That's why your Grandma Arella is extra special; she's the only Grandma left." He said.

"What about Mama's Daddy?" She asked, a little confused about why her mother didn't have a father as well. "What about him?"

"Mama doesn't have one." Garfield said, however Lydia wasn't really taking his word for it. She liked answers, and if there was an answer that she didn't like, she would try to get another answer. He sighed. "He's not a nice man, so Grandma raised your Mama by herself. He never acted like a daddy to her, so we pretend he doesn't exist."

"Oh." She said, not knowing what to say. Sometimes knowing too much was probably worst then being oblivious, as this news about her mother's father was not pleasing to here.

"She's over here!" Raven yelled, walking over to them, pointing to the horizon. She kneeled down to Lydia. "Now, Lydia, remember to behave." She said as she fixed Lydia's bow, to make sure it was on straight.

Raven held onto Garfield's body, who in turn held onto Lydia as Raven lifted them to the nearby building with the flock of doves surrounding it. Out walked a white robed figure, who hid her violet hair around her hood and violet eyes. She held a white dove in her hand.

"Raven, my child, Garfield, welcome." She said in her soothing voice to the trio, as she looked down to the third member. "And what's your name, child?" She asked Lydia. Garfield pushed her forward to present herself.

"Go on." He whispered to the scared child. "Tell her your name."

"Don't be afraid, my child." Arella said. "Pray, tell me, what is your name?"

"L-L-Ly-dia." She stuttered, and then quickly went by Garfield's side.

"I see that she is not that developed yet." Arella said bluntly to Raven, talking as if Lydia wasn't even there anymore.

"No, she is still young. But I have seen her powers come and go sometimes when she expresses extreme emotions." She said.

"How do you like Azarath, Lydia?" Arella asked as she took a step closer to them.

"Quiet." Lydia said, peeking from behind her father's leg to look at the strange mysterious stranger. "Where are the people?"

"There inside the Temples, meditating, learning, or praying." Arella said, not telling her the few monks that were watching them. They were watching Lydia more closely then Raven or Garfield, as they figured it was Raven's daughter, and was somewhat afraid of the powers she might possess. Arella gently plucked a feather from her bird. "Lydia, can you make this feather float out of my hand?"

"What?" She asked, not exactly sure what she meant.

"This feather, that doesn't weigh much, can you make it move out of my hand?" Arella asked, keeping the feather flat on her palm. "Without touching it?"

"Like Mama?" She asked.

"Yes, like your mother." Arella said.

"I don't know how." She said. Arella looked over to Raven.

"Can you feel sad, mad, or happy?" Raven told Lydia, feeling like it was her responsibility to take over now. "Pick one of those feelings."

"Okay." Lydia said after a few moments.

"Now, think about making that feather float while you keep feeling that emotion." Raven said, pointing to the feather.

Lydia stared at the feather intently. She didn't know what to do, even though she was told so. It didn't make any sense to her; she thought about the feather floating, while still pertaining to her emotion, but nothing happened. She thought that maybe she was doing something wrong, but she wasn't doing anything wrong, she had followed her mother's instructions directly.

"That's enough." Arella said after a while, looking at the tired Lydia who didn't know what to do. "You're not ready." She said bluntly.

She looked down at the feather, and decided to approach the Logan's. She carefully walked over to Lydia, kneeled down to her, and allowed her dove to fly away.

"Hold out your hand, my child." She said. Lydia hesitantly held out her hand. Arella admired her peach complexion, and could swear that Lydia looked more like herself then Raven, except Lydia's skin color was a lot more pale then her own, and her hair was darker. She carefully placed the feather in Lydia's hand. "Practice with this feather. You might not have control over your powers now, but just practice and you will, soon."

Arella stood up, eyeing Garfield.

"Garfield, would you take Lydia to show her my doves, I would like to talk with my own child for a while." She said. Garfield took Lydia's hand, and walked over to the hundreds of doves nearby. Arella gazed at the two of them before putting her eyes towards Raven. "Come, my child, sit down."

They both strolled over to the nearest bench, which was overlooking the city. Arella kept a good distance between her and Raven, occasionally looking back to Garfield and Lydia.

"So, how is her development?" Arella asked.

"I took your advice and didn't hold her for quite some time after she was born. I started to use my powers to take care of her rather than physically touching her." Raven said.

"But I am sure Garfield didn't like that as he is human." She said.

"Yes." Raven said, knowing her mother all too well to understand how a normal human thinks.

"I am sure you started to hold her soon afterward then." Arella said as if it was a matter of fact instead of a question.

"Yes." Raven said, not looking at her mother when she answered.

"I figured he would persuade you to hold her." She said, looking at Raven, even though she wasn't looking back. "And afterward?"

"I taught her the basics of meditation. I also got back on the team. Garfield is the one who stays home and takes care of her. I come home and make her meditate." Raven said, looking to her mother. "And now, Garfield is afraid that Lydia would start to despise me because I am becoming the strict parent."

"I wish I could tell you to follow Garfield's advice, but you know I can't." Arella said sadly.

"I knew you would say that. I have been trying to tell her stories to make myself less detested by her, but I still need to be the strict one." She said. They both gazed out at the calming, quiet city. "They're watching us, aren't they?" Referring to the monks who were watching from a far distance.

"Yes." Arella said. "They trust you to raise her, can't you trust yourself?"

"I also have another fear. One that I have not told Garfield and I tell him all my fears." She said.

"Trigon's children." Arella said, completeing Raven's thought for her. One of Arella's doves flew to her, resting on her hand.

"I don't know how many he has, but I have been able to train my mind not to be bothered by their thoughts, since I have grown up here in Azarath. But I'm afraid Lydia could be an easier target for them." She said.

"Have you thought about giving Lydia to the monks for a couple of years?" Arella asked, petting her dove. She was expecting Raven to be shocked or angered by the statement. However, she wasn't. "I see you have, my child."

"I hate to say so, but I have." She admitted, looking down.

"Don't blame yourself for thinking that. It's just natural instincts to want to come home after a long time." Arella said.

"That's the thing; I don't want to come home. I've made a life with my friends on Earth; I now have a husband, after pledging to myself when I was young that I would never fall in love, and I now have a child." She said, looking back at her mother. "Earth is my home, mother. And it's Lydia's too."

"You never wanted to leave the temples of Azarath, and now you have travel across dimensions, and now can't bear the thought of leaving your friends." Arella said softly. She petted her dove for a while, allowing a silence to fall between them. "Trigon's blood still runs in her veins. Even I couldn't raise you be myself, my child. The monks protect you from Trigon's children and Trigon himself."

"But you have always said that the student can become the teacher." She said. "You're sending me mix messages, mother. First, you say I can raise her, now you sit here and say I can't without the monks help."

"I am afraid I am giving you mix messages, for raising a descendant of Trigon is not an easy manner." Arella said. She looked up to her glooming daughter. "You may think of me as wise, my child, but I am still as human as the day I was born. I make errors just as the next human does on Earth. Lydia may live on Earth, if that is your wish, but just know that while the monks trust you, you still do not trust yourself. You may know what to do now, but when the time does happen that you do not know what to do, you must come back home to Azarath, my child."

Raven looked back at Garfield and Lydia playing with the doves. He had turn into one of the doves, trying to hide from Lydia, and she was trying to find the one green dove from all the white ones. When she did, she tried to catch him with her hands, but he would fly away so fast that the game would start all over again when he would fly in another group of white doves.

"He is not like any other man I have ever met on Earth." Arella commented, not even lifting her head up to see what Raven was looking at. "But I was raised on the wrong side of the tracks."

"Mother?" She asked, not knowing how to phrase her words. "I've never asked this, but was Trigon the last man you ever….."

"Yes." Arella said calmingly. She allowed her dove to fly away. "Yes, he was my first. My first and my last."

"And, you don't…"

"No. I never wanted another man since then." She tried to say in a calming voice. "Is there a question in there, my child, for it is something I do not wish to remember?"

"Sometimes, I can't help it, but want _him_ so badly. I was so scared of the idea of intimacy for the longest time, even when I became in love, probably because of how I was born. But now…. is it right, considering what the monks have said?"

"It's your emotions, my child. Children of rape tend not to view intimacy as a loving act, considering their mother's experience." Arella said. "Your human side has urges, and it is your demonic side that exploits it. Earth is fine; so, whatever methods of meditating you are doing when exercising intimacy, it must be working."

"But the monks—"

"Child, if you have already succeeded in your quest, why focus on the past?" Arella interrupted her.

"I'm just afraid, one day, something bad will happen, even if we are very careful." She said.

"Child, you have so many fears; fears I am afraid you haven't admitted until now. It is a good thing you are in Azarath, as your powers are probably unstable right now." Arella said.

"Azarath has always been a calming place to visit. It keeps me steady." She said quietly, looking over to the railings of the city, which were covered in her black energy, slowly bending upward, before she stopped the movement dead in its tracks. "Maybe I have missed my home; it's easier to control my emotions here."

"Keep her calm, keep her quiet, and most importantly, make sure she doesn't get mad. Sadness, excitement, and fear can be easier emotions to control, but you know more than anyone else, that Trigon's main demon inside of both of you is rage." Arella said, looking over to her. "It's getting late, my child."

Raven hesitantly tried to reach her hand out to Arella, maybe just to brush her hand up against her shoulder, or something. However, seeing this, Arella had one of her doves come over to Raven, to rest upon her hand. When Raven was distracted, just for a second, by the dove resting on her hand, Arella got up and walked over to Garfield. Raven wasn't surprised by her actions, but still was expecting a little more.

Arella calmingly walked over to Lydia. She stopped playing with Garfield as soon as she saw the white hood woman walking toward her, and stood there quietly as Arella gently kneeled down beside Lydia. Arella put her hand in her cloak to get something inside of her pocket, and she pulled out a white, silk cloth, which was folded into nice little squares. She gently unfolded the fabric, which revealed a small, marquise-diamond cut, red gem.

"This is a chakra, my child." Arella said, she allowed Lydia to touch it. "You place it on your forehead, and it will help you meditate. Maybe even help you enjoy your time of meditating." She gracefully folded the silk back up, and gave it to Garfield. She got up, and walked past Raven as Rae made her way to Garfield.

"Goodbye, mother. I don't know when we will visit again." Raven said, without making any more effort to touch her. She held onto to both Garfield and Lydia's hand, with Lydia holding onto Garfield's hand.

With that a white light blinded the city, with Arella merely looking down as they vanished.

"Goodbye, my Little Raven." She said to herself.

* * *

"I don't know how it happened!..." Garfield stated, as he found himself awoken in the hospital bed, a month later.

Looking down at himself, he was bruised all over in black and blue marks, with his clothes ripped to shreds around him. The team barely had time to find them both in their room, when Cyborg had discovered them as he was babysitting Lydia again. As soon as he opened the door, he found Garfield, in his beast form, knocking Raven out.

Cyborg had managed to hold him down, until he called for backup. It wasn't until the rest of the team came that he went back to his original form, in an unconscious state. He hadn't been in his beast form for a long time now, and he thought he it would never again show itself. The only other time he had used it is when Trigon took over.

Raven was in the hospital bed next to him, with her uniform barely clutching to her body, as the fabric could barely hold itself together after the beating it went through. It looked like some kind of wild animal had ripped it all over. Bruises and marks consumed her body. However, she was slowly healing herself through a trance. She wasn't in it so deep, but deep enough where the team couldn't reach her. She could wake up at any moment, for all the team knew.

Now, they had been in this situation before. Garfield had once looked like he had attacked Raven with his beast form, but turned out to be false. However, he was caught this time, physically attacking her. The team didn't know what to make of the situation, even after when Garfield had woken up on the hospital bed, after a day or so being lost in a coma. With the team glaring down at him, he looked over at himself and saw Raven, he didn't need the others to tell him anything; he put the pieces together.

Robin tried this time not to point any fingers at him, since he was innocent the last time, but how could he? Cyborg saw with his own two eyes, Garfield's beast smacking Raven across the face, before he threw her lifeless body on the side. Robin didn't think he had to be afraid of Garfield' beast anymore, since Cyborg said he had gotten rid of it. Apparently, he hadn't gotten rid of it all.

"I told Raven that I could still feel this beast inside of me when Cyborg had cure me. And it was still there." Garfield tried to explain himself to Robin why he hadn't told the other's that he still had it in him. He was sitting up from his bed, prepared to be bombarded with questions that he couldn't answer. "She was the only one who knew about it. And she said she felt safer because of that."

"But do you remember at all what happened?" Robin tried to interrogate him, but a little softer this time then before.

"I remember Raven screaming….." He said, with his mind lost at to what had happened. However, that statement didn't help his case. "She was screaming about something…and I remember black energy…..lots of it…..covering the room….." He put his head in his hands, ashamed that he couldn't remember. "Red…lots of red….I don't know if it was blood, or something else, but just the color red…."

"Anything else?" Robin asked.

Starfire and Cyborg weren't in the room at the time, for fear of upsetting Lydia. They didn't know what to tell her, other than Mama and Daddy had bumped their heads. They tried to entertain her in the living room, away from the gruesome scene in the Logan's bedroom, which was tapped off for evidence by Robin, because it was a mess and could contain clues.

"Anything at all, Beast Boy?" Robin asked him, pleading with him to say anything that might indicate otherwise to his worst fear. "Please, Beast Boy, I don't want to arrest you. And I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, because of last time. But Cyborg saw you, with his own eyes, beating her up until she lay there, on the floor. He had to hold you against your will because he was afraid you might maul her, and she just lay there, silent—"

"Just shut up! Shut the fuck up!" Garfield shouted angrily. He sat up from his bed, with his heart monitor next to him beating faster, before the machine slowed down. "You don't think I know what I did! I'm trying to remember what happen, but I can't! I just can't! And it hurts me far worse then it hurts you! I'm trying!"

"Okay, obviously you are aggravated right now." Robin said calmingly, trying to sooth the beast. "You can't think with this much stress right now. So, why don't we move your bed to another room, so you won't be distracted—"

"No! I'm not fucking leaving here!" Garfield shouted, hurt by Robin's words.

He lied back down on his bed, looking over to the floating body. She was still alive, and could wake up at any minute. Watching her soothed him, and Robin knew he wasn't going to get an answer if they were anywhere else. Robin allowed a few moments of silence to drift between them, only listening to both their heart monitors before he decided to try again.

"Okay," He said calmingly. "Now, do you remember what happened before that day?"

"Raven had come home from fighting." Garfield said, looking at her closed eyes, wanting them to open. "I had taken care of Lydia that day. And I was feeling….a little lonely…" He said, not sure how to phrase his words.

"What do you mean, lonely?" Robin asked, oblivious to what on earth he meant.

"…..So, she agreed, and so we asked Cyborg if he could watch Lydia….." Garfield continued on, ignoring Robin's question, however Robin discovered what the answer was when he continued. "…When we got to the room, something happened. All of a sudden, she didn't want to be alone with me anymore, her mood changed. It has never changed once she decides she wants to be with me….and she refused me, just as we were about to take off our clothes….."

* * *

"_I-I changed my mind, Garfield, let's not do it tonight. Another time. Not now." Raven had said in a worried voice, as she was rubbing her forehead, almost as if she had a headache._

"_Raven, what about your lust?" He had asked, confused to her sudden mood shift. "Rae?"_

"_Believe it or not….it has gone away, I just don't feel it anymore." She said, still gripping her head. _

"_Rae? Are you alright?"_

_She made her way to her medieval mirror, trying to look at her own reflection, but her headache sprinted on. She threw the mirror on the floor._

* * *

"She had some sort of headache…I don't know what it was….I tried to comfort her, find out what was wrong…" Garfield said.

* * *

"_Don't touch me, green slim!" She had shouted to Garfield, as soon as he put a hand to her. Her voice became demonic; her eyes had doubled and were glowing red. She knocked Garfield down, and looked over him, as he had taken off his shirt. "Look at you, can't even fight off a simple girl. You have the abs of a skinny eighth grader."_

"_Rage, don't even try me." Garfield said, trying to get up, but she had knocked him down again, this time she pinned him to the floor. "Why are you out? Nothing has come up to make you come out! Raven hasn't been happier!" He said as he tried to struggle._

"_Do I ever need an excuse? Being trapped in her mind is so boring, so I decided to come out. She tried to fight me, silly girl, but she knows she can't when she doesn't meditate properly." Rage said, beaming over Garfield's body, who was trying to overtake her. "Why did you forgive Robin? He was our enemy, our enemy! The hate that we shared together was comforting to me. I never liked you in the first place. You made her weak; that is until she would think of Terra, the only reason I tolerated your presence. And I began to like you more when we both hated Robin, but now you turn your back on me. Now I hate you again."_

_Garfield turned into a gorilla, being able to break Rage's grasp. He smacked her, sending her tumbling to the other side of the room. Even though Rage was strong, he could hold his own against such a villain. She lied there silently. He transformed back to his original form, trying to plead to the weak body._

"_Raven, please, snap out of it! You're better than this! Whatever you are angry about at the moment, whether it's with me or anybody else, please stop it! We can talk about this! Raven, you must fight this!" He pleaded with her. Rage then got back up and merely smiled._

"_It's not that easy, she is in deeper then you think. She can't hear you!" Rage said sneeringly, she made her way slowly to Garfield._

* * *

"And then what happened?" Robin asked. Garfield stared over to him.

"And then….that's it…like I said, something else happened…. she screamed about something…and I remembered black energy…" He said, looking back over to her. "If what you say is true …and I was the beast when you found me…..then her inner demons provoked my own demons."

"And that's all you remembered? You said something about her Rage claiming that she was not meditating correctly?" Robin asked.

"Yeah…yeah, I guess I did….." He looked down at his own heart monitor before looking over to hers. "If my beast came out….and she was the target…..I could have killed her….."

"But you didn't. If it makes you feel any better, I don't think you were trying to kill her, just to hurt her." Robin said, although he knew that didn't help Garfield at all. Robin saw that his words didn't comfort him. "What I mean is that you must have been fighting her demons away with your own to get her Rage out."

"I guess….." He said, not really listening to Robin, only amusing him by agreeing with him. "But there have always been better ways to get rid of her Rage….."

"You mean, this has happened before? Her rage comes out a lot?" Robin asked, once again oblivious as to how Garfield and Raven's relationship worked.

Oh, Raven's temper and powers, the only thing she had worried about when she was first going out with Garfield. She had thought that it would be the end of the world if she allowed herself to fall in love, because that meant not only would she become more prone to express affection and love on her part, but her other emotions would be expressed as well. And Rage was no exception.

"Remember all the times when we would break up?" Garfield asked Robin, trying to jog his memory, if he could remember that part of their lives at all.

"Remember them, how could we forget? Those weren't exactly quiet break ups. There were so many, that Cyborg started to put bets down when you guys would break up as soon as you would get back together." Robin said, trying to reminisce about the past; Garfield gave him a cold stare. "I discourage it, though."

"Well…she was afraid…."

"Afraid of falling in love—"

"—Yes, but mostly afraid of her anger. She became angry a lot when we were together, despite the fact that she also a lot happier too." He said. He looked back at her floating body. He tried to pinpoint all the scratch and bruises he made, counting them out of his own misery, as if it was his punishment to see how many times he had hurt her. "When she was afraid…..we would break it off….."

"But eventually you guys had overcome that problem?"

"Well, yes….I guess…..I had learned how to talk her out of it, as you saw that one time when you had apologized to her…..I had found ways to bring Raven back without so much as lifting a finger." He said. "In some ways, it forced me to grow up faster, as sometimes I had to take care of her afterward…she's not always the strong one you guys see….."

"So, becoming your beast is unusual then? It's not a regular thing?" Robin asked, as he was particularly afraid that Garfield had kept the beast a secret because he had to become his beast in order to tame Raven. Garfield looked up to him, as if he had just realized what Robin's fear was.

"No! I would never! I may have hidden it, but it wasn't because I was beating her up every weekend!" He said, furious that Robin would think of him so low. "How long have you known me? Don't those years count for anything?"

"Beast Boy, I'm not trying to accuse you, I just don't know how you two operate, so I just had to make sure. Calm down." Robin said, raising his voice a bit. Garfield started to breathe really hard, becoming angry at Robin for thinking of such a thing. "Just calm down." He said in a softer voice.

Garfield quietly sat up on his bed, trying to maintain a sense of control over his anger. He knew Robin didn't know anything about how he controlled Raven's anger, and he shouldn't blame Robin for thinking that he would become his beast and hit her to keep her emotions in check. He knew he shouldn't, for he didn't know what he had done himself, and anybody else in this situation would be under such questioning.

"Well," Garfield said, trying to get back on topic. "I would talk her out of it…..like you saw yourself that one time…..and it would work…..a few broken things here or there, and maybe she would beat me up sometimes, but Raven was still always there….trying to fight her anger while I was talking her through it….and she would fight through it…."

"So, what was different this time? Raven wasn't there?"

"No, she wasn't…..it was like she was possessed by her anger, and I don't know why because there wasn't anything going on that she was worried about…..one minute she was fine, ready to be…close with me…..the next minute—Rage." He said, trying to piece his memory together. He looked back over to her, looked at the machines he was hooked up to, and then looked up to Robin. "Can I get out of this bed?"

"I don't think that is a good idea. She may be able to heal herself, but you need to stay hooked up to these machines for now." Garfield looked somber. "But I guess I can leave you two alone, while I talked to the others. Don't get out of your bed, though, or I'll be forced to have someone babysit you."

"Is Lydia okay?" Garfield asked just as Robin was about to leave. "She…didn't see anything, did she?"

"No; lucky for you, she was asleep in Cyborg's arms when he found you two. She doesn't know what happened, and they're trying to keep her busy before she starts asking questions." Robin said, not wanting to look back at him.

"Robin, I didn't mean to…..even if I can't remember, I didn't mean to….." Garfield said.

"I know; I just wished you would have told us about the beast sooner." Robin said and then he walked out.


	13. The Trial of Raven

IT'S HARD TO COME BACK FROM VACATION AND SETTLE BACK INTO NORMAL LIFE. BUT I HAD THE ROYAL WEDDING AND THAT WAS SOMETHING. I WAS GLAD THAT HER DRESS WAS NOTHING LIKE DIANA'S, BECAUSE I HAD ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT DRESS WAS A LITTLE UNFLATTERING TO LOOK AT. BUT MY MOTHER ALWAYS SWORE THAT SHE LOOKED STUNNING FOR THE TIME THAT IT WAS IN. THAT'S THE '80'S FOR YA. OH WELL.

Robin felt betrayed that Garfield didn't tell them that his beast form was still inside of him. The whole team did. He might have saw Garfield becoming his beast when Trigon attacked, but he thought it was Raven or Trigon's magic that made his inner demons come out. But it was Garfield himself, hiding a secret that seemed to be shared only by him and Raven.

The team also felt a little betrayed by Raven, for knowing such a secret, and yet not telling anyone that he wasn't fully cured. But since they were a couple, and was the only one ever attacked, they figured she wanted to keep it quiet for his sake. Maybe she became more attached to him and started to date him _because_ he could relate to her more with his own inner demons. She probably took it upon herself to train his demons, not out of mere pity, but a sense of duty that she felt she owed the world. And that duty probably turned into love.

Robin went out to the living room, with Cyborg and Starfire looking up at him as they were watching a movie with Lydia, who was too wrapped up in the movie to notice their sudden mood change.

"So, what's the plan for tonight, at least?" Robin asked, as he walked closer. He looked over to Lydia. She was in Starfire's arms, with Cyborg sitting next to them. She wasn't paying attention to them.

"Cyborg suggested to having a 'slumbering party'. I would, if I am not mistaken, sleep here with Lydia." Starfire said, looking to Cyborg as she was saying it to see if she was saying it correctly.

"Just keep her occupy for the night, and try to tire her out by making her watch movies until she falls asleep." Cyborg said. He looked up to Robin. "So? Can he remember?"

"No, unfortunately. But he did remember that Raven's emotions were acting out. So, there was some cause as to how his beast came out. It must have been something heavy that she did to make him transform, because he was just as surprised as I was. And he's the one who knew this whole time that he wasn't quite cured." Robin informed him.

"Well, Rae was the one who comforted him the first time." Cyborg said, lowering his voice so Lydia wouldn't listen, even though she hadn't been listening this whole time. "I asked her later what he had said to her, and she just said that he apologized for his behavior throughout the week, she said some words of encouragement, and then he tried to make a joke about it, which did not amuse her. That's all. She never told me that he was still harboring that beast inside of him, nor did she seem hesitant to lie about it. She acted perfectly normal when I asked her."

"She was probably afraid that you would do something extra to him that he didn't want, in order to be cured." Starfire said. "Maybe she didn't know it herself."

"No, she knew. Beast Boy said it himself that he told her that night. And that it made her, somehow, feel safer because of it. Like that beast was a protector of hers, or something. Sometimes their reasoning and drama is a little too high school for me." Robin said.

"Well, technically BB didn't go to school and Rae was raised—" Cyborg said.

"I know. I'm just saying that hiding that information was dangerous. They had a team to think about, and they didn't inform us about it." He said.

"Please, let's not accuse friends of something we know not of yet." Starfire said. "There could be a good reason why Raven didn't tell us. Beast Boy is in shock right now, and when he is well, he could tell us his side of the story as well." Starfire said. She then looked over to Robin. "Besides, we all have personal demons that we would not like to tell others."

Robin put his head down, for he knew what she was talking about. He had betrayed the trust of the team before, and even though it was long ago, he still wasn't in any position to criticize someone else's secrets. Robin took a seat next to Starfire.

"Uncle Robin, where is Daddy? I want Daddy. Aunt Stary said he isn't here." Lydia asked. Robin didn't know what to do other than to keep a smile on his face so that Lydia wouldn't get upset. Starfire held onto his hand as he tried to find the words to tell her something, anything.

"Your mom and dad aren't feeling well. They had an accident." Robin said softly to her. "We are trying to fix them, but they won't be able to take care of you for a while. But Aunt Starfire, Uncle Cyborg and I are going to take care of you. Okay?"

Lydia's eyes merely widen, but she didn't say anything. She sucked her thumb, looked back to watch the movie, and fell deeper into Starfire's arms.

"I want Daddy." She said quietly to Starfire.

"I know, little one, but they will get better soon." Starfire said. "Do you want some Earth 'ice cream'?"

Lydia nodded her head. She followed Starfire into the kitchen, wanting to pig out on any ice cream that was left in the freezer.

"When will Daddy come back?" She asked. Starfire put the selection of ice cream on the counter.

"I do not know, but don't worry little one, we will have a slumber party tonight while Beast Boy gets better." Starfire said. Lydia still did not look excited, she tried to hide her tears as she was told to not cry loudly. "Earth 'ice cream' will make you feel better. And maybe I could do the 'braiding of your hair' too."

"We also have some Disney movies." Robin said, walking over to them. He grabbed Lydia and put her up on one of the high stools, as he took a seat next to her. "After this is over, we can watch _Cinderella_, or maybe _The Lion King_?"

"I guess." She said looking down as Starfire handed her a bowl that was overflowing with various scoops of ice cream. "I want Daddy."

"Hey, don't start crying. Your mother wouldn't like that." Robin said, as he put his arm around her.

It didn't seem that long ago that Robin was prepared to move out of the Tower with Starfire just to get away from Raven's pregnancy, but once he had said he was sorry, he had meant it. Now he treated Lydia like his own daughter, as Starfire had suggested before.

"Your dad would want you to act like a big girl, and not pout while they are not here." He said. Lydia hesitantly took the spoon placed next to her bowl and took a bite of her ice cream. After she swallowed, she looked up to him, drying up her eyes.

"_The Lion King_." She said silently. "I want my blanket." Pointing over to the large tan blanket in the corner. She was about to put her thumb in her mouth, but realized what she was going to do and put it down, trying to act like the young lady her father told her to be.

"Okay." Robin said.

* * *

"You don't have to babysit me, I can behave." Garfield said softly, as Cyborg was checking up on him the next day. He only had on his sweatpants, as Cyborg was changing his bandages. He slowly lift his arm to allow Cyborg to replace it, he also had one around his abdomen.

He had disobey Robin's orders, and got out of his bed; detached himself to all the machines that he was hooked up to just so he could put a blanket over Raven, so he wouldn't have to look at the scratches anymore. He also thought that maybe she was getting cold, as her clothes were about to rip apart from the seams. It took a while for the team to change her clothes to that breakable hospital gown that while she kept levitating above the bed.

"You know perfectly well that Robin said not to get out of bed. You did, and the whole Tower went off since the heart monitor said that you were dead. I knew too well that you just got out of bed, but you disobeyed an order and now have to pay the consequences." Cyborg said.

"Well, she looked cold." He said, trying to argue with someone who wasn't going to argue back. "Ow! That stings." He said, as Cyborg put some ointment on his bruised skin to prevent an infection.

"Sorry, I'm trying to be careful, but you know how it is." Cyborg said. They sat there quietly, as he was dabbing the ointment on his bruises before putting another layer of bandages over it.

"Cyborg?"

"Hmm?"

"Was I….I mean…when I was the beast…" Garfield asked with Cyborg looking down to him. "Was I really trying to hurt her?"

"I don't know man, I mean, yeah, I might have caught you hitting her, but I don't know what happen. But at least I know you still have it in you, so I can try to get rid of it altogether now." He said.

"No!" Garfield said in protest.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Cyborg asked, perplexed by his refusal. Garfield looked guilty immediately after he said so.

"I mean, you _can't_ get rid of it." He said. "Look, I didn't tell you guys, because you would just worry that I would _always_ transform into this beast if I got angry. But that's not the case at all. I know how to keep it inside; it's a part of the many animals I can transform into. Except, I only use it as a last resort in rare situations. Like the time Trigon took over. I can control it; that's why I am scared right now, because if I could control it, then I must have _wanted_ it to come out."

He looked over to Raven's floating body. This time her bruises, scratches, and marks seemed to be healing up.

"Plus," He added, looking down at his lap with a small smile on his face. "I also kept it a secret because Rae said I was a man for learning how to control it. And that just meant the world to me, even though I technically still wasn't going out with her, at the time."

"So, you kept it a secret out of pride? Because you were afraid you would lose your powers if I tried to cure you again and also that Rae thinks you are a man because of it?" Cyborg said.

"Well no—it's more complicated than that—"

"Beast Boy." Cyborg interrupted him in stern voice. "I know you better then Robin does, I'm on your side, really I am. But what you and Rae did was dangerous—"

"—Everything we do is dangerous—" Garfield remarked, not wanting to hear another lecture.

"—No, not everything. Rae knows how to control her powers; she's lived all her life into perfecting it. But this, this beast form was thrust upon you, and you have no idea how it works or how much you can control yourself when you are this beast." Cyborg said. He went back to rewrapping his bandages.

"Cy? Is the team _that_ mad at me? I mean, I didn't mean to—"

"I know, B, I know." He said solemnly, trying to concentrate on his work. He looked down to him. "If it's any comfort, I am probably the only one who has forgiven you. I also forgiven Rae too, since she's smart enough to know what she was getting herself into by keeping it a secret; she must have had a good reason because this was before she went out with you. And we don't know what happened, and once Rae wakes up, she could probably remember better."

"If she wakes up." Garfield said in a guilty tone, looking back to her. Cyborg finished up with his bandages, allowing him to lie back in his bed.

He felt sorry for his green friend, because he was being lectured by almost everyone on the team, even though he was sorry. He had a guilty conscious while he waited for the only person he rather be lectured by to wake up. All of this, while not allowed to see his daughter, for she might freak out and cause the Tower some destruction by releasing her powers from her emotions. The sorry look on his face was too much for his half robotic friend.

"Tell ya what," Cyborg said, lowering his voice so he wouldn't be overheard by the others if they were nearby. "If you promise not to get out of bed this time, I'll leave you alone for a while. Possibly an hour, if Robin doesn't get back. But if you get caught getting out of bed, you're on your own, and you'll have to hear it from Robin again."

Garfield smiled, appreciating the pity and his kind gesture that his friend was giving him.

"I promise I won't get out of bed." He said. Just as Cyborg was about to walk through the door quietly, he added, "And thank you."

"No problem, green bean." Cyborg said with a small smile on his face. "If there's someone who can love a half Demon, maybe there's someone who can love a half robot."

"Maybe." He commented, bringing a sense of hope to his half robotic friend, before Cyborg walked out, closing the door.

* * *

Garfield was slowly getting better, although he was still confined to his hospital bed, while Raven seemed to be healing up quicker. He tried to play with his electronic handheld device in order to pass the time, before something would interrupt him that he would go back to staring at her. He even tried to read one of the books she had picked out for him, ironically, _The Lord of the Flies_, a book warning about animal type behavior plaguing society. Although once he found out the truth about 'the monster', he would start to feel guilty, again. This is probably why he didn't read that much; it made him think too hard.

Each day felt like a year; each hour felt like a day to him. Every day, he felt alone, as he thought the other's hated him, although he was exaggerating their reactions, but still, nobody seemed to want to get in a conversation with him. It was a week before he stopped eating altogether, going deep into a depression, forcing the others to put a tube in him. That's when they all started to feel sorry for him, but still commented that they he was starting to act childish about the matter. They all had gotten hurt really badly at one time or another, but they all managed to pull through just fine. They were hopeful for Raven, and thought he didn't need to act all helpless when her charts looked just fine, she was just in a coma.

"I don't care if they think I am acting childish; I have a right to act this way." He told Raven's floating body one day, when Cyborg gave him some alone time. He looked down, regretting his comment. "No, I don't. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but can you blame me?"

He listened to her soft breathing, which was being interrupted by the loud beating of the heart monitor.

"This kind of reminds me our first date; you, not talking to me. Me, talking too much." He said smiling. "I'm reading that book _Pride and Prejudice_ again; you know you can learn more about a book by reading it again, since you know what's going to happen. Of course you probably already know that."

Occasionally, he would go back to his book or electronic handheld device. Sometimes he would listen to the clock ticked away. All of a sudden, on that quiet afternoon, Raven's heart monitor began to beep irregularly.

"Raven?" He said to himself, seeing her body slowly lowered to the bed, her heart monitor began to beep normally as she slowly opened her eyes, and sat up on the bed. "Raven?"

Raven looked over at the scene she was in, looked down at her own body, and looked over at her green companion that was injured in a similar fashion.

"G-Garfield?" She asked, not quite sure what was going on. She gripped her head in pain, as it just all came to her at the moment what was going on.

"Raven." Garfield said, unhooking every needle and tube from him, in order to get out of bed.

He ran over to her bed, imaging at any moment that the whole team would burst in, wanting to scream at him that he unhooked his machine again. He didn't care anymore; a day ago, in his moody state, he may have done everything in the world to please them, but now that she was up and about, he cared only about her at the moment. She saw her clothes, and saw that they were changed to a simple long white dress made of a thin material, that felt like paper. Garfield took her hand and held onto it tightly. The grip somehow comforted her. She saw his face brightening up as she gave him her other hand.

"Garfield, I-I'm sorry." She said in a grave tone.

"BB, I told you not to—" Cyborg shouted as he came running in. He saw that Raven was sitting up, with Garfield kneeling down. He walked over to Garfield's bed, in order to unplug the machine so it wouldn't keep beeping. "So, Rae, you're up. Welcome back. Can you remember at all what happened?"

"She just got up, Cy, can't you give her a minute—"

"No, I remember…." Raven interrupted. She unhooked her heart monitor, as she was up, and could heal herself now, and unplugged her machine. "I remember…I'm sorry, Garfield….." She whispered, avoiding his eye contact "…I'm sorry….."

He got up on her bed, with her making room for him, although she still didn't face him. He put his arms around her, with her becoming comfortable in his embrace.

"What are you sorry for, I'm the one who transformed into my beast form—" He said, as he gently kissed her hand.

"—You did?" She said, surprised, looking over to him.

"Yeah," He said, surprised at her reaction. "You don't remember that? The whole team is upset at us for keeping it a secret."

"Robin thought it was dangerous for you guys to keep such a secret." Cyborg said, chiming himself into the conversation. He took a seat next to the window, which was next to Raven's bed, facing them.

"I really don't think its Robin's concern about whether or not he has his beast form. He can control it." She said a little irritated that anyone would be focusing on that part, if they knew the whole story. "It's a part of him, for better or worse. And I know since the day he apologized that he knew how to control it."

Garfield felt better that she was up and could help fight his battles for him. He probably could fight his own battles before, but when anything came out of Raven's mouth, a particularly smart young lady, everyone would listen to her. Nobody could really take Garfield seriously, only because he had built his reputation as the jokers. He was also the youngest, and the team felt like he hadn't matured enough to know anything, even if the other's were like a couple of years older.

"What happened, Rae? What do you remember?" Cyborg asked. Garfield raised a hand in protest.

"Whoa, hold up. Let's not get into interrogations. She just got up. She's in shock." He said, before placing his hand back on her shoulder.

"I'm fine, Garfield." She told him, but he only believed it was a half-hearted statement. She turned to Cyborg. "I don't know what he told you, but it's my fault about what happened."

"Uhhun, and tell me, what do you remember, if you don't even remember that BB here turned into his wolf?" Cyborg said, trying to filter out what the truth was and what Raven statements were, for he figured she was trying to protect Garfield from any investigation.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a wolf." Garfield commented. "And maybe she does remember me turning into—"

"Stop arguing, the two of you. It's not Garfield's fault. It's mine." She said, he held onto her hand as she tried to recall what happened. She noticed his marks and bruises, surprised as to how much damage she did to him. "You're hurt—"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Really, I am." He said; now _she_ didn't believe him. She frowned as she gazed into his eyes.

"I let my Rage get the better of me." She said.

"That, I remembered, the only thing I remembered." He said.

"She taunted you. She insulted you. She beat you up. I thought you might have had a few scratches, but I didn't think you would need bandages or stitches." She said, again looking over at his injuries.

"I don't have any stitches." He said, trying to make her feel better.

"She must of have said something," She said, as she brushed away a lock of his hair behind his ear. "That made your beast come out."

"Is that all you remembered?" Cyborg asked, interrupting their moment together. "Because it sounds exactly what BB said."

"Yes, but the difference is that I started it! My Rage provoked him to attack me. Maybe I was really deep in my trance, but I know what she is capable of." She snapped at Cyborg. "I don't know Garfield's side to the story anyway. But whatever it is, either way, _I'm_ the one who provoked the attack." She looked down at her injuries that were healing better with each passing moment "If anything, I thought I did this to myself, until he said that his beast came out. But I know he didn't mean it. It was my Rage."

"Hey, hey I'm on your side, both of your guy's side." Cyborg said, not prepared for Raven's bold attacks. "I'm just trying to get a side that would appease Robin."

"But I'm sensing that you think Garfield did something more sinister then what had happened." She said, admitting to reading Cyborg's mind and poking inside his head. She rarely did that anymore around her friends, only to Garfield, but once she woke up, she couldn't help but sense things. The negative energy that was polluting the room was overwhelming her.

"Okay, okay, maybe I did. But we had no idea what had happened, and the only thing I saw was BB here hitting you—"

"Okay, we get it!" Garfield interrupted, not wanting to listen to that scenario again.

"What made you lose your Rage?" Cyborg asked. She changed her expression from frustration to her usual quiet self.

"Nothing. It was an accident. It won't happen again." She said in her monotone. "I'll tell Robin it was my fault, and that I am going to fix my own problem. And that should be the end of it."

It was as if her tender self when she first woke, never happened, and she resorted to her safe natural self.

"I don't know Rae; you both have been in here for a week, with Star and Robin taking care of Lydia. I don't think he'll want that kind of answer. And if you can't remember—"

"He didn't do anything." She said plainly, staring deep into Cyborg's eyes with determination to win this argument. Cyborg tried to say something else, but her look gave him the respond that she wasn't going to answer any more questions.

"Okay, I give up. You guys are on your own when Robin starts asking questions, though." He said.

Then he began to check her charts to make sure she wasn't suffering from anything and Garfield's as well, before he decided to walk out. He would try asking questions later. Raven usually didn't give Cyborg such a cold shoulder towards him. Besides Garfield, he was the least annoying one on the team. Sure, Robin was just as serious as Raven was, but he sometimes had a big ego that didn't sit well with Raven. And Starfire was just, well, too cheery for Rae's taste.

Garfield clutched her hands, as she looked into his eyes. She looked down and saw that his abdomen and arm had bandages over them. She gently covered her hands on both, releasing her cold energy that slowly healed them. She unwrap the bandages to make sure they had properly healed altogether. He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Maybe you should grow your hair. There's not enough violet hair in the world." He said softly.

"You know I like to keep it short. Out of the way. Long hair takes too much work; I don't have time to maintain it." She said, grabbing his hand that pushed her hair behind her ear. "Is Lydia okay?"

"Yeah. Star and Robin have been keeping her occupied. It's almost a vacation for her, because she doesn't have to meditate all the time." He said.

"They're not making her meditate?" She asked, letting go of his hand.

"Yes, they are, but they just don't make it a priority." He said.

"I have to make sure she meditates properly." She said, getting out of bed.

"Raven, get back here." He said sternly. She ignored his remark and continued to make her way towards the door. "Raven." She stopped and turned to gaze at him. "Lydia's fine. Starfire said that she hasn't been acting up or anything. Her emotions are in check. Now, will you come back to bed, and sit here until you are healed." He said, as it was more of a command, rather than a question.

"Lydia's emotions are not in check. She could explode at any moment—"

"—But she hasn't—" He said.

"—She can't go this long without proper meditation—"

"—She has been getting proper meditation—"

"—They probably gave her so much sugar that it has made her gone wild—"

"—They haven't; she's actually very calm—"

"—I can't trust Starfire to keep her still and focus her energy—"

"—_I_ can—"

"—Listen to me, Garfield!" She shouted over his interruptions. He stopped and waited for her to take a moment before she said something. "If Lydia doesn't meditate properly, then this whole week could happen again." She said in her monotone, trying to let Garfield know how serious she was.

"Rae, what do you mean?" He asked. She didn't say anything for a while.

"Nothing; forget it." She said in her monotone, careful not to give any hints of emotions in her voice. He was starting to get mad with all her secrecy. "I made a mistake. I've fixed it, but it might happen again if Lydia doesn't meditate properly. That's all."

"Rae, you know I don't like to play 'the whole mystery girl routine' of yours. I thought we were done with that." He said sternly.

"I thought so too." She said somberly.

Before Garfield could say another word, she ran out of the room. She only had that thin hospital gown, so she used her black energy to grab her cloak as Garfield followed behind her. She could have transport herself to the living room with her powers, but she didn't want to scare anyone by all of sudden popping up in front of them. So, it forced herself to run out into the hallway, to appear in the doorway, as not to surprise anyone. Well, surprise, but not to scare the living bejesus out of them.

The living room was so far away, and she didn't mind the endless stairs and corridors she had to run through, but Garfield was trying to keep up with her, and he wasn't as fit as she was.

While she was running, with her blue cloak's cape taunting Garfield as he was following her, she all of a sudden stopped and allowed him to catch up to her. She was so closed to the living room, and yet she decided not to intrude onto anyone.

"Raven…." He said, panting as he was trying to catch his breath. "Raven….Raven…what's wrong? Why did you run….and why did you stop?" Even though he was well healed, he shouldn't have done any strenuous actively so soon.

She looked over to her hunch back husband, who was trying to quiet his breathing. Even though she was mad at him before, for something that wasn't even his fault, she started to feel pity for him, and feeling guilty herself. She walked over to him, making him sit down on the floor as she put a hand on his chest.

"You're breathing really hard." She commented as she released some energy through her hand. His panting began to slow down, until he started to breath calmly. "I'm sorry I made you run so hard. Especially since that should be the last thing you should do after being in the hospital for so long."

She lifted him up, and used her powers to transport them both back to the hospital. She wasn't feeling that well herself after foolishly deciding to run to the living room instead of just transporting there. She helped him to his bed, as she looked out at the window, gazing into the light blue ocean, as the waves crashed into each other.

"Since you have been watching Lydia, I have been afraid she wasn't getting that much meditation done." She confessed, as she continued to watch the ocean dance back and forth, making her calm. "When she meditates, while she is saying her mantra, she sometimes thinks too much. She won't focus on her center, and this causes me to worry."

"She's only a child now; she'll get better with time." He said, trying to ease her mind.

"I know, but I still worry." She said. She looked back at him for a moment before looking back at the ocean. "I….." She said, trying to steady her voice. "I started to tell her stories, while she meditated, to keep her mind quiet. I focused so much on her concentrating, that _I_ couldn't even meditate properly."

"How could that happen?" He asked.

"I guess my emotions became so overwhelming, that when I finally tried to suppress them through meditation, they became too strong, and I couldn't fight back." She said, she looked back to him, turning around. "For a while, I sacrificed my own meditation time for our daughter's."

Garfield got out of his bed, and stood next to her. They both stared out at the water, and how it was violently moving back and forth, but yet it was so calming to watch.

"During the battle that day when I attacked you, Robin wanted Cyborg to do something even though I volunteered. I felt like he had underestimated my powers, and that was enough to make my Rage come out."

"Raven…" He said sadly.

"I know." She said, already knowing full well what he was about to say. "You may not like it when I play 'the mystery girl', but it's a defense mechanism to help cope with the ugly truth. I didn't want you to know about it."

"Raven, you've always had this fear, why have you let it overcome you?" He asked, as he put his arm around her. He lifted his ear up as he realized something. "What do you mean, 'the ugly truth'?"

"I don't know why I let it overrun me; it just happened." She said, ignoring his second comment for the moment.

"Rae? I don't like repeating myself. What's 'the ugly truth'?" He asked, lifting her chin so that her eyes could meet his.

"I can't train her by myself; I need help." She confessed, staring deep into his eyes.

Even though it was such a simple statement, it was damaging to her pride. It was satisfying to be the quiet one on the team, and to be able to solve most, if not all, of the team's mediocre problems. She liked to be the one to go to when someone wanted a solution to their problem. The team went to her because she wasn't afraid to be blunt with them. If anything, there hardly was a time when she _wasn't_ brutally honest. She had admitted fears to Garfield before, but she was ashamed that this _one_ problem that she thought she could solve by herself was too much for her.

Garfield could see that she was disappointed in herself, and lowered her head down in shame. He lifted her chin up, forcing her eyes to meet his, even though she wanted to look away. He didn't know what to say or do, other than to continue to stare at her, as if it might be a comfort to her and him as well, because they both knew what had to be done after that. Finally, after what seem like forever, she hugged him tightly. She held back her tears.

"It's okay, Rae, it's okay." He said, patting her back.

* * *

Not a single word was said after that; they merely just stood there and embraced each other for what seem like all night. Even when the other's found them up and about the room, there wasn't anything they could say to break up their embrace. Raven was probably in a different world altogether, trying to meditate while standing up, as she embraced her green lover. Garfield's mind was still on planet Earth, but he didn't respond to the others when they came in. Even when Robin started to get mad, Garfield didn't flicker an eyelash.

"Guys, seriously, you really need to break it up." Cyborg had said. "I understand the need to hug, but you have been standing there for knows how long?"

Even when it started to get dark, neither one of them seemed to budge from their position. They were standing there, eyes closed, and swaying back and forth, with him occasionally patting her on the back. To the team, it might have been a lover's game they were playing, but for both of them, they knew full well they were only comforting each other for the truth that they knew.

After the Logan's had come back from Azarath a month before, Raven had told Garfield about what Arella had said to her. That if Raven couldn't handle the responsibilities of meditation with Lydia that she should send Lydia to Azarath for a couple of years to be trained by the monks.

Despite much bickering and arguments between them, Garfield had come to accept that it seemed like the only other option they had.

Now that Raven had admitted that she did _indeed_ need help, after she tried a drastic exercise to get Lydia to meditate better, they both knew what that meant. Not another word needed to be said, not another explanation needed to be hashed out. Garfield didn't know how to train Lydia; he could barely get into meditation himself. So, if Raven was having trouble, then that was trouble indeed.

It wasn't until after a couple of hours past before Garfield seem to let go, somberly looking at her closed eyelids. She didn't object to him letting go, but she still held onto his hands as she could feel his weight shift when he broke it off. She didn't want to look at him, for fear of what his eyes would say to her that would make her feel even guiltier then she already was feeling.

"We should talk about this some more, before we come to a decision." He said, with her nodding her head. "Rae, look at me…" Trying to get her to open her eyes, but she didn't look. "….it's not your fault." Trying to find the right words to say. "I was the one who wanted her…..I mean you did warned me about….you tried your best….there was nothing…I'm sorry." He finally said.

"There's nobody to blame. Things just happen. We must look to the future and not look back." She said in her monotone after a while. She didn't want to feel sorry for herself, that would be pointless and not accomplish anything, but she didn't want to point the finger at anybody, or Garfield would only blame himself. She opened her eyes and looked up to him. "It's a good thing you got to have her so young, so she could love you dearly. When she'll come back from Azarath, she might become a whole new person."

"No, she won't." He said, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "She'll just be less affectionate. But if she would be anything different, she'll become _you_. And that's not altogether a bad thing. If anything, I'll love her more if she does."

"Oh, Garfield." She said softly as he kissed her forehead, giving him a small smile. "I'm sorry….for ruining your—"

"Shhhh, Rae. Like I said, we'll talk more about this later. Right now, I am just glad you're alive. I could have killed you." He said softly, as they both stared out into the dark ocean.

"I wonder what our friends think of us after all of this." She said, as she got more comfortable in his arms.

"At a time like this, frankly, Raven my dear, I don't give a damn." He said, as they continued to watch the current beat up against the rocks.

WELL SCHOOL IS ALMOST OVER FOR ME, I GOT MOST IF NOT ALL MY FINALS DONE. SO I JUST HAVE ANOTHER MONTH OF GOING TO SCHOOL, AND THEN I'M DONE. DON'T KNOW WHAT CLASSES I'LL TAKE FOR SUMMER. SEE YA NEXT WEEK.


	14. Paying Their Dues

THIS HAS BEEN A ROCKY WEEK FOR ME, WITH THE ROYAL WEDDING, WITH PEOPLE ARGUING WITH ME ABOUT THE LOGIC, AND OSAMA BIN LADEN, AND POLITICIANS ARE STILL FIGHTING AT A TIME WHEN WE SHOULD COME TOGETHER, AND JAPAN IS STILL RECOVERING ….AND…..AND…..AND….._(BREATHES HEAVILY, STARTS THINKING ABOUT RAE AND BB, AND CALMS DOWN)_ I'M OKAY, I'M OKAY. JUST GOT A LITTLE EMOTIONAL THERE. ENJOY.

"Lydia, please concentrate." Raven said to her.

Two months had passed, and each day Lydia's powers were becoming stronger, and yet each day Rae was getting even more anxious. Her powers were still weak enough that it couldn't be triggered by just a pure emotion, but it could be triggered by an extreme emotion that could do more damage in the world than ever before.

They were sitting in a lotus position in their bedroom, with Lydia wearing her yellow footed pajamas for comfort. Her hair was in a ponytail as usual, with no bows. She was sitting on the floor, as oppose to her mother levitating above her, and she was trying her hardest to get comfortable.

Her new charka helped her out a bit, as it seemed to ease her mind to just _one_ thought instead of _many_ as before. She would close her eyes, sit down, inhale and exhale just like her mother, but then she would have trouble finding that 'center' that her mother rambled on about. What was this 'center' to her? She didn't know. Even when Raven tried to explain it to her as simple as she could, a happy thought, it became an oxymoron that didn't make any sense.

A happy thought? How about a happy activity, and meditating wasn't a happy one to her. Lydia tried to think of animals, movies, or possibly imaging her Daddy changing into animals, but all this thinking about happy things made her want to _do_ them, instead of _thinking_ about them. Thus, she had a difficult time focusing and concentrating on _just_ her 'center'.

Raven knew she wasn't getting anywhere, and didn't know what else to do other then tried to manipulate her emotions so that Lydia _would_ be having a good time while meditating. However, it became a dangerous method as it not only disrupted Raven'sown meditation, but she also realized that she wasn't teaching her daughter how to meditate on her own; Raven was doing it for her.

She and Garfield had another _long_ talk about Azarath. He was against it and she was too, but she figured they should start talking about their options now, before Lydia's powers became too much to handle. He made the argument that Lydia would get into meditation eventually, and that maybe they could have a family meditation together, if that's what it took.

So, for now, Raven was staring down at the three year-old going on four year-old, hoping that she could start levitating, as a sign of controlling her powers. She could sense power in her, but for the current moment, it was able to be contained within her body.

"I don't like med-ation." Lydia said, while she cringed at the idea of holding still.

" 'Med-i-ta-tion', Lydia. And I know. But you must learn how to control your powers before you can use them." Raven said, as she decided to close her own eyes, and get lost in her own world. "How about a story?"

"Yes, a story." Lydia said with excitement.

"Lydia." She said sternly, Lydia went back to her composure.

"Sorry, I forgot I have to be ser-ious." Lydia said, as she eagerly awaited her mother's story.

"Okay." Raven said, as she calmly lowered her voice to a soft whisper, and tried to keep her monotone. "Do you remember about the story of 'Snow White and the Seven Drawfs'?"

"Yes, Mama." Lydia said calmingly, trying not to aggravate her, which would stop 'story time'.

"Well, you also know about the Wicked Queen?" She asked.

"Yes, she was bad." Lydia said.

"Yes, but she always wasn't bad. Are people really born wicked and evil? Or do they become evil over time?" Raven asked, but it was more of a rhetoric question.

Lydia listened intently as she could tell that her mother was about to start the story. Her mother always did that; ask questions that were not meant to be answer by Lydia herself in order to start the story. She strengthened up her back, as she was told to sit up while she meditated or she would get a backache later, and tried to breathe steady.

"Once upon a time, before Snow White was born, before the Wicked Queen was born, there lived an angel in Heaven. One day, she fell from the sky and landed on Earth. While on Earth, she saw the devil doing dirty tricks to people. So, as she was trying to stop him, she ended up falling in love. And they gave birth to a child on Earth. This was the Wicked Queen, and while she had the beauty and gentle voice from her mother, she had also inherited her father's evil nature."

Lydia could just imagine a ball of darkness and a ball of lightness merging together to create the young girl that would one day grow up to be the infamous Wicked Queen. In her mind, she just looked like Snow White, as she didn't know what the Queen actually looked like as she was always covered in her hood.

"She also could practice magic. She was raised to be a sweet girl by her mother, but grew to understand that if her beauty would ever fade away, or that she wouldn't be the 'fairest', then the people would know that she was a witch as people would see her for what she really is, and would burn her for it. Witchcraft was a crime back then, and people would be executed for it. She worked really hard to keep her beauty."

Lydia relaxed her body. Her mind was only thinking about the images that her mother would describe, instead of a series of unrelated images she was thinking before. Her hands were resting on her knees, with her palms facing up, while her fingers slowly started to cringe inside her palms.

"When Snow White's mother died, the King found the young Queen. He was intrigued by her gentle voice as well as beauty and she became his Queen. She created herself a mirror to let her know when her looks were fading. And then you know what happens from there." Raven said, coming close to the conclusion. "At first she was a sweet Queen, until she realized that Snow White could become prettier than her. So, her father's traits overtook her, and her jealously and greed came out."

"No happy ending?" Lydia asked, as the images being played out in her head shattered.

"Well, it's more of a caution story, then a happy ending story." Raven said, as she could sense that Lydia wasn't satisfied. "Well, think about this, there have been many evil witches throughout fairy tales, and most of the time they are bad. However, not everybody knows why they are bad. Everybody knows all about the hero, but people rarely question the villain."

"Are all witches bad?" She asked.

"No, some witches are good." Raven merely said. "But it is how one uses their powers that will determine what they will do is for the greater good or bad."

"Powers? Like you?" She asked, as if she just realized what her mother's true motives were behind the story.

"Yes, like me. And you." Raven said, not expecting her to catch the underlining allegory of the story so fast. She thought it would be nice to start telling Lydia stories about how bad guys became bad guys, instead of Disney trying to plague her mind with this 'happily ever after' junk, where the guy rescues the damsel in distress nonsense. "The Wicked Queen could have been a good witch, but she allowed jealousy and greed to take over her."

"And we're good witches?" She asked, as her mind started to imagine an empty grassy field, filled with various types of flowers. The flowers represented witches, as some flowers were very pretty and easy to collect while other's had thorns on their stems.

"It's a little more complicated than that. However, yes, yes we are in a sense 'witches'. That's why we're meditating." Raven said.

She sensed Lydia found her center, and she didn't say anymore in case Lydia would lose it. They would meditate as long as Lydia kept on focusing. As soon as she would tire out would Rae stop the session.

* * *

Two days later, Lydia's 'playroom' was ready. And by 'playroom', it meant meditation room. She liked playing in the living room, as she had a view of the city and ocean. Garfield's old green room was renovated to become a child's room, which didn't require much renovating to begin with, a comment Rae made to him in her amusement.

One wall where the door was at was painted baby blue, another wall painted light green, the third wall where the window and bed was at was painted light purple, and the fourth was painted white, while the ceiling was a light yellow. The mixture of all those wall colors was supposed to test Lydia to see how she adapted to certain colors and how that affected her. Also, they figured it would amuse her to have her meditation room be painted many different colors.

Everything belonging to Garfield was shut away in his closet, or already in his own room. Lydia's toys and her other favorite items were stored in the room. The top pink bunk beds was set up with a mattress and a sheet, so that Lydia could take her naps in there, and in time, it would become _her_ room in general. However, for now it was her meditation and napping room.

Lydia was excited to take a nap in a different room and it wasn't that hard to get her to take her first nap that day. She was tucked in by Raven, while Rae read a book and hummed a tune to get her to fall asleep faster. There wasn't any crime happening in the city, it was as if the criminals themselves decided to take a nap that day too.

"Yeah….I…." Raven sang softly as Lydia's eyes had been closed for quite some time, preparing to dream. Garfield quietly opened the door. "Tell you something…..I think you'll understand…."

She was hovering above the floor, sitting in her lotus position, facing away from the door, and was reading from one of her own books before she decided to break out into song to get Lydia to sleep faster.

He had never really heard Rae sing, he would only catch her humming from time to time if she was ever in a musical mood. He would usually do the singing, and he was terrible at it, but she didn't mind as she knew he would only sing in the first place to get her to laugh at his bad vocal cords. He could only imagine what Rae would sound like singing, not just a mere humming of a tune, but actually raising her voice to sing.

"When I…..say that something….." She gently sang as she turned a page of her book. She didn't stretch her vocal cords as if she was pretending she was a contestant on American Idol; she just merely added words to her humming. It was soft, sometimes crackling as it was in her nature to talk so nonchalantly, but still soft enough to be enjoyable by someone _not_ in the music industry. "I wanna hold your hand…."

She could then sense Garfield's presence in the room as soon as he walked through the door. She stopped singing and turned around, firmly planting her feet on the ground. She looked back to Lydia to make sure she didn't wake up from the disruption. After she realized Lydia was asleep, Rae blushed, looking back to Garfield, not exactly sure what to say.

"Rae, I didn't know you could sing so good." He said, ignoring the faults in her singing such as the occasional crackling of her voice here and there or being off key.

"'Sing so _well_'." She corrected him. "And no, I can't sing. I was just trying to get her to sleep, and kids don't care about sound quality at this age."

He walked over to her, looking down at the book that she was reading, as she wrapped her arms around it. It was a big leather black book with the pages laced with gold on the paper edges. The title was in a language he could not understand, it didn't look like Spanish, the only other language he could recognized as it was everywhere in California next to English. Not that he could _read_ Spanish anyway.

"My book on meditation." She said as she noticed him staring at it.

"I was just curious, that's all. You seemed to always be reading something by your side." He said, as she handed him the book, to satisfy his curiosity.

"Have we met?" She asked in her monotone voice, raising an eyebrow. Her blushing quickly faded away by this point.

"Have _we_ met?" He asked, adding his own spin on things.

He was always curious about the books she would be carry around, especially if it was in a different language. Probably anything that Raven did that wasn't from Earth was interesting; hell, even the things that she did _was_ from Earth was still interesting. He looked through the pages of words he couldn't make out.

"Cyborg wants to know if we are staying for dinner." He said as he tried to intensely scan the pages. "He's cooking."

"I guess, his cooking is better than my own. Why, did you have something else in mind?" She asked.

"Well, I told him we would stay, but he didn't believe that I was speaking for the both of us, and force me to come here to so call 'ask your permission' about what we are going to eat." He said, as he occasionally looked over the few pages that had drawings of a person meditating. It wasn't exactly a masterpiece, but hell, he'll take what little pictures the book had.

"Why does he want you to ask?" She asked, curious as to why Cyborg still thought that Rae had the official say-so in their relationship.

"Well, he said this is the first time…Lydia is napping in a different room…." He said, becoming nervous as he was talking, looking only at the book. "And so….he didn't know if we wanted to, using his words, 'celebrate'…why does every picture in this book have to be in black and white? I figured color was still around in Azarath." He said more towards himself then to Raven. She raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you getting worked up?" She asked, getting a little concern.

"Well, it was embarrassing for him to say that, and it feels humiliating to ask you a question like I'm a child." He said, still keeping his eyes on the book. She walked closer up to him, with him taking a step backwards.

"That's not why you're getting so nervous and upset. Something else is wrong, and you have blocked your thoughts with a song so I can't read your mind. What's wrong?" She asked, as she tried to put a hand on his shoulder. He pushed it away with his arm. "Garfield?" She asked, a little frighten that he was holding something back.

"So, Rae, what language is this book in? It doesn't look like anything from this world." He asked, ignoring her question, avoiding eye contact.

"Now you're really playing that song loud in your head. What's wrong?" She asked. "Garfield." She said sternly.

He slowly looked up to her, looking unintentionally at the curves her body made around her hips. He tried to look in her eyes, focusing only on them. Starfire walking around in a very revealing outfit didn't appeal to Garfield, but somehow, in Raven's leotard, that covered her entire body except her legs, was a bit _too_ much for him. Maybe it was the fact that he was the only one who knew what she looked like without her leotard on.

"Nothing." He said unconvincingly. He gave her the book back as he walked towards the door.

"You wouldn't be this upset about what Cyborg would say. I know that. Something is wrong, and the more you hide it and keep it to yourself, the stronger the problem will be as nobody can help you when you keep quiet." She said. He sighed and turned around.

"I'm just afraid." He said.

"About what?" She asked, walking closer to him. She tried again to put a hand on his shoulder, but he seemed to back off. "Garfield?"

"Just don't touch me, Rae." He said somberly. When he saw that this statement upset her, he instantly regretted it. "I mean….in your uniform at least."

"What's wrong with my uniform, I thought you liked me wearing it? I find it more comfortable to wear then a skirt or dress, or even pants." She asked in her monotone; she was confused.

"I _do_ like you wearing your uniform, that's the problem." He said. He couldn't keep his thoughts in his control any longer, and Raven could hear the faint secrets inside his mind. She widened her eyes when she heard the truth.

"You're afraid to get intimate with me?" She asked, wishing she had never read his thoughts in the first place.

"It's not that….it's just that…I'm afraid of—"

"Your beast." She said, finishing his thought. "Garfield that was an accident and it was my fault for unleashing it—"

"—No it wasn't—"

"—Yes it was, and furthermore…." She began, but then she heard something else in his mind. "Rage?" She said.

"Yes, Rae, Rage." He said sadly. He didn't want Rae to feel guilty, but the truth was just that, her emotions and his beast scared him, and it would make her feel guilty regardless of whose fault, which is why he wanted to hide his fear. "Rae, it's not your fault—"

"—But the simple truth is that it is." She said, as she looked over to Garfield's grave face. "But why now? I have always told you the danger of us becoming intimate. And you have always made an excuse for me. Why now, Garfield, why now?—"

"Well, what happened last time—"

"—Wouldn't that make us even then? I hurt you one time, that awful night when Lydia was conceived, and now you hurt me. I would think that it would make us equals that way—"

"—But that was different. I got over it—"

"—And I have gotten over your beast attacking me." She started to shout over, as their argument turned from a somber confession to a full out battle.

"Shh!" Garfield whispered to her as he could hear Lydia start moaning in her sleep.

"The only thing I feel is guilt from Rage unleashing your beast. That's all. But it's under control. I've learned my lesson, and I am meditating better." She whispered.

"But Rae, that was before my beast could be unleashed. Before I was fine fighting with your Rage, I had gotten used to it—"

"You shouldn't get used to it." Raven added quietly.

"Rae." He said sadly as he saw her eyes looking down, trying to escape this conversation. He took her hand, trying to get her attention. She looked up to him, prepared what he had to say. "I love you, you know that. It's just at the current moment, I am afraid. You of all people should know what I am going through, afraid of being intimate."

She nodded her head in agreement, as she had known that fear too, but it was Garfield that led her out of that fear, but where did _his_ fear come from all of a sudden? They had already broken all of the rules they had once known before, and even though there were some rough times, they had always managed to work through them.

"Maybe this fear will go away soon, maybe it won't. I don't know. It's just that…before, we were two people in love, and I would have followed you through the gates of Hell and back, just to be with you…..but now we're parents." Looking at Lydia. "And we have to be more careful what we do, otherwise there will be another orphan in the world and I don't want Lydia to experience what I had experience as a kid." He finished.

So, that's what it was, he was afraid of the consequences of what would happened if mommy and daddy played _too_ rough. At first Raven felt guilt or betrayed when she first heard his thoughts, but now she had to respect his feelings because it was something she hadn't thought of before. She was worried Lydia wasn't meditating properly, and that could disrupt the universe, but if both or either of her parents was killed, that would destroy her, and _then_ the universe would really be in trouble.

However, Garfield wasn't thinking of the consequences of her powers, but the consequences of her state of mind in general. His parents were very careful, even when they were in Africa, yet it was a boating accident, or a planned out murder as he suspected, that killed them. He couldn't do anything to stop it, but he could stop this dangerous routine that he and Rae would sometimes do.

"Oh, Garfield….how are you going to manage?" She asked sadly, gripping his hands. He gave her a small smile.

"Rae, I'll manage fine. I've waited years for you….to take it to the next level. This fear will not last that long. I just need some time to think it through. My fears are keeping me at bay." He said. "If anything, I am more worried about you."

"Me?" She asked, confused.

"Yes, your Lust." He said. Oh, right, _that_ thing. Dammit, why did he bring it up?

"I'll manage. I'll meditate." She said in her monotone, pretending it was a simple solution, even though it wasn't. "I'm sorry—"

"No, _I'm_ sorry. You were right. I should have been more cautious like you. Here you were trying to control your emotions, and I would try to play with your Lust just so _I_ could feel better. I'm sorry about that." He said, gently kissing her hand, but being careful not to let that go out of control.

"Well, I felt better afterward too." She said, trying to erase his guilt. As soon as he let go of her hand, she wrapped her cloak around her, putting her hood up and hiding her body, especially her legs. He looked down.

"I don't want to be the guy who tells his wife what to wear." He said.

"But you're not. I am covering up out of respect for you. Not all women who cover up do so because they are forced to, some are, but not all. Some do it to keep their beauty reserved for their husbands, because they want to. It's just the opposite this time, I'll cover up so you _don't_ get overexcited. This will give you time to work out your fear."

He took her by her arm, and escorted her to out into the hallway, trying his best not to have her legs rubbed up against him.

* * *

For a while, Raven thought that this 'fear' of his would go away in little while without so much as noticing that he even had a fear in the first place. After all, he had waited before, not very patiently at times, for years on end. It didn't really take someone like her to know exactly when Garfield got in the mood.

It was around two years into their relationship that Robin and Cyborg both noticed that Garfield was working out a lot more. A _lot_ more, to the point where it was noticeable from his appearance. His once skinny torso started to developed noticeable abs.

He went as far as to seek advice from his friends. Garfield asked, although embarrassingly, if Robin could show him some moves. And when Robin asked what he meant by 'moves', Garfield immediately dropped the subject altogether.

Garfield then asked Starfire what she liked most about Robin, to get a female's perspective, but that ended in a long winded answer about Starfire describing every single detail about Robin that she found.

Garfield finally asked Cyborg while they were in the garage, what he could do to have Raven show a little more affection to him. Cyborg starred at him with a blank expression.

"_To show a little more affection? Dude, you've already struck gold with her falling for your dumbass! Don't be an idiot and ask for more." Cyborg had said._

Raven knew, even at the time, he was trying to impress her, trying to turn her on, if he could. She _could_ get excited in front of him, at the right moment, but never get excited enough to where she would just throw down her cloak and jump in bed with him. Her own fear about her childhood kept her hormones at bay, if she even had any hormones at the time.

She thought that his recent fears were not as serious as her life-long fears that she had always had, and still had. However, she underestimated Garfield, because although he didn't want to wait all those years until he put a ring on her finger, he waited nonetheless.

But she couldn't.

DON'T YOU JUST HATE CLIFFHANGERS? I SURE DO.


	15. Extraterrestrial

OKAY, SO I TRY NOT TO NAME CHAPTERS OR STORIES AFTER A SONG (AT LEAST NOT _ANYMORE_), BECAUSE ONLY I WOULD GET IT'S REFERENCE ALONG WITH A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE, BUT THIS SONG WAS _LITERALLY_ STUCK IN MY HEAD WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER. I MAKE FUN OF POP MUSIC AS THE NEXT CYNICAL CRITIC, BUT EVEN I HAVE MY GUILTY PLEASURES.

IT'S IRONIC REALLY, AFTER MANY YEARS IN SCHOOL WITH THE MAINSTREAM MUSIC BEING BAD (AT LEAST TO ME), THERE IS NOW ACTUALLY GOOD MUSIC OUT THERE THAT IS MAKING THE CHARTS, BUT I CAN NO LONGER GO TO SCHOOL DANCES TO DANCE TO IT. AND I DON'T WANT TO GO TO NIGHTCLUBS. I GUESS IT'S BETTER LATE THEN NEVER, BUT STILL.

The first month wasn't a problem, as she had been meditating properly, keeping Lust out of her head. She focused all her remaining energy on Lydia, trying to get her to start meditating properly. Some parents would make sure their toddlers were potty trained by now, but Raven would rather have her not blow up the toilet first before using it.

Everything was fine the first month. The second month was a little harder for Raven to maintain her composure, but she was still able to keep it, nevertheless. Garfield would constantly inform her if he wasn't ready, or her clothes were too tight to look at for him. Their anniversary came and went, with them celebrating it with a quiet night of watching kid's television shows with Lydia. Lydia's fourth birthday came and went, with her becoming more aware that there was a whole city living downstairs from her all this time, and that people lived in the buildings. Lydia had figured that the city is where Mamma would work.

Raven didn't mind covering up at first. She would always try to hide her body from the world anyway, she just happened to put more clothes on this time. However, after a certain point, she got tired of wearing a long skirt, dress or pants. They lived in California and they could have a hot day anytime of the year. It wasn't exactly Hawaii, but the weather sometimes felt like if it Hawaii weather when it was the right time of day. And she didn't like to feel heat.

One hot day, she decided to wear her uniform, without pants to cover her legs. Her leotard was always more comfortable then wearing regular clothes, maybe because she was used to it after many years. Besides, she could hide her legs with her cloak around Garfield, it was no big deal.

But, as soon as she came back from that long day of fighting crime, she let her cloak to drag behind her, allowing her bare legs to be exposed to Garfield. She caught him looking at her in strange way, and noticed that she allowed her cloak to open in front of him. She quickly fixed it, but that strange look in his eye, like a curious and anxious teenager seeing a new game for the first time that they have been anticipating for many months, just made Rae smiled a bit.

* * *

That night, while Lydia was already in bed looking through Raven's copy of the _Grimm Fairy Tales_, they both started to change into their pajamas, getting dressed on opposite sides of the room. Raven was facing her drawer, and peaked over to Garfield, as she slipped on her nightgown, as he was taking off his shirt. It wasn't anything unusual, as he always preferred to not wear a shirt to bed, but she found it thrilling to watch.

_If _I _have cover up, why doesn't he? Doesn't he know Lust can be relentless?_ She thought to herself.

As Garfield was about to turn around to get into bed, she quickly went back to staring at her drawer, trying to hide her red face. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing, as her heart was becoming noticeably heavy in her chest.

_Calm down, just breathe._ She thought to herself. _Think of the ocean. The blue, endless ocean that seems to go on forever. Remember the gentle and violent waves that would rock back and forth, back and forth…..I wish _he_ would rock _me_ back and forth…dammit!_

All of her closed drawer doors suddenly opened up, flinging some of her clothes in the air. She quietly closed them and then walked to the center of the room, trying to hide her face.

"I'm going to meditate." She said calmly as she proceeded to get into her lotus position.

"This late? Okay." He said, as he glided into bed next to Lydia. "That just means more room for us then, huh?" He said to Lydia, as she pointed to the story in the book that she wanted to hear. "This one? Okay…."

His voice began to quietly disappear as Raven entered her own little world, in order to suppress her Lust. She wasn't going to complain though, that was her own problem. Garfield was patient, sometimes, and willing to wait for Raven to show even the slightest affection to him. He never pressured her, even though he sure did hint at it a lot. _She_ wasn't going to be the one to pressure him into doing something that she didn't want to do before.

She realized then that it was actually going to be tough for her, because Lust was hidden away before, but now she could feel it slowly coming out. Meditation _might_ help, but it was doubtful that she could keep something so powerful from leashing out. Just like with her Rage, it could build up inside of her, until something happens that would make her act out.

* * *

Another week passed by, as Raven tried to keep her cloak wrapped around her body at all times, but sometimes she purposefully let it loose in direct view of him. He wouldn't say anything, as she pretended it was accident when it happened. It wasn't long before she just allowed her cloak to follow behind her without her holding it, as she tried to passively show off her legs in front of Garfield, again acting like it was accident.

_Damn, he keeps looking the other way whenever I walk in a room because he just expects my legs to pop out. I need to control this feeling. I can't touch him…Can't touch his soft yet strong skin that is a mixture feeling of a blissful sensation…stop that! You're not a porn star. _She thought to herself.

Occasionally her powers could go off without anyone noticing anything, but they started to become noticeable at a certain point. Especially when it came to doors magically opening when nobody was near them. But she would tell the other's that it was nothing or she didn't have enough meditation; the usual lies. She didn't like to lie, but she couldn't tell anybody else her problems, that would just embarrass Garfield.

* * *

Another week went by, and she tried her best to keep her emotions in check and to keep Lust at bay, but she couldn't do that without trying to avoid Garfield altogether. Just like before where he tried to avoid looking at her legs, she tried to avoid running into him period. More furniture was damaged that week, and the Titans were becoming suspicious.

Realizing this was becoming silly, as she couldn't possibly keep making excuses to get away from him, and both Lydia and the others started to ask questions, she had decided she would get rid of his fears. She couldn't wait any longer. She could easily change his mood just by using her powers, but that wouldn't get rid of his fears, it would only mask it for a short while. And afterward, he probably would know what she did, and would become upset for her manipulating his emotions.

No, this required her human side. She was going to get laid this week, God dammit, if it was the last thing she would ever do. If she didn't, she might take out half the Tower just from fanaticized him. He knew her Lust was acting up, but he figured she had a handle on it, since he kept seeing her meditate. She didn't want him to feel guilty or to feel pressured into anything, even though it was the only way to control this feeling, so she didn't tell him how bad it was affecting her.

* * *

One night, after a long day of fighting crime, Raven came home to a relaxed Garfield sitting on the floor, watching Lydia entertain herself with her toys. He glanced towards Raven's direction very quickly to see that she was home, trying to avoid looking at her legs. He was wearing a black T-shirt with purple sweatpants. If any boy could pull off wearing purple, it was him. And since he was green, it complimented his skin. His T-shirt was baggy on him, but she felt like she could see his abs through the fabric. Her palms were starting to sweat, as her heart beat faster with each moment she was standing there. He turned around again to see why she was just standing there.

Her breathing became heavy, and she tried to not look at him, focusing on something like the couch that was in front of her.

"Rae, are you okay?" He asked in a concern voice. She looked into his eyes, and allowed her breathing to rise rapidly and fall slowly. "Rae?"

She unbuttoned her cloak, allowing it to drop to the floor, as she looked intently at the stereo sound system. She moved to the dials very slowly, allowing her legs to look graceful while walking. He noticed her legs, and wanted to look away, as he was starting to blush, but he wanted to know what she was doing. She gracefully turned on the stereo, finding the song that she knew would make him quiver.

"Oh, yeah, I'll tell you something,

I think you'll understand.

When I, say that something,

I want to hold your hand…"

She merely just stood there by the stereo and swayed her head slowly back and forth. She waited for a while for Garfield to walk over to her, and start dancing with her, but he didn't walk over. She waited for a minute. And then another minute. And then another minute, until the song started over again. She turned around, and saw that the room was empty, with Lydia's toys scattering the floor.

Confused as to where Garfield and Lydia had gone, she turned off the music to look around the Tower and find them. But then she felt a presence in the room. She turned the music back on, before slowly turning around to see her green companion standing in the doorway. Her heart beat faster, while the music started into its slow tempo, she walked up to him. He didn't say anything, but just stared at her walking gracefully up to him.

When she got up to him, she put her hand out, hoping he would take it. He nervously looked into her eyes, not exactly sure what to do at this point. At first, his plan was to just walk away, but then it changed into putting Lydia in her room and him walking back to see what she was going to do. He didn't plan on doing anything; he merely wanted to watch what she was doing with those legs of hers.

She used her powers to lower the lights and light any candles that were in the room, still putting her hand out while she did so.

"Rae, I-I'm afraid." He simply said, while she kept staring into his eyes.

"I know, but that if we don't, that week in the hospital _will_ happen again and soon, because while Rage might be dangerous, Lust can do just as much damage." She said in her monotone. He looked down at her hand unsure of himself. "I don't want to pressure you, because that is not fair when you have waited ages for me before. But if the only thing that is keeping you away from me is the fear that my Rage might come out or your beast, then I'm going to have to put my foot down, because this exercise will help keep at least _one_ of my emotions. And that will keep Rage away."

"What about my beast?"

"I've said it before, you can control it." She said.

He looked down, not knowing what to do other than to stare at his feet. Even when the song went back to the beginning, he still didn't budge.

"Garfield?" She said, trying to get his attention. "Beast Boy?" She stated more confidently, making him look up to her. "Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal; knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man. You stopped me from hurting you or myself, which is what my Rage is capable of. She might have told you she was going harm herself, just so she could harm me. It's not the first time she has done that, but you stopped her."

"But I harmed you in the process." He said. "Doesn't that defeat the noble purpose?"

"I never said your beast was smart. You got angry and let her have it; it was a natural instinct, it was just unfortunate that she was in my body at the time. But now you have a chance to control an emotion, before it gets out of hand." She raised her hand up higher to him. "Beast Boy, please." She begged. "I can't keep this emotion in me anymore; I-I need your help."

He looked into her helpless eyes, debating himself whether this was the right thing to do. Sometimes he didn't even know what he was so scared of; they had more problems with Rage outside of the bed than in. What was he really scared of? His beast. That was it; that _had_ to be it. Or was it? No, it was something more, something even _he_ didn't understand until he had all this time to think about it.

"There's something else." He said, coming to the realization what he really was afraid of. "I have realized that none of this stuff: your Rage, my beast, your dilemma with keeping Lydia, our heated arguments with Robin and sometimes the rest of the team…none of this stuff would have happened if I didn't pressure you to be close with me."

She lowered her hand down, and kept it to her side as she listened, not exactly sure what to say. He didn't think about all this until now, making him the one to be able to break the news to her before she could even listen to his thoughts.

"I-I took away your innocence, Rae, just because I wanted to _know_ you in a way nobody else could have known you. Yes, I love Lydia with all my heart, but if you had never gotten pregnant, our lives would have been easier. I don't regret Lydia; I just think you do sometimes. And when I said you wouldn't regret her, a promise I made to you, I wasn't thinking clearly of the consequences that would have happened; that _have_ been happening." He said. "All those times I taunted your Lust when I was in the mood, I now regret, because you try so hard with your meditation to keep them locked up, and I should never have opened Pandora's Box."

She stood there quietly, surprised to what she was hearing. Here she thought she had all the answers and she knew all the questions he had, but she was wrong. Had he pressured _her_? She didn't think so, even though he did talk her through her own fears, but that wasn't being pressured. Was it?

He always seemed to be sorry for any misfortunes that happened to them, but those situations were never really his fault. Was this really his fault, or was he just sorry and thought it was his fault?

Pandora's Box? Well, she was impressed that he knew what the phrase meant and used it in the right context, but was it appropriate? Was her virginity the Box? And her Lust the evils coming out of the Box into the world? She didn't know how to handle that comment. Frankly, she didn't know how to handle anything that he said. He turned around to hide his face from her.

"If I loved you enough as I had been saying back then, I would have understood about the situation and left it alone." He said in a low voice. "Hell, I mean you didn't even _really_ want to get married, because you didn't believe in that kind of thing. But I did, and you just did it to please me." Okay, now that comment just pissed her off.

"The idea of being intimidate may have frighten me, but I did not marry you _just_ to only please you and make a 'sacrifice' for myself." She said in her monotone.

Her mind was starting to work again and form ideas in her head, as she was coming back to reality from the frozen state that she was in before. Now she figured he was starting to sound pathetic, with him thinking that _he_ could dominate _her_ and pressure _her_, as if she had never made any kind of decisions for the both of them before. That he never made _any_ sacrifice for her. They had already talked about their dominance in the relationship before, but it seemed as though he forgot about that conversation.

She tightened her fist and walked up behind him in an angry manner.

"I didn't marry you because I felt forced too; I married you because I love you, you stupid bastard." She said angrily, trying to stop her tears coming out before they would start. He turned around.

She lifted up her left hand, showing off her small silver band with a small blue sapphire stone in the middle. The ring alone cost less than fifty dollars, and so she knew it wasn't a real sapphire, just a blue rock, but she wasn't one to obsess over whether a ring should be big or expensive. The Titans didn't exactly have a thriving income to begin with. It was just a piece of jewelry to her, to show off to the world that they were taken. It had a function; to tell boys not to try and impress her, even if they got past her strange skin color, because she was taken. She didn't care if the ring wasn't big because frankly she was mesmerized by the color rather than the size.

She allowed herself to calm down, looking at the ring herself, before propping it in Garfield's face again.

"I didn't take this ring because I had succumbed to your demands and wanted to _keep_ you happy. I had told you numerous times I rejected the idea of marriage. I took this ring because…" She soften her face, as it wasn't exactly easy to express her deep emotions. "Because…..even _I_ had finally realized that there isn't anybody else like you in the world who will make me feel the way I do when I am with you—and no, I wasn't quoting _High School Musical_, before you ask—I just phrased the words like that by accident." She said, realizing she had been watching too many of Garfield's romance movies with him.

She was mad that they were even having this conversation, even though they had already talked all this out before. And again. And a third time. Maybe the third time _wasn't_ the charm. Here was hoping for the _fourth_.

He could just see that she was mad, trying to hide it on the outside. He thought that she was probably mad because he had rejected her and her inner Lust was tired of excuses, but that didn't stop him from noticing her legs, looking down at them. She noticed this, glaring at him and her inner Lust took over. She felt compelled to use her left hand to gently brush up against his cheek, and pressing on it as she couldn't resist the touch of his rosy cheeks. He didn't know what to say other than to allow her massage his skin. The mixture of her cold ring and warm skin excited him as she did so. He looked into her eyes, which no longer wanted to lecture or argue with him.

It just wanted to fuck him.

As animalistic as that sounded, it was true. She was right, Lust _was_ getting pretty impatient, and she was showing it. Not letting herself hold back, she slowly walked up to him, allowing her hips to jive back and forth. It was if Raven had left the room, and this sensual version of her was here. As she hypnotized him with her eyes, she quickly grabbed Garfield by the collar and pressed him up against the door, kissing his cheek and anything near his lips without actually kissing his lips yet. While Garfield was technically trapped literally in a corner, he didn't object to the abuse he was being given. His eyes kept rolling back inside his head as he had realized how much he missed her soft and yet violent touch.

After a minute or so past by, with him allowing her to maul him with her lips, she suddenly stopped and stood up. Her eyes widen as she slowly touched her lips in disgust and backed up away from him. Garfield, in his calm state of mind, just watched her back away, not saying a word.

"I-I'm sorry." She said, trying to wipe the drool marks off her lips, trying to erase the evidence that such an act ever happened. She tried to talk in her monotone, but her smooth rhythmic voice was failing her. "I-I forgot for a second where I was. And why we were even having this conver-conversation. I shouldn't have done that. Not when you're trying so hard yourself to get—"

"—Rae?" He said calmingly, interrupting what he figured would have been a long ramble about how she was sorry and how her emotions were just sometimes _too_ hard to control. He walked up to her, almost in a layback way as he was kind of relaxed. He was inches away from her face, wrapping his hands around her curvy hips. "_I'm_ the stupid bastard here."

After that he locked his lips with her, giving her mouth a break after it had its own workout. She didn't react. She wasn't hesitant, but she didn't fully embrace him as he did so before with her.

"But what about your fears? Shouldn't we talk about that first?" She asked in a worried voice, as soon as he broke off.

He looked at her like this was all of sudden a foreign subject to him. He merely just smiled and kissed her again. Her Lust started to break through, and she wrapped her arms around him, with her breathing becoming faster as she did so. They broke off again, with her a little calmer, but her own reasonable side was still there.

"Garfield, we just fought, and now just because I made some passes at you doesn't mean the issue of your fears has been resolved. I really think we should—"

"—Raven?" He interrupted.

"Yes?" She asked, not exactly sure what he was going to say.

"Shut up." He said. "Just shut up, because I am speaking Lust's language right now."

That _should_ have made her angry, as he not only was trying to silence her, but he proclaimed that Lust was a person all on her own and he was only talking to that Raven, not Raven _herself_. But in the end, she just looked at him as if he had quoted Shakespeare, and started locking lips with him again. Dammit, she wanted this, and _now_ she was talking herself out of it? Occasionally she felt stupid, and this was one of those times. Garfield just reminded her that this is what she wanted after all, in his own way of saying so, and whether or not his fears were actually resolved, he didn't care at the moment. He just wanted _her_.

He picked her up by cradling her with his arms, and proceeded to lay her on the couch. When he started to get closer, she stopped him.

"Not here. The team could come in at any moment. You know how Robin can't sleep sometimes and watched television. It's too risky." She said.

"Okay, then our room." He said, kissing her neck and expecting to be transported there by Raven.

"No, what about Lydia? Cyborg can't babysit her _now_, he's sleeping. She might walk in or if she doesn't, she'll wonder why we're locking the door and throw a temper tantrum in the hallway." She said.

"Well, where can we go? Did you not think this far ahead when you planned on seducing me?" He asked, which was a very good question indeed. One of the rare times he asked a question that impressed her.

"Well, anywhere in the Tower is really a risky place, because _anybody_ could decide to get up and walk in that room. Robin and Starfire could still be up for all I know." She said, thinking about what to do next.

"Why don't we just ask them to babysit Lydia?"

"I just want a room at the moment. I don't want to interact with people right now." She said, pressing her lips against his neck, trying to prove that her Lust was on fire, and it wasn't going to go away.

"The infirmary?"

"So, we have moved from a comfortable couch and a big bed with stuff animals and books to a tiny room full of expensive equipment I could break with my powers and a bumpy bed that has bars on each side. Yeah, that sounds like the ideal place." Her sarcasm didn't stop just because she was feeling sensual at the moment.

"Do you have a better idea?" He asked, kind of irritated that Raven didn't have a set plan from the start. She stared into his eyes for a moment, hoping her brain wouldn't just stop working just because she was thinking with her body at the moment.

"The roof." She said, as she gave him a small playful smile, before she pressed her lips back onto his neck and was moving down to his chest. His eyes began to roll back inside his head, as his own animal instinct to engage was starting to kick in. Part of it was human; part of it wasn't.

"You're a genius. The roof then." He said, as she transported both of them to the top of the roof, bringing along two sets of blankets the couch cushions that they were lying on.

It had been a hot day, and so the air wasn't cold that night. She continued to kiss his chest, until she had enough of his stupid T-shirt getting in the way, and she ripped it off with her bare hands, along with the help of her powers too. He actually liked that shirt, and would be a little irritated that she had ruined it, had not she immediately after started kissing his abs. He didn't like that shirt _that_ much .

"Wait, don't we need?..." He asked before he let her continued.

"Now, _that_ I did think of." She said, as she magically pulled a condom pact out of thin air, transporting it from their room into her hand. She handed it to him. "I _still_ can think reasonably even in a situation like this."

While he ripped the packet with his teeth, making sure not to damage the rubbers, she stripped off his pants for him, throwing it to the side. While he was getting himself ready, she started to peel off her leotard. When she realized how much colder it became then it originally was, she moved slower in getting it off, as she shivered. After a moment or two trying to get her leotard off without shivering, she looked up at the half-crest moon, not sure what to do next. After a while she felt a warm hand gently rubbing her shoulders, before he started to peel off the leotard for her.

"It-it's kind of cold. We need to-to keep warm." He said, smiling. She looked down at his body trying to fight against the cold environment.

"You're always warm." She said.

She gently rubbed his abs before she kissed his lips, and then breathed heavily as he slid down her leotard to her legs, exposing her body in the moonlight. She lifted her legs up so he could take it off; she laid there on that couch cushion, striking a pose as she was waiting for him. He could barely see her, as the lighting on the Tower was not that bright, and it wasn't even a full moon out to give them more lighting. Her pale complexion, however, made it possible to see her, as it contrasted the darkness. His bright lime green skin also made it easier for her to see him as well. Garfield wrapped one of the blankets around his body, before he hovered himself above Raven and allowed to hang off his back.

They were no longer cold, and his warm chest hovering above her allowed her Lust to take over again. Remembering how long it had been, she traced her hands around his arms as she lifted her body up to kiss his lips, making her way down to his cheeks, neck, shoulder, arm and finally grabbing his hand to press it against her face. The warmth made her breathe harder, as he started slowly descended down to her.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos….." She whispered his ear as his head rested on her shoulder.

He was trying to find a rhythm to get started as he had been avoiding such an encounter for a long time. Realizing that he was having trouble getting started, even in her violent state of mind, she grabbed his hand, and gently squeeze it, sending a message that it was okay to be frighten, and that while even though she was trying to get herself in a trance, she was there for him. She closed her eyes, continuing her chant without saying a word, occasionally coming up to his cheek or lips with hers. He grabbed her other hand and started to gain momentum from his movement.

Feeling his presence now more than before, she started to copy his movements and pushed up closer towards him whenever he backed away from her. Clearing her mind of her day from earlier, especially their argument, she tried to channel all her energy into this one act with him. Although, that didn't stop her powers from being release within the area, even though there was nothing else on the Tower, besides them and the objects they brought. Only them and the midnight sky with the half-crest mooning smiling down upon them with light. The small rocks, from the gravel of the roof, started to lift up into the air, covered in black energy, and slowly formed a circle around them. The rocks bounced back and forth as their own exercise was beginning to create heat around them.

She began to grip tighter on his hands, as he began to thrust harder and faster. Even though she was still chanting her mantra, and tried to keep her eyes closed, she would occasionally open them. From her position, she had a clear view of the moon, thinking for a second it was a smile from the sky that was on its side.

She was taught everything about Earth and its universe, when she was young, even though she lived in a different world altogether. Azarath had a small moon around its orbit, something she could barely see, so when she came to Earth, she was astonished by the more visible and brighter moon that Earth had. The stars in the sky were a lot clearer to see from here than in the city.

Being the multitasker that he was, he made sure he would steal a kiss from her body, whether it was her lips, face, chest, or shoulder, and still made sure he had a good rhythm going on with her.

"AZ-a-RATH, men-TRION, zinthos….."

It wasn't that long before they were not only warm, but their bodies started to become doused with sweat. Gripping his hand tighter and tighter as he kept his steady pace, she began to lift herself up. The gravel above them spun faster furiously around them. Being closer to his lips, she tried to steal a kiss or two from him, between her mantra.

Letting go of his hands, she then held onto his neck, pulling on his damp hair every time he came back to her when moving. Her head rose up to the sky, calling out to that unknown source she always called out to at a moment like this. Her mouth becoming dry and her hair beginning to frizz up, she pulled his hair tighter as they were both still moving.

At the current moment, he was questioning himself as to what he was thinking when he was afraid. It made her happy and it _certainly_ made him happy alright.

"Az-A-rath…..MEN-trion…..zinthos…" She whispered in his ear, almost ripping his hair off his scalp. He didn't care about the pain, maybe in the morning his head would hurt, but at the current moment, he didn't mind it.

He wrapped his hands around her hip, as her voice was fading in and out.

"Don't stop chanting…..don't stop…." He whispered in her ear as they both kept moving. Her head was bobbing back and forth.

As they were getting closer to the climax, her words were becoming weaker to hear and harder to say. Garfield took one of his hands and grabbed onto one of her hands that was clutching on his scalp, kissing her fingers as he kept on moving. He was trying to remind her to concentrate as her words were slowly fading away.

"Azarath…mentrion…..zinthos….say it with me…." He said, keeping a grip on her one hand.

"Kiss me….ki-ki-kiss me…" She quietly commanded him. He kissed her fingers again as he was gaining more momentum. "Azara-TH…..ME-…..-trion…..zinthos….."

"Ra-VEN….please…..keep CON-centrating…" He said. She started to say her mantra louder into his ear. She would then occasionally kiss his neck as she felt the climax coming closer. "Your…..kiss…is cosmic….." She kept on repeating her mantra louder in his ear, each time kissing his earlobes or neck after doing so.

"AZ-arath….men-TRION…..ZINTHOS!"

The gravel floating above them collided together before it exploded into smaller pieces and rain down upon them. It was far from sexy as they were both sweating and the gravel stuck to their skin when it fell down on them. Raven held onto him as she fell back down on the cushions. She released her grip on his hair, while he lay down next to her.

They were both breathing hard, and oddly, in unison as they did so. He put his arm around her after a few minutes passed by. He opened up his eyes to see the half-crest moon, smiling to himself. Looking up to the universe above them, he thought that maybe Rae wanted to go on the roof all this time, and pretended that the other rooms were occupied just to score the sweet view above them.

_That's so Raven, oh…wait…not the Disney show….oh I watch too much T.V., _he thought to himself.

"Yes….you do…" She said, as she was catching her breath. She just couldn't help, but listen to his thoughts. She opened her eyes and looked into his green ones. "No, I didn't do that on purpose…that was just poor planning…..on my part….but it is beautiful…." Looking up to the sky. He looked back to her.

"_You're_ beautiful." He said, trying to be the lovable romantic he always strove to be.

"Shut up." She said jokingly, as she felt it was alright to show a little affection after she had personally meditated with him. "I'm going to get diabetes…from all the sugary junk….you say." She wrapped her arms around Garfield before she drift into a deep sleep with the moon's light beaming down on her skin.

He himself didn't fall asleep for quite some time. He spent those silent moments to himself gazing up at the sky or looking down next to him. He didn't know which grabbed his attention more. He listened to the gentle breeze, cooling them both off for the night.

"Could you be the devil? Could you be an angel?" He asked himself quietly, looking down at her. "Either way, I don't give a damn."

He wondered if the team would find them there in the morning if they didn't get up in time, but then he went to sleep and didn't think about it anymore.

If they did find them in the morning, he hoped they enjoyed the view.

SUMMER IS UPON US, AND I ONLY HAVE ONE CLASS TO TAKE OVER THE SEASON, SO THAT MEANS MORE TIME ON MY COMPUTER. OR LESS, POSSIBLY. BUT DON'T DESPAIR; ENDING THIS STORY IS FAR FROM MY MIND, I LIKE HOW IT'S GOING. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ABANDON A STORY JUST WHEN IT'S GETTING GOOD, OR WON'T EVEN ATTEMPT TO FINISH IT. AT LEAST WITH A SHOW BEING CANCELLED, THEY LET YOU KNOW IT'S BEING CANCELLED.

WELL ANYWAY, THAT'S JUST ME RANTING BECAUSE I _HATE_ UNFINISHED STORIES ON THIS SITE. AND SOMETIMES THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU START READING A STORY, AND THEN PEOPLE JUST STOP UPDATING, AND IT'S LIKE….IT'S A HEADACHE.

YEAH, I KNOW I WAS NAUGHTY AND ADDED SOME LYRICS, BUT THAT SONG WAS JUST LODGED IN MY HEAD WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS. IT WAS AS IF MS. PERRY KNEW I NEEDED A SONG TO MOTIVATE ME MORE. ANYWAY, SEE YA SOON.


	16. Forced Confessions

WOW, I JUST NEED TO RANT A LITTLE. SO, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR, JUST READ ON PAST THIS PART.

OKAY, SO THE END OF THE WORLD CAME AND WENT BY. (FACEPALM) I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD JUST LIVE GOOD LIVES, AS THEY CLAIM THEY DO, INSTEAD OF WORRY ABOUT LITTLE SHIT LIKE THIS. "BUT I WAS WARNING PEOPLE—" NO, NO YOU WEREN'T. PEOPLE HAD ALREADY FIGURED OUT WHICH SIDE THEY WERE ON BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO DRIVE A BUS WITH THE LOGO 'THE END OF THE WORLD' ON IT. YOU JUST LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT TO DO SO. IF YOU BELIEVE IT, FINE, BUT DON'T TELL YOUR CHILDREN. YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR CHILDREN, WHICH CAN DAMAGED THEM PSYCHOLOGY, MORE THEN YOU THINK. AND THEN YOU EXPECT TO CLAIM THAT YOU'RE GOOD AND WILL BE THE 'CHOSEN ONES' WHEN YOU'RE DOING THAT KIND OF SHIT. NO, NO, NO. IN MY BOOK, YOU WERE BEING SELFISH TO WANTING TO GET INTO HEAVEN WITHOUT ACTUALLY FOLLOWING A CERTAIN SET OF RULES TO GUIDE YOU. YOU SHOULD _WANT_ TO HELP PEOPLE AND ACCEPT THEM, BUT I THINK SOMETIMES PEOPLE ONLY DO GOOD DEEDS BECAUSE THEY JUST WANT TO GET INTO HEAVEN AND NOTHING ELSE, WHEN EVEN THE THEORY OF HEAVEN IS UNEXPLAINED. OH YEAH, AND I AM A CONVERTED JEW.

ANYWAY, NOW THAT I GOT THAT OUT MY SYSTEM, ENJOY.

In the morning, as the sun was hitting their skin, Raven was the first to wake up, with her grimy hair in her face. She pulled herself up and looked over to her green companion, smiling. She looked over back at the rising sun, and figured it was seven in the morning. They probably had another hour or so before someone came up to play volleyball or some other sport. Realizing that probably everybody was already downstairs having breakfast, she tried to wake up him up.

"Garfield?...Garfield?...Garfield?" She said softly, in a soothing voice. "Garfield!" She said loudly when he didn't respond to the first three calls. He turned over to the side facing her. He slowly opened up his eyes as he remembered why he was on the roof.

"Morning, my sweet lover." He said softly, as he played with her dirty hair, yawning in his after a few moments.

"You know I hate cutesy nicknames." She said in her monotone.

"But that's not fair; you can call _me_ Garfield _and_ Beast Boy. I don't have another name to call you." He said in his hazy state of mind, not really reacting to the side effects of when you first wake up. It's was like he took some kind of drug, and whatever it was, he wanted to be on it all the time.

"You call me 'Rae', that's enough nicknames for me." She said, trying to restrained her smile. She went back to staring at the sun. Garfield noticed the blanket revealing her bare back. He reached out and massage what little parts of her back he could.

"You're right; 'Rae' is enough. You don't need a nickname." He said, as he caressed her shoulder. "But that won't stop me from using adjectives in front of 'Rae'."

"Do you even know an adjective is?" She asked without looking back, doubting his literary terms.

"Yeah, I'm not that stupid. It's a word conveying a certain type of action." He said. She turned around and stared at him for quite some time before raising an eyebrow. "I was joking. I watch _Schoolhouse Rock_ with Lydia, remember? My Ravishing Rae."

"Hmm. We have to get dress; the other's will be here any moment." She said, trying to ignore his nickname comment. He grabbed her waist and dragged her back down, keeping his hands wrapped around her.

"What's the rush? We have the best seats in the Tower for this beautiful morning." He whispered in her ear. She wanted to argue back, but instead she just allowed him to embrace her while they both watched the orange hue in the sky. That is until…

"_(Laughing)_ Robin, why do you always like to go up on the roof?" A bubbly voice cried out.

"Because there's more privacy up here than in the Tower." A skimpy yet brawny voice said back.

Both Raven and Garfield widened their eyes and their cheeks blushed up. Without saying a word, Raven transported both of them, including the cushions and blankets to their room. Once they both realized they were back in their own room, Garfield sighed with relief.

"Okay, next time, _don't_ listen to me." He said, as she got up from their little sin bed to start changing into her uniform. She didn't look back at him.

"I need to meditate." She merely said, before slipping on her leotard. "Lydia will get up in about two hours." Garfield didn't move from his spot.

"Can I watch?" He asked. She turned around with her usual expression on her face.

"You always do." She said softly, before cracking a small smile.

"Why was I afraid again? These bare legs can melt any man." He said, reaching out to grab one of her legs as they were only a few feet away from him. She smacked his hand with her black energy. "Hey!" He said as he cradled his hand from the pain.

"We _both_ had our lust fulfilled last night. Settle down, solider." She said, before getting into her lotus position. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…."

He smiled and watched her levitate above the floor, with him resting his head on his arm. After a while he noticed the back of his head was throbbing with pain.

"Why does my head hurt?" He asked himself, rubbing it.

* * *

A week went by and Raven was feeling normal again. There were, of course, questions about why all the candles had been lit up in the living room, where the couch cushions were, and why did Raven leave her cloak in the living room that night? Of course, anyone smart enough to connect the dots didn't dare ask any more questions. They figured the strange arrangement happening in the living room had to do with Lydia, due to the fact they were afraid of her walking in on them in the middle of their activity. So, they just found a better place, which happened to involve the couch cushions.

They had bought new ones since then without any investigation about what happened to the old ones.

Cyborg was back together with Bumblebee…..again. Robin and Starfire were being all mushy and whatnot. They were kind of getting annoying to the other's because it seemed like every single Goddamn day was a 'glorious' day. They must have been having many 'glorious' nights as well, as Cyborg noted. Garfield tuned out when Cyborg spoke of such things in front of Rae. But Rae knew he was thinking the same thing Cyborg was thinking.

Lydia was getting more comfortable around Raven, although she still preferred her father's company more than anything else. She got used to meditating, but she still hated it with all her might. But of course she couldn't _really_ hate it, or express her hatred. No, no, that would make mother mad, and she shouldn't dare have mother be mad.

However, she couldn't fully _enjoy_ her time with her father even if she wanted to. No, no, that too would make mother mad, and she shouldn't dare have mother be mad.

* * *

One day Garfield took Lydia out to the city, so she could finally find out what the world below her was living like, and where exactly mommy worked. He wore a simple purple T-shirt that read 'got soy milk?', specially picked out by Raven for him on one of his birthday's, and some loose jeans, with dark sunglasses to avoid making eye contact with the public. Garfield had put Lydia in jeans, as she liked the idea of running and it was sometimes hard to do in dresses, and also wore a bright pink T-shirt with pictures of blossoms on the front. She was wearing her usual ponytail with a pink bow tied around it. He wanted her to stick out in a crowd in case he would lose her. But he forgot that by doing so, he would receive attention from the public.

He took her to the many sites that he hung out as a teenager, and the few beautiful views he could find when the sun was hitting the sky in just the right angle. The Jump City Park, the Jump City Art Museum, and the few places that he hung out with Mama when they were 'not-dating' dating at the time.

Lydia found that nobody in the city looked remotely like her. Everybody had a skin tone known as 'peach' or 'brown' to her, and their colors range from a pale color like herself, to an orangey tan, to the same color as Uncle Cyborg or darker. Nobody looked like Mama or Daddy, and she felt out of place because nobody had the same hair color as her as well.

Well, sure, when they went into a particular store, there would be people with all the colors of the rainbow on their head and then some, but she could tell they were not simply born with that hair; they had manually put that color in. She knew that she was different just by the looks people were giving her and occasionally a series of white lights would flash in her face. After a certain amount of attention they would receive from people, Garfield would walk out of the store and go as far away as possible, but she didn't know why. She liked the attention, as she had never met anybody else besides her close family and their hero friends.

A few of the shops were a nice remote store filled with antique memories of the sixties and seventies, shops that her father wanted her to feel comfortable in because they weren't as popular as the new stores filled with clothes and props for the present time. Popularity meant a lot of people, and lot of people meant too much attention for them, and that could have meant her emotions being tested.

No, no, a nice quiet shop, filled with nostalgic memories that he had never known because he wasn't alive yet, was just perfect. Until she wanted to go to the toy store that she heard so much about, then the afternoon became a problem. It was going to be one of the last stop, and maybe, just _maybe_, if she was a good girl, she would get a toy of her choosing.

They entered the giant toy store, with Garfield holding her hand tight, preparing to turn into a giant animal and running away if he wanted to make an escape. She dragged him as she ran into the store, her eyes amazed by how much toys there were in the world. Crap, now she would know what to ask for her birthdays and expect it.

"Lydia, please stay with me. I'm not letting go of you. This is a big store and you could get lost in it easily." He said to her as she was about to run off on her own, trying to let go of her father's hand. He kept his sunglasses on, but removed them occasionally to look her in the eyes. He kneeled down before her. "Do you see all the attention we have received? Someone could snatch you up if you're not careful. Pick one toy, and _only_ one. And if you try to run away from me again, we won't get a toy today." He said sternly to her. She somberly looked at him.

"I'm sorry." She said. He tried to erase the sharp look he gave her in his eyes, softening his face.

"Its okay, Little Lydia, it's just that us Titans are very popular among these people. And they know who you are. And they'll try to use this opportunity to harm you, or praise you, if they could." He said, trying to find the right words to say to a four-year old, but not to scare her at the same time. "Hold my hand, and if those 'scary' people start hurting your eyes again with their cameras, tell me, and I'll stop them."

"Okay." She said, smiling and looking down. She yawned after he stood up.

"Tired?" He asked.

"No." She said confidently, trying to get out of a nap for the day so she could hang out longer in the city.

"Right." He said unconvinced.

She dragged him to the Barbie section, hoping to undermine her parents 'no Barbie' rule. He allowed her to take him wherever she wanted to go nevertheless, even if it was a toy he and Rae had agreed never to get. They didn't personally have anything against Barbie; it was just a can of worms that they rather not opened until she was older.

"Lydia, you know the rule about Barbie's." He said. "They're expensive and aren't really fun unless you have many of them. You can't have one until you're six." Well, that wasn't the only reason, it also reminded both of them of Terra, but they left that part out for Lydia. So, maybe it was _kind of_ personal.

"But I just want to look at them." She said, still dragging him through the less interesting sections that had game boards, and going straight to the pink wall area that was the universal toy sign for Barbie.

"You're not playing that game, because as soon as you look, you'll want one." He said, trying to stop her from going any further. She stopped walking, and looked up at him. He kneeled down to her. "Wouldn't you want a musical instrument that I showed in my books? Or a doll? Not a Barbie doll, but a stuffed doll? Hmm?"

She was thinking while looking around. It was an awfully big store, and she could have _only_ one toy? That was torturous for a child just coming to the big city for the first time. _Only_ one toy? Why not wave a whole cake in her face and tell her she could _only_ lick the frosting on the top?

Just as she was thinking, a series of flashes blinded her eyes, making her rubbed them. Garfield saw the flashes and stood up to locate the source. He saw that there was a gathering of paparazzis walking into the store.

"Hey, can you guys chill it with the cameras? You already know what she looks like, isn't that enough?" He told the crowd gathering up to him.

They ignored his request. He thought about doing something violent to make them go away, but he realized that would only make a story to sell on newsstands, and his parenting skills would be questioned. The story would embarrass the Titans, and have the citizens questioned why their tax dollars were going towards these superheroes who don't even know how to take care of their kid. So, for now, he allowed them to follow them, only until it would physically harm Lydia. Occasionally when the crowd asked Lydia to smile, she did so, and then she stopped, trying to obey her mother's rules about showing too much emotion.

"Just ignored them." He said, as they walked along the Disney section. "So, what toy do you want?"

"Daddy, why do people like to take pictures of the Titans?" She asked.

"Because we are superhero's. Well, _they_ are superhero's, I used to be on the team, but not anymore. They protect the city from danger. I told you this." He said, looking through all the Disney Princess merchandise, but Lydia didn't seem interested in it.

"So, we're famous?" She asked. He looked down at her and smiled.

"In a way. Why do you think we live in a giant Tower? But don't let that go to your head, because we're not rich. Only one toy." He said.

"I want a African doll." She said.

"An African?" He asked, not exactly sure what she was talking about, hoping that it wasn't anything that would upset Cyborg.

"Africa." She said. "I wanna see what the natives you say in your stories looked like. Maybe a warrior one."

"Ohhhh." He said with relief.

He didn't know exactly where to go, but he walked over to the 'world' section, where toys representing different countries or different historical events were in. They walked through many stuffed animals and weird toys that tourist would just love to take home and show their families and talk about the weird products that some countries would release. He finally found a small African section that consisted of maps, musical instruments made of cheap material, and stuffed animals.

He could only find a small African Native man made of cheap brown cotton, who had war paint on his face and was holding a spear in one hand. He didn't have any clothes on; except for the leather hive covering his hips, and a leather belt. He was only eight inches tall. And the best part was that it _wasn't_ the most racist doll he had ever seen in his life, and he had seen some nasty depictions of African Natives. The nose was a reasonable size compared to the mouth, cheeks, neck and his short hair.

"How about this one?" He asked, handing her the doll. "That as close to what the Natives looked like while I was in Africa."

She grabbed it and examined it thoroughly to see if it would meet up with her standards.

"If you don't want it, we can look at some stuffed animals. But that's the closet thing they have to what I tell you in my stories." He said. She looked up him, smiled, and hugged it.

"I love it, Daddy. Now my stuffed an-i-mals have an owner." She said. The soft moment was ruined by a flash of lights that caused her to close her eyes and rubbed them. Garfield picked her up and hid her face from the cameras, putting his sunglasses on as he was prepared to go through the checkout line.

"No, no, no, no." A store employee called out to the crowd. "Anybody in here with a camera, get out! This is private property, not a night club!"

* * *

After a while walking around the city to find a quaint little shop to go in to escape the crowd as there seemed to be paparazzis everywhere, Garfield finally found an old quaint shop that sold candles and homemade candy. Obviously, it wasn't targeted towards Garfield, but they had already been to the 'manly' stores. He decided to stay there for a bit to wait for all the paparazzis to go away. He already had lost them in the crowd, but they were still on the streets, trying to search for him.

"What's your name, little one?" The owners twenty-three year old daughter asked Lydia, who was standing behind the register.

"Tamera! Leave them alone! There only here to get away from the paparazzis outside." Her mother shouted from the break room.

"It's alright." Garfield said to the twenty-three year old. He looked down at Lydia. "Tell her your name."

"My name is Lydia." Lydia said. "Do you know my Mama? She protects you."

"Lydia! Don't be rude." Garfield said, afraid that she was becoming snooty.

"That's alright." The girl said. She looked down to Lydia. "Yes, I know who your mother is and your father."

All of a sudden, there was the faintest sound of an explosion and the ground shook a little.

"Was that an Earthquake?" Lydia asked, holding onto him.

"How far is a bank from here?" Garfield asked the girl.

"Three blocks up North." She said, ducking for cover. "This happens about twice a month."

"No, Lydia, this isn't an Earthquake. A robbery is taking place." He said to Lydia, looking outside. "At least it got rid of all the paparazzis."

Lydia held onto Garfield as he was watching outside the window. After a minute or so going by, he could see his teammates circling around the block, as they were trying to subdue a villain, a villain he couldn't make out.

"Mama!" Lydia shouted out as she saw the familiar blue cloak swirling around the window. She was about to run out to greet her, but then realized that Garfield was holding onto her hand tightly and she would be running out into a battlefield. She held onto her African doll tightly in her arms.

She couldn't see the fight that well, but she saw her Uncle Robin taking a dive into the villain before he was thrown off and hit the ground hard. Her mother then swooped in and used her black energy to block the villain's razor-sharp blades being thrown at them. Probably was a run-of-the-mill type of villain, a kid who probably couldn't even drink yet, much less being able to rob a bank. A bank; how cliché. Villains couldn't even think about anywhere else to rob, the first thing they have to rob is a bank? The most highly secure spot in the whole city?

Nevertheless, Lydia watched her mother used her black energy to attack the villain off to the side. The villain then threw another disc, which surprised Raven, and knocked her out.

"Mama!" Lydia cried as she saw her mother fall to the ground, hitting the hard pavement. She tried to run out, but Garfield kept a firm grip on her.

"Lydia, no!" He said, preventing her from taking another step forward.

"But, Mama!" She cried out, trying to get her fingers to slip through his hands. She started to cry softly.

"Lydia, stop it!" He said, kneeling down. He looked out the window again; she was still on the ground recovering, but the others were already on the villain's case. He wanted to run out just as much as she did, and he probably would have before, but he was here with his daughter right now. He wasn't a hero today; just a citizen. "Look at me."

She tried to avoid eye contact, because she was mad and didn't want to cooperate with anything else. But evidently, she looked up.

"Now, Mama is working right now. It's dangerous work. I told you that. She'll be fine." He said in a soothing voice to try and calm her down. "She has her powers, and one of them is the power to heal herself; you don't. So, if you go out into the street during a battle, it doesn't matter if you are a child or not, the bad guys will attack you. Not to mention one of your Uncles or Aunt could accidently attack you while they are attacking the bad guy. Don't get caught between battles; you'll get hurt."

Her crying had calmed down to a subtle sniffle. He looked back outside to see how the battle was going. Raven was up and back in the action, although the action was dying down a bit and was coming to a close.

"Look out at the window." He said.

"Mama?" She said, looking up to see her mother back in perfect condition. "Mama can heal herself." She told herself.

They watched for a couple of minutes before the battle was over, and the villain was handcuffed and off to the nearest holding cell. People started to walk outside again, as the Titans were cleaning up. It was as if nothing had happened at all, and the Titans were merely doing construction work on the side of the road. Cars went by, people crossed the streets into stores, and civilization continued on without so much as the mentioning of what happened ten minutes before.

Garfield kept a tight grip on Lydia, nevertheless, while he paid for some of the store's homemade candy to take home as Lydia kept staring outside. Afterward, they both walked out of the store.

"Say 'goodbye', Lydia." He told her.

"Goodbye Lydia." Lydia said to the twenty-three year old.

"Oh, you have my sense of humor, alright." He said to her.

"Mama says that you're not funny, and that any sense of humor I have was from _her_." She said.

"Mama says a lot of things. _Most_ of the time they are true. Not all." He said as they walked outside.

"Mama!" Lydia shouted out to Raven as she was in close proximity to her.

"Lydia?" She said, looking behind her as she was bending the street lamps back to their original shape. She flew over to the two on the other side of the street. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you we would visit the city today." He said, looking around Raven, as her hood was covering up most of her face.

"What? What is it?" She asked him, noticing his wondering eye.

"I'm just looking for marks; I mean…we saw you fall. It took a lot of strength in me to just not run out after you."

"I'm fine, Garfield." She said, putting down her hood to prove her point. "I can take care of myself." She looked down at Lydia. "You just _had_ to dress her up in pink? I'm sure the press will just eat that up. Speaking of which, they haven't been that bad, have they?"

"We had a few problems at some shops, but I've block the flashes from her eyes if it became a problem for her." He said.

"So, what do you think of Jump City?" Raven asked Lydia in her monotone.

"There's a lot of people here and they keep taking pictures of me when I don't want them to. And it smells. But they have a toy store." She said, holding up her doll triumphantly. Raven didn't take it, but merely looked.

"At least it's not a Barbie, that's the important thing." She said, giving her approval of Lydia's new toy in her cold manner.

Hey, they were out in public, she wasn't going to jeopardize her powers just because she was caught off guard by their sudden arrival. Lydia wasn't surprised by her mother's nonchalant attitude, and merely just beamed over her new item instead of engaging with her mother. Garfield wanted to say something, but instead gave Raven a look so he would not be overheard by Lydia. She saw him and then exhaled, kneeling down back to Lydia.

"So…why did you pick this toy out?" Raven asked, feeling the cheap fabric from what it was made out of, her fingers gently brushing up against Lydia's own fingers.

"I wanted Daddy to show me what an African Native looked like." She said, looking up to her mother to make eye contact. "Also, the people taking pictures kept bothering us, so as soon as I found a toy I liked, Daddy wanted to get out of there fast."

"You weren't afraid, were you?" She asked, she looked up to Garfield. "She wasn't, was she?"

"Nothing happened. So, I'm thinking no." He said.

Raven went back to looking at Lydia and to hear her tales of her adventures in the big city that day. Garfield just sat down on the sidewalk and smiled. Occasionally, Raven would brush Lydia's loose hair away from her face and behind her ear. She allowed herself not to be concern with maintaining her neutral attitude, and became engaged in Lydia's words and actions.

Sometimes, a wandering loner paparazzi came down the street to discover the missing child and father that they had been stalking and lost. As soon as their presences was felt, or as soon as a picture was snapped, Raven looked at the poor soul who had the camera in his hand, and gave that person a disturbing look. Sometimes, it made the person run away, and sometimes she had to use her black energy to destroy the film inside of the camera, with her giving him the look of 'I can do _far_ worse than that if you don't leave in three seconds'. As soon as they would leave, she would go back to listening to Lydia's story, as if nothing had happened.

"I can only imagine the headliners for tomorrow in the gossip section, 'The Beast Played Low, While the Empathy was Out for Blood'. Something along those lines." Garfield said as he was watching the public getting on with their lives, occasionally stealing a glance or two at the celebrities they tried to act so blasé around.

"…..And then, we watched part of fight." Lydia said, coming to the conclusion of her day. She looked at Raven with unease. "You fell hard, Mama."

"Not too hard though, since I am up and well." She said, trying to ease her mind, but it wasn't working.

Lydia didn't believe her. Realizing that her words were not going to make a difference to her, Raven decided to show her what she meant. She gently grabbed Lydia's hand and released her black energy.

"You feel that?" She asked, looking into her eyes. "That is what heals me; that power. It's _my_ power. It flows inside of me. I was born with it. And I passed it on to you. One day, you'll have those same abilities. But with great power comes great responsibility—"

"—Like _Spiderman—_." Garfield added.

"—so when you are old enough, you'll be able to express these powers." Raven said, ignoring Garfield's comment. "Unfortunately, that also means you can't express your feelings. The more you feel, the more power you release. And if you release too much, you can't control it, and it could create accidents around the Tower."

"Your powers? What about Daddy's—" She asked.

"You didn't inherit Daddy's powers, because he wasn't born with it. Even though it is in his genes—meaning, inside of his body—he can't pass it down because my genes are more dominate—meaning more powerful—then his." Raven said, trying to explain it in the simplest way possible without going over her head. "When you inherit genes, it is usually at random. We don't know what you're going to look like until you are born. You got your green eyes from your Daddy, because it runs in his family. You got your pale complexion because my mother was Caucasian, and so was your Daddy's family. In fact, Daddy used to be Caucasian, with blond hair, before he was changed."

"He was?" Lydia asked, as she couldn't see her father any other way from his green skin and his green hair. She didn't even know what the word 'Caucasian' meant, but she figured it was the skin color of Robin and most people in the city, as her own skin color blended in more in a crowd then her mother or father's. "I can't feel?"

"Yes, you can." She said with a soft tone. "Right now, you can. But that is the reason why I don't want you to get too excited or to get too upset. I want you to get used to the feeling of not feeling because as your powers becomes more powerful, and they will get more powerful, you will have to hold back on your feelings a lot more. Does that make sense?"

"Like you?" Lydia asked, looking down. "Because Daddy says you aren't being mean on purpose, but you never seem to be nice enough. And I sometimes think it's because you hate me."

"Lydia, you know that's not true." Garfield said. He started to walk over to her, but Raven put up her hand, still glaring at the miniature version of herself that was getting upset.

"Lydia, look at me." Raven said in her monotone.

Lydia hesitantly stared into her eyes. At a time when Raven could very helpful and give advice to others when they were in need, she couldn't think of anything at the top of her head of what to say at the current moment. Arellla was right; she was still partly human, she couldn't be _that_ wise, as much as she wanted to be.

"I just got done fighting a criminal. My mind is exhausted. If I were to try and show some affection to you right now, I couldn't do it, because my powers would be uncontrollable and I would harm people with them. I am being calm right now, because I have to be. And when I don't look excited about doing something with you or put on a smile, it's not because I am miserable, it's because I am calm enough to keep my powers under control. And when I do show affection, that means I have been meditating a lot, and have enough self restraint—meaning self-control—to show some emotions." Raven said, trying to find the right words to say. There was only one thing she could say to her to make her feel better. "But I will say this; I love you. I love you more than you think."

"More than the size of these tall buildings?" Lydia asked, trying to test Raven's love, as she figured if Raven responded positively to her game, then it must be true.

"More than the trip to the moon and back." She said, giving her a small smile.

Lydia looked up at the sky and tried to find the moon, but it was daylight, so she couldn't. But she imagined where the moon was in the sky, and was satisfy with the distance that Raven had said, because she couldn't pinpoint how far the moon exactly was from Earth. Lydia jumped into Raven's arms and hugged her. Raven picked her up, as she felt the weight of the hug. Slowly, but surely, Raven let out a bigger smile, and quickly hid it away before a newspaper stand exploded. She and Garfield started to make their way to the Tower, by foot.

"Mama?" Lydia asked, as she was nestled in Raven's arms. "Why can't I get a Barbie again?"

Garfield just laughed.

OKAY, SEE YA GUYS SOON.


	17. Consequences of Another Decision

I MADE A TINY GRAMMATICAL ERROR LAST CHAPTER. WHEN I WROTE THAT LYDIA LOOKS UP TO THE SKY TO LOOK AT THE MOON, BUT SHE CAN'T SEE THE MOON BECAUSE IT'S DAY OUT, I ACTUALLY MEANT THAT SHE _PERSONALLY_ COULDN'T FIND THE MOON'S SHADOW, BUT YOU CAN IN FACT SEE A TINY BIT OF THE MOON'S SHADOW DURING DAYTIME YOURSELF. MAYBE THAT'S CALLED A TECHINAL ERROR. MAYBE I'VE BEEN PLAYING TOO MUCH MINECRAFT AND FORGOT TO PROPERLY EDIT IT. IN FACT THAT WAS IT.

BUT HEY, THAT'S ONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL THINGS ABOUT ASPERGERS, ONCE I'M OBESSED WITH SOMETHING, I FOCUS ON IT TOO MUCH TO THE POINT I KNOW WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. I LOOK AT ONE INTERESTING PAINTING FOR HOURS IF SOMEONE GAVE ME TIME AND COMFORTABLE CHAIR. ALTHOUGH, SOMETIMES THAT'S MORE OF A CURSE THEN A GIFT. OH WELL.

"Are you ready to tell them?" Starfire asked Robin, as they were both standing in the hallway, two days later, both embraced in each other's arms. Robin smiled.

"I have been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. I want to savor it before we tell them." He said, blushing as she smiled at him. She grabbed his arms as he kissed her lips. At that moment, Cyborg had opened up the door that was leading out to the living room.

"Oh, come on man! Is there _no_ place sacred from your guy's love fest?" Cyborg shouted at them. Robin blushed, with Starfire giggling. "Shouldn't you guys be past this point? I mean, seriously! What is so goddamn special that you have to make out in the middle of the hallway?"

"Actually, there _is_ something." Robin said, with Starfire turning her head away out of pure shyness, even with her close friends. "Call the other's; _we_ have an announcement."

"They're all out in the living room." Cyborg said in a low voice, amazed that their kissing actually had a context behind it. Usually, they were just affectionate in front of the team, because they were affectionate people. Well, Starfire was, and Robin always embarrassingly blushed if he even looked at her while the others were looking at him.

They all three walked into the living room, going towards the couch, as it was where the Logan's were hanging out. Raven was in her uniform, and Garfield was in his black baggy sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. Lydia was still in her pajamas, and her father wasn't in any hurry to change her clothes just yet. She had a sloppy ponytail on. Garfield and Raven were in their pleasant state of mind, as they both had another intimate night together a day ago; they tended not to be too formal with their routines after they had their nights, even though Raven still had to meditate. They just relaxed afterward. They had tried the roof again; that time they brought their _own_ cushions.

Raven was sitting on the couch, watching Garfield play with Lydia by the window while sipping her tea, when she could sense the other's coming towards them. She could feel the overwhelming positive energy Starfire unconsciously unleashed to Raven. It almost suffocated her. Cyborg sat down comfortably next to Raven, as he waited for Robin and Starfire to take the center of the room.

"Guys, we have an announcement to make." Robin said to the others. Garfield picked up Lydia and sat down next to Raven on her other side.

"So, what is it? A trip? You guys going on a mission?" Garfield asked, trying to keep Lydia still as she was trying to play with his hair. He couldn't think it was anything personal, seeing as it sounded like the usual Robin to him, and the usually Robin meant work. Lydia pulled on his hair, feeling abandoned by her playmate. "Lydia, stop. Uncle Robin and Aunt Stary are going to tell us something."

Robin and Starfire looked at each other, holding hands, smiling. The other three remaining Titans waited for a bit, before they glanced at each other as if they were interrupting an intimate moment between the two. Lydia was still trying to pull on Garfield's hair, not caring about anything else.

"Sooooooooo….any day now?" Cyborg chimed in, as he was getting tired of their mushy public display of affection.

"Well, you guys remembered all those fights concerning about us becoming pregnant?" Robin asked, while he blushed.

"Uh….yeah. I was there. Remembered it. Would like to forget it." Cyborg said, trying to get away from that moment in time when the whole Tower was against each other, and the cause of it was sitting in Garfield's lap.

"Well, we tried other methods of obtaining children…." Robin continued, looking at Starfire.

"—Whoa! Too much information!—" Cyborg interrupted.

"—No, not like that. I mean adoption. For years we have been trying to get accept, but we kept getting denied." Robin said, as Starfire blushed. "We….."

"We got accepted!" Starfire shouted over him, who never liked to be patient.

"Really?" Garfield asked, amazed yet still surprised to hear the news. "I mean, I thought that agencies had said you guys couldn't—"

"We did at first." Starfire said, she looked into Robin's eyes as she kept her head down. "However, I guess Earth does not want to look at applicants the first time they file. Because they—what did you say Robin? To test us?"

"More or less. The agencies looked at you two, raising Lydia." Robin said, pointing to the Logan's. "And they figured that maybe a hero raising a child _wouldn't_ be the worst thing in the world. So, they looked at us again. And again, and then once more. And today we just got the call that we will be proud parents very soon."

"Congratulations!" Garfield shouted.

"Well, congratulations, guys!" Cyborg shouted out loud. "Your dreams are finally coming true! We're getting another rugrat hanging out here! And maybe you guys won't do so much P.S.A. as well!"

"Congratulations." Raven said in her monotone voice, eyeing Starfire, as she remember the time when Starfire helped her coming to terms with her own pregnancy. Starfire smiled back, as if the two girls had their own unspoken language that they were speaking at the moment.

"So, when are you getting him or her? Do you know what it is? A boy, a girl?" Garfield asked. "So, you know, we can prepare….." He said, nodding his head over to Lydia.

"We don't know the little details about when. We were just told to prepare now." Robin said. "But we do know it's going to be a boy. It was from a woman in southern California who was in an abusive relationship with her husband. She got a divorce, but soon found out that she was pregnant. Her family wouldn't allow her to get an abortion, because of their religious upbringing, and so she was forced to keep him. She does not want this child, and her family won't help her raise him either. So, she was kind of forced to give him up for adoption."

"Well, that's sad." Cyborg said, bringing his voice down a bit. "You sure do know how to bring the party down, Robin. Does she know who is….."

"Well, we actually talked to her for a little bit. She said she feels less guilty about giving him up since she knew about the Titans and felt like we could provide him with a life she possibly couldn't. She has said that she is currently in therapy, and isn't ready for the mainstream society yet. So, after this baby, she hopes to move on with her life." Robin said.

"We offered her to come here and visit the Tower, so she can see what kind of life he would lead, but she turned down the offer." Starfire said. "She does not even want him considered her son after he is born. I find that strange."

"It's just how some people are, Starfire." Raven said, taking another sip of her tea. "Not every woman wants to necessarily be a mother. Some do and some don't. On this planet, it used to be considered a woman's primarily object in life to become a mother. Now woman have more choices. Well, at least in some parts of the world."

"If only I had her Earth body." Starfire said sadly, as if the news of having her own child was taken away by the thought of a human being being able to reproduce with another.

" 'If only'; if only food was free, then there wouldn't be as much starving people in the world as there is." Raven said in her cynical monotone. "You shouldn't focus on the negative aspect of things you cannot change. Focus on the positive things you can. That's how life is. That's why there are options like adoption out there."

"What's 'a-top-tion'?" Lydia asked, as she was trying to figure out what everybody was talking about. Now she was interested as soon as she heard the word 'baby'.

Usually whenever a meeting was called, she wasn't that interested in what the grown-ups were talking about, she barely paid attention, because it had nothing to do with her. Sometimes it was about Mama's job, and she wasn't interested because it disrupted her playing time as Garfield wanted to hear about it too.

" 'A-_d_op-tion', Lydia, and we'll discuss it another time, okay? Right now the adults are talking." Garfield said, lowering his voice to her.

"Don't patronize her, she can handle this news." Raven said to him.

"What news?" Lydia asked, turning her attention to Raven. "About a baby?"

"I'm not patronizing—I just thought that I could just tell her later, with a story or so to prepare her a little better. Not everybody was born well established like yourself." Garfield said, a little embarrassed that he was being called out in front of everybody else. Although, all things considering, it really shouldn't have bothered him at all because that was how their relationship kind of started. However, it was being called out about his parenting skills which really irritated him.

"When's what going to happen?" Lydia asked, looking back at her father. "A baby?"

"Uh….guys?" Cyborg said, cutting in as he knew the two Logan's were about to get into an argument.

Raven was the first to take her stare off Garfield, turning her attention to Robin and Starfire, the 'cutesy' couple, as they were sometimes called because Robin didn't like to use his last name.

"I'm sorry. That was petty of us." Raven apologized, before Garfield realized that this wasn't about them, and stared back at the two Titans who were making the announcement. Lydia pulled on Garfield's hair because she was irritated that nobody was explaining anything to her. "But seriously guys, congratulations. Lydia, don't do that." She said, giving her attention back to Lydia. "It hurts Daddy's head."

"Well, technically," Garfield said, looking back at Raven with a spark in his eyes, as if he never got irritated by her in the first place, with his one eyebrow raised. "_You_ have pulled harder."

Raven gave him a very small, almost microscopic smile, as she knew the others were still in the room.

"Can anyone ever just start a conversation with you four without subtext?" Cyborg said out loud to himself.

Raven used her black energy to smack him with the T.V. remote, as she quietly sipped her tea, not even batting an eyelash. He forgot that Raven didn't like to hear _that_ subject about them around people, even though Garfield started it, as she felt it made a mockery out of them. Garfield's sly comment was supposed to just make up for the fact that they had a tiny argument in the middle of someone else's celebration. Cyborg just _had_ to point it out to the others.

"As I was saying, congratulations." Raven said, trying to bring the attention back to them.

"Yeah, congratulations." Cyborg said a little less enthusiastically as he was rubbing the spot where the T.V. remote hit him.

Lydia was irritated that nobody was answering her question, again, and slipped out of her father's arms. She walked up to Robin and Starfire.

"Uncle Robin, Aunt Stary, what is everybody talking about?" Lydia asked, looking up to their two faces.

"Lydia, you're going to get a cousin." Robin said, bending down to her height.

"Cousin?" Lydia asked. She was trying to remember what the word 'cousin' meant. "A cousin is a…?"

"It is the child of your Aunt and Uncle." Robin said.

"Child?" Lydia asked, trying to piece the puzzle together.

"I told you I would explain it to her later." Garfield told Raven, who rolled her eyes. Old habits die hard. "Lydia, remember the story about the stork I told you about?"

"Yes." Lydia said, as their two pair of green eyes met. "But Mama says not to believe the silly stories you say. And the stork sounds like a silly story."

"Uncle Robin and Aunt Starfire are going to have new baby boy." Garfield tried to say in a soothing voice. Lydia looked up at her uncle and aunt.

"Really? A baby? _You're_ getting a baby?" Lydia asked them. Robin looked up at Starfire, with that look of gleam in his eye and then looked back down at Lydia.

"Yes. Your Aunt Starfire and I are going to have our own son soon. Sit in your Uncle's lap and I'll explain it." Robin said to her, sitting down on the floor so she could sit in his lap. She climbed into his arms and was waiting to be told what she was going to be expecting, as she had never seen a baby in real life, and could only rely on pictures found in her books or movies. "Aunt Starfire isn't going to get the baby from her stomach; she's going to get it from someone else, and soon."

"I don't get it. How is it Aunt Stary's going to have a baby if it ain't in her stomach? Mama says I had come from her stomach." Lydia asked, as she wasn't exactly sure if any of this was making any sense at all. She had heard about the stork, but like her mother warned her, if Daddy told a silly story, then she shouldn't believe it and she didn't.

"Sometimes the stork delivers a baby to the wrong parents." Robin said, trying to make it sound as simple as possible.

"So, the stork is real? A bird delivers a baby?" She asked.

"Well, the stork is not really a bird, but a saying. Like….when Uncle Cyborg says 'Boo-yah'. He's not saying that there is a ghost or that he's scaring you; he is just shouting out a word of celebration." Robin said. He could fight some of the toughest villains out there in the world, but he was having a hard time explaining to a four-year old where babies came from; and this wasn't even his own child. "The stork…..is a saying when a mommy and daddy get a baby. The mommy who is having our baby doesn't want him when he is born because she won't be able to love him enough; so she wants to give him away. So, she thought giving him to us would be the best way of telling her new son that she loves him, but she can't love him enough to raise him. Does that make any sense?"

Lydia looked at his masked eyes, and then looked at her own mother, who was quietly sipping her tea. Raven had a calm expression on her face, as she was okay with Robin telling Lydia the closest thing to the truth then Garfield's version, with fairies and magic birds as she suspected.

Lydia started to suck her thumb as Robin brushed her hair away from her eyes. She was going deep into her own world, blocking off the outer world consisting of her family.

"Lydia?" Robin asked a little concern, looking into her blank eyes. "Are you okay? Do you know what is going to happen? You're going to have a baby cousin to play with."

"Lydia, come here." Garfield said, putting his arms out while he still sat on the couch. She ran into his arms and hugging him tight. Her expression was blank, and it concerned him. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy? Why are you sucking your thumb?" Lydia didn't respond; she stared off into the distance and hugged him tighter while she kept on sucking her thumb. He turned his head over to his wife. "Raven?"

She tried to listen to the soft thoughts in Lydia's mind, as it actually did take some energy to do if she did not do it that often with someone. Garfield's barrier was easier to break through then most because she did it so often. But she couldn't hear Lydia say anything. She put her hand on her head, trying to clear her thoughts and only thinking about getting inside Lydia's brain, but all Raven heard was 'go away!' from Lydia and nothing else. She couldn't break her barrier, no matter how hard she pressed inside her mind.

"I can't read her thoughts." Raven said, putting her hand down, almost out of breath from the amount of energy it took her to try and pry with so little force, in what was equivalent into breaking a locked safe with only her fingers. The fact that she couldn't read Lydia's thoughts alarmed her. Yet at the same time, it also fascinated her.

"What do you mean you can't read her thoughts? She has to be thinking _something_." Garfield said, staring into Raven's eyes for the answer he wanted to hear and not what she had just said. Raven put her hand on Lydia's shoulder.

"Lydia?" She asked. Lydia ignored her, staring only straight ahead, only blinking occasionally. "Lydia." She said more sternly. Lydia turned her head towards her, looking up, slowly coming back to the real world. "Stop sucking your thumb."

She took her thumb out as if it was a command. Raven gently rubbed the fragile small fingers Lydia used to suck her thumb as Rae gave a small smile to her.

"Did you block my powers?" Raven asked. Lydia wanted to be frightened by this, because she thought that she was in trouble, but Raven's smile told her otherwise.

"Yes." She said slowly, trying to find out if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "I didn't want you to hear me thinking. Am I in trouble?"

"No, of course not." Raven said, as her smile inched bigger. "I'm proud of you."

"Proud? For what?" She asked.

"Because you learned how to control an area of your powers without unleashing it outside of your body." Raven said. "You learned how to block your thoughts, so others can't hear or see what you're thinking."

"I did? I just heard your voice inside my head, and screamed back at it to 'go away' and it did. I didn't think I was blocking it." Lydia said very calmly, reaching her hand out to her mother. Raven took it and held it ever so gently.

"Sometimes it is as simple as that. Sometimes it isn't. But you did it. You learned how to control blocking. I'm very proud of you." Raven said in her monotone, even though she wanted to shout it out from the rooftop. Lydia jumped into her mother's arms, trying her best not to spill Raven's tea, and hugged her tightly. "Now, you're going to have a baby cousin running around the Tower. I need you to be big girl and help Uncle Robin and Aunt Starfire out around the Tower when they need you. Can you do that? Lydia?"

"Yeah!" Lydia said enthusiastically as she nodded her head. She was slowly realizing the world around, remembering what the adults were talking about. A baby. Of course they were talking about getting a new baby. It all made sense now. She forgot why she had gone into a dead-like state, but now she was more energetic than ever. But of course, she couldn't be _too_ energetic, otherwise that would upset Mama. "Is it _really_ going to be a baby?"

"Yes, it is." Robin said, looking at Starfire, again. She giggled.

"(_Sigh_) God, you guys make everything sound so sparkling, that even good news can get old fast." Cyborg said. "I'm glad for you guys and everything, especially when I'm going to get a nephew, but I can't stand all this cutesy stuff right now!"

Robin and Starfire merely just looked at each other and blushed, as Cyborg once again sighed heavily.

* * *

That night, the two new parents stayed up in the living room to watch old campy movies. Cyborg was in the garage, putting on the new engine that he had designed for his car that was supposed to overcome some overheating problem that it been having lately. Lydia was fast asleep in her own room, tugging on her little African doll. Raven was up meditating in her room while Garfield was reading one of his romance novels.

"Why are you meditating at this hour?" Garfield asked, after looking up at the clock, turning his attention towards Raven and then going back to his book, not that it was entirely interesting. "Nothing happened today."

"Something _did_ happen." She said in her calm voice without so much as lifting up her eyes.

"You mean the news about Star and Robin?" He asked, peaking from his book to look at her floating body. "But that was good news. Raven, come to bed, you don't need meditation." He pleaded.

"But I do. It calms my nerves."

"I'm here."

"And that's your defense?" She said with her sarcasm. He rolled his eyes.

"You know I don't like you to meditate when nothing happened. We just controlled Lust a night ago. Isn't that enough?" He said.

"But something did happen."

"Don't play that 'mystery girl routine' of yours." He said, this time putting his book down. "Okay. What happened?"

"Robin and Starfire are getting a child. It's a new person in the Tower. You know how I feel about new people."

"I thought you handled yourself well. You were happy for them. And Lydia was able to control her powers a little. Now _that_ was an added bonus. I figure you would be happy about that at least." He said.

"I know. I am happy about Lydia. But it is still a new person." She said in her monotone.

"But it's a baby."

"I know. Still, I should meditate to prepare myself for this change." She said. "I need to prepare myself, before I start to prepare Lydia."

"Don't you think _I_ should do that?" He asked, thinking that maybe she would be taking on too many responsibilities if it prevented her from a good night sleep. Raven turned her head around, one of those rare moments when she broke from her meditation, and just glared down at Garfield with resentment. "What?"

"Don't you think I can raise my own child? Am I not capable of teaching her _myself_?" Raven said angrily. After the words came out of her mouth, she softened her expression, looking at him with regret and turned back around to her meditation. "I-I'm sorry. I lost control there for a second. That's why I am meditating."

He crawled to the edge of the bed slowly towards her, acting as though she was a dangerous animal in the wilderness. He reached up to massage her shoulders.

"What?" She asked, raising an eyebrow as she was wondering why he was massaging her after she just snapped at him.

"You're so sexy when you're parenting." He said.

"What?" She asked, confused to what he was talking about.

"You just said that you wanted to teach Lydia something that _isn't_ focusing on keeping her powers in check. You're taking an interested in something else other then the fact that she has her Demonic side." He said, massaging her shoulders even deeper, while sitting up on the bed with his knees.

"Garfield…..(_moan_)….Garfield! We just controlled Lust a night ago, don't tempt her." She said trying to fight back the soft touch he made with his hands that released some tension in her upper back. "I'm meditating."

"And that's sexy." He said, reaching up his head to kiss her shoulder and neck. "Seriously, nothing?" She tried not respond to his movements.

"You're certainly feeling touchy today." She said calmly.

"How can you deny me?" He asked, caressing her shoulders as he kissed it.

"Easy. Very, very easy." She said as she maintained her composure. "Lust is controlled; you're wasting your time."

"But _my_ own lust isn't." He said in a suggestive voice, as he continued to kiss her neck, while she tried to dodge his lips. "Come back to bed. I miss you. I'll be less touchy if you come back to bed. Please? I promise."

"No." He continued to kiss her neck, and started to suck the skin just below her earlobe, making her head roll down on it's side from the enjoyment.

"Come back to bed." He whispered in her ear, and then sucked below her earlobe again.

"Fine. I'm not going to get any meditation done anyway with you clinging on me." She said, opening her eyes.

She slowly got out of her lotus position, and slid herself into bed. She could have easily pushed him away with her black energy, but she didn't _feel_ like doing extra work. And if he _did_ plan on changing her mind, which he did, he might as work for it. And she felt he did. Was she too lazy to push him away, or did she knew exactly what she was doing for the extra touch of his skin? She thought it was a little of both. _He_ thought she was doing it all on purpose.

She used her energy to grab one of her books off the shelf, and turned it to where she left off. Garfield went back to spot, and read his own book, happy that he got his own way, even though he suspected that she wanted his kisses just as badly as he wanted to go to bed with someone next to him. She peaked over to him.

"You're reading one of the_ Princess Diary_ books? And this is the excitement that awaited me in bed?" She asked.

"Yep. Hey, at least I'm reading." He said, smiling as he turned the page.

"You did not just read that whole page, that fast." She accused him, grabbing the book out of his hand with her energy.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, as she glanced at the pages. She looked up at him with a suggestive smirk.

"This book is in large print." She said, throwing him the book back. "Why did you buy a book in large print?"

"Because I have eye trouble?" He said, as he chuckled nervously. She kept her stare on him. "Ok, it was to look like I was reading a lot, since there are more pages then the normal size books."

"You know, I'm the only one who watches you read your teen books, so you are not going to impress the guys when you read it." She said. "In fact, you wouldn't impress the guys at all if you are reading a _teen_ book."

"But I impressed _you_, at least for a little bit, before you found me out." He said, picking up the book and going back to his place. He waited for her reaction, smiling at his attempt at romance, while she kept smirking.

She went back to her own book, _War and Peace_, as she scooted herself over a bit to his side. He smiled, knowing that he _at least_ humored her with his attempt at romance. After a few minutes, he put down his book. He morphed into his cat form and snuggled against her hips as he fell asleep. She occasionally stroked his fur coat as she continued to read.

_At least _one_ of our pussy's is being petted tonight,_ he thought to himself.

"I heard that." She said in her stiff monotone, with Garfield jumping up a bit. "How come you're only funny when you're _not_ talking?" Garfield merely purred.

* * *

"So, what are you going to do when you don't get _your_ way?" Garfield asked Lydia the following week.

It was planned that Robin and Starfire were going to get their baby boy within six weeks, but premature births happened all the time. So, Garfield wanted Lydia to be well prepared for the changes that were going to happen sooner rather than later. Garfield was sitting in Lydia's room that day, still in his pajamas, adding a shelf in the corner of her room because Raven wanted to start Lydia's library, which was important to her more then to Garfield. Lydia was still in her own pajamas, but he was still fixed her hair and added a bow.

"Patient?" Lydia asked, wondering if that was the right answer. She handed him his hammer, which required both her hands to hold.

"Thank you. Yes, you need to be patient. Close your ears, this is going to be loud." He said before he started hammering in a nail. After it was in, he checked his work to make sure the shelf was secure enough. "There. That should please Mama for now. Now hand me those books, please."

"Is the baby going to have any powers?" Lydia asked, as she handed her books one by one to Garfield to put on the shelf.

"That's a good question. No, he won't. There are few people in the world that have super powers. If a mommy or a daddy has super powers, most likely their child would have powers too." Garfield said, while he was placing the books on the shelf. "I was special. I was born human, but had a disease. The medicine that your Grandma Marie and Grandpa Mark gave me had side effects, which caused me to have powers. Your Uncle and Aunt's baby has a mommy and daddy who didn't have any powers. Even though it is now your Uncle and Aunt's, the baby was made by another mommy and daddy. A mommy and daddy who didn't want the baby anymore."

"Why?" She asked.

"Didn't your Uncle Robin tell you? Don't you remember?" He asked.

"I guess so." She said sadly. Garfield looked back at her when he was done with the shelf.

"What's the matter, Little Lydia?" He asked, picking her up and setting her in his lap.

"That mama who doesn't want her baby. Why? The daddy can take care of him."

"I'm afraid the daddy doesn't want to either." He said sadly, trying to level with her. _It_ _was_ after all some pretty dark things to discuss with a four-year old. "Sometimes stuff like that happens."

"Did Mama want me?" She asked, looking into his eyes.

"Lydia…is.….is…is that what you were thinking of when Mama couldn't read your mind?" Garfield asked, astonished to hear her say such a thing. He always did wonder what caused her to freeze up in front the whole gang that day. Maybe that was it. The cold mother reminded Lydia of her own mother, one who said she loved her, but didn't necessarily show it. Lydia put her head down to confirm his suspicion. "Lydia. Didn't Mama tell you she loves you?"

She nodded her head slowly, still looking down.

"But you still think she doesn't? Right? At least not all the time? Lydia, I've told you before that Mama can't _feel_ _all_ the time. And when she does, that's a miracle in itself." He said, but she still had her head done. "Let me tell you story about Mama, before we went out on dates."

She lifted up her head slightly.

"We were all on the team together. It was a couple of months after we formed the team. Anyway, Mama sometimes can't control her feelings, and when she lets her anger out, it's out. If you think Mama is strict now, you should see her when her anger is out. That's no walk in the park." He started with, looking up at the ceiling, trying to reminisce about the past. "I made fun of her, and I was forced to go apologize, which meant going to her room. Except she wasn't there. But I was snoopy, and went in."

"Did Mama catch you?" She asked.

"Yeah, she _wasn't_ happy. But she had this mirror, where it went inside of her mind—don't ask how, it just did—and I met her different feelings. One was happy, one was brave, and another was sad." He said, looking at Lydia. "This is true. If you ask Mama, she will tell you this is true, even though it sounds silly. Anyway, they told me her _true_ feelings. Happy thought I was funny—although you're Mama _will_ still say that I am not funny, but I know differently—Brave thought I was cool, and Sad thought I didn't like her."

"Well, did you?" She asked. He smiled.

"That's the thing. I thought _she_ didn't like _me_. After that incident, I realized that she liked me, and we were really good friends after that, only because I knew she couldn't show her true feelings a lot. Although, she'll tell you a different story from what I am telling. But you know Mama; she doesn't like to make herself sound weak."

"So, what's the point?" She asked, wondering how it related to her. He smiled at her.

"The point is, is that Mama _did_ like me, even when I thought she didn't. Mama does love you." He said, trying to get her to smile. "And yes, Mama wanted you when you were born. And she loves, you know that. You know how she is, even when she doesn't show her love, it's still there. Buried deep inside her body. Ok?"

"Will everybody pay attention only to the baby?" She asked hesitantly.

"For the first few weeks, yes. But, everybody paid special attention to you when you were a baby, because you were the first born out of the Titans. This is your Uncle and Aunt's time to get attention." He said, skimming over the whole Robin crisis after the weeks she was born. "But Mama and me will still pay attention to you. Especially since he would be your new play mate. Aunt Starfire is going to stay home for a while, before trusting me to babysit him when she works. But I can't take care of him by myself; I'm going to need your help."

"So, I would be like a big sister? Except, he's my cousin?" She asked.

"Yes." He said, picking out one of the books from her shelf. "Do you like your shelf?"

"What's it for again?"

"To put your books in." He said, she stared at him for a while.

"What for? I don't know how to read." Garfield chuckled.

"My thoughts exactly, but Mama wants you to start reading soon. So, she made a library for you."

"Why?" Oh, how she asked questions even when they were answered.

"Because…..the sooner you learn how to read, the smarter you'll become. Like Mama." He said, opening the book he picked out. "For now, just follow the pictures."

"Am I going to go to school?" She asked. He was hesitant to answer her question.

"Because you are….different, and because we are afraid you will be….bullied, we decided to home school you." He said, trying to phrase his words correctly. "We can hire a teacher if you want, so you can learn from someone else. And we plan on getting you involved in some clubs to meet kids. But at the current moment, we don't want you to go to school….because of your differences. We are also afraid….you might release your power suddenly in the classroom. Okay?" She looked down. "Lydia?"

"I don't want someone else teaching me, I want _you_ to teach me." She said.

"I don't know if I am qualified to teach you…maybe your mother…..but not me, I'm not that smart. We'll talk more about this later. Okay?" He said, as he turned the page of the book to start the story. "'Once upon a time'…"

SEE YA GUYS NEXT WEEK.


	18. Reminiscing with Joy and Regret

NOTHING TO REPORT. I'M PLANNING TO READ ALL OF JANE AUSTEN'S BOOKS OVER THE SUMMER EVEN THOUGH I KNOW PRIDE AND PREJUDICE IS SUPPOSED TO BE HER BEST WORK, BUT MANSFIELD PARK LOOKS INTERESTING. I BOUGHT L.A. NOIRE, AND I'M NOT A VIDEO GAME GAL, BUT I HEARD IT COULD HELP WITH MY ASPERGERS, BECAUSE THEY TEND TO BELIEVE EVERYBODY TELLS THE TRUTH, AND I DO LIKE INTERACTIVE GAMES RATHER THEN SHOOTING ONES.

OH, AND THIS IS THE CHAPTER WHERE YOU MEET ROBIN AND STAR'S BABY. I GUESS YOU'RE MORE INTERESTED IN THAT THEN ANYTHING ELSE.

Two weeks later, Raven woke up in her room to the smell of lavender scented candles resting on her side drawer. Knowing what that meant, she turned her head over to her green companion, who was already up, with a shirt on and all. She didn't smile, but merely allowed him to give her the big box by his side, covered in blue crinkle wrapping paper.

"Happy Birthday, Rae." He whispered, as he quickly pecked her on the cheek. She kept her neutral gaze on him.

"I really wish you wouldn't go all out for my birthday, you know I hate to be made a big fuss over." She said, looking at the box before she slowly torn the sides.

"I promised I didn't do that much this year." He said, she raised her eyebrow in disbelief. "Okay, maybe, I just _cut_ back this year."

"Let me guess, a book." She said, as she was unsurprised by the weight of the box.

"Just open it; I can only keep this song stuck in my head for so long before I blab it out just thinking about it." He said.

"All you're saying is 'nice try Rae', over and over again in a bad tune." She said.

She opened the white box, hoping that it wouldn't be yet _another_ copy of the _Complete Works of William Shakespeare_. She had four copies and had already read all of his play. While it was interesting to read them over again, his plays were meant to be _watched_, not read. She figured that the Titans couldn't think of any other type of book, so they thought that she would love to read the same thing multiply times, because she was Raven. And Raven didn't do anything else, but read.

_Yeah, that's me. I do nothing, but read. Witty sarcasm, I might add, _she thought to herself in amusement. After she opened the box, she found the book sitting there wrapped up in newspapers, just to tease her. Once she unwrap the paper, she couldn't help, but let out a small chuckle.

"_Pride and Prejudice and Zombies._" She said, pulling out the book with the portrait of Elizabeth Bennet decked out in her Victorian dress and her face ripped apart. "How thoughtful." She gave him a small smile.

"You know I keep telling the guys not to give you a book, because that's my territory, but they are clueless on what else to give you." He said, trying to let her know that he was also tired of her getting the same thing year after year.

She rather not get presents at all, then to pretend she liked the things her teammates would get her. However, she had it the easiest, because she could just read _their_ minds to get what _they_ wanted for their birthday.

"Didn't one year, Robin gave me a blanket?" She said, resorting back to her monotone.

"Like I said, absolutely clueless." He said.

"Okay, when does this party start?" She asked, trying to prepare herself for a long, drone out get-together that she was not looking forward too.

Birthday's weren't her thing; it was everybody else's thing, but it wasn't hers. Even though it was _supposed_ to be her day, she had to act like whatever anybody did was making her happy, even if it wasn't, otherwise she would feel guilty because they would feel bad. Throughout the years, Garfield tried to get rid of anything that she didn't like, such as cheesy games, or tried to alter something she hated, like getting _only_ books with him being the one to get the book instead.

"There is no party." He said with a smile. She glanced back at him.

"Really? The team isn't planning on scary the Azarath out of me and then staying there for many hours?" She asked in her monotone.

"Nope." He said assertively as he brushed her hair behind her ear and rested his hand on her head. She smiled. "That's the team's birthday gift. No party. In fact, they left without us to go patrol the city." He scooted closer to her, and kissed her neck while she rolled her eyes. "And Lydia's busy watching a movie, a _long_ movie."

"Really? What time is it?" She asked, wondering how long she had slept, however his lips were so soothing that she really didn't care for her question anymore.

"_(Kiss) _I put something in your tea last night so you could sleep in, _(kiss) _it's almost noon." He said, as she fell back in the bed, with him on top of her. He kept on kissing her neck before he made his way up to her cheeks and her lips. He met his eyes with hers. "Are you mad?"

She looked into his eyes, giving him a small smile, before she grabbed her new book and put it in front of his face, blocking her own. He sighed, knowing what she wanted him to do.

"Read." She said, handing him the book. "I want to hear you read some."

He tossed the book to the side, looking at her eyes intently. He started to kiss her neck and cheeks again to try and remind her that she didn't need a book to escape reality, even though that was not exactly the reason why she read. She moved her head to the side and he continued the kiss her cheek, moving up to her hairline, where he started to sniff the small bits of hair she had.

"It's called shampoo and soap; maybe I should introduce you to them sometime?" She said, allowing him to indulge himself for the moment. "Had enough?" She asked, wondering if he forgot that it was _her_ birthday and not _his_.

"Was that also sarcasm as well?" He asked, trying to pretend she wasn't serious as he kept kissing her face. She turned her head, looking into his eyes.

"One more." She said. He kissed her lips for a good seven seconds, before he kissed them again for another seven seconds. "I said _only_ one more." She complained, pushing him to the side, grabbing the book on the floor with her black energy. She handed the book to a sour looking Garfield. "Read."

He sat up and held the book up to his face, as to show her that he was taking it seriously, even though he thought it felt silly. She watched him trying to scan the pages to see if he could skim through it.

"I'm going to still read it, so don't skip over lines because I'll know." She said, as she rested her hand on her head and started to make herself comfortable. He sighed, knowing her all too well, she would remember if he skipped a line or two when she read it back.

"'It is a truth uni…uni-ver-sally, universally ack…._(sigh) _ac-know…'" He said, trying to get through the first line.

"Sound it out." She said, as she was amused by his inability to read out loud. He knew the word, but just couldn't actually say it, as he was used to being read to, or reading by himself.

" 'Ac-know-ledge…acknowledge that a zombie', that word I do know, 'a zombie in po-ssess-sion, possession of brains must be in want of more brains.'" He read, looking back at her. "Should I keep going?"

"You just read a sentence. Yes, keep going." She said. He continued on.

After a page or so, she sat up on the bed, and snuggled up into his arms as he continued to struggle through the words he couldn't properly pronounce. She then forced him to lay back on the pillows, with him putting an arm around her, and had his one free hand supporting one side of the book and her one hand supporting the other, reading together. Or rather him _attempting_ to read, and her saying the big words for him.

* * *

"We really should talk about Azarath." Raven said.

They both were strolling on the dangerous beach that the Tower was stranded on, as the sun was about to set. The sky was still bright out, but the lighting was getting dimmer as the day was about to end. She was wearing her uniform, as she preferred it to anything else, and he kept his plain T-shirt and loose jeans on. He was carry a blanket, and trying to walk through the rocky path, as she seemed to walk around the rocks with no problem.

"Careful." She said, as he was struggling to catch up with her as she made her way out closer to the tide.

"Why talk about Azarath now? It's your birthday. Lydia's fine." He said as he had caught up with her. He looked down at the giant boulder they were both standing over. "Is this the spot?"

"Yes, this is fine." She said as he laid down the blanket over the rock beneath them. They sat down, looking out into the horizon. The team had come back and was now looking after Lydia while they both had some quiet time. "We should just talk a little. It's been a while."

"You know I am against Azarath." He said looking at her as she watched the sun slowly lowered down. "I think you can train her just fine. Sure, there was a bad week, but we got through it, and we learned our lesson."

"_I_ learned _my_ lesson." She corrected him as she tried to remain still, reminding him that it was her fault why her Rage came out. He grasped her hand.

"No you don't, Rae. Don't start that again. It's your birthday." He said, pleading with her not to feel guilty.

"Okay." She said, turning her head and looking into his desperate eyes. "But I don't know how long it will be until her powers will mature, and she isn't prepared. I don't know if meditation will be enough."

"Well, look…..Robin and Star are going to get a new baby soon. Right? Maybe this will distract her, and force her to grow up a little and become more responsible. This might be a test to her emotions now, before they get powerful. Their new baby could be the best test for Lydia to deal with because it's a change in her environment." He said. She raised one of her eyebrows, impressed with his reasoning.

"That actually sounded rather intelligent. How did you become smart all of a sudden?" She asked, resting her forehead on his.

"Do you really need to ask?" He said confidently to imply she already knew. They both turned their head to watch the sun disappear from view, with the orange sky slowly turning purple. He wrapped his arm around her. "Now, why would Lydia want to go to Azarath, when she has beautiful Earth?"

"If Lydia does end up going you Azarath, you know that I would have to go along with her. Are you more afraid of Lydia going away or I?" She asked, turning her head to him, trying to look through his soul.

"Why ask that question? I don't want neither or you to go away." He said wincing, thinking it was an odd and an inappropriate question to be asking for this conversation. "That's like saying 'would you liked to be stabbed in the throat or in the heart?'."

"I think you have a greater fear then you are letting on. And it would ease my nerves, as well as yours to admit it. Now, be honest, are you afraid of Lydia going away or I?"

"That's a trick question. Because…I should say Lydia, only because she is my flesh and blood, but….well….you are my best friend." He said, looking at her, as if he was confessing it for the first time.

The question took him back to the day, similar to this one, where he confessed to her that he did indeed love her. He said it to her, as they were both watching the sun go down after countless 'not' dates-dates they went on. Funny how déjà vu worked.

"You were my best friend on the team." He said, proud to finally admit it instead of acting like it was Cyborg all those years.

Well, he was, but after a certain point it did become Raven. He was attracted to her not only because she seemed mysterious and forbidden, but when he opened up to her, she didn't laugh at his concerns, not if they were real ones, whereas the rest of the team did. She would tell him that sometimes the team didn't know where the joker Beast Boy ended and the real one started, and so it was harder for them to understand certain things. But she could, because she could sense his pain was real and heavy sometimes.

Sometimes she became easy to talk to because when he would crack a joke, at least she would add some sarcasm to his humor, making it worthwhile to crack, even if she was insulting him. It was better than the rest of the team's nonchalant, or even sometimes annoyed, attitude. The team would ignore him for some time, but she managed to make him feel like it was at least worth trying to joke, even though he was unfunny. At least that's what she would say.

Sometimes in interviews, they both were pushed off to the side, as Robin and Starfire's relationship seemed to sell more papers, and Cyborg was just loud enough to make himself known. Or if it was a battle, then they were told 'we got it', and were not called upon to help defeat a villain. It wasn't a lot of times that the others did it, but it was enough to make Garfield try to make small talk with Raven, who felt just as hurt as being an outcast as he did. Sometimes, their discussions, when they were discarded, was about how annoyed they we're about the issue.

"You were my best friend. And then I asked you out. And then we became _more_ then best friends…but you still _are_ my best friend…was I yours when we were kids?"

"Kids? It's not like it was a century ago. We were adolescences. Although, sometimes our teammates would _act_ like children, you especially." She said. She didn't have to think about it as much because she already knew the answer. "Starfire wasn't exactly someone I wanted to hang around _all_ the time, because she asked so _many_ questions. Robin wanted to hang out with Starfire more then with anyone else. And Cyborg was only fun when I played him in games or helped fix his car. But you? Well, I liked to ridiculed your ego, because I kept you in line. You needed to grow up because I wanted to make sure you wouldn't taint the good name of the Titans."

"Or you did it because it was so easy and so fun." He said suggestively, not believing her about upholding some honorable code. "Because I was acting like an idiot? Right?"

"Well, I don't think you were acting. You were and still are." She said in her monotone.

"Hey!" He said, "That's not fair, because you know I won't argue with you on your birthday. You didn't answer my question, anyway, was I your best friend before I asked you out?"

She lifted up her head up a bit, staring at the sky full of endless stars. She remembered the countless times that they bickered back and forth when they were on the sidelines while the others took control. He would make a joke, and she would add some sarcasm to it. Sometimes one would save the other from an attack from the criminals, or in one case, Raven had to hold Garfield while he was hypnotized.

"Yeah, you were. You certainly were a good friend when we started dating, despite my behavior."

"You had your reasons. Let's not pretend it was going to be an easy thing to do even if you _didn't_ have the type of powers that you have. I mean, we are teammates, Robin and Star had some falling out." He said. She turned her head towards him.

"But we are _not_ Robin and Starfire." She said. "Don't compare us to them."

"What do you bet Robin says the same thing to Star about us?" He asked, staring up at the sky himself.

"I _know_ he says it to Starfire. He thinks we're a high school couple." She said. He chuckled at the thought.

"If _we're_ too high school for him, then _they_ are elementary school. Seriously, they say 'I love you' every single day, I swear, and they kiss right in front of us without being shy about it. But if you ask Robin, then he'll all of sudden become shy right there! And they were married first!" He said. She let out a small giggle. "See, I am funny."

"Maybe there's something in the air tonight that's causing me hallucinations." She said, trying to refrain from laughing more.

"I love your laughing, why do you try to hide it?" He asked, trying to get away from the whole Lydia going to Azarath conversation.

"The more I refrain from laughing, the better it will sound. Therefore you love it _because_ you hardly hear it." She said, trying to get back to her usual tone while she continued to look into his eyes.

"I'm lucky to have been in love with my best friend." He said, borrowing lines from a song they once heard, but never really indulged in the phrases until now.

"Lucky to have been where I have been." She continued the song for him in her monotone. He couldn't help, but kiss those lips that said to him that she was lucky. After he broke off, they both looked up again to the stars.

"Happy Birthday, Rae."

"Don't try to back away from the conversation. We _will_ talk about Azarath again."

"We'll see." He said.

* * *

"I wanna see! I wanna see!" Lydia screamed as she jumped up and down on the couch. Her formal black and purple dress that was pinned to her body tight did not stop her from moving so violently. Raven used her black energy to stop her from running off the couch and scaring poor Aunt Starfire with her excitement.

"Shhh. Lydia, what did we tell you?" Raven asked her, as Lydia was trying to break away from her mother's energy. "I won't release you until you calm down." She was ten feet away from the couch, closer to Starfire, but she was not afraid to use her powers against her own child so that Starfire wouldn't be trampled over.

"Lydia, please calm down." Garfield said as he came over to the couch to gently hold her and give her comfort, more comfort then what her mother was giving. "Raven, can you let go?"

"No, she may not mean too, but she will scare the baby." She said in her calm monotone, looking intently at Garfield to imply that she was not afraid to use her powers on _him_ either.

Poor Starfire and Robin, who had just entered the living room with multiply bags and a white blanket wrapped around their new baby boy. Star had just gotten used to holding him and walking at the same time when she entered the room and saw that it had turned into a battle field. Raven, who was in her uniform, was already there in the doorway to greet them, probably already knew what kind of fight that laid ahead, with Cyborg following behind the two as he was carrying extra bags from the trip down south of California.

The last week the three Titans and Lydia were alone in the Tower. Until today, today that would become five Titans plus two. And all week Lydia was anticipating for this very day, and Raven knew.

"Friend Raven, do you not think that maybe you are being too extreme? Dear Lydia may look at him." Starfire said as calmly she could to her.

Raven looked into Starfire eyes, and dissolved her energy around Lydia's body, allowing Lydia to run up to her Uncle and Aunt. However, when Raven looked down at Lydia with her disapproving stare, she slowed down her speed and walked calmly up to them.

"Aunt Stary, can I see the baby?" Lydia asked, looking at her mother who now gave her a look of approval towards her actions.

"Why of course dear Lydia, how nice you look today. Did father Beast Boy dress you today?" Starfire asked, looking at Lydia's outfit, with her dark violet hair pulled back into a neat ponytail with a black bow.

"He did my hair. Mama put on the dress. She said I had to look nice for my new cousin. Can I see him?" She asked, looking up at her mother. Raven slowly nodded her head, and Lydia looked anxiously back at the calm Starfire.

Starfire didn't seem like the gullible child-like Starfire anymore. Her bubbly personality was still there, but she was more relaxed rather than hyperactive. Robin walked over to the television before he passed out on the couch.

"That was a long trip." He said, dropping down the bags he was carrying. "Star and I stayed up most of the night last night, because he was crying so much. I…..am….tired. _(Yawn)_"

Both Garfield and Raven made contact with each other and grinned, knowing that the two were in for more surprises then they thought.

"Do you know how long it will be before babies just go to sleep without waking up?" He asked Garfield who was next to him. Again, Garfield eyed Raven, who tried to suppress the urge to laugh.

"All babies are different. So, I don't know." Garfield said. He didn't want to break Robin's bubble, and he also wanted Robin to find out for himself, but it was the truth; all babies were different. A truth that Raven was starting to learn the more she looked at Starfire and her own child.

Starfire walked over to the couch and sat down next to Robin. They were still not afraid to give each other a peck before she looked down at her own child. Garfield, Raven, and Cyborg all sighed when they did so. Lydia ran to sit next to Starfire, while Cyborg and Raven were both helping with the bags that they had left near the front entrance.

After she was done, Raven walked over to view the child from above the couch. He was neatly wrapped in a blanket, but she could tell he had pale peach skin, and was already starting to grow, from what it look like, black hair, with big puffy cheeks and a square face. After a few minutes of him making squinty faces at the gang, he opened up his eyes.

"There he is." Starfire said softly, tilting him a little over to the side so Lydia could see. As soon as Lydia was about to get overexcited, she looked up to her mother, who gave her usual stare about getting overexcited. The narrow brown eyes looked over to Lydia real quickly, before it closed again. He yawned.

"Can I hold him! Can I hold him!" Lydia asked, almost wanting to grabbed him out of Starfire's hands.

"Some day, but not right now little one. We had a long trip _(Yawn)_." She said. The young creature opened its eyes again, and looked up to Starfire.

"Why is his eyes funny?" Lydia said, pointing at his narrow brown eyes.

"Lydia, don't be rude." Raven scolded.

"Raven!" Garfield scolded back.

"It's alright." Starfire said to both the Logans'. She looked down at Lydia. "Remember the movie _Mulan_?" Lydia nodded. "Remember how their eyes were? And their hair?"

"Pointy eyes like him." She said, remembering the movie better. "And everyone had black hair."

"They lived in the Earth country called 'China' on the Earth continent called 'Asia'. There's another country close to China called 'Japan'. My little boy's mother is Japanese." Starfire said softly as she looked at her own creature again. "Japan is a glorious place; it is possibly my favorite Earth country to visit."

Robin put his hand on her shoulder as he knew why she was proclaiming her love of Japan; it was where they first confessed their affection for each other, and had their first real kiss.

"Con-ti-nent? Like Africa?" Lydia asked, looking up at Garfield who had made his way over to Raven to view the baby from where she was too.

"Yes, like Africa. Except Japan is different than Africa." He said.

"Like _Mulan_?" She asked.

"China and Japan are similar countries, but they're not the same. Kind of like Mulan, but not totally." He said, as he remembered the days in his youth when he thought the Great of Wall of China was in Japan. Raven had taught him a lot, and when he had Lydia, he wanted to know more in case she asked questions, which she did, a _lot_. "What's his name?"

"Bruce. Bruce Ryand'r." Starfire said.

"Let me guess who named what." Cyborg said jokingly. "What does 'Rie-an-di-whatever' mean?" He asked, trying to say exactly how she pronounced it.

"It's my little brother, whom I have not seen for many years. I don't know what happened to him or if he is even still alive. I hope so. I do not have any more family connections with Tamaranean then him and Galfore." She said looking at Robin sadly. He held onto her hand, making her crack a smile. "I wanted to name him Ryand'r, but Robin said we should pick an Earth name. Something simple for people to say, like my name."

"So you picked Bruce? What made you pick Bruce?" Cyborg asked, putting down the bags in the kitchen and walking closer to the couch. Robin merely smiled and looked up to his half-robotic friend.

"It's just a name that I like." He said, keeping his secret safe with himself. Not even Starfire knew exactly the whole reason why he settled on Bruce, but she had her suspicion. "It's just a nice name, nothing special. _(Yawn)_"

"Tired?" Garfield asked Robin, looking at Raven.

"Yeah, we planned on staying up, but I _(Yawn) _think we're going to take a nap." He said. Bruce started to whimper, making Starfire get up and retrieve a bottle from one of her bags, but he did not want the bottle and began to cry.

"Come on, Lydia, it's time for a nap." Raven said.

"How can I sleep when there is a baby in the house?" She asked, starting to become hyper again. Raven looked towards Garfield, giving him a disapproving stare.

"Mama's right, Lydia. You're _too_ excited." He said, trying to back Raven up. "Aunt Stary and Uncle Robin just came home. They need time to settle in, with a new baby and everything. But you will get a chance to hold him, just not right now."

"But—" Lydia protested, but Bruce's cries were becoming louder.

"_He_ needs to settle too. Come on, you need to settle down." He said, holding out his hand to her. Lydia was still fascinated by the new creature that had entered her life.

"Lydia." Raven warned her. Lydia took Garfield's hand and walked out with him to her room. Raven looked at her teammates around her.

Cyborg started the Gamestation, setting the volume down rather low, but he couldn't guarantee that he could keep _his_ voice very low. Robin was half-asleep on the couch, part of him watching Cyborg and the other part trying to suppress the urge to close his eyes.

And Raven then turned her attention to Starfire, who was trying to sooth her child to sleep. He would at times cry really loud before he became quiet so suddenly. Whether or not he was crying loud, Starfire still maintain a calm composure, rocking him back and forth with that motherly gleam in her eyes. She started to sooth him with her humming.

Even though Raven was completely happy for both Starfire and Robin, she did somewhat felt this weird sense of resentment when she saw Starfire holding her newborn, cradling him ever so slightly and him responding well to her nurture. Starfire was very calm, almost as if she had this motherly instinct all this time without asking helping from Raven or the boys. It was a bit unusual to see, as Raven was used to seeing Starfire being the dependent type, and Raven being the one to rarely openly ask for help.

At this moment, Raven looked between Starfire floating around, rocking Bruce back and forth, and then looked back to the boys hanging out on the couch, not lifting a finger for anything, but for the remote. She looked at her own reflection in the window, and although it was still day outside, she could see her face. The face that was clever at hiding her emotions around everyone else, except herself. She didn't like what she saw, and slowly backed away from the scene, trying to sneak off quietly without being discovered.

The baby began whimpering again, and started to cry as soon as Raven had quietly reached the door. She was almost in the clear, sneaking off that is, until she felt a hand touch her shoulder, and the loud sound of Bruce's crying. She turned around.

"Yes?" She asked Starfire who had come down from the air to stand on the floor, holding Bruce's body gracefully in one hand, rocking him as best she could with her one hand supporting him. She had super alien strength, she could do that. Raven didn't know what she wanted.

"I am sorry." She said, while she smiled.

"For what?" Raven asked, raising an eyebrow.

"For the times that I was jealous when you had Lydia. You know, when I ran out of the room a couple of times when you took over the duties that I used to do with her." She said, a little surprised that Raven would forget that.

"Hmm? That? You don't need to apologize. I knew you were going through a rough time with Robin. I wasn't going to get mad about that. _I_ was more concerned with myself overcoming the fear of touching Lydia then being mad at you for being jealous. It was understandable." Raven said. "Now's the time for you to get over those miseries because you have Bruce."

"Then, it does not bother you the fact that I am holding Bruce, and am happy with taking care of him, while you could not with Lydia when she was a baby?" She asked, very innocently, not expecting much of a violent answer from her.

Bruce's small cries were becoming louder and louder. While Starfire was looking over him, saying soothing things to calm him down, she occasionally looked up to a petrified looking Raven, but of course Starfire couldn't see that she was petrified. The cries were becoming louder to Raven, even though they were quieting down, and her mind would just went back to the times when she _would_ hold Lydia and something bad happened. Or when she _didn't_ hold Lydia and something bad still happened. Each time something bad would happen, that Raven would once again swear not to hold her, until Garfield made her break that promise. Holding Lydia physically was not exactly her problem, what was her problem were her fear that she would feel too much for whatever reason and cause her to do some considerable damage to the room, to the Tower, or worse, to Lydia herself.

It took her a long time to forget her mother's advice, her own worries, worries that probably were sparked by her mother's advice, and her own fear of just being a bad mother in general, without the whole Demonic mystery girl element. However, Starfire talking about it just brought it all back to her.

"Raven?" Starfire asked her, making her come back to planet Earth and away from the trip down memory lane. Bruce had stopped crying, for now, and was doing his best to go back to sleep, with him whimpering occasionally.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?" She asked, trying to maintain a cool composure.

"I asked if it bothered you that I am now holding Bruce when you couldn't for the longest time hold Lydia?" Starfire rephrased.

"No….why…..why would I be bothered? What made you asked that?" She asked, as she was still trying to retain her monotone, which was failing her. Starfire was about to answer, but Raven interrupted with a, "I need to meditate." And transported herself out of the room and into her own.

* * *

She stood by her doorway, leaning her head up against its frame, as she was trying her best to suppress this urge to feel. Not just any feeling; jealousy, no less. And she remembered the last time she felt this jealous at someone; Terra, on the night Lydia was conceived. Why did she named her daughter after that witch? What was she thinking?

"What was I thinking? Oh, how I hate Terra." She whispered to herself, changing the subject of her jealous rage from Starfire to Terra, because it was just easier to hate Terra than anyone else. Her black energy was unconsciously unleashed into the room, with Garfield's stuffed animals, her books, and a few of Lydia's toys lifted into the room and bounced up and down. "That stupid bitch _Terra_ broke Garfield's heart; all along while _she_ was working for Slade because she thought we betrayed her trust just because Robin learned she couldn't control her powers?"

She starred at the doorframe that was inches away from her face and slammed her fist on the door. She was sweating, and she tried to rub the evidence away with her uniform sleeve. The books, stuffed animals, and toys began to spin around faster, until it created a breeze in the room.

"_I_ can't control my powers sometimes. Nobody ever gave _me _a pity part. _Terra_ can give all her love back to Garfield, and the child _they_ _could_ have had; but _I_ can't! Stupid, self-absorb, back-stabbing, egotistical bitch!" She punched the door once more, as she tried to calm down.

After a few moments of silence, which seemed to sooth her, she widened her eyes to the surprise that was waiting behind her. She could feel both Garfield and Lydia's presences, sitting on the bed.

All the books, stuffed animals, and toys fell in their place at that instant.

AGAIN, JUST GOT TO LOVE THE CLIFF HANGERS.


	19. New Troubles Arise

A LITTLE SHORT, BUT I AM PREPARING FOR SCHOOL TOMORROW.

Garfield and Lydia were sitting on the bed behind her, as she sense their presences.

She didn't know why she couldn't feel their presences before. Well, she did. She was too wrapped up into thinking about Starfire. So she focused that anger and jealously towards Terra instead of Starfire, because Star was her friend, and Terra was not. Raven was too involved with her own emotional breakdown, without her Rage taking over her, thank Azarath, that she didn't even scan the area for anyone in the room before she went into her rant.

"You guys are right behind me, aren't you?" She asked, lifting her head a bit, but not looking back just yet, trying to let them know that she had realized that they were there after she was done with her rant. She didn't hear a reply. She slowly turned around.

Garfield was deep in the covers, looking intently worried at Raven, as he was holding onto a terrified Lydia. Lydia buried her face in his chest, trying to resist the urge to cry, only whimpering at her best, keeping her arms tightly around his waist. Garfield wanted to be mad, because she had scared her daughter, but her rant worried him more.

Raven carefully made her way to the bed, sitting down on its edge. She didn't know what to do. She looked up to Garfield for any suggestion, but he was still shaken by her rant himself, that they only thing he could do was to comfort Lydia.

"Lydia, I…" Raven started off with, but couldn't finish her thought. She reached her hand out to them, but dropped it after she reached a certain distance. She looked down on the bed, not knowing what to do or what to say.

"Cyborg…..is still constructing Bruce's room, so Lydia's naps have been in our room for the past week." Garfield said slowly, trying to explain why they were not in Lydia's room.

"Right…" She said, as she and Cyborg had been taking on the city by themselves for the past week and didn't know about the little changes that happened at home. She sat there, helpless to do anything or to say anything.

After a few awkward minutes passed by, Lydia's cries turned from a high pitch whimpering to heavy breathing. Garfield turned his attention from Lydia to Raven, back to Lydia. He was caught in the middle and was hesitant to do anything at first, only because Raven would usually find a way to break the silence. But she didn't know what to do at that moment. There might have been a rule book on how to raise a Demonic child, but there wasn't a rule book on how to raise Lydia herself, despite what some child-rearing authors may think.

Lydia had never seen her mother that unstable. She had never seen her mother upset or emotionally distraught. Raven's scene scared her, and yet at the same time it showed Lydia that her mother did have those human traits she always had herself, but never saw her mother express them.

After Lydia had calmed down, Garfield looked down at her as she looked up at him. He nodded his head towards Raven to her. She looked at Raven and then looked up at Garfield, hesitant to do anything. Garfield gave her an encouraging smile and nodded towards Raven to her again.

She crawled carefully over to Raven, stopping in the middle of the bed to suck her thumb real quick before she crawled again, only using her left hand to help support her. She was a few inches away from Raven and took her thumb out as she looked at her mother's dead eyes. Raven was lost in her own world, trying to suppress any feeling.

"Mama?" Lydia asked, unsure of what else to say. "Mama, don't be angry." She slowly reached to Raven's hand that was resting on the bed and petted it. "Daddy's not going away, are you Daddy?"

"No, I'm not going away." He said, knowing that she knew his real name from her mother's rant and probably thought that this Terra was going to steal him away from her mother.

"See? Please, Mama, you're scaring me." She said, rubbing Raven's hand and looking into her dead eyes. "Mama? You're never upset. Please, Mama."

She didn't know what else to do besides rubbing her mother's hand. She was starting to develop tears in her eyes again, because she almost believed her mother to be dead due to the lack of response.

"Rae?" Garfield quietly said in the back of the bed. He knew she was going into a trance, but he wanted her to snap out of it.

"Daddy, what's wrong with Mama?" Lydia asked, almost hysterical.

"She's meditating, but she doesn't realize it. She's trying to stop herself from feeling sad or angry. And this has caused her to be put under a spell, which makes her seem like she is asleep with her eyes open." He said. However, despite having this knowledge, he felt her going into one of her trance was the _last_ thing she needed. "Lydia, keep calling to her. She needs to wake up."

"Mama? I…I love you. Don't you love me? Mama? Mama!" Lydia said, continuing to rub her hands. Lydia's thoughts were also becoming hysterical; to the point it was reaching to Raven's mind.

_Mama, mama! Please wake up! Don't die! Mama, mama! Don't leave me! I love you, don't you love me too!_ Lydia thought.

This was blasted through Raven's ears, and she started to blink after she was sent the message. Raven wasn't reading her mind; Lydia was _sending_ her the message. Raven looked around her, before she gazed down upon her child. Raven opened her palm to let Lydia hold onto her hand as she kept her stare on her.

"I do. I love you too…..I-I'm sorry you had to hear my outburst." Raven said, slowly picking Lydia up and setting her on her lap. "I said some pretty nasty words there. You know which _ones_ I am talking about, as you have heard Uncle Cyborg say them. You know that only adults can say them, not you."

"I know." Lydia said, imagining what kind of punishment she would have if she even tried to utter those naughty words.

"Lydia, don't cry. I wasn't dead." Raven said, wiping a tear off her face.

"I know, I was just scared." She said looking down and closing her eyes. "Africa, lions, flowers. Africa, lions, flowers…" She chanted.

Raven looked up to Garfield, who was fearful of getting close to her, and she knew it. After a minute or so past by, Lydia was calm enough to stop her chanting.

She looked up into Raven's eyes. "Mama, who-who's Terra?" She asked.

Raven didn't answer her for a while and merely played with Lydia's small hands as she hummed to the tune of 'I Want to Hold Your Hand'. Lydia asked the question again; Rae still ignored the issue at first, but finally realized Lydia would never let a question go unanswered, and that she would bring up the question at an inappropriate time that would cause Raven embarrassment.

"Terra was a girl on the team, a long time ago, before your Daddy and I dated. She betray—" Raven looked up at Garfield, who gave her a sour look. "There was a misunderstanding. We thought she had betrayed us, by telling the villains what are weaknesses were to defeat us, but it wasn't so. She disappeared after that mission, trying to save us. We do not know if she is dead or missing. But if she is missing, she doesn't want anything to do with us."

"Why does this Terra make you upset, Mama?" Lydia asked, wondering if she was getting the whole story, or if they were once again sugar-coating a story for her. "You called her a bad word." Recalling a particular word that she knew was bad and her mother used it to describe this Terra.

"Yes, yes I did." Raven said, still staring at Garfield, who had softened his expression. "This Terra girl used to date Daddy. This made me…..not like her." Lydia raised her head up.

"You just said that you _thought_ she betrayed you, but at the door you shouted out she did, before you knew we were there. Did she? And what did Terra do to break Daddy's heart?" Lydia asked, recalling most if not all the rant.

_That stupid bitch broke Garfield's heart; all along while she was working for Slade because she thought we betrayed her trust because Robin learned she couldn't control her powers?_ Raven's mind recalled.

"Did I say she betrayed us? I-I was just lashing out. I was upset and—" Raven kept her stare on Garfield. "And-and-and…."

I_ can't control my powers sometimes. Nobody ever gave a pity party for me. She can give all her love back to Garfield, and the child they could have had; but I can't! Stupid, self-absorb, back-stabbing, egotistical bitch!_ Raven again recalled. She was lost on what to tell her daughter. The truth was always agreeable, but a truth that was too dark for a child was not agreeable at the time.

"Yes, Lydia, Terra _did_ betray us." Garfield said, looking at Raven. She sighed in relief; she didn't have to lie anymore. He looked down at Lydia. "Mama was trying to take my feelings into consideration, because Terra _was _my first crush. It was a messy breakup, and it was very painful to go through. Even though she did betray us, she tried to make it up for it at the end of the mission, by sacrificing herself. But we don't know if she really is dead or if she is missing."

"Why did Mama call her a bad word?" Lydia asked, focusing her attention on Garfield, who was telling more of the truth then her mother.

"Like Mama said, Terra broke my heart." He said, looking into Raven's sunken eyes. "And she didn't like how I was treated by Terra. She and Terra didn't get along on the team, because Mama didn't like how Terra ran away from the group for some time, blaming her runaway on me, even though it was nobody's fault. When Terra finally did come back, Mama couldn't trust her anymore, but I still could. Mama is telling you half the truth because she knows that I still care for Terra, only because she was my first crush, and Mama doesn't want to upset me."

"Did you like Daddy at the time, Mama? Or was that after? Were you jealous of Terra?" Lydia asked, looking back at Raven. Lydia was asking too many things at once for Raven to process and give a complete detailed answer. Or at least a truthful answer without hurting Garfield's feelings.

Dammit, she promised Garfield and him vice versa that they would never bring up their past relationships. She slightly broke that rule when she was confronted with Terra in her mind the night Lydia was conceived, and then when she told the story of Malchior to said conceived child. Now she had a meltdown, and instead of making Starfire the target, she just _had_ to think of Terra. And Lydia just _had_ to hear. As well as Garfield.

Garfield had broken that promise before, by bringing up Malchior early in their relationship, but he had a good reason. At least that's what Rae would excuse him with. By the time Raven had given him even the tiniest approval of going out with him, she was still shaken up by Malchior, and was very mistrusting to whatever Garfield told her on those dates. He was then forced to find the root of the problem about her being mistrustful of him, by revisiting the whole incident of Malchior.

They talked, argued, agreed to disagreed, almost fought hand-to-hand combat, until she finally broke down crying and poured her soul out. Garfield had comfort her before right after Malchior was destroyed, but apparently Raven was hurting a lot more then he had thought. And had they not been interrupted by Cyborg, she might have told Garfield more right then rather than later.

But Terra was different; Raven didn't have any real reason to bring her up now, other than to direct her jealousy away from Starfire to someone who was more deserving of it.

Raven looked down at Lydia, and tried to phrase her words carefully.

"Daddy was my friend at the time…but I didn't develop _those_ kinds of feelings until later." She said looking down at Lydia after she had stared into Garfield's eyes for some time. "No, I was not jealous." She quickly added. "But I can see why you would think that. Lydia, it's time for bed."

"But I want to know more? Were Uncle Robin and Aunt Stary going out then? Who's 'Slade'? Daddy, why do you still like Terra if Mama doesn't like her? Mama, why—"

"Lydia." Raven said in her stern voice. There was the mother Lydia had known. She stopped talking, hoping her questions would be answered later and with all the truth attached to it.

She was tucked into bed, with the knowledge that her mother did struggle with loving her all the time, and it wasn't something Raven took lightly with. She was visibly upset by this desire to love her, but couldn't love her fully because she was afraid of something. Afraid of what? Lydia forgot to ask that question, but for now she was satisfied with one answer she knew very well; that her mother did indeed love her, even when Raven wanted to love Lydia more, she _would_ if she _could_.

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it?" Garfield asked as he closed their door quietly and started walking in the hallway. Where would they go? No place particular. He saw her eyes were becoming vacant again. "Raven?"

"Hmm? What? Talk, I don't know—"

"Rae, something happened. What was all that about Terra?" He put his hand on her shoulder as they started strolling down.

"Seeing Bruce and Starfire together just reminded me the times that I wouldn't hold Lydia—"

"—But you did—"

"—But it still makes me think. And Starfire asked me if that upset me. She _asked_ me. And I panicked, not knowing what to say, I just teleported out of there. Whenever I am angry, I either think about Terra or my father. This time it was Terra. No big deal. I'll just meditate." She said, trying to walk faster than he was which meant his hand brushed off her shoulder.

"Rae…..I don't know how to react." He said, trying to keep up with her.

"React how you always react; you get upset that I would bring up Terra. And now Lydia knows. So, react to that too. I can't tell you how to feel." She said in her monotone.

"Rae, that's not what I mean. I mean….Rae stop walking!" He said, grabbing her arm and forcing her to look at him as she stood there. "Rae?" He pulled on her arm and forced her body to face him.

She turned her gaze away from him after a moment. When asking her directly wasn't helping him, he tried a different approach, by intertwining his right hand with hers, and holding onto her hip as he shifted his weight back and forth, trying to slowly waltz with her. This didn't affect her at first, but then he started to hum Moonlight Sonata and slowly forced her to move her hips with him. He rested his head on her shoulders, humming in her ear, trying to get her to come out of her world.

"I need to meditate, Garfield." She said in her monotone, while he tried to spin her around his arm.

"No, you need to dance." He whispered before he went back to humming his little tune, with her reluctantly following his slow movements. "To loosen up."

"I have had enough loosening up for one day."

"I disagree; you haven't loosened up at all in quite a while." He said, turning her slowly as they continued to waltz.

"I need to meditate." She just repeated, but allowed herself to be trapped in his arms.

"Tell me truthfully, Rae," He said, looking up to Raven, as she looked into his eyes. "Do you think if I had a shot with Terra that I would abandon you?"

She stopped moving along with him to the music inside her head, and stood there in silence.

"Rae? You're still not jealous of Terra, are you?" He asked, trying to phrase his words carefully. "I know you say you weren't at the time, but I think you were. You were jealous that she could _feel_, but you couldn't, because she made a big deal about not being able to control her powers. And you sometimes can't control your own, but you wouldn't act like how she acted. You had a suspicion of Terra, but nobody took your word seriously. Are you still jealous of Terra?"

Her silence confirmed his question and they both stood there in the empty hallway, not knowing what else to say over the matter. They had arguments over it, each person knew how the other felt, and it was one of those things that often made the whole 'opposites attract' relationship difficult. He held onto her one of her hand, looking at her pale complexion, and admiring its notable long finger tips.

"Rae, you know that I love—" He began.

"—I know." She said, completing his sentence. More silence fell upon them before she was the one to open up the conversation again. "I-I know how you feel about her, but I—"

"—I know." He said, completing _her_ sentence. This time he had the courage to look into her eyes again. "Starfire is a different person and she has a human child now. She will raise _her_ child, _her_ way. And it is no better or worse than how we raise Lydia. I hope you remember that."

This somehow did not cross her mind. It was just an overwhelming day for her. She had seen a baby, and was forced to relive scenes from her past that she did not wish to remember. So, Garfield bringing some simple easy words of encouragement eased her a bit. She smiled at his simple explanation. Now, _this_ was why she had married him; she needed this kind of reassuring, someone to calm her down when the world was giving her hell.

"And as for Terra…." He continued on, making her smile vanish. "I rather not talk about her, as it always ends up in an argument. But…."

"But?" She asked, looking into his eyes.

"But…if Terra were to ever to show up in our lives again, such as knocking on the door tomorrow, and asking me to take her back…" He said, looking up at the ceiling to try and find the right words, before he paused and then looked back down into her eyes. "I would say 'hell no', because I am in love with my best friend. And Terra is _not_ _even_ my friend. She's the past; you're the present and future."

Upon hearing these words, Raven almost suffocated him with the hug that she gave him. She hugged him so tightly that it almost hurt him, but it was comforting, because he just knew this was probably something that had been on her mind for a long time.

"Even after everything I have done to you?" She asked him in his ear, still keeping a firm grip on him.

"Rae, _because_ of everything you have done for me." He said, putting his arms around her. "I get upset about you talking about the Terra of the _past_. But she never did change. Not until the end. But she was my first love. But _you_. You were _and_ _are_ different."

"I'm afraid you hold me up to a pedestal too high for me to stand on. I'm not that special." She said, not letting go of him. This cause some of her energy to unleashed out into the open hallway, making lights flicker, and doors open and closed.

"And I'm afraid you don't hold yourself high _enough_. So, I guess it evens out?" He said jokingly. She grinned, and even though he couldn't see, he knew she was smiling. "We will talk about this later."

"No, we will not."

"We'll see."

* * *

"Titans, Plasmus has escaped! He's only a distraction from the robbery taking place at the Comic Book Convention down town!" Robin called out to the gang, two days later. The Logan's had barely ate breakfast, before Raven was forced to leave her seat and run over to the center of the room, as Cyborg joined her. Robin was up in front; ready to give out their assignments. "Raven, I've called Jinx to help us out, you two are going to stop Plasmus while Cyborg and I stop the robbery. Report to us as soon as you finish."

"Oh, man! Why did you get Jinx?" Cyborg complained, as he remembered their last fight they had a month ago.

"We're not fighting your relationship problems though. _That_ would be much harder to fight." Raven said in her monotone, making the other boys grin from the joke as Cyborg gave her a cold look.

"You're not even going to see Jinx, Cyborg. Not if each team can fight its own battles." Robin said, trying to maintain his leadership image. Cyborg merely gave Robin a crossed look, before the three of them sped off out into the hallway doors. Robin was the last one out, and he stop to look back at Starfire with a sad expression, who was standing by the kitchen table, before Raven put a hand on his shoulder, and they were both off.

"It seems quiet now." Starfire said after a few minutes passed by, as both families ate quietly. It was one of those rare moments that Bruce was sleeping quietly in her arms.

"Yes, you'll get used to it." Garfield said, as he flipped the pages of the newspaper, as Lydia was pouring more cereal in her bowl.

She was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt with a yellow flower in the middle. She was also wearing her red chakra affixed to her forehead, something she had a hard time getting used to, but was told now to wear it at all times in order to help control her emotions. Raven had attached it tightly to her skin, like it was a tattoo now. So, even if Lydia wanted to take it off, she couldn't. It irritated her at times, but overall, she had gotten used to it.

"What are you reading? Do you always read the 'news of the world' paper?" Starfire asked.

"No; I'm just reading the comics part. Rae reads it before I do, and she hands the funnies to me."

"Can I hold the baby?" Lydia asked the two adults from her seat.

"We'll see." Garfield said without so much as putting down the paper.

"But I want to hold the baby." She complained, going back to her cereal. She wasn't satisfied with his answer, but she wasn't in the mood to argue, at least just yet.

"So, Star, how are you enjoying being a mom?" Garfield asked, ignoring Lydia complaints. "Or is it too early to ask?"

"_When_ can I hold the baby?" Lydia interrupted. Correction, she _was_ in the mood to argue.

"Lydia, quiet, the adults are talking. I'll tell Mama." Garfield said to her.

"Mama says she doesn't like it when you talk down to me." She said.

"Don't talk back." He told her. She was getting smart for him, maybe _too_ smart. He went back to face Starfire. "So, how's it going?"

Starfire floated into the living room, rocking Bruce back and forth, while looking out into the city.

"It is a glorious experience! Just wonderful. Although…..well, never mind." She said, looking down at Bruce.

"Huh? What was that?" He asked with his rising, looking up from his paper. She ignored his question. "Star? What's wrong?"

"Well, it's nothing, really. I should not really complain because I have waited so long for a child." She started, looking back up, and turning around to face Garfield.

"Star?" He asked gently, as she wasn't Raven, so he couldn't get aggressive on her. She ignored him for a bit, only looking at him as if she was waiting for him to say more. "You know, Rae had many fears when she was pregnant, stuff you guys didn't know about, mostly because we were fighting with Robin at the time and didn't want to make things any more complicated. But we got through it; most importantly _she_ got through it despite the massive effect it had on her powers. She still has fears today, which I help her handle."

"That is generous of you Beast Boy, but that does not help me." She said innocently.

"Well, I don't know how I can help you when I don't _know_ about your situation." He said. "I was just going to say that Rae has her share of problems, so I've been there. Whatever it is, it probably something that I help with."

For a few seconds it seemed like Starfire was prepared to tell him everything that was troubling her, if anything was troubling her. She had that familiar expression on her face when she was about to confess something. However, Bruce started to whimper again, and she turned around to attend to him.

"It is nothing friend Beast Boy." She said softly. After she rocked Bruce back and forth, she decided to get a bottle in the kitchen, and when she saw Garfield, she forced herself to put a smile on her face. "Do not be alarm friend, for I am feeling wonderful! I have a child now. I should not feel….what's the saying, 'blue'." She cheerfully said.

He knew she was lying, but for now he dropped the conversation. Lydia finished her cereal.

"Can I hold the baby _now_?" Lydia asked, holding out the bowl to show him that she was finish eating.

IT MIGHT BE MORE THEN A WEEK FOR THE NEXT ONE, AS I TRY TO GET COMFORTABLE WITH MY SUMMER CLASSES, BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE. SO, I'LL SEE YA GUYS SOON.


	20. A Night to Forget About Their Troubles

OKAY, HERE IT IS.

At the end of the day, as the sun was about to set, the other's had all come home. The battle itself took a while, but it was Cyborg meeting up with Jinx and arguing with her that made the day even longer. And then they started to fight out on the streets. Raven and Robin were forced to stay behind and look over the damages of the city, as well as the damage of Cyborg's relationship.

All in all, it was not a good day for anybody.

Starfire was anxiously waiting for Robin, and kept calling him on the communicator every hour or so. Garfield saw that Starfire was physically upset about something. It was hard to be in this awkward position, as he couldn't say anything without her raising suspicion that he was inquiring her for information about her sad mood.

To keep himself occupied, he focused all his energy on Lydia as well as read a page or two of Raven's new reading assignments for him. This time it was a book he could at least try to get interested in, or at least pay attention, _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_. If he could be interested in that book, well then at least he would know what to read, for the next three years. Or more. If not, it was back to picking a book out by its cover. Literally.

Starfire was getting even more anxious by the end of the day before she heard Robin's footsteps, with Garfield relieved at the sight of him as well. However, instead of the usual hug Starfire would give out to her 'glorious' husband, as she was that type of person, she merely smiled and went to their own room, with Robin staying behind in the kitchen.

To the any eye, it seemed like an ordinary greeting, even though it was out of Starfire's normal routine and character. To Garfield, however, he knew different. Garfield was not only a witness to their 'cutesy' exchanges every single time they saw each other, but he had also spent the whole day with Starfire.

What was going on? Were they fighting? Were they _finally_ getting over the whole honeymoon phase after so many years of being married? They had only just got their little baby a week ago, and now Starfire was acting strange. They should be happy. Did it, by any chance, have something to do with Bruce? It seemed like Garfield was asking himself too many questions and for a problem that wasn't even his own. He had enough to worry about without getting caught in his friends' business.

By the time he was done thinking, because that took a lot out of him to do, he noticed Robin still hanging out by the kitchen, grabbing a soft drink, and staring out into space. Well, at least Garfield _thought_ he was staring, as the mask hid his eyes. Cyborg was starting a movie up on the DVD player, and Raven was sipping her cup of freshly brew tea while walking towards Garfield.

"So, how was today?" She asked in her soft tone. The battles of that day were probably great enough for her to release her emotions, but not enough to wear them out; the perfect combination, which made her even _more_ irresistible to him than before, because she could be tempted very easily to engage with him.

He looked up to her and smiled, giving her the answer she always wanted to hear when she came home. His smile implied that Lydia didn't get into trouble that day and he was happy to see her home.

"Mama, Uncle Cyborg is putting on _The Shining,_ can I watch it?" Lydia asked Raven anxiously, as she was told it was movie about a young boy who had the same kind of powers as herself. Raven gave Cyborg a cold look while his back was still turned. She looked down at Lydia.

"No, it's not a movie for you, it will scare you and you'll spend many nights wanting to sleep in our room." She said sternly, as she was prepared for yet another battle that apparently had been waiting for her at home.

"But Uncle Cy—"

"—Uncle Cyborg doesn't have any children, and he won't be the one to comfort you when you'll get scared." She said loud enough for him to hear. He turned around and gave her a guilty smile as he cautiously backed up.

"Your mother's right, Lyds, it _is_ a scary movie. I should've asked Rae first." Cyborg addressed Lydia, trying to get back on Raven's good side. "I'll put on a different movie if it's too much of a problem. Robin, what do you want to watch?" He asked the Boy Wonder, looking over to him in the kitchen.

Robin had taken out another soda, a bit of an unwise choice seeing as it was dark and he would be up all night with that much caffeine. At first he didn't hear Cyborg.

"Earth to Robin!" Cyborg shouted, making Robin looked up. "Movie? Any particular preference?"

"I'm not in the mood to watch a movie." He said, before taking a sip of his soda. "I'm going to the gym." He finished off his soda, crushing it with his hands, before wondering off into the hallway to go the training room.

"So, he's out. What about—" Cyborg started.

"Nothing over PG." Raven interrupted him, as she glared at him.

"Loony tune cartoons." He said. She gave him a nod, giving her small approval.

* * *

"Something is wrong with Starfire and Robin." Garfield said that night in their room. He was ready for bed, watching her undress herself and putting on her pajamas. Before she slid down her leotard, she glared at Garfield, who was only wearing his loose sweatpants. She noticed his ads for a millisecond, before looking up.

"You want to look away?" She said asked.

"Why? I put a ring on it." He said teasingly. She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help smiling when she did so. She turned around and slid down her leotard. "Why are you being so shy?"

"You know my emotions are vulnerable right now." She said as he raised his eyebrow.

"They are, are they?" He asked, moving across the bed, as the issue of Starfire and Robin were now the last thing on his mind. "_(Growl)_, come to bed."

"I _am_ coming to bed." She said, as she was about to put her purple pajamas on.

"No. Come to bed, as you _are_." He said suggestively.

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, she thought of his hard abs rocking back and forth on her own. How that sounded nice to her at the moment, but she felt she didn't deserve it for bringing up Terra to their daughter a day ago.

"You're still not upset because of what happened yesterday….are you?" He asked, as if he was able to read _her_ thoughts all of sudden. "Because you usually you would take me up on that offer when you are vulnerable. You're still not thinking…." She turned her head to look at him, before she blushed again, and turned away.

"No." She lied. She resumed putting her pajamas back on, and staring at the dresser as she waited for her lover to look away once more. Garfield sat on the edge of the bed, and put his hand over his face.

"Rae, don't…." He tried to say, but he couldn't quite finish his sentence.

He tried to think of something, anything, that would not only instantly get her in the mood, but also wash away all her regret about yesterday. He certainly _wasn't_ thinking about Terra at this moment, as her blond hair wasn't an attracted thing for him anymore, but he knew Rae still was. And he knew she shouldn't be thinking about _anything_ when they meditated together, or something might happen.

He smiled, thinking he had had something. "We haven't finished our discussion on the themes of _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_."

She turned around out of interest. "But that was _my_ book. And it wasn't exactly a book to have a serious discussion on." She said in her monotone.

"But, ah, I disagree." He exclaimed with excitement. "I think I had read enough with you to consider it _my_ book as well. And I think there are serious discussions needed to be…..discussed." He said suggestively. She raised her eyebrows.

"Really? It's just _Pride and Prejudice_, but with zombies. I think that's all there needs to be said." She said.

"And I think the zombies are supposed to be an interesting symbol about….corruption." He said, trying to find any word that would make him sound intelligent.

"Symbolism? Hardly. It's a book to laugh at; not to dissect." She said. He stood up and began to walk over to her.

"But it seems that the zombies served as a plot point to have Darcy attracted to Lizzy for a reason. She could fight those zombies off like no other girl he knew could." He said.

"But it is a remake of an old book. In the original, you know perfectly well that he was attracted to her because she was rebel in her time, but still tame enough not to drive him away." She said, as she just realized that moment that Garfield was a few inches away from her face. "If the zombies are any kind of symbolism, they are not corruption. They are a plot point. But a useless one at that."

Garfield smiled at her neutral expression. "I disagree." Her face softened, and her cheeks turned pink, as she looked into his eyes.

She wasn't thinking about Terra. She wasn't thinking about yesterday. She wasn't even interested about the subject of Robin and Starfire, something that Garfield said that had intrigued her before she told him to look away. She just looked into her lover's eyes and her mind became blank.

"Now, come to bed, and _persuade_ me to see your side of things." He said, adding empathizes on the word persuade as if it was a code word for something else. He grabbed her hand, which was reluctant at first to be grabbed.

Keeping his gaze on her, he gently kissed her hand. She blushed a little more, but was able to keep her emotions still intact. Noticing that she was beginning to loosen up, he bent down, and grabbed one of her legs. He pushed the pajama fabric back, and he gently kissed heel. She only smiled at this.

He looked up to her with that naughty expression in his face, and gently kissed her knee. Then he grabbed her lower thigh, and gave a much more aggressive kiss. Still clutching her, he moved up to upper thigh, and once again began to kiss it violently. He then moved his hand up higher, almost touching her butt cheeks.

"You wouldn't." She said, as she almost squealed once he had reached that part. He looked up to her with his expression once again.

"I _would_. I _did_ put a ring on it." He said, before he squeezed one of her butt cheeks and spanked the other one. The spank forced her to sprint a few steps, with his grip slipping away. She bent over to the side of the bed, and breathed heavily.

"I'm not a harlot." She said, grabbing her chest, as the thrill of being spank was too much for her. He smiled and stood up.

"But you are. You're _my_ harlot." He said, raising his eyebrow. She was beginning to feel that familiar sensation. Looking up to him she smiled. She stood up and walked over to him. She grabbed his muscular arms.

"And if I'm your harlot, what would that make you?" She said. She stroked his stunning abs, before pressing her lips up against his.

"The King." Garfield said smirking as soon as she broke off. She rolled her eyes, and put her arms around his neck.

"King of what? Animals?" She said before pressing her lips again.

"King of a faraway place you never heard of." He whispered.

"But I know everything there is to know about Earth. I can speak six languages and have traveled farther then you will ever know. How come I have never heard of this land?" She asked in a rather taunting voice, as she was trying to poke holes in a fictional story she already knew wasn't real.

"We are a very poor country with no use or connection to the rest of the world." He said, before he was the one to firmly press his lips onto hers.

"If you are poor, how can you afford a harlot?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It is _because_ I only buy you that my country is poor." He said. She was impressed with his comeback.

"Why do you buy me so often if your country is poor?"

"Because I am in love with you, and buying you is the only way you can come back to me." He said as he lifted up her top and threw it on the floor.

"If you're so in love with me, make me your Queen then." She said, pulling him to the edge of the bed still wrapped around his neck. As soon as she sat down, he hovered over her, as their warm bare chests met. He looked into her eyes.

"I will." He said, before breaking the embrace as he darted to the bathroom. She laid there in bliss, as she waited for him to come back.

He sure knew how to strike when her defenses were down. But he was Beast Boy; he knew how to strike her when her defenses _weren't_ down. She wondered if he had always felt this physical attraction to her before they dated. Of course, she would have known at the time, but she didn't always probe his mind for information back then. Now, it seemed second nature, but back then, who knows what he was thinking.

He was _definitely_ the aggressive type when it came to their meditation, or him flirting with her in general. Before, he was gentle, because he knew she was a scared little virgin. But now, he wasn't afraid to hit on her when the rest of the team was in front of them. Something he could have not done six years ago. How could he stay and feel this way about her for long? Maybe it was some animal nature. One of her main reasons why she let down his _first_ (Out of many) proposal was that she thought he wouldn't be as interested in her if they were some old married couple. At least that was the reason she gave him. He knew differently though, only because he _had_ been listening to her (Despite what she thought) about her not liking the idea of marriage.

As he matured, that is barely over the years, had he also matured his animalistic nature, perfecting it to excite her even more? Or had he been reading too many of his romance novels? Was there such a thing as _Garfield_ reading _too_ much? The more she thought about it, the more she wondered how much of his aggressive behavior was for her, and how much of it was for him. He did after all have animal genes in his DNA.

Had Lydia been more of a trophy, rather than a legitimate daughter, only to show the world that he was able to conquer the Great Emo of the group, the most stubborn woman he had ever met? And was able to not only love her, but also have her love _him_ back? Was she thinking about it too much? Possibly. After all, he was _still_ Beast Boy; he _wasn't_ that deep. And at the center of it all, he was foolishly in love with her. And she was more _cautiously_ in love with him; so cautious that he might have become more aggressive only to make up for what she couldn't do. Yeah, that made more sense to her.

Before she had any more time to ponder why he had started becoming _too_ comfortable with their sexual life, after he had been afraid of even mentioning anything in front of the others, the bathroom door open.

Garfield was standing there; trying to act like Raven wasn't exciting him that much, trying to maintain a cool composure. However, she knew better and used her black energy to drag him across the room, standing over her, all while not budging from her spot.

"You got to warn me when you're going to do that." He said, trying to balance himself.

She sat up on the bed and removed his unwanted sweatpants with her black energy, revealing his loose boxer. Without saying anything, he pressed his lips on her one side of her neck, as he embraced her. He grabbed her by her legs and upper body, and tossed her up further to the head of the bed. As soon as she landed, he held a firm grip on her pajama bottoms. He started to brush his lips above her navel, and as he began to make his way down to her right leg, he slid down her bottoms and underwear at the same time.

He kissed her upper thigh, and slid the bottoms down further. He kissed her knee and legs, and slid the bottoms down further. He repeated this routine, until the clothing was off her body and all he had left was her lone foot, dangling in front of him. He had always been a leg man, he didn't know why; it was just something he had always been attracted to. Maybe he wasn't a leg man, and he just liked _Raven's_ legs a little too much. Possibly. She was, after all, Raven, the girl who had large thighs with strong athletic curbs. He thought that any man could be attracted to those legs, well those legs minus the gray skin color. He grabbed her lone foot, and tried to massage it gently, despite his violent state of mind.

Raven's cheeks colored a little, as she didn't like to see herself nude. The lights were still on in their room, and she could see every single detail that he could. It was okay if he could, but she rather not be bothered. She turned her head to the side, looking at a bookcase that consisted of her old Azarath books, classical Earth books, and some of Garfield's teen novels. He noticed her timid expression.

"Raven, you're beautiful. You shouldn't be embarrass. How many years have been married or together in general?" He asked her.

"I forget." She said, trying to pretend that she couldn't feel the gentle breeze sweeping up between her legs. For her, the room became colder, but his warm skin was making up for it.

He put down her foot, but kept his fingers grazed upon her skin. Slowly he traced his fingers across the side of her ankle, up to her leg, and then her thighs while crawling further up to her at the same time. He kept his eye on her different bumps and features her curves would make, and it wasn't until he reached her navel that she looked back down at hard not to smile, as she was still in her comfortable neutral state of mind, she admired his strong fingers grazing her body.

Only _he_ would find something so evil, as her Demonic skin color, a positive attribute to overall looks. If she were only a human color, any normal skin color, could she at least look in the mirror without feeling some sort of shame. She admired him for being so comfortable in his own skin, his own _green_ skin. And he _used_ to have a normal human skin color too. He even was comfortable enough with his own hair not to dye it a different color. He was proud of his green body, and she wasn't proud of her own.

Who would have thought that the two most alien-looking people would end up together? Sure, Starfire was an actual alien, but she at least look somewhat normal just enough to blend in with the crowd. It was, after all, California, so people could just assume she had got a bad tan before realizing it was actually the Titan Starfire. Cyborg also was comfortable enough just walking around, because at least people liked robots, as Garfield had once said. People _knew_ who Raven or Garfield were when they walked into a crowd, because they were so different, so odd looking.

Raven somewhat envy him because of confidence. A few people could think just think Raven was some Goth girl trying _way_ too hard to be Goth, before realizing that she was the Demonic Titan; it wasn't the same case with him. He was _green_; there was no escaping that. People from around the world would figure Garfield was the alien, instead of actually a human, before they would ever think that Starfire was the alien just because he was green.

"I really don't understand it." He said, while observing her define abs. "You have the body of athlete, but since you rely more on your powers then physicality, you can still put some fat on your thighs, hips, and…..other places. I find that _extremely_ attractive. And I should know. I'm the one who _waited_ forever to see this fine body."

"So, what, you're relishing the lost moments you didn't have by over analyzing every single feature?" She asked. He gave her a blank stare. She sometimes would forget that he was still Beast Boy despite how much he had grown. The sentence just went over his head. "What I mean is that, since you waited so long, and since you put me up on that pedestal _once_ again, you expect me to be perfect. So whatever I have that is small, tone, large, oddly shaped, you would still find it attractive because now you can stare at it all you want."

He rested his head down just a little above her stomach, with her breast getting caught in his hair. He caressed his hands up and down on the corners of her abdomen. She brushed his hair back a bit with him looking up to her. She was right, and he knew all too well. Maybe he was being a little slave boy and once again indulging in every single detail Raven ever did. But he _loved_ it when Raven would remind him that she wasn't this angel, because to him that is what an angel would say, so it was an endless cycle.

"I'm the one who's _green_. I used to be blond, with blue eyes." He said.

"I rather be green, then be this." She said, motioning her hand over her whole body. At first he was a little confused, but when he looked into her helpless wondering eyes, he then understood what she meant.

"Hey," He said gently as he continued to caress her. She looked at him. "You know perfectly well by now that it is not where you were born or what you were destined to do that makes you who you are. It's your actions. And as cheesy as this sounds, I think the Heavens have a spot for you as an angel. Whatever Azarath Heaven is like."

He moved his head up to her face, dragging his warm body with him. She could start to feel something else that was _very_ familiar with her. They stared at each other for quite some time before Rae lowered his boxers with her black energy and threw them off to the side of the bed. She allowed her face to soften, but wouldn't smile.

He brush a piece of hair out of her face before he nodded to her that he was about to begin. She nodded back and proceeded to close her eyes and rest her hands on his shoulder. And as soon as she said the word, "Azarath…." Did he begin to lower down onto her and slowly move up and down.

After a few short minutes when she started to chant, she could not only feel all the negative energy in the room vanishing, but a strong positive energy building up. He could tell from her eyelashes shifting a bit, that she wanted to open her eyes and look into his eyes, but she knew she had to keep them close. She was beginning to grip on his shoulders a little tighter as the first warm up was coming to a close. Her breathing was calm, but it was beginning to speed up. She exhaled more hard then when she inhaled, making her abdomen bulge up high, and he took advantage of this as her supple breast would be high enough for him to kiss the limbering sides.

When he wasn't busy soaking up her soft yet brawny skin, he was concentrating on the rhythm. He was in charge of starting the rhythm, while she was busy trying to find her center before she would join in. It wasn't fair for one person just to lie there while the other was busy doing all the work, she had told him one time before, but he wouldn't hear of it.

"_But you have to concentrate." He had said._

"_I know, but what if I start it, and then try to find my center—" She had said._

"_And one half of the Tower would explode. No, Rae, I need to start it." He had said. She then looked down._

"_I know." She had said sadly. She had tried to lie to herself and possibility trick Garfield with her lie by thinking she could do things differently in their routine. But she knew it was dangerous, and dammit, he knew it was dangerous too, and it was one of those times where he had to think about her powers first and pleasure second._

That was a long time ago that she had suggested it, a time when she was thinking nothing but her Lust. A mere side effect she had from experiencing sex and letting him know that she did indeed like it.

"Azarath, ME-trion, zinthos…" She chanted, with the odd pitch in her voice when she said 'metrion' excited him.

He was gaining some speed, and when she was stable enough in her thoughts, did she begin to respond to his body. Her mind was away from the world, thinking of nothing, but an empty void filled with stars. To her, the stars would shine brighter when he would move in a particular position. Unbeknownst to her, all the books in the room gently lifted off of their shelves and bounced quietly in the air.

Her feet trembled a bit, but he didn't let that distract him. As he was moving deeper into her body, she was trying to push herself forward, mimicking each moment he made. If he went up, she went up with him, but tried to keep her own body steady from falling back.

She inched her hands to wrap around his neck, but she could barely hang on as the sweat was causing her hands to sink back down. She kept readjusting her hands so she wouldn't fall off, but evidently grabbed a lock of his clammy hair to steady herself. She pushed herself closer to him. He grunted as there was some pain to her grabbing his hair, but he let it go after a few seconds, when it became apparent he the ride was getting much more enjoyable.

"Azarath…..MENTRION…ZIN-thos…."

Biting her lip before she started to chant again, she pushed her body forward in order to try and sit up, but he just lightly pushed her back down with his sweating hand. He wouldn't allow her to sit up, not yet at least, it was too soon. While she was a little peeved by this, she didn't break out of her concentration. She thought that Garfield shouldn't interrupt her body when it did something. This form of meditation didn't require much thinking; it just required concentration on her part and allowing her body to do its work. And Garfield almost disrupted her concentration. But she said her mantra again, making her forget her mild irritation.

"AZA-rath….me-TRION…..ZIN-thos….." She continued. Since he was off the team, he kind of let himself go, but just a little bit. Maybe he wanted to feel empowered, so even though they were on equal terms, he took that power to the bedroom. Whatever it was, she didn't want to think about it now.

His body was becoming dense with sweat the faster he went and as he put his one hand on her chest, just to feel her skin, and the other on the headboard to keep him steady, she no longer thought about his power control. Hanging onto his hair by a molecule, she thought that if he wanted to take control because he knew how to please her, by all means, he should enlighten her on what she was doing wrong. Who was she to get in the way of a good _meditating_ experience? Like she had known, she wasn't supposed to think ahead, she was just to respond to her bodily needs. And even though she wanted to sit before, she now _felt_ the reason why he had pushed her back down.

As she let one of her 'zinthos' to hang in the air, she opened her mouth, becoming dehydrated in the process. She lifted her head back up, and was on the verge of screaming, before she put an 'Azarath' in its place, pulling his hair even harder.

When she lifted her head up, he could almost hear her trying to scream something, before she replaced her words with 'Azarath', and wrapped his one hand that was on her chest around her back, helping her up. He could feel her legs struggling to escape, but she tried to keep them steady, her feet beginning to cringe and twist in their place.

He allowed his nails to grow in their animal form, creating claw marks on her back, but it was more of an animal instinct to maintain control and want more of her, then it was to physically hurt her. But she didn't mind the pain, just as he didn't mind his hair being pulled. At this point the books began to circle around them, faster and faster, trying to keep up with Garfield. It created a breeze for them both, but they barely noticed it as they were both too hot to even be cooled off by a light draft.

She propped her head closer to his neck, allowing him to gently kiss the tender yet wet skin he had close to his mouth. His lips became messy with the mixture of his drool and her sweat combined, but he didn't mind the mild flavor it gave him when he tried to swallow what little spit he had from his dehydration.

"Aza…..RATH…..me….." He was losing her. She had the words on the tip of her tongue, but when she tried to say them, the overwhelming pressure she was feeling prevented her from communicating those words.

"Metrion…come on…..SAY IT WITH-with me….." He said as he moved his other hand that was on the headboard on the sheets directly behind her, as he was moving backward slightly.

Coming back to Earth, she finished her mantra, and just before she was going to say it again after she caught some breathing, she moved forward with him, allowing her to sit up. She was once again equal to him, as he had denied her earlier.

Finding their rhythm, with him grabbing her back with his other hand that was supporting them, they once again sped up their movements. She wasn't saying anything anymore, the quiet grunting was okay with him at the moment, as her mouth was filled with drool and too dry to say anything.

He had quenched Lust's thirst. A dry mouth was a small price to pay for that achievement.

As he responded back to her body once more, she let out a "ZINTHOS!" as she open her tightly knitted eyes, staring up into the blank ceiling.

At the instant, all of their books fell to the floor, scattering about their room, as all feeling in her body became numb. She closed her eyes and almost fell back to the bed as if she was dead, had he not had caught her. Getting a hold on her, he gently placed her down on the pillows, so as not to bang her head accidently. He laid by her side in silence, before he got up to unearth the covers that she was laying on top of and draping it over her.

He got into the covers and again laid there by her side. He was breathing heavily, but she was having a harder time getting her breathing controlled. Having her eyes closed, he looked at her.

"Rae?" He asked, wondering if it was all too much for her. She couldn't respond verbally, but put her hand up in the air and tried to grab onto his. He grabbed her hand and stroked it, hoping something wasn't wrong with her.

She began to slow her breathing down a bit. A few minutes later, she was well reserve enough to open her eyes. She held his hand tightly, looking upon his abs before moving her eyes up to his face.

"Rae?" He asked, squeezing her hand tighter in return.

"Am I…..your Queen now…..oh foreign one?" She asked in a jokingly manner, as she was still trying to catch her breath. He smiled, praising whatever spiritual entity that was listening to him that she was fine. He kissed her hand.

"Forget Queen, you're the Supreme Empress of my kingdom." He said as he stared at her before they both became drowsy and fell asleep with their hands intertwining with each other.

IRONICALLY I HAVE LESS TIME IN THIS SUMMER TO WRITE ONLY BECAUSE I AM AT SCHOOL ALMOST EVERY SINGLE SAY, AND WHEN I AM NOT AT SCHOOL, I'M AT WORK. SO I'M NOT GOING TO PROMISE ONE EXACTLY IN ONE WEEK, BUT AROUND THE FOLLOWING TWO WEEKS.


	21. Cleaning Up After Messes

OY, I'M TIRED, WORK, SCHOOL, SCHOOL, WORK. IT'S A NEVER ENDING CYCLE. ANYWAY, ENJOY.

The next day, Garfield had woken up early, at six o'clock no less, to see what damage had taken place during the night. After he had scanned their room real quick to see the scattered books about the floor, he looked down to his gray companion, who was quietly sleeping on her side, facing him. The blankets covered her up, and he could only see her bare shoulders and arms. Her hair was frizzy and she had one lock of hair that was draped over her face. Occasionally she would let her mouth open, allowing a snore or two to escaped.

Garfield thought that maybe she was having a happy dream even though none of her powers were unleashed. Maybe she didn't have to worry about feeling too much to enjoy a dream. However, it was only a theory that Garfield had come up with, that she could escape her powers from such a scheme. He couldn't prove it true, but looking down at her, who looked peaceful, he thought it was so.

He got up and scanned the room even further. Their room was okay, except for the books that were scattered around the floor. He figured she could clean that up, since she liked to arrange the books in alphabetical order. He checked up on the rest of rooms.

* * *

Lydia's room was fine, Robin's old room was left untouched, and the main room's were cleared. Just as he was about to make himself some breakfast to congratulated himself on an excellent night, he discovered all the plates and mugs in the kitchen were broken, shattered into a million of pieces when he opened the kitchen cabinet drawers, spilling onto the countertops. He sighed.

"It never ends." He said to himself, before he grabbed the broom and dustpan and started cleaning up the giant mess in the kitchen. "Of course, I don't _wish_ it to end."

He _wanted_ to be a little irritated that he had to clean up such a mess, because it also required him to run to the store and get more supplies, but he was pleased with himself instead, thinking he must have done something _amazing_ if she did indeed leave such a mess behind. She could control her powers better during the course of their meditation then years before, but if _something_ would catch her by surprise in the moment, she would take it out on the Tower.

He was hoping that Robin would wake up soon to help him clean up the mess, as he was usually the first one up. But he wasn't this morning. Nor was Starfire. Odd. Oh, well, he had his own family to think about first, and getting all the sharp shards of ceramic off the counter, floor and out of the cabinets was his first priority.

He turned the television on to his early morning cartoons to listen as he cleaned up, as it took him around two hours to get everything at least looking like it was normal again. Well, normal _minus_ the missing plates and mugs. For now, he made a quick errand to the nearest gas station to get paper cups and paper plates as he figured it would be a better shopping trip for Starfire to get them new ceramic plates and mugs.

"So, what happened to the plates again?" Cyborg asked Garfield when he was told of the situation two hours later after Garfield had woken up. Cyborg didn't even think the paper plates could hold the large amounts of fatty food he would cook and he wanted an explanation as to why he was reduced to such circumstances.

"They were leaning up against the cabinet and they all fell when I opened it." Garfield lied as he was trying to get some hours on the Gamestation before Lydia would wake up. Cyborg started the stove, letting it heat up before preparing breakfast for the entire team.

"Uh-huh." Cyborg said, doubtful of his story. "So, _all_ of our plates broke because they were _all_ leaning up against the door? Even our back-up ones in the _back_ of the cabinet?"

"I…dropped those. I had slippery hands." He said.

"And our mugs?"

"Again, slippery hands."

"_All_ of our mugs?"

"I don't think you understand the seriousness of my slippery hands. I have very poor motor skills."

"Beast Boy!"

"_(Sigh)_ Do you _really_ want the truth?" Garfield asked, pausing his game and looking over to him.

"If it requires you to lie this much, I don't think I _want_ to know. I'll let you get in trouble with Robin on your own."

"I'm sure he won't want to know either." He said, still glancing at his half-robotic friend. "Speaking of which, have you seen him?"

"No, man. I think something is going on between him and Starfire. I heard them having a fight last night as I passed their room. You would think they would be more annoying than ever instead, because they have Bruce."

"I know, right? Starfire was a little out of it yesterday. It was a little uncomfortable because she didn't want to talk about it. She would try to pretend nothing was going on, but she hid it so badly." Garfield said.

"Well, you know Robin; he always wants to be in our business, but…."

"…..but he'll never let us get into his business. Right." Garfield finished for him. "Yeah, I know." He smiled, knowing that he wasn't the only one who felt this way, Cyborg smiled back.

"So…." Cyborg said, cracking a dozen eggs in a bowl, and slowly putting them on the hot pan. Garfield went back to his game. "How did the plates and mugs break again?" Garfield groaned.

"I thought you didn't _want_ to know."

"Well, I lied…..and I don't think Robin would want to deal with you getting into trouble while he is fighting with Starfire. You better tell me." Cyborg said condescendingly.

"I better not."

"Why?"

"Because." He said, trying to pretend Cyborg was Lydia and he didn't want to talk about something in detailed.

"Because why? You might as well tell me. What do you have to hide? How did you break them?"

"_I_ broke them." A familiar monotone voice spoke out. Cyborg swung his head to the entrance of the hallway. Garfield didn't even budge from his seat. He continued to play his game, smirking to himself. There stood the Supreme Empress of Garfield's kingdom or as she was better known to everyone else, Raven. She was dressed in her uniform, with her hood up, ready to take on the day. With meditation the first priority, of course.

"_You_ broke them?" Cyborg asked, confused as to what she meant by that. "Okay. That I can understand. But why was BB covering for you?"She ignored his comment and walked to the kitchen to start brewing her tea. "Hellooooo, Earth to Raven?"

Again, she ignored his comment. As she was waiting for her tea, she walked over to Garfield and sat close to him. Before Cyborg was about to say anything else, looking for answers, Raven put down her hood. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders, as she rested her head on one side of his shoulder. She put her feet up on the couch and allowed them to rest on the side. Garfield welcomed her shoulder and leaned closer to her.

Cyborg was observing them quietly, switching his attention from his eggs, back to them. He thought he was in the _Twilight Zone_ or something. Garfield would at times display his affection for Raven in front of Cyborg, but Rae rarely ever did so herself. He would only see her smile. In fact the only time he probably ever saw her kiss Garfield was on their wedding day, and maybe once or twice during her pregnancy. But that was her hormones taking over, this just happened out of nowhere.

Rae knew what she was doing; of course she wouldn't normally show affection to Garfield in front of the other Titans, but Garfield had cleaned up many of her messes after a night with him one too many times and she wanted to repay him back. This was _one_ way; to make Cyborg squirm.

When her tea was ready, she used her black energy to retrieve it and brought it over to her one free hand. She was watching Garfield play his little game, one of those shooting games where he was playing as a hero who had a bad past, and was trying to redeem himself by killing criminals. He liked her warm head resting on him, it gave him the confidence to play better and it made him want to do more challenging stunts to impress her.

"Uhhhhhhh…..Rae? Are you feeling alright?" Cyborg asked, wiping off the kitchen counter from the mess he was making, just as he was finished with the eggs. He made his way over to the kitchen grill to cook pancakes and bacon.

Raven looked over to him as if he had insulted her and said in her monotone, "The best." in her sarcastic manner. "Why?" She said, just as she was twirling a lock of Garfield's hair in her hand.

"You ain't this all touchy-feely normally. You're acting like…..you're acting like Robin and Starfire. Not really you." He said, flipping over about a dozen stacked of pancakes on the grill and waiting for the bacon to start popping with grease. "I mean, did you lose a bet where you had to put your arm around him in front of people, or act like a love sick child?"

Raven didn't even want to bother to try and argue with Cyborg about that. Cyborg was used to Robin and Starfire professing their love every goddamn day. They were _all_ used to it. However, at the same time Cyborg appreciated that Rae and Garfield were able to keep their flirtations to themselves, well at least Rae was. And all Cyborg had to watch was Garfield trying to impress her, or both of them bickering back and forth, which was fun for Cyborg to watch off to the side.

However, if Raven could, she _would_ be just as affectionate as Robin and Starfire. But she wasn't them. She was Raven. And even though she liked to consider her and Garfield's relationship a little more mature, since they were realistic in their expectations, at least most of the time, she sometimes wished she could have Starfire's spirit or Robin's romantic touch. But she didn't. And only on cue when her Lust was acting would she be able to do so. Garfield, on the other hand, had been a romantic player from the moment he was able to learn how to talk.

She kept her glare on Cyborg, annoyed that he wouldn't take the smallest hint that something did _indeed_ happen last night, without _actually_ telling him. If only she was the bragging type. Garfield _was_ the bragging type, but he knew when to shut up. She was getting a little irritated, but turned her glance over to Garfield, which helped soften her mood.

"Where's Starfire or Robin?" She asked, looking at the little details he had on the side of his face. "You said something last night about them having problems?"

"Oh, yeah. I don't know what's going on. Cyborg said he heard them fighting last night. Starfire was really out of it yesterday. And Robin acted so annoyed and dazed out when he came home."

"Yes, I noticed that too. But…" She said still playing with his lock of hair. "I didn't wish to get into their affairs at that moment."

"What do you think it is?" He asked, hoping she had read their minds or did some other trick to know what they were fighting about, or even if they were fighting.

"Whatever it is, it is between them." She said, not taking her eyes off his. She tried to find the interesting patterns that his green iris would make. It wasn't just green, it had a tint of brown, yellow, and black colors in the center if one were to look close enough and it would fade out to the beautiful green color that was visible for the rest of the world. He paused his game.

"You're in a good mood this morning." He said, looking into her violet eyes. He sometimes debated if it was violet or if it was lavender. He couldn't tell the difference between the two colors. In the right light, it looked like a deep dark blue color.

"I had a good night." She said in her soft tone, trying to hide her smile.

"Oh, I _know_." He said, looking over back to the kitchen to nod over to the mess he had to clean up that morning.

"It was an accident." She said, knowing very well that she had caused the destruction that she had heard Cyborg and Garfield arguing as she walked into the room. Her cheeks colored a bit. "Well, Starfire can get new plates. It will give her something to do, to get her mind off of Robin."

"Seriously, what is wrong with you guys? Did you like switch bodies with Robin and Starfire?" Cyborg shouted from the kitchen. They ignored his question.

"So, you're very relaxed today, are you?" He asked, eyeing her hand wrapped around his shoulder. "I mean you're being all 'cutesy' in front of company."

"Well, yes. But I wanted to get Cyborg off your case. You shouldn't _always_ have to make excuses on my behalf. I can take care of myself."

"I know," He said, lifting her chin up with one of his hands. "But I am trying to uphold your honor."

"My honor?" She said in her familiar tone, pushing his hand off her chin. "What, do we live in the seventeenth century? Are you going to duel one of the boys if they look at me the wrong way?"

"You know what I mean. Don't make me explain it." He said, still looking into her eyes.

"I know. You like being romantic. Sometimes it gets on my nerves. _Only_ sometimes." She said giving him a quick smile before allowing it to disappear into her usual neutral expression.

"Is Cyborg looking at us?" He said, tracing his fingers along the outline of her hairline.

"No." She said, knowing what his intentions were. She pulled another locket of his hair back, as he was getting comfortable in her arms. Cyborg turned his gazed back over to them, wondering what exactly they were talking about. He almost thought that she possibly could be pregnant again, and the two were keeping it a secret for the moment. How Raven would have laughed if she heard him thinking that. "He's looking." She said, noticing Cyborg's glare.

Garfield leaned his head into the space between them, but it was Raven who moved slightly to touch her lips with his own. It wasn't the most passionate kiss anyone had ever seen, it wasn't even the greatest kiss he would give her _that_ day, but it was enough to make Cyborg jumped in his place. After a good five seconds, they broke off, and Cyborg's spatula melted in his hands.

"Hey!" He shouted out to them. He smeared the damaged utensil off his hand with his towel. Garfield was content with himself, and went back to his game, while Raven gave Cyborg a sore glare. "Okay, now seriously!"

"As I said, _I_ broke the plates and mugs. And I am feeling quite fine, thank you. I did not lose any bets as you have suggested." She said, as she once again stroked Garfield's hair. Cyborg was starting to get somewhat of an idea as to why Garfield wanted to keep the broken kitchen ware a secret. "I just had a _really_ good night with my husband. That is all. And if you speak further on the subject, I will melt _more_ than your spatula."

Cyborg moved his eyes away from them, and proceeded to spend the rest of the time working on breakfast. He didn't know what scared him more, Raven's warning or them kissing without cause? He didn't know what the lesser evil of the two were, as they both seemed to give him the shivers the more he thought about it.

Raven went back to watching Garfield play his game, and proceeded to remain by his side the rest of the morning, before Lydia would wake up. An hour later, just as all the food Cyborg had prepared was done, Starfire walked into the room, with Bruce glued to her arms. Robin came walking in thirty minutes later.

Neither of them talked to each other in loving respects, only existing with each other through mutual dialogue about Bruce's eating and sleeping habits, before Robin joined Cyborg in his discussions about the latest music, and Starfire went to watch Garfield play his game.

Nobody acknowledged the tension between them.

"Friend Raven, why are you embraced deeply into friend Beast Boy's arms? Are you cold?" Starfire asked as she just noticed the empathy lounging onto her green companion. Starfire wasn't used to seeing her strange friend expressing her affection as so without cause. She would have thought nothing of it if Raven wasn't the one, but it _was_ Raven.

"Cyborg, what happened to all our plates?" Robin asked in the background, opening and closing the cabinet doors. "For that matter, what happen to our cups?"

Cyborg looked at the back of Raven's head, and she could feel his stare. She turned around and gave him a cold glare. Cyborg looked away and pretended to play with his breakfast.

"Uh…I was trying to balance them all with my hands, because I was running behind with breakfast. I also thought I could do it. But I tripped. BB helped me clean it up, and then he went to grab paper plates and cups for today at least." He responded. Raven turned her attention to Starfire.

"Yes, Starfire, I am cold. Garfield has a high body temperature." Raven said in her monotone voice, her eyes unshaken by her blatant lie. Well, it wasn't _totally_ blatant; Garfield was warm to her. She just had to hope that Robin believed Cyborg's story and wouldn't resort to looking at the security tapes.

It was twenty minutes later before Lydia strolled into the living room with her yellow footed pajamas, equipped with her blanket and ratty hair. Garfield was forced to stop his game at the moment to assist Lydia getting dressed, and Rae was only sorry that he had to get up and walk away in order to do so, leaving her to sit alone on the couch. She was calm enough, but she returned to her normal self by the afternoon, at least in public.

* * *

It was a week later, when the Logan's were getting ready for bed. Lydia was in her multi-color room, with Garfield reading to her as she tried to fall asleep.

Lydia was getting older and therefore getting somewhat wiser about her powers each day. It only seemed appropriate to tell Lydia what exactly she was capable of, the whole story and not just the sugar coating versions she was used to hearing. She only knew how to use her telepathy and a little of her telekinesis, but nothing more. She was told in time she could do more, with a little studying that is. Since she only knew a fraction of her powers, she tried to master the few abilities she had. And she was getting better at it.

"… 'And Dorothy of Kansas kicked the Good Witch of the North in her legs because the Good Witch had en-en…..en-dan-ger-ed, endangered Dorothy by putting on the red shoes that was ripped from the cold, dead feet of the Wicked Witch of the East.'" He read to her. "And the Wicked Witch of the West had joined her in the kicking fest...'…wow Rae. Went a little overboard when you said you were rewriting the ending." He said to himself as he flipped through the pages to see what other creative output his gray companion had made to a classic book. Not that he had ever read the original story in the first place, but still. "Hold on, Lydia, I'm trying to skip some of the stuff you're Mama wrote, as she went too much into detail on how they punished the 'Good' Witch."

She allowed him to skip through the pages, as he was trying to find a section that got back into the story, instead resorting to a very detailed description of what the Good Witch had done wrong and why. Raven had turned a simple classic story into a complex philosophical lesson.

_Geeze, Rae…..making me look like an idiot in front of my own daughter. Why does Raven do this to me? Oh, typical Mrs. Logan, turning anything simple into something complicated._ He thought.

"Daddy, why are you mad at Mama?" She suddenly asked. Garfield looked up to her.

"Hmm….I'm not mad at Mama." He said, a bit confused to her sudden question. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, you were thinking 'why does Raven do this to me' and some 'oh, typical Mrs. Logan.' Are you not mad at Mama then? You were only thinking about it?" She asked. Garfield put down the book and turned his attention to his daughter.

"Lydia," He said, trying to find the right tone. She looked down.

"You're getting angry."

"No, Lydia, stop reading my mind." He said. "Look at me." She looked up. "Okay. Now, let me first start off by saying how proud I am with you, and with how much you have accomplished. I am so proud of you."

"But…..?"

"But," He said, before he sighed. "But how many times have we told you _not_ to read other people's mind?"

"Many." She said sadly.

"Well, at least five times. But one more wouldn't hurt." He said, trying to soften his tone as he was afraid that she had inherited Raven's self-guilt side. "It is private what others think. And sometimes it is not how they _really_ feel about something. It's thoughts. Thoughts come and go, and sometimes people think of the most stupid things in the world. But they never say them out loud, because they are only thinking. Thinking is a process; it is not always finalized on how they feel. But sometimes thoughts are private because _they_ _really_ _are_ the true feelings of people, and people want those thoughts to be private. Thoughts are a personal diary for people. And unless someone gives you permission to read their minds, you shouldn't do it sneaking around. Do you understand?"

"But it's the only thing I know how to do." She said defensively.

"You will learn more as time passes. Remember that. Now, I don't want you to do it again unless we say it is okay. Okay? Lydia?" He said with a stern tone. She looked into his eyes.

"Okay." She said.

"Good girl. And you just don't only have your telepath; you can also make things levitate." He said.

"But Mama says only small objects. That gets boring."

"Well, let me finish this story and we can talk about some things you _can_ do with your powers." He said.

"Okay."

"Okay, now, '…For the fact that not _only_ had the so-called Good Witch had planned the ul-ti-mate, ultimate takeover of Oz by getting rid of the Wizard, but she was going to kill the so-called Wicked…..'…_(Sigh)_, let me skip a few more pages. I think the story is almost over. Your Mama tends to ramble on." He said, flipping through a couple of more pages with Rae's edited version of _The_ _Wonderful Wizard of Oz_. They were only on page forty-two of a two-hundred page book. Garfield knew he was going to skip about hundred pages of Raven's long-winded speech. At the end, it turned out, Dorothy escaped the crowd and fell in love with the Scarecrow that she had found while bury the body of the Good Witch in his crop. A well deserve ending.

Even though Lydia was well intent on doing everything her father and mother told her to do, but she had inherited Garfield's sense of curiosity.

* * *

A few weeks after Garfield had read Raven's version of _The Wonderful Wizard of Oz_ along with a stern talk to Lydia, the whole household had gathered around for dinner. Some of the tension between Robin and Starfire had seemed to wear off, but it was still clear to the other three that they had some issues going on. Nevertheless, it would not interrupt the gang from doing their normal routines, like eating dinner together at least once a week.

As the Titans had grown older, so had their interest, and sometimes the Titans would come to understand why Raven wanted to be left alone sometimes; it sure did get annoying to be around the same people twenty-four seven. However, they decided to try to eat all together at least once a week; this rule was exempt during Raven's pregnancy due to the overwhelming tension.

Cyborg had made a wonderful tri-tip steak, with hand-made mash potatoes, barbeque corn, a crater of gravy, steamed carrots and broccoli, penne pasta for Garfield with rice and a side of tofu, and the ever present steak sauce. If the others were smart enough, they knew not to put on giant globs of steak sauce on the tri-tip, as Cyborg would make a note of it and put extra seasoning on the _already_ over-seasoned steak next time. He only put it on the table in the first place just for Lydia, in case she couldn't enjoy the over-seasoned taste of steak, but his steak should be good enough on its own merits for the others. Starfire had put down Bruce for a nap in the living room.

"….I don't get why they cancelled that show. It was _so_ good." Garfield said to the other's, talking about some action television series that the other boys had watched with him. "What am I going to watch now?"

"Well, they always have something on the old tube. Maybe they'll get another show just like it." Robin had contributed.

"No, they won't! Companies always screw up a good thing." Cyborg said, opposing Robin's optimistic view. "They think they're not making money during its run, so they pull the plug. Or they're afraid it will lose its momentum fan base, and pull the plug too soon to make it seem better than it actually was."

"Can we talk about something else?" Raven chimed in, getting tired of hearing the same conversation for the past month. "I thought you guys had gotten over it. At least _I_ am."

"Oh, well then, let's talk about books, because I know we will _all_ be _interested_ in _that_." Cyborg said sarcastically. "Hasn't Stephenie Meyer released something recently?" Raven gave him a cold stare, as the mere mention of an author that was not seen favorable by Raven drove her mad. She dipped the steak piece she had just cut heavily into the steak sauce to irritate him.

"So…..how is Bruce doing?" Garfield asked, trying to change the subject. Starfire was too busy eating her meal and was no longer listening to her friends. "Starfire?"

"Huh? Oh." She said, noticing Garfield's eyes on her. He immediately regretted his decision, thinking it was a poorly picked subject that would bring up nothing, but trouble since it was obvious to the other's something was going on between her and Robin. "Oh!" She said, putting on her cheerful tone. "Bruce is doing very well! He is a glorious baby! I could not have asked for anything greater."

Robin's eyes lit up, and he seemed to be more pleasant than before; maybe it wasn't such a poorly picked topic _after _all. He quietly ate his dinner while happily listening to Starfire's praise on the joys of motherhood. Even the unexpected mishaps she had encountered were still 'glorious' in her eyes.

Lydia had been listening to all this chatter while she was trying to steal the best parts of the tri-tips before her mother would notice, as she wasn't going to eat _anything_ else on her plate. She even tried to put food back quietly with her telekinesis, but Raven kept looking back at her whenever she would try to attempt it. Raven was now distracted by Starfire speaking, but instead of trying to levitate her food back, Lydia also became interested in Starfire's stories. Starfire always did hype up stories to make them sound more exciting than they really were.

While she was listening to Starfire, Lydia swore she could hear Robin talk as well. But when she looked at him, his lips were sealed. She had heard all of his thoughts before, as well as Starfire's, and the fighting that had been going on between the two. She thought it was pretty silly what they were fighting about and it didn't make any sense to her. She kept hearing the other's say, not in her mind, but out loud in real life, that they wished the fighting would stop. Well, she could hear her father say it a couple of times as well as Cyborg, but her mother did not wish to speak about the topic at all.

Lydia had promised her father that she wouldn't read other people's minds anymore without their permission. But she had heard Robin thought's on his fight with his wife _before_ she was warned, and she couldn't help, but continue to listen to them. She stopped listening to everyone's, but Robin's.

"Lydia, eat your corn." Raven said to her, breaking her concentration on Robin.

"But Mama!" She complained.

"No. I don't want to hear any complaining. You need the protein, so I can excuse you from _only_ eating the meat…"

"—I can't, you know.—" Garfield said under his breath, but still loud enough for Raven to hear. He ate a piece of tofu.

"…..But," She said, looking back to Lydia. "You need to eat something else. Corn is at least a vegetable. Or you can eat the mash potatoes. But you need to eat something else."

"Why?" Lydia asked, testing her mother's patience.

"Because you need a good diet." She said.

"Why?"

"To grow up with strong muscles."

"Why?"

"So, you can defeat bad guys in case they rob you."

"Why?"

"Lydia!" Raven said in a higher tone. "Just eat one bite of something else."

"Why?" She was testing Raven's patience alright. Raven needed to try a different approach.

"Lydia, we all do things in life that we don't want to do, but have too anyway because it is good for us or others. It's called taking responsibility. Everybody here has their share of responsibilities, but they all have to do it, whether they like it or not." Raven said, returning her attention back to her own meal.

"Uncle Robin doesn't." Lydia carelessly said. Before she had a moment to retract what she just had said, Raven gave her a grave look.

"What?" She asked. Lydia wasn't going to say anymore, but since Raven had asked her, she felt her questions might be answered about Robin and Starfire if she made her knowledge about the fight known to her mother. She figured her mother must have had some idea of what's going on, since Raven was a telepath too, and she probably had a solution to their problem before Robin and Starfire would ever realized it.

"Uncle Robin says that he does not want to raise Bruce the way Aunt Starfire wants too and so he hasn't helped out much."

Lydia had thought she had said that very quietly to her mother, but both Starfire and Robin dropped their forks and starred at her. Cyborg and Garfield didn't quite hear what was going on and just looked at Lydia, confused, as Robin and Starfire had stopped talking. Lydia looked up fearfully at all the adults staring at her, as the room suddenly became quiet. Raven noticed the sudden attention she was getting.

"When did Robin _say_ this?" Raven asked, ignoring the stares.

"Well, he didn't…."

"He didn't _say_ it, did he? You had _read_ his mind, didn't you?" Raven asked sternly. "Well?" Lydia nodded and looked down. Starfire excused herself and went to check up on Bruce in the living room, trying to get away. Robin excused himself as well and went down into the hallway.

"I'll go talk to Robin." Cyborg said, getting up and following the caped hero.

"I'll go talk to Starfire." Raven told Garfield, about to get up from the table.

"No. _I'll_ go talk to her." He said, getting up faster.

"What do you mean you will? I'm closer to her then you—"

"—Well, yes. You could argue that, but _you_ need to have a talk with Lydia. I can't."

"Why me? I thought you wanted me to take it easy on her and _not_ be the strict one? That's why you have been giving out the punishments instead of me for the past months." She said, asking him why he was putting her in a position that he usually opposed her being in. Garfield took Raven to the side, out of ear shot of Lydia.

"I had a talk with her. Obviously, she didn't listen. Now I could try to explain to her how her powers work, but that's the thing, I really don't _know_ how they work. I know your powers, but that's a different story, you were already trained when you went out with me." He said.

"Well, not trained in _everything_." She said as she blushed, looking off to the side.

"Well, you have been through this kind of stuff before and so would know, since the Monks discipline you with every power that you had. I can't train someone I don't know how to train. You understand my powers, don't you?" She nodded, starting to get an idea of what he was saying, even though he wasn't communicating it in simpler terms. "But if Robin asked you why I have a harder time controlling my sea animals than I can with my land animals, you wouldn't know how to explain it, would you?" She shook her head. "She needs to be told the serious consequences of her powers by someone who knows what it is like to have her powers."

"You're right." She said, sighing heavily. She was forced to play bad cop once again, if only to help control an uncontrollable force.

The damage was already done and she was just cleaning up after it. She turned around and looked at the somber Lydia sitting in her chair. Raven sat down next to her and made her look up.

I'LL TRY MY BEST POSTING WITHIN THE TWO WEEK TIME FRAME. I'M KIND OF ANXIOUS ABOUT HARRY POTTER, SO I'LL BE A LITTLE FLUSTERED WITH ALL THE OVERWHELMING FEELINGS OF SAYING GOODBYE TO THE FRANCHISE. SO I DON'T WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN BETWEEN JULY 16TH AND BEYOND THOSE DATES. JUST WARNING YOU NOW. IT MIGHT BE A BIT OF A WAIT AFTER CHAPTER 22 BECAUSE OF HARRY POTTER. IT'S NOT THAT I'M OVERREACTING TO IT, IT'S JUST FOR ME IT SYMBOLIZED THE ENDING OF MY CHILDHOOD, MY BIGGEST FEAR IN THE WORLD.


	22. Expecto Patronuming Problems

I'M JUST SAD. YOU CAN JUST JUMP DOWN AND IGNORE THIS RANTING SHIT IF YOU WANT, BUT I NEED TO RANT.

SAD THAT IT SEEMS MY CHILDHOOD IS NOW OFFICIALLY OVER. AND WHILE MY CHILDHOOD WAS PROBABLY OVER FOR A WHILE NOW EVER SINCE I TOOK A JOB, TOOK MORE RESPONSIBITIES, ALLOWED SOME OF MY TOYS AND CLOTHES TO BE DONATED, ABANDONED MY PRIME TV STATION CARTOON NETWORK, AND DEALT WITH MORE SERIOUS ISSUES IN OUR DEVELOPING WORLD, I STILL ALWAYS DECORATED MY ROOM WITH A CERTAIN NOSTAGIC FEELING AND MAINTAIN THAT I AM STILL YOUNG.

IT IS EASIER TO MAKE CONVERSATIONS WITH A STRANGER WHEN THEY BRING UP AN OLD TV SHOW, SUPERHERO, OR A MOVIE FRANCHISES THAT I GREW UP WITH. I KNOW I AM NOT THE ONLY FAN OUT THERE IN THE WORLD FEELING THIS WAY RIGHT NOW, BUT FOR ME THIS FEELING IS SO FAMILIAR BUT YET UNWELCOMED BECAUSE ANY SMALL CHANGE IN MY LIFE, ANY SMALL ROUTINE THAT WAS MODIFY FOR ME, WHETHER GOOD OR BAD, WAS ALWAYS MET WITH RESISTANCE ON MY PART, ALONG WITH DEPRESSION, AND ANGER.

THIS IS PROBABLY WHY, AND YES I WILL ADMIT IT, I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO DOESN'T LIKE 'TOY STORY'; I KNOW, I'M A HEARTLESS PERSON, AND I UNDERSTAND THE APPEAL, THE STORY, AND HOW THE THIRD MOVIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE AND WHATNOT, BUT FOR ME PERSONALLY, THOSE MOVIES ARE JUST THE SCARIEST PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLERS I HAD EVER SEEN BECAUSE IT WAS EXPOSING MY GREATEST FEAR TO ME: GROWING UP AND LEAVING BEHIND YOUR FORGOTTEN INNOCENCE. IT'S NOT CUTE OR SWEET AT ALL TO ME. IT'S LIKE A WAR VETERAN WITH POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER GOING TO SEE A BLOCKBUSTER ABOUT WAR; IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW GREAT THE MOVIE IS FOR THE GENERAL AUDIENCE, THAT WAR VETERAN WILL SIMPLY NOT LIKE IT BECAUSE IT IS A SUBJECT MATTER THEY DON'T LIKE TO REMEMBER.

HARRY POTTER WAS THE THING THAT GOT ME TO READ; NOT THAT HOOKED ON PHONICS SHIT, NOT THAT EXTRA SESSION IN RESOURCE CLASS, BUT A BOOK THAT DIDN'T TALK DOWN TO ME AND YET KEPT THE CHARACTERS AT A KID-FRIENDLY LEVEL. AND I WAS LATE IN THE GAME WITH HARRY POTTER BECAUSE WHEN THEY FIRST CAME OUT, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY READ WITHOUT MY MOTHER. THEN ONE DAY, I JUST PICKED IT UP AGAIN AND TRIED, JUST ONE MORE TIME TO GET THROUGH THE FIRST CHAPTER BY MYSELF, AND I WAS HOOKED SINCE. I WASN'T THE BIGGEST FAN, BUT I ALWAYS COUNTED ON THE BOOKS TO SOOTH ME TO SLEEP AND WIDEN MY VOCABULARY. I REMEMBER THIS ONE TIME I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THIRD BOOK AND A BOY HAD THE NERVE TO DO A BOOK REPORT ABOUT IT. I PLUGGED MY EARS THROUGH THE WHOLE SPEECH, JUST IRRITATED THAT HE HAD BROKEN A HOLY VOW: YOU DO NOT DO BOOK REPORTS ON HARRY POTTER BECAUSE OTHER'S ARE READING IT. I DIDN'T GET IN TROUBLE, BECAUSE I THINK THE TEACHER JUST KNEW.

IT INTRODUCE ME TO THINGS LIKE FORESHADOWING, PLOTPOINTS, AND METAPHORS AS I ALWAYS THOUGHT VOLDEMORT SOUNDED LIKE HITLER. SINCE I WAS LATE IN THE GAME, AND A SLOW READER, I HAD A MARATHON OF JUST READING THOSE BOOKS, ONLY HAVING TO WAIT FOR THE SIXTH AND SEVENTH BOOK TO COME OUT, AND ONLY WAITING FOR THE MOVIES TO COME OUT.

SORRY TO GO ON, BUT I WROTE THIS CHAPTER BEFORE I SAW HARRY POTTER AT MIDNIGHT, AND WHILE I ENDED UP WITH A HEADACHE AT THE END OF THE MOVIE FROM ALL THE CRYING I DID, AND YES I STARTED BAWLING AT THE FIRST HOUR MARK, I SIMPLY WOULDN'T BUDGE FROM MY SEAT UNTIL I WAS SURE I HAD SEEN ALL THE CREDITS, TRYING TO PROLONG THE EXPERIENCE. I EVEN WALKED EXTREMELY SLOW TO MY CAR, WITH MY OVERLY JOYFUL FRIEND NOT KNOWING WHAT TO SAY TO ME, BECAUSE SHE HADN'T READ THE BOOKS AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW GREAT OF AN IMPACT IT HAD ON ME. I'VE BEEN A ZOMBIE EVER SINCE. THIS SHIT BETTER GET AN OSCAR; AN OSCAR FOR ANYTHING, I DON'T CARE, JUST AN OSCAR IN GENERAL.

SORRY. I'M DONE. ENJOY.

"Do you know why you are in trouble?" Raven asked Lydia, folding her arms as she said so.

"Well, I know I shouldn't…"

"That's right, you shouldn't!…"

"But I had read their minds before Daddy said I couldn't." Lydia said, trying to get herself out of trouble.

"That's still not an excuse for saying Robin's thoughts at the dinner table, in front of everybody! It might have _seemed_ like nothing to you, but it deeply disturbed both Robin and Starfire!" Raven said, making Lydia about to say something before Raven interrupted her with, "And anyway, Daddy and I have told you before, many times, not to intrude on other's while they are thinking. That was your last warning Daddy had given you."

"Well, I only said that because you forced me to tell you!"

"Force you?"

"Yeah….when, um, you wanted me to eat something else, and then told me everybody does what they were supposed too—"

"—Lydia, that's getting away from the conversation at hand. That's not why you're in trouble. Yes, technically I asked you to explain yourself what you meant by 'Uncle Robin doesn't', but you should have never read Uncle Robin's thoughts in the first place. And then you wouldn't be in this situation right now. You're in trouble right now because you disobeyed us, and read another person's mind." Raven said.

"You haven't read anybody's thoughts before?" Lydia asked, looking up at her mother. Raven froze for a second, but stood her ground. "Because Daddy says _you_ do—"

"—That's different. I am reading _criminal's_ thoughts. It's a strategy to defeat them. But I don't intrude on other's thoughts, _innocent_ thoughts." She said calmly, trying to ignore the fact that she used to read her friends thoughts, to see if she could trust them in the early stage of her relationship with them. "Sometimes my telepathy can be used for _sensing_ other's nearby, but never meant to listen to their inner thoughts. You _can_ control that part of your powers; it's just a matter of focusing it on the person's spirit, rather than their physical body."

"Spirit?"

"Nevermind," Realizing she was talking about Azarath philosophy to a four-year old. "You're too young to understand that yet. When you're older, you'll know what I mean. Now, the reason why—"

"Well, I didn't mean to upset—" Lydia said, getting defensive.

"I know you didn't mean to, but Daddy and I _told_ _you_ _not_ to because we didn't want you to think you were better than your Aunt and Uncle's because you could learn their secrets they didn't want you to know." Raven said, stopping herself for a second to remember when the days she would try to see what the other's had on their minds, what their agenda was for being her friend before she trusted them. She had read their minds a few times—but it was for different reasons. _Completely_ different. _Entirely_ different. _Light years_ different…..Was it different? "Or thinking you," She started again. "Thinking you were better than Daddy. He can't read your mind; it's not fair for him."

Raven at _least_ knew it was okay for her to read Garfield's mind; he liked it, because sometimes he would think really dirty things when he knew she was listening to him. But she questioned whether it was okay for her friends, even though she rarely ever did it. He was her husband, and so he felt comfortable having her know about something before he could communicate it, because he wasn't the greatest with words, she was. She even remembered him almost asking her one time to stop, but they were in the middle of an argument, and he had told her later to ignore his comment because he _did_ enjoy her intrusion on his brain. It made him feel like he matter, because she was still curious about what was going on inside of his head, even after all of these years.

Lydia began to develop tears in her eyes.

"Is-is Uncle Ro-Ro-Robin mad at me?" She asked, sniffling with each syllable. Raven softened her expression.

"Look, you know now why we don't want you to listen to others; it's just like reading their diary, or invading their room. How would you like it if someone else enters your room, plays with your toys, and doesn't put them in the spot where you would like to put them?" Raven asked. Lydia shook her head to indicate that she would not like that very much.

Besides Lydia's eyes and her skin color, Raven swore she was staring at a younger version of herself, seeing the shame she used to express to the Monks that were disciplining her. While she loved the Monks dearly, they imposed strict punishments, only to show her how severe her actions were when she disobeyed them. Arella would have told Raven then to send the child to her room, and to not allow Lydia any free time for the whole week, only waking her up in the morning to do chores. But Raven refused to be her mother.

"Come here." Raven said, opening up her arms, Lydia slowly slid into them, still sitting in her chair, while Raven stroke her hair. "Are you sorry that you hurt Uncle Robin's feelings?"

"Y-y-yes!" She cried out, as a fork on the table began to shake with the black energy around it.

"Lydia calm down. Or your powers will act up." Raven said, looking down at the fork.

"R-r-right." She said. The black energy faded away.

"Now, you must apologize to both Uncle Robin and Aunt Starfire. You will have extra meditation hours—"

"—But Mama—"

"—No 'buts'." Raven said sternly. Lydia nodded. "I need to know if you can control yourself while I am gone. And don't try to pull that stuff with Daddy; he'll just give you chores to do because he feels the same way. This is just a warning punishment; next time will be more severe. You know better than that."

"I-i-is that a-all?" She asked, looking up at her mother.

"Lydia." Raven said in low stern voice.

"I w-w-wasn't teasing. I-I-I'm just ask-askin'." She said, realizing that it probably sounded condensing to ask her mother such a question. Raven brushed a piece of Lydia's hair back behind her ear.

Already Lydia was showing signs of her powers being unleashed with her just feeling a pure emotion by itself. There would soon be a time when Lydia would have to be just as nonchalant about the world as her mother was or she would unleashed havoc. Raven pitied the younger version of herself, but she also envied Lydia. Raven never got to experience a normal childhood, she was punished if she laugh, she was punished if she cried; she was always reminded by the Monks that she was created for destruction, but the Monks were there to help her live through that, and find peace with herself, not happiness but peace, before she could try and hide away from Trigon. The Monks knew Azarath was the safest place for Raven during her youth, but once Trigon would find out about Azarath, he would stop at nothing to break the seal.

But Lydia was still a child who had just a small knowledge of what she was capable of, and very little understanding of who her grandfather was. It was only a matter of time before Lydia could not be the sweet Lydia that Garfield had raised. She had to become a relaxed, unfeeling, and somewhat of an unsympathetic person if she were to truly maintain control over her powers. Raven could sense her power levels raising, becoming more mature as Lydia herself matured with age. Oh, how she and Garfield would have to break the news to their daughter one of these days, and watched Lydia become completely demoralized by how cruel the world really was. How such a happy soul, as she had superheros for parents, Aunt and Uncle's, would begin to realize how hard life would become _because_ she had these powers.

"Go apologize to your Aunt and Uncle now." Raven said. They both got up and walked up to Starfire and Garfield sitting on the couch, who were deep in conversation.

* * *

Before Raven started her talk with Lydia, Cyborg had called out to Robin, chasing after him.

"Robin, wait up!" Cyborg had cried out. They were both in the hallway, with the door shut so as not to be overheard by the others. Robin stopped walking, but he did not turn around.

"I don't want to talk about it." He said.

"If you didn't want to talk about it, you would have just kept walking. You really do want to talk. Come on, just between us guys, what's going on?" Cyborg asked. Robin sighed.

"I don't know if I should say."

"Come on, you need to consult in someone; it's not healthy to keep it in." Cyborg said, with Robin sighing again.

"Star and I are just fighting over…..over how we want to raise Bruce. You know, Earth traditions versus Tamaranean traditions. I want to say 'yes' to some of hers', but they are _too_ weird then what I am used too. And I think Star sometimes forgets he's not _really_ a Tamaranean. And she gets mad when I remind her of that. Hence the silent treatment." Robin said. He turned around to face Cyborg. "I think it is making her have all those feelings she had when we were trying so hard before and she couldn't get pregnant."

Both Robin and Cyborg could hear Raven raising her voice from behind the closed door, but couldn't quite make out what she was saying. Although, nothing in the room exploded, the light above them started to flicker, but stopped after a few moments.

"Sure glad I'm not in there." Cyborg joked, trying to make Robin smile. The joke failed. "Look, I don't have children. I can't even _keep_ a steady relationship, so I don't know how much advice I could give you. But, if it does not hurt the baby and if it does not prevent you from being unhappy, let her do some of her weird alien stuff."

"One of them involves some kind of baptism; at least it sounds like a type of baptism to me. It involves burning a piece of Bruce's hair, to symbolize something to do with the sun in Tamaranean culture—"

"—Just let her!"

"—While the hair piece is still on his head."

"Oh. Yeah, don't do that. _But_ suggest an _alternative_. Like, taking that piece of hair _off_ his head first." Cyborg said.

"Well…I don't know." He said. "I was raised a _certain_ way and—"

"Are you so insecure of not controlling everything, that you can't _even_ let Starfire take over a few times? Geeze. No wonder you were in such a grouchy mood during Rae's pregnancy; it was a decision you couldn't control." Robin was silent about that, because Cyborg was right on that note at least. "I get the feeling that that's not everything you guys are fighting about."

"It is more than that. But all those arguments have stemmed from this major problem. It's weird; I've never really fought with her this much, excluding Rae's pregnancy though."

"Well, you guys have responsibilities now. Before, everyday was just a honeymoon, but now it's real life. Well, real for a superhero." Cyborg said. "Come on; let's go back in the room. I bet you, Rae has Lydia on a leash now."

"I don't know, Starfire is in—"

"Forget about that for now; I know Rae wants to apologize to you as soon as possible, so come in and confront them about it. I rather have at least one fight cleared so it is not too awkward for the rest of us. So it's not too awkward for _me_ at least." Cyborg said.

"I don't mean to make you guys feel awkward, but I rather do these things on my own. Time will heal. Either she'll give in or I'll give in, but I don't plan on giving in."

"Listen to you! All this time on the team, you would always say 'think about the team, think about the team; we're not a solo group, we're a team'. And now here you are and you say you want to be left alone and do things your way. Robin…(_sigh_)…..forget that now. Nobody is going to be able to resolve this anytime soon, but come in at least and let Rae and BB apologize, because they are so anxious about Lydia being uncontrollable with her powers. Come on, do it for Rae and BB. Do it for Lydia."

Robin looked away for second and looked back at his robotic friend. Robin would sometimes overhear Raven talking to Garfield about their worries of Lydia's powers when they thought they were alone before Robin would make his presence known. And even though what Lydia did was impolite, he couldn't stay mad at his little niece and figured one day Bruce would do something similar to the others. They were just kids after all and kids make lots of mistakes before they know what's wrong and right.

* * *

While Cyborg was talking to Robin, Garfield was had walked over to Starfire after convincing Rae to talk to Lydia. He went over to the couch where Starfire was, and seated himself next to her. Bruce was still asleep, something that Garfield was getting a little jealous of.

"So," Garfield said, trying to lighten up the mood. "It's not fair that your baby is so quiet, while ours was so….hehe…." He laughed uncomfortably. She did not respond. "Well, technically _ours_ was quiet too, but after that quiet period, she would cry like there was no tomorrow—"

"_That's right, you shouldn't!…_" Raven's voice rang, as they both could hear her in the background.

"I'm sorry about what Lydia said." Garfield told Starfire. "We already had a talk with her before about reading other's minds, but I guess Raven would have to really put her foot down….hehe…..I'm glad I don't have the strength to punish Lydia like Rae does, because I would go easy on her. I guess I just have a soft spot for girls." Starfire continued to avoid eye contact. She sighed heavily. "You know, Rae has to remind me to not be too soft on her, because…..because her powers are controlled by her emotions. I _need_ to be reminded sometimes. But Rae also needs to be reminded sometimes to be sweet and tender, because Lydia is still part human and our daughter."

"Hmm." She sighed. "Robin just _refuses_ some of my ways of caring for Bruce." She said in a soft voice, still avoiding eye contact, but nevertheless she was talking to him. "I thought I knew Robin, after _everything_ we've been through. I would have never pegged Robin as the 'stubborn' type towards me. He was always opening of my Tamaranean rituals."

"I thought I knew Raven before she became pregnant, but that's the thing, Starfire, parenting is all about compromises. You may think you know a person, but it's different when they are handling a child. There's always going to be fight like this. You two need to make a decision together or at least compromise on something for what's best for Bruce." He said, as she moved her eyes towards his general direction.

"I don't know, Beast Boy, Robin just seems so…._determine_ to get his way."

"Look, I'm not saying that you guys have it easy with a human baby, I know I shouldn't make those claims. Children are hard _period_. But as a stay-at-home-Dad with a quarter-born Demon, I think my advice on this fight has somewhat weight on it." He said. She scuffed at him, as it sounded somewhat condescending to her. "Star, don't shut me out. What I mean is that, I've been through it all in the beginning. You guys don't know about _all_ the fights Rae and I had when Lydia was still a baby. But I learned to let her do things her way, because I trusted that she had to raise Lydia in a certain way because of her powers. But Rae let me have some things too."

"But you're so understanding, friend Beast Boy." She said, lifting up her eyes to him. "You and Raven are what Robin likes to always call 'team players'. You two seem to agree on so many different things with Lydia, whereas Robin and I disagree on those same things."

"What? Have you not seen us bicker back and forth at times?" He asked, wondering what on Earth had she been smoking for the past four years. "Wait, Robin says Raven and me are 'team players' with Lydia? Wouldn't he usually think of us as a high school couple?" He said more to himself then to Starfire. Starfire jerked her head when she heard Garfield. "I didn't mean to say that out loud….hehe…"

"Yes, I have seen you two fight with each other." Starfire said, going back to his first question. "But I have come to understand that is part of your relationship. Strange as it is and even though when friend Raven explained it to me one time, I still did not fully understand, but I've come to find it normal between you two. Cyborg has used the phrase, the 'all in good fun' arguments."

"Well, not all fights are 'in good fun'. Some of our fights are serious." He said, while Starfire widened her eyes. "Well, not _that_ serious. What I mean is that….well….."

"Robin just does not understand my ways. I thought he did, but I guess he doesn't. In Tamaranean tradition, it is customary for the caregiver to make _all_ of the decisions for the child. But so far, Robin has made _all_ of the decisions for me. And when I protest, he claims that this is Earth and that we are not on Tamaran."

"Raven is from a different world too. She was not raised on Earth _either_, but we discuss how we should raise Lydia. Even after everything that _I've_ been through with her, I still found out stuff about her I had not known before….I mean haven't you guys discussed any of this while you were _trying_ to have children?"

"Garfield?" A voice behind them interrupted. They both looked up at the grey figured soaring over them. "Let's not get involve in their affairs. It is between them." Raven said, looking at him, before she shifted her eyes to Starfire. "Which is why _we're_ here. Starfire, I'm sorry that you're problems have been discussed when you were not ready to discuss them. Lydia has something to say." She pushed Lydia forward to present herself in front of Starfire.

Lydia stood there, petrified to look up at her kind Aunt, who was more kind to her then her own mother. Starfire handed Bruce to Garfield before she floated above the couch and kneeled before Lydia, trying to get her to look up.

"I'm sorry." Lydia said softly. Starfire put a gentle hand on Lydia's shoulder which made Lydia looked up to her.

"Young minds are really curious and would like to know everything about the world. I remember when I wanted to use my powers at an early age before I was ready." Starfire said. "I remember I one time fell down from trying to fly too early and had a scolding from my Galfore. I understand, just don't let your curiosity get the better of you." Lydia gave her a small smile.

Raven was a little taken back by how Starfire was trying to relate to her child more than Raven herself would. Raven had the same powers as Lydia and _Starfire_ was the one who got the small smile by _her_? However, since Starfire was being forgiving when she could have been angry, Raven had to accept her defeat in winning the affection of her daughter.

Just as Starfire was done accepting Lydia's apology, Robin and Cyborg had then walked through the hallway door. Starfire merely looked at him for a second before looking back at Lydia, and then proceeded to grab Bruce back from Garfield and walked out of the room, going to her own. Robin didn't think twice about it, and went over to see Lydia. Robin stood in front of her, with his arms folded. Lydia turned around and looked down, not wanting to look up at her Uncle. She put her hands behind her back and shifted awkwardly as she tried to find the right words to say.

"Lydia?" Raven asked Lydia.

"Shh, she's doing it Rae, don't push her." Garfield replied back.

"Um…." Lydia said. "I…..um…..am.….sorry….Uncle….Robin, for reading your mind…and….um….for….for…..for…(_cough_)…..for telling your secrets at the dinner table."

Robin allowed a small silence between them, so Lydia would feel uncomfortable and therefore wouldn't want to get in trouble again. After a few moments, he sighed heavily.

"I assume you two have a punishment already?" He asked Raven and Garfield. Raven nodded. "Okay." He said, as he kneeled down to Lydia. "Lydia, look up." She obeyed his order and looked nervously at him. He allowed there to be another silence between them before he opened up his arms to her. "Come here." He said, making her fall into his arms as she began to tear up.

"I didn't mean it—I didn't mean it!" She kept on repeating as he rubbed her back. She put her left thumb in her mouth and began sucking it, to the annoyance of both her parents, but they didn't say anything.

"It's okay, it's okay." Robin said, comforting her. When a few minutes past, after she settled down, Robin pulled her off of him. "Do you want to watch a movie? How about _The Lion King_?" She nodded, with her thumb still stuck in her mouth.

Robin got up to set up the movie while Raven quickly went by her side and gently slapped her hand.

"Don't suck your thumb." Raven said.

As Robin past Garfield, who had gotten up from the couch, Garfield whispered to Robin, "Don't you think you should have a talk with Starfire?"

"(_Sigh_) Not right now," Robin whispered back, trying to keep his voice low. "I have enough problems as it is. I'll deal with it later."

"No, you should deal with it _now_." Garfield said a little louder. Garfield took Robin to the side and made him look up. "Look, you're no longer a solo man anymore. _Even_ when you were married, you guys still had your freedom and time to mope. Dude, cut the shit out now. You have a son. And he is a _baby_ at the moment. You should be more involved. Go to Starfire now."

"Don't tell me what to do." Robin whispered back. "Look, I'm sure you guys have worked out a system, but Star and I can work out our own. Don't get involve. Not everybody in the world can be as perfect as Raven and Beast Boy. I can work things out on my own."

"Oh, stop it with your pride already. We all know who raised you. Might I remind you that Raven was still shell-shocked after she had Lydia and wasn't quite ready to be a mother. But she still helped out—"

"—I'm helping out—"

"—Like hell. I've seen you sulking around the Tower while Starfire tries caring for Bruce on her own. _Even_ Rae wouldn't sink that low when she was shell-shocked. She did some chores for me."

"She's your wife; you always over-fantasized about her. I saw a couple of times of you being the solo parent while she sat back. And maybe she has a better excuse, but don't act like she was this perfect princess."

"Maybe I do over-fantasized, but she helped out behind closed doors, away from your eyes. Might I remind you that we were not on good terms with each other at that time. Technically, I was the one who wanted Lydia more than she did, but I've managed to have Rae a big part of her life. You be surprised how fast babies grow up, and how fast they start to remember things." Garfield finished, with Robin glaring at him.

"What are you two talkin' about over there? Start the movie!" Cyborg shouted from across the living room.

"Can we watch _Harry Potter _instead?" Lydia asked sitting on the couch. "I haven't seen it before."

"It's too dark for you." Raven said, as she slid beside her.

"But Daddy has been reading the book to me." She said to her mother. Raven gave Garfield a cold stare.

"Oh, he has, hasn't he?" Raven said as she raised an eyebrow. Garfield chuckled nervously, allowing Robin to escape his presence and go to the DVD player.

"Hey, it's a long book…and it's no darker then what the stuff you read to her from your Grim Reapers Book." Garfield defended himself.

" 'It isn't _any_ darker', and it's 'the _Grimm Fairy Tales_'. And it's different then Harry Potter." She said.

"How so? They're both about the ongoing battle between good and bad, they both have morals at the end, and they both have dark themes in them." He said. She didn't say anything, and he felt triumphed that he was able to make her speechless for the moment. She glared at him and waved her hand.

"Fine, put it on. But if she gets nightmares, you're sleeping with her in her bed, _Daddy_." Raven said. Garfield smiled at this compromised, and looked towards Robin to show him how he comes to compromises and doing his parent duty. Robin pretended to ignored his looked, but took note of it, and made his hand towards the _Harry Potter_ DVD's instead of the Disney DVD's.

Lydia _did_ have a nightmare that night and forced Garfield to sleep with her in her room, as she was afraid she had accidently said Lord Voldemort's name out loud and thought she had saw a ghostly figure in her room. Garfield had told about Lydia's nightmares the next day, making sure Robin was within earshot of his story.

As it seemed everybody in the Tower had talked to either Starfire or Robin, there could be no more said on the subject and the others went on pretending that there wasn't any tension going on. Occasionally, Garfield would make a comment now and again to make Robin glare at him with anger, but he didn't confront Robin again like he had done before.

* * *

"…Aza-RATH…..ME…trion….ZINTHOS!" Raven shouted as she allowed her black energy to cover the room.

She was embraced in Garfield's arms, sweating from their exercise, and pulled his hair one more time before she fell on the bed. Garfield fell beside her and pulled the blanket over her bare body. She lay there motionless, breathing heavily, with her eyes closed. Garfield watched her as he was trying to steady his own breathing. He was beyond happy, as this was the second time they had meditated together in just _one_ week. Just _one_ week. Seven days. One-hundred and sixty-eight hours.

Several months had passed after Starfire and Robin had received their Bruce. While the two were still disagreeing about their parenting styles, they were at least being civil with each other and manage to sleep together in the same room. It was a start at least. Bruce was growing bigger each day it seemed and Lydia each day tried to pick him up. Sometimes she succeeded, sometimes she failed. Lydia had turned five, and Cyborg had made up and started dating Jinx, again. And now Garfield had conquered his lover _twice_ in _one_ week.

After a few minutes with Garfield reminiscing about everything that happened that evening, he began to comb her damp hair with his hands, as she continued to steady her breathing.

"Rae, are….you still there?" He asked while he tried to straighten out her hair. She lay on her back, with her head slightly jerked to one side, and her lips barely parted. He gently brushed his hands on her cheek and lips. "Rae?"

She made a small moan, informing him that she wasn't dead even though her hard breathing would suggest that she was alive anyway. He grabbed her hand and rubbed it.

"You know….in the middle…of it all," He said, looking up at the ceiling. "I wondered what made you….._want_ me tonight. Was it the way I looked at you….or the way I comforted you when Lydia disobeyed something you said to her….or the way I tried to read your book?"

She rolled her head towards him, but kept her eyes shut, with him turning his eyes to her. They both lay there in silence for some time, with Garfield regaining most of his breathing. She then slowly opened her eyes.

"No…it was the way you held me…in your arms, which made me want you tonight." Raven said in a soft tone before she closed her eyes again, her powers were just drained out. He suddenly changed his mood and put his hand gently on her cheek, with a worried expression.

"Rae…I hope you didn't….wear yourself out this week by being intimate with me twice in one week." He said with concern. She smirked before opening her eyes again.

"I'm not that weak _afterwards_. I'm just…..enjoying the positive energy you're creating in the room." She said, caressing his hand that was intertwined with hers.

"Mmm…..I'm not buying that." He said, just now realizing that maybe unleashing her Lust in such a short period of time was a little unwise on his part.

"You worry too much." She said, resorting to ignore his question and closed her eyes.

"_I_ worry too much?" Garfield asked her, wondering if she had even heard what she had just said. She opened her eyes looking at him, gave him a small grin before maintaining a neutral expression. This sudden change frightened him. "You're not overwhelming yourself with another work out in one week, are you?" She didn't answer him. "Rae. You shouldn't have done it with me if your body wasn't up to it."

"No, no, it's fine." She said, before closing her eyes again, giving him a small smile to ease his mind. "It's fine." She said again before drifting off to sleep. And while she was content with her answer, he wasn't. At first, he was proud about the fact that they were able to be intimate with each other twice in just one week, but now he felt shame and guilt.

He scooped his arm under her body and embraced her closer to him. She shifted her weight a bit before she laid still again. He looked up at the ceiling, hoping that it wouldn't come crashing down on him because he tempted his Demon lover one too many times. But the ceiling stayed intact, and he was only left with his thoughts. Her soft breathing on his neck was making it hard for him to think in general, but he tried his best to ignore it, even though it was irresistible to feel.

_Am I wrong, or is there really something going on? I shouldn't play with fire, but she says it's no big deal. I mean, am I over thinking this? Can _I_ over think something? How she would laugh if she could hear me._ He thought. _Something must be up if her Lust became overwhelming too soon. I don't believe her excuse, 'it was the way you held me your arms', I'm the romantic around here, and even I wouldn't use a line like that. Well, not that _exact_ line._

Before he had a chance to question himself once again whether he was over thinking everything, if she was being sincere, or if there was an actual problem going on with her, his eyes slowly closed as he drifted off into sleep himself.

He was the first to wake up the next morning, a relief to him, but it was early in the morning. Of course the first priority for him would be to search around the Tower to see if there was any damage, but his reasonable thoughts were not on his side that day. He was curious, a little _too_ curious. So, like any curious husband with a half-breed Demon as his wife, he got up and went through her things, mainly her Azarath books. He hadn't even bothered to put on a shirt before he started to pull book after book off her shelf.

Well, now _that_ was a brilliant idea. Before he knew it, he had spent about ten minutes just pulling her books off the shelf. In any event, she probably would think it was because of her powers during the night, but it was looking rather suspicious if Garfield continued to pull books _off_ the shelf.

He looked around the room to see how much damage she had done. He spotted a couple of his stuff animals and her one stuffed chicken shredded up. His own toys he could forget, but he was hoping that she could probably put her chicken back together. After all, it took him _forever_ to win her something at that amusement park, with a months' worth of his allowance to prove it, and he wouldn't let a night of fun destroy a rather memorable keepsake. _He_ could always buy more stuff animals, but that giant chicken, as stupid as it was, had to remain.

Anyway, he turned his attention back to her books. But the problem was, the more he dig in her library, the more he realized that any book in English wasn't going to be about Demon sexual encounters and any book that was about Demon sex _was_ _going_ to be in a weird language to which he would not to be able to recognized. There were books in English on Earth plants, on Earth human beings, on the known universe in general, and on the Earth's ocean and animals. But nothing about Demonic beings engaging sexually or how their bodies worked in general. He was hoping too much.

After another twenty minutes passed by as he searched her library, he heard Raven stir in her sleep. He began to put all her books back on the shelf, only hoping that he could be undetected about touching her things even though he could just simply explain that she had done it herself the night before. But when he panics, he doesn't think reasonably.

"Garfield, what are you doing?" A soft voice called out to him. He looked up and saw her sitting straight up, already examining the scene he was trying to clean up. She kept the blanket over her bare body, trying to hide it's shame from the one that would make it blush.

"Um…" He said, _trying_ to think, trying to stall for time. She looked down.

"You're trying to find something in those books, aren't you?" She asked as her half grin from her happy night began to disappear. She looked away, combed her unkempt hair out of her face, before she looked back at him, disappointed. "You had a chance to lie, but it's obvious you're still worried that I am exhausting myself. We had a nice night, why complicate things? Aren't you happy?"

"Well," He said, putting another book back in its place. "I was used to a routine you had. It seemed every few weeks you were ready, or once a month you were ready. A couple of times we would have to wait for a long time for a reason or another, but _this_ just seems so sudden."

"So, you're trying to find something that would ease your mind in those books?" She asked. He put another book back, avoiding eye contact with her, giving her the answer. "Garfield, nothing's wrong. Everything is fine. My Lust was just acting up." He continued to avoid eye contact with her. "You don't believe me."

"It was just weird. A week ago, you were showing your playful side to me. Then a couple of days later, you were backed to normal, but then just yesterday you started showing your playful side to me _again_. I was excited, but I _wasn't_ thinking clearly if what we were doing was dangerous. Now I am."

"So, now you regret my playfulness. If you were that worried, I would have tried to suppress my Lust further until more time had passed by, but I thought you would have liked my very early birthday present to you." She said, pulling the blankets up further toward her, almost embarrass to show him her bare shoulder now as she thought it was too scandalous for him at the moment. He frowned.

"Rae, I don't mean to make you feel guilty." He said apolitically. "That's why I am going through your books; I didn't want you to know." He looked up at her trying to make her feel better, but the damage was already done. "Rae."

"You're the one who was flirting. I don't start things, you do." She said softly, but in an accusing manner.

"I'm _always_ flirting." He said, trying to maintain a defense for himself. She looked down again. "Oh." He said, reading her expression, realizing that maybe _that_ was the problem. "I didn't think I flirted too much. I mean…..you know sometimes I just flirt just to tease you….I don't actually mean anything serious by it."

"Well, I know. But it is hard to tell my emotions that, to tell them that they are being toyed with." She said in her monotone. She allowed her grip to loosen on the blanket, allowing her breast to be exposed. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice. "I can't reason with them sometimes. Especially with Lust. She's an animalistic emotion; she doesn't care what your real motives are, if she likes what she sees, she wants to conquer it. She doesn't think things out logically. _I_ can't think things out logically when she overpowers me."

"I didn't think my harmless flirting was…..harmful." He said, realizing just then how stupid he had sounded. She tried to hide her smile from the amusement of him trying to act smart, but he saw it. It relieved some of the tension in the room, but he was still worried. "You should've told me."

"I didn't think it would be a problem, that's why I continued to say it is _not_ a problem. We happened to have another night together in a short period time span. It's not a big deal. We are usually very careful. Other than doing a bit more meditation today, I don't think it has affected me in any other way." She said, trying to maintain her monotone, but her cheeks began to color. "Well, it hasn't affected me in a _bad_ way."

"But it _is_ a problem. What if something bad happened while we were…..I want to know everything that there is to know about being safe. It shouldn't have to all fall on your shoulders."

"You do enough. It's fine." She said. He gave her a worried look before he went back to her books. He picked up one them and looked at its binding, hoping he would be able to read the unidentified language written on it. She sighed. Her words were not comforting him. "If it will make you feel better, I will look over my books again."

He looked up at her and gave her a small grin, as he put the book back in its place. He wanted to finished the chore, but she lifted the books with her black energy and with a swift motion with her hand, had she placed all the books back to it's original spot, as he looked at her amusingly.

"Don't worry about that now. It's still too early to get up on a Saturday. Come back to bed." She said in her soft tone, lifting the blankets to cover her body again.

He remembered that they had gone to bed really late last night and he had gotten up rather early from the anxiety that he had felt throughout the night. She lifted up part of the blanket next to her with her black energy, motioning for him to come back to her. It seemed as though nothing had happened before, forgetting about the conversations he had replayed in his head the night before.

He walked over to the bed and resumed his place in bed, putting his head on the pillow and opening up his arms to her. She fell by his side facing him, allowing him to embrace her, while she rested her head by his chest, with her hair just below his chin. Jump City was experiencing cold weather at the moment and even though the heater was on throughout the Tower, they felt a lot comfortable in each other's arms without becoming too hot from the extra heat they were creating.

It wasn't long before both of them drifted back to sleep, with Garfield being a little calmer then the night before. But despite everything she had said, he would still make sure she would read her books again.

SEE YA.


	23. Looking Back to Her White Cloak

I SAW HARRY POTTER AGAIN, TO EASE THE PAIN. I CRIED THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE THEATERS TO SAY 'OWW' WHEN HERMIONE AND RON KISSED.

I DON'T HAVE ANY SHAME.

ANYWAY…

"Garfield…stop looking over my shoulder. You can't even read the language, so why do you linger over me?" Raven asked.

It was mid-afternoon, with the pair of them in their room. Raven was reading through her books while sitting comfortably on the bed, while Garfield was flipping through her books, and occasionally anticipating her every word when she was reading something. He was now right behind her, blocking her light as he tried to read the unfamiliar language.

"I just…..wanted to know what you were reading. You seemed to be interested in that paragraph. I thought it might be something." He asked, pointing to the page she was reading.

"I am reading—once again for the fifteenth time in my life—the Demonic menstrual cycle." She said in her monotone.

"Menstrual cycle? What's…oh…..oh!…..ew….." He said, realizing what she was reading. "Why..."

"You wanted me to read again and if I need to know something, I need to read _everything_ up on the matter. Nothing written is going to state out right that 'if a half-Demon and a human mate, here is how they do so without consequences'. I have to try and find a solution through the material I am given." She said, flipping through the page as she had grown tired of its contents and also somewhat disgusted by it too.

"What's this book about?" He asked, holding up a brown leather book set beside her.

"_That_ is about the teachings of Azar. It's the teachings that help me suppress my emotions." She said as he flipped through its pages.

"Are all your books like that? 'Trigon was an evil douchebag, and so he created a sexy daughter to help him destroy Earth by doing an unspeakable act to her mother.' Anything nice in there besides all this dark stuff?" He asked, trying to joke with her as he put down the book.

"Did you just use the word 'sexy' and mentioned my mother's rape in the same sentence?" She asked, raising an eyebrow while she flipped through another page which she had read for the fifteenth time as well. She looked up at him. "Did you say 'sexy daughter'? I hardly doubt he would have cared about my looks. I sometimes wished if he ever saw me, he would have thought me repulsive, just in case he had other plans for me besides…." She said, deciding to speak no further and looked away from him before she looked back down.

Now Garfield had regretted what he said. He regretted mentioning about Trigon and about her mother's rape. She pretended that she didn't say anything profoundly heavy, and just kept flipping through the pages, occasionally stopping to read something as if it was interesting. But her mind was somewhere else altogether. And he noticed this.

A piece of hair slid down to her nose, getting in the way of her vision. She slid the hairpiece behind her ear and she felt his hand touching hers as she did so. She looked up to him and he gave her a solemn look.

"I'm sorry." He said sadly.

He had gotten up on his knees, so he could hover above her, and held her hand as she gripped it. She lowered her eyes, remembering about the horror of her father coming back, that not only was she afraid of becoming that portal she had heard prophesied, but that maybe her father would find her appealing to himself and force himself on her, like he did with her mother. He was an unholy Demon, and would not care that it was his own daughter. He would do anything to please himself.

"Rae, don't. Don't. I'm here." Garfield said, as he could see her about to go into a trance, as she remembered something so vile.

"No, no, I'm fine." She said in her monotone.

"Rae, you shouldn't keep something locked up that is _so_ heavy. Of everything about you, this is the darkest thing I've ever heard about your past. You've only mentioned this to me twice. You need to let it out. It's understandable."

"No. You know I can't!" She yelled. Her book flew out of her hand, landing on the floor. "I'm sorry…..I didn't mean to….."

"Shh…" He said, gripping her hand tighter. "It's okay. If you hold it in, you'll just be more destructive."

"He….he…didn't find me attractive. But still. I…" She said, having her words caught in her mouth.

She let her tears fall down to her cheek, before she wiped them away. She didn't whimper, she didn't cry out, she simply swelled up and exposed her tears to the world. One of their many cushions they had purposely purchased for such an event, had ripped to shreds, its contents made of cheap fabric. She allowed her lower lip to whimper just a little, before Garfield put her head on his shoulder and rubbed her back.

"Shhhh…..shhh….(_Humming _'I Want To Hold Your Hand')…" Garfield whispered. "You'll let me be…..your man….." He quietly spoke out, rocking her back and forth. She closed her eyes and tried to wiped the tears away. "Shhhh….." She turned her body all the way around to face him, and embraced him as he continued to sing his lullaby.

"I should have told Robin about that fear when I turned sixteen…but I had already told him so much. I told you guys too much. I put you all in danger. I didn't want you guys to worry about _me_ even more. I just was…" She said softly, clutching to him tighter.

"I know. It's okay. When I said 'sexy', I meant _me_ finding you sexy. Not what you're thinking…..not _that_…..I would never…"

"I know, I know." She said quietly, trying to compose herself.

After a few more minutes of Garfield's lullaby, she broke the hug, with only her swelled up face and her eyes red as evidence that she had been crying. Another inexpensive pillow exploded as she wiped the last tear. She looked down, ashamed that she had shown such extreme emotion after having a wonderful time with her husband the night before.

"_I'm_ the one who is sorry. I ended up thinking about something silly that happened a long time ago, and it never became a true calamity in the first place. I worried over _nothing_." She said, kneeling down to pick up the book she had dropped, before going back to resume her place. Occasionally she would sniffle, but she tried to ignore it.

He resumed his place of looking over her as she read, but she didn't mind it this time. He put her hands on her shoulders; rubbing them to relieve the stress as he tried to read the gibberish that she had called a different language. At least some of the pages had pictures in it. After sometime had passed by, with her quietly looking through the different books, he took the book out of her hand.

"I don't think you are going to be able to get anything done. You're thinking too much right now." He said.

"You're the one who wanted me to read more into it…"

"Yeah, but now you're losing focus."

"I _am_ focus. It was just a minor problem, but I can regain….."

"No, you can't. You're not focusing. I can tell." He said. She looked down and tried to find the words to tell him she was okay.

"I'm fine, Garfield." Was all she could come up with, trying to add more emphasized on her words. She tried to retrieve back her book, but he moved it away. "Garfield."

"I can see it in your eyes; you're still thinking about your father. Rae—"

"—Don't you _dare_ call that man my father." She said slowly, with a harsh tone. She glared at him with furry. "He's not even a man; that would mean he would have a soul. He's not….." A candle on top of one of their shelves melted. She looked at up at it. "I'm sorry."

"No, no, no, don't be. It's healthy to discuss these things."

"I rather forget it. It happened a long time ago." She said, retrieving the book out of his hand with her black energy. She turned the page she had left off.

"How long have you've been repressing this memory?" He asked.

"I'm not repressing a memory. I just told you." She said, trying to maintain her monotone. Their door was covered in black energy, opened and shut, before she added, "I'm fine."

He continued to rub her shoulders as he looked towards their library collection, sitting on the shelf. He scanned the shelves, realizing how many books they owned. Well, how many books _she_ owned. But not all of them were books. Some of them were photo albums, and these albums were stored in the back of the shelf, away from curious eyes.

It wasn't anything scandalous, they were normal pictures. Garfield preferred to take more pictures then Raven was comfortable of having taken of her. But he noticed one particular photo album that made him get up. Curiously, she watched him walk over to the shelf, take the big white album out from the back, and propped it in front of her.

"No." She simply stated, looking up to him.

"What? Why not? It's been ages since we've looked through them." He said, opening up to the first page, which was a simple picture of the two of them.

They were standing on the roof of the Tower, with Garfield embracing Raven as he was smiling as wide as he could, and she gave a small, slight grin to the camera. He was in a dark purple tuxedo, a white undershirt, black bowtie, matched with dark purple pants, with a lavender flower in his pocket.

"You like these pictures more than I do." She said, looking down to it.

She was wearing an ordinary Empire style white dress, with oval sleeves resting on her shoulders, with a blue ribbon tied around her waist and her hair tied up in a bun with a stem of lavender flowers in her hair. Her neckline wasn't very low, but she regretted that she didn't wear a higher one. Of course it was their wedding album. Something Garfield had forgotten about for many months now since they were busy raising Lydia.

She looked at the picture, hoping that this silence between them would last for a while, since it was a break from her reading, but she wouldn't admit it right away that she was enjoying this moment. His soft breathing on her neck, as he was beaming over the pictures. She merely gave a slow nod of an approval to look over them more.

The second page was too many pictures of Raven trying to get ready, as Starfire got carried away with the camera. However, Garfield printed out every single picture, some of it was to tease her, but mostly he wanted to see what she had done previously beforehand.

Now, since she was not much of a believer in marriage, she certainly wasn't a believer in any Earth Western traditions, such as not seeing the bride before the ceremony, and doing that whole 'something borrowed, something blue' bit. Garfield, on the other hand, wanted to uphold those traditions because he wanted to experience it all. So, he forced himself not to see Raven that day, with her being a little irritated because that meant she would have to rely on Starfire to help her.

"I love this one." He said, pointing to the one where Raven had her back turned, and had her hand up to use her black energy to zip up her dress, showing her bare back. She turned the page, not interested in her own vanity.

"Why do you have fewer pictures then I do?" She asked, looking at the few pictures of him trying to put on his tuxedo, _trying_ as the keyword. At one point Robin had to get in to help him put on his slacks and bowtie. Several of them of was of Garfield sitting on his bottom bunk bed, looking rather scared.

"After ten minutes of laughing at me, they decided that that was enough footage." He said, remembering the small humiliation he had on that day because he didn't know how to properly put on his formal wear—amongst _other_ things. "Can you believe them? And here I am (_Pointing to another picture_), nervous out of my skull and these two are sitting by with the camera, just clicking away."

She looked up to him, giving him a small nod as she agreed with him. "Starfire was not exactly someone I could talk to about…."

"Nor was Robin and Cyborg. Funny, isn't it? Our closest friends and we couldn't even tell them something so…..private." He said, turning to the next page. He proceeded to tell her everything that he was thinking about while in his room on that particular while he was getting ready and when she walked down the aisle. Raven got closer into his arms, pointing to various pictures as he spoke…...

* * *

_The wedding day._

* * *

"Man, BB, why are you so nervous?" Cyborg had asked, wearing an unfashionable attire which consisted of a darker version of Garfield's tux. All three of the boys were in Garfield's old room, preparing for the big day for their fellow Titan. "You've like asked her four billion times to marry her—"

"—_Just_ twelve—" Garfield interrupted.

"—And _now_ you're nervous? Should ya have thought about _all_ that while you were asking her those _twelve_ times?" He asked. Garfield glared up at him, sitting on his bottom bunk.

"I'm not nervous about _marry_ her." Garfield said.

"Well, then what are you nervous about?" Robin asked, chiming in. He too was wearing a darker version of Garfield's tuxedo, and while he didn't like it as much as Cyborg, he had a lavender rose in his pocket to alter it a bit. "Is it the ceremony?"

"Well….." Garfield said, looking around the room. He couldn't tell them, he just couldn't tell them. He looked back up to the two. "Yeah….it's the ceremony…well, you know me. I just want everything to be perfect for Raven. You know there was a reason why she wouldn't say 'yes' the first twelve times—"

"—What? Other than that the reason that she was marrying _you_?" Cyborg said.

"You know Raven; she's not the marrying type." Garfield finished before Cyborg had anything else to say. "You know Cy, for a best man, you sure do suck at the job. Best man _and_ the person who is going to perform the ceremony might I add. Robin can still have that job if you don't watch it."

Cyborg merely just smirked to himself before he took another picture of the annoyed Garfield. Robin sighed.

"Well, thank goodness it's just that," Robin said, turning his attention to Garfield. "I thought you were getting nervous about something _entirely_ different…..(_laugh_) I mean you have been moved into Raven's room a year ago, approximately the same time you got engaged. So, I already assume…..."

Garfield blushed, but didn't say anything, trying to pretend that whatever Robin was saying was exacting the truth. Yes, it was true he had moved into his fiancé's room after their engagement was final, and she finally accepted his hand in marriage, but they didn't even come _close_ to becoming more intimate. He had moved into a bed that folded out from underneath her bed, separating them during the night. Sometimes he would wake up in the morning just to lay beside her in her own bed, just for a little bit, before she would wake up. But besides the occasional slip of his hand down her leotard as they were making out, which she _sometimes_ didn't stop, not much action happened in their beds' besides sleeping.

She promised him it would be 'soon', but 'soon' never came, and instead the wedding did. Now the pressure was on him to perform a task he had never achieved with her and on such an important day. Sure, she particularly didn't care or even respected the establishment of marriage, but for him and him only, did she change her mind. _She_ wanted this day to be perfect for him, so that their relationship wasn't _that_ abnormal and _he_ wanted this day to perfect for her, to show her marriage was not such a scary and useless ceremony as she once perceived it to be.

But making sure the ceremony perfect wasn't that hard. Both of them had gotten all of their friend's invited, with Robin giving her away, Starfire being the Matron of Honor, Cyborg being the best man as well as the person performing the ceremony, and even though the gang would have a huge party, the two of them would sneak off quietly without any suspicion. How could it _not_ be perfect? Well, sure there would be disruptions due to Raven's powers, but it was expected.

He wanted to tell them what he was _really_ nervous about, that Robin's first clue _was_ right: Garfield hadn't got laid yet and he didn't know how to make it satisfying for the woman he would soon call his wife.

"I guess our little BB is doing _something_ right, if Rae still wants to marry him." Cyborg said, once again chiming in at the wrong time, although, this time he was talking to Robin. He went up to Robin to stand opposite of Garfield. "Just think of it, it seems just like yesterday our little BB was telling Rae a joke about 'why did the aardvark cross the road?', and she replied 'to beat up the idiot telling jokes about him.' And how we all cracked up. (_Laugh_) That was hilarious!"

"Or how about when it seems like every single time he got hit by a bad guy, he ended colliding with Raven and knocking them both out!" Robin said, putting his two cents in. Again, they both laughed. "If I didn't know any better, I swear Beast Boy, you did that on purpose."

"Or maybe I sometimes don't see the bad guy coming at me." He said, objecting to such nonsense. He, getting knocked out on purpose, only to collide with Raven? Of course, most of it was true. Robin looked at his watch, one of the many little jobs he was in charge of.

"It's almost two. You ready?" Robin asked him. Garfield got up slowly, trying to keep his suit nice and straight. "You still need time?" Garfield looked up at him and smiled.

"No; I've been ready for a while now." He said, as he was being escorted out to the roof top.

* * *

There he was, standing on the roof of the Tower, standing underneath a white altar decorated with lavender flowers. Cyborg was by his side, giving him the comforting smile now and again. Garfield stared down at the array of Titans who had showed up. There was Bumblebee, who was Cyborg's date, dressed in a yellow silk dress, Aqualad, Speedy, and Mas y Meno's dressed up in their fine black tuxedos.

The three young superheroes that Raven had saved a long time ago were all there, with Melvin in her early teens, in a nice pink dress, and Timmy Tantrum and Teether in their pre-teen years, dressed in nice suits. Jinx was also present as well even though she had broken up with Cyborg three months ago…again. Needless to say, there was going to be some tension. But Garfield didn't care about that now.

After what it seemed like an hour to Garfield, which was only five minutes in reality, Raven stepped out of the roof door, followed by Starfire. Starfire was wearing a dress identical to the one she wore when Robin went to the prom with Kitty, which was a long purple, spaghetti strap dress, walking with a bouquet of lavenders. She insisted Raven should have her own bouquet, but Raven preferred to walk without one.

Raven was wearing the Empire dress, making her look like she had just stepped out of time from the Victorian era, with a single, sheer, short-length veil. It didn't cover her face very well, but a veil wasn't the most practical accessory of a wedding. Raven might not have been big on the 'great' superstitions of weddings, but she did allow Starfire to wrap a blue ribbon around her waist, for her 'something blue', just in case.

With the lavender flowers hanging off her hair, she slowly walked down the gravel pathway towards the altar. Everyone stood up and even though they were supposed to, Raven preferred them to stay seated. But she didn't say anything, only looking down as she walked. Robin joined her halfway, just to make it seem official, as Robin had always seemed like her older brother, and it was his way of letting go of getting involved in Rae and Garfield's affairs. However, as time would tell, he would have a harder time of letting go than he would have thought.

"Have I thank you for walking me down?" Raven whispered to Robin as all eyes were on her and she didn't enjoy the uneasy silence. She kept her eyes on the ground; she was uncommonly shy this day.

"Yes, you have. Many times in fact since three months ago." Robin whispered back, trying to make her comfortable about the fact that today was not only Garfield's day, but hers as well. "Rae, I think I've known you better than anybody else, are you sure you're going to be happy?"

"Of course, why would you ask that? Do you think Garfield is capable of pressuring me to do anything? And no, Robin, _Garfield_ knows more about me then _even_ you. Again, why would you ask me such a question?" She asked, looking up to Robin as she slowed down. Robin smiled.

"I just wanted to be sure. If you would have said anything else that indicated you were still thinking, then I would know you're not ready. But you _are_ ready." He said, as she gave him a small grin before looking back down. He looked at her grin. "Are you wearing makeup?" Noticing her pink cheeks and dark eyelashes, indicating it was mascara.

"Maybe." She said, being unusually coy this evening. She kept her eyes down on the pavement. "Starfire wanted to put lipstick on me; I stopped her there."

There short conversation was interrupted by the ending of the aisle, as Robin, awkwardly as he could, gave Raven's hand to Garfield, and as soon as she looked up to Garfield, one of the flower pots placed next to the alter exploded. While the rest of the Titans try to shield themselves from the ceramic pieces flying towards them, neither Garfield nor Raven batted an eye. They both were staring into each other's eyes for a time before they looked at Cyborg.

"Friends, fellow Titans," Cyborg began, reading off from a card. "We are gathered here today in the presence of ya'll, to join Raven and Garfield Logan, aka Beast Boy, in matrimony commended to be honorable among all; and therefore is not to be entered into lightly—and Raven could vouch for _that_, as we _all_ know—but reverently, passionately, lovingly and solemnly. Into this, these two Titans present now come to be joined. If any person or Titan can show just cause why they may not be joined together—if you have the guts to do it in front of Raven—let them speak now or forever hold their peace." Raven looked into Garfield's eyes as she waited.

Silence was followed by these words, much to the relief of Garfield. He had gotten this far, no way in hell would he be objected too. Raven was still staring at him, as she didn't alter her eyes away from him. The wind was picking up, and some of her loose hair that wasn't attached to her bun got caught in her face. She brushed it away with her fingers.

"Okay, now that I got that official stuff out of the way," Cyborg said, as he put the card down to his side and Raven held on tight to Garfield's hands, preparing to hear a long story which she was not interested in, but would listen to nonetheless. "I remember this dude fell in love with this girl—I swear—from the moment he met her. She was a challenge to him, which he was going to conquer. But he would fail. Time and time again." Several of the Titans chuckled at this remark. "As we all know, being a superhero and dating don't exactly mix. Not unless you have the liberty to put your guys' life on the line each time. But you guys have. Time and time again."

Garfield gulped, as he was getting a little nervous, but a small look from her reassure him everything was fine—that was until one of the flowers above them on top of the alter imploded, making flower petals showered above them.

"I remember this one time, we went into her room—yeah, I know, big mistake—but after everything was fixed and all dandy, Rae gave him a small smile, and he lit up like a firework on the Fourth of July!" Cyborg shouted out, animating their entire relationship within a short speech. "Okay, before ya'll get bored, it is time to do ya'll's vows."

"Raven…" Garfield started off with, opening up a piece of paper he had in his pocket. He was trying not to look at the paper while talking, but he _had_ to look at the paper otherwise he would get lost in his thoughts. "I promised you I wouldn't ramble on, but um…you know…I-I…have loved you for some time now…..you know _when_ that was, we've been there…but I don't need to say anything to prove to you _that_ in front of our friends….um…I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, _really_ love you…I will respect you as a person….I-I will always be your friend….and your-your dark past is now my dark past…you're not alone anymore…..."

Raven looked down at the ground, before she looked back up, staring into his eyes. He took a hold of her hands again and a series of white balloons placed around the Tower popped, making a loud noise for the other Titans, with them all covering their ears. They both ignored the noise. They were so used to random things just exploding when they were having a conversation. The other Titans weren't. They even had to put a side note on the invitations saying 'Please Reframe from Battle if You Hear Explosions; it's Only the Bride Raven Releasing her Powers'.

Garfield placed the piece of paper back in his pocket and held her hands as she took a deep breath before speaking.

"Garfield, as I've come to call you," She started off, as he gripped her hands tighter. "I never ever thought I would stand up here, wearing all white, and exchanging rings with someone I had once told…..I was afraid to love." She looked back down. "I-I…have been in love with you longer then you probably know—longer then I would admit myself. I'll say it; I love you, Garfield…I-I promise to be a little more open…not only to you, but to others. I know I am quiet and whenever I say something, I use some sarcasm, but I promise to be more sincere and less cynical…and I promise to be more sensitive to your needs….because your dark past is now _my_ dark past as well…"

Several of the flower pots exploded, with the dirt melting into the pavement afterward. By this point, the other Titans were expecting such mishaps happening, but occasionally it would catch them by surprise. There was a small silence afterward, as Cyborg didn't know if they were done yet.

"Now, do you, Garfield Logan, take this woman to be your lawful and loving wife?" Cyborg asked Garfield.

"I do." Garfield said in a calm tone, looking back at Raven.

"And do you, Raven, take this boy—I mean man—to be your lawful and loving husband? You can say 'no' if you want, we won't blame ya." Cyborg said jokingly. The other Titans laughed, even though Garfield was not amused.

"I do." Raven said looking back at Garfield, as Garfield was relieved to hear the words coming out of her mouth. She tried to hide her smile before she melted the metal rod that was supporting the altar above them, making the alter fall back behind Cyborg. Nobody could even try to ignore that, but Raven merely blushed as Garfield smiled.

"We can fix that later. Okay—now, let's see…the rings—I mean I know they're not big, but _still_. I guess tofu is expensive." Cyborg asked both Robin and Starfire. Garfield ignored Cy's comment. Garfield was given the small sapphire ring as Cyborg said looking at the card he had, "Now repeat after me, green bean, 'with this ring, I thee wed'—geeze, guys, did you get these verses from England? We live in America."

"With this ring, I thee wed." Garfield said, ignoring Cyborg by this point, as he slipped the blue stone on her finger. Raven flexed her fingers so she could get used to the metal ring. One of the banners put up near the roof entrance had caught fire, before dissolving into ashes. After the smell in the air ward off, Starfire handed Raven the sliver band for Garfield.

"Now you know what to do, Rae, 'with this ring, I thee wed.'"

"With this ring, I thee wed." She said in her monotone before she slipped the ring onto his finger. He held her hands, knowing that she was trying to hold back a lot of energy since she was putting on her monotone.

"Well, I guess I now pronounce you two husband and wife, you may kiss the bride—if you can." Cyborg said, curious to see what was going to happen. Garfield was asked several times by the boys if Rae was actually going to kiss him in front of everybody, but Garfield always said 'we'll see', making the boys even more curious afterward.

Garfield carefully lifted her sheet veil over behind her head, allowing him to see a clearer version of the lovely Raven he first saw when she walked out. It was obvious now that she had indeed been wearing makeup, but it was so soft that it was barely noticeable. It was just noticeable because he couldn't see the flawed features she had on her face.

He drew closer to her head, wrapping his arms around her neck, as she wrapped her hands around his head. He gently kissed her lips, and she began moving her mouth in every which way, as they both tried to suck the life out of each other. He dipped her down a bit and all of the Titans chair legs melted into the pavement. This forced their guest to stand up as their seats were being destroyed by the unknown force of Raven's mind. The two continued to kiss for a good solid ten seconds before they broke off. They both looked at each other with content, not only for their happiness, but for the fact that Raven had enough courage to showcase their love in front of everybody when she was called upon to do so. And he was proud of her for that. Even if they did destroyed their guests seats.

Needless to say, it was a shock to not only their guest, but to their fellow teammates, as they had never seen Raven show such passion out in front of them. She didn't look at anybody, but her mind knew that they were all looking at her, thinking 'damn, Rae's got some moves'. She blushed once again, before another flower pot exploded. They both began to walk down the aisle, with him holding onto both of her hands.

As the two of them walked down the aisle, there were a series of small explosion from the various decorations around them. Cyborg was still in shock as they walked down, before he cried out, "Uh…and may I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Logan." However, the two of them were in their own little world, not caring the fact that Cyborg wasn't even done with his part.

So off went the two of them, and off went Raven's mind, with the constant idea that Garfield was going to be expecting something from her that night, something she didn't know if she could participate in. Garfield was also thinking about that night, but he was thinking about how nervous he would be, since Rae was the type of girl who had to get used to something before she fully enjoyed it. He wanted it to be perfect the first time, but he knew that was impossible. It would be awkward at first, but the awkwardness should subside after a while.

Little did he know, he was worrying over nothing. Little did he know that Raven was not ready to be _extremely_ intimated with him and that she had her fears as well, only they were for different reasons.

After the ultimate shock of their kiss and exit, all the guests were in the living room, listening to a variety of music, with a buffet of California-grilled food plus a batch of tofu, and enjoying a whole night of socializing with their fellow teammates without the awkwardness of meeting each other at a crime scene. The initial ceremony was the only formal event for the day, other than that it was just another excuse for a low-key party at the Titans Tower.

Raven was not the party person; she was given a few gifts by her fellow Titans, had a small piece of cake, but decided to call it quits after an hour of not talking to anyone even though she was the bride. Some people _tried_ to talk to her, but she only blush and excused herself from their presence, saying that it was just an overwhelming day for her and she shouldn't exercise her emotions anymore.

She just wasn't a party person. But she allowed the night to go on; she was just done for the day. Garfield was able to get _one_ dance out of her—their slow waltz to Beethoven—before he had to socialized by himself, was handed gifts, and tried to get the other's to watch a video he had found funny on the Internet. After he was told by her that she was ready to go to bed, he told her he would follow in ten minutes.

She walked down the hallway, thinking to herself as to how she would tell him about her problem, and how he would handle it. She _wanted_ to tell him _way_ before he even proposed to her the _eleventh_ time, but she was just scared, scared that he would leave her to fulfill his own needs with someone else. However, he had managed to stay with her this long and without any promises of any kind said on her part. But he was expecting _something_ that night, something that was asked more of her then she would have liked to give.

She waited in her room on her bed, which was now _their_ room and _their_ bed. After what seemed like only two minutes instead of ten, he opened the door. And before she had a chance to say anything, he picked her up, just to show her he could do so.

Of course, she eventually told him after they started their innocent kissing session. And even though Garfield wanted to get mad, he couldn't, because he had made a vow _that_ day, that her dark past was now _his_ dark past. _That_ is what marriage was to him and if he was going to prove to Raven that she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life, he would have to hold off on his own sexual needs. But at least he was now allowed to lie in the same bed with her.

For three months, he laid beside her in bed, only touching her skin that wasn't covered up and getting more liberal with their kisses and embraces, without going any further. Not only did those three months give her a chance to study Demonic sex ritual a little more, but she gained a new sense of trust for him. He hadn't pressured her into anything for the long three months he shared her bed. By the end of the three months, she was ready, but not because it was just the right time, or because she herself began to fill the natural urge to unite with him—Lust wasn't created yet—but because she became more in love with him, if it was even possible, due to the fact that he was willing to wait for her, _even_ after they were married.

She couldn't explain in words how that made her feel—to be betrayed by so many in her past, but then to have a lover to not only respect and trust her, but also to _wait_ for her—she could only express her appreciation by giving him her virginity, even if her heart wasn't fully into it. She didn't even know if she could do so—she almost thought about letting him have a girlfriend, someone who he could play with all he wanted so that he could get by with his sexual frustration—something she admitted to herself was the _stupidest_ idea she ever thought of and was glad she never made it publically known to him…..

* * *

_Present day._

* * *

"And so—you know what happened next. I was glad we got out of there early because I heard Cyborg and Bumblebee got into a fight, because Jinx was there." Present-day Garfield said, concluding his long account of their wedding day.

They were both laying on the bed, with his arms around her waist, her hair getting caught in his mouth sometimes, as she flipped through the album, while he narrated every picture for her. The thoughts of Trigon had gradually vanished as he recounted the events that happened on their day. He kissed the back of her head as she turned to the last page.

"Is that head of yours empty?" He asked, holding her tighter. "You're not thinking about your fath—I'm mean Trigon?" Silence fell between them. He couldn't see her face and so he had to assume her expression was sad. However, when she turned around to face him, with the album in her arms, she was smiling.

"Who?" She asked, closing her eyes and squeezing the album tighter in her arms. He held her tighter as he rested his head on top of hers'.

They lay there in silence for a good five solid minutes. She didn't get to hear their wedding tale that often; he only brought out the album when he could see her falling into a depression. Many times he wanted to take it out when she was still deciding whether she wanted to keep Lydia, or hold her, or whenever Robin had gotten on her nerves during her pregnancy, but he would forget to when it really mattered.

The last time he took it out is when they started to discuss about Lydia going to Azarath for a few years when Raven couldn't help her through her meditation. And while that plan never materialized into anything—even though it was still a possibly as she was still young—looking at the wedding album eased Rae's pain. It was also good for the Tower, as it silence her emotions from taking a toll on the structure.

She then broke his embrace, set the album down by his side, as she went back to her books, searching for answers to Garfield's question: was there any danger in being _too_ intimate with a human? However, her mind was cleared; her eyes were actually reading and understanding the words instead of glazing through them with a half-dead expression.

Just as Garfield was about to put the album back and start their very late lunch, Lydia's young eyes peaked through their door. Raven looked up quick with her head still down before she went back to her book. Garfield motioned for Lydia to come in.

She was wearing a simple yellow dress with long sleeves, as the weather was still cold, with her hair in a neat pony tail. Her charka was getting a little irritating in this weather as the gem would gradually get cold and occasionally she would pick at it. She came in running and jumped up on the bed. She noticed the white photo album sitting next to her father.

Noticing the direction of her eye, he opened up the album to show her how her mother and he looked before she was born. Raven continued to read, as her green companion retold his whole story again, but to a different audience, and one who wasn't there that day. Of course, it would be a shorter version for he couldn't talk about the adult theme's he and Rae were thinking of that day, but it was still nice background noise while she was study.

"Now, here is Mama getting dressed, using her powers while Aunty Star takes a picture," He said as Lydia crawled on his lap. "The flowers she is wearing in her hair are called 'lavenders'."

"Not daisies'?" Lydia asked. "I like daisies. I think they would look better on Mama then 'lav-in-ders'."

"Yes, well, Mama wanted lavenders because they match her hair. Remember, you weren't here to tell Mama how she should dress. She likes lavenders and that's what she chose." Garfield said.

"Well, I think daisies would look better." Lydia said, mesmerizes by her mother's dress.

"Well, _I_ like lavenders." He said. He couldn't see it, but Raven grinned.

I'LL THINK I'LL SEE HARRY POTTER AGAIN EITHER THIS WEEK OR NEXT WEEK.


	24. Worries

I HATE MY BOSS. I WORK IN A RETAIL STORE, IN THE FOOD COURT. SO, THERE WERE ONLY FIVE OF US, INCLUDING MYSELF, AND THAT WAS ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH THE WEEK UNLESS TWO PEOPLE CALLED IN SICK. BUT NOW, ONE OF OUR TEAMMATES GOT A JOB OFFER SOMEWHERE ELSE, AND THERE ARE ONLY FOUR OF US. MY SCARY BOSS INCLUDED. SO MY HOURS GOT EXTENDED, AND I START SCHOOL IN TWO WEEKS. I HATE MY BOSS, NOW I HAVE TO WORK WITH HER MORE. I ALREADY DID MY TIME FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS.

Two weeks went by and Raven was deep in her books. She had spent the better part of the week sitting in her room, drinking tea, and only going out of her room for dinner or when she was needed on the team. Most of the time Garfield was sitting beside her, listening to her every word when she spoke.

Usually he wouldn't be so desperate for an answer so soon, as he knew Raven would _always_ find an answer, even if it was an unfavorable answer, but this time he just feared for the worst. He couldn't figure it out, but something about Lust being _over_active was worst then Lust being _under_active. Maybe he was finally becoming wiser as he got older. Maybe. But whatever the motive was, besides his unconditional love, it was taking a toll on his health.

There were nights when he simply just couldn't sleep, tossing and turning until he was forced to sit up and stare at the darkness surrounding him. She would sometimes wake up because of him constantly moving the bed, asking him what was wrong, which he would respond with 'nothing'. Of course she knew he was lying.

"I'm just under a little bit of stress." He would respond, sensing she didn't believe his first comment.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed, in the middle of the night, wearing only his sweatpants. Try as she might, she couldn't ease his tension _every_ single night. She had the power to make him feel happy, even when he wasn't, but it could only last so long before he would feel that empty feeling again. He had more things on his mind other then Raven; he was just worried about the future, Lydia's growth and his own mortality.

Raven sat up on the bed and gracefully held onto his shoulder. He sensed the black energy she released as she did so, trying to ease his suffering. He closed his eyes and sigh with relief as he felt better emotionally. When she let go, he grabbed her hand, and rubbed what little parts he could. She climbed over the sheets to get closer to him, as she put her other hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, but it will only last me for so long." He said, grateful at the current moment for the powers she had. "You're not just a healer of wounds and bruises, but a healer of hearts too."

"Some would say otherwise. I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with." She said, smirking, before his sour face made her smile fade. "I'll find an answer. You haven't been eating regularly and now you're having trouble sleeping. Don't worry so much, Garfield, or you'll wear yourself out."

"I can't help it, I worry." He said and all she could do was continued to comfort him until he would feel drowsy enough to go to sleep.

* * *

Five days later, Raven persuaded him to attend to Lydia's needs more than her own, by stating that he should get out of the Tower more or at least out of her room more, if only it could ease his mind. After all, it was Garfield who wanted answers this time. So, Garfield had started Lydia's education, setting up her class sessions in the living room, trying to get the basic subjects down before he could hire a full-time teacher from the city. Lydia objected to a stranger teaching her, but it fell on deaf ears as Garfield was more concern about Raven then he was about Lydia, with him only focusing on the lesson at hand.

Starfire was forced to listen as she was feeding Bruce in the kitchen. Robin was once again absence, claiming that he was getting more formula for Bruce even though he was just trying to avoid a confrontation with her. Cyborg was given the task of updating the training equipment, as time had seemed to harden the metal bars and damaged the mats placed down for practicing combat.

"Okay, what's this?" Garfield asked, sitting on the floor with Lydia, holding up a card with the letter 'K' on it.

" 'K'." Lydia replied.

"What sound does it make?"

" 'ka'."

"What animal starts with the letter 'K'?"

"Cat?" She asked. He shook his head.

"No, that's starts with a 'C'. Remember, you already used that."

"Kitten?"

"Hmm. That's correct. A kitten _is_ a baby cat though, but I was thinking more like 'kangaroo'. You know, a different animal." He said as he put the card back and began shuffling the deck.

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?"

"Can Mama be my teacher instead of someone else?" His chest started to burn with pain. He clasped his shirt, hoping it would stop. After a few seconds, he was well again and looked up to Lydia.

"Mmmm, I don't know. Mama and I have already started the search for a nice teacher for you. And what happens if Mama has to go to work while she teaches you?" He said, sorting out the cards he had in his hand.

"Then _you_ can teach me when she does."

"The state of California will not let me teach you, because I do not qualify as a teacher. If kids are homeschooled by their parents, the parents must be smart enough to teach, but I'm not smart enough."

"Why?"

"I never completed my education."

"Why?"

"It's complicated. One of the reasons was that I didn't have a teacher. My parents couldn't afford a teacher; we were out digging up dirt in Africa. This is why I am getting _you_ one. I want you to be smarter than me; I want you to be as smart as Mama. She learned _many_ things in her _many_ years of school. We can now afford a teacher for you." He said, remembering Raven's strict upbringing and while he envied her brain, he pitied that she had to be taught in such a harsh environment. But she insisted that it was for the best, as she was the daughter of Trigon and her emotions must be suppress. "But maybe Mama can teach you a little, before we get the teacher. So, you would feel more comfortable."

"Is that what Mama is doing all this time? Is she studying to be a teacher?" She asked. Garfield shuffled his cards once more. He again felt that burning pain in his chest. "Daddy?"

"Um….she is reading her books because she likes to read." He said, avoiding Lydia's eye contact. He clasped onto his shirt again, hoping that the pain would once again subside.

"But she hasn't come out of your room for a while."

"Lydia, sometimes things are between grownups."

He was getting a little irritated with Lydia's constant questions and her inquiries about everybody else's business, but her own. Man, he questioned whether _he_ was this irritating when he was first on the team? He could now understand his teammate's annoyance with him. Her questions wouldn't be this irritating if only his chest would settle down. It had been bothering him all day and he thought it would it was just indigestion, but it seemed the pain was only getting worst the more he _wasn't_ by Raven's side. At least, that was _his_ reasoning.

"But Daddy, if she likes to read, why does she look sad when she is—"

"—She's focusing—"

"—Focusing on what?—"

"—How many times have I told you not to ask so many questions when I give you an answer? She is reading because she likes to read!" He unintentionally shouted out. His worries about Raven were getting to him and he was taking his frustration out on his daughter. He clutch harder on his chest. Lydia widened her eyes and looked down before looking back up.

"I didn't mean to Daddy." She said quietly. Garfield looked down at his timid daughter. Starfire, who was standing quietly in the kitchen, looked at the scene played out in the living room.

"Perhaps," Starfire said as she walked towards them, holding her chubby Bruce in her hands. He was happily trying to eat his fist, drooling all over his hand and Starfire's arm. "Perhaps Lydia would like to play with her cousin for a while. She needs a break."

"A break. Yes…a break." Garfield said, realizing how much he had damage Lydia's self esteem by yelling at her. He got up and kissed Lydia's forehead before making his way to Starfire. "Thank you." He whispered, his breathing becoming heavy, as he walked out to make his way to his room, still clutching onto his chest.

"Now," Starfire said as she put Bruce down on the floor so Lydia could play with him. He was wearing a red shirt, with his diaper hanging out. Lydia loved to play with his narrow eyes and his now full set of thick black hair, with his one brown highlight. "Can you help me Lydia to make him smile?"

Lydia looked at the chubby baby, whose smile became wider as she began making silly faces to him and kicking his feet up high in the air. Starfire smiled and looked back at the hallway door, wondering if Garfield was alright.

* * *

"Raven!" Garfield said opening up their door, in a state of panicked.

Raven was just settling down with her second volume on Azarath meditations when Garfield had barged in. He was sweating, as it became apparent he had been running.

"Garfield? What's wrong, why are you breathing so heavy? Why are you sweating?" She asked, putting her book down and racing to his side. He was bending down, as he felt another heavy pain in his chest. This time he let out a grunt as the pain was getting to him.

"I…just was…worried…it's been…over a week….and….Ly…..dia….." He said as he bent down to his knees and sat down, wincing at the pain. She bent down with him and put a hand over his shoulder. Widening her eyes, she carefully picked him up with her arms and set him down on their bed. His breathing was getting shorter by each word he spoke. She took a deep breath in and exhaled it out slowly, trying to remain calm. "Ra…ven….what…..are….."

"Shh. Don't say another word." She said, putting a finger on his mouth and trying to speak as calmly as she could. She looked over his body. He wasn't sure what was going on as he felt a stinging pain in his left arm. He raised his head up before she gently pushed it down. "Don't. Stay down. You're having a heart attack."

"What?..." She put her hand on his forehead, trying to relax him.

"No. No. Don't get up. I'm going to ease the pain. I'm going to settle down your heart." She said with her voice calm, but he could tell she was panicking herself, as her own breathing was getting heavy as well. As subtle as it was, he could hear the panting in between her sentences. She closed her eyes and put her hands gently on his abdomen, releasing her black energy on him.

"Rae…." He said after a few seconds, continuing to exhale hard.

"Shh…." She whispered, continuing to release her power on him.

His breathing began to subside and he started to become tired the more energy she released. He closed his eyes and tried to reach for her hand. When she felt his hand, she grabbed onto it and continued to heal him. She could feel her energy trying to lift the heavy plaque blocking his bloodline in his heart, trying to get the blood flowing again. She had never pictured Garfield, someone who constantly ate fruits, vegetables, and enormous amounts of tofu as well as exercise on a regular basis's would have such an unfortunate common non-hero health problem.

Anyway, she couldn't think of that, she had to focus on healing him, and helping his blood flow properly again. After two minutes concentrating on his injured organ, she let go of his hand, certain that the worst was over. But her own heart was heavy, although she herself was well in health, she wasn't well in spirits. She kneeled down on the foot of the bed and held onto his hand as tight as possible. She rested her head on the edge of the bed, trying to suppress the urge to cry. She was successful in her attempt, but her face was still cringing.

"Garfield…..what has caused you to have this much stress?" She asked herself, she had to conclude to herself that the cause was stress, because nothing else made sense why he would have a heart attack. "Was it because I was reading? Because I have been doing that for you. You were right though…I did find something. Something that wouldn't give you a solution, but one that would ease your mind. At least for now. You shouldn't worry about something like this, it's not healthy. Garfield….." She said, looking at his calm expression as he slept.

She touched his soft cheek with the back of her hand. She wanted to let out a tear, but knew she couldn't or he would wake up from the explosion. She sat there in silence with her wounded lover, for about a solid twenty minutes before he started to wake up.

"Rae? Raven?" He said, trying to get up, but she gently pushed him back down. She stood up and sat on the edge of the bed, still holding onto his hand.

"Shh…you need your rest. You just had a heart attack a little under a half an hour ago, don't move." She said, looking into his eyes as she brushed his damp hair away. "Garfield, what happened?"

"I was worried about your studying and-and Lydia asked me why you were locked in your room. I panicked and…"

"And you haven't been taking care of yourself." She concluded for him. She sniffled as she was trying to hide her tears. He looked at her.

"Oh…..Rae…..I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you….." He said, holding onto her hand tighter, almost cutting off both their circulation.

"No, no, don't. Don't worry about me. You need to calm down. I'll be fine."

"Wait! A heart attack? Am I alright?" He asked, now realizing what she had said moments ago. He wanted to make sure Raven was alright first before he tended to his own needs.

"Shh…..calm down. Yes, you're fine now, but please stay right where you are. You need your rest. I should probably transport you to the infirmary for better examinations—"

"—No. I'm fine here." He interrupted. His breathing was still a little rapid, but it was better than it was before. "You remember the time when we were both in the infirmary, because my beast form attacked you…."

"Yes. I know it so well." She said sadly looking down.

"Okay Rae—let's not get into that right now. Because what I was trying to say was that the best medicine for me was when you woke up. I started eating again and sleeping right. I rather be close to you then in a strange place with uncomfortable mattresses. I like our own bed."

"Garfield, you're not thinking clearly." She said in a soft tone. She put a hand on his forehead, with him grasping it. His body was very warm. He was arguing with her and she was forced to make her opinion known. "I rather have you in a room hooked up to machines then lying here. Yes, I know, you rather stay here—but it's not healthy to rely on me. It wasn't healthy when you weren't eating while I was comatose, but I wasn't able to take charge then; now I can. You're going to the infirmary and that's final."

"What about the time when someone attacked the Tower and you thought I was dead—"

"—I was an emotional wreck; I was being selfish thinking _I_ can only heal you. Plus, I had to attend to Lydia at the same time. But no…this isn't like last time." She teleported a bowl of water and a small cloth into the room, making it hovered above the bed. She dipped the cloth in the water and gently pressed the fabric on his forehead. "You were seriously injured, and even though you are fine now, the recovering process will have to take some time, as your heart repairs itself."

"Then why haven't you teleported me to the infirmary yet?" He said, noticing that she was rubbing the wet cloth on his forehead rather slowly.

"Right now…._I'm_ not thinking clearly." She said. "But at least I have enough sense to admit it."

"But not enough will-power to stop it."

"Are you _trying_ to argue with me?"

"Maybe." He said mischievously before he winced at the cold water dripping down his face. She wiped it away with her warm fingers. "I mean, if you want my heart to get better, this is one way: arguing with you. It always sooths me."

"But it drives me crazy."

"Well, at least you _feel_ something when I do it." He said, grabbing her soaked hand. She raised an eyebrow, but refused to smile.

"You're horrible." She said as she continued to rub his forehead with the damp cloth. She kept her glaze down, while he stared at her close lids.

He took a deep breath in and out, and began to think to himself as he knew she would hear him. She didn't look up, but merely slowed down her work as he could tell she was concentrating on his thoughts and being astonished by what she heard. He was taking joy out of watching her expression changed from sadness and then faded into slight surprise. She continued to listen to him, even though she was focused on being his nurse for the moment, and after a few minutes, she stopped her task at hand, and looked into his eyes. She gave him a small grin and then went back to her work, this time looking into his eyes as she did so.

"There, I smiled. I hope that satisfies you." She said quietly, pressing the damp cloth harder on his brow. He closed his eyes.

* * *

Several hours later, Garfield was transported to the infirmary, with the rest of the team notified. The Titans didn't know how to react to a heart attack. Even though crime seemed to happened every day and they were out at least once a week risking their own lives, a heart attack reminded them of their own mortally. It reminded them that they were all getting old and some day they would all be too old to continued fighting crime and would have to retire. But Raven snapped them out of that phase, explaining to them that it had nothing to do with crime fighting.

She was a little irritated that the others' were turning Garfield's pain into their 'potential' future. But she knew that it was only natural, seeing as they did not know how to handle the situation and were only indulging in selfish feelings as a defense mechanism from their real feelings. She stayed by his side, holding his hand, with Lydia sitting on her lap, as Cyborg looked at his charts. Starfire and Robin were both out in the hallway, with her holding Bruce, as he held onto her hand. He wouldn't normally be this close to her at this time or hold her hand, since they were still arguing, but Garfield's attack had forced them to find comfort in each other's arms. After a few more minutes, Cyborg walked out of the room, with a clipboard in his hands, closing the door only half-way so he wouldn't be overheard by Lydia and possibly Raven as well.

"Well?" Robin asked him. Cyborg looked down at Robin's hand, tightly interlaced with Starfire's. "Cyborg?"

"Oh—Well, it appears to be from stress." He said, looking back up to Robin's masked face. "I don't know what else to tell you. It was stress. _Extreme_ stress. And since he hasn't been on the team for quite some time, not enough exercise, it was easy for his heart to clot up so tightly."

"Stress? Stress?" Robin asked, trying to keep his voice down, as he could see Raven flinched from the noise outside. "Stress? What kind of stress? I know he hasn't been on the team for a while, but it has been years since he has made the transition and I have seen him work out occasionally from time to time."

"I think Raven knows more about that then I do. She was there with him when it happened. Even with these numbers I'm holding, I can tell you what's in his body, but not what he is _thinking_." Cyborg said, giving Robin the clipboard. Robin looked through the charts. "Well?"

"These don't tell me anything new." He said. He looked up to Cyborg. "Exactly what _did_ Raven say? What does Beast Boy remember?"

"Robin, you should give them some time before you talk to them." Starfire intervened, bouncing Bruce up and down with her arms. The happy baby didn't know what was going on around him to put on a sad face.

"Star, they may be a couple, but he is still our friend. Raven is not exactly the most….talkative person. I don't know if I can believe half of what she tells us. At least Beast Boy can tell us exactly what is wrong with Raven when the time comes."

"You know if friend Raven has something important to tell us about Beast Boy, she would not keep it to herself. She is _more_ open than that." Starfire replied back.

"Why are you so harsh on her? You used to be her closest friend." Cyborg said. Robin merely scoffed, looking at the charts again. "Oh. Is that why you're so harsh? Because Beast Boy is now her best friend?"

"Yes." Starfire said. "You did not know that?" Cyborg looked at her astonished. "Robin has a small problem with letting go. It is what you call a 'grudge'."

"Well, I wasn't aware of this. Man, I get out too much to learn about the new drama rising on in Titans Tower."

"It's not really drama, as more of an irritation I have." Robin said quietly. "Before she went out with him, she was focused, calm, collected. But now—"

"—But she wasn't really happy." Cyborg interrupted. "And you know that. I think you just want you and Star to be the only couple in the Tower—"

"—Please, friends, let us not argue about this. Friend Cyborg, with much due respect, this is not really a concern of yours. It is mine." Starfire said, trying to keep Bruce occupied by bouncing him up and down. "Do not mind what he says. He only wants the best of his friends' and he sometimes becomes….what is the word, 'sidetrack'." Robin was surprised by her defending him. He gave her a smile and she lowered her eyes to show him that she approved.

"Okay. When can we intervene?" Robin asked Cyborg.

"Give him a day. Or two." He said. "I don't think his blood pressure is up for questions just yet. So far, the only thing he is telling me is that he doesn't want Rae to leave his side. That's it. I couldn't reason with him."

"Okay. I guess there's nothing we can do now right now." Robin said, before he sighed. "His charts say he's stable now. A bit of a high blood pressure, but stable nonetheless. I want you to check up on him before you go to bed and then ask him questions tomorrow." He told Cyborg, giving him back the clipboard. "And make sure Raven eats something. I'm afraid she's only had breakfast."

Cyborg went back into the infirmary and closed the door, to give the Logan's some privacy. Robin kept staring at the close door, thinking about all the events that happened that day. He started to walk towards the elevator doors, before Starfire put a hand on his shoulder.

"Robin." She said softly. He turned around, unprepared to talk to her. He looked at his son, grabbing his wife's hair and putting it in his mouth, before he looked back at Starfire. "Don't beat yourself up. I _know_ you blame yourself, for not being here or for not seeing this happened earlier. I'm sure—I'm sure friend Raven can explain everything. After all, friend Beast Boy isn't the only person who looks after someone, I _know_ she looks after him too. Even if she doesn't show it all the time."

Robin looked down somberly, not knowing what to say. He looked back up and grabbed Bruce out of her hands, bouncing him up and down just as Starfire had done earlier. He looked at Bruce's smiling face, as Bruce was trying to rip his mask off. Robin was amused by this, even though Bruce was hurting him, and he kept bouncing him up and down.

"And," Starfire spoke up, as she looked down. "_I_ am not the _only_ person who looks after Bruce. Even when that _certain_ someone doesn't show it all the time." She said smiling. Robin looked up at her.

"I'm sorry." He said. He wanted to say more, but he couldn't come up with anything else. He wasn't the greatest at apologies, however, he didn't need to be, since she took his words to heart, and he only had to say so little to get a reaction out of her.

"I….must admit as well, that my Tamaranean ways might be a little extreme for someone who is not used to them. I guess—no, I know, that I am sorry as well." She said, looking back up to him.

"Well, we can do that whole 'honoring the sun' ritual on him. It doesn't sound like it would hurt to try."

"And I guess Earth clothes would look better on him then homemade Tamaranean outfits."

"Come on," He said, offering his spare arm. "It's almost dinner and if we hurry, we can get a good spot on the dock at that restaurant."

"What about Bruce? I can't—"

"I'll look after Bruce tonight." He said. She smiled and wrapped her arm around his, walking off with him to the elevator doors.

* * *

"Rae, you ate something, right?" Cyborg asked. She had been staring at Garfield's sleeping body for about many hours now. She was thankful for the fact that Lydia wasn't asking any questions; otherwise she would have to deal with two things at once. It took a while for Raven to realized Cyborg had just asked her something, and when she finally heard him with her delay hearing, she looked up to him.

"Yes. I had tea." She said, before looking back at Garfield. She slowly grabbed his hands, making sure she wouldn't feel anything extreme when doing so. She didn't, and so she continued to hold onto him tight. Occasionally, Lydia would reach out and pat on his green skin, thinking that maybe her touch was just like medicine. At least she had been told that her touch would _soon_ be just like medicine.

Cyborg wasn't satisfied with her respond, as tea wasn't a solid food, but he didn't see any point in arguing with her. It was the strangest thing; Raven and Garfield were two completely different people and yet Raven had the same somber and dead expression as Garfield did the time when _Raven_ was the one comatose. However, he wasn't comatose this time, just barely getting by on what Raven had cured him of. Cyborg couldn't talk any sense into Garfield when Raven was the one on the bed and so he knew he couldn't talk any sense into Raven, even if she was a little more reasonable.

Cyborg couldn't help, but be a little stunned. How had he not found love yet? The two most impossible people in the world, one of them who was too immature to ever date a girl and the other who would always say she would refuse to love, had found each other, and yet Cyborg, was the one left hung to dry by all the women in his life? Irony, be thy name.

He couldn't think that either Jinx or Bumblebee would ever feel this amount of emotion, or at least lack of, if _he_ were injured. Or maybe they would and he just assumed they wouldn't. Maybe he was _pushing_ them away whenever he felt anything more for them. Maybe he was more focused on the team; after all he knew he was second-in-command as Raven had turned down that position because she felt she would become too overwhelm by her emotions if she were to ever be a leader of any kind. Maybe.

Right now, he had a different priority to think about. He quietly walked out of the room, leaving Raven to ponder to herself alone. Ten minutes went by, before he walked back in the room, holding a tray that consisted of a single waffle on the plate, a hot pot of water, a mug and a couple of tea bags on the side. He put the tray down on Garfield's side table. The smell forced her to look up to Cyborg.

"Robin wants to make sure you eat something and I know how much you love waffles. And I kind of figured you wouldn't eat anything without your daily tea." He said, pointing to the various items on the tray. She looked at the tray, before looking back at Garfield. "He's going to be fine."

"Yes, he will be." She simply said, trying to imply that she was fine, but her face told him otherwise. Cyborg took a seat next to her.

"But you won't eat anything?" He asked.

"I will. Thank you."

"Rae?"

"Cyborg, could you be a great Uncle and make Lydia her dinner?" She asked him without taking her eyes off Garfield, as she grabbed Lydia and handed her off to him. "Could you please?" She asked, looking at him with her deadpan eyes.

"Sure." He said, as he just couldn't refuse her dark violet's peering into his soul. He looked at Lydia and asked her, "What would you like to eat?" She kept her eyes on her mother, who in turn returned her gazed to Garfield. "Lydia?"

"Just make her favorite food." Raven said, looking back at Cyborg. "She's done a little bit of meditation before you came in, to keep her stable. I told her the best way to repress one's emotions is to stay quiet, for as long as possible. I think she's taken a vow of silence for her father."

Lydia looked back to Cyborg, implying that her mother was correct, without actually smiling at him. It was a bit unusual for Cyborg to see Lydia act as emotionless as her mother. Even though he was tempted to make her smile, he feared that it wasn't the most appropriate thing to do at the moment.

As Cyborg walked across the room, with Raven's eyes following them, Lydia put her thumb in her mouth. Before she had even a second to try and suck it, she caught her mother's eye, and took her thumb out. She perched her head up and shook her head from side to side, trying to search for anything that would replace her thumb.

Sensing this, Raven responded to her with, "Your blanket is in the living room."

Lydia nodded to her mother and then placed her head on Cyborg's shoulder. Raven watched them leave, before she went back to staring at her green companion. She _also_ had somewhat taken a vow of silence, that is silent until she was forced to speak. And then she went back to being silent. She would be silent, as long as he slept or until someone asked her to speak.

She flexed her hands, which were rested in her lap, and swallowed a mouth full of left over spit which was a side effect from dehydration. She hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, as Garfield's heart attack happened before noon. She did have a cup of tea after she had brought him in, but liquid only went so far. She was hungry.

She used her powers to retrieve the plate, ultensils, and the hot cup of water and placed them hovering above her lap. Without taking her eyes off of Garfield, she used her black energy to rip the teabags open and place it in the hot cup and used the fork and knife to cut the waffle into reasonable sizes. As unenthusiastically as she could, she opened her mouth and began eating the lonesome waffle. There. She could safely say that she _did_ eat something.

It wasn't as if she was being dreadfully miserable on purpose. She couldn't afford to be dramatic. She just _knew_ it was Timid, taking advantage of an opportunity to come out. She didn't _completely_ blame Timid.

_Curious_, she thought to herself. _I told him it wasn't healthy to be this melodramatic when I was comatose. So, why am I acting like this now? Why don't I have the desire to eat, to sleep, or even to meditate. Meditation always relaxes me and yet I do not wish to even try to become relaxed. Curious. I know he is going to be fine and yet I continued to act like a zombie. Why? I know better._

But try as she might, Timid was very strong, and since she didn't want to meditate, she only allow Timid to grow stronger. Timid was powerful that way; she could make Raven not _want_ to meditate.

After she ate the last bite of the waffle, she put everything back on the side table. She watched as he breathed irregularly, inhaling and exhaling as deeply as one could. All she could do was sit quietly and stare at him, not the most enjoyable activity for her, but one that did the least amount of damage. If Timid had her way, she would read some dark poetry and sit outside to brood about the whole situation. No. Staying by Garfield's side was the best thing for her at the moment.

I GUESS I'LL MAKE SOME SERIOUS CASH IN THE FOLLOWING WEEKS, BUT STILL, I WISH THERE WAS STILL FIVE OF US INSTEAD OF FOUR OF US. IF ONE PERSON GOES ON VACATION, WE'RE ALL SCREWED BECAUSE IT REQUIRES AT LEAST THREE PEOPLE TO MAN THE FOOD COURT THROUGHOUT THE DAY (MORNING, MID-SHIFT, CLOSING). OY.


	25. Shadowed Confessions

I KNOW YOU ALL MEAN WELL, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT WHOLE RANT OF MY BOSS. SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT FANFICTION IS, I DOUBT SHE EVEN KNOWS WHAT TEEN TITANS IS; SHE'S AN OLD ASIAN WHO LIVED IN ANOTHER COUNTRY FOR MANY YEARS BEFORE MOVING TO AMERICA, I DOUBT SHE EVEN READS ENGLISH AT HOME. BESIDE'S, WE'VE ALL COMPLAINED ABOUT HER BEFORE. SHE'S NOT MY MAJOR BOSS, SHE'S MY SUPERVISER. MY _REAL_ BOSSES ALL LOVE ME. ESPECIALLY SINCE I TOOK THE JOB NOBODY ELSE IN THE WHOLE STORE WANTED: BEING IN THE FOOD COURT. ONE OF THE GIRLS IN MY DEPARTMENT GOT A JOB OFFER AT ANOTHER STORE, SO NOW THERE ARE ONLY FOUR OF US WORKING THERE, MYSELF INCLUDED. I'VE BEEN WORKING NON-STOP ALL THIS WEEK AND WAS ONLY ABLE TO WRITE A PAGE A DAY SINCE I GET KEPT UP WITH INTERNET STUFF. AND MAYBE WRITER'S BLOCK. AND MAYBE I'M LAZY. AT LEAST I'M COMPLAINING ABOUT WORKING _TOO_ MUCH, WHILE I KNOW OTHER'S MAY NOT HAVE THE SAME LUCK AS SAYING SO. I WAS LUCKY; I APPLIED AS SOON AS I TURNED SIXTEEN, BACK IN '06, WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE IN MY CLASS JUST EXPECTED A JOB AS SOON AS THEY GRADUATED. THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE WAITED, BUT I WAS JUST THIS WORKACHOLIC WHO WANTED A JOB AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO SUPPORT MYSELF; OTHER'S DON'T HAVE THAT SAME MOTIVATION, THAT AND THAT THEY WAITED TOO LONG WHEN THE MARKET CRASHED, WAS THEIR UNDOING.

The next day, Garfield had woken up early in the morning. He tossed the blanket by his side as he looked around the room; he was wearing only the cheap hospital clothing that barely covered him up. He saw Raven, in the bed next to his, sleeping with her back turned to him. He smiled, as she let out a soft snore. He slowly lifted up from the bed, trying not to pull on the needles that were inserted in him.

He wanted to get out of bed, but knew he couldn't. He slowly and gently sat up, turned to face Raven, and then slowly put his feet down on the floor below him. As he tried to stand, his bed made a loud creaky noise, which made Raven stir in her sleep. He scolded under his breath, as he felt the bed was outdated and wondered why Robin wouldn't get new mattresses for the infirmary. But his own cursing was what caused Raven to toss to her side, causing her to wake up. She turned to her other side, wondering if she would sleep better, with her eyes barely opened. When she did this, she saw Garfield.

"Garfield!" She said surprised, tossing her own blankets to the side to get out of bed. She stood up, in her night attire, stopping herself short from running and jumping up to him. They stood there awkwardly for a minute with the only sound heard being his heart monitor. After composing herself, she walked over to his side, trying to hide Timid from him.

"How's Lydia?" Was all he could ask, as she persuaded his body to lie back down with her hand. She sat down on the bed next to him, her eyes scanning his face and body to see if she could find any place for her to relieve him of pain. "Rae?"

"Lydia's fine." She said, releasing her black energy on his arm which was developing a small infection on it due to the needle. "Cyborg babysat both her and Bruce while Robin and Starfire went out. When they came home, they were glad to have Lydia sleep with them in their room for the night, as they thought that maybe being close to Bruce would cheer her up and not make her _feel_ too much."

He flinched as she cleared away the small infection on his arm. Her touch had the same effect as burning alcohol, but then it would cool down to feel like aloe vera. She massaged his arm, just to comfort herself.

"And how are you?" He asked, grabbing her hand that was massaging him.

"Fine." She said, looking into his eyes. "Barely." She accidently let slip out. Something broke in the room, but it was too dark to find out what it was.

"That didn't sound fine." He said, looking around the room to find the broken item.

"What do you want me to say?" She said softly.

"The truth; what you are feeling." He said.

"I don't know what I could say that won't be taken the wrong way."

"The wrong way?"

"You have a tendency to feel guilty when I get upset about something, even if you didn't cause it. I don't want you to take responsibility for what _I_ feel." She said in her monotone. "I am the way I am before you came into my life."

"But I just want to make it easier because I know how _I_ complicated your emotions more. Don't act like I am not aware of it myself, I'm just wary of anything that upsets you." He said, allowing her to continue to massage his arm. "Please. Just be honest; you're mad at me for making you _feel_ too much and of having to handle a difficult situation."

She didn't say anything, but looked back down at his arm, pretending she was more interested in the massage she was giving him.

"Okay, I guess I was expecting that answer. I did act a bit dramatic when I walked into our room, with me breathing like that."

"Dramatic?" She snapped with her voice in a very low, harsh tone, her eyes glaring at him. "You were having a heart attack. I know you like to be a jokester, but now is not a time to act like a clown! You nearly scared me to death and _I_ can't feel that _way_!"

She yanked his arm toward her at the word 'way' and somewhere in the room, a piece of glass shattered. She widened her eyes, realizing she had not meant to expressed her feelings, and if she did, she would not have expressed them so strongly.

"I'm sorry." She said, looking down.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm actually glad you did that." He said, grabbing her hands. "We've been together for a long time, but sometimes I just need reassurances that you're feeling _something_. Even if you don't want to feel at all. You're still human."

"You _are_ too, despite your shape-shifting abilities. What were you thinking about all those nights staying up? About me? Or something else? Why weren't you eating right? It just can't be me alone you're worried about; you've been worried about me for a lifetime."

"And I think all that worrying has finally caught up with me." He said.

"Has finally caught up with you?" She said, standing up, clenching her fists.

"Rae, don't—"

"—No, I will." She said, wagging her finger at him. She was putting up her defenses because she didn't like the answer he was giving her. She knew it was something more, but his mind wasn't giving her any hints, because he blocked it with a song stuck in his head. "It's not as if we rushed into anything—"

"—Rae—"

"—Maybe before, I didn't know how to properly tackle the issue of….Lust. But I do now. And _now_ I know what it was. But that is the _least_ of _my_ worries—"

"—Rae, I knew you would have found the answer, but—" Waving his arms in defense.

"—But, you managed to doubt me anyway and continued to stress out—"

"—What? I just told you that I knew you would have…you're not making any sense right now—"

"—I'm not the one who almost killed myself…..!" She unintentionally shouted, allowing herself to take few deep breaths before she realized what she had said. Another piece of glass broke somewhere in the room, but she didn't care about it. "I'm sorry, I know better." She said, turning around so he could barely see her as she was covered in the darkness. "It's just that, I know you say it's unhealthy to keep my emotions bottled up, but I've learned that it is also unhealthy to allow your emotions to get the better of you and you have allowed them to take over your life, to the point it almost claimed you as its victim." He could hear her shuffling her feet back and forth.

He allowed some silence to past between them, allowing her to collect her thoughts before he decided speak.

"You know," He said, looking down at his own hands in his lap, chuckling a bit. "It's funny, when you think of it."

"Think of _it_? Think of _what_? Funny _how_?" Her voice asked somewhere in the darkness.

"It's funny that," He said, looking out towards the direction of her bed. Even though he couldn't see anything, he was hoping he could make out her silhouette in the dark. "I'm here asking you how you feel and you say that you don't want to offend _me_, so you keep it a secret and lashed out at me. Meanwhile, I won't tell you exactly what I was _really_ thinking over and over again, because I don't want to offend _you_, so I keep it a secret, and you still end up lashing out at me. We're both cowards about telling each other how we feel and what is motivating that feeling; maybe Robin _is_ right when he says that we're too 'high school' for him."

"Well, you have an advantage over me, you already know that I—"

"But _I_ think _you_ have the advantage, because you know what I am thinking—"

"—Not right now, I'm not concentrating—"

"—Well, then concentrate." He said in a begging manner. He heard her shift her feet and began walking. He could then see her body slowly descending towards him. She took back her spot on his bed, sat next to him, and gripped his hand firmly.

"No. I want _you_ to tell _me_. And I'll tell you mine." She said, looking into his eyes. "I have told you time and time again to take care of yourself, but I think you didn't take the caution seriously. Now, this heart attack should give you some idea of what can happen when you allow your emotions to run your life. That is what I was thinking, that is what I was feeling. I warned you, _begged_ you not to feel this way, but you still did. And I feel betrayed by you. As small as this feeling is, and it is _very_ small, I _still_ feel betrayed." She said in her monotone, before looking down. He couldn't defend himself for that, for she was right. "There, I have told you my piece, now tell me yours. What was the major cause of your stress? Tell me directly to my face, not in my head."

She had a way of getting her teammates to come to compromises, of bringing a sensible perspective on an issue, and not letting it alter her outlook on a dire situation. She had felt betrayed by him and that word was a heavy word to hear from her. Betrayal meant a lot of things to him as well as her, but he didn't think it could be made by a loved one. A _real_ loved one. He swallowed his dehydrated mouth, as he was trying to think of what to say. She looked up at him with her helpless eyes, almost as if she was sorry herself that she had to say the word 'betrayed' to him. He held her hand tighter, as he looked down.

"I was okay when you were searching for answers….two weeks ago…..I wasn't stressing out then…" He said, looking into her eyes.

"Two weeks ago?" She questioned as she held his hand tighter. "So, it _was_ something recent?"

"Yeah. Very recent. Remember when I asked you, two weeks ago, about your Lust? And then I was by your side the next day? Well, I brought Trigon up….and…and…..and the look on your face when you remembered…"

She looked at him in horror, but tried to suppress the urge to look away from him. He didn't question her; he knew this was as hard to listen to as it was to talk about it. And he knew she couldn't take back what she said; she asked him a question, wanting him to answer it instead of intruding on his thoughts.

"Raven?" He asked, taking his one free hand and grazing it gently on her cheeks. She closed her eyes and kneeled forward, keeping a hold onto his hand.

"Trigon."

"Yeah, Trigon." She looked up at him.

"…..And you were thinking about him forcing himself….on me?" She asked, trying to compose herself. He nodded and looked down to her hands that were gripping onto his. She couldn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. If it had been a simple problem, yes, possibly she could have maintain some self-control and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, but it wasn't a simple problem. She had passed on the same stress she had felt herself many years ago to her husband.

"Trigon." She simply stated.

"Rae," He looked into her eyes. "Look, I know I pulled out the album, just to make you forget about that. But…_I_ didn't. And even though Trigon isn't a threat anymore, I somehow feel this guilt, eating up inside of me."

"Guilt? For what?"

"Just, for not doing more. For not protecting you more. I felt like such an idiot giving you that penny."

"The penny? You mean the penny—"

"Yeah, for good luck. But I didn't know what Trigon was capable of. If I could take it back, I wished I had stayed there in with you, comforted you. Possibly stop you from going outside. I probably could have stopped you. But no, I gave you a penny and walked away."

"Is that all you feel guilty about? I mean, Robin wouldn't let you stayed even if—"

"—No, I just…" He said, before he stopped. She brushed a piece of hair out of his face, giving him a reassuring look. "Those eyes…they could stop the world from spinning."

She blushed from the unnecessary compliment, but she knew he was only trying to comfort himself. She looked down as he traced his finger along the corner of her face.

"I can't imagine _him_ touching you. The bastard." He said scoffing to himself. "If I had known—"

"—You didn't know because _I_ was the one who kept the secrets. I was still new to the whole 'team' thing—"

"—But I _should_ have just _known_. It should have been _some_ kind of _animal_ instinct that I would sense, you know a lion protecting his cubs kind of thing—"

"—We weren't even dating. Plus, he just turned me into a nine-year old instead—"

"—_But_ ," He said, pounding his fist into his hand with each word he was saying with emphasizes as he was getting angry. "Had I _known_, I would have given him one _hell_ _of_ a beating then the _fucking_ stupid one I gave him before!" His heart monitor started to beat faster, his eyebrows sweating, and his one fang sticking out just gleamed with spit. She took him by his arm and released more of her energy.

"Calm down." She stated in a soft whispered. She released as much as she could before his breathing had lowered down to a simple whimper.

"Thanks." He said. She stayed quiet, allowing him to compose himself. He looked at her violet eyes and put his arm around her, swaying her back and forth. He knew she wasn't going to say anything more on this topic, but he could sense that she was shaken up herself. She didn't like it when he was angry, especially if he was angry about her father.

"I know why my Lust was overacting." She said, changing the topic, with her resting her head on his chest, trying to listen for his heart. "Demon's are chaotic and narcissistic creatures. They want to dominate and dictate. But just like any other species, they want to breed as well."

"So, that was what? Your hormones? Because I thought your emotions controlled how you felt…"

"The human body is a _little_ more complicated than that and when you add an unholy being with it, things tend to get messy—"

"But I thought _you_ created Lust—"

"—Well, my Demonic side exploits it. It does that. What more can I say? Lust herself is not much help to work with either."

"But you were controlling Lust, weren't you?" He asked. She advert her eyes to the side. "Rae?"

"Well, you _do_ tend to flirt a lot." She said.

"In other words, you weren't."

"I thought it was safe, I thought Lust was satisfied. And I thought you would be happy to be close to me…..so soon." She said, brushing away a piece of hair that got stuck on his eyelash.

"So, is there anything I should worry about?"

"Not with _this_, not with me. Let _me_ be the one to take care of that. All you have to worry about is getting better, taking it easy." She said, rubbing her hand on his abdomen, staring into his green eyes. He took her hand in his and massaged the soft skin. She listened to his heart monitor, as the gentle rhythm of his heart was making her drowsy.

"Now," He said, inhaling deeply so she could feel the gentle weight of his body. "Don't try to change the subject. I want to talk about Trigon. You asked me, so…..I know nothing happened and Trigon is dead, but he would have done _it_ if he found you attractive. Wouldn't he?"

"I thought we were done with this—"

"—We aren't Rae, I feel like this thing has caused you a lot of suffering, much more suffering than you would admit, and it's only healthy to talk about it, to let it all out, otherwise it will eat up inside of you forever." He said, looking into her helpless eyes. "Remember when you told me about Malchior—"

"—_Now_, let's not go _there_—"

"—I won't. But remember what happened after you told me _everything_. The pain he caused you. He made you mistrustful of others helping you. The fact that you stop reading your books for three months and resorted to reading the same story over and over again just so you wouldn't pick up a new book—"

"—Stop it! I get it!—"

"—Let me finish. Remember how many emotions you unleashed, how much weight was lifted off your shoulders? How much better you felt?" He asked. She looked down at her own hands, holding onto his. She squeezed it tight, suggesting that she did remember how much she felt better after she told Garfield all about Malchior. "Now this is one of those few stories you haven't told me. And the two times I brought it up, you said you weren't ready. It's been years, Raven, don't you think it's about time?"

"I'm just," She started, trying to compose herself. "I'm just…..afraid…..afraid of what we'll unleash if I talk it out."

"It'll make you a better mother. The mother you always wanted to be. It's healthy, Rae." He said, kissing the top of her head to try and comfort her. She gave him a small smile. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, we already got through the hard part; you admitted your greatest fear to me. Now, all we have to do is just talk about it more." He said, holding her hand tight as he could hear her breathing becoming heavy. "It'll make _me_ feel better. And isn't _that_ the most important thing right now?" He added.

"Now _that's_ not fair, you're using your health as an excuse." She said.

"You know you would do the same if the roles were reverse." He said.

She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths in, before looking up into his eyes again, trying to hide her anxiety from him. He squeezed her hand once more for comfort.

"Okay." She said. "But let's wait until tomorrow or another time. I already broke some expensive equipment in here; I don't want to break anymore. Right now, I'm just happy you're alive. Let me be happy for a while."

"Sure, Rae, anything you want." He said as he used his other hand to pet her hair before he kissed her head again. He rocked her back and forth, trying to erase everything from her mind with his gentle movements. "My Supreme Empress." He added quietly, as they both dosed off to sleep.

* * *

The following week, Raven was solely devoted to Garfield getting better. He stayed in the infirmary, as the good little boy that he was, even though he wanted to be back in his own room, with his own nurse. A couple of times, Robin wanted to ask what happened to Garfield, but Raven would always give him a death stare when he did so, causing him to stop asking anymore questions, and focused more on treating Garfield instead.

Each time Cyborg checked up on the Logan's, he saw more of Raven's vulnerable side than any other time in his life, and that included when she was pregnant _and_ being targeted by Trigon. However, she only broke a _few_ pieces of the medical equipment each time she felt a little too much. But she cleaned it up right afterward. Out of all his times with his ex-girlfriends, Cyborg never had that _same_ connection with anyone one of them that Garfield and Raven had. Maybe this mushy feeling thing that people called love wasn't for everyone.

Hell, sometimes hanging out with Bruce or Lydia was a more enjoyable evening then hanging out with Bumblebee or Jinx, or any other girl he dated. Or those desperate fan girls out there that would take Cyborg in a second if it meant they could come to the Tower or brag to their friends that they were dating a Titan.

But he had hope; if Raven and Garfield could find each other, he could find someone too. Maybe he was just a late bloomer to all this 'love' mess. He just liked having a good time, without the pressure of being in a long term commitment.

Robin and Starfire had made up and if nobody knew that then, they sure knew it now. They were now worse than _before_. Instead of backing off from each other, because the 'honeymoon was over', they were constantly in each other's presence, with Robin always making sure he had an arm around her most of the time, as Starfire tried to balance Bruce with one arm.

Their big fight didn't do anything to humble their romance; it just inflamed it even more. Every time one of them would make an observation or say something rather enlightening, the other would make a comment about how smart they were, and kiss them in front of everybody. Needless to say, both Garfield and Cyborg started to imitated gagging noises anytime both of them were in a room at the same time. Raven didn't encourage such behavior, but she didn't stop it either.

Bruce was now everybody's favorite in _their_ family.

START SCHOOL SOON, AND THEN I WORK…..AND WORK.


	26. A Session with Garfield

SO, THIS IS A BIT HEAVY, BUT I PROMISE A LOVELY LEMON AFTER THIS CHAPTER.

"Lydia, I need you to focus." Garfield said, speaking to the shy girl who was ignoring him and keeping her attention on her cousin. Seeing a baby in real life was just a whole new experience for her. And she knew it wouldn't last long, because babies grew up fast. She was wearing a simple blue dress, with her hair surprising in pink tails that day. "Lydia."

"What?" She asked, looking back at him in his simple white shirt and jeans.

"You're not paying attention." He said in a singsong manner. "Remember, I can ask for that teacher earlier than expected."

"But I don't wanna a teacher." She complained.

"Lydia, we already talked about this. But come on, let's continue."

"But I wanna hold—"

"—Later. You can hold him later. The longer it will take for us to finished, the longer you will have to wait to hold him." She signed and nodded for him to continue. He shuffled the deck and pulled out a card at random. "Now what is this?"

" 'T'." She said. "And it makes a 'tah' sound."

He put the card on the floor and shuffled the cards once again. He pulled out the letter 'R'. "What is this?"

" 'R'. And it makes a 'rah' sound."

_Strange, _he thought to himself. _'T' and 'R', it's kinda spelling out—well, whatever. It's just strange._

"Very good. See? You're getting better. Before you mixed up your 'W's and 'R's." He said as he put the card down. He decided not to shuffle the cards, and just pulled out the 'I' card at random. He was a little hesitant to ask his question as he could see a pattern going on. "What's—what's this?"

'_I'? Well, now this is getting too eerie._

"Um…it's…it's….. 'I'! That's what it was. It makes a 'ay' sound and a 'ie' sound."

"Very good." He said, putting the card down. He carefully took out another card, looking at, it was the letter 'G'. He put the card back, trying to mask the pain he felt. At that moment, Raven walked into the room, as she was checking up on him and Lydia's progress with her schooling.

"Hello, friend Raven." Starfire said to her as Raven passed by. Star was in the middle of feeding Bruce with baby food, and it was hard for him to open his mouth and make him swallow. "Perhaps you wouldn't mind helping me, as I am having trouble getting Bruce here to eat."

"I'll help you, Starfire, just give me a minute." She said, as she then continued to walk past her, making her way to the living room.

"Please—Raven. Hurry. I need help." Starfire said, as the intensity of her voice implied she was becoming desperate, but she was still the same Starfire as Raven always had known.

She saw Lydia, wearing pink tails, becoming a little irritated that she didn't catch that in the morning and she knew Garfield only did it on purpose to annoy her. Lydia smiled when she saw her mother, as she was hoping her mother would understand her more on the school issue then her father. Raven then looked at the three cards placed down in front of her. It spelled out 'TRI', and she then looked at Garfield, who had the same reaction that she had. She kneeled down to him.

"Are you okay?" She asked, releasing energy on him so that he may calm down in case he was under stress.

"I'm alright. I was pulling out the cards at random." He said, trying not to give too much away in front of Lydia.

Lydia had never really seen her mother show so much affection to her father before. It was weird; it had been going on for a couple of weeks now. Ever since he came out of the infirmary, her mother was out of her room more, always asking her father if he was okay. And despite his answer, which always was 'alright' or 'fine', she still released her energy on him. Lydia guessed that whatever it was that caused her father to be in the infirmary, it made her mother very upset, and so it had to be something very serious, but Lydia didn't want to dwell on the issue.

"We can talk about _this_ tonight." He said, nodding to the cards and looking into Raven's eyes, trying to communicate more information with his mind. She nodded.

"Okay, tonight then." She said in a defeated tone. She had been avoiding this conversation for quite some time, making small excuses here and there. She figured she was as ready as ever to talk about it, seeing as her defenses were already down.

"You're gonna talk about my teacher tonight?" Lydia asked, wondering if they were talking about her. They both looked down at her, trying to hide their troubled expressions.

"Yeah, Lydia, we'll talk your teacher." Garfield said halfheartedly, trying to amuse her. "But I still want a professional to teach you."

"Oh Daddy!" She complained.

"Lydia." Raven said harshly. "You do not complain to Daddy, he is still recovering."

"Oh, Rae, she's just concerned about her future, and who's she comfortable with teaching her." He said, rubbing Raven's arm that was embracing him. "Besides, if I do remember correctly, you did make some snarky comments in your day." She grinned at him, before kneeling down to Lydia and looking into her eyes.

"What is so awful about someone else teaching you? Every child has to go through this transition in life. However, you get to stay home, in the Tower, while other children have to go to a strange building and be away from their parents all day." Raven said, with Lydia looking down at the floor. "You should be grateful for all that you are fortunate for. But," Lydia's eyes looked up. "If you are certain you cannot learn with a total stranger, what if we arrange for one of our friend's to teach you? Another Titan?"

"One of the Titans? Oh, Mama, if I could have them teaching me instead, I would love it!" She shouted out with excitement, before she stopped her energy when she saw her mother giving her a sour look. "Oh, yeah, no excitement." She stated, putting her arms by her side. Raven grinned and kissed Lydia on her chakra.

"Good girl." Raven said. She stood up and walked over to Starfire, to help her feed Bruce. Garfield and Lydia continued with the alphabet, as Raven would occasionally look over her shoulder to watch them.

* * *

That night, while everybody else was safely tucked into their beds, the two Logan's were up, to work on relief therapy for the both of them. Raven had on her blue pajama's, with Garfield having his sweatpants on. They sat on the bed, crossed leg, facing each other, with Garfield holding onto Raven's hands as she kept her eyes closed and was trying to dig deep inside herself, to tell her husband about Trigon.

"I've never claimed I was the strongest on the team. I merely claimed I was capable of great power. There's a difference." She said, taking a deep breath in.

"It's okay." He said reassuring. "Go ahead."

"When I'm in a battle, I don't have time to think about my feelings or emotions. I am motivated by the mission, of getting the job done, which is why I make snarky comments, to prevent myself from _feeling_ more than necessary." She paused for a few minutes as she took a few deep breaths.

"It's okay."

"When….when….when I was told about the prophecy, my mother had this _look_ on her face. The same look she had when she also told me about…._how_…. I was conceived…" She said, trying to maintain her composure. She winced at the memory she had to recall and one of their pillows floated above their heads, with Garfield staring at it.

After it was clear that the pillow was just merely floating above them, he looked back at her and said, "Okay, go on."

"I…I never really had seen my father before. I began having dreams about the prophecy….and…..and _him_." She said, gripping his hands tighter. The pillow above them began to spin around and around, hypnotizing Garfield.

"You're doing fine. Nothing's happened yet."

"Like Lydia, I was only told about him….never really having had seen him myself before, except in my dreams…and in Azarath teachings, dreams have a purpose, they are not just mere images one sees when they go to sleep, they…they…have _meaning_."

Another pillow had started to float above them, starting to spin just as fast as the first one. Garfield could hear several of their books and papers shaking in their place, just waiting for her to say another word so they could be hoisted up in the air.

"And me, being a curious person, I did the stupidest thing ever….I….I…" She stopped, clenching his hands tighter and cringing at the thought of her next statement.

"What? I'm here, Rae. You don't have to do this alone anymore. Remember?" He said, as she continued to cringed. He then began chanting to her, "You're not alone anymore, you're not, you're not alone anymore…."

"I…" She started again, taking another deep breath.

"That's good. Come on, Rae, what did you do?"

"I…._contacted_ him….in the realm between Azarath and Earth…." She said softly as she exhaled. The two pillows above them burst opened. Even though she could feel the soft feathers showering her skin, she didn't budge from her place. Garfield brushed off the feathers from her hair and skin, and then went back to his spot, continuing to hold her hands.

"Well now, that wasn't so bad." He said, even though he could still hear the books shaking in the corner of his ear, waiting to make more destruction. She was breathing heavily as he brushed away another feather away from her face. Looking down at her palms he said, "I…don't think anyone can blame you, Rae. You never knew your father, and if everybody says that he was a Demon, you're bound to get curious."

"But I defied my teachers when I did so!" She snapped. One of their books flew toward him at high speed, but he ducked his head when it came near him. He looked back to her as she tried to compose herself and slow down her breathing. As she swallowed spit from her dehydrated mouth and was able to talk reasonably again, she said, "Sorry."

"It's okay. I was expecting _that_ at some point. You _always_ did throw books at me." He said, trying to keep himself calm for her, even though he almost got knocked out by her force. "Anyway, what happened then? It's that _when_ he told you about the prophecy _himself_?"

"Yes. I made….I somewhat made a _deal_…with _him_…" She said. "He didn't want to kill me then because…he wanted access to Earth….and I was the key….the _gem_….so, he couldn't kill me then…not then….and I couldn't kill him…I was trapped in that realm…"

"What was the deal?"

"I fought with him…..even though it was pointless…as soon as I knocked him out, he would get back up…..he…he couldn't be weakened in that realm." She said, her voice beginning to shake, as she lowered her head. "He said he would spare my mother and me, and go back to Azarath, only if….only if I could bring him back to Earth….when…..when…when….I was the proper age."

All the loose paper in the room began to float above them in a circle, creating a breeze between them. He didn't want to touch them, for fear of getting a paper cut as they spun ever so faster. Even though he was quite used to her magic by this point, it always fascinated him to see what her powers were could do to ordinary objects. To think of what she had might have broken in Azarath.

"Is that when you left Azarath to find help?"

"That was a few years later." She said in a whispered as she exhaled deeply. He could hear a buzzing sound that the loose papers were making. She lifted her head slightly up.

"Okay, Rae. You're doing good, you're almost there. Just keep concentrating."

"While I was _battling_ him…..in that realm…he _taunted_ me….saying that I would never be as strong as him because I only had _half_ his strength…." She said, taking a hold of his lower arms instead of his hands, as she bent down, panting at the thoughts racing through her head. Garfield looked up at the floating papers, which was creating shapes in the air. He looked back down to Raven. "Garfield…..I-I…can't do this…..I can't continue….no more…..no more. Let's just stop…I want to stop…."

"Rae…I know this is hard…_believe_ me, it is _hard_ to listen to it…but you have to continue." He said, picking her up, balancing her with his hands on her shoulder and talking to her defeated face. "I read up on this kind of stuff. It's best to talk about it over and over again, to a loved one, to get it all out. You're _nearly_ there, Rae, just a few more sentences from you….and both of you and _my_ worries could be over."

"…..but they will never end!…Don't you get it! You married a _half-Demon_! Daughter of Trigon!" She shouted, with her tears peering out on the corner of her eyes as she struggled from his arms. "You married…._me_." She allowed her head to hang in shame, as she tried to suppress the urge to cry, but her tears were visible. Garfield held on her head and kissed her firmly on her hair, allowing tears to form in his own eyes.

"I know. I know." He said quietly as he petted her head and held her in his arms. "Please, Rae…I need you to…." Was all he could say before he began to let his tears to run down his face.

He held onto her tighter, as he looked up to the papers that were creating a circle as they floated around the room. He looked at the papers with fury, as he was mad about her powers interrupting them in general whenever she did something, it was considered sometimes as a curse to her, and now it had become a curse to him. He tried to wipe his tears away as he continued to pet her head.

"You're not alone anymore, you're not alone anymore, you're not alone anymore…." He chanted to her, trying to dry his eyes and sniffled as he did so.

"I'm not alone anymore…." She chanted quietly with him. She allowed him to rub her head for a little longer before she sat back up, with the loose paper shredding itself to a million of pieces, which showered above them. She turned around to face him, drying her own eyes, and then continued. "He….he….he _hinted_…"

"Hinted?" He asked, grabbing her hands.

"He _hinted_ that…that…he could _show_ me just how powerful he was…..that he could _demonstrate_…his power on me if I questioned his strength." She said as she could feel her eyes beginning to loosen up again. "He had said something similar to my mother the night I was conceived….it wasn't just a coincidence the way he said it…."

"Rae." He said, getting up from his place, and embracing her in his arms. "There _was_ something to fear. He _taunted_ you. You had every right to be afraid. Even if you couldn't _feel_ that way at the time. Now…_sometimes_….rape….well rape is all about controlling someone else, with the power they have over the person." She shifted her head to the side, as she continued to listen, and she put her arms around him. "I kind of did a little reading up on it."

"I was so afraid that if he saw me again….being all grown up…..and filled out…..he…..he….he….." She said, panting with each word.

"He would find you attractive? And go ahead with his original plan?" He more or less continued her thought for her. She nodded, trying to steady her breathing. The books on the shelves then started to fly across the room, missing both her and Garfield, as the books flew past them as Raven was able to keep the books from hitting either of them. They were now making too much noise, although hopefully it wasn't heard by the others.

"He….he…._didn't_ though…find me attractive that is." She said, squeezing him tighter. "I was lucky to get away as soon as he crossed past me…when I was the portal. But I still had that fear, even as my nine-year old self…..because that fear _never_ went away….even though I couldn't remember anything…I remember being afraid of _him_…." A book flew across her ear. Another book was about to hit Garfield, but she stopped it with her energy just as he was about to duck.

"That was close." He said, breathing out a sigh of relief as he looked at the book. Then he gazed down at Raven, who was still clinging onto him.

"At first I thought Robin…was…_him_…which is why I ran away when I first saw Robin…but then I remembered….."

"And you came back. That's the important thing." He said in her ear. "And then you defeated him. _Single-handedly_. I mean…well, yeah, _we_ kind of helped, but we were knocked out when you charged up to him, calling him out on his parenting skills."

The books continued to fly across the room. He was afraid to let go of her, just in case one of the books hit him. She didn't want to let go because she was afraid herself, afraid what would happen if she didn't have something to hold onto while she continued to express her feelings. The books were knocking down pictures on the wall, paintings, the mirror on the wall, stuffed animals resting on top of their drawer, and the lit candles that were scattered all over. Luckily though, as soon as the candles were knocked out, the fire was extinguished. They continued to hold each other, in the ever present darkness as the most of the candles were knocked out.

"Is…is there anymore?" He asked, as he looked down at her. She wasn't hiding her tears anymore and allowed them to fall. "Raven?"

"I-I…..I don't want to…..cry….about _this_…anymore." She said, sniffling as she wiped her nose with her hand.

"Well, I don't think that can happen without you getting it all out there." He said, getting her to sit up again and looking at her face. She opened her eyes and looked into his. The books around the room began to pick up speed. "Rae?"

"He's the…..reason." She said, trying not to look down, trying to keep eye contact with him. He wiped her tears away from her cheeks.

"Reason for what? I know he's the reason for a _lot_ of things…but what _specifically_?"

"Why…..why I wouldn't let you _touch_ me….on our wedding night." She said. She was afraid she was giving him this shockingly new revelation, but he just embraced her.

"I know." He said. She was a little surprised by this. "I kind of figured, even on the night _of_ the honeymoon, I had a funny feeling _he_ was the reason. I think you even hinted at it when you confessed that your mother was taken by forced. I understand, Rae." He brushed away another tear developing in her eyes.

"I just…..I just…..wanted to make sure you knew everything…because that's about everything…." She said, closing her eyes once again as he rocked her in his arms. After a few seconds went by, all the books dropped to the floor. He looked down at her face, which was warm and covered with cold sweat. She began to breathe normally.

"It's okay, it's okay, Rae. I'm here. Come back to reality, run away from those memories. Come back to me. Shhh…" He calmly said. They sat there in silence for a while, allowing both of them to calm down. At a certain point, she dried her eyes, and sat up to face him. "Are you back?" He asked.

"Yes." She said, opening her eyes and taking his hands. "How many times did I do this over Malchior?"

"Ten times." He said. "It was about the sixth time when you were able to speak about him without trying to physically harm me. This time, I was just able to dodge most of the items you threw at me."

"So, how many times do you think we should do this for Trigon? Five?"

"Five? Five? Raven, this wasn't some boyfriend who used you for your powers, this is your _fucking_ demon father who might have raped you if he had the chance!" He unintentionally shouted. He regretted his tone as soon as he saw her look down. "Hey, that's not what I meant…it's just that—it's just that….this is _deeply_ disturbing. It's affecting you how you live…..no, this requires at _least_ twenty times. Or enough times when it wouldn't even bother you if I mentioned his name. I mean….he was a really screwed up guy and he screwed you up bad. _Really_ bad."

"I don't mean to cause this much trouble—"

"—I know you don't. But with great power comes great responsibility. And sometimes great responsibility comes with _awful_ side effects." She nodded. "You said the same exact thing once."

"I stole a line from _Spider-man_?"

"No, I mean about the whole 'it isn't your fault, it just sucked that it happened to you' thing. You didn't say it that way though, I'm just paraphrasing. But yeah, you stole a line from _Spider-man_." He said. "You helped me out with my parents. Remember? Isn't this the very exercise you did to help me deal with my parents' death anniversary?"

"But it wasn't your fault Garfield. The African safari can be dangerous—"

"—I could have pulled the boat out before it—"

"—Garfield." She said calmly as she closed her eyes.

The tone in her voice suggested that she wasn't focusing on her problems anymore and she was more interested in his welfare as she didn't like him blaming himself for his parents' death. Garfield was about to say something further, but he couldn't resist her quiet presence. It seemed to be his turn now, as he closed his own eyes.

"You traveled with your parents on a boat when they were headed for a cliff. Your father wanted you to save yourself when the boat was about to fall, your mother insisted that they could not be helped, that it was too late for them, but you could make it out alive. You were young and nobody expected you to know what to do when the time came. Your parents would be proud of you if they were here because you are continuing the research that they started."

"How?" He asked, even though he already knew the answer.

"You have an animalistic instinct, but every day, you show your soft human side to the world. Isn't that what you're parents were trying to prove? That animals and humans are not that different?" She asked, opening her eyes to see the serene look on his face. He opened his eyes to see his gray companion looking at him with that gleam in her eye.

"You know, Demons and humans aren't that different too. Humans can deceive their evil nature, but you know what the deal is with a Demon when you see one. Isn't it more wicked for humans to pretend to be good rather than be born the bad guy? And much nobler for the Demon to turn her natural birthright to be good?" He asked, knowing that she would smile at this, because he was telling her that her Demonic heritage didn't define her. They both looked around the room at the mess that they had made.

"I hope we didn't wake anybody." She said.

"Frankly Rae, I don't give a damn."

"Now whose the one stealing lines from movies." She said, looking back at him.

"Movie? I was quoting from the book."

"As if you read that book. I found your secret stash of _Twilight_ books." She said, as she stood up from the bed and started picking up the books that were scattered on the floor.

"Well, _Twilight_ was shorter." He said, watching her move around, picking up books. "Besides, wars are boring to read about. I'm a retired superhero; I've seen enough war to last me a lifetime."

She looked up to him and made eye contact. "Me too." She said softly, with him getting up to help her clean the room.

* * *

A few days passed by, with the rest of the Titans almost completely forgetting that Garfield just had a heart attack not that long ago, but it was part of the job description, they could only worry about each other for so long before they had to focus on their mission at hand. But Rae still came home from a hard day's work to take care of Garfield, putting another six hours in her workload.

She was told by Cyborg that Garfield had to take it easy, eat right, exercise at a moderate rate every day, and not do any strenuous workouts, such as engaging in any sexual activity. Rae and Garfield both blushed when they listened to _that_ part, but tried to hide it from Cyborg. While Lydia was upset that her daddy couldn't rough house with her for a while, she did have Bruce to play with. He was getting bigger, it seemed, each day, as his chubby cheeks were becoming more defined to the others then his narrow eyes. His hair was growing wild and Starfire was overjoyed that she could play with his hair, even though he was boy. He wasn't yet seven months old, and already she was trying to get him to walk and talk.

ANYWAY…..


	27. Medicine for the Heart

WELL, LOVELY. SO, MY PARENTS WOULD USUALLY GIVE ME HARD COVERS OF HARRY POTTER, SO AFTER I READ THEM ALL, I TOOK THE COVER PAPER FROM EACH BOOK AND FRAMED IT ON MY DOOR. THE ONLY THING WAS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE THE COVER PAPER FROM THE SECOND AND THIRD BOOK, BECAUSE THEY WERE SOFT COVERS, SO THERE WOULD BE THIS EMTPY SPACE ON THE DOOR. I JUST RECENTLY BOUGHT THE SECOND AND THIRD BOOK, SINCE I HAD FOUND COPIES OF IT IN MY BOOK STORE DUE TO THE MOVIE, BECAUE USUALLY THEY WOULD ONLY HAVE SOFT COVERS. I SPENT FIFTY DOLLARS PLUS TAX, JUST SO I COULD HAVE THE COVER PAPER AND COMPLETE MY COLLECTION. NOW, MY DOOR FEELS COMPLETE. SINCE I HAVE BEEN WORKING LIKE NON-STOP, IT DIDN'T AFFECT MY BUDGET. SO, MY QUESTION IS, AM I CRAZY? NO, WAIT, I'LL ANSWER THAT: YES. SO, HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

Bruce and Lydia were in the living room one day, playing with his baby toys and her blanket. She was trying to pretend that she was his mother and she was taking care of him, even though she could barely pick him up. She wore a brown dress with her hair in a nice pony tail, with him wearing a gray T-shirt that said 'Tiny Titan' on it. She had discovered that he would laughed anytime she physically hurt herself such as hitting her head with his rattle, but she didn't care, she loved his cute little baby laugh. Garfield, however, would occasionally stop Lydia from hitting herself if he caught her doing that trick.

"Okay, now you sit here and hold this crayon, and I'll show you how to color." Lydia told the babbling baby. She handed Bruce a red crayon, hoping he would know what to do with it, but he put it in his mouth instead, making Lydia frustrated that her instructions were not being listened to. "No, no, no. Don't put it in your mouth. You draw with it. See _(Demonstrating with her own crayon), _see, I'm making art."

"Ba-ba, buh-ba, ba-ba." Bruce said, his giant pupils looking at her.

Garfield was sitting on the couch, wearing his sweat pants and purple T-shirt, trying to read the book that Raven got him, but he was having a hard time concentrating. He wanted to turn on the T.V. instead, but she was sitting right next to him, as she was reading her own book, and so he felt trapped with his book. Thank goodness it was a slow week for crime, but sometimes he wanted his alone time with Lydia, because he would do things that Raven would otherwise not approved of.

He put the book down, yet again for the fifth time within minutes, as he looked over to Lydia and Bruce again. Well, they were still alive, and Lydia wasn't hurting herself, so back to his book. He picked up the book again, but the words written on the page were just so boring to read. Raven looked over to him, sensing his frustration.

"You can watch T.V. if you want." She said, as she continued to read her own book, turning a page. "I'll buy you a better book if you don't like that one. I just thought you should widen your reading scope."

"With a political book though? Really? Don't you know anything about me?" He asked, admitting to his disinterest in his book. "Even during a presidential election, I just ask _you_ who I should vote for. And that's the only time I vote. I'm a hero with powers; I don't care about business-type people talking about stuff; stuff I think _they_ sometimes don't know what they're talking about. Robin's lectures are poetry compare to anything I hear on the news."

"For someone who doesn't care about politics, you sure do have an _opinion_ about it." She without so much as lifting her eyes.

"Well, I didn't like reading that book. Some of that stuff it was said just made me get either angry or uninterested." He said, grabbing the remote and turning the T.V. on. "Plus, it didn't have any pictures."

"Okay, if it stresses you out. I just thought I would change up your reading a bit. It was just an experiment. I'll buy you that new romance novel about that girl with supernatural powers who falls for a Deaf guy, and begins her quest to find the cure for his ears with her powers so he can hear again. But little does she know, he's just fine with his deaf ears and must learn how to love him for him and not what he could be." She said, as he rested his head on her lap, and put his feet up on the couch. She didn't mind this action and even used one of her hand to pet his hair occasionally. He was _definitely_ getting more comfortable.

"That sure sounds more interesting than anything I had just read. You make it sound like a movie, 'Coming this summer. A girl. A boy. She has powers. He is Deaf. Can their love survive in this cruel, _cruel_ world?'" He said theatrically.

He turned to the animal channel as he looked over to Lydia and Bruce. Yep, they were still alive and Lydia hadn't hurt herself, yet, so everything was fine and he could go back to watching T.V. He made sure Lydia's back was turned all the way before he placed his right hand gently on her upper thigh. It was a sly move by him, but she didn't question it. She merely raised an eyebrow.

"Getting comfortable?" She asked after a couple of minutes. Well, she _had_ to question his actions at some point.

"Well, this particular show is getting _rather_ interesting." He said. She darted her eyes to the giant screen and saw a pair of lions, one male, one female, and the narrator talking about the lion's mating habits. He rubbed her thigh, reaching up a little higher to the point he was almost grazing her leotard. He could feel the hairs on her leg stand up.

"Don't you remember what Cyborg said?" She said in her monotone, getting back to her book, but she was having trouble getting interested in it again. "To not do any strenuous exercise?"

"He gave me a pamphlet. I've read it. I've done everything in it that it says to do to be ready for such an exercise." He said, as he continued to rub her thigh. She pushed his hand away from him reaching any higher. "_You_ know I am a leg man."

"But I accepted you anyway." She said slyly, as she continued to scan the pages of her book with her eyes. He grumbled.

"You're being a teased."

"I'm being sensible." She said, as she turned the page. "Isn't it enough I'm letting you sit on my lap as if it was a pillow? Like you're some kind of dog?"

"Well technically, I _am_—but _you_ said I could do anything to make myself comfortable. Don't you want me to be comfortable?"

"Well, now you're just trying to manipulate the situation to get what you want." She said, looking down at him. "Besides, I don't want to strain your heart."

"Oh!" He said surprisingly, in a mischievous voice looking up to her with his ears lifting up. "So, you are feeling a little something _something_. You are concern that you would strain my _little_, weak heart, are you now? Well, don't worry, I'll take the pain." She blushed as she was found out and went back to reading her book.

"You're not taking your heart attack seriously. Mother Nature has told you to slow down, but you won't. I will not encourage this kind of behavior." She said in her monotone as she used her powers to move his hands away from her thigh.

"Look, I've been taking it _real_ easy now." He said, lowering his voice down a bit. She unleashed her black energy from his hand. He sat up, being inches away from her hip, and placed his hands in his lap. "I've been talking to Cyborg about it…"

"Wait…you-you…_asked_…_Cyborg_?" She said slowly, pausing with each word as she put her book down and looked at him. She tried to hide her anger from him, but she was having a bit of a hard time. "_Why_ would you—"

"—He was my doctor, Rae. Don't jump me." He said, waving his arms in defense. She folded her arms to hear what he had to say. "He asked me how my health was and….and he asked me if there was anything I was concerned about. So, I told him. _But_ in the strictest confidence. He was very professional about it. At least…_most_ of the time—"

"—Garfield, if this is your way of seducing me, I don't think—"

"—Okay, look. I know you're worried, but I'm doing fine. _More_ than fine." He said. "Lydia is behaving better, making it easier for me to not stress myself out as much. When you come home from work, you're right by my side, and you make me calmer with your powers. You're doing a great job as my nurse and now," He picked up one of her hands and gently kissed it, looking into her eyes. "I want to repay you."

She _wanted_ to rip her hand out from his in outrage, because he was talking about a particular subject she didn't want to be overheard by her daughter and she was also somewhat—well, mostly—afraid he might have another heart attack, but her hand stood still in his. Her own heart started to beat a little faster. She _did_ have willpower, but it was failing her now.

"I want a second opinion." She merely stated. "I think Cyborg was humoring you because he's your friend."

"You think he would only tell me something I would _want_ to hear instead of thinking of about my well-being—"

"—Yes." She said before he had a chance to finish his sentence, without so much as blinking an eye.

"My cholesterol level is down, my blood pressure is normal, I've been on a healthy diet ever since then, _you_ make me walk outside around the Tower for at _least_ twenty minutes a day, and I don't have the slightest hint of depression. Raven, what more proof do you need that I am fine?" He once again kissed her hand to reassure her that he knew what he was doing, keeping his eyes up.

Lydia turned around as Bruce was hitting the floor with his crayon, and she giggled at the display that her parents were putting on.

"Look-look baby!" She told Bruce, pointing a finger at Garfield and tapping on Bruce's shoulder. "Baby, Daddy is kissing Mama! Look baby or you'll miss it!" She lifted Bruce's chin up so he could 'see' the kiss, even though his eyes were still glued to his hand. Bruce did look up, but looked at Lydia, and then spat bubbles out of his mouth.

"Lydia." Raven said in a harsh tone, releasing her hand from Garfield's, with her cheeks coloring.

"What?" Lydia asked, wondering what she had done wrong.

Raven realized that Lydia didn't do anything wrong and that she was just embarrassed she got caught by her daughter. She was just thankful that the other Titans weren't there. Now _that_, she wouldn't be able to live down. Unless of course it was the other way around, and _she_ was the one seducing _him_.

"Nothing. Never mind." Raven said, picking up her book afterward and trying to resume her place. "And stop calling your cousin 'baby'; he has a name."

"But I like the name 'baby', because he _is_ a baby." Lydia simply stated. Raven didn't argue, since she already felt defeated because Lydia caught her being smitten by Garfield. She thought that her words wouldn't be taken seriously at this particular moment by her daughter.

Garfield merely smiled at Lydia and she smiled back. It was as if they were speaking some unspoken language between them even though Garfield couldn't read thouhts. She turned around and went back to spending her time playing with Bruce before Starfire and Robin would get back. Garfield leaned back in his seat, as he continued to watch his program.

After a few minutes passed by, he whispered calmly to Raven, "You know, if you're worried about me getting a heart attack again _during_, I was told about a few steps I can do to decrease the risk."

"Decrease the _risk_? So, there is a risk, then? Need I make my point any further?" She simply stated in her monotone, as she turned a page.

"Rae, there's a risk when you get into a car, because you might get killed by drunk drivers. _I've_ been here chilling, while _you're_ the one who's out fighting crime. If anything, _you're_ the one who takes the most risk. Look, I am looking out for your well-being as well. Don't you want to control your l-u-s-t?"

"I'm fine, so if I can hold up, so can you." She said.

_There, that would hold him,_ she thought to herself, _at least for a minute or so._

But after a few minutes went by, he put his hand on the couch and slowly slid his fingers towards her, making his way to her bare thigh. She didn't even have to look down to see what he was doing. Damn, he knew exactly what to do to get what he wanted. Her own heart was starting to beat faster as his fingers came close to touching her skin. She wasn't the type to quickly change her mind, but she _did_ want him to be happy, and she could _feel_ her Lust slowly growing stronger with each second his fingers were on her skin.

"Don't." She said in a weak tone and he could hear the trembling in her voice.

"Rae, you know a night with you always makes me feel better, even if it's not the _most_ passionate night ever. A _lot_ of stuff has happened since then….with our therapy and whatnot," He said, allowing his voice to trail off and her looking down from his comments, before he took one of her hands again and whispered, "I really think you'll feel better too if you give in to your emotions."

She lowered her book with her one hand and looked up to him with her helpless eyes. She _wanted_ to fight with him more, she _wanted_ to say her whole speech again about how much of a risk it was to take, or if anything, she _wanted_ to throw him across the room for making her Lust emerge. Well, her Lust was already emerging, but he was just giving Lust exactly what she wanted and that only made her more powerful.

But all Raven could do was sit there like an emotionless idiot. "I'm afraid." She simply said, allowing herself to confess to him the real reasons she didn't want to partake in their favorite pastime. He kissed her hand again, without taking his eyes off her.

"Your Lust has been acting up, hasn't it?" He asked, she slowly nodded her head. He rubbed the side of his head with her soft hand, allowing it to graze against his cheek and hair. "I've noticed. At first you were here every day at my beck and call, healing me every chance you got, but now you've started to become afraid of touching me too much. I figured it was Lust. But you were afraid it might trigger another attack? Right? That's why I talked to Cyborg. He wouldn't put me in danger and he wouldn't want you to worry." She looked back down, but he held her hand tighter to get her to look back up. "I didn't tell him _anything_ about your Lust, I just said I was ready, but you had your doubts."

"And you figured all this stuff out about me by yourself?" She asked, a littler doubtful of him figuring _everything_ out.

"Well, Cyborg _did_ say that you were acting just like me the time when you were comatose. He said you weren't yourself." He said, as he loosened his grip on her hand. "He said 'I swear to God, BB, if you don't take care of yourself and let Rae attend to you, I will hunt you down and beat your ass up'. So, I felt comfortable telling him my concerns. Telling him how bad you might be hurting. Rae, you need a night off."

"I'm not hurting _that_ bad." She said, smiling. "I'm fine." Despite what she said, her cheeks turned red. He smiled, before he kissed her hand again, this time a little longer then the last.

"You're feeling fine, are you then?" He said, looking up to her before he took her arm and started kissing the sleeve of her leotard, up to her shoulder, still holding her hand out. She couldn't do anything, but blush at his actions. He made it all the way up to her shoulder before he whispered in her ear, "Well, if this is feeling fine, I want to know how it is to feel _extraordinary_." He started kissing her neck which made her eyes widen with that odd feeling of joy and allowed her powers to wreck havoc in the kitchen, melting some of the silverware and making them float above in the air.

She closed her eyes and only thought of what would happen if Lydia saw them, and the kitchen. But she didn't think about that for long; she started to think about _various_ things, all relating to Garfield and his kiss that felt like it could last forever. After a few more blissful seconds, he released his lips, and opened her eyes. She looked down at the floor, where both Lydia and Bruce were looking out the window, occasionally banging on the window, just being enchanted by their toys and the view they had, even though Bruce was too young to understand what he was seeing.

Garfield looked at her eyes and followed the direction they were looking at. "Come on, Rae, I knew they were busy playing. They wouldn't notice a bomb going off if you dropped one next to them. Do you really think I would do _that_ in front of my own daughter if I knew she was looking?" She looked back at him intently, folding her arms, trying to remind him that it was just a few moments ago that Lydia caught him kissing her hand. "Okay, maybe I _would_, but _only_ to show her that her parents _do_ love each other. Hey, sometimes she forgets we're married."

She smiled, unfolded her arms, picked up her book and continued to read from where she left off, but she allowed him to lie in her arms, petting him with her free hand, as he tried to read the words in front of him holding the other end of the book with his hand.

"Okay." She simply said, blushing. "You win."

He smiled and quickly kissed her blushing cheek. "Okay, we need to gradually raise my heart rate up, so there won't be any surprises. So, go ahead, start _raising_ it up." He whispered.

* * *

That night, Lydia was watching a movie with the three remaining Titans in the building, as her mother and father were locked in their room. Garfield was sitting on the edge of the bed, still wearing his modest attire with sweat pants and purple T-shirt as he waited for Raven to come out of the bathroom. He already _prepared_ himself and it was Raven's turn, since she was going to be responsible for most of the movement tonight due to his condition.

She came out, with her leotard and cloak still on, and that look of desire in her eyes. She took a few steps, and undid her cloak, letting it collapse on the floor.

"_You'll have to raise my heart level up gradually, and one way to do that is a bit of foreplay, such as stripping." He had told her earlier._

She closed her eyes as she walked a few steps closer, and carefully removed her belt and let it drop in its place. She took a few deep breaths in before she reached behind her leotard to get the zipper in the back, but she then could feel a hand unzipping it for her. Opening her eyes, she saw Garfield standing in front of her as he was unzipping her uniform for her. She blushed and looked to the side.

"You're doing good, Rae, I know all this sexy stuff isn't your thing, but…." He said, as she exhaled. Before he had another chance to say anything, she looked back up to him and she moved in on him, pressing her lips on his, and embracing him in her arms. She released her lips and looked up to him, breathing a little more heavily now, staring deep into his eyes. "Yeah, you're _definitely_ getting better at this sexy stuff. I can feel my heart beat just a little faster now."

He pressed her closer to him with his lips as he finished unzipping her while she peeled off her sleeves as she continued to lock lips with him. After thirty seconds, she broke off from his mouth and just stared into his eyes as she played with his hair. He gripped her arms as they continued to stare at each other. After a few minutes went by, he slowly lean forward and kissed the side of her neck, causing her to closed her eyes and exhaling harder as he grazed his lips on her skin.

He then grabbed her by her hips, picked her up bridal style, and gently laid her down on the bed on her back, as he continued to kiss her lips. He slowly made his way to her cheek, down to her neck, as she kept her eyes closed once in order to absorb his affection. She gripped his head tighter, causing him to press on her skin firmly. She opened her eyes and they had a moment to look at each for a time. They both began to breathe heavily, as the sound of their panting was becoming music to both their ears.

He broke off away from her and sat up real quickly to take his T-shirt off, throwing it to the side as she tried to pull off his sweat pants down to his knees. He quickly lay on his back to remove the rest of his sweat pants as well as his boxers while she lay there in silence, staring up at the ceiling and cringed her toes as she waited for him. He quickly sat up and peeled the rest of her leotard off, with her underwear as well, as she continued to lie on her back, with both of them revealing their vivid skin color to each other.

He positioned himself on top of her, as he started to kiss her chest and lips, occasionally sucking on her neck. She kept her eyes closed as she embraced him, gently combing her fingers through his hair.

"Are you ready? He asked, whispering in her ear. She nodded and he could feel her toes curled up against his leg. "Okay, you know what to do after the first few movements." She nodded again, holding him tighter as she allowed him to come closer to her.

"Azarath, metrion, zinthos. Azarath, metrion, zinthos…." She chanted as she could feel him coming closer.

She had to keep her focus; she had to keep chanting even though she wanted to stop for a second and savor the moment. But she didn't; she knew better. In a moment, _she_ would be the one in charge, since it was best for Garfield to lay his back as much as possible because of his heart, but _he_ _still_ had to start, no matter what, so she could focus on her mantra.

He kept a slow pace going, allowing Raven to have more time to concentrate, and also taking it slow for himself, so his heart had a chance to gradually beat faster. She loosened her grip on his hair and rested her hands next to her face. He continued to go at a slow pace, only going a little bit faster than before just because the moment called for it.

"Rae…..you're….doing great….just a little more….." He said, panting with each breath.

It wasn't too much for him, but he wanted to save his breath, just as a precaution to his heart. She didn't respond, but started to move slowly along with him, trying to make her movements as smooth as his, as if they were one beating drum, slowly taking their turns at a rhythmic pace to pound gently on the skin. Quite literally and metaphorically.

She rested her head on it's side as he continued his warm up. "Azarath, metrion…zinthos….." She said, allowing her words to trail off as her toes started to cringed again.

"Okay, Rae…..let me know…..when you're ready…..because, I am….." He said as his body temperature started to rise up a bit, causing his face to develop sweat beads.

He kissed her exposing cheek and sucked her neck as she continued her chanting. He was balancing himself by having his hands firmly stationed on the bed. She started to respond faster to his movements, embracing him tightly, as he held onto her shoulders. After a few more moments, she kicked her foot on the bed and rolled both of their bodies over, the sheets sticking to their skin, as she was now positioned on top. This time he rested silently on his back as _she_ was the one making the moves for him.

She sat up above him, still woven inside him, and allowed her hands to rest on his abdomen, occasionally massaging it as she either moved up or down as she concentrated on her movements. Her knees were glued to either side of his hips, her toes heating up. She alternated the position of her head, either looking straight down, or lifted it straight up, depending on which movement she was doing.

"Azarath….me-TRION…zinthos….." She allowed her words to hang in the air, with her eyes never once opening, as she could just _feel_ her way around without looking.

Garfield continued to respond to her movements, as much as he could, since he didn't want to overdo it with his heart. Even though he wasn't on top anymore, he had his share of sweat seeping out through his skin, as he did contribute quite a bit. His mouth was becoming dehydrated and so he could only imagine that Raven was _really_ dehydrated if she continued to speak. He had warned her to drink plenty of water before they resided in their private quarters, but he didn't know if she took his advice. His legs were slightly bent as he would ram his toes through the blankets.

"Az-ARATH….MET….trion…zinth—zinthos….." She said, trying to control her breathing, her hair starting to get stuck on her face, either on her lips or on the edge of her cheek. She didn't bothered to try to move it away as she had bigger things to concentrate on. Quite literally and metaphorically.

He had the advantage of keeping his eyes open and gazed at her beauty without having to do much work. He could see her face covered in sweat, her eyebrows twitching and her face wincing as she was trying to concentrate. Her supple breast were somewhat hovering above him when she worked her way kneeling back down in front of him before they would rest flat against her chest as she arch backward. As she arch backward, her soft, yet tone, belly would show the indents of her rib cage, but she had enough fat to show off the imperfections of her body.

Her hair was becoming greasy and frizzy from the sweat and as she bent forward towards him, the tips were brushing gently on his abdomen. His arms were stationed firmly on his sides, but now they slowly crept up to his own abdomen, wrapping his hands around hers and squeezing them tight as she once again arched backwards.

"Aza….RATH…ME….TRION…zinthos….." She said exhaling with each pause she had. She inhaled deeply again as she let his hands become loose in hers and began to speed up her rhythm. As she was about to exhaled once more, she forced herself to bend forward harder, squeezing his hands tightly. She grind her teeth from the sudden change of paced and cringed her face once more.

Occasionally he would close his eyes to better feel the experience, but he tried to keep them open most of the time. He figured if she couldn't see anything, he should try to watch for the both of them as much as possible. As she arched herself backward again, allowing her head to lift up to the ceiling, she drop her hands on his chest as she tried to balance herself.

She came back down to him again, and he took this opportunity to keep her hands closer to his face, and kissed them each as he was starting to twitch his own feet. Her feet were twitching as well, but her twitching was more limited as she was still sitting on top of them. He wasn't even thinking about his heart, but _did_ notice that it was pounding rather irregular for the moment, going a tiny bit faster than he had anticipated.

Whatever. Later, he'll do everything single, tiny thing that she would tell him to do, but for now, he would experience this small pain for pleasure. After all, one of the ways to heal his heart was to enjoy life again.

Thank goodness she was busy trying to concentrate otherwise she could hear him thinking about his heart, which she had more or less had totally forgotten about in the heat of the moment. She knew what to do, it wasn't completely new to her, as she sometimes was the finisher, but she just had to concentrate harder and allow her body to do whatever it felt like. If something didn't feel right, she would try to stop it or alter the movement altogether. Even if Garfield would sometimes do something a little off, she always had her little ways of telling him, and he more or less usually understood what to do to fix the problem. And then she could finish for him to get something more out of it then earlier.

But now, she was in charge of the whole process. Well, technically he had started it off, but she just had to start the mantra. Now everything else was up to her and she didn't know what types of movements his body respond to more or less as he usually had her body figured out more then she knew his. She was hoping she was at least doing a decent job for him. Of course, he would tell her it was the best _ever_, no matter _what_, but she rather have it closer to the truth then not.

While he was enjoying the view of her perspiring face, he could see their books surrounding them up in the air, covered in the black energy, and slowly dancing around them as if the books were a tribe and the two were the fire that was placed in the center of the camp. He barely noticed the objects floating around them, because maybe trivial things like his heart was a bigger concern then a pile of objects being destroyed in their room.

He didn't even _want_ to think about what was going on in any other part of the Tower. If the Titans knew what was good for them, they wouldn't question the sudden destruction of an object or part of the building structure. Hopefully, they knew what was good for them. They couldn't be that oblivious to Raven's powers. But, unfortunately, they still were.

"AZARA….th…..MEN-TR-TR…trion…zin….thos…." She said, exhaling louder as she was beginning to lose the desire to talk anymore.

He squeezed her hands tighter and kissed the left one as she kneeled forward faster before she went back up to arch her back. "You—You're doing…good…RAE…."

She released his hands and made their way up to his shoulder, gripping onto them tight, she made the same fast motions that Garfield would make towards the finale. He took his arms and wrapped them around her neck even though she was alternating between lifting her head up and lowering it back down again. When she came back down to him again, with her breast brushing up against his abdomen, she kissed his neck—something she had never done before since she was always chanting her mantra—before she lifted her head again as she continued her mantra again. It was a pleasant surprise for him, as kissing was something she rarely done in the moment. His soft and wet skin was just too irresistible to her; she just had to kiss it. At least, that was her reasoning—that she was a sex slave on his demand—but really, she just _wanted_ to kiss him.

Then a thought appeared in his head, a thought that wasn't his own.

_Say my name,_ Raven's voice rang in his head. He looked up to her, but she didn't show any signs of breaking her concentration.

"You…..want me…..to say…..YOUR…..name?" He asked to the chanting body.

When she came back down to him, she whispered in his ear, "Azarath…..", which to him suggested 'yes'.

"GETTING….getting a bit do-dominated…..aren't we?….." He asked, in a jokingly manner while he exhaled hard as she continued her chant, and swallowed a mouth full of saliva.

She once again whispered "Azarath," in his ear to imply that yes; yes, she was becoming dominated.

_She_ couldn't yell out his name without destroying something in the process, because she had to keep her chant going, but _he_ could yell out her name without any consequence. She resumed the workout, going faster and faster until she reached the point of ecstasy. She sat up to fully enjoy the last part, holding his hands tightly.

As she reached to the pivotal point, he yelled out from the top of his lungs, "RAVEN! OH RAVEN, RAVEN, RAVEN, RAVEN, RAVEN...OH, RAVEN LOGAN!…SHE IS MINE!...YOU HEAR THAT, TRIGON YOU MOTHERFUCKER?…._SHE'S_ MINE! MINE I TELL YOU!" He held onto her arms tight as she fell on top of him, not caring that he had said more than her name. All the books fell from their place in the air and landed on the floor.

They both were embraced in each other's arms as they tried to calm down their breathing, with both of them crawling underneath the blankets to cover them up. Raven grazed her hands against his abs as she tried to open her eyes, but she was having a hard time.

"You're mine….you're mine…." He chanted to himself moments later, combing her hair, as he continued to rest on his back while she laid next to him.

"Do you…..do you feel….better?..." She asked, carefully opening her eyes and looking at his face as he looked at her.

"Yes….loads better….I mean…..you're good…._really_ good….of course I don't have…..don't have anyone to compare it to….so I only assume—"

"No, no." She said, interrupting his speaking pattern and possibly a long speech about how 'good' she was, even though she knew he exaggerated a bit. She continued to rub his abdomen, trying to pick her words carefully. "I mean about…..about Trigon….what you said…"

He didn't know what to say for a second or two, but kept his eyes on her. "Yes….I do feel better…_but_ I still….have this loathing feeling in my gut…." He said as his voice indicated he was getting a little irritated.

She could hear his inner beast growling from his chest. She brush a lock of his hair away from his face to calm the beast down inside. He noticed her brushing away the lock of hair and regretted the growling he made a few seconds before. He kissed her chakra to make amends.

"But hopefully," He continued as he started to brush away the hair from her face. "Hopefully, the worst is…is behind us…."

"Hopefully."

"I like that," He said, trailing off to another subject. "I like that name, 'Raven Logan'…..we don't say it often enough….."

"It's better than Garfield…..being named after a cat…" She said, trying to quietly insult him, trying to humor his inner beast so it wouldn't come out again.

"What are you talking about _Raven_….you're named after a bird…."

"It's better than being named after a cat." She simply stated with a menacing smile on her face as she kept her gaze on him.

"I know what…..you're trying….to do….but you're still _mine_…" He said, kissing her chakra again.

She patted his chest, before she rested her head on it. "I don't want you to get…..another attack….please don't ruin the moment…by mentioning his name…"

"I won't….not anymore….I won't mention _him_ again until our next session…." He said, as he breathed heavily so the movement of his body could sooth her to sleep. She closed her eyes and allowed her hands to lay limp on the edge of his hip. He took a hold of it and played with her fingers for a bit before he started to feel drowsy himself.

GOD, THAT CHAPTER TOOK A LOT MORE RESEARCH THEN NORMAL. SEE YA NEXT WEEK. BUT PROBABLY NOT ON THE ELEVENTH, SINCE THAT WOULD BE DEPRESSING AND POSSIBLY DISTASTEFUL FOR THE OCCASION. MY GRANDMA WAS A CHILD LIVING IN HAWAII DURING PEARL HARBOR, MY MOTHER WAS A CHILD WHEN JFK WAS SHOT, AND I WAS TEN WHEN ADULTS WERE TRYING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING THAT THEY EVER SAID OR TAUGHT ME.


	28. The Demon Inside of Her

MY BOSS IS STARTING TO GIVE ME SUNDAY'S OFF, WHICH IS VERY NICE THEN WHAT WAS GOING ON BEFORE. HOWEVER, INSTEAD OF WORKING ON MY SCHOOLWORK WITH THAT EXTRA TIME, I END UP PLAYING MINECRAFT.

Both Garfield and Raven had awoken around the same time the next day. They didn't say a word, but merely gazed into each other's eyes. They both dressed quietly. Just as they were about to go their separate ways, because Raven wanted to stay in the room to clean up and Garfield wanted to see if the rest of the Tower was alright, he took her by the side and pressed his lips against hers for a few seconds before he broke off. He left without saying a word, but there didn't need to be anything said. As he walked out, one of her books exploded up in the air before landing on the floor.

"Well, that's promising." She said to herself sarcastically. She looked around the room. Several weeks ago it was destroyed by her emotional outbreaks from her father, now it was scratched up again from a night of passion with her companion. Needless to the say, the real victim in all this was the building structure. "I've got to redecorate."

* * *

The big screen television had been destroyed, while the three Titans were watching it, so Garfield had to come up with some far-fetch explanation for it, seeing as they were _still_ oblivious to Rae's powers during a night with Garfield. He feared that one day the Titans would put the puzzle pieces together of all the strange destruction around the Tower and discovered the truth. Cyborg would sometimes figure it out, but usually when he would find destruction surrounding him, he wouldn't _immediately_ come to conclusion of Rae and Garfield's sex life.

* * *

A few days later Garfield's heart level was still a little higher than normal—just as Raven had feared—and was forced to have more down time then before, as well as a stricter diet and a longer exercise routine. She wouldn't even listen to Cyborg's advice about how Garfield shouldn't be that lazy, but fuck it, she had to take care of her man. Lydia did get her wish; her mother was now teaching her instead of someone else, even if that someone would have been a well-known Titan.

"So, this is how we're going to do things around here for now?" Garfield asked, lounging on the couch with his sweat pants and loose blue T-shirt. He was reading the new book Raven had gotten him, about the strange romance story between a Deaf man and a witch. "You want me to just lie here until I exercise or eat, with you takeover Lydia's schoolwork until the Titan's call you?" The question was more to tease Raven then to actually be curious.

"Yes." She said, without looking up.

She had purchased a small table with chairs in the living room, so Lydia could have a nice desk for her incoming school work. The desk faced the window, so there was something nice to look at when she was bored. Raven was sitting next to her, looking over her school books. She was wearing her uniform, just in case she was called out by the Titans, while Lydia was draped with a yellow sun dress, with her hair in a pony tail.

"And you're _trying_ to punish me for what I did?" He asked.

"You're just lucky you like tofu." She said, turning to a page in the book and handing it over to Lydia. "Okay, Lydia, right here, do this page. You need to learn how to write the alphabet."

"Mama, what did Daddy do to be 'punish'?" Lydia asked.

"He scared me and he knows I can't feel that way." She said, being not that far from the actual truth.

"Because he got the attack?"

Raven paused for second before she replied, "Yes. And then afterward he didn't take my precaution about staying calm, so now I am forcing him to take care of himself."

"What's 'precaution'?" Was all Lydia could asked.

"Um, it means someone's words need to be taken seriously, like a warning." She said, remembering who she was talking too.

"Oh. Why didn't Daddy listen to you? He says you're smart. Why didn't he listen to you?"

"Because he thought he was right and then he found out he was wrong. Simple as that." Raven said, pointing to the page, trying divert her attention. "Now, I want you to do five lines each of capital 'I', 'i', capital 'J', and 'j'."

" 'K." She said, not wanting to push her mother's patient. Lydia wrote her letter's as neat as possible—at least as neat as a four-year old can get.

"Good." Raven said, after she wrote a series of 'I's that she felt were adequate enough for her standards.

"Hey, Rae!" Garfield shouted out to his grey companion.

"What?" She asked without glancing over to him.

"This book has some pictures in it."

"So, it's your instant favorite now? Your quality of literature is measure by the amount of drawings it has in it."

"I'm just saying; nothing motivates me more to read then looking at pictures."

"Then you wouldn't mind watching a foreign film with me that has subtitles. After all, that has _moving_ pictures with a bit of reading."

"Well, I'm not _that_ desperate to read." He said, as he went back to his book.

"I am." She said, looking over Lydia's work. "Ten or so years in Africa when you were young without a proper education shouldn't excuse you now, when you _can_ have a proper education."

"It _can't_? Because that's my only excuse. Besides, you taught me enough."

"I only know so much and you hold me to a higher standard than anybody else, so of course you think I've taught you everything there is to know about anything." She said, turning towards Lydia, as she was done talking to him. "This is good. Now make sure when you write your letters to space them out between each other, so I can see each letter clearly and how well you write them, and not have them clump up together."

" 'K. When can I learn how to write words?" Lydia asked, looking up to Raven with her curious eyes.

Raven couldn't help, but smile, as Lydia was showing signs an eager student ready to learn, much like Raven herself. One of the ways Raven could prevent herself from feeling too much when she was younger was to get lost in her school work. Perhaps Lydia was following a similar pattern; wanting to learn in order to occupy her mind. Or maybe she was acting like a normal child and Raven couldn't see past her Demonic heritage.

"Why are you smiling, Mama?" Lydia asked, realizing that her mother had been beaming at her for about a minute without answering her question. For a normal child, a smile wouldn't be any concern, but for Lydia, she was confused.

Raven went back to her deadpan expression, while she checked Lydia's work. "Nothing. I'm just glad that you are interested in school work."

"But Mama, aren't you not supposed to smile—"

"—If I meditate and keep my emotions—I mean feelings—limited, then I can express them safely." Raven said. "You'll be able to write words in a short time, but first you must learn the basics of writing down the letters correctly and neatly. Work on your 'J's."

" 'K." Lydia said, grabbing her pencil and sliding the paper closer to her so she could begin her lines on the letter 'J'. Raven sat there quietly watching her as she looked out the window to watch the soothing ocean sway back and forth, as it was right next to the chaotic city.

"Careful now Rae," Garfield shouted across the room. He had been observing her for a while with his book facing down on his stomach. "You're _actually_ showing signs of enjoying yourself. Remember what you had told me before? That being stuck in the Tower was _torturous_ for you? Well, now, it wasn't the Hell you once thought it was."

"Maybe." She said, glaring back at him. "At least _someone_ is interested in reading around here."

"Oh, nag, nag, nag." He said, mimicking her mouth with his hand by flapping them around. She raised her eyebrow. "You mad?" He asked mischievously, knowing that he was annoying her on purpose.

"Careful now, Garfield, I can still make you read _War and Peace_, if I want." She said, with her deadpan face.

"Oh, you can't make me read _that_."

"I _know_ I can." She said as she smiled. He scoffed.

"Yeah, you _would_ find a way." He said before he stuck out his tongue as he went back to reading his book.

She went back to watching Lydia practicing her 'J's. "Good, that's good."

"Can I take a break after this? My hand is tired." Lydia asked innocently.

"Not at the moment. After you do this, I want you to practice your 'O's and 'U's. And then you can take a break." Raven said, not expecting much of a reaction from her.

"But I want to take a break sooner." She said, looking up to Raven.

"After you finished your 'J's, 'O's, and 'U's. Let's get down some of the alphabet first before we start taking breaks."

Lydia stopped and put down her pencil and looked into her mother's eyes with desperation. Something was off.

"Lydia." Raven said with a tone. "Pick up your pencil and continue your work." But Lydia folded her arms in protest.

"I'm tired, I want a break." She said in a calm voice, but with harsh tone attached to it. Raven raised her eyebrow and picked up Lydia's pencil.

"Don't argue. Do what you are told. You were doing fine before; I don't know why you are defying me now." Raven said in her control voice.

"Mama, I want a break _now_."

Lydia's expression barely changed as she stared into her mother's eyes, but the chair Raven was sitting on started to lift up in the air ever so slightly. Raven leaped off from the chair, before it flew up higher and collided into the ceiling, causing Raven to catch the broken pieces with her black energy and safely set it down on the floor. Garfield looked up from his book to see what all the noise was about. Before Raven had anytime to calmly talk to her daughter, she saw the window, that was directly behind Lydia, covered in the familiar black energy.

"Lydia!" Raven shouted to her in distress.

But before Lydia could respond back, the glass in the black energy unleashed a crack and the crack quickly began to grow. She looked up at the window in horror to see what kind of danger she was putting herself in, but she didn't know how to stop the crack from growing, and stood there, terrified. Raven grabbed Lydia by her arm and teleported her out of the room and into the hallway before the glass broke off. The window shattered into a hundred big pieces that scattered around the area where Raven and Lydia had previously stood.

Garfield shielded himself with his arms from the glass and waited until he could feel the wind blowing in his hair before he put down his book and unshielded himself. He looked at the giant hole in the window, and the broken pieces of glass scattered around the small table. After the last shard of glass fell on the floor, he heard Raven's voice in the hallway and quickly ran out of the room.

* * *

"Raven, what happened?" He asked, as soon as he opened the door, with the book still gripped tightly in his hand. He saw Raven kneeled down to a terrified Lydia, and Raven herself didn't look well as she gripped tightly on Lydia's shoulders.

"Lydia was expressing…..her frustration out on me." Raven told him calmly, as she rubbed her shoulders for comfort.

"Mama—I didn't mean too—I didn't—!" Lydia tried to explain herself. She was breathing really heavy and was having a hard time communicating sentences properly.

"I know you didn't. I know you didn't." Raven said to her, lowering her head as she was disappointed in herself for causing Lydia to become angry. Raven had pushed her limits on Lydia and paid the price. "Unfortunately, Lydia, sweetheart, you're not like other children. When you get mad, you take it out on objects in the room. The more you feel, the more energy you release."

"But why?—Why can't I _feel_ my feelings?" Lydia shouted out angrily. Both Raven and Garfield could hear more shattering glass in the other room. Lydia began to develop tears in her eyes. "Why, Mama!—Why?" Her nose trickling down with mucus as her whole face became red.

But her mother couldn't even look her in the eyes; Raven could only rub her shoulders and look away. Lydia was forced to turn to her father for comfort. However, all Garfield could do was to give her a sympathetic look as the tears formed in her eyes. It seemed all at once that she started to connect the pieces. Even though she was told the reasons why she had to meditate, it almost seemed that she had a revelation. She had asked enough questions, had been given the truthful answers, and now realized the position she was put in.

"It's Mama!—It's because Mama-ma can't feel, so I can't-can't feel! I hate this! I-I want to cry, but-but people say I can't because I-I destroy things!—But I wanna-na-na cry!" She shouted out to her parents as she continued to allow her tears to flow freely, covering her eyes with her hands. "It's because of Mama, it's-it's because of Mama…." She mumbled to herself.

Raven and Garfield could hear some grinding noises in the living room, with glass shattering and kitchen ware being thrown around, possibly with the new television being destroyed, again. However, their priorities were a little diverted for the moment. Garfield put his arms around Lydia and hugged her tightly as his little angel continued to wreck havoc in the next room. Raven stood up and walked a little distance away from them.

"Shh. Shhh." Was all he could whisper to his daughter. Raven gazed at them, not knowing what to say to make the situation better. If anything, her saying something would have made the situation worse. "It's alright Lydia." He continued to whisper.

After what it seemed like a few minutes passed by, Raven thought it was safe enough to carefully walked back to them and kneeled down. She gently put a hand on Lydia's shoulder, rubbing it back and forth, again. After a while, Lydia seemed to stop hyperventilating and started breathing normally again, with the occasional sniffle.

"Now you know why you don't have any brothers or sisters." Raven calmly said. "We didn't want to have many children running around with destructive powers. That's why your meditation is important." Lydia looked down, but managed to face her mother.

"But-but I hate the way-way I am." She said, putting her thumb in her mouth for comfort. Raven looked down.

"I said the same thing when I was your age." Raven calmly said, before she added. "I also said it to my mother as well."

"Lydia, if you are _feeling_ too much, let us know and we can help you calm down before you hurt yourself." Garfield had chimed in. Lydia looked up at him.

"Why-why couldn't I have _your_ powers? Why Mama's?" Lydia asked. She didn't mean too, but it caused Raven to let go of her shoulder and back away from her slowly, again, with this look of horror in her eyes, almost as if Trigon himself had shown up.

While Raven did agree with her, that Lydia should have had Garfield's powers (Even though it was almost genetically impossible for him to pass it down), Raven still felt betrayed by her own daughter's words, as if Lydia was rejecting Raven altogether.

"_Lydia_." Garfield said softly in a harsh tone. "That's not nice." He looked up to Raven. "Rae, she doesn't mean it. Lydia, (_turning his attention back to her_) I know you're upset, but it is not your mother's fault you are the way you are."

"Yes, it is." Raven said in her monotone, reclaiming her stoic attitude from before and erasing all evidence of ever being taken aback for at least a second. Both Garfield and Lydia turned their attention to her as Raven walked back to them and kneeled before Lydia. "I am responsible for you being the way you are. But even though you have to suppress your feelings, that doesn't mean you can't enjoy life to its fullest."

Lydia seemed to dry up her tears a bit and only had a swelled up face, while she continued to suck her thumb.

"I never had friends when I was young, because other children were afraid of me due to my gloomy attitude. I _did_ throw my share of temper tantrums and I _did_ break a lot of valuable items. But I soon learned how to control it and used the few feelings I had to focus on perfecting my powers—instead of unleashing out in the world." Raven said, putting her hand on Lydia's head, and combing through her thick blackish-violet hair. "You'll learn how to control them soon enough. And holding your feelings back will become easier to do as well. I won't lie, it's not easy, but meditating will make it easier to do."

Lydia kept on sucking her thumb as she looked at the closed door to the living room. Both of her parents were kneeling before her, with Garfield rubbing her one free hand as he noticed the direction of her eyes. He allowed for a few more minutes to go by, as her sniffling was quieting down.

"It's okay now. Lydia, I want you to—Lydia, look at me." He demanded softly. She looked down to him. "I want you to go to your room, while Mama and I clean up the mess. I want you to stay there, so I know where you are. You're not in trouble; you just need some quiet time."

"I'm not in trouble?" She asked, taking her thumb out to clarify her delicate situation with her parents. Garfield smiled, and brushed her hair off to the side to ease her nerves.

"No, you're not trouble." He said calmly. "But I just want you to stay in your room so you have a chance to calm yourself down. Play with your toys or draw a picture. Do anything to take your mind off of what just happened."

She stood up, putting her thumb back in her mouth, brushing away Raven's hand on her head, and walked slowly down the hallway to find her room. Raven questioned whether Lydia brushed her off because Lydia was mad at her, scared of her, or scared to show any more emotions then she already showed that day. But just as Lydia was turning the corner, Raven pushed those thoughts aside as she was trying to get her priorities straight. She looked back at Garfield.

"So…it begins." She simply said.

"Oh, Rae, there's always something going on. The moment she was born, she caused destruction to the Tower from the labor itself. This too shall pass. I read that somewhere." He said, before she gave him a doubtful look. "Or, you probably told me you read it somewhere." He said, rolling up his short sleeves—which he realized was pointless, but continued to do so anyway to look more masculine to his grey counterpart—in order to prepare for the tedious chore of cleaning up the destructed living room. "Hey, are you alright?"

"Define 'alright." She said, staring into his eyes.

"Well, I mean what she _said_…..it was way out of line." He said with her looking down. He grabbed one of her hands, interlocking them with his fingers. "It is not your fault that your Demonic genes are overpowering. In time, she'll realized what she said was wrong."

"But she was right." She said looking up to him. He exhaled heavily.

"Rae, I don't how much reassurance I can give you. _You_ know what she said was wrong, but you blame yourself anyway. It's an endless loop." She looked back down. "Look," He said, regretting his remark. "Come and help me clean up the living room."

"But Lydia—"

"Lydia needs some alone time. Wouldn't _you_ want to be alone at a time like this?" He asked. She slowly nodded her head and followed his lead.

* * *

Luckily, all the damage that was done was easy enough to clean and fix up before the others came home. The new television wasn't destroyed, thank Azarath, or Cyborg would have had Garfield's head on a spike. Raven had focused all her energy in cleaning up the glass and replacing the window while Garfield cleaned up the kitchen. He threw out several melted pots and pans, vacuumed the whole living room floor, and wondering if he could fix the ripped cushions on the couches.

Neither of them said a word the whole time, only focusing on their task at hand. It wasn't until Raven made a cup of tea for herself, and hot chocolate for Garfield, while he was still working, that she decided to break the ice.

"Here you go." She said, handing him the hot chocolate as he was trying to sew one of the cushions back together with a single thread and needle. He put his work down and sat safely away from the rip as he drank the sugary liquid. Rae sat down next to him, sipping her own drink.

"She doesn't need to go to Azarath." He said calmly, without her mentioning anything, but he just knew. "She would be worse off in Azarath because she would feel like we were abandoning her." He looked at his cup for comfort.

"I don't want to send her away either, but—"

"Dammit Rae, you're not taking her away from me!" He shouted out as he looked up at her. She winced at his tone and merely looked away; she was somewhat expecting that, but she still didn't like it. He softened his expression and put a hand on her knee. "I'm sorry, Rae, I'm just a little startled. What I meant was that, I know it _seems_ logical to take her to Azarath by now, since this does prove that she needs more training. I know Azarath is the best option for her _powers_, but it's not the best option for us, or for her, _psychology_."

He wanted her to look back at him, but after a minute past by, he gave up and went back to his hot chocolate. As he was about to pull his hand away from her knee, she had grasped it with her own. He looked back up.

"You're right." She simply said, staring into his eyes. He smiled and took another sip of his hot chocolate. "We've made it this far by disobeying my mother and all. Extra meditation won't hurt." She looked over to the needle and thread and raised an eyebrow. "When did you learn how to sew?"

"Hey, when you're a stay-at-home dad, you've got to learn some basic home economics. She sometimes gets her blanket torn or her clothes get ripped, and I have to learn how to fix it. It's easier to learn this skill then to wait for you to come home." He said, as she smiled. She then began looking around the room, as it still looked like the remains of a wild party that had taken place that afternoon.

"I wonder what the others are going to say." She said.

"To be honest Rae—"

"—Right, you don't give a damn. You know that line rubs off after a while." She said, drinking her tea while he rubbed her hands. "So, you learn how to sew for the sake of your daughter?"

"Hand sew and only to fix things. I'm not exactly _Project Runway_ material."

She looked out of the newly installed window, which was noticeably cleaner than the others, and watched the ocean forming waves towards the horizon.

"We should finish up," She said, before sipping her tea again. "The other's are going to be home soon."

"So soon?"

"Well we did have the whole Tower to ourselves for the day."

"I know, but it got interrupted."

She looked down. "I know."

* * *

Starfire came home before the others. She had taken Bruce to the city doctors to get his monthly checkup. Of course at some point she had realized that maybe she wasn't the best person to take him to the doctors because she didn't know what any of them were talking about half the time. She swore she had become an expert in everything that had anything to do with Earth related culture and was confident to take him herself at first, but sometimes she would stare blankly at the doctor as he tried to explain what flu shots were or the basic Earthly needs for a baby. Robin was not home yet, as he was patrolling the city with Cyborg, and for some reason she thought she it would be appropriated to talk about the various doctor topics while both Raven and Garfield were having their dinner at the kitchen counter.

"…Friend Beast Boy, did you have to get 'the circumcision'?" Starfire asked just as Garfield had put a mouthful of tofu salad in his mouth. He started coughing as he almost choked from the unprepared question. Raven pat him on the back, trying to relieve some room for him to swallow, before he wolf down his water in a hurry to sooth his throat.

"Starfire! He just had a heart attack." Raven said, as she rubbed his back to make sure he had swallowed all his food correctly.

"I didn't mean too—I am so sorry Beast Boy, I was just curious. I mean, did it hurt?" Starfire asked, hovering over him to see what was going on.

"I'm fine now. You just caught me off guard." He said, putting down his water.

"No, I mean doing 'the circumcision', did that hurt? It's just that the doctor told me about it, and I want to know if Bruce should get one or not." Being totally obliviously to the fact that humans could choke on their food and die from it. He decided to excuse her cruel disinterest of his wellbeing because she probably didn't know what she had done and it was just easier to have Robin explain things to her than anyone else.

"Okay, Star," He said, putting his hand out to name off a list. "One: Never, ever ask a guy _that_ when he is eating, because it's personal. Two: I personally wasn't told by my parents if I was ever circumcised and since I got a disease when I was young, I am not sure what _changed_ and what _stay the same_. I'm just not sure. Three: a baby can't remember something like that. So, even if you did get him one, he wouldn't remember it. Four:…..just ask Robin. End of _this_ conversation." He said, crossing his arms to imply that he wouldn't answer anymore questions. He then went back to eating his tofu, hopefully more safely this time.

"Oh, well okay Beast Boy. Sometimes I don't know what is—how Robin says—'over the limit' conversation. So, this is one of them?" She asked, with him nodding as he chew. "Well then I shall not ask it anymore among friends. Only with Robin." She sat back down, just as Bruce started to whimper in his sleep on the couch. "Oh, coming snuggles." She said, floating to Bruce to assist him.

"Snuggles?" He said to Raven.

"At least it's not a Tamaranean nickname." Raven said as she continued to eat. She swallowed her food before she looked back to Garfield. "How can you _not_ know if you're…..?"

"How can _you_ not know?" He said mischievously, lowering his voice, and raising his eyebrows. She raised her own eyebrow.

"Oh, I _know_." She said, with a small smirk on her face, before she went back to her deadpan expression. "I was just _hoping_ you would know yourself. I mean, you're not _that_ stupid."

"Well, I'm just glad I have a daughter, so I don't have to deal with _these_ types of decisions. Did I mention how much I love having a daughter?" Her grin slipped as she gave him a blank stare.

"Speaking of which." She said, darting her eyes to the hallway door, trying to change the topic for both his sakes and hers.

"Let's finish our meal first." He said. She looked down, and this forced him to grip her hand. "Hey, it's going to be okay. It's just another day at Titans Tower."

WARNING, A RANT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS: SO, I JUST HEARD THAT IN THE NEW COMICS, THAT THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE RAVEN OR BEAST BOY IN IT. IN THE LAST ISSUE, BEFORE THE REBOOT, THERE WAS THIS ROMANTIC SCENE OF THEM KISSING, WHICH I HAVE NOT READ YET BUT ONLY SEEN PICTURES OF. BUT NOW, NO MORE OF THAT IN THE REBOOT ISSUES. HOPEFULLY THEY'LL KEEP STATIC, BECAUSE I JUST LOVED HIM FROM THE CARTOONS. MAYBE IN TIME THEY'LL PUT RAVEN AND BEAST BOY IN, BUT RIGHT NOW I'M DISTURBED BY THIS NEWS.

I WILL LITERALLY SPEND MONEY ON AN ISSUE IF IT JUST HAD A CUTE MOMENT BETWEEN THEM. LITERALLY, MONEY. FOR FUCK SAKE DC, RAVEN AND BEAST BOY ARE MORE IMPORTANT THEN YOU THINK BECAUSE IT BROUGHT AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF SUPERHERO NERDS FROM THE CARTOONS TO READ THE COMICS, YOU HAVE TO BRING THEM BACK. IF YOU KNOW ABOUT ANY NEWS ABOUT THIS, PLEASE CORRECT ME LIKE, 'OH, NO, THEY'LL BRING THEM BACK', BUT FOR THE CURRENT MOMENT, I AM IN RAGE MODE. ERRR.


	29. Being Normal

GLAD I FINALLY GOT THIS CHAPTER DONE. TOO MANY PEOPLE ARE BAILING OUT AT THE STORE I WORK, SO I HAVE BEEN TAKING EXTRA SHIFTS, DOING EXTRA WORK AT MY USUAL DEPARTMENT BECAUSE OF THE TRAINEE, AND JUGGLING SCHOOL. I BOUGHT THE LAST ISSUE OF TEEN TITANS, NUMBER 100, NOT THE GRAPHIC NOVEL (IRONICALLY, I FOUND THE COMIC BOOK _SECTION_ AT MY BOOK STORE JUST BEFORE THE REBOOT…NOT MY GREATEST TIMING EVER. I SWEAR, I EVEN ASKED SOMEONE IF THERE WAS A COMIC BOOK SECTION AND THEY SAID 'THERE'S A GRAPHIC NOVEL SECTION'.), JUST SO I CAN SOAK UP THE LAST KNOWN RAE/BB MOMENTS BEFORE IT'S OVER.

I DON'T KNOW IF THE REBOOT WILL HAVE RAE OR BB, IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE ISSUE. MAYBE IF THERE IS PRESSURE, THEY'LL SLOWLY GET BACK TO WHERE THEY LEFT OFF. MAYBE. I'M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH. BUT THAT'S WHY THE INTERNET WAS INVENTED, SO US NERDS/GEEKS COULD CONTIUNE THE QUEST OF COUPLING WITH FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.

Lydia was sitting in her multicolor room, against her baby blue wall where her toys were placed. She was still wearing her yellow sun dress as she played with her pony tail for a bit before looking back down on the floor. She sat cross leg, looking at her tan blanket that had the various scenes of the African safari. She then went back to playing with her stuffed animals neatly stacked on the side and picked up her stuffed cat and stuffed bear.

"Now Kitty was shy and didn't like to play with Beary," Lydia said to herself, narrating her own story and moving the inanimate animals around. " 'Kitty, why don't you like me?'" She said in a low voice. "(_Raising her voice to a high pitch_) 'Because'(_Back to the low pitch_) 'Because why?' 'Because you scare me, you're a bear and bears scare me'….no that's stupid." She said to herself, wondering how she should continue her stuffed animal soap opera to take her mind off of her own problems. " 'I don't like you Beary, because…..because….because you like Doug the Dog, and I hate Doug.' (_She position the bear to look over to the brown stuffed dog on the other side of the room_) 'Why do you hate Doug?' 'Because he's a dog and I'm a cat.'"

At that moment someone knocked at the door. She put her stuffed animals down and looked up.

"Lydia?" Her father asked before he opened the door. She looked out at the window as he walked towards her. He left the door slightly ajar, as Raven wanted to wait outside. Garfield sat down next to her. "You didn't eat dinner with us. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No…..well….yeah…Daddy, why do I have powers?" She simply asked, looking up at him. "Can't Mama take them away from me?"

"No, I'm afraid she can't." He said, lowering his ears. "I know it's hard to understand, but you were born with these powers, and these powers happen to be both good and bad. Good, because you can do amazing tricks with them, and bad, because…..because you can't feel without destroying something with them. They are a part of you, like your eye and hair color."

"I don't like the good stuff if I have to have the bad stuff. How come I'm like this?" She asked, but more to herself then to her father.

He had already given her an answer, but she didn't want to believe it. She wanted to believe that her parents had a choice before she was born about which powers she could have and which she couldn't have. They probably decided to give her Raven's powers to her when she wasn't looking and now she was stuck with them forever.

"Just, don't think about it too much, or you'll get upset." He said, interrupting her train of thought. "I can see you were thinking about it just then. You have that same look your Mama has when she thinks about it too much. Let's think about something else. How about what you want for dinner. Hmm? Me and Mama already had something, so it's your choice what you want for dinner." She looked to the side, maintaining her grim expression. "Lydia, you gotta eat something." She looked up at the ceiling. "Are you being quiet on purpose, so you don't cry?"

She slowly nodded her head as she continued to avoid eye contact. She used to have his charismatic nature, and now her powers were preventing her from carry on a conversation with him.

"How about I make some pasta? Would you like that?" He asked, trying to get her out of this emotionless coma.

She nodded her head again as Garfield put his hand on her shoulder and rubbed it a bit before he said that he would have a bowl of pasta ready for her shortly. Then he turned around and walked out of the room.

* * *

"So?" Raven asked in concern even though she was able to maintain her pan dead expression as he closed the door.

"I think she is just trying to accept it as best as she possibly can." He said as he looked back at the closed door. "Rae…it's funny. Ever since you told me you would keep her when you were pregnant, I kept on practicing on how I would tell her the dark nature of her powers. I kept on practicing, hoping that _that_ particular day wouldn't come soon." He exhaled heavily as Rae looked down. "For a while, I was so happy that I figured it would _never_ come. But it has." He gently placed his hands on the door frame, hoping it would comfort him, as he continued to speak in a soft voice. "I thought I had that whole speech ready for her, but as soon as my heart attack came and we were having sessions about Trigon, I had stopped practicing the speech. I figured nothing else horrible can happen to us; that we were heroes and the universe owed us a little something for our troubles. Why did it have to happen now? Why?"

Raven couldn't do anything, but looked down as he spoke. A couple of times she wanted to interrupted, but thought it was best to let him finish his ramblings. When he was done, she looked back up and rested her hand up against the door with his. After she gave him another second to calm down, she opened the door slightly and gently nudged him a bit as she stepped inside. He looked back up as she gave him a reassuring glance before she closed the door.

* * *

Lydia heard her mother come in, but she was busy looking out of the window and watching the ocean violently beat up against the rocks. Raven walked in and sat down next to her and watched the same scene. Silence filled the room, as it was aa while before either mother or daughter said anything. They couldn't even hear the ocean since they were behind the glass, watching it from stories above, but they just imagined how it sounded. They felt a slight warmth in the air as the heater was kicking on due to the fact that it was almost dusk. Pretty soon the ocean would become hard to spot in the night as it would become a glistened black void against a dark blue sky instead of the clear blue sheet against the light orange, pinkish sky there was at the current moment.

A couple of times Lydia would look over to her mother, who wouldn't look back. Raven's face was stoic, her eyes suggested that she wasn't fully in the real world anymore, and she sat in her cross leg posed for a quite a while before she switched her legs.

Finally, Lydia couldn't take the silence anymore. "Mama, whatcha you doing?"

"Watching the ocean." She simply said without so much as moving her pupils towards Lydia's general direction.

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing. Daddy didn't quite know how to handle your powers delicately." She said. "But I do." She lied, but she lied for Lydia's benefit and not her own.

"What's going to happen?"

"Nothing. Unless you want something to happen." Raven said, continuing to look out of the window.

"What? What does that mean? You're confusing me, Mama."

"What are you confused about?"

"The thing you just said. What happens? Like, when I have feelings? What happens if I feel?"

"Your powers get unleash and destroy the closest thing near you."

"But why?"

"You know why."

"Why did you give me these powers?" Lydia asked, getting irritated as she well knew the answer to her pervious question.

"I didn't give them to you, you were born with them. If I had my choice, I would have made sure you had your father's instead. But sometimes life isn't fair. We are always thrown challenges throughout life. Only those with the strength from within can defeat them and live in peace." Raven realized she was playing the 'mystery girl' act, but she thought that maybe her 'mystery girl' act could work on Lydia as it could intrigue her more.

"I hate them." Lydia stated, folding her arms as she said so.

"You do not hate them. You hate the _bad_ parts of them. But you love everything else about them because you can do amazing things with them, such as making objects fly and reading people's thoughts."

"But I am not allowed to read—"

"For a good reason. It is more of a survival tool. If you are ever in a situation where a bad guy wants to hurt you, and Daddy and I are not there to help, use your powers to get away from him, such as reading his mind to know what his weakness are and run away." Raven looked over to Lydia in order to show how serious she was about her pervious statement. "Do you understand? If you _ever_ find yourself in danger, use your powers. But for _now_, you need to learn how to control your feelings. Understand?"

"Um, um, um, okay." Lydia said, as her mother continued to look into her eyes. Lydia had the opportunity to ask her mother a question, and she took it. "Mama? Mama, where did these powers come from? I mean, how do you know how to use them? Humans don't have powers, so…I mean Daddy says he's green because of a disease, but he's still human. Why are you grey? Did you get sick like Daddy?"

"Lydia," Raven said, looking off to the side before looking back into her eyes. "Lydia, I don't know if you are old enough to know the truth." Raven bluntly said. She could have lied or even given her a sugar-coated story, but she couldn't.

"Not old enough? I'm four and three quarters. I'll be five in—one, two, three (_Counting on her hands_)—in three weeks. My birthday month is almost here. I'm a big girl." She asked, holding out her fingers to show Raven that she would indeed turn five pretty soon. "Or is this like the Barbie rule?"

"It's like the Barbie rule." Raven said, trying anything to get her to stop talking about this topic.

"But why?" She complained.

"You need to learn how to control yourself. When you have learned enough, we will then tell you." Raven said, lowering her head.

"But why? Why are _we_ this way?" She asked, grabbing Raven by her cloak and yanking on it. "Mama, why?" Raven turned around to face Lydia, and kneeled before her.

Raven couldn't say anything more. Garfield may have practice his speech for Lydia hundreds of times, but Rae could barely begin to explain anything to her. She was half hoping Garfield would have helped prepare her for her speech as well, but she knew she was just kidding herself.

"You're right, you are turning five." Raven said, changing the subject as she pushed a piece of Lydia's hair back behind her ear. "Maybe you _will_ be old enough for a Barbie by then."

"A Barbie!" Lydia asked with excitement, taking her mind off of the conversation at hand. "Really?"

She was going to give Lydia a childhood, one that Rae herself never had and always wanted. Although, Lydia was already having a strange childhood to begin with, seeing as her parents were superheroes and she lived away from others, it was still pretty normal psychology then it was for her mother.

"Maybe." Raven said with a mysterious tone, while smiling, suggesting that she would indeed give her a Barbie on her fifth birthday. "Come on," She said, picking Lydia up and heading towards the door. "You need to eat something and I hear Daddy's making you pasta."

Raven refused to be her mother, and while her mother did raise her in a safe environment with the best education in the world, Arella didn't exactly win the 'best mother' award from Rae herself. In fact, Rae would have welcomed a little danger in her life if it meant her mother could have hugged her once in a while instead of once a year by her account.

* * *

Lydia's fifth birthday came around and she did indeed get the long awaited Barbie doll. However, she didn't receive the usual blond Barbie. She was given Christie, the African American Barbie, with a pair of clothes. Nothing too fancy, but enough to satisfied her. Raven thought that it was a way for her to be gradually introduced to Barbie with a Christie doll, as Lydia could just pretend it was a plastic version of her African Native dolls. Garfield, on the other hand, thought that _Raven_ was the one who wasn't ready for a blond hair, blue eyes doll, as it could remind her of a _certain_ someone.

It was a moment of distraction for Lydia to have a Barbie, just so she could stop asking questions. Both Garfield and Raven knew what they were doing was devious, but they were buying time; the more they could protect her from the truth, the longer she could maintain her innocence's, and just be a somewhat normal girl who happened to have superheroes as parents.

Okay, so not completely normal, but _close_ enough.

For the next few months, Garfield had enough strength to start teaching Lydia again while Raven was gone. However, he was still forced to take care of himself. Starfire was home most of the time by now, especially during the critical months when Bruce was learning how to walk and talk.

Little Bruce was able to gradually stand up and walk a few feet before he would collapsed by the time his first birthday came. It was an interesting time to see how Lydia would react to Bruce getting toys while she didn't. The Logan's realized that they were going to have to explain to Lydia that when a birthday came around that wasn't her own, that she _wasn't_ going to be the center of attention.

While Cyborg loved the fact that he was an Uncle from two different families, he was beginning to feel like the Tower was becoming more of a daycare center. So, he started spending more times at certain clubs in the city. Sometimes with Bumblebee, sometimes with Jinx. And sometimes with a completely different female Titan just to make either Bumblebee or Jinx jealous. Yeah, he wasn't exactly ready to settle down just _quite_ yet.

He liked Jinx because they both could relate to each other, but she managed to be too moody sometimes. And he liked Bumblebee because they had the greatest time together, but she sometimes created drama when there wasn't any, which made Cyborg think that all women were crazy. The girls themselves knew sometimes what they were getting nto when they would take him back, but they must of have their own twisted reasons why they didn't just end their relationship with him. Of course, Cyborg sometimes wondered why Bumblebee would take him back, or why he would take Jinx back. But at the current moment, he was dating neither, and was out clubbing to see if he could find a sane woman for once.

* * *

Raven was meditating in their room, above the bed, with her pajamas on as Garfield walked into the room, still having his day's clothes on. He smiled as he made his way over to his clothing drawer, watching her peacefully hovering above their bed.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…." She whispered in her monotone. She rested the back of her hands on her knees, crossing her index finger and her thumb. "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…."

As soon as Garfield had taken off his T-shirt and put on his other pair of sweatpants, he carefully made his way to the bed. He slowly crawled on his kneels over to her quietly, smiling mischievously, as if he was a predator targeting his prey. He waited until she began chanting again before he sprint up on her and wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her down.

"Aza—Garfield!" She said as she fell on top of the bed, landing on Garfield's body, which made her interrupt her concentration. As she tried to unravel herself from his grip, he began to kiss her neck. "Down boy." Commanding him as she rolled her eyes, but he wouldn't listen. "What are you doing? I have to meditate."

"You've meditated all day." He whispered in her ear, trying to give reason to his actions. She used her black energy to remove his hands from her waist. "You know, doing that just encourages me want to grab you again."

"_Anything_ I do encourages you. You would grab me at a _funeral_ if you had the chance. There isn't a sacred moment when you won't." She said.

"Well, if it's someone I didn't know that died," He said, thinking about the situation in his head. "I would wait until everyone was looking at the body before I—"

"—I was kidding." She said as she regained her position once more above the bed

"I wasn't." He said in a sly manner. He lay back on his hands as he once again watched her. "Can you teach me?"

"Teach you what? Not to grab me by surprise? I'm afraid we are beyond that point by now."

"No; teach me how to meditate. After all, I taught you how to play videogames."

"Meditate?" She asked, turning around with her powers and opened her eyes. "Since when—"

"Well, I have been reading up on 'what to do after your heart attack' type of books. And some of them talk about meditation and its benefits. Can—I mean—would meditation calm my nerves down?" He asked looking into her eyes. "Or is it not for me?"

"It might help, but if you don't have the patience for reading a boring book, I don't know how much….."

"Oh." He said, looking down, as his ears flopped to the side. She raised her eyebrow and looked to the side before looking up to him again.

"I probably should explain. It's hard enough to get Lydia to meditate, and the last time you tried—well the last _two_ times you tried—we ended up getting into an argument."

"Well, that's because…_you_ know," He said, trying to defend himself, as he looked up. She gave him a perplexed expression, telling him that she didn't understand what he was talking about. "_You_ know…it was before I proposed…the _seventh_ time….we were both alone in a quiet, dark room, and I'm supposed to _not_ be thinking, right? Well, I couldn't sit _there_—with you—three feet away from me…just casually breathing and with me thinking it was the _most_ sexiest thing in the world, but I couldn't touch you _that_ way, then?" She blushed, but tried to hide it by looking the other way. "Back then, I was sexually frustrated, so I got mad. But now, I can touch you, I can—"

"—Alright, we don't need to get into details here." She interrupted him as she turned her head. "If you are serious—"

"—I am—"

"—Then let's try." She said. "You know what to do; sit up, sit in a lotus position or any position you feel comfortable, find your center" He sat crossed-leg, as he straightened his back. "Close your eyes," She closed her own eyes as he did so. "Breath normally, try not to think about anything, only focusing on your breath. If your mind does wander—which it indubitably it will—try to think of only relaxing things."

The first few minutes, he thought he looked like an idiot as he was just sitting on the bed, trying to _breathe_. How stupid could he be if he needed to focus on _breathing_? Day one on Earth, or on any planet, when someone was born, the first they learned to do was to breath. And yet, here he was, doing the most basic human need, on a _learning_ curve.

He wanted to slouch in his spot, because that was more comfortable, but realized he needed to sit up properly. After a minute went by, with this silence between them, he find it quite uneasy, especially since he had his eyes closed and couldn't _watch_ her.

His mind was busy and it was keeping him from focusing on his breathing. Again, he didn't think he was _that_ stupid, but apparently he needed to learn how to _breathe_ properly.

"So, what did you say about your mind wandering?" He asked.

"Think of something that would calm you down." She quietly said. Another minute past.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Anything."

"What specifically?" He asked, smirking as he just annoying her on purpose. She sighed, knowing him too well. "Come on, you _have_ meditated all day already. Go ahead, humor me."

"I'm not biting. If you are serious about learning how to meditate, you need to keep your mind clear or think of a calming scene. I know too well. As soon as I start talking, you'll derail my meditation and I'll regret it in the morning."

"Fine, I'll try to 'clear my head'." He said before he sighed heavily and sat up straight again.

_Ok, ok, ok, clear my head, clear my head…..clearing…..I am clearing…..hmm, I wonder when we're going to get rain; it's been months since we have gotten some. We're going to be in a drought if we don't get rain soon. I know a lot of people hate the rain, but rain is necessary to keep water prices down…oh dammit! I'm thinking again. Okay, no thinking, don't think a single thought…stop thinking…stop thinking…stop thinking…should I grow my hair out a bit, to go for that rugged look?—Oh, dammit!_ He thought.

A couple of minutes past by, with Garfield struggling to not think about anything, only to end up thinking the most random thoughts ever. "Okay, you can stop now." Raven said, without so much as opening her eyes.

"What?"

"You can stop now; when you first start meditation, it should be for a very short period of time, such as five to fifteen minutes. I can meditate for hours, but I'm an expert at it. You cannot climb Mount Everest in one day, you need to work slowly." She said as he got out of the lotus position and took a comfortable spot on bed, lounging about and watching her float above him.

"Climb? Why would I climb when I can just morph into a bird and fly up…..ohhhhhhhh, I get it." He said, realizing that she didn't literally mean for him to climb a mountain. "So, I should take it slowly?"

"It's best if you do; you don't want to fall asleep while you're meditating, which can happen to a beginner."

"So…," He said, crossing his arms as he noticed that she was still meditating. "This is one of those nights you're going to meditate for an hour or so and by the time you're done, I'll be asleep? And I finished my book and can't join you. So, what am I going to do?"

"Watch me like I'm a piece of tofu," She then turned her head around and stared at him. "Like you always do." She turned back around. "I don't even know why you ask anymore."

"And I thought you were a telepath?" He said, smirking. "I just like to ask rhetorical questions."

"No; you like to annoy me."

"But doesn't that just make me so irresistible?"

She allowed a long silence to fall between them before she replied, "Was that a rhetorical question as well?" He smiled at her insult and continued to enjoy the view from his spot.

She looked so peaceful, so calm, as if nothing was even going on in her life. Everything was against her: her emotions, her daughter having meltdowns, her realization that her father's memory still haunted her, her concern for her husband's health, and yet she was able to get away from all that anytime she sat in her lotus position, said her mantra, and relaxed.

She inhaled once again and said her mantra as Garfield watched her quietly from his spot, becoming drowsy as he did so. As he slowly closed his eyes, while lounging with him supporting his head on his hand, Rae, slowly turned her head and looked over. After a few minutes went by, his eyes were shut and she stopped her mantra.

"Are you asleep?"

"No, what would make you think…..I'm…..asleep…." He said as he started to breathe heavily, trying to have fun with her.

"I'm serious." She said as she floated down on the bed and crawled towards the spot next to him. He opened his eyes and saw hers staring back.

"Okay. No, I'm not asleep." He said as she made herself comfortable close to him.

"I want to know how Lydia is doing." He smirked.

"You know how she is doing. It's not like you work a nine hour shift every day. You're home a lot." He said as she looked away from him for a second before looking back at him.

"No, I know. But I want to know how she is _really_ doing. It's not much of a secret that she's Daddy's little girl. You say she learns something every day, but I want to know how she is adjusting."

"Adjusting to what?" He asked, a little confused.

"Adjusting to being _my_ daughter." She said. He understood her and put on a grim look.

"Rae…" He began, about to give a long lecture to her on about how she shouldn't worry about those kinds of things.

"Garfield….I'm serious. I'm not putting myself on a guilt trip, but you know more then I how well she adjusts to her ever increasing powers. Remember her melt down months ago? I'm asking because you don't tell me at the end of some days." She asked, with him nodding. "So?"

"She does very well under stress, as well as when she is happy and laughing." He said loudly before he lowered his voice down a bit to tell her the bit of news he was afraid to tell. "She has—now, don't go crazy—but she has broken more objects around the Tower, which I have cleaned up before anybody notices."

"That's to be expected." She said as he sighed in relief.

"Okay," He said cautiously. "Um…..she had a really bad meltdown a week ago, which I have been trying to cover up. But it had nothing to do with her being worried about her powers, so I didn't think I should bring it up. About a month ago, Bruce was—"

"—Bruce!" She interrupted him. "I don't want her to hurt anybody. Why didn't you tell me about Bruce—"

"—Rae, you misunderstand. I was starting off with Bruce had an ear infection, so Starfire had to take _him_ to the _doctor_, which _then_ cause Lydia to become upset and destroy something." He said, with her sighing with relief as he gripped her hand. "Rae, you have got to calm down. If she went as far as to hurt someone, I would tell you, but I haven't told you these things because I think it will upset you so. You talk about _you_ worried about _me_ with my heart attack and all, but don't forget about _you_. I worry about you." He gently rubbed her hand as she looked into his eyes before she lied down and rested her head next to his chest. He put his other arm around her as he continued to rub her hand.

"I just want her to have a normal childhood. A normal one. Not the one I had. If I can give her that, then I have done my part as a parent and I wouldn't feel as guilty every time I tell her to hold back her tears." She said in her monotone, but he could hear the pain in her voice.

"Don't worry about giving her a normal childhood; just keep your focus on her." He said, before adding, "This might be a good time for another session."

"Tomorrow. Right now I'm tired."

"Promise?" He asked in an accusing way as if she wasn't serious.

"Promise." She said to him reassuringly, looking deeply into his eyes. He kissed her chakra before they both drowsed off to sleep.

I'LL GIVE IT TO YA STRAIGHT…..TWO WEEKS….OR THREE….OR FOUR….IS WHEN I PROBABLY COULD UPDATE. UNTIL THEN, SEE YA…..


	30. What Kind of New Hell is This?

OKAY, I STILL HAVE A FEW TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE AND SOME IDEAS. BUT BEFORE THE THOSE IDEAS, I HAVE TO GET THE DARK STUFF OUT OF THE WAY.

The next day Bruce and Lydia were playing outside, on the sandy part of the island. It wasn't exactly the beach, but it was close enough for the two small Titans. Lydia had a one piece purple swimsuit, completed with a small white, cat-eye sunglasses. Garfield wore his casual wear of a simple T-shirt and sweat pants along with Starfire's usual overly exposed uniform.

Starfire was slowly introducing Bruce to the ocean, who was only wearing a diaper, as the gentle waves came up splashing his feet, with his black hair dangling in the wind. Garfield had watched Lydia build a sand castle for an hour, with a huge sun umbrella under them, as Lydia was too pale for her own good and could easily get burned, before he saw Raven fly over to him, as she was coming back from the city.

"So, crime finally took a nap today? Because you're home early." He told her as she tried to make her way to him in the shallow sand.

"It was a very slow day for crime, after the first few car thefts we dealt with, we ended up just walking around, patrolling the city, before Robin sent me home." She said, not wanting to sit down in the sand. Starfire turned her head towards them, as the mere mention of her husband became an interesting subject.

"Is Robin coming home soon as well?" Starfire asked.

"He didn't say; I think he is working on one of his high profile cases, as he seemed distracted when he was talking to us. His communicator is on; you can ask him." Raven stated.

"No, no, that's fine. I don't want to bother him while he is working." She said as she turned her attention to Bruce who was taking a cautious step near the water's edge. He giggled as a small wave went through his feet, becoming fascinated by the salty water.

"Now don't say that Star; remember what I told ya?" Garfield asked her, chiming into the conversation. "_We _are entitled to an explanation when our partner doesn't come home when they should. After all, they have a child at home. Rae didn't have any crime to fight and Cy's probably the one out shopping for groceries, so she came home; if Robin wants to screw around in Jump City, just to make his day last longer, and he's not going to get anything, call him on it. Don't think it is alright with him using his job as an excuse to get away from the Tower."

"But I don't want to seem like I am prying."

"Hey, Robin has changed within the past few months, but I still see snippets of him trying to give you all the responsibilities, and not doing any for himself."

"Oh, he's not _that_ bad, not like before. He is _much_ better now."

Raven raised her eyebrow. "So, what, you're two are in an alliance now?"

Starfire giggled and blushed. "Yes, friend Beast Boy says, what was it—'a desperate housewives pact' was it? Yes, and we promised to support each other when Robin or you—not that _you_ would ever do anything awful friend Raven—but that _we_ would make sure the other parents are still part of their children's lives—"

"—Uh, Starfire, stop talking." He casually interrupted as he saw Raven crossed her arms with her stoic expression. "Uh, (_Laughing uncomfortably_) it's nothing, we just watched too much—"

"—daytime television." Raven finished for him. "I can see that; it's too late to save yourself, but don't let Starfire waste away her days with that soap opera nonsense."

"Hey, don't swear off the black box! It can hear you!" He shouted out to her in more of a jokingly manner. She rolled her eyes.

"What's the 'black'—" Starfire asked, but stopped after she realized what they were talking about.

Raven didn't say anything else to him, which cause him to smile and declare himself the victor of the battle. She just looked down at Lydia, who was making a badly constructed sand castle. She kneeled down to her and carefully helped Lydia to put clumps of sand on her castle. Lydia notices this and just sculpted the clumps of sand into her fortress.

Lydia had been noticing a lot lately that her mother was taking an interest in her activities and sometimes tried to play with her. She didn't know why that was; it just seemed to happen overnight. Usually, when her mother would play with her, it was more of a bargaining offer, meaning that Raven would play with her _if_ Lydia would then do two hours of meditation that day. But that wasn't the case nowadays.

Her mother was acting like her father, and it was strange. It was weird. It was…..nice. It was comforting.

But despite this new change in her mother, Lydia thought that it was only temporary, because that is what she was used too. Sometimes her mother would act all motherly one week, and then change back to her normal self the next. However, this particular change had lasted a few months now, but Lydia knew that sooner or later her mother would go back to being an emotionless teacher, who only wanted Lydia to meditate and to learn her school lessons.

She would always change back. Why should this time be any different?

"Lydia," Raven said, with Lydia looking up. Okay, here it comes. Her mother was going to ask her to meditate tonight even though she had meditated in the morning. She just knew it, otherwise why would her mother call her name. Raven gave a small smile before saying, "You look cute today…..in your sunglasses and swimsuit."

Lydia blushed from the unexpected compliment, and Garfield saw that she was becoming bashful all of a sudden.

"Why are you being shy? You say 'thank you' when Mama gives you a compliment." He said.

"Thank you." She said in a whisper, looking back down at her castle and putting more sand on the castle.

"I swear I said that she looked like a high profile movie star and she just smiled and giggled at that." He said, looking at Raven, as he was trying to break the tension between the two. "She's probably tired from a long day. It's probably about time for a nap."

Lydia looked up to Garfield. "No. No…I don't need's a nap." She complained as Garfield chuckled at her adding an extra 's' after 'need'. For the past few months, she had lost some of her teeth and while the new ones were starting to grow in, sometimes she would add that unneeded 's' in the end of her sentences.

"I think you do need a nap." Raven told Garfield, looking deeply into his eyes. This implied to him that she wanted to do her session at the current moment, since her afternoon was cleared up. He understood what she meant as they glared at each other.

"Lydia, you need a nap." He said without taking his eyes off Raven.

"Daddy, no! I don't need's a nap!" She complained again, thinking that her father was under some sort of spell cast by her mother. She wouldn't be _that_ far from the truth, though.

"Don't argue. You need a nap, because _I_ need a nap, so that would mean—"

"—Pardon my intrusion," Starfire said. "But I could look after Lydia while you two take a nap."

"But Star, I don't want to trouble you, not when Robin—"

"—I am fine, Beast Boy." She interrupted, worried that the little ones were paying too much attention to their conversation. They weren't, but she was still worried. "I can look after Lydia."

"Aunt Stary's here." Lydia told Garfield, trying to get out of her nap.

He wanted to argue with her, but Raven quietly sighed and nodded her head, indicating to him to let Lydia have her way and skipped her nap for the time being.

"Fine." Garfield said, surrendering his best judgment in order to appease his daughter.

"Thank you." Lydia said in a rehearsed manner, as she went back to sculpting her castle.

"But if you get grouchy, you're going to have a nap every day until you're twenty." He said as he sat up from his chair and walked along with Raven. Lydia was already back to her sand castle, not even aware that he had spoken any more. "Do I make myself clear? Lydia?"

"Fine." Lydia half-heartily said, not even looking at him, as she was concentrating on her sand castle rather than listening to her father.

"You may think I'm joking, but I know how you are if you get moody. I don't want you to think this is a regular thing, that you could skip your naps when you need them. Okay?"

"Fine." She said again half-heartily.

Garfield wanted to say more on the matter, but he gave up and just started making his way to the entrance. Raven stood there, watching her defeated husband about to walk back to the Tower, before she grabbed his hand and pulled him back.

She darted her eyes back to her daughter. "Lydia." She said in her biting tone, which forced Lydia to look up. "You're father's talking to you, do not be rude and ignore him."

"I was listening's…" Lydia said.

"Okay, what did he say?" Raven asked, as Garfield stood beside her, smiling at his grey counterpart disciplining their daughter in a reasonable way. Maybe having a tough parent wasn't _so_ bad in the family.

"Um…he said not to….get grouchy later…or I will have nap's for life?" She asked, not exactly sure if she was right even though she was.

"Close enough." Raven said. "Now, apologized to your father for not giving him your full attention."

"But-but I remembered what he said's…"

"Doesn't matter. If you had looked up at him, listened to him, and said 'yes, Daddy', you would have not come off as rude. But you didn't, and now you hurt Daddy's feelings. Apologized." Raven said, crossing her arms.

"But-but-but I didn't mean it…."

"I know you didn't mean it, but you did it anyway. And the only way we can learn from our mistakes is to…..what?" Raven asked her.

"To apologize for our mistakes and make amends." Lydia finished for her, before she looked at Garfield. "I'm sorry, Daddy. I won't get grouchy. I promise."

"It's okay." He said, smiling at her, before he followed Raven to the entrance of the Tower.

* * *

The rest of the way to their room, Garfield had morphed into a small garden snake, just so he could climb up on her leg, crawl around her waist, and rest on her shoulders, as she tried to ignore his animal form.

"So, what? When I disciple our child, it becomes irresistible for you to touch me every second of the day?" She asked the muted snake. He merely spat out his touch and brushed it against her neck. "I'm guessing that's a 'yes'."

She had walked into their room and put his snake form on the bed, before she went to put on her candles. He morphed back into his self and sat in a seductive pose, having his one hand resting on the back of his head, with his other hand on his hip, while he had one leg sitting up.

"Is _that_ all you think about?" She asked while lighting a candle.

"I'm a guy, aren't I?" He said, giving her one of his mischievous smiles.

"Well, some guys aren't even into women, so…"

"Okay, okay, Rae, now you're destroying the mood when you mention that kind of stuff."

"Good. I'm _trying_ to destroy the mood, because we are _just_ having a session, are we not?" She asked, as she made her way to the bed.

"Well, yes, but it is always fun to make you blushed when you're caught off guard." He said, sitting back up and preparing to get into the cross-leg position. "I mean, we talk about some pretty _dark_ stuff. I just like to lighten up the mood."

"Okay," She said, getting into her own position, sitting opposite of him and grabbing his hands. "I guess I can accept that."

"Plus, you were just really sexy when you were disciplining Lydia like that."

"Okay, now you crossed a line."

"No, what I mean is that—you saw that she was taking advantage of me, and you stopped that. I appreciate it, Rae." He said, both of them looking deeply into each other's eyes. "Really, Rae. Sometimes I don't have the nerve to discipline her if it has something to do with me, because, I mean, I still _am_ young, I'm not going to deny that part about me. That's why I need you sometimes in her life. It's why I agreed to Starfire's pact when she mentioned her own troubles with Robin. We only mean well."

She blushed and looked down, before looking back up. "I guess you did make me blush after all." He smiled as he looked down at her hand. She didn't want to ruin the moment, but she wanted to get their session over with for the day. "Okay, now, where did we leave off?"

"Your father: he was appearing in your dreams and you were trying to remember how the dreams went." He said sadly, with his smile fading. "Remember, I stopped it early before because I wasn't prepared to listen to the dreams, but now I am."

She closed her eyes and gripped his hands tighter. "Are you sure?"

"Yes; I am ready. So, what did the sick bastard make you dream?" He asked, preparing for the worst.

"It's hard to say. I know the nightmares I had when I was fifteen and sixteen were all Trigon, but I don't know about the few that were before."

"Well, were they nightmares?" She paused.

"Yes." She finally said.

"Well, then _I_ say it was Trigon. Go ahead; give me your worst nightmare."

"Well, I can't really remember the small details, but I can remember what happened in them. Only the one's I had when I was fifteen." She said, gripping his hands tighter as she exhaled heavily. There were a few books in the room that lifted up in the air and flew in a slow circle around them. "I'm in a room; I have no idea why I am in that room, I'm just trapped in it. There's fire everywhere, and I am suffocating from the smoke. In the distance I can see his eyes…I'm just sitting there, trying to look for a way out, but his eyes cause me to look away, which prevents me from escaping…..and…..and that's usually when I wake up."

"Okay." He said, exhaling deeply, as he was expecting something worse and was somewhat relieved. "Now…..this was at the time he was trying to disrupt you're sleeping, making you weak?"

"Yes." She whispered, as she remembered all those sleepless nights she had experienced back then. "Yes and it worked. I could have hid my emotions better if I had some sleep, or some time to meditate. I could have—"

"Now, don't go blaming yourself. There wasn't anything you could have done. You tried everything. And at the time you thought not telling us would protect us, or protect yourself from our judgment. So, you felt alone already." He said, looking at her closed eyes. "You even tried to ask your mother for help and she….she couldn't…"

She started to inhale deeply as the objects in the air began to spin a little faster.

"That's good." He said, allowing her to take as much time as she needed. He looked up at the objects in the air, admiring her cool composure she had at the moment. He allowed a few minutes to past by before he hesitantly asked, "…..were….were there any dreams about him and….." As he didn't really want to know the answer, but figured he should know it anyway. "About him…being _close_…..to you?"

She released her hands from his and put her hand over her eyes, trying to hide her eyes from the world just in case she developed tears in the process. After a few seconds went by, she lowered her head slightly and rubbed her fingers on her temple.

"Rae…" He said softly as he petted her head. He had managed to grab one of her hands and gently rubbed it, while he waited for her to settle down. She wasn't crying, but she was acting like she was, and that scared him. "Rae….whatever happened…in the dream…."

"I….I…..can't remember…" She said hesitantly. He could see she was holding back her tears. "That's the thing…I know there was a dream….but I forget what it was about…..but I know I had one….."

He didn't know what to say, and just continued to rub her hand as he gave her time to collect herself. A minute went by, and all she could do was helplessly looked up to him. It was one of those times where she was asking him to take charge and she wasn't apologetic about it.

"Well, that's a good thing." He finally said, trying to lighten up the mood. "If you remember it, it would just haunt you even more. It's better if it's a loss void that you can't remember…When you do remember it, though, that is when you should talk about it."

"Yes, you're right." She said, sitting back up and letting him grip her other hand. "I just miss the days where we didn't talk about this and we made fun of your taste in literature and movie's or my choice of clothing."

"We can still do that kind of stuff. I mean, it's going to take awhile to get back to that place, but remember when you confessed to me about Malchior? Huh?" He asked, as she sighed heavily. "Don't you remember that _feeling_ you had when we were _finally_ done talking about Malchior? Remember our last session about Malchior?"

She looked down at the side of her hip and tried to hide her small smile. But Garfield saw it, and took this opportunity to gently grab her chin with his fingers, inching his head closer to hers. She was still looking down, but did lift her head slightly up, so he could see her smile.

"I thanked you…." She said, before looking into his green eyes. He started to inch his head ever so closer to hers. "With a kiss, on my part."

"And I was totally cool with it." He said, as he grazed his nose on hers, before his lips were millimeters away from hers.

"Yeah, you would be." She said before she allowed him to part her lips and pressed against his. She closed her eyes, as Garfield wrapped his hands around her head, so he could better controlled the kiss. However, it only lasted for a few more blissful seconds before they separated.

He put his forehead against her cold chakra, as they were both trying to catch their breath. Her eyes were still closed, but she tried to find his hands that were lying on the bed. She found them, and clutched them tightly, as if her life depended on it. A kiss didn't require as much physical activity as they had made it appear from their breathing, but it had been a while since they had a genuine kiss. And Garfield was a romantic, so if he was going to do something with Raven that wasn't done in a long time, he sure wasn't going to half-ass his way through it.

"It's going….to get better, I promise….." He said between his pauses to catch his breath. Now, he was just being dramatic about the kiss knocking the life out of him. "I have noticed that you have been acting different….not in a bad way…in a good way, and I think it's these sessions…..don't you?"

"I think so too, but," She said. "Sometimes, it just hard to relive the past. I rather focus on the present and the future." He held her shoulders tightly.

"We will, we will. But if something in your past is preventing you from enjoying the present and the future, then that is when you should look back." He said. "Anytime you look at Lydia, you sometimes look happy. But sometimes, you don't look happy. You're afraid he will come back, in some form, in some way, and haunt not only you, but our daughter too."

"I have always said that Trigon did have other children besides me." She said as she looked into his eyes. "What if—"

"—Rae, Rae, now you're just working yourself up." She took a moment before she exhaled heavily once more, and went back to her cross-legged position, holding his hand tightly with hers. "Okay. Let's try this again. From the beginning." He said, hopeful that their twenty-first session would be the best yet.

"My mother, Arella, was raped when she was a young lady, by a Demonic being named Trigon. Nine months later, I was born…." She started with her well rehearsed story.

Their sessions more or less involved Raven repeating her twisted story over and over again to Garfield, until it didn't hurt her anymore to say the things she said.

But it did hurt, and he knew it too. However, at one time she thought she couldn't trust people again after Malchior, but she did. And Garfield was the one that helped her get through that time.

* * *

It seemed overnight now that Bruce had started to walk and talk. He was the pride and joy of Starfire and Robin. So much so, that it seemed whenever someone would start a conversation with either said parent, that said parent would start to talk about Bruce and what he was up to these days. Even if they were talking about sports or crime, the topic would always come back to Bruce.

A few months went by, and Garfield's health seemed to slowly get better. He stray a little from his strict diet, but Raven still made sure he went on his daily walks around the Tower's perimeter. Starfire and Robin would fight on and off for days at a time, each of them challenging each other's parenting skills, and who was right at the end of the day: the Earth way or the Tamaranean way. Cyborg was dating one of the local's in the city, which made Jinx sent him daily viruses to his computers. She knew he was only dating a local to make her jealous….and it was working.

The sessions with Garfield was starting to make Raven relived her old nightmares. It seemed like night after night, Rae would wake up from a hellish dream. And Garfield was beside her the whole time, trying to decode the dream's meaning when she was calm enough to talk about it. He thought this was a good sign, because he thought that they were getting to the root of her dark problems when they dissect her dreams, but she did not see it that way.

Every time she closed her eyes, she was afraid of what she would see, of what she would dream. Every time she woke up, whether it was in the middle of the night or early in the morning, he was right next to her, asking her what she had dreamt.

She started to feel like this helpless damsel in distress, with Garfield always coming in and 'saving the day', when he would wrap his arms around her and comfort her as if she was a child instead of a grown adult. Even if she didn't have any nightmares, she managed to feel helpless still.

"Rae, I know you're a woman, and I am a man, but that doesn't mean I'm _rescuing_ you _because_ I am the man. I love you, and I'm trying to help you. You don't have to feel vulnerable." He told her one day as they were just waking up in the middle of the night from another nightmare. Raven felt compelled to express her concern about always feeling like this damsel in distress after a nightmare.

"I know. Logically, I know. But these nightmares are making me feel anxious to even go to sleep. And you shouldn't have the sole responsibility to make sure I am okay." She said, as she drew her knees closer to her, in her navy blue, short-sleeve shirt with shorts for pajamas. Her hair was a mess, and her skin was covered in cold sweat. Even after changing her normal pajamas to something a little more revealing, she was still sweating in the middle of the night, with her heart pounding a mile a minute.

He hugged his arms around tightly on her shoulders, and put his head down on top of her shoulder. He gently kissed her neck before he whispered in her ear, "I married you for a reason; so that all your problems could be mine, and vice versa. We worked on me, remember? Heart attack and all? Now, it's your turn. Please, Rae, don't block me off now." He held her closer to him as she stared off into the distance.

"Should we even continue these sessions? I really don't like remembering this stuff."

"I know, but it's healthy, in more ways then you know." He said. She signed and wiggled her way out his grip, standing up to go to the bathroom. He followed her, as she turned on the facet and splashed some water on her face. "Do…..do you want to talk about the dream?"

She looked into the mirror, seeing the dark circles under her eyes, and found a grey hair among her lavender locks. "It was just an old nightmare. That is all." She said, trying to hide the grey hair back in her head.

"Come on, Rae. If you are having them now, it means something, and I want to know what it means. You're obviously troubled by something in your dreams. Don't try to hide it. Come on, Rae, let's go back to bed." She was now going through the medicine cabinet, trying to find something, anything, to block the dreams from her mind. What she was looking for? Who knows. "Rae?"

His animal instincts kicked in when she closed the mirror's door, as she stared at it with her piercing eyes. She looked at herself for a moment before she raised one of her fists, and he quickly grabbed her arms.

"Raven!" He shouted while he wrestled her arms to stay still. At first she turned around and glared at him in anger, because she just wanted to smash something on her own, instead of her powers destroying it for her. But after a few moments, she softened her expression and collapsed her head on his shoulder. "Shh, shh, it's okay, Rae." He said as he let go of her arms and hugged her, as they both collapsed to the floor. He petted her head as she held on tightly to him, sniffling as she tried to hold back her tears. She held onto him for dear life as she turned her head to the side.

"It's-it's….just these dreams…..I'm tired of these nightmares…"

"I know, I know…shh, shh…" He said, soothing her to a calm state. They were somehow safe in the confines of their bathroom, while their room next door was being demolished with Rae's powers. He gently closed the door with his foot, so she wouldn't hear how much destruction she made. Maybe she was focusing her energy on their room, so they could be safe in the small bathroom? It was possible, but he didn't want to question it.

"I remembered it…" She said softly.

"Remembered what?" He asked as she reached for his hand.

"The bad dream…with Trigon…" Her voice started to whimper as she tried to finish her sentence. "…..and how he _forced_…..himself on me….." She whispered as she lifted her head up and looked into his eyes, trying to find comfort in his green iris.

He exhaled deeply. "Okay." He said as he reached for her other hand and held it firmly. Their breathing became in sync. It was a while before she closed her eyes and sat up straight to keep her breathing smooth.

"It begins in my room….it's on fire, as usual." She said softly. He continued to "And I am suffocating from the smoke….and…..and….in the distance I can see his eyes…..Again, as usual. I decide to look for a way out….but his eyes cause me to stay there, on my bed….."

She gulped as he held onto her hands tighter. "I'm here, Rae, I'm here…"

"At first I think I will wake up…..if I am aware that it is a dream…..but then…..but then…his eyes grow bigger in the distance and then he comes out from the darkness…out from the darkness…"

"It's okay, Rae, it's okay. Let it out."

"….He came out in his human form…"

"Human form?"

"Yes…_human_ form….with only a loincloth covering himself….." She took a moment to pause as she sniffled a bit before she tried to continue. "I try to run away, but-but he uses his powers to pin me down on my bed….my-my arms and-and legs are trapped in his black en-energy….."

"It's okay….it's okay…" She was shaking and he so he wrapped his arms around her and allowed her head to rest on his chest. He rocked her back and forth while he stroked her back. "Okay...it's okay…"

"My-my leotard….my leotard starts to rip at its seams….my-my hair gr-grows longer…I'm struggling to free myself…_desperately_….I-I-I-I _try_ to escape…"

"I'm-I'm here, Rae….." He said as his own voice was breaking. He couldn't keep his composure the more she told him her dream.

He didn't just hold onto her for her own sake, but held on her for his. He didn't want to listen to anymore and she didn't want to talk about it as well, but they both knew it was for the best, to get the past out of the way. They did it together before with Malchior, and had a few sessions about Terra before Raven realized that she couldn't talk about that woman without insulting Garfield as well.

Now, they were on the verge of getting rid of Trigon's memories, and he couldn't help, but get just as upset as she was, because she could have been Trigon's so _easily_. She held onto him tighter.

"…..he walks towards me. And then all I remember is his glowing eyes…as….as…..as…." Her face cringed as she imaged the nightmare in her head. Garfield began stroking her back as he allowed his tears to fall, leaving a water line on his face. His crying somehow comforted her a bit, as she was reminded that she wasn't the only one who was haunted by these memories.

"What-what happened? I need to-to know." He asked her in desperation. Something pounded on the bathroom door, but they both ignored it. They could only image what kind of damage was taking place. As much as he wanted to protect Raven, he couldn't protect her from her memories. The only way he thought that he could completely protect her from her past was just by knowing exactly what it was. "Come-come on Rae…I _need_ to-to _know_…..I know it's hard to remember...but...I _need_ to _know_..."

"I-I know it was a dream…..but-but it _felt_ so real—" She whispered, trying to calm her breathing down.

"—Oh God—" He cried in horror.

"—It felt _too_ real…..it felt like-like-like a _drill_…..forcing it's way _into_ me…" The mirror on the medicine cabinet cracked, but didn't shatter just yet. The shower facet and the sink turned on by itself and both were set to hot water, which then slowing started to steam the room. "…I-I-I screamed in pain…and then…..and then…..he-he _made_ me….."

"Let me guess…..he-he made you…..looked into his eyes?" He asked, as he wiped his nose on his shirt. He used some other part of his shirt to wipe her very visible tears as she looked up at him.

"_Yes_…how-how did you know?" She asked as she blew her nose on his shirt when he was done wiping her tears.

"It just….it just seems like something Trigon would make you do….look into his eyes….and then you woke up?"

"Yes…..yes…..yes…." She repeated as she tried to stop her sniffling. It was over. It wasn't a very long dream, but it was enough to drain the energy out of her. She was able to repress the dream for so long, but these new sessions had slowly brought it back.

"How many times...did he make you dream _that_…..?" He asked as he grabbed her shaking hands, trying to hide his own tears as he wanted to appear the stronger one. She looked up at him, and she could see he was just as much of a mess as she was.

"I-I can't remember…but-but enough to remember _that_ much….."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, as she rested her face under his neck. There was a loud bang in the next room before there was silence. The only sound they could hear was their breathing, besides the occasional sound of their sniffling. The mirror finally shattered and fell on the floor, but they both didn't have pay attention to it.

"It's-it's over now….." He said as he once again wiped his nose on his raggedy T-shirt.

* * *

"How many pancakes do you guys want?" Cyborg asked the others who were all watching T.V. as they watched the morning cartoons for the little ones. It was the next day, early in the morning, and he was trying to arrange breakfast for everybody.

"Just make two for each of us." Robin said as he was tickling young Bruce while Starfire was braiding Lydia's hair.

"I want six pieces!" Lydia shouted to Cyborg.

"I don't know if you father will allow you to eat that much." Robin told Lydia.

"He said if I can't finish it, then he would." She said, giving her Uncle a mischievous smile.

"Speaking of which, when are they coming out?" Cyborg asked. "Are they going to be late for breakfast, or what? Because I gotta make breakfast and I don't want them to complain I didn't make any breakfast for them."

"Uh…..I don't think so. Daddy said Mama was sick and so Aunt Stary can watch me for the day. He says he's gonna take care of her, and I can't go in because I would get sick." She said.

"I hope it isn't anything serious." Starfire said as she turned her head to Robin. He nodded and stood up.

"Right. I'll go check up on them." He said as he gently placed Bruce on the floor where his toys were. Robin walked out to the hallway and made his way to the Logan's room.

* * *

A tired Garfield could heard loud knocking on the door in his room. "What the fuck, it's only nine o'clock. _(Knocking on door)_ Coming! I'm a grown man, I can sleep if I want." He mumbled to himself as he made his way to the door. He slid a quarter of the way out, just the way Raven used to open it back when she was a teen. "Yes?" He asked, as he rubbed his eyes.

"Are you guys alright? Lydia said that Raven had a cold and I—"

"Yes, we're fine. We didn't get any sleep last night, and Rae hasn't had much sleep all of this week. So, we're just sleeping in for the day. We'll be fine tomorrow. We also didn't want Lydia to follow our lead and sleep with us, because she needs to do her school work, so I just said Rae was sick. That's all." Garfield said, trying to block Robin's view of their room.

Robin raised his eyebrow. "Are you sure you're alright? I mean, what has caused you guys to—"

"—Look, we're fine. We're tired. Rae's taking a day off from crime and I'm helping her. We'll make our own dinner. We just ask that you have Starfire watch Lydia and make her go over Lydia's schooling." Garfield said, inching to close the door just a little more.

"Okay then, but—"

"—Thanks. Bye." Garfield said as he shut the door. "Jeeze, sometimes Robin asks too much questions. He can be a real pain sometimes."

"I can still hear you, Beast Boy." Robin said through the door. "I'll just be going now, but I'll be a 'real pain' later though."

"Oh." Garfield said as he blushed, realizing that his leader was still listening. He looked around their room, looking at the mess that was made the previous night.

Book shelves were knocked over, with all their books, toys, stuffed animals, albums, and papers littering the floor. Clothes were taken out of their drawers and thrown across the room. The blue walls had bits of scratches on it, and their curtains were ripped apart, which allowed the sun to shine into their room. The only thing that was put together was their bed, as it was the only thing they could repair the previous night. Lying there was his grey counterpart, looking out the window as he walked over to her.

"There's too much light in here." She said as he kneeled down to her. She used her black energy to repair the seams of the curtain and to hang it up properly on the brass bar resting above the window. Darkness quickly filled the room. "That's better." She said as she made herself a little more comfortable in their bed.

He morphed into his cat form and jumped on the bed, resting on the other side of the her. He then morphed back into his human form, crawled into the blankets, and bundled his arms around her waist.

"Is that better too?" He asked her as she became more comfortable in his arms. "I mean, your powers can't fix everything."

"I'm still afraid to go to sleep." She said, turning her head and looking up to him. He could see the dark circles around her eyes.

"I know, but when you do dream something dark, at least I'm here for you….and I know what to expect." He said, caressing her hand for comfort. She gave him a small smile, lifted up her head, and gave him a small peck on his lips. She then pressed her forehead against his as she closed her eyes. A moment or two passed by before she rested her head on his chest as he embraced her.

They were able to sleep throughout most of the day, only waking up occasionally to get some water or go to the bathroom. And while Robin was a little suspicious of their story—or rather at Garfield's story—he didn't interrupt their nap. Garfield was thankful for that much.

EDITING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE, SO….SEE YA…


	31. It's Over or Is It?

IT MAY BE SHORT, BUT DON'T LET THE LENGTH FOOL YOU.

It was over.

Like Garfield had said before, it was over. All over, and they could go back to living their lives' tomorrow. But tomorrow was another day. Of course it was never going to be _completely_ normal; they both knew that, but at least they were both sleeping again.

Memories of Trigon didn't plague her mind anymore, she was more than willing now to show more affection to her only child, and she would on occasion, laugh out loud at Garfield's jokes. Only on occasion though. She was somewhat a new woman, but she knew it wouldn't last, just like after Malchior, she would go back to her normal stoic self. She wasn't being cruel; it just wasn't her nature to be this open to the world. And when she was open, she would soon enough close herself off, but just a _little_ at a time. After all, she had a reputation to keep for being the 'quiet' one.

But for now, she was actually okay laughing out loud when her teams were around. At least for now.

Garfield, knowing her high mood wasn't going to last long, took advantage of the opportunity and had Raven try a new bedtime routine with Lydia. Since sometimes Rae would be late if she was fighting a villain that day, he had decided that he would tuck Lydia in, and then allow her to stay up until her mother tucked her in. Then, when Rae tucked her in, she would have some quiet time with Lydia without having to meditate together.

At first it seemed awkward to have two people, who were usually quiet around each other, to all of sudden start conversations as if they had anything to talk about that didn't revolve around meditation. But soon enough they would find a mutual topic to talk about and the awkwardness started to fade between them. After a couple of weeks, Raven started to read her bed time stories from both Earth and Azarath books. But she would, of course, change the ending if she didn't like what it taught her daughter. The princesses would only get married at the end if Raven thought they deserved it, because otherwise it sounded like, 'And they never met, but he saved her and so they got married.' And she didn't find that s reasonable ground to marry someone.

Another routine Garfield had Raven do was to kiss Lydia goodbye if she went on a really dangerous mission, because it might be the last time Lydia would see her mother again. While yes, they seemed like they couldn't do any wrong, and while sometimes they would boast about leaving a battle without a scar, at the end of the day they both knew what kind of job they had. It was dangerous work, and they were risking their lives just as much as any normal cop or firefighter.

In fact, they lived in a tower, which was just a giant, red, target painted on their foreheads for criminals. But of course, they were the titans; they couldn't do any wrong.

Despite the fact that it was only months ago he had his heart attack, she still pretended like he had a week ago. She would make sure he went on his walks, and that he didn't stress out on the little things.

"You still don't need to worry about me, I'm fine." He said while she was walking with him around the outside of the Tower on a quiet Saturday evening. They were both looking at the different plants the Tower was growing around its island.

"I know." She said. "But it's nice to get out of the Tower, and you should get out of the Tower more often. Are you sure you don't have any kind of anxiety?" She asked as she looked up to him.

He saw that she was trying to hide her smile and keep her emotionless expression, but she was having a hard time around him. "If you want to know the truth, Rae," He said, smirking at her, "After our sessions, I no longer have stress in my life. I am _stress_ free." He said as he waved his arms out to her to be dramatic. She couldn't help, but blushed at his comment.

She turned her head to look at the sun setting. Her hair and cape was getting caught in the wind. He lifted up his eyebrow.

"So, what is going through that mind of yours?" He asked. "You're thinking about something, but you won't tell me."

"I'm just watching the sun set." She said. She looked behind her shoulder back to him. "Nothing unusual about that. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I like asking and you like answering." He said.

They continued to walk around the Tower, with the evening sky to accompany them. After they walked a few more feet, they stumbled upon a small grassy patch that was closer to the Tower then the ocean, with a couple of yellow buttercups growing from it. He plucked one of the buttercups and gently placed it behind Raven's ear. She blushed as he styled her hair so the flower would stay in place.

"Yellow looks good with purple." He simply said, admiring his work.

"So does green." She said softly and this made him blushed. He grabbed her hands and started to hum 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' as he gently swayed her around with his hands. She humored him and danced slowly to the tempo of his humming.

"_(Gasp) _you're so good, where did you learn how to dance?" He teased as he gently twirled her around.

"A boy taught me when my heart was broken." She said as she placed her forehead on his as they continued to sway back and forth.

"A boy? Are you sure it wasn't a _man_?"

"He might have been."

"Might have? I am pretty sure you _told_ him he was a man at a time when he felt like a monster." He said smirking.

"Maybe I did." She said.

"Don't you know that is _the_ sexiest thing a woman can say to a boy? That he's a man?"

"I wasn't a woman; I was still a girl."

"Oh, no. You were a woman." He said, trying to assure her.

"What makes you think I was?"

"I bet you were forced to mature faster than you were supposed to. You were probably the smartest, calmest person in your day."

She blushed. "Maybe."

"Yeah, and sexy too." She gave him a crossed look.

"Yeah, and how do you know what I was like? You weren't there." She said as he looked into her eyes and inched his lips closer to hers.

"I was there, because _I_ was the man who taught you to dance." He said before he parted her lips with hers as they closed their eyes.

As soon as they parted she asked, "And what do you want in return then for teaching me how to dance? And I guess for restoring my broken heart as well?"

"Your mind, your _body _(_Caressing her back_), and your soul." He said before he parted her lips again as she tightly grasped his back. It had been a while since he seduce her, trying to bring out her Lust by himself instead of her saying one day 'let's do this'.

He liked being the romantic.

They broke off from their kiss. "Granted." She said smiling as they both turned to the side to watch the sun disappear from the sky, leaving an orange hue in the air.

* * *

"Good night, Lydia." Raven said, as she had finished tucking her in. She closed the door and as she looked behind her, Garfield came out from the shadows and grabbed her waist. He picked her up bridal style and started walking back to their room.

"Be honest: you weren't surprised at all when I grabbed you?" He asked her. He was kind of out of shape, but he still had enough upper body strength to carry her. Slowly, though.

"Should you be picking me up and carrying me when you just had a heart attack—"

"Oh, that happened a while ago. Forget about that." He said, grunting as he was so closed to their room, and he wanted to appear rather masculine to her if he could carry her all the way there.

"—But—"

"—I'm okay."

* * *

He gently placed her on the bed, and started kissing her neck, as he unraveled her sleeves. As he rolled them down, he pressed his lips against her soft skin, as she began breathing heavily from his touch. She lied down so he could get the leotard off of her. As he pulled off her uniform, he could see her grey silhouette in the candlelight, with the yellow buttercup highlighting her violet hair.

It had been around seven years now since he had first seen her in her birthday suit, but he still had found it fascinating for him each time. He would write poetry about her body, if only he knew _how_ to write poetry.

But there wasn't any time to stop and stare at her, because he wanted her _now_, and his heart was pounding a mile a minute, a small detail he decided to keep quiet, as he raced to the bathroom. After some time in there, he came out, ready to conquer the grey creature lounging on the bed.

He threw his T-shirt on the floor, with his sweat pants still on as he made his way towards her. She sat up on the bed and slid down his pants for him, as they both shared a passionate kiss. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to direct her mouth to move in certain directions. She tossed the pants on the side as she embraced him, allowing his lips to her back on the bed. Her head rested on the pillow as she waited for him to come to her. He lingered above her as he continued to kiss her lips.

They looked into each other's eyes for quite some time before she slowly closed them and started to chant, "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…."

He came closer to her, as he melted into her arms. She wouldn't hug back, she couldn't, as her hands lay by her side, but he imaged her grabbing him tightly as he grabbed onto her tightly. He started moving his body to the rhythm of her chanting; slow, but steady. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to avoid her flower.

Even though his own eyes were closed at times, he would open his eyes occasionally to look down at her, to have a clue how he was doing. Her face was emotionless most of the time; it was only at critical moments when she would either winced or lift up her eyebrow and slightly open her mouth, which indicated to him that he was doing just fine. She wasn't twitching her feet though, but he would have that taken care of soon enough. It was a while before he began to thrust a little faster.

"Azarath…..MENTRION…zinthos…" She chanted, trying to steady her words. Her breathing was becoming irregular and she was starting to lose focus.

She wrapped her arms around him, in order to try and better control the situation. However, this only made him go faster as he mistaking thought that she was ready for a faster routine. She was, but she _still_ wanted it under control.

She dug her nails in his back as he started to gain momentum in their exercise. He opened his eyes again and saw her face was beginning to break out in sweat, her hair becoming frizzy, her face wincing at certain times, she was drooling a little from the chanting, and her perfect little buttercup was sliding up her hair, and losing its pedals. As far as he knew, she looked perfect.

"Aza…..rath…men…trion…ZIN…..thos…" She chanted. He didn't mind the drool on her face and softly kissed the side of her damp neck. She was beginning to move with the rhythm, trying to catch up with him.

Even though he was concentrating on his movements at the current second, he just couldn't help, but savor this very moment of their relationship. He wasn't going to go all Edward Cullen on her and pretend that everything else in his life sucked, he wasn't _that_ much of a pussy; he was just merely proud of himself for being able to not only have her recover from her first boyfriend, but to recover from the memories of her father. To be haunted for so long by these memories, suppressed memories, and all it took was for her to say a few hurtful sentences, find comfort in his arms, and it seemed all of sudden this burden she had been carry for so long wasn't so heavy anymore.

And _he_ did it.

He was the one to get her through it. Not Robin, the boy wonder, who had Batman for a father figure and could understand her frustration with fathers. Not Cyborg, who could relate to her being only half human and only thinking about her other half part. And not Starfire, who knew what it was like to have a dysfunctional family and to come from a foreign place with different customs.

No, it was Garfield, Beast Boy, Challenging, Green Bean, Grass Stain, Green B, Beast Man or BB as he was called, who had the perfect family, but lost them in an accident. It was him that was able to get her to forget about her Demonic father. Everybody else could relate to her, but only _he_ understood her pain.

He asked her the questions everybody else was afraid too or didn't think to ask her. And while it was painful to answer, she loved him even more for it, because when he said her past was now his past in their wedding vows, he _meant_ it. And when it became too painful for both of them to relive, he didn't leave her side the whole time. She destroyed their room multiple times, had to avoid their daughter days at a time, but still, he asked her to finish what they started. How could she _not_ love him more for that?

"Az…..a…..rath…men…..tr…ion…zin-THOS…."

She wanted to open her eyes herself, but couldn't. She just image he was sweating profusely, looking at her, and that was what made him kiss her slippery neck. He would grab her from behind at a funeral, so why wouldn't he kiss her when she looked her most disgusting? But of course, he would comment she was not disgusting, because she was just beaming with ecstasy that he was creating, so she was looking just right for him.

Her body began to respond to his and as he tried to move away, she would only follow him, trying to drag him back down to her. She allowed one of her hands to become loose and fall back on the bed. He felt her hand slip away and so he opened his eyes and held onto her hand before he directed it back to his neck, so she had something to hold onto to.

His hair was becoming greasy and getting caught in his field of vision whenever he opened his eyes. His face had beads of sweat and was slowly dropping down on her neck. It now seemed like they were in a race, as they bodies were trying to outdo each other; Garfield was trying to keep her down as Rae was trying to push him back, so she could be closer.

Their bed was creaking and the blankets and pillows were falling off from the bed just from the violent shaking they were making.

She could feel her buttercup slipping out of her hair and one of the petals was stuck on her cheek. She knew pretty soon that the buttercup would explode into pieces, and as soon as she thought about that, it did. The petals and stem ripped into pieces and sprinkled on their dense bodies. She gripped onto him tighter as he merely tried to brush off the flowery bits off of her face, so she wouldn't sneeze from the pollen. Their breathing and the creaking of the bed was the only sound they could hear.

Her feet started to twitch, and that was his cue to lift slightly up and make room for her as she tried to sit up. She continued to dig her nails deep into his wet back, holding on for dear life while trying to keep the rhythm going at the same time as they both sat up, becoming equals once again.

She lifted her head up to sky as she mumbled her mantra out loud. Although, both their eyes were now shut, he continued to find his way around her body, kissing her neck, shoulders, any part of her arms that he could get a hold of without disrupting their momentum. She could hear her books hitting the walls, even though she didn't hear them come out of their shelves before. She could imagine they started to fly out of their shelves and hit the walls to begin with instead floating above them in the air.

Her head bobbed slightly as her eyes were rolling in the back of her head, before they went back to normal. She left her mouth open as he continued to be grind harder inside of her. His fang was dripping with spit while he tried to make the last few movements he had worth while. She moved her hands up to his hair and pulled on it tightly as he pushed her heads towards him and she moaned as he did so.

"Aza-RATH…..mentrion…..ZINTHOS!" She yelled out as all the drawers in their room burst open. She collapsed on his body, breathing heavily, and he gently laid her down on the bed, pushing her hair back behind her ears as her head rested on the pillow. He gathered up some pillows he found on the floor and lied opposite of her, watching her peacefully.

"Rae…Rae….my….lovely….Rae….." He whispered with his hard breathing, as he ran his fingers across her skin. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at him. She didn't say anything; she couldn't, but he understood her. He held tightly onto her hand as they continued to look at each for quite some time, with their frantic breathing, before they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Several weeks had passed by, and the team had gotten the alert that a criminal was breaking into Jump City government's private laboratory. During the battle, the criminal had sprayed all three Titans with large amounts of chemicals before Robin simply subdued him with his birdarang. Needless to say, he wasn't the smartest criminal ever. However, when they had got home, Cyborg wanted to quarantine Robin and Raven for a while, just so he could run a few test to see if the chemicals did anything to them.

Garfield and Starfire understood that it was just part of the job, and they didn't want their children to be exposed to anything, so they allowed Cyborg to have their partners separated from them for quite some time.

Cyborg's immune system was easily able to defeat the chemicals before it did any damage to him. Robin, however, was prescribed some very strong antibiotics, a few days in the infirmary, before the chemicals were cleaned out of his system and then he was able to go back home to Starfire.

Cyborg had ran at least three test on Raven, and despite the fact that she felt fine, he kept insisting that she stay in the infirmary and run one more test on her before she could go back to her family. This made Garfield anxious, as he was worried that Rae may have caught something from the chemicals. For days, Garfield would talk to Raven through the infirmary door, thinking as if these were her last days on Earth. It wasn't very long she was quarantine from the rest, but it felt like ages for Garfield.

Finally, one day Cyborg came into the infirmary to have one finale meeting with Raven to discuss her health. Garfield was waiting patiently outside, but he couldn't hear a thing because the room was sound proof.

"So, I ran the numbers," Cyborg said, pointing at the computer. She stood from the bed and pretended she understood what any of those numbers meant on the screen, but she didn't have any idea why he was showing her scans when he knew she didn't have any idea what they meant. "And you're pretty much clear. Nothing seems wrong with you."

"Okay, so I can go then?" She asked him, not really understanding why he would have this meeting with her when he could simply say she was fine. She looked at him and he was just smiling. "What?" He was acting strange.

"Rae, did you really think I wouldn't find out?" He asked, as he continued to smirk.

"Find out what?" She asked, sitting back down on the bed.

"Oh, you _know_." He teased, as he raised an eyebrow.

"Know what?" She asked again. He continued to stare at her with his mischievous smile.

"Oh, I don't care if you guys are keeping it a secret. The important thing is that I found out. Don't act all dumb, Rae." She flared her nostrils.

"Cyborg, I'm not in the mood for games. If you don't tell me now, I'll have Garfield put tofu in your food when you're not looking. What is it?" She asked in her harsh tone. He looked at her perplexed and went back to his computer.

"So, you mean to tell me, you have no idea what I am talking about right now when I say 'I know.'?" He asked.

"That's right."

"Maybe you don't know." He said more to himself then to her, lifting his eyebrow. "Okay. I don't know how to tell _you_, if you don't even know."

"Tell me _what_? Cyborg, I don't like reading my friend's minds, but I will if you don't open your mouth soon!" She threatened, holding up her hand with a beam of black energy.

"Well, now I'm in an awkward position." He said to himself. "I thought you and B were keeping it a secret—"

"—What secret!—"

"But I guess I can be the one to tell you guys the exciting news—" He said, with his eyes lighting up.

"—Cyborg, I swear, if you don't tell me—"

"—Okay, I'll tell you, Rae." He said, smiling as he grabbed one of her hands. It took him a while before he could simply pat her hand and smile as he said, "Rae, you and BB are gonna be the proud parents of _two_." She widened her eyes. "Rae, you're pregnant."

DUN, DUN, DUNNNNNN. DON'T YOU JUST HATE CLIFFHANGERS? YEAH, ME TOO. OH WELL. SEE YA GUYS…..


	32. A Choice and the Decision

SKYRIM IS OUT! (NERDGASM)

BUT FIRST, HOMEWORK AND WORK. SKYRIM, _IF_ YOU DON'T KNOW, IS A HIGHLY ANTICIPATED VIDEO GAME I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR. BUT I FEEL I MUST COMPLETE THE LAST GAME, OBLIVION, BEFORE I DIVE RIGHT INTO THIS GAME. I AM ALMOST _COMPLETELY_ DONE WITH THAT GAME, BEING A GOODIE AND ALL IN THE FIRST 20 HOURS, AND THEN I JOINED THE DARK BROTHERHOOD AND NOW I CAN KILL AND KILL AND JUST ASK THE THEVES GUILD TO CLEAR MY BOUNTY IF I GET CAUGHT (BECAUSE I AM THE LEADER OF THE THIEVES, BUT I AM ALSO A THE HEAD MAGE AS WELL). I ALMOST HAVE ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS (THE ACHIEVEMENTS I _KNOW_ I CAN ACHIEVE). ANWAY…..

Raven heard a weird buzzing noise in her head after Cyborg had stopped talking. She didn't quite hear him properly. Well, she _thought_ she didn't hear him properly. She swore there for a second that he said she was _pregnant_, but that couldn't be the case. It just couldn't be, there was no way; no, he must of said something else that sounded like 'pregnant'. Maybe, he said she was _radiant_, like she was radioactive, and she needed to be cleansed from some type of toxic. Yeah, that was it. But why did he say so cheerfully?

"Raven?" He asked her softly, thinking that she was just trying to hide her excitement and so appeared more shocked then cheerful.

She stared blankly at him for quite some time before she asked, "I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you. What did you say?"

"Rae, you're pregnant!" He said a little louder and more excitedly. He was just looking at her with a smile, expecting to have some type of positive response.

She snatched her hand away from his, and was thinking for a second to slap him across the face. But that wouldn't be fair. So, she merely gave him a hostile look. She felt insulted for him to say such a thing and in such a joyful manner as well, as if he was mocking her.

"What?" He asked, confused.

She thought for a second and merely replied, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…"

"Rae?"

"I'm not pregnant, Cyborg." She simply said as if he had just played a prank on her and she was just brushing it off. Yeah, that's what it was, just a prank. "Don't joke like that, it's not funny. Watch out for tofu, because Garfield's going to put it in your food now. May I go?"

"Wait?" He asked her, just now realizing what kind of news he was giving her. Was it good or bad? "You guys weren't trying or anything?—"

"I'm not pregnant—" She merely said. He scoffed and started to get mad at her denying it. This was supposed to be his moment; he was the overlooked second-in-command, never had a steady relationship with any girl he went out with, was the last single man in the house and some of his new girlfriends were _scared_ to get intimate with him because he was half machine. The only thing he had going for him was his niece and nephew. And he would be _damned_ if Raven was going to ruin this moment for him.

"—I thought you would be happy and would be _glad_ that I told you, so you could tell B—"

"—I'm not pregnant—"

"—Rae, I _really_ thought that you two knew and you were playing with me—"

"—I'm not pregnant—" She said a little more biting, becoming annoyed with his interruptions. She didn't want to hear it, because she wasn't pregnant. Case closed.

"—And when you said you didn't know what I was talking about, I thought this could be a _cool_ moment for me as an Uncle to reveal—" He was starting to become frustrated by _her_ interruptions.

"—I'm not pregnant—"

"—And now you're not _even_ happy? What are you talking about 'I'm not pregnant—"

"—I'm not pregnant—" He was getting was getting to her. She lowered her head, covered her ears, and kept shaking her head, as if she shook hard enough, the truth wouldn't be real.

"—Yes, you are. I have charts, I have urine samples, I have scans that say you are—"

"—But I'm not—"

"—You're pregnant!—"

"—No, no—"

"—Well, what do you want me to tell BB when eight months from now you give birth to his child! That weren't pregnant!" He shouted over her, making her silent in his presence.

He then saw the small tears developing in her eyes; she put her hands on her forehead. He saw the silent, scared little Raven he saw long ago when she tried to deny her feelings for Garfield. He also remembered having a similar argument with her back then too, about how Garfield was falling in love with her, and Cyborg could see that she was falling for him too, but she kept denying it, until she broke down. This was just like that all over again, only different.

"Oh, now don't do _that_. I hate getting all mushy." He said, trying to remember what he had back then to get her to stop crying. He looked around the room, making sure the expensive medical equipment was safe.

She drew her knees up to her stomach and swayed herself back and forth. Oh, now Cyborg was feeling guilty for yelling at her earlier. What was he thinking? He shouldn't be yelling at a _pregnant_ woman, even if she was denying it. He pulled up his chair next to her.

"Please, Rae, talk to me. What's going on? Why aren't you happy?" He asked, putting his hand gently on her back, trying to be as gentle as possible. He looked up once again to see if the room was still intact. The only thing he could remotely think of _why_ she wasn't happy she was pregnant was something he was afraid to ask. But he had to. "Are you worried because maybe—that it…um….…it…that…it….."

" 'It' what?" She asked, with her head still down.

"It….._isn't_ B's?" She snapped her head up to him.

"Of course it's Garfield's! Don't ever accuse me of such a thing! Why would you even say such a thing? That is just the _most_ vile….." She yelled at him, stopping short of her insult to him, pounding her fist on the bed. The windows behind her were covered in black energy and shook for a while before the energy faded away.

He lowered his head and she regretted yelling at him. She looked over behind her to see the window still intact. He had said the wrong thing, but she knew he was just curious as to why she wasn't happy and it was understandable to want to think of something bad might have happened in the Logan's relationship. She inhaled, trying to let go of her rage. She might have vowed to not be her mother, but she should remember that she _certainly_ wasn't going to be her father, and kill everyone with her rage.

After a few seconds more went by, she exhaled and was calm again "I'm-I'm sorry for yelling. It's just that…Garfield's the _only_ one I will ever….and it's just hurtful for you to think me any less."She said. He lifted his head.

"I didn't think so, but I just thought I should ask to make sure. I'm just trying to figure out why you _aren't_ happy."

"It's because I'm pregnant." She said, admitting that she was indeed pregnant. Cyborg was still confused.

"Well, don't you want to have kids?" She looked away.

"Not-not really."

"What about Lydia?" He asked. She avoided his eye contact for a while, and when he did try to look at her eye, she looked away.

"She….she…" Should she tell him? She had told Starfire a long time ago, so it was only natural Cyborg could know the truth _six_ _years_ _later_. "She wasn't exactly planned." She said slowly. "And for a time, she…..she…wasn't _wanted_."

Cyborg didn't know what to say. He thought that he had crossed a boundary that couldn't be uncrossed.

"That um….that…..wow…I-I don't know what to say Rae…..that…that kind of explains a lot, actually." He finally said after some time had passed by. He removed his hand on her back and sat back on his chair looking at the monitors. "Do you want me to make a call?"

Before she had time to answer, there was a knock on the door, and before either of them had time to answer, Garfield walked through the door.

"Can I come in?" He asked, already putting his foot into the room. He was anxious to share a bed with her again, if only to have someone to hold onto during the night. Before Cyborg said anything, he looked at Raven, but unlucky for her, Garfield saw her face before she had time to hide it. He rushed to her side asking, "What's going on? What happened?"

The last time she was upset was when she admitted to him about Trigon, and he _never_ wanted to see her look like _that_ again. To just see her look _that_ helpless made him feel helpless. He sat next to her, held her hand, and tried to get her to turn her head to face him, but she adverted her eyes.

"Rae, what's going on?" He asked her in a desperate tone, but she merely closed her eyes and hugged him tightly, resting her eyes on his shoulder. He turned his head to a somber looking Cyborg. "Cy, what's going on?"

"I don't know if I can tell you." He said, unsure of what exactly he should do in this situation.

"What do you mean you don't _know_? I'm her husband. Whatever hurts her hurts me. I would like to what has happened to my _wife_?" He asked to Cyborg, rather aggressively. "Is she ill? (_Turning his head back to Raven_) Rae, are you ill?" She stayed silent. "Answer me. Please."

"Rae, I'm going to have to tell him or he'll just assume the worst." Cyborg said to her, but she was still silent. Garfield turned his head to Cyborg. "She's pregnant."

Just like with Raven, Garfield could only hear this buzzing weird sound in his head after Cyborg had spoken. He starred at the back of Rae's head, wondering what exactly she was thinking about. If only _he_ could have been the telepath. He looked back to Cyborg.

"Pregnant? Pregnant-Pregnant? Like, with a child?" He asked him, but turned his head back to Rae before he had time to answer. "Raven?" She dug her nails into his shoulder as she looked up at him, her eyes were not completely wet, but they weren't completely dry either.

"Y-yes." She whispered, before she put her head back down on his shoulder. Garfield looked out the window for quite some time, before he began to gently sway her back and forth.

His mind was racing. He was remembering the difficult pregnancy she had once before, and how everything that could of went wrong, did go wrong. She worried about Trigon, had sleepless nights, and she couldn't even enjoy the little quiet moments she had because Robin would ruined it. Nope, it wasn't until Lydia was born that things in the Tower started to cool off, and then Raven finally saw the face that caused her so much distress, and she wasn't mad anymore. But was he willing to have her go through _all_ that just to have _another_ Demonic child running around? Could they even risk it this time?

"Cy, could you give us some private time?" He asked his robotic friend after some time passed by. Cyborg merely stood up and tried to shut the door on his way out as quietly as possible, as if the noise would irritate his friends. Garfield looked back down at her. "Rae, Rae, look up at me."

She lifted her head up, but she avoided his eye contact, staring down at her bed instead.

"Rae, _please_, look at me." Her violet eyes looked into his green iris. He tried to lower his voice, so it wouldn't be heard by someone listening in and that it would comfort her at the same time. "It's going to be okay, okay? If you want, we can go to a small clinic…..or-or even a private doctor, and have this taken care of. We can-can use fake names and disguise ourselves, so this won't get out in the newspapers or Faux News calling us, 'The Worst Superhero Parents in the World' just because they don't know us or our situation. It would be just be bad publicity for the whole team, so we can cover it up, if you want. Because-because _they_ don't know us, and-and that having too _many_ Demonic children is the _worst_ thing for the world rather than for the _better_."

"But….." She said after he was done, sitting back up. "I thought you _wanted_ to have children?"

"Rae, Lydia is my world. She-she is my pride and joy. I have Lydia, and I'm not going to get greedy and ask more of you then you can give."

"But you said—"

"Listen to me, okay? Look at me." He said, looking deeply in her eyes. He could only imagine how scared she was, and he wanted to make sure she knew where she fit into his life. "If I had to pick between you, who is already living in my world, then an unborn, _possibly_ dangerous being, I would pick you. _Always_. The same is said with Lydia. I'm not going to endanger her life if she has an uncontrollable brother or sister. You have a choice now."

She gripped his arm. "I always had a choice." He signed heavily.

"Yeah, but sometimes—now, it's only sometimes—I feel like I didn't give you much of a choice when it came to Lydia." He solemnly admitted to her. She shifted her weight closer to him. "Sometimes, I replay those scenes in my head when we were talking about her back then. And—I don't know—I go on thinking that I maybe I may had _implied_ during those times that I would break up with you if you _didn't_ have her. But that's not what I meant—"

"—And I didn't think so either." She interrupted. "Garfield, your excitement about a child was on the 'pro' list rather than the 'con'. Despite what you think, I _did_ make the decision with your _help_, rather than with your _push_."

"But, what I am saying now is that I'm _not_ going to put you through hell again just to make me happy or to be 'politically correct'—"

"—Do you even know what that phrase means—?"

"No, not really—but what I'm trying to say is….. is that I don't want this pregnancy to destroy us." He said, putting her hand on his cheek. "We got lucky with Lydia, but I'm just afraid….."

"Garfield…." She started, but she didn't know what else to say. She closed her eyes to try and better prepare herself, before opening them again and looking deeply into those forest green eyes. She put a hand on top of his cheek. "You didn't force me to do anything. Even though I would say now and again that Lydia is my gift to you. She also a gift for me as well…you know, it was a long time ago when I was deciding about Lydia, a long time ago."

"It wasn't _that_ long ago. And I do now understand the risks more than ever with Lydia. Sometimes it _is_ dangerous work; but I still love her and refuse to give her to your mother."

"I understand; Lydia represents your little sister your mother lost."

"No—well, _technically_ yes—but, she's also my daughter too. Rae," He said, grabbing her hand on his cheek and squeezing it tightly. "Don't feel pressured or rushed into anything. One word from you will be the end of this conversation."

"_Me_? You had some part in this too. It shouldn't be _solely_ my decision. We would both be affected by this decision."

"But I don't want to discuss it; it might end in a fight. The last time we discuss this, we barely spoke to each other for a few weeks."

"Don't over exaggerate; it was only a few days and we didn't fight, we talked." She said. She waited for a few moments to past by before she asked, "What do _you_ want to do?"

"Whatever you want to do."

She signed. "But really, Garfield, what do _you_ want to do?"

He looked out to the window before looking back at her. "I want my family together. And if you think that this child could pose a threat to us, I rather not have it. I already have Lydia, I don't need any more. But," He looked up at her chakra and gently ran his fingers around its outline. "If you think this child is not dangerous, could be tamed, and you're feeling up to it, I _wouldn't_ mind raising another rug rat."

She didn't know what to do other then give him a small smile for comforting her, before it disappeared into a sour expression. He embraced her tightly and they both collapsed onto the bed, just lying there and looking up at the ceiling, wondering when Cyborg would come in.

She didn't say anything, but she didn't have too, Garfield knew. She was going to think about it, and Garfield was going to wonder how on Earth she had gotten this way. He didn't want to bring it up in the moment, but he did begin to wonder if she was taking her birth control. Did she forget? Did she miss one? After all, she was still recovering from all her sessions about Trigon, she probably wasn't thinking straight and just forgot. But it was unlike her. And yet, here she was, _pregnant_.

Well, there was the pesky condom problem he had that evening, but…..she had her pills. That was enough, right? Her pills would have solved his condom problem. Right? Right?

"Maybe I should get an operation." He finally said after they had laid on the bed for what seemed like an hour. But it was only fifteen minutes. She stared at him, perplexed.

"What do you mean an operation?"

"You know, (_Lowering his voice_) a vasectomy. (_Normal voice_) To just make things easier."

"But I thought you said you are unsure how the operation would—"

"—I know, but I'm just throwing ideas out there. The whole pills, injections, condoms—that gets complicated after a while until we can't even keep straight of what we used. I just want to make things easier, I guess." She gave him a small smile, before she looked off to the side.

"It's not your fault I came from a race of hormonal Demons." She said, shifting her weight to his side of the bed. He looked down at her hands and started intertwining them in his own hand.

He looked at her sapphire ring and examined the small stone. It was literally a rock on a band. It was extremely easy to find, and to buy, because it was considered cheap jewelry as it wasn't cut to be a diamond yet. Even though it was considered romantic by him to give her something truly from nature, he decided right then and there to saved up and buy her a better one. A real diamond. She was worth it. She wouldn't accept a more expensive ring, but he'll find a way to _make_ her accept it.

"It's not your fault either." He looked back up at her. "You don't know how you're going to react to those birth control injections. You said it might give you some weird side effects?"

"I don't want to chance it."

"Okay, so you don't have to get those injections. And you said that you can't get your tubes tied?" She shook her head. She gripped his hand tighter as she looked into him.

"I'm afraid my tubes would only heal and reattached itself because of my Demonic race and body. My race _wants_ me to bear as many children as possible. So, sterilization for me is almost impossible. I can only rely on my hormones."

"How do you know this?"

"I-I just know." She said, looking helplessly into his eyes. "I've read things….in my books. My body will heal itself on its own if it feels threatened."

"Well, we can look into other forms. I mean, the pill must have failed."

"I have told you before that Demons have different hormones then humans. The pills I take are meant for humans. Maybe my hormones were just stronger this time around. But we had the condom." Shit, she just _had_ to ask.

"Actually," He said, looking away from her for a moment as he was a bit ashamed. "It broke."

She lifted up her head and looked at him in horror. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, it….kind of…..sort of…sometimes….just happens. (_Chuckling nervously_) I don't like to tell when it does happen. It's nothing to worry about."

"Nothing—nothing to worry about?" She shouted, with a light bulb above them flickering before it shattered into pieces. She shielded them from the pieces falling on them.

"Well, obviously, _yes_, I shouldn't believe it's _nothing_ to worry about. I _do_ worry a bit when it does happen, but I just ask you if you are still on the pill. And you say 'yes', you don't ask any questions, and nothing _ever_ happens." He looked away. "Except, of course, in this case."

"But…I don't even know where to begin. You hid the truth about the condoms from me—"

"Rae, sometimes we are _really_ rough, and _things_ happen. It has occasionally broken in the past, and I would worry, but I didn't want to tell you—"

"—You told me with Lydia—"

"—Yes, but that was the first time. And it was _ripped_ apart. When I say 'break' now, what I mean is a few holes or so. We both are clean with any disease, we live a healthy life, and so I just didn't want to worry you for something that could be harmless. I've read about some girls getting some major scares before, and I thought you had enough on your plate with Lydia and all. I didn't want you to know unless I was certain you were pregnant—I read the symptoms and everything online, and so I would have told you if I thought you were. Plus, if you were just acting weird and stuff, I could tell you. But you didn't have _any_ symptoms in the last month. _Nothing_." He said, trying to defend himself.

She looked away from him, taking her hand away from his. What the fuck was he thinking? She only read his mind occasionally when they were flirting with each other or so, but this made her want to read his mind all the _goddamn_ time, just to teach him a lesson. For the love of Azarath, it seemed like it didn't matter how much time he had to mature and grow up, he would _still_ end up doing something so goddamn stupid and careless.

"Look, I screwed up, I now realized that. I've read some articles that said I should tell you, but I thought, 'they don't know us. We have enough problems in life. What do they know? They're just doctors who don't want to get sued. I'm just trying to keep my wife calm.' My method had been working well for years. My heart was in the right place. My brain just wasn't." He said, once again defending himself.

She continued to avoid his eye contact as he turned her head with his hand.

"Rae? Please talk to me. I'm really, _really_ sorry."

She wanted to stay mad at him, but, in her own words, it would be pointless. He made a mistake; he had misjudged the seriousness of his secrecy about the condoms and nothing left to do, but hope he wouldn't do it again. Yes, hope, and reading his mind every morning for the rest of his life. But, it was nice to _know_ that she could rock his world, even when she was in a trance during the beginning. It was nice to know _that_ much. She still avoided his eye contact, but grabbed his hand.

He signed. "I just thought the pills were always going to be there for us. I mean, you never missed _any_. You do everything the _right_ way. How could it fail?"

"I-I don't know…..sometimes it happens. Pills have a five to ten percent failure rate. It increases if I didn't take it right. But I did, and my hormones were just stronger this time around."

"But it doesn't happen to us."

"Well, now it has." She looked into his eyes. "The thing with the condoms—I forgive you for not telling me."

He signed in relief and raised an eyebrow. "Why? I mean I'm glad, but why so suddenly?"

"Last time I had faith in the condoms, and now you had faith in the pills. Now we both learned a lesson." She said.

"We're only human." He said, but before she had a chance to say anything else, he added, "Rae don't—you're more human than you think. _I_ say you're human."

"Then I'm human." She said. "But just to let you know, I'm reading your mind every morning now. Just to avoid any more 'mistakes'." He once again chuckled nervously. But hey it was better this way then him sleeping on the couch that night.

They both slept in their room that night, with neither of them mad at each other.

* * *

"Okay, ya'll, dinner!" Cyborg shouted over the intercom. It had been a week since the Logan's had find out about the news. Raven was in her room meditating with Lydia. She had been meditating a lot during the week, thinking about her situation.

"Okay, that's enough for today." Raven said as she lowered herself to the floor.

"Mama, when can I levitate's myself while med-i-tating." Lydia asked as she stood up, still trying to figure out how to pronounce 'meditate' normally.

"In time you'll get there." Raven said. Garfield opened the door from the other side.

"Dinner." He said, reaching his hand out for Lydia.

"Thank you for telling us what we _just_ heard on the intercom." Raven said sarcastically.

"Well, you know Cyborg, he wants to eat, but wants everybody to be at the table first." He looked into her eyes. He turned his head to Lydia. "Go ahead, we'll be there soon."

"Okay." She said, as she skipped along the corridor to the kitchen.

"Rae, are you…" He asked.

"I'm okay." Raven said, getting up to the door. "I'm okay." He wasn't fully convinced, but nodded his head and allowed her to the lead the way. He had been asking all week if she was 'okay' anytime they met, but she merely kept insisting that she was fine.

* * *

Robin and Starfire were feeding Bruce at the table; Cyborg was amused as he watched the two of them trying to get Bruce to eat something, as he was trying to keep his eyes away from the Logan's. And both Raven and Garfield noticed his averted eyes. They just decided to eat silently and allow Robin and Starfire to entertain them all.

The group had been eating for a while before Raven felt a sharp pain in her stomach. She maintained her composure and decided to continue eating. However, the sharp pain came back, and this time she felt a little nausea. She put down her fork and covered her mouth, as sublting as possible, but Robin noticed.

"Raven, are you alright?" Robin asked, before he put a spoonful of baby food in Bruce's mouth.

"I'm fine." She said, as she calmly sat up from the table "Will you excuse me?" She said, as she made her way towards the door. Before she was even halfway up the stairs, she felt her nausea getting worse, and then started sprinting from the room.

"Beast Boy, did Raven catch a cold?" Robin asked. "Because it looks like she did. I don't want her near Bruce, then."

"I'm sure it's just the food. Maybe it was just too much pepper on the pork." Garfield said, as he stood up as well and started making his way to the door.

"Hey! My pork was cooked to perfection and season properly!" Cyborg shouted out to him as he left the room.

* * *

"Rae?" Garfield asked as he walked into their white and purple bathroom. However, it wasn't so white anymore. There was a giant of vomit stain on the rug, and beside the stain was Raven. She had thrown her cloak to the side and was kneeling over the toilet bowl, spitting out the remains of what she had just vomited. "Huh, so _now_ you show pregnancy symptoms?"

She didn't have time to respond as she once again kneeled down and retched out her dinner. He sat opposite of her, but far _away_ from the stain, and rubbed her back to help get the last bits out. Her mouth was covered in spit as she tried to pull her hair away from her cheek. She wasn't exactly looking sexy right now.

"Remind me not to eat pork. At least for the next year." She said, as she tried to wipe her mouth clean with her sleeve.

" 'At least for the next year'? What do you mean by that…..(_Gasp_) Rae, do you mean…..?" He asked, grabbing her arms as he anticipated her answer. She blushed as she realized she had gave away her answer, even though she wanted to tell him another time. She smiled and nodded her head. He embraced her into his arms and hugged tightly as he kissed her unkempt hair and kept repeating, "Ooh, Rae, (_kiss_) I love you, (_kiss_) I love you, (_kiss_) I love you….."

After some time went by, and he had calm down, they broke off, and she saw that he had a few tears in his eyes.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, wiping his tears away with her fingers.

"So you wouldn't." He said.

She smiled. "Did you steal that line from one of your books?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. (_Sniffling_) But I'm just happy, aren't you?" He asked. He was expecting her to just agree with him, but she looked down.

"Yes." She started. "But—"

"But what? (_Sniffling_) Rae, I said you don't have to feel pressured into anything. If you _really_ don't want this—" He said, grabbing her hand.

"Oh, I do, but it's just that…this decision seemed easier to make then with Lydia. I don't know if that's fair to Lydia." She said.

"Is that what you're worried about? You're decision was _too_ easy to make?" He said.

"No. It's just that, I know it may sound silly, but I don't know why I accepted this child earlier then I did with Lydia." She said, putting her hand on her stomach. "_Why_ did I call Lydia a _monster_ when I was making my decision, and yet I haven't even thought about this child in that _way_ at all? Why am I calling this child, a _child_, so soon?"

"I have some theories on that." He said, putting his hand on her stomach as well. "You were younger when we had Lydia, she was our first, and so we didn't have a clue what to do, because we didn't plan on children. But now we know what to do. We know what to expect of a quarter born Demon, that they aren't _that_ dangerous, and they _our_ children, _not_ Trigon's." She allowed her smile to come back, but he could tell she wasn't completely convinced. "Maybe…..maybe you are just happier in life because the memories of Trigon don't haunt you as much as they used too. It's _okay_ to want another child." She rubbed his hand that was placed on her stomach. "After all, I am like _the_ best Dad in the world. It's understandable why would want another one." He added, raising his eyebrows up and down as she scoffed.

"Alright, I won't touch that one. For _now_." She said as she drew closer to him. She hugged him tightly, as he rubbed her back.

Her uniform gradually turned the color white.

"When did you make this decision?" He asked.

"Two days ago. I was…..I was waiting for the right moment." She said. He burst out laughing.

"So, you thought _now_ would be a good time? With the _vomiting_?" He asked her.

"I kind of gave it away, I didn't mean to talk about it now." She said, smiling.

"What about before dinner? When I asked you if you were okay? You could have told me then." He said, chuckling.

"And what? Missed out on this romantic scenery?" She said sarcastically, as they broke off. "Do we have to tell the others _today_? I mean, we can keep this a secret between us for a while."

"And Cyborg." He added.

"Well, that's unavoidable, obviously." She said.

"We'll have to let him know it's okay, or he'll continue to ignore us." He said as he looked down at her uniform. "White looks good on you." She blushed.

NOW, WAS THE CLIFF HANGER BEFORE WORTH IT? OKAY, I AM OFF TO PLAY MY NEW GAME. AND WATCH PEOPLE PLAY MY NEW GAME.


	33. Good Grief

OKAY, I HAD THIS PLANNED OUT _WAYYYYYYY_ BEFORE I REALIZED THAT IT WOULD BE PUBLISHED WITHIN THE SAME MONTH THAT 'BREAKING DAWN' WOULD COME OUT, SO I PUT OFF UPDATING JUST SO I WOULDN'T HAVE _THAT_ SERIES BE COMPARED TO ME. AND NOW THAT I SAID IT OUT LOUD, IT'S UNAVOIDABLE. DAMMIT. BUT THAT'S THE REASON WHY I TOOK MY TIME ON THIS CHAPTER, AND THE MOVIE CAME OUT ON MY BIRTHDAY, WHICH MEANT I COULDN'T SEE A MOVIE IN GENERAL BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE A BUNCH OF TWIHARDS THERE.

That night, the other's decided to watch a movie, and they were a little perplexed how Raven was able to come out of the bathroom after it was only two hours ago she was sick.

"I'm fine, really, it was just the food." She said, with Garfield by her side as she eyed Cyborg to get his attention. The others were convinced. Although, as soon as Robin and Starfire turned away to set up the movie and gather up the kids, Raven put her hand on her stomach, with Garfield smiling, looking at Cyborg.

Cyborg's eyes lit up and he wanted to lift up both of his friend's, but he stopped short when the Logan's eyed Starfire and Robin and put their fingers over their lips. Once Cyborg understood the message, he gracefully yet quickly made his way up to them and just smiled. It took all his might not to just shout out loud or jump up in the air. Raven blushed, as Garfield was smiling just as wide as Cyborg. All he could do at the moment was just to shake Garfield's hand.

"So, that's why you're wearing white?" Cyborg quietly asked Raven. She looked down and nodded. He looked over to Starfire and Robin, who were trying to settle down Bruce and Lydia after a long day. "So when…?"

"We don't know yet." Garfield said quietly. "They've _just_ had Bruce; we don't want to take the attention away from them. Or at least have them _think_ we are."

"So…well, what am I supposed to do then? Just pretend _nothing_ is going on?" He asked, trying to hide his high energy because he was so excited. "Do you really think I can keep a secret _this_ big?"

"You better." Raven added in her monotone. He scoffed and looked over at Robin and Starfire once again.

"Maybe they'll be happy, I mean…look at Robin with Lydia." He whispered, nodding over to Robin, who was handing Lydia the DVD box and showing her the pictures it had on the back to get her excited about the movie. "He loves her; maybe he'll be fine this time."

"Yeah, _maybe_, but we don't know yet." Garfield whispered. "Look, Rae just admitted to me _today_ that she's keeping it. I just want to enjoy what little happiness we have right now, before I start telling people. The last time we told _immediately_ afterwards, it blew up in our faces."

"Then why do _I_ know first?"

"Because you're the one who found out. Ah _duh_." Garfield whispered. "You've been avoiding us for the past week, so you _needed_ to know."

"Oh." He said, now remembering just how the whole thing started. "Man, I don't know if you should keep something this big a secret. Are you guys sure you know what you're doing? I don't know what to do if they find out I knew about it first."

"And how will they find out?" Raven asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Look, Rae, they are going to notice a few things strange with you. It's not exactly something you can hide for long." Cyborg said.

"What are you guys talking about?" Robin asked, as he turned on the television. Garfield blushed as Raven tried her hardest, out of all her years of acting like a stoic bitch, to _not_ blush as well.

"We were…..we were just arguing over about…..the season finale of 'Third-Grade Teacher Confessions'….." Garfield quickly said.

"Hmm…..come on, guys, we're about to start the movie." Robin shouted out to them before he sat back in the middle of couch with Starfire. Lydia was sitting in his lap, waiting for her parents, while Bruce was crawling all over the floor, picking up the scatter pieces of paper on the floor and slowly examining them. "Raven, do you mind, the lights?"

Raven used her black energy to turn off the lights, as the giant screen television became their only light source.

"Thanks Raven." He said, looking back. He then noticed her white uniform before going back to the movie. "Going for a new look, I see?" He didn't think twice about it; he rarely saw her white cloak, and so only assumed she had changed the color herself for a new look. He knew he was going to change his uniform soon; he wasn't as young as he used to be, and so thought that she was doing the same. What a sap.

"Alright, let's just go watch the movie. We'll talk about this later." Cyborg said, as he was about to make his way to the couch before Garfield stopped him with his hand.

"Cy, since we are talking about this, I want you to do something for me." He asked. The movie was loudly playing the opening credits, allowing Garfield to ask his question now, while Starfire and Robin's attention were elsewhere for the moment. "I want you to keep an eye on Rae. You know, while _in _battle."

"Garfield, I can take care of myself." She whispered, looking over to him, staring into his eyes. "I promise I will be careful." He wanted to argue right then and there, but Robin and Starfire were _right_ _there_.

He signed. "I know you will be careful. _But_, when you are reaching your second trimester," he turned to Cyborg. "I want Cy to be right _there_, to make sure you aren't _that_ injured afterwards. You will be there, Cy? Protecting her?" Cyborg couldn't back down to those green eyes; they looked determined, and they looked like they would break Cy in half if he _didn't_ say 'yes' immediately.

"I'm sure Rae can handle her own, but," Cyborg said, reaching out for Garfield's hand, because he thought that he needed to convince _him_ rather than Raven. They probably would start quoting _The Godfather_ if Rae wasn't there at that moment. For now they were just performing some weird bromance thing that Rae didn't want to understand, but Cyborg was being theatrical for Garfield's sake, not Rae's. "But, I'll look out for her. I promise." Oh, for the love of Azarath, Raven was so close to saying, 'get a room'.

But instead, she whispered, "You guys, I'm not _dying_. I can take care of myself." She rolled her eyes before Garfield let go of his friend's hand and he escorted her to the edge of the couch.

They weren't sitting as close to each other as Starfire and Robin were, nobody could _out_-_couple_ them, but they were close enough to hold hands, as she rested her head on his neck. There may have been a movie playing, but neither of them paid attention. They were either looking at each other out at the corner of their eyes, or they were _thinking_ about looking at each other while watching the movie. The movie didn't interest them; it was something do with blue creatures inhabiting a planet in the future, and Earth wanted to take over it for some resource or something, blah, blah, blah…..sometimes real life was just little more entertaining than fictional characters.

Uh….

Well…_only_ sometimes. Then, after that, you _need_ to indulge into any fiction and fantasy you can get your hands on.

* * *

She was able to keep her uniform white for the whole week, and only sometimes afterwards when she _wasn't_ feeling any side effects from the pregnancy. But other than that, she could only keep her cloak white for so long because the secrecy of their pregnancy from the other two Titans was weighing on her conscious.

But the Logan's _did_ decide to tell _one_ more person.

"So, what's going on?" Lydia asked a week later, while all the Logan's were sitting in Raven and Garfield's room.

Lydia had been told that they wantd to see her in their room after dinner, but not to tell anyone about it and she was worried that she was in trouble. Garfield lifted her up and set her on his lap, as he played with her pony tail. He liked to find all of her light violet highlights. Her hair color looked black far away, but when examined up close, it was clear that it was just a dark violet color.

She looked up at her father. "Am I's in trouble?" She asked. Garfield still found it funny how her missing teeth made her emphasize an extra 'S' in her speech.

He smiled. "No. It's news about us. About Mama." He said, as Raven sat on the floor, so she wouldn't appear threatening to Lydia. "Do you notice something different about Mama?"

Lydia looked down at her mother. "She's wearing white." She said, still a little confused by the question. Her mother looked a little less stoic than normal.

"And do you know why?" He asked her, even though she wouldn't know the answer. "She's going to have a baby."

"A baby?"

"Yes, a baby. Many months from now, you will have a baby sister or a baby brother." He said, smiling as he said so. Raven blushed and looked down.

"I'm gonna have's a brother? Or a sister?" Lydia asked, standing up on the bed, leaning on her father's shoulders and getting a little too excited. "A _real_ brother and sister? Oh, I would love that! I could's boss them around and play with them at night—"

"Lydia." Raven said quietly, nodding over to where their bookshelves were, as they were shaking in their place from Lydia's excitement. "Be careful, please."

"Oh, Mama, Mama, I want a sister—I don't want's a brother. Brother's are stupid—I've seen it on T.V.! They are bad and-and mean! Can you give me a sister? I can's play with her hair! Can I have a sister?" Lydia asked Raven, as she was jumping up and down on the bed.

"I can't control what gender your sibling will be." Raven said.

"What?" She asked, confused as there were too many words in that sentence that just went over her head.

"What I mean," Raven said, taking Lydia's hand. Lydia stopped her jumping on the bed and walked over to Raven to sit in her lap. "What I mean, is that, I don't know if you will have a brother or a sister. You see, the stork gives you a baby, sometimes when you ask for it, sometimes when you don't ask for it. We have a baby now, and if we _choose_ to keep the baby, the baby will start growing inside my stomach, and will choose its gender for itself." She looked at Lydia's small hands, and gently guided them over to her stomach where she had a very small baby bump. Lydia looked up into her mother's eyes, with Raven smiling as her daughter wasn't looking at her out of fear or anger, but looking at her with happiness. "I won't know what gender it is—meaning if it's a boy or a girl—for another few months."

"So, your stomach will get big? You'll get fat?"

"Lydia!" Garfield shouted, horrified that his daughter could insult someone as such.

"It's okay." Raven said, looking up to him before she looked back into her daughter's eyes. "Lydia, it's not nice to call people fat, even if they are. But yes, I will get fat, but that's because there is a baby inside of me. And the baby will want me to eat certain foods that aren't really healthy for _me_, but are good for a growing baby."

"Lydia, I want you to be Mama's little helper while she is pregnant." Garfield said, making Lydia summon her attention to him. "And when the baby _is_ here, you're going to have to help Daddy out a bit. You're going to be a big sister, and therefore you should be setting an example to your younger sibling. It is true that you will somewhat boss your sibling around, but in order to have that responsibility, you need to show you can be a big girl and act your age."

"Oh, yes, Daddy, I will be the best big sister ever! I can't wait many months! When is the baby coming?" Lydia asked, looking over to her mother.

"A little while after you turn six." She said.

"That long? That's like _forever_!" Lydia said, becoming a little disappointed how long she would have to wait for her new sibling to come into her life.

By then, half of her favorite shows might be cancelled, and the baby will never get to see those shows. The universe was working against her. Why so long? Her mother had accepted the stork's baby, but she has to _wait_ almost a _year_ for the baby to arrive in person? What a stupid bird, can't even do its job right.

Garfield chuckled at Lydia's comment. Raven merely pushed a piece of hair away from her face. "You're right, that is a _long_ time." She said, agreeing with Lydia. "But, it's a long time for a reason. I can have time to prepare for the baby, and the baby can have time to grow strong in my stomach in order to survive in this tough world. You see, my stomach is a safe place for the baby, and the longer it stays in there, the healthier it will be."

"Lydia, there's another thing you need to know too," Garfield said, changing the subject of the conversation. "You cannot tell anyone about this. We have already told Uncle Cyborg about it, but that's because he found—he saw the stroke coming into our room when we didn't. You cannot tell Uncle Robin or Aunt Starfire. We will tell them in time, before the baby comes."

"But-but-but why can't I tell?" She asked, confused. Raven once again pushed a piece of hair away from her face.

"We don't know how they'll handle the news, and so we are not going to tell them for a while." Raven said softly. She guided Lydia's hand to her stomach. "That is where the baby is right now. He or she is very small. I know you're excited, but please keep that excitement for us and Uncle Cyborg. Keep this a secret. You cannot tell anyone unless we tell you otherwise. If you do tell, it could mean trouble. We want to tell them at the _right_ time. Do you understand?"

"But won't they be happy?" Lydia asked, still confused by all the secrecy. "What? Don't adults tell each other's everything?"

"We don't know if they'll be happy. But don't worry about it, we'll tell them in time. Just keep this between us and Uncle Cyborg. Okay?" Raven asked. That was all she could tell her. "Please; this is one of your duty's as a big sister, protect your younger sibling."

"I still don't know why, but I won't tell's them." She said. "Can I name the baby?

"What would you name it?"

"Captain Planet!"

"Yes, I can see you have been watching too much television." Raven said, looking up at Garfield, who was nervously chuckling.

"What do its eyes look like? When can I-when can I play with it when it's born? Will it have powers like me?" She was getting excited again and Garfield could hear the candles around them shaking in their place.

"Lydia." He said softy, pointing to the candles. "Say your chant."

"Oh, okay Daddy." She said, obeying her father. "(_Closing her eyes_) Oceans, flowers, lions. Oceans, flowers, lions. Ocean, flowers, lions…." She repeated on as Raven swayed her back and forth.

* * *

The following week, Garfield was mostly found in the gym, as he was preparing himself for the coming months when he would take over Raven's place. It was a little too early for him to be working out, but he was eager to start his training and to make sure he was in the best shape of his life for when he _did_ take over her position on the team.

Lydia was in the gym watching her father work out while her mother was out doing her job. She watched him lifting up weights, as he turned into a different animal each time, while she played with her Barbie and her stuffed animals. She was wearing a yellow T-shirt with a black skirt.

"Daddy? When will Mama stay home?" She asked. Garfield turned back into his original form, as he continued to lift up the 200 pound weights…..okay now, he was just getting started on his training.

"(_Breathing heavily_) Well…..um…..it's going to be a few more months….." He said before he lifted up the weight once again.

"Will…will Mama play with me?" She hesitantly asked, looking down at her Barbie.

"What? (_Putting down the weights_)…what-what are you talking about?" He said, as he got up from his bench, taking a towel to his face from the sweat. He put the towel on the side and looked over to her. "Lydia, Mama…..Mama plays with you, whenever-whenever she is home. Why do you think…..?"

"No, she doesn't. She just wants me to do school work and meditate….and she will have's the new baby to play with. Why would she play's with me?" She asked, looking up at him.

Garfield didn't know how to react. He slowly strolled over to Lydia and kneeled down to her.

"Where is this coming from Lydia? Just yesterday you were so thrilled about the baby that you broke a light bulb. In fact you have been breaking things ever since we told you the news." He said, hesitantly putting his sweating palms on her shoulder. She continued to stare at her Barbie. "Lydia? You know, I can't read your thoughts, so you're going to have to tell me what's going on. Do you think we will ignore you once the baby is here?"

She was silent.

"I see." He said. He sat down next to her and put her on his lap, but she still stared at her doll. "Lydia, you are my world. Don't you know that?"

"Yeah. I love you too's, Daddy."

"So why do you think I will stop loving you?"

"Because Mama will get a new's baby…..and, and you will stop paying attention to me."

"And where did you get that idea?"

"From T.V. It always happens on T.V. shows." Well, better not tell Raven about this, otherwise she will just _ban_ television forever. That's just _too_ drastic for Garfield.

"Lydia, don't you know that in the T.V. shows, the parents realized that their older children don't get enough attention and the problem is resolved by the end of the episode?" He said, brushing her hair away from the eyes. "That's why I asked you to be Mama's little helper, because we want you to be a part of the baby's new life." Lydia still was quiet. "I want you to help Mama because she's scared."

"Scared?" She asked, looking up to meet her father's eyes. "But Mama's never scared."

"Ah, but that is where you wrong. You see, your Mama and I only wanted one child to take care of: _you_. And we got you. But several weeks ago, the stork unexpectedly visited us. And now we are going to have _two_ kids to raise. And you're going to be a big sister." He took her hand and placed it in his palm, comparing the two side by side. "She may not show it, you know she can't. She may even _deny_ it if you ask, but believe me, your Mama _is_ scared."

"Really?" She asked.

"Yep. You see, unlike other mommy's who become pregnant, I can take over your Mama's job so the city would still be safe on our watch. But while I am gone, she's going to miss work. And that is where you come in, to make her forget about work." He said, rubbing his hand on her head.

"Why does Mama like to work so much? Doesn't she like to stay home?"

"Hmm, well she _does_, _if_ she has a good book to read. But Mama likes to work because it is a chance for her to release her emotions, emotions that she might have stored up for quite some time. Right now, she is feeling a _lot_ of emotions with this new baby, and you're going to be a big girl and take care of her while I am gone, doing her job. And also, a person should like their job in life. It makes their life easier if they can enjoy the job they have."

"Are you going's to turn into all kinds of animal's while fighting bad guys?" She asked, with her attention now directed at Daddy's job.

"Yep." He said proudly.

"I'll help out Mama, Daddy." She said, changing the subject yet again. Garfield smiled and petted her head once again. "Turn into a doggie!" She commanded him.

He complied with her and transformed into a green puppy with black spots. He licked her face until she fell over from his slobbering.

The Logan's were able to hide the pregnancy for another two weeks from the rest of the team, with the exception of Cyborg. Raven didn't really 'show' any sign to the other's that she was pregnant, but every day Garfield could see the little differences that she would do, the little choices that she would make. And she would make eye contact with him whenever she made those little choices. It was their dirty little secret—with the exception of Cyborg, once again.

MY PARENTS GAVE ME THE COMPLETE POWERPUFF GIRLS SERIES DVD SET. AMAZING, WHEN I WAS YOUNG, THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A SISSY SHOW AND I WOULD BE TEASED AT SCHOOL IF THEY GOT ME MERCHANDISE, AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A PHASE. HOW WRONG THEY WERE! IT TURNED OUT TO BE MY MAIN THING IN LIFE. I'M OKAY WITH CUTTING MY HAIR, JUST SO I CAN LOOK LIKE BUTTERCUP AND MY FAVORITE COLOR HAS BEEN LIGHT GREEN FOR A LONG TIME.


	34. A New Fear Arising

OKAY, GOT THIS OUT IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. SO MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY HANUKKAH TO MY FELLOW JEWS, HAPPY NEW YEARS AND HAPPY ANY WINTER-Y HOLIDAYS THAT PEOPLE MIGHT FORGET BUT PORBABLY CELEBRATE IN ANOTHER COUNTRY THING.

Lydia was most of the time in the presence of Cyborg, Raven or Garfield, so even if she did want to tell the others, i.e. Robin and Starfire, she couldn't. She really didn't understand why her Mama's pregnancy was a secret, but she just knew to trust her parents and do exactly what they say, because sometimes she wasn't supposed to know the reasons herself. It was just some stupid grown-up rule that they made: don't tell Robin or Starfire, because…..just don't.

Whatever, she would go along with it.

"Titans, there's a robbery at the Jump City Natural History Museum!" Robin announced on the intercom.

The Logan's were in Lydia's room, just about starting off the day. Raven was still in her pajamas, because her uniform was starting to feel too tight to wear casually during the day. Garfield was lounging on the floor, as he watched Lydia play with her dolls.

He looked up to Rae with his sad eyes. He didn't want her to go. As the weeks passed by, he had gotten anxious whenever she went off to save the day. She promised him that as soon as they would tell Starfire and Robin, she would let him take over, but he was still sad to see her go each day she was called to do her job.

She noticed his distressed. "I'll be careful." She said softly as she kneeled down to him and she brushed away his hair from his eyes.

"You better. I don't want B junior here to take a beating." He said, putting a hand on her stomach.

"Oh, so now we've moved on from 'Emma' to 'Garfield Jr.' Not only have you switched names, but you've switched genders." She said, as he gently rubbed her stomach.

"Well, I'm just test driving my options."

"We are _not_ naming _anybody_ 'Garfield'. We don't live in the nineteenth century" She said. He chuckled, before he nudged his head a little closer to hers, being millimeters away from her lips, and gently pressed his lips on hers. Lydia was too wrapped up with her storyline about her dolls to notice her parents kissing. But _if_ she would have noticed, she just would have giggled, as it was her nature. "We're still not naming him 'Garfield'." Raven said as she pulled away from him.

She was still by his side, stroking his hair, as she wasn't anxious to leave just yet. "Be careful." He said, lowering his ears.

"Raven!" Robin's voice echoed on the intercom.

"Oh, for the love of Azarath," She said to herself as she took out her communicator. "I need to get dress, _Robin_. I'll meet you at the museum in twenty." She tossed the communicator to the side after she logged off.

She gazed back into Garfield's eyes, with him holding her hand, before she stood up to get dress. He continued to hold her hand until she became out of reach, and he was forced to let go. She gathered up her much needed items, such as her cloak and communicator, before she made her way to the door.

"Bye, Lydia." She said.

"Bye, Mama." Lydia said before Raven closed the door. "Daddy, I want to play with Bruce."

"First, let's get your school work done." He said, with his eyes still gazing at the closed door. He then finally turned his head and attention to his daughter after a few more seconds went by.

* * *

Lydia was in the living room with Bruce, as Starfire was making them lunch. Garfield was off to the super market. Robin, Cyborg, and Raven could still hold their own in a fight by themselves, with the occasional help of Garfield or Starfire, but they couldn't, for the life of them, remember to get more milk and tofu!

"Lydia what would you like on your 'sand of wich?" Starfire asked. Lydia responded with peanut butter and jelly, without questioning her aunt's unique speak pattern. She was used to Aunt Starfire saying things in an unusual manner.

Bruce was sitting on the floor, chewing on one of plastic toys that was just too irresistible _not_ for him to chew on. Lydia was lounging on the floor, watching him. She pulled off one of his socks, just to see if he'll react. Sure enough, he noticed the missing sock, looked at his all of sudden cold foot, and started grabbing his own foot to understand how this strange temperature phenomenal happened. He looked up to Lydia and saw the sock in her hand. He spat out the toy and laughed as he tried to reach for his sock with his hands.

"His eyes look funny when he laughs." She commented to Starfire. "It looks like they are closed, but he can's still see the sock."

"Now, don't be mean, little niece. He is, after all, part Japanese." Starfire said in a serious tone as she while making Lydia's sandwich. "Nobody likes to be teased for their differences."

"I'm not's being mean." Lydia defended herself.

"Well, I do not want you saying mean things to your cousin. He is just part Japanese, and that is what makes him unique, but he might not like being called 'funny eyes'."

"But he's a baby." She said, giving Bruce back his sock. Bruce held his sock up in the air with a small bounce of victory.

"For now, he is a baby; but he'll grow one day." Starfire said. She made her way to Lydia, with her sandwich in hand. "You wouldn't like it if someone made fun of your hair color." She said as she kneeled down.

"I didn't mean it." Lydia said, becoming scared that she was getting into trouble. "I was just…"

"I know. You were just observing him, but I just want you to know that sometimes your words can hurt others, even if you don't mean it, little one." Starfire said. She rubbed Lydia's back. "You are the eldest after all; I want you to set a good example to him. My own sister was not a nice person. It's a wonder my own heart wasn't as cold as hers seeing as how it could have been."

"Why was your sister mean?" Lydia asked, before she took a bite out of her sandwich. Starfire looked off to the side, trying to find the right words, before she looked back at Lydia.

"She was jealous…..that I had the powers that she didn't have…although she would claim that she was stronger than I was, I was favored more by our people and thus more popular. I was more understanding to the needs of our people…..but she was harsh to them, only wanting power. And thus the people didn't like her rule. And she was jealous of that fact." Starfire said. "I told you I was a princess, didn't I?"

"Daddy told me. And he said it wasn't like the fairy tale princesses." She said.

"Right."

"Aunt Stary?" She asked, putting down her sandwich.

"Yes, little one?"

"How can you _not_ be a bad big sister?" She asked. Starfire raised her eyebrows, not knowing how to answer her question, as it was phrased in a weird way. Ironic, though.

"Do you mean how Blackfire could have _been_ a _nicer_ sister?" Starfire corrected her. Lydia just nodded, with a little hesitation. "Well, she could have been kind, she could have not worried about money as much as she did, it would have saved us from a war…she could have been a great ruler, if only she wasn't greedy and a vengeful person."

"So, just don't be greedy and vengeful, and you could be the perfect sister?" Lydia asked.

"Yes, but you also must be nice, kind, and understanding. As the eldest, she should have been a mentor, but instead I taught myself more than she ever did."

"So, be a teacher too? Set a good example for Mama and Daddy?" Lydia asked. Starfire looked into her eyes, becoming confused by her questions.

"Are we still talking about my sister?" She asked. Lydia said 'yes,' but something in her voice suggested to Starfire that she wasn't completely telling the truth. "Is something bothering you, little one?"

"…..No…." Lydia said, with some hesitation.

"Are you telling me the truth?" She asked.

Lydia couldn't take it anymore; she didn't like to be under pressure. And if she _was_ under pressure, she would become stressed out, and she couldn't be stressed out because she would destroy the living room. And Mama would not approve of her annihilating furniture.

"No." Lydia said, a little relieved. "But I can't tell you."

"Why not?" She asked, a little taken aback.

"Because it's a secret. Mama and Daddy told me to keep it a secret."

"Keep what a secret? I do not understand why Raven and Beast Boy would want you to keep secrets." She said. Lydia continued to eat her sandwich, trying not to say anymore. "Why is 'it' a secret?"

"I don't know. I just know that Mama and Daddy don't want you and Uncle Robin to know."

"Just Robin and I? Does Uncle Cyborg know?" She asked. Lydia widened her eyes as she realized she revealed a little too much. She unconvincingly shook her head, but Starfire didn't bother her with questions anymore.

Starfire watched as Lydia went back to playing with Bruce. She was amused by the little ones enjoying each other's company. However, she was disturbed that her friends were keeping secrets from her. She went up to the main window, looking out into the city.

* * *

"So, Star," Garfield said as he was setting aside the grocery bags, going through the list in his head. "I got the eggs, butter, turkey, goat milk, regular milk, soy milk, the tomatoes….um, bread, and the tofu. Did I miss anything?"

Starfire took out the products and started putting them away, oblivious about the fact that he was even talking to her. Bruce and Lydia were in their own rooms, with Bruce having his nap and Lydia having her afternoon meditation session to calm her down.

"Uh, Star?" He said, interrupting her thoughts. She looked over to him. "Are you listening to me? I asked if I missed anything?"

"Oh. Um…..no, I do not believe so." She said, trying to sound like she was perfectly fine.

"Uh, Star, is everything okay?" He asked. She had her back to him and tried with all her might to appear calm, but she couldn't. "Is it something to do with Robin?" He was just used to them having arguments and figured it was one of those times. "Because you know—"

"Friends should not keep secrets." She interrupted him. She turned around, still trying to remain calm. "Do you not agree?"

"Um…..I guess." He said. He got the feeling that this was a trap. She walked up to him with a look of resentment in her eyes. Garfield slowly back away from her as she came closer to him.

"Then why are you keeping secrets from us? Why does Lydia have a secret? And why _can't_ she tell it? And why are you trying to keep it a secret from Robin and I, and why—" She rambled.

"—Star, Star. I cannot understand what you're saying. Please, just…just start from the beginning." He said, trying to back away from her, but she continued to follow him closely. She was getting irritated faster then she had anticipated.

"Something was bothering Lydia and I asked her what was wrong. She had been asking questions about my sister and she seemed to get upset about the subject…." She said very fast. "However, she had told me that it was secret that she was not supposed tell to either Robin or I. I want to know why you are keeping secrets that are not supposed to be known by Robin or I. And _if_ it is a secret _only_ between you and friend Raven, why did you tell Lydia and have her feel guilty when she is around us?" She ended, getting closer to his face. He was putting his hands up to keep a safe distance away from her, just in case a star bolt was being created in her hands.

"Feel better?" He said, putting his hands down. She backed off a few steps away.

"(_Exhale_) A little, yes." She said, becoming aware that she talks very fast whenever she is upset. She crossed her arms. "I am aware that couples keep secrets, but why does Lydia know this secret? And why is she asking questions? I want to know _friend_ Beast Boy." She said calmly, emphasizing the word 'friend'. "I've told you the things Robin and I—"

"—Yes, I know, Star. And I appreciated everything you have told me about Robin. I'm sorry you feel this way." He said, going back to the grocery bag to try and avoid eye contact with her. This intrigued her and she once again became irritated. She didn't like secrets being kept from her, as she thought that maybe it would only cause havoc among friends. She understood that couples could and should keep secret, but involving their child was something different. "(_Exhale_) I guess it is time to tell you."

"Tell me? Tell me what?" She asked.

"Well, I don't know if I should tell you at this time—" and before he could speak any further, she grabbed him by his shoulders and lift him up slightly in the air, as she floated above him.

"What? What? Is it something to do with Robin? You did say before that you think Robin is—"

"Whoa, whoa, Star, calm down. It has _nothing_ to do with Robin." He said, remembering why he hated confrontations with her. "Star, why are you acting this way?—"

"It's hard enough to have Robin keeping secrets from me occasionally; I don't want my friends to do the same—"

"—I'll tell you, Star, if you put me down!" He pleaded. She gently put him down and let go of his shoulders. What had gotten into her? Why was she _so_ persistent in knowing about a small secret that the Logan's kept? He rubbed his shoulders as he looked up to her. "What kind of secrets has Robin been keeping from you?"

"That is none of your concern—"

"—None of my—what about the pact we made?"

"Yes, what _about_ it? I thought part of it was to not keep secrets from each other—"

"—No, that was _never_ in the pact. It was just to tell each other—"

"—Well, keeping secrets is _still_ in the pact—"

"—Star, Star, Star, I'll tell you the secret, but I want to wait for the right time."

"Right time?" She asked, getting up closer to him again.

"It's something that needs to be told at the right moment and Rae needs to be here. I promise, I was _going_ to tell you soon. I'll tell you when Rae gets here." He said. She backed up away from him, and slightly lowered her head. She wasn't irritated anymore, she was just not her usual cheerful self. "What's wrong?"

"I am sorry, Beast Boy. I should have not reacted the way that I did." She said, looking up to him. "It's just that I have been noticing—from watching the local news, that is—the girls in the city are not afraid to walk up to Robin and openly flirt with him. It is because I am not _there_, that this seems to happen a lot more now."

Garfield put her hand on her shoulder. "He wouldn't do anything, Star, you that. It's just a bunch of stupid girls who are trying to get what they can't have. And since his jealous wife isn't there, they feel confident to try and make a move on him."

"I do not know. Robin probably loves the attention and admiration he gets when he is in the city. It's no wonder he hangs out there all the time." She looked over to Garfield. "How do you cope, with Raven being out there?" Garfield couldn't help, but chuckled a bit, even though it was probably at an inappropriate time. "What? What is so funny? You're laughing at me."

"(_Chuckles_) I'm sorry, Star, I'm not laughing at you…..but I'm not exactly _worried_ about the type of boys that Raven attracts. They aren't really her cup of tea."

"Oh, well I am glad you do not have the same problem as I do. But what exactly is her 'cup of tea'?"

Garfield couldn't help, but give her a guilty grin. "Me."

"Hmm." She said, sighing afterwards. "I worry about Robin drifting away from me. He has the whole city to look after." She said, floating over to the living room and looking out the window. "And what does he have to come home to? A nagging wife and a screaming child."

Garfield turned into a cat and made his way to Starfire's side, looking out the window as well. She looked down to the striped cat.

"I am sorry, Beast Boy, for getting upset over a small secret that is probably kept for a reason between you two." She said, peering over the city. "Everyone has secrets. And sometimes it is better _not_ to know them." Garfield's cat figure looked down.

* * *

The team came home that night in the late hours of ten. While it is not late for the average college student, and Cyborg, it was, however, very late for the little Titans, and they didn't have a chance to say goodnight to their other parents before they were fast asleep at eight o'clock.

Cyborg headed for the television, interested in getting some hours on the latest video game he had gotten, Cloudtop, an adventure game set in a medieval world and slaying dragons for the peasants around. Raven had nothing better to do then to watch his latest quest from behind the couch. Robin just sighed and allowed Cyborg to play his game, as he knew he couldn't tore Cyborg away from his new game. He rather have all the Titans go to bed, but what could he say about that already hadn't been said.

"I'm off to bed." Robin said, as he gave a quick nod to Starfire, who was sitting at the table with Garfield.

"I will be there soon." Starfire said, giving him a small smile. He went off to his room. Garfield got up from the table and took Raven by the side.

"Yes?" She asked, noticing that he had a sour look.

"We need to tell Starfire—now." He whispered.

"Now? But I thought—"

"—I'll tell you the reasons why later. But Starfire knows we're hiding something, and we need to tell her _now_. The longer we wait, the more she will feel alone." He said. She wanted to argue with him, but he gave her one of his puppy-dog faces, with his lip whimpering and all. She gave in, tilted her head and slowly nodded. "Starfire!" He shouted out to her.

Starfire was about to get up, but before she even tried, Garfield dragged Raven over to where she sat.

"So, what is the 'secret'? And why can't Robin know?" Starfire asked, in her unusual gloomy voice. She didn't know what to expect.

Garfield smiled and looked over at Raven, who couldn't help, but blush after she looked back. Starfire jerked her head slightly, as she was trying to figure out what the two of them were going to tell her. She didn't even care that they were keeping a secret anymore; she was just having issues with Robin, and Garfield wanted to make her feel better. So, she let him indulged her. But now, she was interested in this secret again. What was it?

"Huh?" She said, like every anime character ever to have uttered out a grunt. "What's going on?"

"I guess I should just go ahead and say it, since I have been tiptoeing around the subject for a while." Garfield said, blushing as Raven gripped on his hand tighter and looked down. "But um, Raven's…oh, how do I say this?...we weren't planning this…I mean, we didn't plan it the first time, but uh….I guess I should just say, because I don't know how you are going to take it….." He rested his head softly on her shoulder, being the romantic type that he was. "But…..uh…Raven is _with_ child…"

"What do you mean 'with child'?" Starfire asked, as she was not accustomed to people talking as if they were living in the nineteenth century.

"She's pregnant, Star." Garfield said to her, frowning a little from ruining the initial moment of telling her, since he felt obligated to be all poetic and what not. Raven chuckled quietly as she gripped his hand even tighter to make him feel better.

Starfire didn't know how to react at first, something the Logan's were afraid would happen. She just stared at them for quite some time, maintaining her polite grin, before she open her mouth.

"Uh…." She uttered, not exactly sure what to say. Garfield and Raven were discourage by her reaction, and just frowned and looked off to the side, trying to avoid eye contact with her.

Dammit, they knew this was going to happen. Starfire wasn't ready yet or she didn't know how to handle the news because of last time. She _wanted_ to be happy, and they _wanted_ her to be happy for them, _but_ that awkward silence just acknowledged the awkward situation she was put in.

When Starfire saw them starring off to the side, she became sad herself that she had upset her friends. "That is…." She said slowly. "That is glorious!" She shouted out joyfully, although a little hesitantly, while she threw her arms up in the air. She didn't want to be the cause of their unhappiness.

The Logan's looked up to her, grateful that she wasn't as upset as they had originally thought. Starfire began to ramble on about how lucky they were, as they were about to have another child, and oh, how she understood why only Lydia would know this secret, and so forth. She went on and on, just so there wouldn't be another awkward silence between any of them.

"…and it's just glorious news to share it with people!" She finished, ending her long speech. She went up and hugged Raven tightly, much to the surprise of the Logan's.

"Okay, Starfire. That's enough." Raven said, with her face squeezing by Starfire's cheek. "Starfire?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry!" She said, breaking the hug. She smiled again, but Raven felt that it was forced. "So, why did you guys keep it a secret for so long? Wait, how long has it been?"

"She's over two months!" Cyborg said from his seat. He knew what was going on, but he was too busy playing Cloudtop to even bother to give them any privacy.

"Why does Cyborg know about this?" Starfire asked.

"He's the one who found out. Remember when those guys got into those chemicals? Raven unintentionally took a pregnancy test when he was treating her." Garfield said. She gave him a puzzled look.

"Then if Cyborg knew, and then Lydia knew, why…."

"It's not like that, Starfire." Garfield said. "We were just afraid about what might happen if we told you too early. We wanted to have at least a few good weeks to enjoy the news ourselves. And Cyborg."

"But I was the first person Raven told when she was pregnant the first time." Starfire complained to Garfield, getting closer to him. Raven put up her hand, trying to protect him from Starfire's wrath.

"Star, it was a decision we made together." Raven said, trying to defend both Garfield and herself. "You have Bruce, and we didn't want to damper your moment with him. He's still a baby. We didn't know how Robin would react, but also, how _you_ would too."

"Raven, you're my friend—"

"—Starfire, I know. But, can you _honestly_ guarantee me that Robin will be happy for us?" She asked. Starfire couldn't give her an answer, and so had to back down from giving Garfield a lecture on the fundamentals of friendship.

"I am sure he will be fine." Was all Starfire could say.

"Maybe." Garfield said, as he folded his arms and looked off to the side. The two girls gave each other gloomy looks, as they didn't know what to do about the situation other than to dwell on the obvious: that Robin needed to know and they didn't know how his reaction was going to be. Hell, not even Starfire was expecting the initial reaction she gave to them at first.

"Could-could I at least feel it?" Starfire asked hesitantly. Raven grinned and nodded her head, opening her cloak for her. Starfire gently and slowly put the palm of her hand on Raven's stomach. There wasn't that much action going on inside, since the baby was still so young, but both the girls were comforted by it.

"I'm sorry you were _one_ of the last to know." Raven said. Starfire looked up to her and smiled.

"Sometimes secrets should be kept secrets. It is okay. But I am glad I know now. But when will you tell Rob—?"

"We don't know yet, but we aren't going to tell him anytime soon," Garfield said, interrupting them from their moment. "And when I say, 'we', I mean everybody in this room." He looked over to Cyborg. "And I mean _everybody_." Cyborg could indicate Garfield was talking about by the way he emphasized 'everybody'.

"What did I do? I'm just playing a game! I haven't told anybody!" Cyborg said, just as he finished slaying a dragon. He looked behind him to see Garfield folding his arms. "And what are you worried about _me_ for, anyway? Star's the one here who blabs the most. And she's married to him."

"You're not going to tell, right?" Garfield asked her, turning his attention to Starfire.

"No, I won't." She said. He smiled. Starfire couldn't help, but hug Raven again.

"Okay, that's enough." Raven said, but Star continued to hug her tightly. "Okay…..that's, that's enough." Starfire let go, and blushed at the awkward, yet joyous, occasion.

* * *

While most of the Tower now knew about the baby, it seemed like there wasn't that much drama in their life, except for Robin, right? Well, those mustn't forget about the children, for they can discover things their parents would wish they wouldn't know.

Lydia was much like her father: adventurist, optimistic, and sometimes a little too curious about things that were not meant for her to know about. Just like how Garfield snooped around Raven's background just to find out her birthday, Lydia too was a little _too_ curious about Raven's past. Although, it wasn't something that just occurred out of nowhere, Lydia understood her father's past, but whenever she asked about 'Mama's' past, there was always a pause, before they would give her some short, sugar-coated, story. She knew she wasn't getting the whole truth, but did she even want to know the truth? She just wanted to know why nobody talked about her grandpa on her Mama's side. Or the explanation about why her grandma lived in another world and they could only see each other once a year.

While Mama was one day meditating in the living room, and with Daddy making lunch for them all, little Lydia was busy snooping around in her parents' bedroom. She slowly opened the door and closed it, being careful not to make a sound when it moved. She carefully went straight to her Daddy's photo albums, because he loved to take pictures, hoping she could find a picture of Mama's father.

She was told a long time ago something about her grandfather, that he was a bad man, and he left the family before Raven was born, but Lydia figured that there might be something in Daddy's old books. And if there wasn't, she would then be forced to search through her mother's stuff, which in her mind, was just scariest thing to even think about it. She wasn't even sure _why_ she was scared, but she just had this _feeling_ that she would be in far more trouble if she went through her mother's things then if she went through her father's things.

And also, she was scared that she _would_ find out the truth about her mother's family, and right now, she was just enjoying the moment of being on an adventurer. The adventure would get cut short if she _actually_ found what she was looking for, and maybe she didn't even _want_ to know just _yet_. For now, it was just her father's photo albums, which were just the same ones she look through a thousand times with him.

There was nothing new about them. Her mother was always the stoic, unsmiling Titan among the group, while her father would take non-stop photos of her, even after he was beaten up by her energy. Raven was just a younger version of herself, and slightly skinny, since she was carrying a baby now. Her father was a lot skinnier then he was now, since he either had muscles or the occasional beer gut now and then.

There were the photo's that Garfield had taken when they became an official couple, even the times when they broke up, over and over again. Some of the photo's had been ripped apart, but were later taped back together again. Lydia didn't understand why her father had kept pictures that were falling apart. There was one picture of them together, randomly taken at some point when they were first going out, that was ripped down the middle. She swore she had this photo before, but never up this close. Lydia flipped it over, to find out what year it was taken, and noticed her father had written down something in blue ink on the back.

" 'Fo…..fo…'" She said, stuttering as she was trying to pronounce the words. She understood the second word, which was 'her', but had a hard time trying to decoy the first word. It was also in Garfield's sloppy handwriting, so she couldn't even make out some of the letters in the first word.

"Lydia?" A voice had called out from the other side of the wall. She widen her eyes, realizing it was her Daddy, trying to search for her, and was trying to put all the photo albums back on the bottom of the book shelf. However, Garfield had already opened the door and saw the mess his daughter had made. "Lydia, what are you doing?" He asked, being amused by his daughter's antics rather than accusing her of some sort of wrong doing.

"Daddy, what does this say?" She asked him, lifting up the taped photo up in the air. Garfield forgot initially why he came in there and started to walked over to her and sat down, knowing that particular picture all too well. Ah, the memories.

"It says 'Forgive her.'" He said, looking at his writing and smiling as he was remembering the time he wrote it.

"Why does it say that? Did Mama do something bad?" Lydia asked, without giving Garfield time to answer her first question.

"It's a reminder." He said, looking up to her. "From the first time she broke up with me. I was devastated and so I ripped up a bunch of pictures I took of her, like this one, (_Pointing to the picture_) as well as destroying any gifts she had given me." He looked back down at the picture, running his finger through the cut down the middle. "Later, I understood _why_ she broke up with me, and she agreed to get back together. I also realized then that maybe she would _keep_ breaking up with me for years to come, so I wrote down, 'Forgive her', on this picture, so that way, I could remember _why_ she would keep breaking up with me. And to forgive her each time she did so."

Lydia was confused. How could he know that her mother would keep breaking up with him? "Why—?"

"—It was because of her powers. She was afraid to feel love for me, or even happiness and affection. It would take her a couple of weeks or so for her to realized, or for me to inform her, that she was much happier with someone then being by herself. It wasn't that she was jus rejecting me, she was just rejecting her feelings, and was afraid to feel them, so she tried her best to push me away when she did break up." He said, putting the picture back in its rightful place in the photo album. "I learned to be patient back then. Each time, I knew she was going to try and make me hate her, anytime she broke up with me, but I wrote 'Forgive her', so I could remember that she wasn't doing it to be a bad person, she was just trying to make it easier for _her_ to break up with _me_. And make it easier for me as well."

"When did Mama stop breaking up with you?" She asked.

"When I went away on a mission for a very long time." He said, smiling as he remembered the conversations he had with the team while he was with the Doom Patrol, and Raven was losing control over her powers while he was gone. "They all thought it was her fath—I mean that it was just her, losing focus, but a part of her had missed _me_, and didn't feel safe without _me_ by her side. And that's when Mama finally admitted her love for me."

"And then you teased Mama about getting married, and then you did—" Lydia said, continuing the story.

"—That's right, you know the rest all well. But I came in here to tell you it's lunch time. What were you doing in here anyway, going through my albums?" He asked.

"I just wanted to look at the pictures." She said, giving him half the truth. "Is there any pictures of Grandpa?"

"I'm afraid not, Lydia. I told you, my parents died when I was really young. So, I only know them from my memory." He said, lowering his ears as he put the albums back in their place on the book shelf.

"No, I don't mean Grandpa Logan…" She said softly and slowly, Garfield's heart skipped a beat. She looked down at the floor as she said, "I mean my other Grandpa…..Mama's father—"

"—I thought I told you this before, Lydia." He said, sighing afterwards. He lowered his head, leaning forward as put his hands over his head, trying to control his tone. "I told you never to mention him."

"But why?" Lydia asked. His reaction started to scare her.

"He's a bad man. A _really_ bad man, Lydia." He said, trying to hide the anger in his voice as he was still talking to his daughter. His eyes were close and he was trying to keep his face hidden from his daughter so he wouldn't frighten her. "He's hurt your Mama and I, in so many ways that when he finally _did_ die, nobody cried for him." He lifted his head up to look into her eyes. "In fact, we were _glad_ he was dead, so he couldn't hurt us anymore. _He's_ the reason why your Mama kept breaking up with me."

"But I thought you said it was because she had powers and couldn't feel?" She said, crawling over to where her father was sitting. She put her hands on his knee, trying to get his attention. She was uncovering a piece of the puzzle, finding out about her grandfather, but it wasn't something her father liked to talk about it. And even though his reaction _should_ have been a warning to her, she still wanted to know more.

Garfield carefully raised his head and saw his daughter leaning on him. Her expression worried him. Should he tell her? Well, not tell her the _complete_ truth since she is _still_ a child, but some type of explanation. He couldn't tell her anything now, not without Raven's consent first, since they made these types of big decisions together.

"Yes, yes," He said, holding onto Lydia's hands to calm his nerves. Sometimes the thought or memory of Trigon was more devastating to _him_ rather than to Raven. "It's a little complicated. Yes, your Mama didn't want to feel love for me. But your grandpa was also the reason. Someday, I'll tell you the whole story. But not today."

"Why not?" She asked. He swallowed some salvia.

"It's…..it's a long story, and I don't know if you are ready to hear it yet…..maybe when you're a little older….but not today….." He said, looking sorrowfully into her eyes.

"But Daddy—"

"…Lydia…please…." She looked again at his somber expression and decided not to say anymore. "Someday….but not today….."

"Okay, Daddy." She said, looking down. He stood up from his spot. He sighed heavily before he picked her up, with her resting her head on his shoulder.

"Come on," He said. "Lunch is ready, and Mama is waiting."

SEE YA GUYS.


	35. Choosing Priorities

OKAY, WORK IS LETTING GO OF SOME OF MY HOURS, SO I HAVE MORE TIME TO WRITE. MY GOD, I HATE THE HOLIDAYS. WELL, HATE IS A STRONG WORD, AND MAY IMPLIED THAT I HATE CHRISTMAS OR WHATEVER. OKAY, HOW 'BOUT DISLIKE.

I _DISLIKE_ WORKING SO MUCH DURING THE HOLIDAYS. I _DISLIKE_ RUDE GUEST WHO INSIST ON HAVING IT THEIR WAY AND NOT RECOGNIZING THAT THERE ARE LAWS AND POLICY WE HAVE TO DO TO ENSURE PUBLIC SAFETY AND BEING FAIR TO EVERYBODY ELSE. I _DISLIKE_ THE FACT THAT ON CHRISTMAS EVE, WHEN I WAS ONLY THERE TO HELP CLOSE, THERE WERE _STILL_ PEOPLE COMING IN, JUST _SHOPPING AND BROWSING_, AND NOT REALLY GETTING SOMETHING AT THE LAST MINUTE, AN HOUR BEFORE THE STORE CLOSED.

SO, THE MORAL OF THE STORY, I HAVE MORE FREE TIME, AND BE NICE TO PEOPLE WHO WORK RETAIL DURING THE HOLIDAYS. WE DON'T GET, WHAT YOU CALL, A 'BIG BONUS'.

Garfield had manage to keep Lydia's little interest quiet for the rest of the day, up until he was lying by Raven's side that night. She was reading her new philosophical book that she had purchased a few days ago, as Garfield laid his head next to her stomach, gently hugging it while he talked sweet nonsense to her belly button. She allowed him to tug her tightly as she was trying to read, it was something that seemed to comfort him when he had a long day. And trying to keep her pregnancy a secret from just _one_ Titan was actually harder to keep then if nobody knew about it, because at least he can trust himself and Rae to actually keep the excitement down.

Who knew an over-the-top half-robot and an extremely emotional alien would _not_ be the best people in the world to trust a secret with? He also had the media to worry about, if they _somehow_ found out about it. They _always_ thought Starfire was pregnant whenever she would gain two pounds while she was out in public. Some days, Garfield just wanted to say it straight to Robin when they were alone, but then he would chicken out the last moment.

For now, he was lying on Rae's stomach, relying on her soft skin and their unborn child to calm him down from a long day. Oh, and then there was Lydia wanting to know about her mother's father, Trigon. Yeah, can't forget about _that_.

Needless to say, it was a long day for him.

"So, then after a few months—after I got back from the Doom Patrol and after your Mama finally admitted that she _loved_ _me_, I popped the question for the first time," He said softly, while rubbing Raven's stomach. "And she said, 'You know I can't marry you, Beast Boy, you know I am going to say no'—"

"—Well you did." Raven interrupted quietly from behind her book. "And I was calling you 'Garfield' by then in private. I only called you 'Beast Boy' in the presence of the team." She flipped a page.

"Shhh—I'm telling the story." He told her.

"Well, then tell it right."

He ignored her and went back to whispering to her stomach. She scoffed. "Anyway, like I was saying, she said that I already knew she was going to say 'no', and all that—_but_ I still asked her. And she had a _sparkle_ in her eye that told me she _wanted_ to say 'yes'—"

"—It wasn't a sparkle, I was just sad that you had continued to ask even though I already told you 'no'—"

"—It _was_ a sparkle; don't try and deny it." He said slyly. She once again scoffed at his comment. "And I had already known about the reason before I asked her anything." He told the stomach before he paused, remembering what Lydia had asked him that day as it had related to his little story. Raven didn't believe in marriage because she was the daughter of Trigon, and she didn't think she could get married anyway even when she did start to believe in it.

'Mama's father', as Lydia had said. Huh, the word 'father' didn't seem right when Garfield was thinking about Trigon. He was the person—no, the demonical _being_—that biologically forced a woman to conceived Raven into this world, but he wasn't by any means a 'father'. He wasn't even a person of his own right. He lost that right a long time ago.

Raven had noticed his long pause as he was contemplating Lydia's sudden interest in Raven's family. Maybe it was because he had always talked about his own family that Lydia began to ask questions why she wasn't told her mother's family.

"Garfield?" Raven asked, breaking his train of thought, as she put her book down by her side. She couldn't see his face, but his lowered ears indicated that he was getting upset when just a moment before he was romanticizing a story about the first time he proposed. "What's wrong?" He didn't say anything. "Okay, if it makes you feel better, it _was_ a sparkle then; you don't have to get all upset now. I married you, didn't I?"

"No, it's not that." He said, breaking his silence as he looked down at her hidden baby bump. He clung onto her pajama's that was near him.

"Garfield?" She startled, as he gripped on her shirt. She noticed that he was showing the early signs he had when he had his heart attack, which wasn't _that_ long ago. She held out her hand and gently unleashed her powers on her husband, allowing him to retain some sense of peace, at least for a few moments.

He looked up at her and gave her a small grin, but it quickly faded and sat up on the bed, staring down at her. "Lydia has been asking about your father, _Trigon_." He finally said. She lifted her head up and widened her eyes. After her initial shock, she sat up from the bed and, since she didn't want to look at him, she looked down at their purple sheets, hoping he wasn't looking at her anymore. "Yeah." He said, acknowledging the unwanted truth and the uncomfortable situation that it gave them.

They both sat on the bed, with her looking down at the sheets, and him looking at her for a while before either of them even tried to make a sound. Raven, for the longest time, had resisted from reading his mind during the silence, because she knew he would just repeat in his head whatever Lydia had asked. But finally, after the first few minutes of silence past by them, she entered his mind. She was actually more disturbed by what Garfield had _thought_ about the situation then what Lydia had _said_.

"So, Lydia….wants to know…why Trigon is not mentioned by either of us?" She asked, trying to understand everything that had taken place between Lydia and him.

"She just wants to know about Trigon in general." He said, looking down just as she looked up to him. "You know, why do we talk about my family in length, but never mention _him_ or barely talk about _your_ childhood? She's just curious."

"I…..I guess it's only natural." She said as she firmly laid her hand on her stomach, as if she was protecting the unborn child from this discussion. "How long do you think we…..we can keep it a secret?" She looked down at her bump and began to rub it.

"Keep exactly _what_ a secret?" He asked sadly. "About Trigon being a _Demon_ from a different world? About Trigon…._forcing_ your mother to have you?" He was beginning to get angry and his hand formed a fist, shaking it as he talked. "About your mother hiding in another dimension so Trigon couldn't find _her_? Or _you_? About him almost destroying the Earth and the _possibly_ that he _could_ have raped—?"

"—_Okay_, forget I asked." She interrupted. She hated when he would get all worked up over Trigon. While their little sessions they used to have had helped her, it also had corrupted Garfield with images and ideas that she never wanted him to know about. But since he wanted to know her pain, she shared every little gritty detail about her life.

He looked up at her and felt guilty about the tone he gave her. It wasn't her fault for the awful things her father did. In fact, he was partially mad because Trigon had hurt her so much and it had caused emotional—which she had tried to suppress—as well as psychological damage to her for years. And _one_ of those damages had affected their relationship for the longest time. All those wasted times when they were 'off' again, or those long discussions they had to have when they were 'on' again. Too much time was spent on worry about the consequences when they hadn't even _done_ any action yet, both literal and metaphorically.

But he had forgotten himself for a second and used the rage he had with Trigon toward Raven instead. He crawled over to her slowly, as if she was a shy animal out in the woods and he didn't want to startle her if she noticed him. When he was close enough, he laid his head on her shoulder as he joined in with rubbing her stomach.

"I'm sorry." He whispered as he put his other arm around her shoulder. After a few more minutes went by, he gently kissed the top of her shoulder, keeping his eyes open as he looked at her cheeks slowly coloring. She didn't smile, but she allowed him to continue to kiss the top of her shoulder, before she turned her head around. He lifted his head up and gazed into her eyes.

"I have hoped that this day would never come." She said quietly.

"She's too young." He protested, reaching out for her hand that was placed on her belly. "And you have other priorities right now. I don't want you to be stressing out over this."

"I don't want you too either." She said, eyeing his left part of his chest where his heart laid. "But I am afraid she's a little _too_ curious for her own good. If we don't tell her something, she will continue to explore for an answer and might stumble across something even _more_ disturbing."

"There's something _more_ disturbing then Trigon?" He asked, unsure if he wanted to know what she meant by that statement.

"No, but I have books on witchcraft, the history of Azarath, Earth, and etcetera. I'm afraid she _will_ find something that will be just as unpleasant as explaining to her who Trigon is." She said.

"Can't we just get rid of that stuff?" He asked. She stared up at him with disgust, her eyes glaring into his, as if he had just said some sort of insult.

"Those are my _books_ though." She argued in a provoked monotone. He had desperately wished he hadn't said anything, because he forgot how much her books meant to her.

"Well, I don't mean exactly get rid of them, but just hide them, so Lydia can't find them." He said, defensively. She softened her expression. She knew he originally just meant to get rid of them in their room, but not out of her life. However, in a moment, she just imagined all of her books _gone_, and she felt empty when she envisioned it in her head.

"Don't mind me," She said, giving him a small smile, which allowed him to feel better. "It's just the hormones."

He shouldn't have, but when it seemed like everything was okay, he joked, "Oh, _surrre_. It's the '_hormones'_, as if you've _never_ been moody in your life."

All she could reply was, "Shut up."

After a week, it was decided that Raven's books, at least the ones that might contain questionable material for a five-year old to learn, was either put on the higher shelves or hidden in the chest drawer that required a key to unlock. And _that_ key was hidden on the top shelve, tapped down.

Garfield continued to tell Lydia that one day she would know the truth, or be told the whole story, but for now they should both focus on the new baby instead. Lydia wanted to complained, but kept quiet during certain times throughout the day when _others_ were around.

* * *

One day, just at the start of Raven's third month, the team had come home from a rather unusual short day, with Robin giving a quick briefing about the certain criminals that were being released from jail the next week, and to be on the lookout. The stay-at-home Titans and their children were in the kitchen while the others were in the living room.

"…and so remember, _any_ of them could do something this week, so don't plan for long trips any time soon." Robin concluded. Cyborg and Raven were just sitting on the couch, vaguely interested in anything that Robin was saying as Robin was not exactly the most entertaining person to give a lecture.

"Are we done?" Cyborg asked. Robin sighed, knowing that his team had barely listened to half his speech, but he knew they understood what he was saying; watch out for bad guys, because they have been release from jail. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

"Fine. But Raven," He said, looking down at her. "I need to speak with you privately." Garfield wasn't really listening to Robin's lecture, but he could barely hear him in the background. However, as soon as Robin said Raven's name, his ears raised up as if it was a reflex.

She was escorted to the hallway, closing the door behind him. She didn't know what he wanted to talk to her about. She was afraid of even thinking about what it was, for it could trigger her powers. Robin seemed somewhat embarrass to even be out here with her alone, bringing up a topic he did not wish to bring up. He fidget as he stood before he spoke.

"I hate giving a nutrition lesson to others," He said, avoiding eye contact with her. "But, are you taking proper care of yourself? Because, I've been noticing you haven't been training as often as you used to, and…well, and it shows."

"Excuse me?" She said, folding her arms and raising her eyebrows.

"Please, Raven, I understand why you would be upset. But I just thought I should bring it up because we are getting older each day, and we are not as young as we once thought. You usually are able to stay in shape—and it shows—in battles. You are great in combat, especially when I am down for the count. But lately," He said, trying to look at her without looking into her eyes. "You haven't been as….how should I phrased this…as _active_ in battles as you once were. And I've noticed your diet, which has included a _lot_ of sweets, and so I just wanted to inform you about this problem."

Raven couldn't do anything, but look off to the side and scowled at the floor.

"So, I've gain some weight. I'll work on it." She said as stoic as she could.

"Please, Raven, I really need you back in those combats. Cyborg seems alright to help out a little more, but we should work as a _team_. So, I'll need everybody to be in the best shape. Unless there's something wrong, which is why you have been eating a lot more?" He asked. He caught her off guard and she, out of habit, put her hood up and hid herself behind her cloak. "Are you okay?"

There was a huge paused before she opened her mouth. "There actually is something I need to tell you." She said slowly, looking up to him. "But Garfield needs to be here before I say anything."

"You just can't tell me by _yourself_? You need Beast Boy?" He asked.

"Don't start, Robin. Yes, I need him, because what I am going to tell you involves _him_ as well." She said.

Robin didn't understand; if she had something to say, she didn't need to make a spectacle out of it by requesting her husband by her side. She should be a soldier and just march on, through whatever problem she had, and she should just talk to her leader, not her husband, about it. But he obliged her and went out to get Garfield.

After a while of Raven staring down at the floor, she started listening to what Garfield was thinking about, but she really just wanted some background noise to escape from the world as she waited for both of them.

"Okay, I'm here." Garfield said, making Raven look up to him as Robin walked out from behind him. Garfield's thoughts became louder in her head, and combined that with his green eyes, she felt better about telling Robin.

"Do you know what this is about?" Robin asked, as he closed the door.

When Garfield saw Raven's eyes light up as he had entered the room, he smiled and walked to her side, putting an arm around her as she grabbed his other hand. Robin raised his eyebrow; he thought this was something serious, but the two lovebirds in front of him told him otherwise. So, he had to stand there and ponder, what was going on?

"Yeah, I know what's going on." Garfield said, answering both Robin's external and internal question.

She and Garfield continued to stare into each other's eyes before Raven slowly opened her cloak to proudly display her small baby bump—mistaken by Robin as pure tissue fat. It was a small bump, but she had gain about nine pounds within the last two months, so it did somewhat appear that she was just merely gaining weight. Garfield carefully put his hand on top of the 'tissue fat'. Robin immediately knew what was going on, just as Raven looked down and blushed.

Garfield looked up to Robin, with a huge smile and said, "Raven's pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Robin repeated, almost too shocked to have a strong reaction. "She's just not gaining weight?"

"(_Laughing_) No…..what? What did you think? She was letting herself _go_?" Garfield asked him. "Raven? The most serious and focus person to ever…..focus?" He didn't care how Robin was taking it; he didn't want to keep this a secret anymore. He wanted to shout it out from the rooftops.

"How did this…..?"

"Well, Robin, you see when a man and woman love each other…." Garfield said, but stopped when he remembered that Robin and Starfire couldn't conceive a child together. He then adjusted his story. "….and they both are fertile, _and_ the condom breaks, _and_ all the birth control in the world can't contain one Demonic girl's hormones in check _and_ _then_ she decides to keep it—a baby is made!"

Raven wanted to chuckle at Garfield's explanation to Robin, but she didn't know if was appropriate just yet. She was nervous what Robin's reaction was going to be. She didn't want a fight to break out, but she rather have Garfield make their case known to Robin before he reacted—they were going to have the baby, and Robin better accept it now or later. Or not accept it at all.

Robin raised his eyebrow. "What's with the attitude? You could have just told me."

Garfield looked surprised. "We didn't know how you would take it." Garfield said, allowing his smile to fade. "So, I just wanted to be let it known that I am happy, Mama here (_Patting Raven_) is happy. And in a few weeks time, _I'll_ be taking over her position on the team."

"A few _weeks_?" Robin asked, rather curious as to why Raven was going to take a leave of absence so soon when he just found out.

However, both the Logan's knew why he was curious, and they both looked at each other with that guilty expression in their faces. Robin noticed this change and raised his eyebrow. He didn't know what to feel. At first, he thought he was giving a lecture to Raven about the importance of maintaining a healthy body while training—but then it turned into an announcement on their part, and the surprised of the year for him. After everything they went through with Lydia, they're going to have another _one_?

But for now, he just wanted to know why Raven was leaving the team earlier than expected, and why they both looked like they were guilty of some crime at the current moment. Raven thought that it was her turn to speak. She wasn't blushing anymore, as she turned her head and looked at Robin, with Garfield taking a hold of her hand.

"We have been keeping this a secret longer then you know, Robin," She said, praising Azarath right now that he had a mask on so she wouldn't have to look into his eyes. "I am three months."

"What? You're _already_ three months? How could I have not known?" Robin asked, being more surprised than anything else.

"You _did_ notice. Just before, you said she was fat." Garfield pointed out.

"Robin, we understand if you are upset, but like Garfield said before, this wasn't exactly planned," She said. "And we didn't know how you would take the news."

"And this time, it was _my_ fault on the birth control…..so don't blame Rae." Garfield said, holding onto her hand tighter as he step forward a bit.

"We decided to wait a while, just so the attention on you and Bruce wouldn't fade so soon."

"Which is why she is in her third month now." They couldn't tell yet if Robin was anger, hurt, annoyed, or maybe, on the off chance, he was happy. But they both decided he wasn't going to be the latter just yet. Robin folded his arms.

"So, when do you plan to tell everybody else?" He asked. Again, they both turned to each other to give the look of shame together. "Wait, am _I_ the last person to know?"

"That turned out to be an accident, unfortunately." Garfield said, looking back at Robin. "You see…..remember that fight with the chemicals a while back, in the lab? Yeah, well, _that_ was the reason why Rae was in there for so long. Cyborg found out, before Rae did."

"And Lydia had to know," Raven said quietly. She turned her head again to look at Robin. "So, we were planning on telling you two together, but—"

"Starfire knows?" Robin shouted out.

"Whoa, Robin, settle down. Like I said, it was an accident." Garfield said.

"But—"

"Starfire learned that we had a secret, so she felt betrayed. And since she has been feeling _lonely lately_—if you know what I mean—I felt I had to tell her."

"What do you mean lonely—?" Robin asked, feeling insulted now.

"—You know what I mean! She feels you spend too much time in the city and not enough time at home. She just feels distant from you." Garfield said. Whatever Robin was feeling previously, he now felt sorrow that his wife was making her problems known to her friends. He looked down on the ground, thinking to himself.

"Tell Star I want to see her." He said somberly. Both the Logan's didn't quite know what to do, other than to open the door and call out for her.

"Ah, are we good then?" Garfield asked, as he was afraid to leave Robin just yet.

Robin looked up, but it was obvious his thoughts were on something else. "Look, right now, I have a _different_ problem to deal with. I'm glad you guys told me before she went into labor. I'll talk about this another time, when I have dealt with this matter."

"So, we are dismissed?" Garfield asked, trying to still keep up protocol with certain key phrases. Robin nodded, and then looked off to the side.

"Robin?" Was all the Logan's could hear Starfire say before they went back to the living room, closing the door.

* * *

"I'm assuming ya'll told him?" Cyborg asked them as they walked over to him. He was in the kitchen, watching Lydia draw with her markers, while Cyborg was bouncing Bruce in his arms, trying to get him to fall asleep. "Why do I always get stuck with babysitting?"

"Because you're here and you have a better relationship with the kids then you do with your girlfriends." Garfield said, wishing that he had a camera right now so he could use the picture against Cyborg in the future.

"So, everybody knows now?" Cyborg asked Raven, staring at her.

"Yes. _Now_ the media can report all they want." She said. "Although, by the time it makes the news, some celebrity might have wedding the same day. I mean, they still predict that Starfire will one day become pregnant. They could care less about the empathy of the team."

"Daddy, look at my picture!" Lydia shouted out to Garfield, holding up her images of scribbles and lines. "I drew the Tower and there are birds and there are….."

"I see, Lydia." He said, walking over to the kitchen. "And I can see Uncle Cyborg here has let you play with the markers." He gave a scowl, yet playful, look to Cyborg.

"Hey, I didn't want to be a single parent either, but I was forced too by _others_." Cyborg remarked, looking down at Bruce. "So, did Robin take it well?"

"Uh…..I'm actually not sure." He said, turning his playful stare into a grave expression. "He wanted to talk to Starfire, and then he said he'll talk to us another time."

"What could _they_ be talking about?" Cyborg asked.

"It's none of our business." Raven said, making everybody else in the room aware that she was still there, as she walked over the kitchen. "We have kept a secret from them for a long time and they have time to barely comprehend the idea of having another child in the Tower, let alone us caring for that child with his or her powers. So, we should not be gossiping behind their back, as we are trying to get back on their _good_ side again."

"Robin might not see it that way." Cyborg said, as he continued to bounce Bruce in his arms.

"I agree." Garfield added.

"Well, we don't know that yet. Give Robin a chance." Raven said. "After all, anybody can change their mind when they once firmly stood against something—something they thought they would never do." She ended, looking over to Garfield, and nodding down to her ring. He smiled and reached for her left hand as she merely blushed.

Cyborg was a little confused by her speech and looked over to her. "Rae, I don't get what you mean….." He then saw the Logan's public display of affection, "…..oh, I get it. It's some sort of lovey-dovey thing between you two. _You know_, I take enough lovers' affection from the other two Titans, I don't need you guys to continue that for me. If you guys can't think about _me_, at least think about the children." He looked over to Lydia, who was amused by her parents' reactions to each other.

Needless to say, Cyborg was the odd man out over this issue.

* * *

The Logan's, except for the youngest as she was in bed, stayed up late in the living room, expecting any minute for their leader to walk into the room. Garfield was able to get some hours on the Gamestation, leaning on the coffee table while he sat on the floor. Raven was reading a fantasy book while comfortably sitting in the middle of the couch. They waited up all night, until Raven thought it was time to call it quits.

The next day, neither Starfire nor Robin were present for the big breakfast that Cyborg had made, hoping that the extra pancakes and beacon would ease all the tension in the Tower. Cyborg had told the Logan's that he had put Bruce back in Star and Robin's room the other night, but he could only hear them arguing in the back and so he quietly walked out of the room without announcing Bruce's arrival.

After a few hours had passed, with all the other Titan's taking turns to knock on their door to see if _at least_ Bruce was alright, there still wasn't a response from the room, or their communicators.

"I thought it was a _rule_ that we must keep our communicator's on at all times." Garfield said, as he put down the device, failing once again to contact them, as he and Lydia were playing with Lego's on the floor of the living room. He looked up to Raven, who was reading on the couch, occasionally stroking her stomach as she did so.

"He's the leader. Sometimes he just makes up rules just for himself." She said, turning a page. "Although, just yesterday he said to keep an open week."

"Are you sorry we told—at least at a time when we weren't ready?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't put her book down and look somber at him, but she did it despite his wishful thinking.

"It's not like I had a choice. It was either to tell him or continued to lie and admit that this was fat instead of something _more_." She remarked.

"It was the right thing to do, Rae. It may not seem like a choice, but once again, Robin likes to butt into our affairs, and he thought you weren't taking proper care of yourself. Cheer up, it will get better." He said, trying to fake a smile on his face so that maybe she could do the same.

She humored him and smiled back, although she knew it was going to be a while before she could smile sincerely.

PARTING WORDS: BE NICE TO RETAILORS _ALL YEAR ROUND_. WE DON'T NEED HOLIDAYS TO REMEMBER TO BE NICE TO OTHER PEOPLE, BUT THE HOLIDAY THAT IS _SUPPOSED_ TO BE ABOUT BEING GOOD AND MERRY WITH OTHERS HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE WHERE EVERYBODY IS NASTY TO EACH OTHER IN THE SHOPPING MALLS. I DIDN'T HAVE A BAD HOLIDAY, IT WAS JUST WORKING BEFORE AND AFTER SUCKED.


	36. Chapter 31 Lied

GOSH, I DON'T WHERE TO BEGIN. WELL, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, SOON IT'S GOING TO BE THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF WHEN I PUBLISHED THE STORY. HOWEVER, I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS NOW, TAKING MY TIME TO DEVELOP IT BEFORE I UNLEASHED IT ON THE INTERWEBS. SO, I GUESS I SHOULD PROPERLY THANK YOU, WHETHER YOU'VE BEEN HERE FOR THE WHOLE YEAR, OR JUST RECENTLY STARTED READING IT, THANK YOU.

AND THOSE WHO HAVE ASKED WHEN EXACTLY WILL I STOP, I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY WHEN I THINK I AM FINISHED. IT BEGAN WITH A SIMPLE EXERCISE ABOUT TRYING TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH THE IDEA OF SEX JUST BY WRITING ABOUT IT WITH MY FAVORITE COUPLE, AND _REALLY_ WRITING ABOUT IT, NOT JUST IMPLYING IT, BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE RAVEN FEELS THE SAME WAY I DO SOMETIMES ABOUT SEX. I HAVE ASPERGERS, SO I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL EVER WANT TO BE TOUCHED BY ANOTHER PERSON, MAN OR WOMAN. (IT HAS BEEN WORKING, I RECENTLY SAW A SEX SCENE IN MY FILM CLASS, AND WHILE I LOOKED AWAY, I DIDN'T PLUG MY EARS, AS I USUALLY DO, I JUST PRETENDED IT WAS RAE AND BB)

THE STORY IS MAINLY DRIVEN BY CHARACTER MOTIVATION. IF RAVEN WAS PREGNANT, HOW WOULD SHE REACT? HOW WOULD THE TEAM REACT? HOW CAN SHE BE A PARENT WHEN HER OWN MOTHER WASN'T MUCH OF A MOTHER? ETC, ETC. I HAVE READ MANY BOOKS, MAINLY CLASSICS, SINCE I STARTED, SO I BORROWED SOME OF THE WRITING STYLES AND SENTENCE STRUCTURES THAT I FOUND IN THE BOOKS. HOPEFULLY SOMETHING STUCK.

BUT REALLY, THE MAIN THING IS, I WAS DEPRESSED AFTER HIGHSCHOOL, ONLY BECAUSE I DID NOTHING BUT WORKED. AND WHEN I DID GO TO SCHOOL AND HAD FUN WITH WHAT I LEARNED, IT WAS SHORT LIVED BY LONG HOURS OF WORK AND NO CREATIVE OUTLET. SO THIS STORY IS MY CREATIVE OUTLET, TO UNLEASH WHAT LITTLE SANITY I HAVE LEFT. OR _IN_SANITY…I FORGET WHICH.

BUT ON TO THE MAIN EVENT….

Garfield was still playing on the Gamestation, while Raven was just finishing her book that she had started just yesterday, when Starfire finally made an entrance to the main living room, making her way to the kitchen. She was wearing a pink silk Japanese robe that went down to her knees, the very robe that Robin given to her on their honeymoon in Tokyo many years ago. It was rather rare for any of the other Titans to see her in _that_ particular robe, and Garfield, Raven and Cyborg watched as Starfire walked to the refrigerator.

Starfire had been in a gloomy state for the past few weeks and _now_ all of sudden she was her usual joyful self. Her hair was strangely unkempt—considering she usually combed her hair a hundred times a day—her face was glowing and she seemed to be humming a tune to herself, not aware or caring about anybody else's presence in the room.

"Uh…" Cyborg said, who was sitting at the kitchen table eating an early dinner as he was clutching a communicator in his hand. "Star? Are you okay?" She didn't seem to hear him and continued to make her way towards the fridge, looking into the appliance to see what it had to offer her to eat. "Uh…Starfire?"

"Hmm?" She asked, looking up to Cyborg as she seemed to be waking up from her dreamy state. It was as if nothing had happened yesterday, and she looked at him as if he was asking her a simple question, and not one of a concern friend.

"Are you okay?" He asked, holding up the communicator. "Because we have been trying to contact you guys; we've been knocking on your door all day and using the communicator—"

"—Oh, sorry about that!" She said, blushing before she went back into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of milk. "You see, I threw out his communicator in a fit of rage yesterday from the rooftop—"

"—What?—"

"—Yes, I know. But we can always get a new one, as I told him." She said cheerfully. She continued to search for a few more items from the fridge, keeping her face conceal from the others.

"Uh…..you want to tell us what happened?" Garfield asked from across the room. "We've all been quite curious as we were afraid—"

"—Well, Robin was angry and embarrassed that I was talking about him behind his back—you know, about him hanging out in the city so much, even though I was well within my right—well, (_giggling_) I guess it doesn't matter anymore. It was just a small disagreement, it's in the past now!" She exclaimed. She finally was done and closed the fridge. In her arms was a bottle for Bruce, a plate of leftover chicken, a bowl of jello, a bowl of strawberries, and whip cream. How she managed to juggle all of those items with her just two hands and arms, they will never know. They didn't even want to even know if the whip cream was for the _food_.

"So, what happened then? I mean….." Raven started.

"It's okay, friend Raven. It's okay." She reassured her. "We argued for a while, and then all of a sudden we heard Bruce crying….and that just seemed to stop the arguing. And then after a while when we were attending to Bruce, Robin started to apologize about….well he apologized for a _lot_ of things…and then I apologized for a lot of things…..and he was sweet again…and then one thing lead to another—"

"—Oh, I don't need to hear this!" Cyborg interrupted her, as he knew what she was alluding too.

"(_Giggling_) No, friend Cyborg. I meant that one thing lead to another and before I knew it, Bruce said his first word!"

"I thought he had already said his first word?" Garfield asked. Starfire got overexcited about everything when it came to Bruce, so since she had made such a spectacle about the first time he said 'Ma', Garfield didn't have a clue what she was talking about now.

"Well, yes, he had said 'Mama' and 'Dada', but this was his first _actual_ word, not just baby babble!" She corrected him.

" 'Mama' and 'Dada' _are_ actual words. I should _know_; Raven gave me a dictionary for my birthday many years ago. I actually _do_ read sometimes." He corrected her, looking over to his grey companion. Raven blushed, but suppressed the urge to smile.

"And that's as far as you gotten? Baby language?" Cyborg asked him in jest, ruining the tender moment. Garfield just sneered at him and Cyborg laughed at his reaction. He turned back to Starfire. "So, what was this first 'actual' word?"

"Blorkin!" She shouted. All three Titans looked at each other in bewilderment, they all _knew_ what she _meant_, it was a Tamaranean word, they knew Starfire by _now_, but the way she phrased her previous statement just made them all wanted to smack their hands to their face, but they didn't.

"You _mean_ a Tamaranean word, right?" Cyborg corrected her, trying to compose himself from laughing out loud.

"Well, of course. 'Blorkin' is not a common word for young ones to say. Anyone can start saying 'Mama' and 'Dada'." She said, not aware that she had said anything funny at all. "'Blorkin' means 'young one'. I've been saying it to him for many months now, and he's finally picked it up!"

"So, you and Robin are alright then?" Raven asked.

"Well," Starfire said, as her cheeks began to color and she looked over to the side. "Then Bruce went to sleep, and….well Robin can be the most romantic person behind closed doors—"

"—Okay, Star! We got it! You don't need to paint a picture for me!" Cyborg interrupted her. She giggled again.

"Robin just wanted something to eat…but I guess I should say to you friends,—what is that saying—'do not do the waiting up'?" She said.

"Yes, that…that is the saying." Cyborg said, annoyed that Starfire was still giving him more information then he needed to know. She started to make her way to the hallway door.

"Star….wait!" Garfield said, interrupting her journey to the door. He ran up to her. "Uh, do you know if Robin is okay with Raven and the baby and….everything?"

She lowered her eyes and her smile faded. "We were able to discuss many things last night, unfortunately, that topic did not come up. I do not know. I will ask him though, for he is now open to _suggestions_ right now, and asking—."

"—Oh my God, just go Star! I don't need to know anymore! I know too much now!" Cyborg shouted out, as he was afraid he would start picturing her night with Robin if she didn't get out soon. And he did not need that mental image of Robin in a pair of boxers in his head. Oh, wait, _too late_, it was in his head _now_.

She made her way out, with Cyborg now realizing that she wasn't even wearing a bra underneath her robe the more he thought about it. And _that_ mental image scarred him even more. All he could do was shivered every couple of minutes and spit out his tongue as if he had just eaten some sort Tamaranean fruit. Raven and Garfield looked at each other, unsure of what to think about the situation. Hopefully, Starfire could _keep_ Robin this happy for another six months.

Hopefully.

* * *

The growing infant inside of Raven didn't give her too much trouble, that is to say, it didn't bother her as much as she _thought_ it would be by this point. She still hated the smell and taste of pork, but she was still lucky enough to fit into her old leotard that had stretch out all its elastic. She was glad she had kept it, even though it was basically pointless to have it around _before_ she was pregnant. She had noticeably gained ten pounds around her stomach, but sometimes she still felt more comfortable in her uniform then in regular clothes. Her chest had swelled up, and even though Garfield was a self-proclaim 'leg man', he was easily able to cope with this new body change.

However, there were a few drawbacks. She didn't have as much energy as she usually had, she couldn't be in battles as much as she would liked to be in, she couldn't sense the 'power' of this child as she could with Lydia—making her fear that the child wasn't getting the proper nutrition and that it could possibly be born prematurely, and then there were the pregnancy nightmares.

Oh boy, were there pregnancy nightmares.

It is acknowledge among many societies that when a woman is with child, nightmares are inevitable during the course of her pregnancy. It is an accepted fact that the stress on a pregnancy can cause a woman to have her dreams to be her most haunted fears. Fears, which she either is aware of or is hidden away. Raven was not an exception to that rule. She was not new to nightmares, as she was part human and her nightmares were sometimes the result of her pure emotions that were suppressed from that day. She was usually able to get over them by meditation or any comfort Garfield could give her, however, these nightmares were starting to become similar to the nightmares she had about Trigon.

At first the nightmares were just about her, lounging in her room, when all of sudden her bedroom explodes with flames around her bed and Trigon walks through the door in his human form. Trigon's human form was of a man, about six feet tall, with a peach complexion and several scars around his face and body. He had long white hair that went down to his shoulder, and two unnatural golden eyes, with two hidden eyes above them, disguised as black eyebrows. He only wore a white loincloth, and as soon as Raven saw him, she destroyed him with her powers.

And then she woke up.

However, with each passing night, Trigon was able to get closer and closer to her bed, just before she would wipe him out with her black energy. She didn't think she should tell Garfield about these dreams, for that's all they were, just dreams, and even though in the past her dreams had caused her a lot of distress, he had told her it was over now.

It was _all_ over.

In fact, their child was conceived on the day she felt peace at last. Would it have all been for nothing? Their sessions were _over_.

So, why would she bring up these silly little dreams that _happened_ to have Trigon in them, but they led to her killing him in the end? There wasn't a need to mention _any_ of this to Garfield, because he was _happy_, and why should she disrupt his happiness for what could essentially be nothing?

She shouldn't, that's what. He was happy and it was just a nightmare made up by the stress that she was having throughout the day. That's all.

Her belly was starting to swell up fast, and she believed that Robin was actually starting to come around to the idea of her having another child. She didn't want to ruin the moment by mentioning this little tidbit of hers at night to her husband.

However, despite her and Garfield's reasoning, it _wasn't_ over. One should never believe something is _officially_ over. One should always think it's _somewhat_ over, but _accept_ its lasting effect for the future. Especially since a certain _child_ keeps asking about that _certain_ something that the parents would just soon like to forget, and so because of that, it's _never_ over.

And because Lydia would at times ask Raven, when they were alone, about what Raven's father was like, why was he a bad guy, why did he run out on her mother, these questions were plaguing Raven's mind at night.

* * *

Raven and Garfield were tucking Lydia in one night, just before her mother's fourth month came around, when Lydia asked why neither of her parents liked to talk about Rae's father.

"Lydia! What did I say about that subject?" Garfield said in an alarming tone. Raven was sitting on her bedside and just look down at the sheets, avoiding Lydia's eyes, as Garfield folded his arms. "Lydia, I told you again and again—"

"—I know, 'don't talk about Mama's father'. I know." Lydia admitted in a guilty voice. "_But_….I just want to know _why_?"

He pointed to Raven. "Does Mama look particularly happy?"

"No." Lydia said quietly, looking at her mother's emotionless face.

"That's _why_!" Garfield yelled. "He wasn't a nice man, and we rather not talk about him. It _upsets_ your Mama. So, don't bring it up anymore!"

"But—" Lydia protested.

"_Lydia_, I am this close (_Almost_ _pushing with his index finger and thumb together to show a small space_) to giving you a spanking—do you want that?" He snapped at her.

"No!" She shouted out, causing one of her stuffed animals to fly up across her room. Her eyes widened as her father showed his right hand was ready to give her a physical punishment. "You've never's spanked me!"

"_Exactly_, usually you are a good girl. But if you _keep_ asking about your Mama's family, without us giving you permission, I am not afraid to start. So, are you going to stop?" He asked, as he was determine to have Raven be at peace once again. There would be peace in his family, dammit!

"I will, Daddy." Lydia said in a defeated tone. It was very rare to see her father truly mad at her, and she didn't like the feeling. Whatever her grandfather had done to the family, clearly it wasn't worth asking about anymore, for she was losing the love of her _own_ father. Garfield saw the distress in her eyes, and kneeled down to her side.

"I'm sorry if I sound harsh." He said, after a few moments past by. She didn't want to look at him. "Someday, you'll understand why we don't want to bring him up. Someday. But not today. Please, Lydia, please understand that I don't want to spank you just as much as you don't want to be spanked, but you won't stop asking. This was your final warning. Lydia?"

She turned to the other side, to look out her window. She didn't like acting out, but she was curious and her parents usually would indulged in her curiosity. If it would upset her mother, why didn't her mother just leave the room? The arguments didn't make sense to her and she wasn't satisfied. Despite Lydia's movement away from her father, Garfield still felt obliged to kiss her on the cheek and quietly escorted Raven out of the room. He looked back, seeing only Lydia's dark violet hair, before he closed the door.

* * *

"She's got to understand that when we say 'no', we mean it." He reasoned with Raven in their bedroom. She was about to fall asleep herself, in her loose purple nightgown when Garfield noticed the same distress in her eyes just as Lydia had. He was shirtless, so it was easy for Raven to be comforted by him at the moment.

"I know, it's just that she has your curiosity, and _you_ would not stop when _I_ would say 'No, Beast Boy, I'm not telling you that', back in the old days." Raven said.

"But that was different." He said. She looked at him unconvinced and raised her eyebrow. "Okay, it _wasn't_—but can you blame me? You were the mystery girl on the team, walking around in a leotard. It was hard _not_ to ask questions."

"Hmm. She is _your_ daughter alright." She said as she lowered her head on the pillow. He turned off the lights and cuddled up to her, wrapping his arms around her stomach, while she had her back to him, as they both began to fall asleep. Once again, she began to have that same damn dream.

But that night, it was different.

She tossed and turned throughout the night, until around one in the morning, when she pulled the blankets towards her. She then rolled so far off the edge that she fell from the bed, hitting her head on the floor and waking up, unsure of where she was at the current moment. She clung onto the blanket that was in her hand, trying to suppress the urge to cry. Garfield woke up when he heard Raven hit the floor with a loud thud.

"Rae?" He asked slowly as he was still waking up himself. He turned on the lights, with his eyes dreading the sudden brightness in the room. He saw the blankets were no longer within his reach, and they began to fall off the side of the bed. "Rae? (_Yawns_) Are you alright?"

She didn't respond, but he could hear her whimper. He crawled over to her side of the bed and look down, and he saw his wife in the fetal position, keeping her eyes shut, as there were tears developing. He jumped down from the bed, and gently tried to pick her up.

"No, no!" She protested as he tried to touch her. She clutched the blankets tighter to her side.

"Rae, what's going on? It's _me_!" He said, becoming frantic. She opened her eyes and was relieved when she looked up and she saw her green companion. She uncurled herself from her fetal position and hugged him tightly, as if her life depended on it, as she continued to hide her tears. "Rae, Rae…did you have a bad dream?"

"Garfield, don't ever let me go." She whispered. "Don't let me go, don't let me go…." She just kept repeating. He picked her up, with her still tugging at him and even when he carefully placed her on the bed, she wouldn't let go. "Don't let me go, don't let me go…."

"I won't, Rae, you should know that by now." He said, trying to comfort her. He rubbed and patted her back for a while until he thought it was appropriate to ask what exactly was upsetting her so much.

"It-it wasn't a dream…it was a _nightmare_." She somberly answered his question before he asked.

"One of those pregnancy nightmares, I should think." He said, as he could feel her warm breath on his neck, as she still wouldn't let go of him. "I guess this was a very bad one."

"No-no, it was _horrible_….I-I can still remembered it all. I remembered too much….I remembered…." She said quietly. The word 'remembered' was a strange word for her to use.

He paused for a moment before he squeezed her tightly and sighed before he had enough courage to asked, "What….what was it about?"

She opened her eyes and slowly loosened her grip on his neck, but she still kept a hold on him. She pressed her cheek against his, as she admitted softly in his ear, "It was about Trigon."

Garfield's eyes tightened, his cheeks began to burn, his nose flared up, his heart beat faster, and he held her ever so tightly while all this happened. Before he even asked what it was about, he could already feel his tear ducts flaring up. He closed his eyes.

"Was….was it like the other dreams before?" He hesitantly asked.

"Yes." She answered quietly, holding onto him tighter.

"But this time, your mind has allowed you to remember _more_?"

"_Yes_."

"You know, this wouldn't have happened _if_ Lydia had stop asking—"

"—I've been having similar dreams for a while now." She admitted. She buried her face on his shoulder. She then poured her heart and soul out, telling him the different dreams she had been having within the past few weeks. Then she came back to this particular dream, and she couldn't find her voice to speak about it, just yet.

"I don't want to argue with you, Rae, about you hiding these dreams from me….." He said, as she looked up to him with her agonizing expression.

He took his fingers and wiped the small tears that were escaping from the corners of her eyes. He was expecting at any moment for the room to blow up in a fit of rage. However, it was quiet, for now.

"Are….are you ready to talk about it?" He asked, she once again wrapped her arms around him tightly, keeping her eyes shut, as if she held him tight enough, she would forget everything.

She had fully remembered the dream that Trigon had plagued her mind when she was just sixteen years old. It had been long suppressed many years ago, right after Trigon was killed, but Garfield had tried to bring it all _back_. And he had _nearly_ succeeded, but this time, with her pregnancy and all, her mind was able to remember more thoroughly what that dream _was_. And since so much time had passed, her mind plagued her more of things she was worried about now. It had used her marriage and her heritage against her, and she was offended that her mind was so cruel towards herself, to come up with something so vile.

"I-I…" She stuttered.

"It's okay, Rae, I'm here…..but-but if you don't want to talk about it…."

"It…..it starts in my room….it's on fire." She began softly, as she recited it just like last time. "And I am suffocating from the smoke….and…..and….in the distance I can see his eyes, in his _human_ form…."

She lowered her hands and tried to find his hand. He guided her to his hand and she gripped it tightly as she leaned on his chest and he wrapped his one free arm around her. So far, it sounded like the usual nightmare.

"I was wrong before….it didn't _begin_ in the bed….I was able to get up, and I tried to banish him from the room….but-but…..but…." She recounted, as they both heard heavy objects in the room shifting and lifting up in the air. "He _used_ his powers to-to….make me kneel before him….and he grabbed my face with his _human_ hands…..commenting that I was nothing…..that I was just a worthless portal….and that he had the power over me and I-I-I shouldn't fight it….and just-just to prove it…."

Garfield opened his eyes, seeing their nightstand lifting a few inches off the ground. He held her tighter, to make sure she didn't feel worthless.

"He…. he threw my head to the side and-and said I should be wise…and _please_ him—if-if-if I valued my life….as-as he _opened_ his loincloth…."

"No, no, _no_!" He shouted out in alarm. This caused her to shift her head to the side of his chest and started to cry intensely. Needless to say, their nightstand was shot across the room, thankfully away from the bed, and crashed into their door, leaving a big black mark on its frame. "Shh….shh….it's okay…." He said as he rocked her back and forth, sorry that he had caused her this violent reaction, but somewhat glad that it was out of her system. "I'm sorry….I'm just screaming…..because….because I wasn't there for you back then….and to think he could have been so _close_—"

"—_Please_, Garfield….." She pleaded with him through her tears, as she put her finger on his lips. She looked up to him as her eyes were blaring red and she tried to wipe her nose with her other hand, but it kept on running. "The-the hate you have for my father is _too_ strong…..I-I won't say anymore un-unless you can _promise_ me that y-you will stop…."

"…Stop what?"

"Stop, with-with this _anger_….that's inside you…." She said quietly as she put her hand on his heart, just as she tried to settle down her hard breathing.

"You can't tell me to _stop_ _feeling_ what I feel…..Rae…" He tried to reason with her, but then he remembered to whom he was talking to.

"Garfield, your heart….._please_….." He couldn't say anything, as he allowed the tears to fall. "I-I can _feel_ the anger inside of you….and—"

"—Shh, I understand." He said softly, lifting her chin up so he could look into her eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then picked up the sheets on their bed as he tried to wipe his tears away with a gentle swipe. "I-I understand….but can't _you_ understand why-why I would have this anger?" She allowed a few minutes to pass by, before she was able to replied back.

"I-I don't want to continue….it's too painful for you…" She said, loosening up her grip and looking up into his eyes.

"Rae…." He begged her, as he took a hold of her hands. He didn't know what else to say.

What could he say? She was right about the fact that he was harboring this unhealthy hatred for her father, and even though the hate was justified, that didn't make it easier for his heart or for her own health. He couldn't promise her to let go of the anger, just like with his inner beast, it was something that was always going to be a part of him. Trigon may have helped when he was creating Raven, but she was created in the first place to do Trigon's bidding, as if she was some sort of wild animal needed to be tamed and not an individual with her own rights.

"I-I'm sorry…..I just can't make promises…that I can't keep…." Was all he could muttered out. She closed her eyes and lowered her head, disappointed that he couldn't take the higher road and let his anger go. "I'm sorry…" He said as he wiped another tear away from her face. Her violent crying had stopped, but she was still in a fragile state.

She nodded her head, understanding why he couldn't let go of his anger. She had years of practice of repressing her emotions, why should she demand it of him all of sudden? He held her hand tighter. They sat there in silence for a while.

"Please Rae…." He finally said. He gently kissed her hand, hoping that it she would look up to him. She continued to stare down at the sheets. "I can't promise you I won't get mad, but-but I am only angry because of the love I have for you….please, Rae, its healthy…."

After some time had passed, she swallowed some salvia, before she was able to carry on with her story, but still kept her head down, "I-I managed to escape from his clutches…..and I ran to my bed….hoping I could banish him…but that's when he uses his powers to pin me down on my bed…."

"Oh Rae," He started, but she began to softly cry again. Many of her books that were secured in their shelves and on the floor had shot straight up into the air. She covered her mouth to try and control herself, but it wasn't working. She was breathing heavily. "Oh, Rae, don't…I'm here…..you're no longer dreaming….please…..I won't stop you anymore…." He began to feel his own tears creeping out of his eyes.

She was shaking and he tried to hold her steady, he kept switching from hugging her tightly to just barely touching her, afraid that touching her too much would remind her of Trigon in the dream.

She whispered, "….He used his _hands_….."

"—_No_." He cried out in horror, shocked by this new information.

She looked up into his eyes that were the same as hers. "He said I-I was worthless for not simply giving him or-or-oral…that I _insulted_ his power….so he w-wanted to show how much power he had…so he used his fingers…..and _dug_ inside me…with his _sharp_ nails—"

"—Oh, Raven!" He exclaimed, hugging her tightly once again. They both were quietly crying, allowing their tears to fall, even if it meant the destruction of the Tower. He didn't care anymore. If anything, if she had remembered these dreams without Garfield and without someone to tell, she probably would have blown up the city.

They both could hear the candles crackling as the flames burned wildly and Garfield watched their blanket, lying off to the side, covered in black energy and lifted up from it's place. Garfield grabbed the levitating blanket and pulled it back down. He wrapped the loose blanket around Raven, before he continued to sway her back and forth, repeating comforting words in her ear.

She was able to calm herself down a bit, and allowed Garfield to sooth her. She rested her head on his shoulder, occasionally turning her head to face his neck, and looking up into his eyes. She felt more comforted when she saw Garfield was trying to stop his own crying, glad, yet somewhat heartbroken that he was sharing her pain.

Finally, she lifted up her head and continued, "Since….since….since I have been dreaming this _now_….and he is just a figment of-of my imagination….he-he added that I was only created to do his bidding…and since I _failed_ my mission, I-I was nothing, but a dirty _whore_….." She winced after she said that word, as if it had some power over her.

While at first it seemed like she had cleared up her crying, she then began to whimpered the more she thought about what she had just said, and she once again could feel the small stream of tears running down her face. However, she did it quietly, as she laid her head back on his shoulder.

By now their room had many books crashing into the walls, the blankets were scattered around, loose papers were spinning about, their curtains were dancing in their place and their candles were melting and reshaping itself with its wax. All this was happening, and Garfield tried to keep Raven's head down, so she wouldn't be hit by one of her own books.

"Please, _please_ tell me that is when you woke up." He said softly in her ear, yet he was begging her at the same time. She shook her head and he began allow his tears to fall from his face. "I cannot _image _more."

She looked up to him and saw his tears. She wanted to end right there, but he would know she was holding something back. And even though he wished she didn't dream anymore, that didn't mean he wanted her to hold back on anything.

"And…." She began hesitantly. "And he-he took his hand out…..and _then_ he laid on top of me…and then that's when I rolled over and-and fell from the bed….." She tried to wipe the tears away with the back of her hand before he cradled her back and forth. Their curtains ripped apart, the various things inside of their drawers were unleashed and violently were thrown across the room, and their bed was slightly shaking in its place.

All this was going on, just as Garfield was comforting Raven about the violent dream she had, and had been having before. All he could wish that it was really over this time, indeed. He kept reassuring her that she _wasn't_ worthless, she _wasn't_ a whore, and she _wasn't_ solely created for Trigon, for she was her own person. All this he had wished was over, but he couldn't be certain.

I KNOW I CAN'T WRITE FOREVER, BUT I WILL POST AND WRITE AS LONG AS RAVEN AND BEAST BOY, OR GARFIELD IF YOU PREFER, AND OF COURSE LYDIA, HAVE A STORY TO TELL WITHIN THIS SETTING. RIGHT NOW, I AM FOCUSING ON THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESINATION. AND SCHOOL. HAVE TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL TOO.


	37. The Uneventful Wedding

SORRY FOR THE WAIT, I HAD SCHOOL, THEN WORK, THEN SCHOOL, THEN WORK AGAIN, AND THEN THERE WAS DOWNTON ABBEY, ONCE UPON A TIME, THE REAL HOUSEWIVES…..AND THEN WORK AGAIN. LAST WEEK WAS THE WORST SINCE SOME PEOPLE AT MY DEPARTMENT GOT SICK AND THERE ARE ONLY FIVE OF US WHO WORK FOOD AVENUE, AND WE CAN'T REALLY TRUST OTHERS BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T HAD THE COMPLETE TRAINING…..SO, I DECIDED TO MAKE THIS A LITTLE LONGER, TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME.

For the next month, Raven preferred to take her meals in her room and didn't dare to go outside of the hall unless she was tucking Lydia in or going out to battle. And sometimes she didn't even _want_ to go out to battle—which was unusual of her, but Garfield would then remind her that she did love her work and she was only feeling sorry for herself to be locked up in her room. After all, she should take advantage of the opportunities of fighting now, before the baby will forced her to quit for a while.

The other Titans of course thought that Raven's sudden interest in hiding in her room all day had to do with the new baby and that she was just sleeping. In actuality, she was meditating, rather violently that is, and so occasionally she would end up fixing whenever destruction she had caused. And then she would go back to trying to meditate for a long period of time without disruption. One could argue it was the baby, and the other could plainly argue that it was Trigon, but Garfield thought that it was a combination of both. Sometimes he would try to meditate with her, and sometimes he would leave her alone—giving her the space she always wanted in her teen years.

Robin and Starfire were back in each other's good graces again and were becoming nauseating to be around, especially since the whole Tower was invited to Jinx and Kid Flash's wedding, but that just gave them an excuse for them to be all cutesy to each other. It was a chance for Robin to appear as the original leader of the Titans, even though he wasn't in charge of any other Titan region, and that stroked his ego a little _too_ much, which Starfire took advantage of that. Ew.

Cyborg was invited as well, even though he thought that his invitation was probably more of an afterthought, since he had been dating the bride on and off again throughout the years. He even joked that the card that the Titan's got should have ended with, 'and we reserved a seat in the back for Cyborg, if he _must_ come'. However, despite the cracks he made about the whole event, he was just coping with the rejection he felt, and the misery he was going to feel throughout the whole ordeal.

He had lost Jinx.

She was no longer interested in him and had reserved herself for another. No one could pretend that nothing had happened between them, for that would be destroying a whole section of history for the Titans, and the main reason why she ended up with Kid Flash—who was now simply called Flash by this point— in the first place. Flash was the one who had reminded her again and again that Cyborg wasn't treating her right. And that she should be loved like there was nobody else in the world.

Cyborg didn't like romantic speeches; he preferred to say what was really on his mind and not what he _should_ say. He _did_ really like her, but sometimes he didn't always _say_ it or _show_ it as he should have, and that's where he lost her and she fell into the arms of Flash.

Garfield was glad that there was going to be a wedding in the Titan's family again, it had been years since the last wedding between two Titans—the rest manage to either stay single because fighting crime was their 'career' and they were too stubborn for their own good, or they ended up joining the Justice League and found love there. But Garfield was glad that there was a Titans wedding—something to distract them all from their own problems for a while.

* * *

However, Raven didn't really want to go, because she wasn't that close to the other Titans, they were just co-workers rather than friends, but Garfield insisted that she should get out of the house. After all, Titans East had attended their wedding, and so it was only natural that they should attend Jinx and Flash's as well.

"I don't see why I _have_ to go; I _know_ I should be there to represent the team, but nobody's going to miss me. It's going to be just as big as Robin and Starfire's, if not bigger." Raven said in their room as she was going through the dresses that Garfield had bought for her and were placed on the bed.

"Well, you can just be there to support Cyborg; he's not exactly going to be _ecstatic_ about this day either." Garfield said, as he was watching her look at the dresses from the comfort of their bed.

Since Raven was in a sorry state, she wasn't in _any_ mood to be shopping for a dress that she may never wear again and therefore would be a waste of a day in her mind. So, Garfield did the shopping. She was given four choices: the long cotton, navy dress with long sleeves, but had a wide slit in the back. Another dress with the similar style and color except with no slit in the back. The dark purple chiffon dress with loose long sleeves. And then the pink, silk dress with short sleeves and a short bodice with ruffles on the bottom.

"Let me guess, (_holding up the pink dress_) Starfire." She said showing him the gown. He nodded. "Why—?"

"She wanted to see if you would like it; I accepted it because it makes _my_ choices look better." He said, smirking. She threw it on the bed, far away from the other dresses, and took the navy dress that covered every inch of her skin with her. "_You_ know everybody wants to see you, even the press people—_what's_ the word?—_paparazzi_; you're the only Titan right now carrying a baby. If anything else in the wedding is boring, at least the newspapers can comment on your healthy appearance."

She grinned at this comment as she went into the bathroom to try the dress on, but she knew he was only saying that because part of the reason she didn't want to go was that she was afraid of what other people might say about her. She wasn't one to be curious or care about what others thought, but none of the other Titan teams had ever seen _her_ pregnant; _none_, and it was because of Robin's presence's in the Tower that forced the other's to just send cards and gifts—the last time, that is—but never an actual visit from _any_ of them. They only ever seen her pregnant through the pictures of what little the paparazzi could take of her. In some ways, this would be both a wedding and a baby's shower, but everybody was just going to treat it as a wedding.

"I'm not coming out." She said through the bathroom door. Garfield scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Rae, don't be so _dramatic_. You're not like this." He said.

"It doesn't look good; I look pregnant."

"You _are_ pregnant." He corrected her, sitting up and chuckling at her comment.

"I know, but others will notice and then Robin will think I would make it all about me—"

"—Robin wouldn't do _that_." He said, walking over to the bathroom door and waiting for his chance to barge in. As soon as she was about to say something else, he opened the door, which was, to the surprise of him, unlocked.

She jumped a little from the surprised, but knew he would do something like that. The navy dress _did_ cover her whole body, clinging to her skin, but that also that meant her bump was very noticeable, draping to the side just a little, but showing nonetheless. While she _was_ six months pregnant, and so was not really that big, she was still to the point where her bump was clearly a baby and not just fat.

"It looks beautiful." He simply said, admiring her belly before he looked up into her eyes. "_You_ look beautiful." She tried to hide her blushing by looking back into the mirror, away from his eyes. "What? _You_ know how I am."

"And _you_ know how I am." She said, trying to get comfortable in a dress. She walked around for a little bit, looking to see if the dress would by any chance drag on the floor. "Do I have to wear a _dress_?"

"You're used to dresses by now."

"Yeah, only because _sometimes_ they are comfortable."

"But then you would be conscious about the fact that people would look at you _more_ if you wore anything else, because you already stand out in a crowd." He said. "Did you get my tux pressed?" Just now remembering _his_ outfit ordeal.

"Yes—now how did we end up taking over each other's outfit?" She asked, just now realizing that they were dressing up each other up, rather than handling it themselves.

"Well, _technically_, I picked out the tux myself. You just went in the store and ordered it. And then cleaned it. And then pressed it." He said, realizing her statement was true.

She looked back in the mirror, trying to see if she could move her hands in a way to somehow hide her bump, but she only looked like a mad woman holding her arms out in a weird way. And in a formal dress nonetheless.

She finally sighed, unsatisfied. "It'll do. I don't know why I fret over this; I'm never going to wear this dress again. I wish I didn't have to go to this wedding."

His ears perked up and raised his eyebrow. "That reminds me." He said, leaving the room, as he made his way to his private drawer and pulled out a small black, velvet, and retractable box. He ran back into the bathroom and presented it to her "Here, open it." Smiling as he said so.

"Garfield, it's not _our_ wedding. You don't have to go and buy me things just so I can keep a dress on for three hours. You don't have to bribe me." She said, almost refusing the box and pushing it away from his hand as he tried to hand it to her.

"What? _No_. (_Chuckling_)You misunderstand….you see when you first told me you were pregnant, whether you were going to keep it or not, I decided to save up to get you a _proper_ ring. And not one that cost as much as chewing gum."

She held onto her left hand in a protective mode, almost as if he were to steal her original sapphire ring. It was a fake, but it was still _her_ ring.

"Don't be like that. I'm not going to get rid of that _one_; I know better." He said, as if he was reading her thoughts. "This _one_ is just like that dress, it's only for formal occasions, so we can keep up appearance with the people. I know gossip magazines _love_ to mock your ring—they always do. This will shut them up. And hopefully, you'll like it." He ended.

She reluctantly took the box, letting out a small grin. "I wish you wouldn't spoil me so." She opened the box and was somewhat taken aback. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub, looking attentively at the small box. "Garfield…..this is too much." She said softly, looking up into his eyes.

He chuckled from the mere sight of her expression. "Rae, I've been saving up….we're not _broke_."

"No, it's not about how much money—well, part of it _is_—but I thought you would give me just a _band_, not an actual _diamond_." She said, looking back down, and lifting it up to see it in the light. It was proper sapphire ring, less than a fifth of a karat, in a simple oval cut, wrapped around in a simple, thin sliver band. She blushed as she touched the small stone.

"Oh, Rae, don't act so modest….it's enough for me to afford." He said, kneeling down to her knees and taking the ring from her. He put the box down, and took her left hand in his hand, taking her first ring off her finger and placing it in the box before he took her left hand again, as if he wanted to do this moment all over again with a proper ring. She couldn't help, but blush as red as a rose, looking at him with a sparkle in her eyes. "Raven of Azarath…..will you do me the great honor and marry me?" He said as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"Yes, but we're already married." She said coyly.

"But you know how I just _love_ to ask." He joked. She looked down at the stone, but moved her head closer to him. He moved his head up to hers, so he could find her lips, and gently kissed them, without her protesting. "Hey, you're not the only one who gets jewelry, I wasn't completely _selfless_; I also bought _myself_ a new wedding band too, a nice sliver edge, so we could match."

* * *

The wedding day came, just before Raven's seventh month, with the whole Tower invited to sit in the second row—being _somewhat_ important people—but not as important as the bride and grooms closer friends. All of Steel City—the respected East Titans city—was invited. Even the reformed criminals in the Hive Academy, those who had changed their position as heroes, were invited. It was held in a giant white tent, as if it was circus, located in the Steel City Park, expecting three hundred official guest, and the rest of the city could watch from the giant screen monitor outside in the downtown district.

The theme must have been 'Pink: on anything and everything', as every single little detail such as the chairs, the balloons, the lamp shades, even down to the food, was doused in pink. Raven thought she had stepped into her own mind in Happy's section. Okay, so maybe it was bit _little_ much, but there were little touches of yellow here and there, to allow Flash's colors to add to the atmosphere.

"So, it seems just as grand as Robin and Star's." Garfield said to Raven, as he was making his way through the tent, looking around him. He was dressed in a dark purple tux and pants, with a lavender flower in his pocket. Wasn't as fancy as his wedding tux, but it was close _enough_ for a formal occasion.

"Well, I don't want to be _here_ when Robin and Flash start comparing." Raven said, as she looked around the garden outside, which was to her more interesting than the artificial decorations inside. "Robin had seemed to spend a fortune on his own."

"Where do you think Robin got the money anyway? To pull off that big wedding?" He asked her, grabbing her hand as he thought that the crowds were becoming too much, and he didn't want to lose her while she gazed at the flowers outside.

"Hmm? Well, Starfire says he has connections—whatever that means—and that he only ever used his so-called connections just for his wedding." She said, looking back at him.

"The guy has connections, and yet he says we can't get the _high quality_ tofu because it's _too_ expensive? Talk about egos." He said.

"There's _high quality_ tofu?" She asked him, raising an eyebrow. He scoffed.

"Come on." He said, as he nudged her over to the cocktail table.

Lydia was running around with other kids her age, mostly playing outside in the garden, where there was a playhouse for the kids. She was wearing a yellow, velvet formal dress, that had puffed sleeves, and white ribbon tied around her waist. She also had a white ribbon in her hair, the only time Raven would have allowed ribbons. There were human kids, who mostly were Politian's children, who didn't know who she was or why she had incredibly pale skin and a strange red gem on her forehead.

There was of course, teasing in order, but after she had demonstrated her small powers—without her parents' permission—the children were either in awed of her or feared her and decided to play with the other children. Those that feared her decided to play somewhere else, and while she did feel some sort of rejection, she had to remember not to act out on her emotion and just tried to hide it from the others by calling them 'stupid heads'.

The other children who decided to stay with her, some of whom knew who she was and were the children of other Titans, were in agreement with her and she was satisfied enough. And then they all took control over the swings set, which made the other children mad, but before they did not dare to get caught in a fight with the children of the Titan's. Now, that was just suicidal.

Robin and Starfire were outside in the garden, socializing with the other couples who were also new at parenting. Robin was in a simply black tux—still fashioning his mask on—while Starfire was wearing the pink, silk dress with short sleeves that Raven had turned down. They were discussing the issues that new parents discussed with each other when they're baby is about to become a toddler. Bruce and the other walking babies were picking apart the grass while trying to communicate to each other with their babble. Bruce was had on a small black tux, that just complimented his black hair and his narrow eyes, but he kept on pulling on the buttons, making them break apart and Starfire kept buttoning him up again.

The parents were somewhat a pretentious group of people, as the various parents would try to prove that _they_ were the better parent by exchanging notes on certain techniques they would used. How _dare_ someone would try formula over breast milk, even if the mother couldn't properly produce milk every day. Or how a father would just be the _disgrace_ of the parenting club if he had to work late—or worse—if _he_ was the stay-at-home father, for a baby needed their mother, and the mother would be considered a abusive person for abandoning her child.

Robin and Starfire were glad Garfield was not around when the others discussed this. Even they were questioning about their motives about socializing with them. _However_, each parent was able to recommend this doctor or that nanny or this daycare. So they weren't _that_ pretentious.

Cyborg had managed to make his way to the open bar—which _wasn't_ open and he mistake it for one—and was somewhat drowning in his sorrows. Slouching on a cushion stool, he looked down at his frosty beer, before he took another sip of the sweet, sweet cold liquid. He didn't wear anything for the special occasion, just a small bowtie, but unraveled after a few hours. His beer seemed to be his only friend in the world, before he saw Garfield taking a seat next to him.

"So….how are you holding up?" Garfield asked, as he tried to take the beer away from Cyborg.

"I've lost her, man." Cyborg said somberly as he took the beer back from Garfield's side of the table.

"Cy, it's her wedding day. You knew she and Flash had a past." He said, trying to comfort his friend.

"Yeah, but why would she want to marry a guy who's fast at everything? And I do mean _everything_." Cyborg said, widening his eyes to Garfield, making sure he got the joke. Garfield smiled uncomfortably as Cy took another sip of his beverage.

Garfield watched his friend for a few minutes. He could see the same pain on Cyborg's face that Garfield once felt when Raven was first rejecting _his_ advances. He knew that pain all too well, and it had resurfaced up lately because of the dreams she had been having.

"You really cared for her, didn't you?" Garfield finally said. Cyborg was quiet for a few moments, before he took another sip.

"I love her, man." He confessed, looking down at the counter. "Still do."

"I see." Garfield said. The bartender came around to offer his services to Garfield, but he refused anything.

"Hey pal, are you gonna pay now, or should I keep a tab for the night?" The bartender asked Cyborg. He was surprised by the news that it _wasn't_ an open bar as he didn't bring any money with him. Garfield saw his blank expression and decided to save him.

"Keep a tab on him; Robin of the Jump City Titan's will pay his bill." Garfield told the bartender, and once the bartender heard the name 'Robin', he didn't ask any more questions, but then instead offered Cyborg _another_ beer. "He's okay right now."

"Okay, but call me when you want another." The bartender said, before he left to attend to new customers.

"Cy, why did you come to the wedding in the first place?" Garfield asked.

"I just thought that maybe…..well, it doesn't matter now anyway. Never mind."

"You thought that….that maybe she might change her mind." Garfield answered for him. Cyborg slowly nodded before he took another sip. "Does she know you love her?"

"I thought she did, but I never actually told her. My…..pride got in the way, and I just assume for a time that she just _knew_ after everything we've been through." Cyborg said. "But then we got into a fight….and now several months later, I'm at her wedding _to_ Flash. I wanted to see her and tell her…but it ended in disaster."

"You mean you saw her today? And you _told_ her? But it's her wedding day—"

"—You know I remember once upon a time when a certain _green boy_ was desperate for the attention of a some _lonely girl_ who didn't like him for a long time. And that certain green boy did some stupid things _too_, all in the name of love." Cyborg said looking at his friend, trying to set aside Garfield's judgment about his actions. "Yeah, it's her wedding day, and I should think _now_ is the only time I have to tell her instead of embarrassing myself by saying something when the guy asks, 'if there is any reason why these two people should not be wed, speak now, or forever hold your piece' gig. So, I wanted my piece to be known before hand." He took another sip. "She didn't see it that way." He said as he put the beer off to the side.

He turned his head around to see Flash—who was sporting a yellow tuxedo with black pants, with his mask still on (Dude, you're _not_ Robin, don't act like you are)—casually talking to a crowd about something that Cyborg couldn't hear. Cyborg clenched his fist.

"So, I take it didn't go well." Garfield said, trying to draw his friend's eyes away from Flash as he was afraid at any moment a fight would break out.

"No." Cyborg said, turning his body around to get back to his beer, and then he looked up into Garfield's solemn eyes. "No, it _didn't_. In fact, that is the reason why there is this long delay. And _he_ has to come out here and try to entertain his guest. She's in there right now; God knows what she thinks of me now."

"Why, what did you do?"

"I….just told her how I felt, and then there was this fight that broke out, things got broken, her dress ripped a bit, and then she told me to get out. But I said I wouldn't leave until she told it to me straight—did she have _any_ feelings for me anymore. She made it clear she didn't. Now I'm here. Drowning my sorrows." He said as he took another sip. The glass was almost empty. "I don't even drink beer."

"Well, are you going to stay? I don't think you should stay." Garfield said, trying to strike two birds with one stone, as he was starting to feel uncomfortable at this wedding, and with Raven not wanting to be there either, it would just seem like the best excuse if all three of them went home _now_.

However, they must keep up appearances with the other Titans in the room and among those in Jump City who were only watching the wedding _because_ their own Titans were attending. It would not be right if three of the starting Titans just walked out, as if they were making a statement about the wedding, or doing some kind of political move.

"Nay, man." He said, with his words starting to slur a bit. "I want to have that second row seat, so I can look her in the eyes when she says, 'I do'. Then I would _know_ if she means it or not by how she reacts to my glare."

"Dude, that's not healthy. _At all_. Please, Cyborg, let's not try to—"

"—You know, I always admire you guys. You and Raven. I sometimes wish I had a relationship like you guys, you both have it so easy, I sometimes just wish…." Cyborg trailed off as he finished off his drink.

Garfield's blood then started to boiled. "_No_, you don't. Trust me." He said, in an irritated tone. Cyborg leaned back in his stool a bit, trying to give his friend some space.

"Hey, you don't have to get an attitude about it." Cyborg said in defense.

"Well, it's just not all _peachy_ as it sometimes appears." Garfield said, as he tried to wave down the bartender. "I mean there is some struggles in our relationship."

"Yes, what would you like?" The bartender said as he made his way to the two.

"I would like the lightest vegan beer you have, please." He then turned back to Cyborg. "So, like I was saying, even the most perfect relationship you can find will have its own struggles here and there."

"Dude, tell me, what's going on? Is the baby getting to Rae? Is she getting nervous or moody?" Cyborg asked, as he was now the one doing the comforting. The bartender came back with the only beer that was marked with a vegan sticker. Garfield looked down in the cup, staring at the foamy beverage. Cyborg then noticed the bags under his friend's eyes. "B?"

"No, it has nothing to do with the baby—well, somewhat—sort of, kind of…..but it's not just that." He lifted the cup up and took a long sip before setting it down, wiping the foam off his face with his sleeves. "She has been dreaming about Trigon."

Cyborg widened his eyes. He didn't even know what exactly she was dreaming about, but just her father's name alone sent a shiver down his spine. "Whoa, dude. I don't know what to say. Is everything alright? What is she dreaming for?"

Garfield sighed heavily, as he was relieved to tell someone else. "I'm gonna say I wish I could tell you exactly—she's repressing a memory of him about something—but I can't really tell you." Cyborg leaned forward a bit.

"Is that why Rae has been taking some time off? I just thought it was the baby." He whispered.

"Yes, but the baby did have something to do with it. You know, hormones." Garfield said, taking another long sip of the terrible, terrible tasting beer. However, it was the only beer that was vegan.

"Man, you are really out of it. Is this healthy for you? Shouldn't you talk about it?" Cyborg asked, trying to slide the beer away from Garfield.

"I _am_ talking about it. I'm just not revealing what was the subject of the dream. Rae doesn't want to be here, and after ten minutes arriving, I realized I don't want to be here either. But I know Robin, and he wouldn't let us escape this as there are a lot of Jump City citizens watching, wanting to see _their_ Titans." He said. He looked down at his watch, seeing that the ceremony was already twenty minutes late. "Oh lord, how long are they gonna take?"

"Hey, there might not _be_ a wedding. Maybe I really did get to Jinx and she's up there, thinking about everything." Cyborg said as he grinned. Garfield didn't want to give him a reality check, but he couldn't let him be hopeful either.

"Cy…." He started, but just then he saw Raven walking up to them, with Lydia by her side. Phew, saved by the bell.

"They're going to start soon." She said, who stood next to Cyborg as she glazed down at the beer cups on the table.

She then noticed Garfield grabbing one of them, making her glad that both the glasses just weren't for Cyborg, but disheartened that one was for her husband. He wasn't the drinking type, and even though they were at a wedding, she didn't think him drinking was because of this particular occasion. She gave Garfield a solemn look.

"Don't give him that look, Rae." Cyborg said, noticing the two staring. "He's just trying to cheer me up."

"I didn't say anything." She said in her monotone, looking back to Cyborg. Lydia was very confused about what was going on. "But how are you doing?"

"I guess not so well since the wedding is still on." He said, sighing heavily.

"I heard what you did. Although it wasn't the smartest idea in the world, probably the stupidest, but I guess it was brave. It sounds like something Garfield would do." She said, before she used her powers to gently lift Cyborg's glass and put in the back of the bartenders sink. "Not until after the ceremony. We don't want any more reasons to cut _all_ your ties with the other Titans."

"Well, I guess I'm drunk enough to hear your reasoning, but not drunk enough to fight back. Thanks Rae. Thanks B. I promised I'll be a good boy. See you guys up there." He said, as he stood up and left the Logan family alone.

"Mama, what was that about?" Lydia asked, pulling on her dress.

"Uncle Cyborg just broke up with his girlfriend. And he's not handling it well." She said. "Why don't you go and follow him, and keep him company."

"But I want to go on the swings!"

"Not after I saw you pulled that stunt with that poor boy! I'm going to be getting phone calls from his parents for the next few weeks. For the love of Azarath, Lydia, I told you 'no powers', and now you're in trouble. For the time being, go to your Uncle. We'll be there soon." She said, a little wary of Lydia—and the baby—both pushing on her as she just wanted a moment of peace with Garfield. Lydia, reluctantly, ran after for Cyborg. Raven sat down, as she winced from the baby kicking and putting a hand on her stomach. He watched her with a smile. "Oh, yeah, laugh now. It won't be so funny when _you're_ in that delivery room."

"I wasn't laughing; I was just enjoying the view." He said, sliding his glass away from him, but she noticed it.

"Why are you drinking? You had a heart attack; you can't drink for a long time."

"Well, _technically_, I heard that sometimes alcohol can be good for the heart. In moderation, that is."

"Yes, but I know _you_, you aren't drinking because of the occasion, it's an escape, something to control your stress."

"Rae, it's just one beer. I'm not going to have another one. Cyborg and I were just talking, and it kind of brought up memories I would rather…..soon….forget." He said, looking down. She placed her hand on top of his. After a few moments, she guided his hand to her stomach, as he gently lifted his head up to her. "I guess this eases the pain just as well."

Everyone in the room was trying to take their seats, but the two of them knew it was going to be a while before it started. The bartender walked up to them.

"Can I get you another one, sir?" He asked.

"No." Garfield said, smiling to Raven. She blushed.

"And you, miss? Beer, wine, champagne?"

Raven twitched her eyebrows. "I'm pregnant." Putting her hand on her stomach.

"Oh, I just _assumed_—never mind." He said, before awkwardly walking away and returning with a cup of water. "Here you go, free of charge." He then left them.

"How much you bet that water is free _anyway_?" Garfield said. She once again smiled. "What did you mean when you were talking to Cyborg, about him being like me? I just thought it was dumb what he did."

"Well, she was the one who sent the email last night. She kind of brought it on herself."

"Wait, what? Cyborg just said he was the one who walked in on her and tried to tell her he loved, but it ended in a fight." He said, quite a taken back by the new information.

"No, what happened was she wrote an email to him last night, confessing that she hoped they could have meeting before the wedding to clear the air and move on. _She_ was the one who pushed him into asking if he had any feelings for her, and he well, confessed that he in fact was still in love with her. A fight broke out, in a room full of mirrors I might add, in which he saved her from a shard glass that was heading for her face. She was done by that point and told him to get out."

"Why did he tell _me_ a different story?"

"I don't know, probably he thought he was more in the wrong then her. Probably to make him sound tougher then he actually was. Most likely to take the pressure off of her, since it is her wedding."

"God, I never knew Jinx could be such a bitch."

"She's not thinking right now. She's just as confused and lost as I once was when we first went out. Although, her timing, I admit, was terrible." She said, slowly standing up, as the ceremony was going to start soon.

"But I still think she is a bitch for putting Cyborg in that position."

"Now, now, let's not cut ties with our Titan friends. I do remember a distinct time when you were calling me a cold-hearted bitch. And I called you…..other things." She grabbed his shoulder for support as he stood up.

"Come on, this is gonna be one hell of a wedding. And you can still call me those _nasty_ things if you want?" He mischievously raised his eyebrow.

"Hey, let's not start, I'm already pregnant." She said.

* * *

They made their way across the crowded tent to behind the curtain where the ceremony was held. The scenery took Garfield's breath away as he didn't realized how extravagant the event was going to be. There were a total of three hundred chairs, each being a simple white wooden chair, with a yellow wide ribbon wrapped around each one. Each row had a bouquet of pink roses on the side, and the aisle covered in a variety of different color rose pedals. There was a white canopy at the end of pathway, and while Rae joked that it looked like a Pepto Bismol bomb went off, it was elegantly decorated with pink ribbons tied against the white backdrop, with dark pink vases, small pink statues, a mostly pink Persian rug, and a basket on each side, full of rose pedals. It was in the south end of the park, and therefore didn't have the city as the background of the ceremony, instead it was held around the quiet suburban area.

"It just looks like the wedding I always wanted to give you." Garfield said as they made their way through the grass that was invested with roses.

"You forget, I told you I didn't want a big wedding, and you went out of your way to make sure that's what we got—a small, intimate wedding with just our friends. A lot more Titans wanted to come, but you know I don't like a lot of attention. Or parties in general." She said, smiling at him.

"I gotta say, you can't escape the attention _now_." He said, eyeing at the various people that were glazing at her as they both were walking, some of them being caught in the act and pretending they were staring at something else. Her cheeks colored. "I guess, perhaps, I _do_ remember that conversation about a _small_ wedding. But _still_."

"Still—I know." She said, rolling her eyes. At that moment, Cyborg walk up to them, being remotely concerned about something.

"Rae, B, can you guys got to do me a favor? _Please_." Cyborg whispered, with a tone of urgency in his voice.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Well—" He started, but looked around to make sure nobody was listening. But of course, people were looking at them, as she was the pregnant Titan. So, Cyborg nodded them over to a large bush on the other of the garden. They all three walked over to the bush and were concealed from the others behind it's leaves. "Okay—um, how should I say this—Rae….is there any chance you can…..oh, man…..is there any chance you could possibly _fake_ something wrong with you—let me finish, now—because you're _pregnant_ and all—during the part where the guy says 'speak now…' bit?"

"What? Cyborg!" Garfield shouted, insulted by his friend's request. He already was feeling protective over Rae due to her recent dreams, but Cyborg just asked permission to use the Logan's unborn child to tangled into Cyborg's love life.

"Shh!" Cyborg shushed, looking behind him to see if anybody was paying attention.

"Cyborg, that's not fair to put her in _your_ situation just because _you_ screwed up with your love life—"

"B, I am not asking much—"

"—you're asking a lot!—"

"—she's pregnant!—"

"—Exactly, _she's_ pregnant! Not you!—"

"—Let me finish—Nobody could argue with her if she makes a scene while I say something—"

"—And that's _another_ thing, why do you need _her_ to make a scene, you can do it your own, the part where you _say_ something—"

"—I'm not actually going to _say_ anything—"

"—then what's the point—"

"—I just want Jinx to look at me during that point, to make her remember what she is doing—"

"—What?—"

"—Hey, it takes _two_ sometimes, to ruin a relationship—"

"—Bullshit! You just want revenge—"

"—Garfield, let him speak." Raven said sternly, putting her hand up to Garfield before he could interrupt Cyborg once again. All three of them decided to cool down a bit before they could speak up. "Okay, now Cyborg, continue."

"Okay….what happened back there, before when I was with her..."

"I agree, she's a bitch." Garfield said, before he was silenced by Raven.

"Well, that's a different argument. Anyway, we said a lot of things back there, things I couldn't possibly say in front of group of people. And things I couldn't say as a Titan, in general. Because Robin would kill me if I, not only ruin my relationship with Jinx, but take down the whole team by ruining _all_ of _our_ relations with the other Titans." He said. "We are the original Titans. People look up to us. I know I am—along with you guys—are a part of an _image_. And we've lost some of our rights to act—should we say—_stupid_ in public."

Garfield was still glaring at him, but nonetheless could see his reasoning behind his insanity. Just a little. "So, how does Rae play a part of this?"

"The guy will say, 'if anybody has anything to say…', and instead of me saying anything, Rae would make some kind of noise, and that will make everyone look at us. I—or maybe _you_ could say it's the baby—and excuse yourselves for a moment, apologizing too. But everyone will understand, everyone will look at you—and _I_ will be looking at Jinx, and she will see me and won't help, but look too."

"And what does this exactly accomplish?" Raven asked in her cool monotone.

"I don't know….maybe I just want to make my last statement before she walks away with him." Cyborg said, trying his best to explain his reasoning for the whole act in question. He looked back at Garfield.

Garfield sighed heavily. "I don't know if you should say _anything_. I mean, you told me you didn't want to do that anyway, so why…."

"I don't know…it's just….it's just…I can't explain it…I just want the last word in."

"Can't explain or won't?" Raven asked. Garfield was interested in that answer too, but Cyborg's face said it all when he took a while to answer the question. "I see." Raven said.

"Will you do it, though? I mean, Rae, how many times have I helped you out, acted like a big brother when at a time Robin couldn't?" Cyborg asked. Garfield couldn't take it any longer, he stepped in front of Rae, folding his arms, scowling at Cyborg.

"Don't guilt her into the decision. She has _enough_ problems. _We_ have enough problems." Garfield said, looking into Cyborg's to send a message about the conversation they had about twenty minutes ago, with the whole 'she has been dreaming about her satanic father' topic.

Cyborg stepped away from them a few feet, remembering now how Garfield gets about Raven when she's pregnant. He would not be afraid of hitting his friend if he thought he could protect his wife from an insult. Really, he did punch Robin in the jaw one time; nobody could ever forget that.

"You know what, _you_ guys decide. I mean you will start the act _anyway_, so if yes, then do as I discuss, and if not, well then, I guess _don't_ do it…" Cyborg said, trailing off. He walked away.

* * *

The two were seated at the beginning of the row, next to Starfire and Robin, so they couldn't discuss anything with Cyborg without being overheard. The decision was, at that point, up to them. Lydia was sitting on Garfield's lap, trying to get herself out of trouble since she was caught using magic without their permission.

"I want to sit's next to the kids I met today." Lydia said.

"And where are you guys going to seat?" Garfield asked her sternly, trying not to sound as mad as Rae wanted him to be.

"In the back." She said in an innocent voice.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. No." He repeated.

"But Daddy?"

"Lydia, you have already broken the rules today….I don't know if I can let you go without an adult supervision."

"—But there will be adults there! They will be in the back's as well!—"

"—Lydia….."

"Just let her go." Raven said, chiming into the conversation. "She will be bored out of her mind anyway if she stays, and frankly, she should get all her energy out now, so she'll be tired by tonight."

"Are you sure?" Garfield asked, but Lydia was already standing up and preparing to leave.

"Lydia stay. I need to make a few things clear." Raven said, making Lydia freeze in her place, looking back toward her mother. Raven kneeled down to her height and looked closely into her eyes. "Number one: No magic whatsoever. And don't _ask_ me a life or death question because there are about a _hundred_ super heroes to respond to an emergency if it happens. Number two: _Stay_ with the group, no exploring on your own. Number three, the most important: As soon as the bullying gets to you and you feel sad or you get an injury, say your chant. It will help you relax before we to get you. Got it?"

Lydia nodded obediently. She was then sent off to play with the others, avoiding a forty-five minute ceremony. Garfield sat back in his chair.

"Rae, don't do it. Don't do what Cyborg asked you to do. We could get in a lot of trouble if people found out the truth." Garfield whispered to her, as he was so closed to her ear, and whispered so softly that they couldn't possibly be overheard.

"Truth? I have been having strong kicks today. People have witness it. So, it wouldn't be an exaggeration."

"Don't say you're doing it."

"I don't know. He has been rather supportive of us during our time of need—"

"Yeah, but….." He said, before they heard the music to indicate the ceremony would begin. Everyone watched as the various members of the wedding party slowly made their way down the aisle. The guys were dressed in black tux—thank Azarath it wasn't yellow or pink—and the girls were dressed, of course, in pink summer dresses.

"Garfield, _he_ doesn't think she's a bitch. He's still in love and he's hurt. He's also a public figure." She whispered back. "_We_ have used the pregnancy as an excuse for many things as well—"

"Yeah, but, that's _different_." He whispered, emphasizing the different part with his hands, gripping tightly on hers. "Your _psychological_ health, Rae."

"Yes, and I know I can't do many things with my life _because_ of my powers. But I _can_ do some things with them, and one of them is feeling negative energy and I can feel his. He's in pain. Pain that I _can_ help with, in one way at least." She whispered.

Flash then made his way down the aisle. The Logan's were no longer interested in the performance of the wedding, they only really cared about the vows, as it would remind them of their own, but everything was too extravagant to their taste, and the crowd was getting to Garfield as well.

And then the moment the whole crowd was waiting for, and one that caused Raven to stand up rather awkwardly as the baby started kicking again. Jinx walked slowly down the aisle, by herself, with the music blaring loud. She was wearing a long, flowing _white_ gown, with a slight V-neck, decorated with a pink modesty lace and completed with long sleeves to hide her arms. She was holding a single rose as a bouquet. Raven rolled her eyes as she thought that holding a single flower such a clique thing to do. Wow, a _rose_, how _original_. Jinx's hair was in a bun, decorated with four-leaf clovers—probably fake. Yes, because being named Jinx wasn't exactly fit for a wedding, so she needed the extra luck. She also had a long flowing veil, reaching to the floor as she made her way down.

"Look at them, happy." Garfield said, admiring the blushing bride.

"Yes." Raven said, agreeing. "Which makes me question why would _she_ ask to see Cyborg if she was trying to break the ties?"

"I don't know. Maybe she didn't want there to be any awkwardness."

"Probably wasn't the best decision in the world."

"Nope, it wasn't." He said, agreeing. "But it's _her_ day."

"Why are you so against this? I might not even do it. But Cyborg's words are just making me think."

"I would be behind him one hundred percent and everything, if he _did_ say something. But…"

"_But_ because _I_ will be involved, you're worried." She said, trying to understand his logic. He huffed, as Jinx made her way to their row and then went beyond the second row to the canopy. Raven was the last person to sit down, as the baby kicked once again.

"Dearly Beloved…." The priest began.

"Are they religious? I thought they were going to get one of their friend's to do the ceremony? I'm confused." Raven asked.

"I don't know, it could be just to put on a show for everyone in the city. Maybe they _really_ are religious." He whispered. "You have your own religion. Why ask?"

"I was just curious. They just don't seem like the _type_."

"Well I hate to break it to you, but just because they aren't chanting under their when battling criminals and meditate twenty-four hours a day, doesn't mean that they aren't religious." He joked with her

"Shut up." Was all she could say back. Some people behind them 'shushed' them because of their talking. They were quiet for a moment, allowing the others that 'shushed' to get back into the wedding. But then Raven whispered, "I was just certain they were going to have one Speedy perform the ceremony."

"Well, apparently we don't know a lot about them, as they only ever talk about work and the Internet whenever we see them." He whispered. She winced from the pain of the violent kicks the baby made. "Are you alright? Rae, tell me you're _not_ playing."

"No, this isn't an act. I'm fine…..just…just watch the wedding. You love weddings; you watch them all the time on TV, well, here is a _real_ one." She whispered.

"…..and who is giving this woman away?" The priest asked.

"My team." Jinx announced. "As I started from nothing, but found a family in my friends." It was more of a political move, so she didn't appear bias to one friend over another.

"And as it is said, matrimony…" The priest continued.

Raven and Garfield sat there quietly, just enjoying what little love that could rub off the two Titans in front of them. Whether it was Cyborg's problems, Jinx's debatable past with others, Flash as the innocent by stander in all this drama, one thing was clear at least, Jinx and Flash were deeply in love. And love, even when it's full of drama, sometimes was just worth it in the end. They weren't faking the stares they gave each other to the cameras—Jinx was not the greatest actress in the world and Flash couldn't lie to save his life—it was genuine.

Garfield held Rae's hand while the bride and groom started to read each other's vows. Cyborg was right, they _were_ public figures, even the vows they gave didn't sound like _themselves_, it sounded like something that the City typed up ahead of time to inspire all who were watching the wedding. At least Garfield's, 'I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, _really_ love you' sounded like Garfield, and not some official that wrote it up. While it was romantic for a while, the obvious rehearsed statements such as, 'as we are officials, who protect civilians,' were a bit annoying to hear.

Their vows were long, as they tried to squeeze in some personal story, but Garfield was becoming anxious. He rested his head on Rae's shoulder, as she rubbed his hand, understanding that the sun and the long speeches were getting to him. And she was okay with him wanting a shoulder to rest on. They both wished that they had followed Lydia to play with her friends.

At least the scenery was romantic when the ceremony was getting boring. Garfield just had other things on his mind, which is why he expected more flowery language, to escape in the words while he got lost in her eyes. But all he could do was grabbed at her hands, and stared at her bump being moved occasionally here and there. He grabbed one of the roses, from the vase on the side of Raven's chair, as she was sitting at the end. He stuck it in her hair as she blushed. They weren't usually the affectionate type out in public, that was more Robin and Starfire, but they couldn't help it when it came to weddings.

And there it was, once again, a strong kick. Garfield saw it, and was touched by the small vibrations he could feel. And then the priest said, "And as these two shall remain together, for all of their lives and ours…."

"I don't think he is going to say it. The whole, 'speak now' business." Garfield whispered into her ear. "I'm pretty sure it's past the point where he should say it."

"Are you sure? But, wait, I thought you didn't want me to…."

"Well, what can I say, I look into your eyes….and everything just makes sense. If you told me the sky was orange, I would believe you. But I've studied a lot on weddings to know he is quite past that part about the whole 'speak now' business."

"…This day marks a new era for the both of you. As you have placed the rings in your hand and done the vows….." The priest carried on.

"I don't want to ruin the moment." She whispered softly, as she seemed to have only one shot to get this right.

"Moment? Look at _all_ this they have (_eyeing the area_), and they have their love, I might add. They're fortunate enough already."

"Still, it isn't fair." She whispered, Garfield looked into her eyes and nodded, looking somber about the whole situation. Sometimes life wasn't fair.

"…..I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride." The priest ended with.

Flash uncovered Jinx's long veil and gently kissed her. The crowd applauded as the ceremony was finally coming to a close.

"It is my privilege to present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. West." The crowd stood up and applauded as Cyborg was trying to take in the fact that he didn't plan on the priest skipping that crucial part of the plan. Now his ex-girlfriend was the wife of someone else.

However, as soon as Jinx and Flash stepped down the stairs, Raven could feel that intense pain in her body, as if the baby seemed to be applauding along with everyone else. She stood up, but kneeled over, trying to conceal her stomach with her hands. Garfield went to her aid, and even though the others couldn't see what was going on, Jinx and Flash noticed her because she was at the end of the row.

"Raven, are you alright?" Jinx asked the Logan's, as she didn't want to leave her friends when they were hurt, even as the applause continued to drain out her sorrow for her teammates.

It was an unexpected turn of events that ended in their favor. Raven, at the very end, decided against saying anything, but now her baby _forced_ the decision on her to cause a scene. Garfield didn't know what to say, because he didn't know if it was real or not, and so was somewhat speechless.

"Raven, are you okay?" Robin intervened, as it was his actual teammate, and not just a random Titan who was part of the organization.

"I'm fine, really I am, but he or she or whoever, is kicking is _really_—_oh_…." She groaned, just trying to get through the pain. Garfield held her hand and let her squeezed it tight as she wanted too, as Flash and the others were making sure she sat down again and was comfortable.

Jinx briefly looked up the others, and then saw Cyborg looking back at her. Their silent yet awkward glaze only lasted until Raven's pain subsided, which was only a few more seconds. Cyborg stared at her with a solemn expression, not smiling or being angry at her, just serious. Jinx didn't know what to do other than to hide her bouquet behind her back. She tried to smile, but Cyborg only stared at her, almost in disgust.

Jinx blushed and looked away and went back to the group as a helper, before they were told everything was okay. Raven swore at one point it was a contraction, as did Garfield since the kick was so strong. After Raven got a water bottle, the couple then continued their way down the aisle, which made the crowd cheered again. Garfield knew Raven wasn't faking it, from the way she was holding on his hand.

"Well, this would certainly make the highlight of the night." Garfield said, glad that she wasn't having a contraction.

"I just hope nothing broke."

"No, I'm pretty sure the only thing you broke was my hand." He said, showing the bruises it had from her grip. She smiled before Cyborg, Robin and Starfire came back to her side as Starfire went to grab Bruce from the grass. Cyborg gave both the Logan's a nod.

OKAY, SINCE DOWNTON ABBEY IS OVER, AND WE SHOULD BE GETTING MORE HELP FROM WORK, I WILL HAVE MORE TIME. AGAIN, SORRY ABOUT THE WAIT, BUT I HAVE LOADS ON MY PLATE AND SOMETIMES I DON'T FEEL IN THE WRITING MOOD AFTER SIX OR SO HOURS OF WORK.


	38. The Day Garfield Hated Himself

FORGIVE ME FOR THE LONG WAIT….HELL, EVEN I WAS LIKE 'I HAVEN'T WRITTEN DONE A SENTENCE IN A WEEK'. BUT WORK IS WORK. AND SCHOOL IS SCHOOL. AND WHEN YOU DECIDE TO TAKE AN ENGLISH CLASS EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T NEED TO TAKE ANYMORE ENGLISH CLASS, YOU REALIZED, OH, ENGLISH REQUIRES A LOT OF READING AND WRITING. AND THE HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY OF TITANIC IS COMING UP, SO I KNOW MY MIND WILL BE SOMEWHERE ELSE IN APRIL. SORRY, THAT'S MY OBESSIVE AUTISTIC TRAIT COMING OUT, I TENDED TO OBSESSED ABOUT THE TITANIC WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND ALWAYS FOUND IT A FASCINATING SUBJECT TO TAKE ON WHENEVER I HAD THE CHANCE TO READ ABOUT OR TALK ABOUT. BUT SINCE IT IS 'THE' HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY, ONE OF THOSE ONCE IN A LIFE TIME THINGS, IT KIND OF GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT MY MIND IS ALL OVER IT.

YES, I WILL BE SEEING THE MOVIE, EVEN IF IT IS IN 3-D, MAINLY BECAUSE I NEVER SAW IT IN THEATERS WHEN IT CAME OUT WHEN I WAS 6 BECAUSE I WAS 6. I WAS 6, I TOLD PEOPLE I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE PEOPLE DIE, BECAUSE IT'S A DIASTER MOVIE TOO ON TOP OF A ROMANCE MOVIE, AND I'M 6. I ALSO DIDN'T CARE ABOUT LEO, BECAUSE I WAS A 6 YEAR OLD _AUTISTIC_ CHILD, I WASN'T ATTRACTED TO ANYBODY BY THEIR LOOKS, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE _SHOULD_ LOOK LIKE, BECAUSE I GO BY PERSONALITY OR HUMOR RATHER THEN PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. I STILL DON'T SEE LEO AS THIS HANDSOME FELLOW, BUT WHATEVER, OTHER WOMEN LOVE IT. NO, I LOVE TITANIC BECAUSE OF THE MYTHOS AND THE STORY AROUND IT.

IT'S THE STORY OF LIFE, I BELIEVE. THERE'S A COMMUNITY WITH A CLASS DIVISION, AND IN THAT CLASS DIVISION THERE IS MORE DIVISION AMONG RACE OR HOW A PERSON CAME INTO FORTUNE. THEY LIVE WELL UNTIL TRAGDEY STRIKES AND IT SHOWS PEOPLE'S TRUE CHARACTER WHEN THEY HAVE TO MAKE LIFE AND DEATH DECISIONS. THEIR SENSE OF BRAVERY FOR THOSE MEN THAT STAYED BEHIND, KNOWING THEIR WIVES MIGHT BE WIDOWS, FOR THE WOMEN WHO STAYED BEHIND WITH THEIR MEN BECAUSE THEY RATHER DIE WITH THEM THEN LIVE ALONE. THEIR SENSE OF SELFISHNESS, NOT GOING BACK TO POSSIBLY RESCUE OTHERS BECAUSE THEY CLAIM, 'WELL, WE POSSIBLY CAN'T FIT ANYMORE PEOPLE', EVEN THOUGH THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOME SENSE OF WANTING TO AT LEAST TRY TO HELP OTHERS.

THEIR SENSE OF MOURNING, AS SOME WOMEN AND CHILDREN WENT HYSTERICAL IN THE LIFE BOATS WHEN THEY SAY THAT THE SHIP ACTUALLY DID SINK, DESPITE WHAT THEY WERE TOLD WAS ONLY A PRECAUSION, AND HAD A FEELING THAT THEIR HUSBANDS OR FATHERS HAD GONE DOWN WITH THE SHIP. AND THE SENSE OF HONOR, AS THOSE WHO KNEW IN ADVANCE THAT THERE EITHER WASN'T ENOUGH LIFE BOATS OR WERE GOING DOWN WITH THE SHIP BECAUSE THEY WERE REQUIRED TO HELP OTHERS BEFORE THEY HELPED THEMSELVES, SUCH AS THE CAPTAIN, A LOT OF THE CREW MEMBERS, AND THE BAND, THAT PLAYED UNTIL THE WATER HIT THEIR FEET.

AFTER THE TRAGDEY, NOBODY CARES ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS LIKE MONEY OR CLASS DIVISION ANYMORE. NO, ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AND SURVIVED.

YOU CAN ARGUE THAT THE MOVIE IS OVERRATED OR THE ROMANCE IS A LITTLE FORCED, BUT TO ME, SINCE THERE WASN'T ANY RECORDINGS OF THE SHIP GOING DOWN OR PICTURES, WE COULD ONLY GO BY HOW IT LOOKED GOING DOWN FROM THE MOVIE. IT'S _TRYING_ TO DOCUMENT HISTORY, AND TO ME THAT IS MORE WORTHY THEN SOME BLUE VERSION OF THE RETELLING OF _DANCES WITH WOLVES_ SET IN A WHATEVER WORLD. YEAH, I SAID IT, I DIDN'T CARE FOR _AVATAR_.

It had been a few months since Garfield had threatened Lydia to spank her, and it had just been weeks after the big wedding had ended. Lydia was lying in her purple bed, looking up at the ceiling, as she couldn't sleep. She touched the outline of her gem on her forehead, as the smooth design comforted her. Her mother was going to give birth soon to her new sibling, but something felt wrong about it. If it came time when her sister or brother would ask her who was Mama's father, Lydia wouldn't have an answer, and that didn't feel right. She had to change that or she wouldn't be the greatest sibling in the history of the world. Oh, boy, was she aiming for that title.

But for the moment all she could do was meditate.

* * *

The next day, Lydia waited until she it was her naptime before she put her plan into action. She waited for about twenty minutes, making sure Starfire was quite busy with Bruce in the living room. She then put pillows on her bed and quietly opened her door. She checked the hallway to make sure it was clear and then proceeded to make her way to her parents' room, which was just one flight of stairs below her. The rest of the Titans were out, including her mother, which was quite surprising, since before Raven was insistent upon staying home. But now, she was out there along with everyone else.

Lydia didn't understand what her mother was doing as she was once told that Raven would stay home before the baby came, but now…..something changed that plan.

Whatever kind of logic her mother was following, Lydia was just grateful that her mother would be out for _that_ day at least, so Lydia could snoop around in their room. Something intrigued about the mystery man known as her second grandpa. Oh, how she was warned not to discussed the issue anymore, as it would upset Mama, but surely if Lydia just found out and didn't tell her parents, she could solve the mystery and not get in trouble. Simple as that.

Who was this mystery man? What did he possibly do to be considered a disgusting person by both her mother _and_ father. Her mother, she could understand. Raven, was well, Raven. She liked and heavily disliked things to an extreme, but didn't show it often. Her father however, baffled Lydia. He was such a people person, so why did he hate this particular person so much? Garfield had told Lydia before that he had forgiven many criminals before, only because they tended to turned to a life of crime in desperation due to the lack of jobs available in the city or just a run of bad luck. Even though he had to stop these criminals and exclaim that it was stupid to become a robber, he didn't blame those that did lead that life.

Now villains were another problem altogether, they were just greedy. So, was this mystery man possibly a villain that didn't have any sympathy from Daddy?

She crept down the stairs, as the elevator would create noise, which she had unfortunately discovered one time. Then it hit her, both her parents were out there in the battlefield.

Both.

And just by picturing the idea of Daddy getting smacked around or getting tortured by the criminals, or Mama falling many stories up in the air, only to come crashing down into the hard, concrete surface, leaving her breathless on the pavement was too much. And then she started imaging her Uncles and Aunt explaining to her that she no longer had a Daddy or Mama….

"Ahh!" She cried out as her black energy destroyed a light bulb and caused the glass to fall from the ceiling, cutting her arm up.

* * *

"There, does that hurt?" Starfire asked as she placed another band-aid on Lydia's arms. They were sitting quietly in the living room, with Lydia feeling defeated in her mission. Star knew something was going on, as it was unusual for Lydia to hurt herself with her powers when she was alone, but she didn't say anything.

Lydia looked up to her. "Don't tell Mama."

"Why not?" She asked, surprised.

"I wasn't supposed—I-I just can't talk about it."

"Are you afraid she will be disappointed that you hurt yourself?" She asked, grabbing her small, pale hand. Lydia appreciated the small comfort.

"It's not that….I just can't….I'm not allowed to talk about it."

"Talk about what?" Starfire asked, lifting one of her eyebrows.

"I was doing something that…" She admitted.

"What _were_ you doing?" Starfire asked, gently tightening her hand.

"Mama told me not to ask about it and Daddy told me never to talk about it."

"What is 'it'? What is going on, little one? I do not understand you." Lydia looked up into her eyes, and decided it was safe enough for her to talk. "Please, tell me what is going on. Your parents will not get mad."

"Okay," Lydia started. "Okay, well, Daddy's parents are dead, so…"

* * *

The battle outside the coffee shop continued on as Raven tried as calmly as possible to read her book. She was far away from the battleground to not be worried or even concern about her safety and comfort, but she could still _hear_ the fight. She was wearing a blue long sleeve maternal shirt, with black sweats, complete with her cloak, as she still wanted to hide from the world with her hood. She was in a small, remote, nicely lit coffee house, which had a number of classics playing in the background, even though there were some outspoken Starbucks hipsters who wanted to listen to contemporary music or jazz. The owners were classical buffs and refused to abide by the request from the Starbucks crowd as there was a Starbucks _two_ blocks away.

But whatever, it was quiet, and it was pretty empty anyway. Normally, she just would have gone to the park, but even _she_ wanted a change of scenery every now and then.

Although she was recommended by doctors and her teammates out there that she should stay home and start nesting, she didn't want to be away from Garfield. So, she would go where he went, and damn to those reporters who told her otherwise.

She couldn't explain it; she just didn't want to be too far away from Garfield at the current moment. Maybe it was her coping with her father in her dreams, maybe it was the pregnancy, or maybe it was just combination of both. Whatever it was, she was getting out of the Tower and following Garfield to his job, just so she could feed off of his positive energy. Or maybe so he could be the first person she sees when she starts to feel that sinking sensation of loneliness, which only doubled with the pregnancy.

Nobody else minded her presence near their battles, but Robin would sometimes try to give her hints on staying home instead by claiming that Lydia must be lonely back home, or gee, what is Lydia doing? She knew what he was doing, she didn't like it, but knew it was something she would have to deal with, for now at least.

"Did you want any-anything else, Miss.—I mean Mrs. Logan?" Asked the female barista with strawberry blond hair at the counter, as she was a bit nervous to have the pregnant Titan sitting there alone. She was just reading, and the barista felt sorry for her.

"No, I'm fine." Raven said, without lifting her head up, as she preferred not to gaze at her yellow locks. This always kept happening whenever she went somewhere. As soon as any random person would come in contact with her, they would ask, 'are you alright?', 'do you need anything else', 'can I do anything for you', and the occasional 'can I feel it'?

She did not fully realize how influential or powerful her presence was on the big city. She heard stories of other pregnant women who would follow her diet plan—only because she was a celebrity and the only Titan to ever become pregnant on her team. Everyone had their own 'thing', on the team, as Cyborg once elaborately said. Every team member was remembered for one thing or another and there were always odd groups in the city who would followed their trend. Whether it was Cyborg's knowledge of technology, Garfield's vegan lifestyle, or Robin and Starfire's romance to be overanalyzed in other's mind as the greatest romance story ever told since Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

So, apparently besides always wanting to be the 'quiet' one on the team, she was now 'the pregnant one'. That was her 'thing'. That became an interesting turn of events, since the pregnant women in the city started to take a more holistic approach to their condition, just as Raven had done, having an increase request for midwives as more women wanted home deliveries.

"So," Said the barista, trying hard to make small talk as she had nothing else to do. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Don't you read the papers?" Raven said, still giving her full attention to her book.

"I don't trust them. One day it's a boy, the next day it's a girl, and the day after that it's twins." She said, not noticing Raven's annoyance.

"We don't know yet. So—"

"You don't know yet?" She interrupted, her voice becoming ecstatic. "I mean, you're almost due and the entire city's watching and…."

Oh, why did she leave the Tower again? Now, she had the voice of the barista in her ear. Even if she tried to asked the girl to stop talking so she could enjoy her book, the barista girl would then get upset, and just create some negative energy around Raven. Staying home would have been easier to have peace and quiet….but there was this driving force that wanted her to be close to Garfield as much as possible.

Did everyone in the city forget that she did not like conversations? That she wasn't a very social Titan? And yet, anyone who was close enough to her that wasn't immediately struck down by her powers would just begin to ask her a hundred and one questions about her pregnancy. She started to regret her decision to leave the Tower, but then she felt that familiar sting of energy that made her forget about her annoyance with the barista.

She looked up and spotted her green companion walking over to the door and waving at her for her attention, smiling. Her eyes lit up and she gave him a small smile, as she stood up, interrupting the barista's speech. She covered herself in her cloak before walking away, leaving a small tip on her table. Now, that'll get her to _shut up_.

"So, how was your day?" He asked as she walked out, holding his hand so she wouldn't lose her balance.

"Apparently, I am _supposed_ to know the gender by now, so other's can live in peace." She said sarcastically, as they walked down the street, heading to the ocean. They were not too far into the city, so most of the buildings were small with professional graffiti art on the side.

"Just only a month or two, you'll give them a front page story, and then the press will be over this and focus on something else." He said. "This is just a distraction from their own problems. Pretty soon, there will be a new restaurant opening or some new TV show will start and everybody will be talking about that."

They walked down to the park with grass as far as the eye can see, with a variety of wetland plants, such as purple Japanese Irises, yellow daisies, and a small dock at the end of the other side. There were a few spots where families could set up a picnic or have a nice place to read with a few wooden red benches around the area. This is usually where she would have waited, but she felt like staying inside today.

"I am tired of going into the city, because I hate the attention," Raven said, uncovering her cloak, so she could rest her hand on her stomach. She looked into his eyes. "But I want to be near you." She said biting her lip, as she was trying to hide her desperation in her voice.

"It's okay." He said, seeing her shift her eyes down as she said so. He put a hand on her chin and gently lifted it up, making her looked into his eyes. They stood there for a while just staring at each other before he took a hold of her hand for support. "It's okay."

He then let go and made room for himself so he could transform into a fifty foot pterodactyl, with him lowering his wing down so Raven could climb up onto his back. She held onto his thick skin as he lifted up into the air.

* * *

When they returned to the Tower, they were greeted with a team meeting in the living room, with both Lydia and Starfire sitting in the center of the room, waiting for the two Titans. Starfire was sitting on the couch, holding Lydia's hand, which was covered in band aids. Lydia couldn't look up to meet her parents, as she was somewhat ashamed of her confession to Starfire. Garfield ran over to where Lydia was, and gently stroked her hair, wondering what happened, as Raven slowly walked over to them, already knowing what this 'team meeting' was about.

"We have a situation." Robin said, folding his arms, as he stood by Starfire. "Lydia hurt herself today from missing Raven too much."

"It was not just Raven though, Robin. She was missing _both_ of them." Starfire said, interrupting his train of thought. He put his hand up to stop her; he wasn't in the mood to argue with details.

"The point _is_ that she hurt herself, and if it is because of the fact that both of her parents were out, and couldn't be here to comfort her, then we have a problem." He said, looking over to Garfield. "The thing is, Beast Boy, I don't want Raven out there anymore. I'm sorry, but Raven's vacation starts today."

Garfield was shocked and angered by this news, just like when he heard Raven was kicked off the team when she was pregnant the first time. Raven was quiet and still, as she was expecting the news. However, the familiar wound still hurt her, nonetheless. Here she was, healing, not only emotionally, but psychology, from her past by being with Garfield as much as possible, but that had to end.

She saw Garfield jump up and started arguing with Robin, with Starfire yelling back at Garfield, defending her husband's position as the leader. Then Cyborg started telling Starfire to lay off his green friend, seeing both sides of the situation. Raven only focused her attention on Lydia, who was trying to fade back into the couch and pretend she was invisible throughout the whole ordeal. She couldn't see Lydia's face, but her posture showed her as a defeated person, tired of fighting and tired of asking questions.

Raven took Lydia's hand and guided her away from the room, going into the hallway.

* * *

Lydia still kept her head down, not even welcoming her mother home. It was like she was lifeless, as she was just drifting from day to day. What was going on? Raven closed the door so they could be alone, as she sensed something was wrong. It was more than just the adults arguing. Even more then her little injury. Something was troubling Lydia.

"Lydia?" Raven asked quietly as she kneeled down to her. Raven tried to get Lydia to look into her eyes, but she knew it was a losing battle. However, she still persisted and tried to lift her chin up. "Lydia, you need to talk to me." But Lydia wouldn't budge or make any indication that she would talk.

Raven could still hear everyone arguing in the other room, needlessly fighting over her. She was after all a big girl; she could figure something out for the next few months. Although, the only thing she wanted right now was Garfield's warm green skin to comfort her at the moment. It wasn't Lust. No, she didn't want sex, she just wanted _him_, and him only.

Was there anything more animalistic or needy other then Lust? Love, maybe. Passion, probably. Although, Timid was the most likely candidate. But she wasn't _sad_, she was just _desperate_ to be close to Garfield at all times? Maybe it was Love after all, and it was just that emotion was just craving attention at the moment than any other emotion because of the pregnancy.

But for the moment, she had to snap out of her own world and focus on her pale-skin, green eyes daughter. If only Lydia looked more like her father. Her Demonic genes could easily dominate Garfield's blond hair, Caucasian genes. All in all, Lydia was actually lucky to be able to inherit Garfield's green eyes. However, Raven feared that the new baby would look just like her too, keeping the Demonic look in the family, but there were always cases of babies having a mutant gene and ended up looking like their great-great grandmother instead of their parents. That's how red heads still existed. Maybe Garfield had some European blood in him that could have skip Lydia's genes, but could stick to this new baby's genes?

That was a big maybe.

"Lydia?" Raven asked desperately, holding onto her hands, as she was trying to get her to look up. "What's going on, Lydia? How did you hurt yourself? Talk to me, _please_."

Finally, for the love of Azarath, Lydia slowly looked up into Raven's eyes. "Mama?" She asked in the most hushed voice. "Am-am I a monster?"

Raven eyes widen and the hair on the back of her hands stood up. She didn't move or say anything. She couldn't believe what she heard and yet she had heard it. Out loud. The voices she heard from the Monks were ringing in her ear.

"_She's a monster, I tell you." One of them would say._

"_Now, why do you always complain about Arella's child?" Another would reply. "She is only a child and she already knows her limitations on her emotions. We all made a vow to help out the little Raven child those many years ago, you cannot back out now. She is _not_ a monster."_

Those types of speeches were sometimes said in front of Raven, without any remorse from the person raising the issue. Even though Azarath was a utopia outside of Earth, there were still times someone had to remind her _who_ she was and _where_ she had come from. And now, the thing she had been dreading, had been praying not to come, had come.

"Mama? Did you hear me?" Lydia asked, wondering why Raven wasn't responding yet. The pauses made her start to suspect that maybe it was true.

Raven blinked a few times, before she breathed heavily. "What makes you think you're—you're a _monster_?" She shivered as she said the word.

"Aunt Starry told me about…." She said, pausing before she looked away. "About grandpa."

"_Wh_—_What_? Starfire _told_ you…" Raven tried to ask, but her voice trailed off as she began to realize that Lydia found out about her grandfather. "No, no, no, no…" She repeated to herself, letting go of Lydia's hand and lowering her head.

"Mama?" Lydia cautiously asked, as she was afraid she had gotten her answer. "Is-is it true? Was grandpa a de—a demon? A _monster_? Is….is that why I can't show my feelings? Mama?"

"No, no, no, no." Was all Raven could say, but Lydia knew she was talking to herself and not answering her question. This was not how she wanted Lydia to find out, not now at least. Not now. She's too young to understand what Trigon was or at least too young to have that kind of knowledge.

Raven felt that she herself was too young to learn about Trigon when she was four-years old, but her mother wasn't afraid to tell her then, just young enough to install fear into her heart, but yet, she couldn't feel that fear now, could she? And when she did have these fears about her father, she was made to feel guilty about it whenever she caused destruction to her beloved Azarath. So, Raven didn't want to be like her mother, but she didn't foresee any of her teammates informing their niece about Raven's father to Lydia.

Lydia's innocence was lost forever, as far as Raven knew. Seeing her parents being beaten up in a fight was nothing compared to learning about her 'grandpa', her reason why she couldn't be a normal child in the world. She thought she could get her own way, that Lydia really wouldn't know about Trigon until she was at least a teenager or at least until after the baby was born, but Raven had lost that battle.

"Mama?" She asked, hoping that she wasn't in trouble. "I know I wasn't supposed to ask…but Aunt Starry said it was okay if she told."

What could she tell Lydia? Fuck your Aunt Starfire, she went against my word? No, it wasn't Starfire's fault really, although it was so _easy_ to hate her for that; she didn't know about the Logan's policy about Trigon and when Lydia was supposed to know about him. For all Starfire knew was that this was the first time Lydia ever had an interest in Trigon. But surely, Star should have at _least_ talked to them before she decided to tell Lydia _everything_.

"Aunt Starry doesn't understand what she did," Raven said, as she was slowly coming out of her trance. She looked up at Lydia, trying to find the words other then blasphemies towards Starfire. "I didn't want you to know about _him_….he isn't a father and he sure _isn't_ your grandpa. Don't call him '_grandpa_'."

"What do I call him then?" She asked. Raven was shocked and almost speechless for Lydia's lack of sympathy towards her very emotional, not to mention pregnant, mother. Surely, Lydia knew what she did was wrong? Although, she was taught _not_ to express extreme emotions.

"_N—Nothing_. You weren't supposed to know about him." She said in a stern voice. She stood up and looked over to the living room door. The argument had settled down a bit and she thought that it was safe enough for her to walk in again.

She kneeled back down to Lydia and took a hold of her arm. She released her black energy on Lydia's bruises. She would lecture her later on her behavior, but for now, Raven had to settle at _least_ one problem. They both walked into the room.

* * *

"Guys, come on, work with me here." Garfield pleaded to the team, as Raven walked into the room, with Lydia hiding behind her, as she thought she could stay on Mama's good side if she were to be the obedient little daughter.

Starfire and Robin were both on one side of the couch, while Cyborg was on the other side, and Garfield was standing in the middle, pleading his case to them. Cyborg had managed to changed sides when Robin raised the question what would happen to Raven if she were to go into labor in the city while they were off fighting? Would she be taken to a hospital at that point? She hated hospitals, but she wouldn't have a choice if she can't fly back home and nobody is willing to risk a pregnant woman giving birth on their boat.

But Garfield argued that he could easily get a hold of her and fly her back home. However, Starfire asked if that would affect his ability to be on the team if he is constantly thinking about Raven giving birth when he is fighting? Garfield agreed that it would be hard to _not_ think about her, but Raven was having a hard time as well, as she was coping with a dream she had…oh, what he meant to say was that she was just coping in general and couldn't be without him for some time. Yeah, that's what it was.

"I don't know what to do, Beast Boy." Robin said, with his arms folded as he was about to give his final word on the matter. "Other than to have Raven stay home."

"But…" He said, looking behind him to see Raven and Lydia standing there quietly in the distance. "But…what about this? What if I just stay home too? Huh? Then I won't keep the team down with my own worries and Raven could be near me for these coming months."

"Stay home? Beast Boy, it would only be Cyborg and I out there if you do that. We need at least three people." Robin said.

"Who says?" He challenged Robin. "You guys can take care of those criminals. Besides, _you_ knew I was going to have a leave of absence anyway when the baby was born, well, now, I decided to do it a few months early."

"Robin." Starfire spoke up to Robin, patting his hand and smiling. "If it becomes really chaotic, I can always lend a hand."

"Oh, but Starfire, what about Bruce—" He said.

"I'll be leaving him with Beast Boy and Raven. Do not be silly Robin, let him stay home. They _are_ expecting a baby after all." She said. This seemed to keep him quiet, as he blushed and nodded his head.

"Okay." He said to her before turning his attention to Garfield. "You can stay home."

Garfield let out a 'yes', pushing his fist down in glory, before he ran over to Raven. His cheerfil mood change when he saw her gloomy face.

"What's going on?" He asked. "Cheer up, I get to stay home."

"It's not that, although I am grateful about the news." She said, grabbing his hand and gripping it tight. "No, we have another problem."

* * *

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Garfield lectured Lydia, while she sat on their bed as he was pacing the room. Raven was sitting next to Lydia, but she kept her distance as she allowed Garfield his time to parent. "You were going to snoop in our room?"

"Yeah." Lydia admitted, looking down.

"But then you hurt yourself? And when Starfire was comforting you, she just _decided_ to tell you?" He asked, glaring at her.

"Yeah." She said in a defeated tone.

"You didn't ask her?" He asked.

"No….well, I told Aunt Starry about what happened and she decided to tell me about grandpa….I mean _him_." Garfield folded his arms.

"Did Starfire know that you were not supposed to know about him?" He asked. Lydia didn't say anything. "Well?"

"No. She didn't know." She admitted. He was beyond mad at that point. She had gone against his word, against his warning, and after he just adverted one crisis, with Raven and the baby, he now had a new crisis to face. "So, how bad was _he_? Is that why Grandma Arella lives far away?"

"Lydia, not now." Raven said. "We'll discuss it later."

"But that's what you guys keep saying and I want to know—"

"Lydia, you are _not_ in a position to be complaining right now." Garfield interrupted her. "Mama will talk about it when Mama is ready to talk about it. He is not exactly the easiest person to talk about with us, we don't like him and we didn't want you to know about him until you were older for a good reason."

"But Daddy—"

"—Lydia, please let your father finish." Raven interrupted her, glaring down with her violet eyes to Lydia's green ones.

He breathed in and out, trying one of his calming exercises that Raven had told him to take after his heart attack. He was beginning to feel the stress. "Come here." He said, standing in the middle of the room.

Lydia stood up and walked over to him. Raven knew what was going to happened, she didn't like it, but she wasn't in a position to do anything. She had given him a child, and she promised him long time ago that she was going allow him to discipline her in whatever means he felt was right. They both didn't have the best upbringing in the world, so they could only go by what they thought was right for each situation they faced together with Lydia.

"I'm going to spank you, you understand?" He asked Lydia as he kneeled down to her level.

She nodded. He stood up, breathed in and out, and then grabbed her arm before he started slapping her bottom. He heard her cry out in pain, although he wasn't hitting her that hard, the emotional shock was harming to her more than the physical pain. After a few more strikes he practiced on her, he couldn't take it anymore. There were tears developing in his eyes. He stopped and let go of her arm, turning around to hide his face from her.

"Okay, that's enough, (_Sniffing_) go to your room and meditate. Mama will tuck you in later." He said in a struggling voice.

She said 'okay' and walked out of the room. Raven walked over to Garfield and hugged him tightly. He began to sob softly in her arms as she sway him back and forth, rubbing his back.

"It's okay." She whispered.

"I didn't want to do it." He said, wiping his nose and tears on her cloak. "I never-never was spanked or discipline in a physi-physical manner, and I thought I would never-never do it to her…but I didn't know (_Sniffing_) I didn't know what else to do."

"I know." She said, drawing him closer into her arms, not caring about her attire for the moment.

"I just don't under-understand those parents who aren't-aren't afraid to beat up their kids needlessly. Doesn't it break-break their hearts when they-they do it? (_Sniffing_)"

"I'm sure it does." She said, although she knew it wasn't true for all parents who spanked or even whipped their kids. Garfield was just a different person then they were and she wasn't going to judge other parents who didn't share Garfield's sentiment. Lydia was Lydia, and senselessly beating up a quarter born Demon was not only stupid, but would only end in disaster. Like the ending of _Carrie_. "You'll be home now. That will give us some time to heal and talk to Lydia."

"I-I hope." He said.

* * *

A few days later, when the tension between father and daughter had settled down, Garfield and Raven had a long lecture with Lydia in their room about the importance of trust and patience, and when it was over, they pulled out all the books on Trigon.

"His name is Trigon." Garfield started, showing Lydia a picture of him in his true Demonic form. It was a black and white drawing of him, so the picture wasn't as intense to Lydia as it was for Raven to see. She sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to look too long at each picture. "When he was born, he killed everyone near him."

"Why?" Lydia asked, wondering how a baby could have such power. She sat in the middle of the bed, while Garfield was handing her book after book about him.

"He's just evil. He is greedy, selfish, mean, arrogant, and just a nasty person to be around. He only ever thinks about himself and power. He was born a Demon, and he decided to take advantage of his powers and follow the path of other Demons." He said, trying to narrate the not-so-nice story nicely. "When he met Grandma Arella, he pretended to be someone else. Someone nice."

"But he wasn't." Lydia said, as she saw another drawing of Trigon, this one was a little more detailed though.

"No, he wasn't." He concurred, showing a black and white drawing of Arella in Raven's Azarath History Book. "By the time she found out about the _real_ him, she was pregnant with your Mama, who was carrying the Demon genes."

"Genes?" Lydia asked.

"Yes, genes are….they are the thing inside of you that makes you, you. Like blood or….your dark violet hair." He said, as he untied her ponytail to allow her hair to run wild. He gently stroked her hair with the back of his hand, as he flipped the pages. "So then Grandma Arella ran away from him."

He skipped the pages that talked about Arella's rape, her attempted suicide, or even the implication that Raven was going to bring destruction to Azarath. It was disheartening to know that Raven was feared or even hated for a bit just because of who her father was and what the prophecy was supposed to bring. Raven had told him before that those that hated her were among the minority and she was always defended by others because she was just another victim of Trigon's wrath. However, he still didn't like the paragraph containing the 'controversy to keep the Demon child' in print.

Raven decided to meditate at this point, since she could start to feel the negative energy creeping out of Lydia and Garfield as they had to read about Mama's past. She closed her eyes and tried to tune out Garfield's voice as she started chanting under her breath. Garfield looked over to see Raven in that familiar position. He flipped to another page, showing a picture of Trigon's eyes.

"During that time, your Mama could feel Trigon's powers trying to overtake her. Grandma Arella was a little stricter with her then she is with you." He said, flipping to the page with a picture of Azarath's majestic city scrapers and the serene Temples. "Mama didn't have friends of her own age; she just had the Monks, who taught her how to control her powers and how to be at peace with herself."

"So, there weren't any kids in Aza...Az-rith?" She asked, looking up at him.

"No. Well, I'm sure there _were_ children…but Mama lived in the Temples, not in city with the other children. And it's pronounced 'Az-a-rath'." He said, noting that she had a hard time saying that word. "You hear it a million times by Mama, how do you _not_ know how to pronounce it by now?" He teased, turning another page.

"It's hard sometimes because Aunt Starry tries to teach me _her_ words." She defended.

"I'm just teasing." He said, kissing her head, as he really wanted to get past the spanking he gave her a while ago. "So, as I was saying…"

Garfield proceeded to tell Lydia everything she needed to know about Trigon, at least enough for her age. It was not the most pleasant conversation for Raven to overhear, but she didn't want to leave the room, as she wanted to support Garfield as he went on to explain _her_ heritage for _her_. She was still somewhat mad at Starfire, but decided not to confront her yet about the betrayal she displayed, as she was trying to think positive thought these last few weeks she had with the pregnancy.

But some things were easier said then done.

I'M GOING TO BED NOW. GOODNIGHT.


	39. Trying New Things

IT'S LIKE THE PARTY HAS DIED DOWN A BIT. THE TITANIC ANNIVERSARY WAS VERY THRILLING, I WATCHED SOOOO MANY DOCUMENTARIES ABOUT THE SHIP, THE PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE WORKING ON THE SHIP, THE CREW WORKING, THE CONTROVERSAL DECISION ABOUT MEN GETTING ON A LIFEBOAT, THE ACTUAL DESIGN FLAW THAT LET HER SINK, THE MINI SERIES, THE MOVIE IN THE THEATERS WHILE I WORE ONE OF ROSE'S DRESS THAT MY MOTHER MADE, SO MANY THINGS. IRONICALLY, IT WAS ONE OF THE HOTTEST DAYS IN MY TOWN ON THE ANNIVERSARY.

Lydia was tossing and turning in her bed, she couldn't sleep, _once_ again. It was weird. She was told everything, _everything_ about Trigon. And yet, she still couldn't sleep. Maybe she was just too anxious, as she finally was able to decode the mystery that was her mother's father. Maybe she was just sad because she heard many horrible things about her mother that she would have never imaged. But maybe it was just the fact that she was scared, scared about the tall, red monster with white hair known as Trigon.

But what was there to afraid of? He was dead, he couldn't come back. And yet, she still didn't feel safe the more she thought about his picture she saw in a book. The picture had his eyes glowing red, and the more her eyes refused to sleep, the more she would image the that picture.

She sat up from the bed and began to meditate. She was told to meditate anytime she couldn't sleep. Meditation would help everything.

* * *

Garfield opened the curtains to the annoyance of Raven. She pulled the covers over her head, trying to block the sun. She had only slept with her underwear on, as the weather at night lately had been boiling hot. Well, maybe it was only _her_ who got hot at night. Garfield, wearing only his sweats, slowly walked over back to the bed, and cradled Raven's limp body wrapped up in her blanket.

"Hmmmm." She moaned. "I don't want to get up. Mmmm…How are you so cheerful in the morning?"

"(_Yawns_) Yeah, _I'm_ the morning person." He said sarcastically, as she was usually the one to be up before him. "It's twelve o'clock, Rae. Not exactly morning anymore. I wanted to get you up when I woke up at eleven, but you looked so innocent sleeping…despite your snoring."

"Mmm." She mumbled as she closed her eyes and tried to drift back to sleep.

"Come on, Rae, it's a beautiful day out, and I read that fresh air and walks are good for your health during this late in the pregnancy." He said.

"Hmph." She replied back. "Is Starfire still here?"

He lowered his ears and hesitantly answered, "No. She took Lydia and Bruce out to the park…you know, I wish you would make up with her soon. It's not her fault and you know that."

"I didn't _say_ it was her fault—"

"—But you implied it, and Star could sense that hostility. Lydia knows about Trigon now. There is nothing else we can do. We were slowly removing that band aid to see if Lydia could handle that information, while Starfire just came and ripped it off for us. Be sensible."

"I _am_ being sensible."

She could hear the birds chirp, the wind banging against the window, the ocean getting intense with the wind, and all she just wanted to do was shoot those goddamn birds. Her hormones were off the chart, she became aware that she was more moody then before. The pain. The non-stop pain this baby made. During the day, the cramps and headaches would get to her, during the night the baby would start kicking for many hours. Just another few weeks of this crap and she would be done. D-O-N-E. If she didn't want to listen to the stupid birds, she certainly wasn't going to listen to Garfield.

She wasn't as abrasive with Starfire as Garfield was claiming; she was just avoiding her for the moment. Okay, maybe it was a little cruel to Star, but Raven didn't know what else to do. She was already in a bad mood, and had to take extra meditation sessions. In fact, the only reason why she was sleeping in late was because she was meditating for six hours last night, before she finally went to sleep. And meditating before bed always made her sleep better. And sometimes longer.

She already explained to Garfield that for the moment, with her hormones and all, she should just avoid Starfire for a while, because she didn't know how to talk to her yet without sounding a tad livid. And all of sudden, _she_ was the unreasonable one for trying to avoid her. Maybe she _was_ being unreasonable. But she just wanted to take one thing at a time, and confronting Starfire was not the best idea with these stupid cramps she had going on.

"Come on, Rae." He whispered in her ear. She let down the blanket just enough for her to see his face. However, as annoying as he seemed to her five seconds ago, when she looked into his forest green eyes, they seemed inviting to her. All those unpleasant thoughts about shooting the stupid birds and Starfire were now interrupted by the sight of his beautiful eyes and thin lips as he smiled. "There you go. I'll make you breakfast."

Before he had a chance to move away, Raven leaned her head forward and pecked him on his lips. He smiled and stayed a little longer to kiss her back. Before he had a chance to move again, she kissed him deeply, and wrapped her arms around his shoulder, dragging him closer to her. The blankets were still wrapped around her, but Garfield quickly found the opening of the blanket and decided to throw it off to the side.

"No—don't." She said, pushing him away when her body was exposed. She tried to cover her voluptuous breast, which had doubled in size over the course of several months. She could only hide her breast, as her belly had gain thirty-three pounds within the course of the months. Garfield came closer and tried to distract her with his tongue as he tried to grab the pillow away from her. "Gar—Garfield, I know what you are doing…"

"_Raven_." He said in a disappointing tone. "Come on, you're _beautiful_. Don't hide it."

"You _opened_ the curtains; I don't want a helicopter to get a picture of us." She said, trying to hide her blushing face with one of her hands. He rolled his eyes; he knew that was the least of her worry. He drew closer to her to kiss her cheek.

"Like a helicopter has ever spied on _us_. We're the boring _ones_, remember? The helicopter would be on the other side of the Tower, spying on Robin and Star. Come on, I see that you're in the mood." He said mischievously. "You know you can't suppress Lust for long." He kissed her other cheek. "Come on, I bet you _Kitty_ there has been beating you up all day and night lately. Wouldn't you want some kind of _release_ from that pain?"

"Kitty?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I'm still experimenting with names. You know, Kitty, one of the characters from _Pride and Prejudice_? She was Lizzie's sister in the book. Just as silly as Lydia, but more of a follower." He said, defending the name. "And if it's a girl, she would _literally_ be a sister to Lydia."

"Well, remember now, that there _was_ someone else _named_ Kitty, someone who went on a _date_ with _Robin_ at one time. Now, do you think _Starfire_ will appreciate that name?" She asked.

"Oh, right." He said, realizing the drawback of the name. "But I thought you were mad at Star?"

"Yes, _now_. But I'm not going to name our child out of spite." She said. "Plus, Kitty is short for Catherine and it's also the name of a baby cat. I'm not naming my child after an animal."

"Okay, _Raven_."

"I mean animals with cute names." She said.

"So, I'm guessing Tiger is out for a boy?"

"(_Sigh_) Beast Boy—" Before she finished, he once again attacked her with passionate kisses on her cheek. She couldn't argue with that action.

He made his way to her lips, pulling back her hair with his hands as he slowly descended down to her neck, then to her chest. She was under his spell, and so she closed her eyes and allowed him to continue as she gasped out with pleasure, occasionally blowing up a candle or two on her shelf with her black energy.

His hands managed to snatch the pillow away from her, but then she stopped him from going any further as she tried to cover her breast with her hands and turned away from him. Then, he became irritated.

"Ugh, come on Rae, I've seen you naked a million times. What difference does it make that you're pregnant?" He asked, a little frustrated that she wouldn't just give in to her emotions. It had been _months_ since he had any action, and it would probably be months before he got another chance again.

He wished he could blame her for not feeling Lust sooner in the pregnancy, but he knew he couldn't. It wasn't her fault there were issues concerning her father and Lydia earlier. Although, some of it _was_ her fault for not being in the mood when he would try his best to get everything right. And then all that was just ended up to be wasted effort. But he knew she just needed time, and was surprised this morning about her new change of attitude.

So, when something as arbitrary as her being afraid of showing her whole body to him and had halted their time of blissful action, that kind of pissed him off.

She sat there silent, not wanting to explain herself. "Something—something about you seeing _everything_ just seems wrong. I don't know what it is. It _feels_ wrong somehow." She said, trying not to look at him.

"We've done it before with you pregnant."

"Yes, but we have never done it this late in the pregnancy." She said.

They sat there for some time, just staring uncomfortably at the linen on the bed—which was a nice silk fabric, nothing cheap—as there didn't seem to be anything else to stare at. He shifted his weight and saw her shift her weight as well. Her body and emotions wanted to be close to him at this moment, but some kind of emotion was preventing her from achieving her other lustful needs. And he didn't care what that emotion was—it could be any of them really—he just hated that particular emotion at the current moment. He stood up and walked over to his drawer, trying to find a shirt to wear. He heard her make a small whimpering noise, as she was disappointed he just wouldn't let her have her pillow and thought that he was quitting.

"Don't cry, Rae, I have a solution." He said, pulling out one of his large white, button-up, long sleeve shirt with a small collar. "Put this on. It should fit." He threw the clothing to her.

She turned around and put it on herself. She was able to button down all the way to the top of her belly. "It won't go any further." She said, seeing how baggy it was in the arms, but very tight around her chest.

"It's not _supposed_ to fit. It's one of my clothes, not your maternal stuff. I want to see your belly, if I can't see your breasts." He said, taking off his sweats to reveal his purple boxers.

"Is—is it safe, with this far along?" She asked, putting a hand on her firm pale belly, looking down. "I mean, I _am_ really big—"

"Rae, you don't think I _haven't_ studied positions during our down time?" He told her, as he fixed his eyes on hers, smirking.

"I'm not doing anything _weird_." She quickly said, as she traced her fingers across the gray stretch marks on her belly.

"Don't worry." He said, as he gracefully walked back to their bed.

"I mean it, I've heard of weird things that the other's have done and (_shivers_)…"

"Let's not talk about the others. Let's talk about us."

He hugged her tightly while he continued to kiss her again as he traced his hand on her thigh. The hand slowly descended to the upper thigh before he was able to reach her underwear, pulling it off of her with just one hand. She allowed her legs to lift up a bit so he could take the underwear all the way off. He tossed the underwear off to the side.

He quickly took a breather, and quickly undid his own underwear and threw it off to the side. She sat there silently, although her emotions were all chaotic. She decided to go ahead and lie down on the bed as she waited for him. He caught her eyes looking up at him from bed, and he was inclined to follow her. He started to kiss her again, as he tried to position himself on top of her.

"Oh…..ow…." She said quietly, trying not to ruin the moment. However, she was well aware that his body weight was squishing her stomach. "(_Kiss_) Garfield, no….this will not do…(_Kiss_) you're crushing me."

"You can be on top instead." He said, sitting up and with that he helped her to sit up before he lay down himself, kissing her hand.

She moved to the side and could feel all the water in her belly shift as well. Although it didn't seem like much, just sitting up without having her morning tea just felt like a chore to do. She moaned with pain and annoyance as she tried to lift up one of her legs in order to dominate Garfield.

"Are you okay?" He asked as her weight on him was a little more then what he expected, but he kept quiet.

"_I_ control it?" She asked, even though she knew the answer. She held onto his hands, squeezing them tightly as she said so.

"Well, _that's_ kind of the idea when you're on top." He said, kissing her hand.

"You don't look comfortable." She said sadly, noticing his breathing was becoming heavily. She widened her eyes and slowly got off of him, trying not to move away too much in case she caused an injury to him or to herself for that matter. "I shouldn't be on top of you anyway; you have a heart condition."

"Well, it's not a heart _condition_. Jeez, you get one heart attack and you're forever labeled with a 'heart condition'." He said, as she lay beside him, still holding onto one of his hands.

"Well, _that's_ kind of the idea when you get a heart attack." She retorted back. He smiled, but now they were back to square one. "What should we do?" She asked, as she started kissing the side of his neck and ear, with her emotions all clicking at the same time. He pushed her hair back with his hand and moved her chin up to hers so their lips would meet.

She was comfortable where she was, so she couldn't be on top, but Garfield didn't want to do anything _behind_ her, as they both didn't feel comfortable—well, let's just say—_not_ facing each other during the moment. Hey, nobody said they were the _feistiest_ couple in the group. Compared to Robin and Starfire, the Logan's were an old Victorian couple who would read the newspapers for fun.

"So, what were you saying about positions?" She asked, defeated, becoming weary of him taking his time to answer.

"Let me try _one_ more thing." He said, trying to figure out how he was going to do this right.

He tried to pick her up bridal style, and he succeeded, although it should be said that he was superhero with well-defined muscles and could carry weight heavier then Raven's pregnant belly. But it didn't seem as sexy as he first thought it was. He still struggled to carry her five feet away from the top of the bed, and situated her on the bottom of the bed. She was barely keeping her balance, as her legs were dangling on the edge, pulling her closer off the bed.

Garfield quickly got some pillows for her to lay on and as well as to sit on as Garfield's legs were longer then the bed, and he needed to be equal to her _height._ Raven understood what was going on, but she was a little afraid of this different routine. Was it going to be the same? Would it hurt with this angle?

When Garfield stood in front of her, the candles brightening his lime green skin, he could see the fear in her eyes as she looked at him as if he was a stranger to her. "Hey." He said comfortably, as he leaned forward to kiss her again. "Don't be scared."

She sighed in relief, "I'm not." She said quietly as he pulled away a little, but still had his head close to hers.

"I can't start until you say your chant, but you're scared." He said, as he brushed a piece of hair away from her face. "It's just like missionary…only I hear it's a little _more_ intense. But I'll be gentle."

"I know you will…but Lust might _like_ it harder, and she won't feel the pain during, but _I_ will afterward." She said, grabbing his hand as she was trembling a little bit with fear. They both heard one of their heavy books on the top shelf being thrown across the room and land violently on the floor. She cringed at the sound of her uncontrollable emotion.

"Hey, hey," He said softly, as he continued to brush her hair away from her face. "Don't pretend Lust is the one that makes the demands. She's just an emotion; you're the person who is experiencing it. I know who's who in the moment."

"Do you?" She asked, smiling at his gentle and comforting words.

"Yes, I do," He said, backing slowly away from her. "I'll be gentle Rae, we _have_ too be; because I don't want to break the TV again." She didn't want to smiled at his stupid joke, but she did.

This eased her mind and allowed her to breathe in and out without any problems. She closed her eyes, continued her breathing and added, "Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…"

He stood up, carefully picked up her legs to his side, and drew closer to her.

"Az—AWW…." She gasped as she noticed a difference in this position. She squirmed just a little bit in her place, but grabbed onto the sheets on either sides, as she was getting used to this new angle. It was like a whole new world, although it wasn't, it was just that Garfield would take a while warming up before he could make her feel what she was feeling now.

"Rae?" He asked, hoping he didn't break anything. Although, he could hear some of their furniture shaking in it's place. He was a little frightened by this, because the bed was one of those furniture pieces. "Rae? Why's the bed shaking?"

She kept her eyes shut as she tried to focus her energy somewhere else, somewhere outside of the room. "Az-azarath, mentrion, zinthos…" She slowly repeated as she envisioned the light bulbs right outside of the hallway. Garfield heard glass shattered behind the door. The bed stopped shaking.

He let her repeated her mantra a few more times, before he made another movement towards her. She winced again as it was too much force applied all too soon, but she didn't want to say anything as she knew that Garfield wanted this more than her Lust did, and Lust is a pure emotion. However, he noticed her discomfort.

"Rae, I'm _hurting_ you…I don't know if I could—" He said, pleading with her.

"Azarath…no, I'm fine, just try to be a _little_ gentler….mentrion…I'll be fine…zinthos…"

"Rae—"

"Garfield, please…azarath…trust yourself…mentrion…" She said, trying to reassure him and herself for that matter.

He slowly let her legs go, which caused them to lower just a little bit before she bent her knees and allowed her lower thighs hang lifelessly as he gently came closer to her again. He would have loved to hold onto her pale, long, muscular legs, but he figured holding her leg up was only adding more pressure in the angle, so he had to let go. He could still see her wince, and could hear the endless noise of various things breaking, but he tried to push that out of his mind. She still kept a tight grip on the sheets as she continued her chant.

He came closer to her a little faster each time, and even though he was gentler with his touch, he gave a little more force. He was not as hard as he was when he started, but he was slowly getting there. For a moment or two, he would open his eyes so he could see the damage in the room, and also so he could look down to his grey bride as well.

Her hair was becoming a mess as the mixture of heat and sweat was taking it's toll on the straight roots. She still had her arms spread out, still clutching onto the sheets, although her grip was loosening up as time was passing by. Her face wasn't as sour as it once was, as her lips were focusing on saying her mantra over and over again.

When he got closer to her again, he reached out his hands to her stomach and slowly traced his fingers on her large grey bump. As he gently massage her belly, she started reacting to his touch, and moved her hands up to her stomach, intertwining her hands with his. She lifted her head up a bit as she began to move along with him.

Her head was finally clear of all negative thoughts: The betrayal of Starfire, the disobedience from Lydia, the pain on being kicked off the team again by Robin, even though it was expected, and Garfield's heart condition that only worsen when they opened the old wounds of her father. In this current moment, all she could think about was a black void that was filled up with Garfield's warm embrace.

It took her a while to get into that trance, but when she did, she could participate with Garfield as much as she could, to make up for lost time. However, her trance wasn't a complete conversion, since she was still interacting with the real world, so things, something as small as a light bulb or as large as a whole room would break from the overloading energy she had in her body.

Garfield leaned a little forward just a bit, so he could kiss her cheeks as she lifted her head up a little higher so she could meet him halfway. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they both continued to move as one, naturally going faster when it seemed right. She allowed him to kiss her lips a few times, interrupting her chant for a bit, before he moved down to her neck, sucking on the sweet sweat that her body was naturally creating.

She didn't stop him when he took his hands off her belly for a second so he could undo the buttons on her top. She also didn't stop him when he opened the shirt, exposing her ample pregnant breast and he moved his hands up to them, slowly tracing them with his fingers. He knew he would win that battle one way or another. She was about to say something concerning her top being exposed, but he pressed even harder into her, heightening her senses, and she was forced to go back to her chanting as the feeling was overwhelming.

Not that that was a bad thing; but he knew the tricks in the book to get what he wanted without her complaining. He called it a compromise. She called it being 'under his spell'. Later, she would complain that he had broken one of her rules she had set before they started, that he had exposed her breast, and he would just grin at her, knowing she wouldn't do anything about it, because she would allow him to get away with it. But she would bring it up just to sound like she had some control over him, which she did, but there were two things he took control over; their child's upbringing and what he did in the bedroom.

Raven one time said that maybe it was some physiological reasoning behind his submission. That maybe since he didn't have a mother or father growing up, and was on his own for most of his life, he liked Raven's controlling behavior because he _wanted_ to be told what to do for once in his life. And maybe since others had told _her_ all her life about what to do or how to behave, she now wanted to control the situations in _her_ own life.

But it was nice not to _always_ be the expert on everything in their lives, and it was nice to let Garfield do the research on what to do in bed then instead of looking it up herself. She would feel uncomfortable looking at models—looking at _others_—doing things she preferred not to look at because all she wanted was Garfield and not the image of some _model_. She never dreamed of being that intimate with someone else, but Garfield changed that attitude, so why would she want to look at someone else instead of the only man she changed her life for?

So, she said nothing when he slowly massaged her breast in his hands as he continued to kiss her neck. In the back of her head, she knew that he probably was going to _that_ anyway. She pushed harder into him as she tried to cry out her mantra with a dry mouth. She curled up closed to him, which didn't help her back, but for the moment she was a slave to Garfield's touch.

"Az…azarath…" She said as spit was recovering from the corner of her mouth due to its dry state.

Her head was closed to his and when it came to the climax, she threw her head up in the air and reclined her body back down as she loosened her grip on his neck. She cried out a 'zinthos' as she lied back down on the bed. Garfield was still kissing her neck when he reached his climax and bent his back backwards, lifting his head up as well, as he still had his hands on her breast. He could hear a few more light bulbs outside breaking. But he knew that that wasn't all the damage outside of their room. He would try to clean up before the others would come home. Hopefully, the TV _wasn't_ one of the objects that broke.

They were both breathing very heavily, and stood still for a few minutes, trying to soak up the moment, wishing it would never end. After Garfield was finished, he slid Raven up with his arms to the top of the bed. He lied next to her, as she opened her eyes and allowed a smile to appear. When they were both quietly breathing on their pillows, they lay there in the nude, facing each other, and just staring into each other's eyes.

"Will…will you try to talk to Starfire?" He finally asked, hesitantly just a bit. She could have bite his head off, and complained that she hadn't had her morning tea yet and that now wasn't the right time.

However, instead, she combed his damp hair back with her hand and whispered, "Maybe."

"Did-did I hurt you at all?" He asked, hoping there wasn't any pain that came with their pleasure.

"Hmm, only at the beginning." She said, with him sighing sadly. "But…you made up for it afterward. Don't be hard on yourself."

"I wish I could just take the pain away." He said, looking down at her belly. Before he would know it, he or she would start kicking again and it would irritate Raven. "And I'm still a little worried about the delivery."

"But you have done it before and all you have to do is to make sure I am comfortable." She said.

"But Star won't be there to help."

"What, why?"

"Because you're fighting with her." He informed her; she gave him a solemn look and looked away. "You are too stubborn to make up with her."

"I'm still hurt that—"

"—Rae, I know. Trust _me_," He said, grabbing her hand in desperation. "_I_ didn't want Lydia to find out this early either. I wanted _you_ to have time to get over your…your _dreams_, and _then_ maybe years later we could have told her. But that plan didn't work out and right now I'm afraid for her well-being. This kind of thing could scar a child, to find out how cruel or murderous their relatives are to others and to the family. But Starfire didn't know our plan and she usually tells Lydia stories about _my_ past anyway. Maybe she didn't realize we were trying to keep it a secret for a _reason_."

She looked back at him and nodded, but still not wanting to admit they're own faults in the situation for keeping these type of things a secret from her team about Lydia's upbringing.

"Plus," He added. "I think Starfire sees Lydia more as _her_ younger sister rather than our child. She probably doesn't know what an 'Aunt' does, and just treats her like a sister. Please, you are too far along to be fighting with her. _Please_, just say sorry and make up."

"But I don't want Starfire to think—"

"—I know, Rae. You told me a _million_ times since I've been home. You know you're just creating bad mojo for yourself when you do that—don't deny it—I can see it whenever you have trouble meditating sometimes."

"You're very observant." She said, impressed.

"Hey, I'm staying home now, so I watch you meditate sometimes, and I can tell when you're having trouble." He said, gently putting his right hand over her belly and massaging it softly.

"I'll make up with her in time, I am just still a little irritated. Give me time." She said, closing her eyes and trying to drift away into a slumber. But Garfield was quick to throw the blankets off the bed.

"Oh, no you don't. You're not going back to sleep. You're going to get up and have breakfast—well, _lunch_ actually—and you're going to take a walk with me." He said and she groaned at the thought of getting up and moving around.

"Oh…" She said, moaning as she could hear those stupid birds singing again.

SO YEAH….


	40. It Seems All Is Well, Until

SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY….I KIND OF WAS CAUGHT UP IN EITHER WORK OR SPILL DOT CON, A MOVIE SITE CONVENTION AND THEN I WENT BACK TO WORK, BECAUSE ANOTHER PERSON AT OUR DEPARTMENT QUIT AND WE'RE BACK TO FOUR PEOPLE AGAIN. RECAP: LYDIA LEARNED ABOUT TRIGON, GARFIELD WANTS RAVEN TO FORGIVE STARFIRE, AND RAVEN STILL HATES BEING PREGNANT.

A few days went by, and one morning while Raven and Garfield were in the process of getting up, Lydia was sitting in her room, looking out the window. She was trying to meditate, but found it impossible since it only made her sleepy after twenty minutes or so. Mama warned her not to meditate _too_ much in one session. Lydia was still young, and she couldn't yet master the art of meditating for hours without falling asleep.

Her brother or sister was going to come soon, in just a matter of weeks, but she still felt empty after learning the truth about her grandfather. So, she resorted to staring out of her window for a bit. It was then that she looked down at her stuffed animals and spotted her least favorite teddy bear with huge black eyes with a red bowtie.

She felt this strange sensation to grab the bear and gripped it tightly. The image of Trigon's eyes kept flashing through her mind, from the awful drawings she saw when she was looking through Mama's books, and her face swelled up from the oncoming tears in the corner of her eyes. Where did these tears come from?

She looked down at the bear. The bear's bowtie irritated her, as it reeked of that flashy red color, and she wanted to hurt the bear for that reason. She grabbed the bear from the floor. She had a burning desire to inflict pain on anything that irritated her at that moment. She starred at the bear for quite some time and then angrily threw it across the room.

It landed on the other side, and she slowly stood up, glaring at the bear. "Lions, Africa, Titan's Tower…" She began to chant, unaware of what she was doing, as she unleashed her black energy on the bear.

She lifted the bear up into the air as she wiped her eyes to prevent herself from crying. She glazed at the bear as if it just had insulted her and she was angry. Angry at the world for its mistreatment of her parents. Angry, because Daddy had it hard, but at least he had a positive outlook on life. Angry, because Mama didn't have it easy either, and learning about Trigon had made Lydia realized that it was all _his_ fault.

It was his fault that Mama could never be the typical mother that Lydia would see on TV, the kind that would openly show affection to their children everyday instead of just occasionally. It was _his_ fault Lydia had a power that she had to learn how to control by concealing her _own_ emotions.

It was never said by either Daddy or Mama, but Lydia realized that Trigon was the reason she was being excluded from either public or private schools, due to her destruction nature. She realized that she wasn't a wizard or a witch, like she had hoped when Daddy would read her those _Harry Potter_ books, wondering if it was historical account instead of simply fantasy. No, she was Demon. A _monster_. Before she even had a chance to use her powers, _they_ had already become a handicap for her livelihood.

_Oh, a Disney movie is on, but oh no, the mother died! Lydia's crying, Lydia, go meditate. _

_Oh, look, it's Lydia's favorite dinner, but oh no, Lydia's getting too excited. Lydia, go meditate._

There could never be a high or a low without her parents looking her way and telling her to go meditate. And even when she thought she could get away without meditating, she was proven wrong when something _would_ explode in the air or something would catch on fire. No, her parents weren't forcing her to be cruel; it was a _necessity_; a _ritual_ that she must perform every time life would get a little too exciting or depressing.

She slowly ripped the arms of the bear, watching the seams come undone by her energy. Her eyes glowed bright red, but she wasn't aware of this body transformation.

"Lions, Africa, _Titan's_ _Tower_!" She shouted at the bear and the poor stuffed animal burst open in a small contained black explosion. The stuffing from the bear rained down in front of her.

She walked over to the remains of the bear and lifted up the torn head that was cut in half which still had it's one beady eye staring at her. She pulled the eye off from the stitching and threw it across the room. Her eyes stopped glowing and went back to their normal green irises, causing her to realize what she had done. She dropped the remains of her bear and gasped, as if she didn't mean to cause any harm to her bear at all.

She didn't quite understood what had happened, although she remembered it all, and _yet_ she didn't mean to wreck havoc on her stuffed animals. She sat down, trying to figure out why she had acted that way.

"Lions, Africa, Titan's Tower…" She softly chanted, this time to calm her down.

She had never felt this way before, to be so angry with _everything_ wrong with the world. And it just wasn't any typical anger, like having a temper tantrum over not getting her way, no, this anger inside of her was so strong that it felt like it had a life of its own. She had this burning desire to cause destruction to anything near her, and that's when she had spotted her least favorite teddy bear. And when the bear burst into fluff in front of her, it just felt so _good_ to release that energy.

She tried as calmly as possible to chant her soothing mantra, while she rewound the whole ordeal back in her head. It was then that her stomach churned and she leaned over to the side and suddenly threw up her heavy dinner from the night before.

"Daddy!" She cried out, surprised at the sudden turn of her health. "Daddy!" She wiped her mouth with her sleeve and ran downstairs to her parents' room.

* * *

"Lydia what's wrong?" He asked, as she came charging into their room. Garfield had his daily sweats on as well as a white shirt, while Raven had put on her long, loose, purple, sleeveless dress.

"I don't know…I…" Lydia tried to say, but not quite understanding it herself. "I don't feel good. I threw up."

"What?" He said, feeling her forehead to see if it was warm and looking at her cheeks to see if they were pale…well, _paler_. "When did this happen?"

"Just now."

"How long have you been feeling this way?" He kneeled down to her.

"Just now."

"What? Did you just start feeling bad after you threw up?"

"Y-yes." She said, looking down.

"Well, do you know what caused it?"

"No, I-I don't." She lied, keeping her eyes peeled to the ground.

"Lydia," Raven said softly, walking closer to her. "What were you doing?"

"I was…well, I was meditating…I was just meditating…I wasn't doing nothing…" She looked back up to Raven.

"And?" Raven asked.

"Uh…well…I was meditating…I-I guess so…" She said as she looked down at her feet. "That was it…I was just meditating…"

"_Lydia_." Raven said, knowing full well that she was not telling the whole truth. "What happened?"

"Uh…well…um…uh…" Garfield raised his eyebrow.

"Lydia, if there is more to the story, we need to know." Garfield said, trying to get her to look back up. "What were you doing?"

"Uh…um…well I kind of…used my powers." She said, looking into his eyes. "On one of my toys."

"What do you mean you 'used it on'?" He asked, not understanding her meaning.

"I…uh…ripped it apart…" She admitted.

"What? Why would you rip it apart?" He asked, disappointed. "Lydia, toys are not meant to be broken. You can't go on breaking your toys. Why would you do such a _thing_?"

"I-I didn't mean it though!"

"How can you not mean it? And what does this have to do with you getting sick?"

"I don't know!"

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Garfield asked, getting angry. Lydia was getting overwhelmed and she was about to cry. Garfield softened his tone. "Lydia, tell me what happened."

"Well…I-I got up, played with my toys, and then I started to get angry. _Really_ angry. But I didn't mean to _kill_ my bear! But, it just happened! And-and then that's when I threw up!"

"Why did you get angry?" Garfield asked.

"I-I don't want to say." She said, eyeing her mother before she looked back at him.

"Why?" He asked, Raven stood still.

Raven nodded to herself, understanding what was going on. Garfield looked up to her. "Do you know what's going on?"

"Yes," She said, putting a hand on her belly as if it was an instinct to protect the unborn child from dealings with Demonic situations. "Unfortunately."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Lydia," Raven asked, ignoring him. "What were you angry about?"

Lydia thought back, "I….I-I don't remember."

"_Lydia_."

She looked up to her mother. Those sharp violet eyes stared down at her, and Lydia couldn't help, but figured that any lie she could make up would be caught instantly by her mother when she said the words and she would only get into more trouble. She bit her lower lip and whispered, "_Him_," under her breath. Lydia didn't have to say who 'him' was, as Raven knew what she meant. "And the world." She added. "The world for letting bad people live."

"Wait, she doesn't mean T-R-I-G-O-N?" He asked, looking up to Raven. Lydia couldn't spell yet. Raven nodded.

"It's her anger, it's becoming stronger." She said, looking back to him.

"What do you mean?"

"She's not just angry, she's experiencing her _extreme_ emotions. Not the normal kind, the _dangerous_ one. It's Rage. " He stumbled backwards a bit and was speechless by the news.

"What?" Lydia asked, confused, trying to decide which parent to turn too. "What's going on? It was an accident…Daddy, I didn't mean it…(_turning her head_) Mama, what's 'rage'? What do you mean 'take over' me?" She asked, as she slowly walked over to her.

Garfield stared at Raven, giving her a disapproving look, as if he was saying, 'No, don't you dare', while he slowly shook his head. She stared into his eyes, understanding what he was asking her. She kneeled down to Lydia and gently combed her hair with her fingers.

"We're just worried about you; your powers are just acting out," She said, trying her best to conceal the truth in her facial expression. "Tell me, did you feel _good_ when you destroyed the bear?" She asked softly.

"I…I don't remember." Lydia lied, looking down at her feet. This was a trick question, she knew it, either she would tell the truth and be ashamed about it, or just get caught in a lie.

"Lydia, that is not true, I can tell when you're lying." Raven said. She brushed her hair for a little longer with her finger.

"But…but…" She said, opening and closing her fists. "I would get in trouble if I tell you."

"But it's okay Lydia. I understand. In fact, when I was a little younger then you, I—_ugh_." It was then that Raven felt a sharp sting in her stomach. This caused her to place one hand on the floor, sitting down and cradling her stomach with her one other hand. She cringed at the sudden vicious pain. "_Ugh_…"

"_Raven_?"

"_Mama_?"

Lydia didn't know what to do other than to get out of the way when Garfield came running up to her mother. He took her by the hand, kneeling forward to see her face. Lydia looked on in terror, as she had never really seen her mother in despair before. Lydia thought that _she_ was the cause of the problem, as if her powers were tormenting her mother's health somehow. Her parents _did_ say something about emotions 'taking over her'. Was this what they meant? Lydia knew that she could create destruction by focusing on a subject, but was this a new type of destruction that she had never known before?

"Breath, come on, breath," Garfield whispered in her ear. "One, two, three, four…one, two, three, four…" Raven breathed in and out after every counting sequence. For a moment, they both had quite forgotten about their conversation with Lydia, possibly forgotten all about Lydia together, even though that was not their intention.

"Daddy, what's going on?" Lydia asked.

"Nothing, Lydia dear…one, two, three, four…it's just the baby, don't worry." He said, as he was juggling between talking to the two girls.

However, Lydia had not been exposed enough to her mother's condition and out of all the times Raven had suffered from the pregnancy, Lydia was not present. So, Lydia did not believe her father. Part of it was the lack of education on the Logan's part to prepare their daughter for what was to come in terms of the labor and the other part was that Lydia had never really seen her mother in such a weak state. But whenever she _was_, Raven was always strong enough to brush it off, and go on acting as if nothing had happened. Lydia bit her lip, thinking that she was guilty for whatever was happening to her mother.

"Mama, I can't make it stop!" Lydia screamed out, becoming flustered.

"Huh? Lydia what are you talking about?" Garfield asked, looking her way.

"Daddy, it-it's me. I-I can't stop! I'm hurting Mama with my powers! It's just like that with-with my bear! I'm gonna make Mama _explode_!" She screamed out, hysterical, as tears began to roll down her face.

"What?" He said, a little amused by his daughter's confession. He let go of Raven's hand and crawled over to Lydia's spot on the floor. "Lydia, you're not the one who's causing Mama to be in pain right now."

"Yes, I am!" She shouted, convinced of her guilt. The mirror on the wall slowly cracked its reflective glass.

"No, you're not—"

"—I am too! And Mama's gonna explode if I don't stop! But I don't know how!"

"Lydia," He said gently, but in a loud tone. He put a hand on her shoulder and gently massaged her neck. "Listen to me, please. It's not you whose causing the pain, it's your baby brother or sister."

"No, it's not! Aunt Starry told me—"

"—Lydia, forget what Aunt Starfire told you for a sec, it doesn't matter right now. The baby is just kicking Mama. Really hard. That's what babies do to remind the mother, 'hey, I'm right here'. Or to tell them, 'something's wrong'. It's just a small kick, it will pass. Relax, Lydia." She sniffled and began to dry her eyes with her hand. "Relax."

"But, but, but, why are you holding Mama's hand, like-like something bad's going to happen?"

"Well, sometimes the baby can kick _really_ hard, and it can hurt Mama. I'm just holding her hand to reassure her it will pass." He said softly.

"Gar-Garfield," Raven said, raising her voice as she felt an uncontrollable warm liquid rushing down her legs. "I hate to interrupt," she said, wincing as she was breathing heavily and crawling a few feet to them. She didn't want to scare Lydia, but it was well past the point to be calm in front of a six year-old. She grabbed Garfield's hand and squeezed it tight as she whispered in a frightened voice, "My-my water broke."

"What—wa—water broke?" He shrieked as he jumped up, causing her to let go of his hand. "But-but, you're not due for weeks!"

"I—(_Gasp_) I realized that, but—"

"—We need to get Cyborg—" He said, picking up Lydia and pacing the room as he went through a mental list in his head.

"—I was going to say that—" She said, placing a hand on her stomach.

"—And I'll get hot towels and—"

"—Garfield—"

"—It's too early—"

"—There isn't any reason to panic—"

"—Robin's going to kill me—"

"—Why would he—?" She asked, wondering what he meant by that statement.

"—Starfire can look after Lydia—"

"—Well, didn't we think—?"

"—Although, it might be cool for Lydia to see. Maybe. She might think it's gross. Lydia?"

"Yeah?" Lydia asked, not sure what was going on.

"No, no, it's not a good idea." Garfield said to himself. "Never mind." He told Lydia as he gently bounced her up and down, a bit nervous to tell her what was going on. Raven was still gripping onto her stomach as she was trying to get his attention, reaching her hand up in the air as if he was a teacher and she was a student, while he continued to pace the room.

"Gar-Garfield—"

"—I need to make a few phone calls….We need to get a crib! We don't even have a crib! How does that happened? I thought we were given a crib as a present from Flash's wedding. Were we? Or was that something else? It's too early, too early…"

"—Garfield—" Raven dropped her hand in defeat and gripped it onto her stomach, resting her head on the floor.

"—No, no, I just remembered where the crib is located. It's still in Cyborg's car!—"

"Daddy, what's going on?" Lydia asked, confused.

"Lydia, Lydia!" Garfield decided then to tell Lydia what was going on, otherwise she would continued to think _she_ was the cause of Mama's pain. "Mama's going to have the baby. You're going to be a big sister soon!"

"Really?" She squealed with glee, but stopped herself short. "It's coming?"

"Lydia, don't call your brother or sister 'it'."

"Then what should I call…it?"

"Call if baby…because I don't know if it's a 'he' or a 'she'."

"So," Lydia said, looking down. "Is Mama in pain because of the baby? I'm not hurting her?"

He tried not to chuckled, because one day that would be a possibility for Lydia to construct damage without her knowledge, but he let out a small smile. "No, Little Lydia, you're not hurting Mama. (_Kisses her on the cheek_) Don't think about that bad things happened to us is because of you. Let Mama and I worry about that. Okay? Right Rae?" He finally looked over to his grey bride lying in pain on the floor as if she was about to pass out. "Rae? Oh, right! Right! Right! Get Cyborg! Right. _Shit_, I need to get my act together."

"Oohhhh, Daddy you said a bad word." Lydia said, acting as if he was going to get in trouble with anybody else in the house for using such foul language during the most appropriate time. Shit, Raven was probably going to say worst in just an hour from then.

* * *

Garfield informed the other Titans over the communicator that Raven was going into labor. Robin, Cyborg and a few friend's from Titans East were in the middle of a battle with a second-rate villain. This particular villain was causing millions of dollars of destruction on the city and this required extra backup. The city was _already_ on a budget as it was, and when there's _any_ type of trouble, including property damage, the mayor knows _who_ to call.

As joyful as the birthing process was the first time around, Starfire decided to opt out of being Raven's mid wife at this time. Star was still a new mother and she didn't feel comfortable being away from her boy for many hours, unsure of when Raven would deliver. Also, being stuck with a pregnant Raven for hours didn't sound like a fun time.

So, Garfield was going to go solo on the whole delivering, with Cyborg occasionally coming in to give moral support. However, since she was early, Raven was rushed to the infirmary and Cyborg's job became a _little_ more complicated.

Raven was lying on her side in the bright infirmary room, hearing the constant _beep, beep, beep, beep _nearby her. She didn't have enough energy to sit upright and meditate, not that it was a party the first time she was in labor, but proper meditation would help instead of lying on her side like a flopped fish. It was different this time. She was only 34 weeks, or barely eight months, in layman's terms. Her contractions were relentless. Cyborg had given her medication to try and stop the contractions from coming, trying to postpone her the whole process as much as possible, hoping that it was just false labor, as it tend to happened sometimes, and everything would be resolved by the next day.

However, as the seventh hour went by, Garfield just knew something was wrong, while Raven continue to insist it would pass. The world seemed to slow down as she would feel each new contraction overwhelming her body.

"Come on, Rae, you got this, one, two, three…" Garfield whispered as she leaned forward and gripped his hand on tight, bury her other hand onto her stomach. After a few more seconds, it past. She dropped her head on her pillow and continued her chant quietly to herself.

By now, Garfield was already in his labor attire, wearing a new clean T-shirt and clean sweat pants, preparing at any moment to deliver. He walked up to the sink and washed his hands, for the fourth time this hour, as Raven watched him somberly.

"Why do you keep on washing your hands? They are not coming today." She said, hoping the more she said it, it would come true. "Nothing is going to happen."

Garfield had been trying to maintain a positive attitude, knowing how Raven absorbs energy in a room at a time like this, but each contraction was wearing him out. He wanted to stay hopeful, to stay positive, but the weight of the world was on his shoulders to try and keep his pregnant Demonic wife calm while trying to prepare for a possible delivery.

He reached for the towel, drying his hands yet again. "I'm just making sure I am clean. I'm not really known for my cleanliness, you know."

"Nothing is going to happen though. We really need to finished that conversation with Lydia, she must think that she is some kind of freak and—"

"Rae, please." He said softly. "Let's keep it positive, remember? Breath in (_inhaling_)….and breath out (_exhaling_). Please, say your mantra." As she followed his example and started to calm her aura by breathing in and out a few more times.

"You're right." She said. "You're right. _But_ this baby won't be born today. I just need to relax and try to meditate when I get the chance. It's this on-going stress I have been having throughout this whole pregnancy. With Lydia, with Trigon." She said, looking down. "It's just catching up with me, that's all. I have gotten over this, and in time everything will be fine."

He turned around. "I'm sure it will. You're right." He said, trying to keep her spirits up. "As soon as you feel up to it, we can try and meditate together."

She sighed as he walked over to the door. "I'm just gonna check up on Lydia, okay?" She didn't answer, but merely stared at him until he closed the door.

She looked down at her belly, laid her hands on the top, and closed her eyes as she tried steady her breathing and cleared her head. It was awkward trying to semi-meditate on her side without falling asleep in this position, but she had to improvise for the moment.

_Strange_, she thought, _when I was labor with Lydia, I could feel her powers growing by the minute, but this child, I could _only_ feel his presence. Well, at least I think it is a _him_, I could be wrong again. I can't feel this child's power growing inside of me. So, if his powers aren't growing, I possibly cannot be in labor right now. Maybe my water didn't break at all. Maybe I was mistaken and that warm liquid was me having an accident. I have been having an over reactive bladder lately anyway. And these contractions _aren't_ contractions, but just strong stomach cramps. That's all. That's all. Okay, okay, I promised Garfield I wouldn't do this. Find your center…and…_

"Azarath, metrion, zinthos…" She began chanting quietly to herself.

SORRY IT'S SHORT, BUT I THINK IF I PUSH THIS OUT, IT WILL FORCE ME TO START WRITING AGAIN, BECAUSE I HAVE JUST BEEN EDITING FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS INSTEAD OF WRITING. AFTER I GOT BACK FROM VACATION, THE OTHER GIRLS WENT ON VACATION, AND I HAD TO WORK MORE. AND A COUPLE OF THOSE DAYS HAD SOME REALLY, REALLY BAD GUEST THAT I COULDN'T GET OVER UNTIL I SAW A MOVIE THAT NIGHT. AND I'M GETTING PREPARED FOR THE DARK KNIGHT BY MAKING A BATMAN JUSTICE LEAGUE COSTUME TO WEAR. BUT LET'S HOPE THIS WILL GET ME BACK TO WRITING.


	41. It Was the Worst of Times

OH, BATMAN WAS AWESOME! ALTHOUGH THERE WERE SOME PLOTHOLES HERE AND THERE, IT WAS STILL AN AWESOME MOVIE! ALTHOUGH, IT JUST SUCKS THAT SOME GUY WENT CRAZY AND SHOT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE, AND BESIDES THE MANY POOR SOULS WHO HAVE DIED AND THOSE WHO HAVE SURVIVED, THE NEWS MEDIA PROBABLY WANTS TO BLAME BATMAN FOR IT, EVEN THOUGH BATMAN IS FAMOUS FOR BEING AGAINST GUNS. IF YOU WERE AFFECTED BY THE AUORA SHOOTINGS, I AM SO SORRY THAT IT HAPPENED, AND EXTRA SORRY THAT IT HAPPENED AT A GEEK EVENT. BECAUSE THE SHOOTING COULD HAVE HAPPENED ANYWHERE, AND YET ONLY MOVIE THEATERS ARE FEELING THE PRESSURE INSTEAD OF EVERY PUBLIC PLACE.

BUT HERE'S HOPING THAT THINGS GET BETTER.

The next day, seventeen hours had passed, and Raven woke up, after having a rough night sleep. It was uncomfortable being surrounded by huge machines in one room, all of them making a quiet sound that irritated her to say the least. She protested to Cyborg about staying there, insisting that she should go back to her room, since nothing had happened during those seventeen hours, but it was still too early to tell.

"This is ridiculous, I can heal myself. I know how to fix my _own_ problems with my _own_ body." She complained as Cyborg was going over her charts from the night to try and find the source of the problem of what was causing her contractions.

"Uh-huh, and what happens if I let you go? Do you think B will take that lightly?"

"You let me worried about that." She said, in her usual monotone.

"Nope, can't do that. You can't have any more stress put on you."

"As opposed to what, my cheerful mood right now?"

"That's because you haven't had your morning tea." A voice cried out from the doorway. Garfield walked in, with his white labor attire on, holding one cup of tea, one cup of coffee, and holding a book under his armpit. He sat on by her side on the bed, gripping onto the mattress with his one free hand. He wasn't his usual joyous self, but he wasn't as worried as he was yesterday. He was just trying to stay positive for Rae's sake.

"No, you're wrong; I'm still going to feel this way after my tea." She said, when she reached up for her cup. "I don't like being trapped in here."

"Rae, be reasonable. I know this isn't what you wanted, but when unexpected things happen—"

"—it was false labor, that's all it was." She reasoned.

"Okay, okay, but we have to make sure everything is alright first." He said, looking over to Cyborg, who was still checking her charts.

"Being in here is undoing what you guys are trying to do; keeping me calm."

"Why are you being like this? Just last night, you were the one who was trying to calm _me_ down. Did you meditate?"

"Yes. Why am I even here? I don't believe anything is going to happen."

"Well then, if you think nothing is going to happen, then why are you stressing out?"

"Because." She said quietly.

"Because why?"

"Never mind." She said quietly, as she sipped her hot tea.

Garfield looked into her eyes. "Raven? Please." He pleaded. She breathed in and out.

"Because," She began, looking down at her cup. "Because the longer I stay in here, I also become more aware….that this baby…." She looked up into Garfield's eyes, not able to finish her sentence. Her strong stoic manner was slipping from her and she was trying very hard to lower her emotional wall slowly, without it crumpling down. She didn't have to say any more for Garfield to understand what was going through her mind. Her face said it all.

He put down his coffee and book, before grabbing her nearest hand, holding it tight, and leaning forward. Cyborg saw this happening and decided it was best if he should step outside.

"Listen to me," He whispered softly as he rested his forehead on hers. "Forget what I said yesterday…nothing is going to happen today except you getting better…"

"…but what if?—"

"—Remember what you always say, 'it's pointless'. It's pointless to worry about something that might not even happen—"

"—But just yesterday, you said we should be prepare—" She said, whimpering.

"—Shhh. I told you, forget what I said yesterday." He whispered to her calmly, before he embraced her, and ran his fingers through her hair. "We're going to get through this. Nothing is wrong with you, just your stress level."

They both were quiet, only allowing their soft breathing and the sound of the heart monitor to fill the room. As they broke apart, Garfield put his one hand on her belly, and began to rub it softly, as he reached for the book by the drawer.

"What's that?" She asked, pointing to the book, trying to get back her emotionless tone.

"It's _A Tale of Two Cities_." He said smiling, as he knew the book would take her mind off on things. "I'm trying to read it, but it's so frustrating. I've only read two pages, and I have no idea what the hell is going on. 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times'….can he just make up his mind?" He told her, hoping she would take the bait.

"Well, it _does_ take place in two different cities." She said plainly.

"Huh? Well, I guess that makes sense. But, couldn't he just say that instead?" She smiled, knowing what he was doing.

"It's Charles Dickens. He is a little complicated to read." She said, as she took the book away from him. She opened the book, started reading and then stopping at each paragraph to explain to Garfield it meant.

Garfield's little distraction worked, and Raven was able to spend three hours in the infirmary. However, Garfield's couldn't contain his own anxiety, as the hours grew longer, and there still weren't any signs of her contractions stopping anytime soon.

* * *

"Come on, little Bruce, come on and stand up for us." Starfire encouraged her 21 month-old son out in the living room. His jet black hair with a few brown highlights was growing longer every day and he was sporting a bowl hair cut, his chubby cheeks were developing dimples every time he smiled, and even though he had stood up and walk a few times, Starfire would pretend each time was the first time.

He chuckled and stood up, but had forgotten how to walk in that moment, so he just stood there and looked up at her. Starfire was trying to stay positive, given the current circumstances with her friends. Cyborg wouldn't say what was going on, which put Robin in a bad mood because he _always_ had to know what was going on, and if it was endangering his friends, he didn't want to deal with it. Garfield was too busy being terrified and anxious, so he wasn't the best person to talk with at the moment.

And then there was Lydia. She seemed terrified more then what was going on with her mother, but no matter how much Starfire would ask, Lydia would become quiet and start chanting her mantra, as if the mere mentioned of any problem caused her to go into a meditation trance.

Bruce seemed to be the only happy person around here. And he should be. His parent's tenth anniversary was right around the corner, but everyone seemed to forget about the party as soon as Raven's water broke. Well, technically the anniversary was still a few _months_ away, but that doesn't stop Starfire from planning, planning, and planning for the most perfect party ever for her Titan friends and family.

"Mum-ma!" Bruce cried out as he tried to take a step forward. He succeeded his first attempted and tried again with his other foot. Again, he succeeded and continued to make his way slowly to his mother.

"Oh, I got you!" She exclaimed as she threw him up in the air and caught him. Then she pressed her nose onto his and rubbed it gently as she started to hum.

Bruce laid his head gently on her shoulder and began to play with her hair as Starfire bounced him up and down. She wanted to visit Raven, but Garfield strongly recommended the others, excluding Cyborg, should stay away, as he was certain that their negative energy would only damper her mood.

"Gor-for-rah, for-rah," Starfire sang softly in her Tamaranean language. "Zig-fla, oh-trah, oh-trah. Gor-for zul-gluc, glorf muck, zynicor…..oh-trah, oh-trah."

"It's pretty, what does it mean?" A voice asked softly from behind her. It was her masked husband who had just come back from a workout, as it was made clear from his wet hair and bright red face. He reached over and kissed her on the cheek before taking a tired Bruce away from her.

"It is just a simple nursery song to young ones. It means, 'My light, please be calm in my arms. Do not stir so hard.' It is a very loose translation though." She said, reaching out to grab his hand. "Did your workout make you feel better?"

"Only for a little while." He said, letting his smile fade. "And then I got the word that Cyborg was upping her medicine to stop the contractions after reviewing her charts."

"They have not stopped yet?" She asked concerned.

"It seemed like they stopped for a little bit, but they are beginning again. It's been a day and half now since she's been in there."

"I am sorry." She said somberly. "I wish I could be there, but if something is wrong, I will only be in the way. I know that last time, I was only useful at the very end of her labor and maybe even _then_ I was not that helpful at all, it is best if I stay away during this stressful time. Won't the Earth medicine help her? Is there nothing else we can do?" She asked, concerned.

"Nope." He said in a biting manner. "Beast Boy won't let us visit her."

"That is not true." She scoled. "He said we can see her when things have—what he said—'cooled off'. She will be fine, Robin."

"That's not the point—no, what I mean is, yes, that is to say, I hope everything goes well, but—if _we_ want to go see our friend and teammate, we should be able too. Beast Boy is not in charge of Raven. Raven is in charge of Raven. This is just another power trip he likes to do. Just another way of him claiming his territory. Sometimes, I just want to yell at him, 'yes, I get it, she's yours!' "

"Robin dear," She said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You cannot be the leader in everything we do. I do not think friend Beast Boy is doing this as you say 'a power trip', remember a few weeks before _our_ wedding? Mad Mod had hypnotized me, causing me to go into a trance and it took you days before you found the cure? Well, if I remember correctly, I remember a certain _someone_ was acting just as extreme and crazy as our friend Beast Boy is right now. Did you not scold at our friends at one point? "

"Yes, but I was under stress because of the wedding and I have apologized since then. But the point is—"

" 'The point' is that maybe this is just a way for Beast Boy to cope. Maybe he believes it is best if everyone should give her—what is it called—'the space'? Remember, this is the hardest for him then it is for anyone else. He knows the danger more than anybody."

He sighed and rocked Bruce back and forth. "I know, I know. If anybody would know what to do in this case….they probably have had this talk before. It just seems to put everybody in a bad mood, and we can't be out on the streets long, fighting crime, knowing that our friend is in critical condition. I get reports, but I really don't know anything unless we can see her. She is not only our teammate, she is our _friend_. What if something goes wrong and _she_ is the one to suffer?"

"I believe the Earth medicine will work."

Robin sighed and continued to rock Bruce. "Why did they have to have another kid?" He whispered under his breath. "Why are they doing this _again_?"

"Robin!" She scoled.

"I'm not saying I don't support them…I'm just saying, (_sighed_) they already have a lot on their plate with Lydia. I thought that Lydia would be _it_. But it isn't so."

"But that is still not a nice thing to say about your unborn niece or nephew _or_ about our friends."

"I know, I know. I sound like a monster. _But_ if _you_ were Raven—and you know how she is—would you want to complicate your life like this by having two kids?" He asked.

"Robin, that is not fair. I mean, I have Bruce now—"

"—No, Star, I am talking about how you would feel if _you_ were Raven. Knowing Raven's past and all, and the fact that she and Beast Boy are both creating some kind of hybrid child—something Trigon did to Raven's mother—would you still be this happy about kids?" He asked. Bruce was very calm in his arms, trying to fall asleep, and yet sometimes intrigued to look around. Starfire folded her arms.

"I do not think about myself being someone else, let alone Raven. I would not know what to do if I was her, because I am not her. However, I do _know_ that _we_ were trying for so long to create our own little Earthling and Tamaranean hybrid." She said, before her eyes started to swell up. Realizing he hurt Star's feelings, he put a hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. "Oh Robin, sometimes you can be such a—"

"—A what? A _zorrgnarg_?" He said to appease her, trying to soften his voice.

"Do not swear in front of Bruce." She scolded for saying that foul Tamaranean word. "But yes, you are acting like _that_."

"I'm really trying not to, but when I can't control a situation or when something goes wrong, I always assume the worst. I don't know how to be mellow." He said, and Bruce started to cry in his arms as he was getting hungry. "If only we could visit her!—"

"—Well, we cannot right now, so would you please give me Bruce—"

"—No, no. I can figured this out!" He said, trying to rock Bruce back and forward.

When this did not work, the next thing Robin did was check his diaper, and as Starfire watched him trying to figure out what was wrong, she began to think about what Robin had said. She did not understand Earth customs or for that matter, a human's anatomy, so what if Raven was in some kind of danger they were unaware of at the moment? Would the Earth medicine helped her and the baby out? Or would things only get worse? Should Starfire cancelled her and Robin's anniversary due to this uncertain time?

* * *

Raven had Garfield set up candles around the infirmary and had her bed sheets pulled from her own bed to replace the plastic covered ones. After some time had passed, Raven was once again calm and started behaving like herself instead of a whiny hormonal pregnant lady. Well, for the _most_ part. Garfield left her alone for a few hours so she could meditate in peace. However, his heart weighed heavy and his lack of sleep for the past few nights became apparent to the others. While he may have calmed Raven down, he had a lot of uneasiness himself.

He stopped in on Lydia in the living room, where she was playing the Gamestation with Cyborg, or that is to say, _trying_ to play the Gamestation. The game was a bit too hard for her, and her mind kept wandering away from the game, causing certain things to break in the living room. The Titan's made sure she was constantly busy, however that was a little hard with a six-year olds attention span.

"I lost _again_!" She screamed at the TV monitor, resulting in her throwing the controller with her powers.

"_Lydia_!" Garfield yelled at her.

"Daddy, it's too hard! It isn't fair! Uncle Cyborg is cheating!" She complained as the pile of video games disc lifted up from the ground and began to spin in a circle.

"Lydia! It isn't Uncle Cyborg's fault you fell off the cliff!"

"B, it's okay." Cyborg said to him, trying to calm him down.

"Lydia, are you going to play nice?"

"No, because it isn't fair!" She complained.

"Go to your room and meditate." He said calmly, trying to control his temper as well as his daughter's.

"But Daddy—"

"—Lydia, I know why you are frustrated." He said, a little softer. "So, if you're too frustrated, maybe you should take some time off from the game for a while and cool off. You're not in trouble, I just want to make sure you behave yourself and learn how to control your emotions." He said, pointing to the flying disc hovering above them. "I don't want this to happen. And neither does Mama."

"But Daddy—" She pleaded as she began to feel guilty about angering her father.

"Okay." He said calmly. "If you can say your mantra for a few minutes, you can have a small time-out at the kitchen table. And when you're done, come back and apologize to Uncle Cyborg."

"But Daddy—" However, she was silenced and was forced to obey him. She walked to the kitchen table and started repeating her daily mantra about things that made her happy.

"B, you didn't have to do that." Cyborg said as Garfield took a seat next to him, switching to a trashy reality TV show. He could see the deep dark circles under Garfield's eyes. "How long have you been up?"

"Since Rae's water broke."

"You didn't sleep last night?! But that means you've been up for two days now. That's not healthy, B, you have to get some sleep!" He told his green friend, but Garfield didn't respond back, almost as if he didn't care what his friend's concerns were. "Why are you doing this to yourself? I can watch Rae if you want me too—"

"It's not that, I just _couldn't_ sleep last night. I didn't like my empty bed. It was too big." Cyborg didn't believe him. "My mind was racing, worrying too much. About her. About the baby. It just doesn't make sense why this is happening."

"You're doing this on purpose, B, and it's not healthy. _If_ and _when_ Raven does go into labor, you're going to have to stay alert when it happens."

"I've done it before, _Cy_," He said in a biting tone. "I know what to do when the time comes."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what?"

"You are deliberately not getting any rest and stressing yourself out!"

"No, I am not—"

"Yes, you are! That's what you do. Both of you guys do it!" Cyborg said, raising his voice. "You go on hunger strikes or won't sleep or act all moody when the other one is in the hospital or slightly injured."

"I can't believe—why is it that Lydia can have an attitude with you two minutes ago, but _I_ can't be just a _little_ moody myself?" Garfield defended.

"Lydia is six-years old, you're her father—"

"Shh! She can hear you." He hushed, looking up to see Lydia chanting in the corner. He became aware that maybe their argument was a little too loud and possibly Lydia was listening in on them. They were both quiet for some time, just watching the catty women on the TV, accusing each other of being 'fake'.

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything," Cyborg said quietly, putting his hand over his face and messaging his temples. "It's just that I already have one friend in the hospital, I don't need to worry about _another_."

"Daddy, can I come back yet?" Lydia asked from across the room.

"Five more minutes." Garfield answered.

"Man, let the girl play her game. We all got to cope in our own way." Cyborg whispered over to Garfield.

"Well, then this is _me_ coping."

"Man, no _wonder_ you had a heart attack. Always worry about this and that or that and this. As your doctor _and_ a friend, I'm telling you, you need to get some rest. I don't get it, just yesterday you were the one trying to calm Rae down and now…you've become _emo_ all of sudden. All hope is not lost." Cyborg said. Garfield looked over to him and tightened his hands into a fist as they lied on his side.

"Emo?" Garfield snapped, in a low voice, clenching his teeth. "Cy_, my wife is in pre-term labor_. Can I be just a _little _bit 'emo'?"

"Hey, it's alright to be upset," He said, backing away a bit. "I understand, but you have to realized, you're not the only one who is affected by this." Cyborg nodded his head over to Lydia. "And then there's _me_. I'm having a hard time too. I don't want to bring any doctors in, because I _know_ how Rae feels about them, and _I_ know what we are doing, but if something happens during her delivery—and by this point, it probably will—it will be on our shoulders, mainly mine, and I'm afraid we are not up to the task."

Garfield looked up at Lydia and tried to ignore Cyborg's comments, as it only reminded him of what was to come. To any normal woman in labor, a doctor would make sense at a time like this, but Raven wasn't normal. She had interviewed a litter of doctors back a few months ago, just to see if she was doing everything she can do for her thirty-something-year old pregnant body, and they all had a negative aura around them that didn't sit well with her. It wasn't their fault they had negative energy, they had a stressed-out job, but she knew that a foreign doctor would only complicate things, instead of helping her.

However, that was back when everything was going smoothly, when the baby was still healthy. Now, priorities had changed.

"I'll ask her about the doctor." Garfield said, while he rose up from his seat. "Lydia, you can play your game again, just _try_ to be a good sport about it."

He walked out of the living room and made his way to his room, trying to get his own space for a while.

ALTHOUGH SUCH A TRAGEDY HAS COME TO PASS, THERE IS ALWAYS THE OLYMPICS TO CHEER ANYONE UP. WOMAN'S GYMNASTIC WAS BEAUTIFUL, EVEN THE OTHER TEAMS BESIDE THE USA, I FELT SORRY FOR THE RUSSIANS WHEN THEY LOST BECAUSE THEY SEEMED TO BE UNDER A LOT OF STRESS TO DO WELL, AND JORDYN WEIBER'S POINT WHERE SHE BROKE DOWN WHEN SHE REALIZED SHE DIDN'T QUALIFIED FOR THE INDIVIDUAL.

I WENT TO THE WINTER OLYMPICS TWO YEARS AGO IN CANADA, BECAUSE IT WAS SO CLOSED TO CALIFORNIA AND I SAID, 'WHY NOT?' WE ONLY SAW COUPLE'S FIGURE SKATING WITH CRAPPY SEATS, BUT IT WAS STILL AMAZING AND I MET AMAZING PEOPLE. IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY, CANADIANS ARE SO NICE. I RECOMMEND ANYONE WHO LIVES CLOSED TO LONDON TO TRY AND SEE IF THEY CAN SEE AN EVENT. THEY USUALLY SELL TICKETS FOR CHEAP AT THE DOOR BEFORE THE EVENT STARTS, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO FILL THE SEATS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. PLUS, YOU GET TO BE IN THE SAME BUILDING OF THE FAMOUS ATHLETES.


	42. Labor At It's Worst

THIS WAS HARD GETTING OUT FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS, BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE OF THE SUBJECT MATTER. BUT ALSO SCHOOL AND SORTS. HALLOWEEN IS ON MY MIND, PLANNING MY BEAUTIFUL HAUNTED MASION.

THE THING I AM REALLY UPSET ABOUT NOW, IF ANYBODY ELSE KNOWS, THAT DOUG FROM THATGUYWITHTHEGLASSES IS GOING TO STOP MAKING NOSTAGLIA CRITIC VIDEOS. WOW. THAT JUST STOPPED MY HEART. FOR ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T KNOW, IT IS A REALLY POPULAR WEB SERIES, THAT I HAVE FOLLOWED FOR FIVE YEARS NOW, AND IT'S LIKE A POPULAR TV SHOW, IT JUST GOT CANCELLED, OTHER THEN HE THOUGHT IT WAS TIME AND THAT HE HAD RAN OUT OF SOURCE MATERIAL. SORRY TO BE A BUMMER, BUT IT'S LIKE IFJK ROWLING KILLED HARRY BY BOOK FOUR, IT'S LIKE JON STEWART STOPPED DOING THE DAILY SHOW. I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FOREVER, BUT IT WASN'T.

It was three in the morning, on a cold, quiet night. Raven was trying to sleep on her side, as Garfield was playing on a portable Gamestation, sitting in a chair next to the bed. He yawned every so often, but never could feel drowsy enough to shut his eyes and rest himself. Whenever he looked up at Raven once and a while, he noticed she was moving around a lot in her one spot, never seemed to lie still for more than a minute. He would then go back to his game and dare not to look over to where the clock stood, as it was bad enough to hear the teeth-grinding noise of the second-hand moving, _tick tock tick tock_.

He turned off his gaming system to see if he could try to get some sleep again. He had already tried an hour ago, and it ended with him trying to change into different animal forms before giving up. When he couldn't take it anymore, he turned the damn game back on, trying to get distracted by mild amusement and busy work.

He transformed into a cat, leapt up onto the bed, and curled up a few inches away from Raven, before he closed his eyes. But his mind started to wander.

He had asked Raven if it was possible that they could bring in a qualified doctor, and despite her feelings about doctors, she was surprising willing to accept the idea of a doctor in the room. However, that only frightened Garfield himself because if Raven _started_ to comprised, that meant she was losing faith. He called up a few specialized doctors, but none of them were willing to come over until the next day, since it was late at night when he called, and it was during a holiday weekend. He didn't even know what small holiday they were supposed to be celebrating to have Monday off.

He called all the hospitals in Jump City. He was given a _different_ answer from them. And _that_ answer just only pissed him off enough to throw the phone across the room. He gave up looking for anyone else at around eleven because it became so late, and decided to try again in the morning. Yes, even the 'helpful' hospitals.

"Mmm." Raven moaned, before she slowly opened her eyes. She looked behind her and saw the green cat cuddling close to her. For a brief moment, she felt at peace, but then the unsettling sore pain came back, and she remembered why she hated being pregnant.

She slowly lifted herself up, sitting on the edge of the bed, and cradling her stomach as she was fighting yet another contraction. She used her black energy to unhook herself from all the tubes and wires injected into her body. She was given some strong medication, but that didn't seem to be working. She started chanting her mantra slowly, almost as if she was singing a soft melody.

"Rae?" She heard a voice asked behind her. As soon as he felt her moving on the bed, he transformed back into his human form, sitting upright.

"Get off me." She whispered in her monotone voice before going back to her chant.

"But, but I'm not touching you." He said, confused.

She held onto her belly as her face cringed from the agonizing pain. She could feel the baby moving again, slowly descending its little body down her stomach.

"Azarath!..." She screeched out. The heavy pressure on her lower stomach forced her to kneel on the ground, with one hand supporting herself on the floor, and the other gripping her stomach.

"Raven!" Garfield shouted, jumping over the bed and kneeling by her side. "Is—is there anything I can do?" She didn't answer, but instead leaned forward and rested her forehead on top of the hand that was firmly planted on the ground, swaying her hips back and forth, and moaning as she did so. "Rae?" He asked her desperately, hoping for an answer.

Her hair fell over in front of her hand due to the fact that her head was upside down, and it blocked her face as well, she stopped swaying her hips for a minute. He knew what was going on, but yet at the same time, he didn't what Raven was thinking, as her face was hidden. She was kneeling forward, still, and silent.

"Rae?" He asked softly. There was a spark of black energy in the pitched black room before the lights turned on, and Garfield could see Raven's face more clearly through the loose locks of her hair. "Rae, we'll-we'll get through this." He said, breathing heavily. "Come-come on, let's take a walk. It will help with the pain."

"No-no, no-no…" She stuttered, shaking her head.

"Rae." He said.

She reluctantly nodded her head and allowed him to help her stand up. She felt like she didn't have a choice other than to listen to Garfield, since she just wanted the pain to stop. Of course the pain wouldn't stop. He slowly guided her out into the hallway, with her limping a bit and holding onto his shoulders for support.

They walked up and down through the corridor halls, all the way through the wee hours of the morning sun. By then, Raven was escorted back to the infirmary.

* * *

Bruce was sleeping soundly in his small crib, with his tiny thumb in his mouth, which was causing him to drool. Starfire looked down at her little angel, having a quiet moment with her son before Robin would wake up and start playing with him. Fortunately, both her boys were still sleeping. Usually, Robin was up first, but she had a hard time sleeping that night, and she woke up early, causing her to either read some Earth books or watch her baby sleep. Bruce was by all rights a toddler by now, although he could didn't know how to fully talk yet, but Starfire kept seeing him as a baby.

He lifted his head up a bit and then yawned before he stood still again. Everything was peaceful and quiet, until there was a soft knocking on the door.

"What time is it?" Robin quietly said from under the covers, slowly creeping out to see the clock. "Six—six fifty-five?" He sat up, with the blankets exposing his bare chest, and rubbed his eyes.

"It can't be—?" Starfire questioned more to herself then to Robin, but looked up to his way as if he would have the answer for her.

"Don't worry Star. I'm sure it's nothing." He said, although despite that he quickly got up and put on a dirty t-shirt on the floor next to the bed from the night before.

He leaped up to answer the door, but found himself pausing before he slowly turned the knobbed. It was only Cyborg.

"Oh, man, Cy, it's just you, I thought for sure…." Robin said before looked up and noticed Cyborg's grave expression. "…had happened." Finishing his sentence. Cyborg didn't have to say anything for Robin to understand what was going on.

"I did everything I could to postpone it….but the girl is in labor as we speak." Cyborg said somberly.

Robin stood there in disbelief, as Starfire quietly clasped her hands over her mouth and gasped in the corner of the room. She slowly walked over to Robin and tried to lay a hand on his shoulder, but he didn't react.

"(_Sigh_) Even with our advanced medicines and technology," Cyborg said. "I couldn't stop her from getting the contractions. I don't know _why_ the baby is coming so soon, but we have to wait until she gives birth and then I can do a full examination to see what went wrong."

"_Wait_ and _see_?" Robin said with irritation. "Why aren't you down there now, monitoring her birth instead of coming up here to inform us—!"

"Robin." Starfire whispered softly, and this made him quiet again. She looked up to Cyborg, assuming he would answer Robin's question anyway, despite his tone.

"I will go down there…soon…but I'm just following orders, you said you wanted every update as soon as possible." Cyborg said.

"Right, I forgot." Robin said, he softened his voice. "Sorry. How long has she—?"

"Hours." He finished.

* * *

Raven lied in the dark infirmary, on top of the bed, lying on the backboard pillows, with only a few candles lit around the room. She liked the darkness and the scent of vanilla and lavender in the air. Also, she was sweating profusely and preferred to stay cool in the darkness rather than the bright fluorescent lights beaming down on her. She was constantly inhaling and exhaling, trying to remain calm, but she could still feel Garfield's energy in an anxious state. She _could_ ask him to try and remain calm himself, that way she wouldn't feel his energy, and it would relieve pressure on his heart, but she was too busy focusing on her own breathing.

She exhaled once more, but the baby was relentless, and her face tightened up from the pain and curled her head up to her stomach. Garfield was washing his hands once again when he heard her shout out her chanting and rushed over to her side. He let her squeeze his hand tight while he put a wet cloth on her forehead, trying to make her more comfortable.

"(_Inhaling_)Doc—doctor…doctor, Garfield…..(_Exhaling_) where's the doctor?" She asked, as she was trying to continue her breathing, with sweat beads forming around her mouth as she spoke.

She was told yesterday that he was going to get a professional doctor to oversee the birth, since it was premature. Before, she would have been opposed to the idea, but _now_…it didn't matter anymore about her fears and complaints about Earth's medicine and their doctors. All that was irrelevant now. She would have gladly had multiply doctors in the room, giving her orders and large doses of that nauseating medicine if it meant the safety of her child.

"I've asked all the hospitals in the city, and only two are willing to send out their doctors." He lied, as she added more pressure when squeezing his hand. "They're coming, they're coming." He whispered.

"I wish they would come (_Inhaling_) faster…_oh_ _Azarath_!...(_Exhaling_)" She wailed on, allowing her black energy to travel through the room. Although the energy was mainly destroying small objects such as plates, cups, and pieces of paper, it was destroying so many around the two that it sounded like a parade of fireworks being set off around them.

"Shh, shh, it's okay…you must be calm…it's okay…"

"—Oh _Azarath_….(_Inhaling_) _mentrion_…." She whimpered, breathing faster than before. "…(_Exhaling_) G-Garfield!..."

"I'm right here, Rae…it's okay…"

"(_Inhaling_) N-no, it's not _okay_…(_Exhaling_)…the _baby_ is c-coming…"

"Shhh. Please, Rae…save your energy." He said, taking the wet towel from her forehead and dipping it into the bowl of water that was next to him. A small paper cup in the corner of the room exploded.

"T-the room…?"

"Rae, don't worry about it…nothing is destroyed yet," He lied to her, as he reapplied the wet towel on her forehead.

"Where's the doctor!"

"Rae, remember to breath—"

"—_But the doctor_—?"

"—He's coming, he's on his way…"

"No-no he's _not_—" She shouted, squeezing his hand once again. A paper cup was heard popping out its melted plastic on his left side.

"I-I just got a call that-that he's on a helicopter right now…" He said, panicking from the sounds of the small explosions in the room, to tell her the white lie.

Could she even hear those explosions? It just sounded like quick _pops_ or slightly larger _booms,_ nothing that he hadn't heard before in dark rooms with her, just the normal amount of destruction. He stood up and took out his communicator.

"Cy, _where are you_?" He almost shouted into the mic, trying to maintain a calm composure. Cyborg said he would help, but when he went to go tell the others about the news, he had been gone far too long in Garfield's opinion.

Just then the door opened, and at first it seemed like that Cyborg and Starfire were standing in the doorway, with clean clothes, sanitary gloves and mouth masks on. However, as they made their way inside, Garfield could see Robin leaning up against the wall in the hallway, with little Bruce in his hands and Lydia by his side. Robin tried to look behind Garfield for a quick second before he resided back to the wall. They shut the door.

"G-Garfield, (_Exhaling_)…_don't leave me_!" Raven shouted, throwing her arms up and blindly waving them around in the air. He walked back to her side and caught her hands, allowing her to squeeze his hand again.

"Shh, I'm-I'm not, don't worry. Look, the doctors are-are here…" He tried to say calmly, but was stumbling a bit. She pretended she noticed them, but kept her eyes closed and continued to breath, not realizing that the two people standing in front of her weren't professional doctors, but her friends.

"So, what's the update?" Cyborg muffled through the mask.

"She's getting close. She wants to push." He said, before she moaned again and took away his attention from his friends. He rehydrated the wet cloth on her forehead and gracefully dragged it around her face. "It's okay." He whispered.

"_Well_?" Cyborg asked, getting a little impatient with a leader who doesn't give any orders.

"Well," He said irritated. "I _think_ that's the appropriate way to deliver a baby, but _I_ could be wrong." He answered back in a biting tone. He was not in the mood for pointless questions.

"Beast Boy!" Starfire said, almost lecturing her friend for being rude to them.

"Easy, Star, let him vent." Cyborg said, excusing his green friend's behavior. "Dude, I'm _asking_ you, _should_ she push? Or should she wait?"

"_Should_? What do you mean should?" Starfire asked. "I thought Earth women have been pushing all along during the course of their pregnancy? Is that not so?" Both Cyborg and Garfield didn't know how to respond to that comment, so they both wisely let it rolled off their backs.

"She's ten centimeters dilated."

"Isn't that good?" Cyborg asked.

"Yes, but I don't want her to burn out too early if it's not the right time." Garfield told Cyborg, making his argument.

"If she's not pushing now, then what—" Cyborg asked, wondering why they were needed so urgently.

"Because it's a stressful time and I need extra help." He said. "Also, she _could_ be pushing any time now. She's ready, just getting a little rest before she tries again. The simple truth is I'm afraid of her pushing just yet."A plastic fork by the bed was shot up in the air, before falling a few feet away from its original place.

Both Starfire and Cyborg jolted from their place from the unexpected explosion. "What the fu—!"

"Oh and _that_ occasionally happens." Garfield said almost nonchalantly. He was used to Raven's black energy randomly exploding things around him, but his friends, however, did not have the fortunate experience of constantly witnessing her powers released in one tiny room.

"Uhhhh, I don't know how I feel about Raven being in here, with all this expensive equipment," Cyborg said, trying to look around the dimly lit room to see any possible damage. He made his way to the light switch and turned on the bright fluorescent lights. "But I supposed—_whoa_."

Applesauce, there was applesauce _everywhere_. Big blobs of applesauce were found on the bed, on the floors, around the expensive machines connected to the walls. It was in the curtains, in the sheets, and there was even some on Raven and Garfield's clothing, but they had tried to clean it out, leaving only a sticky water mark. There were also other bits and pieces of burned objects from Raven's power, but all that Cyborg could see was applesauce. Or in some places, he _wished_ it was only applesauce. Surprisingly, the room smelled like a combination of lavender and vanilla. He turned off the lights, allowing the low light from the candles to create a more intimate environment.

"How could…?" Was all Cyborg could ask.

"You left three jars of applesauce in the room yesterday." Garfield confessed, blushing, remembering why the lights were turned off in the first place. "It was the only thing she was able to eat for a while." He was thankful that Cyborg didn't ask anything about the TV that was hidden in the far corner of the room. There was a giant hole in it. "Now, this is what happens when she _can't_ go back to her room." He added, trying to hide his smirk.

"Okay, you made your point." Cyborg said, taking off his dirty latex gloves and putting on a new pair.

"Oh! _Azarath_…" Raven screeched out, squeezing Garfield's hand once again.

"B, you _have_ to let her push." Cyborg insisted.

Garfield soften his face and looked over to Raven, just as he once again damped the cloth and put it on her forehead. "Rae? Can you try to push?"

"I'll—I'll try…" She whispered, her breathing was getting heavier anytime she broke her mantra. She didn't open her eyes, but she understood that Garfield wasn't the only person in the room. Starfire took it upon herself to sit down opposite of Raven, to help guide the baby out.

"Good, good, Rae," Garfield said calmly before lowering his voice to Cyborg. "Cy, can you get the birthing kit, I want to have that pitocin in hand just in case she bleeds out—"

"—Bleed out?!" Cyborg shouted in surprised. "Are you sure we can't get a doctor? B, this sounds dangerous."

"What!...Doctors?...Garfield…oh _Azarath_…" Raven screeched as she tried to overcome the pain from pushing. "Where…are the doctors…I want…oh _mentrion_…"

"Nothing, Rae, it's nothing, just keep pushing. I'll be right back." Garfield said, as he stood up and nodded his head to Cyborg to indicate he wanted to talk with him in private. "I won't leave you, Rae, I'll just be right there."

"Won't leave…won't leave me…oh _Zinthos_…" She chanted to herself.

* * *

Garfield and Cyborg went outside into the hallway, where Robin was waiting, standing up as Garfield shut the door.

"So?" Robin asked, with Bruce sleeping in his arms.

"Where's Lydia?" Garfield asked looking around, as Cyborg took off his mask.

"In the kitchen, getting something to eat. But tell me—"

"She's pushing, Robin." Garfield said, he turned back over to Cyborg. "But what the fuck were _you_ _thinking_ Cy?!"

"_What_? I thought she was okay with the idea of doctors."

"But she thinks you _guys_ are the doctors, didn't you hear me _explained_ it to her?!"

"Why did you lie then? You didn't have too. But now that it has been brought up, where _are the_ _real_ doctors?" Cyborg asked. "If I have to get out things that require a medical degree, with things like pitocin…"

"Medical degrees?" Robin interrupted. "Beast Boy, this is sounding dangerous. Why _aren't_ there doctors in here? Or why hasn't she been _transferred_ to a hospital yet? We need to get her to a hospital."

"We can't Robin."

"What do you mean _we can't_?!" Robin snapped. "As your leader, I _order_ _you_ to send her to a hospital. I'm kind of angry that there isn't a doctor here _now_. What have you been _doing_ this whole time? Just laying by her side?"

"Robin, I'm sure B has an explanation. But, I would like to know myself."

Garfield looked up at Robin and then slowly to Cyborg before he let out a sigh. "Guys, don't tell her this, now I'm serious." He said, lowering his voice, even though she couldn't hear it behind an iron door, as well as with her screaming. "But due to the fact that _everybody_ in the city, knows _who_ she is and _what_ she is—a Demon—_and_ the fact that it is pre-term as well, there _isn't_ _any_ hospital that will let us come in. Or have their doctors _come out_ to us."

"What? That doesn't sound right…" Cyborg said.

"There must be a law…" Robin said over him.

"—You can't just let them—"

"—It isn't right—"

"—Get a backbone Beast Boy. Tell them—" Their words were buzzing through Garfield's ear.

"Guys!" He interrupted them. He hated their ignorance of his nights. "Guys, guys, shut up! Just _shut up_! Okay! I've done _everything_ I could, but the motherfuckers won't come because insurance _might not_ cover it!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, angry at the world for giving him more problems to deal with. "I've called three different counties around Jump City, and they know who Raven is. '_Trigon's daughter_'. They tell me. '_A Demon'_. I tell them all how she is out there _every day_ to save our little city and this side of the state of California, but when it really comes down to it, if they don't get paid, or if they believed she will blow up an expensive machine, they deny her!"

Robin tried to say something, but Garfield interrupted.

"I've checked! Yes, it is downright illegal to deny a pregnant woman from entering a hospital…and I said they could get paid if I contact the city, but they said if I take her to somewhere, they would only transfer her to _another_ hospital, and that hospital will only transfer her to _another_ hospital and _so on and so on_. It's like a game of hot potato!"

"Beast Boy, I know your mad, but—" Robin asked.

"_Me_? _Mad_?" Garfield said mockingly. "Robin, they claim that if we take them to court or something, they can claim that Raven had put other patients in danger due to her being a Demon. Even after I explained to them that she can control herself—which was a lie—the hospitals don't want to risk it. And the doctors…the doctors are just as afraid as the hospitals to come_ out here_." Robin and Cyborg looked at each other somberly. "This is my only option left. Please, let's just…let's just try to get through this."

"Yeah, but B, you're not a doctor." Cyborg said, trying to bring realism to Garfield's little world.

Garfield didn't say anymore. After everything he said, trying to make his point clear that they were on their own, they both wanted to pretend they had more options. But Garfield was out of options. He realized that a long time ago. He only glanced at them, with anger in his eyes, before he put on his mouth mask and went back inside the room, slamming the door shut.

Bruce began to whimper.

* * *

"Okay, Rae, please listen to me," Garfield whispered softly in her ear, as he sat next to her side. "I want you to start pushing as hard as you can—"

"I can't, I can't, I can't—" She chanted.

"Yes, _you_ _can_." He stopped and looked over to Starfire, who was preparing to guide the baby out with her hands, if necessary. The big bulgy part at the top of the head was almost out. She grabbed onto his hand and started pushing. "That's it, you can do it."

She screamed her mantra a couple of times before her black energy shot a paper plate straight to Garfield's head. It brushed the side of his cheek, and even though it wasn't a heavy object, it left a mark, and was like the world's biggest paper cut. He felt the sting for a second or so, but only just cupped his cheek while he continued to talk to Raven.

"I can see the baby!" Starfire shouted over Raven's screaming.

Pretty soon the small, slimy, pale white body came out and Starfire wrapped it around in a blanket. Starfire noticed the head was very narrow and skinny, and as she continued to warm the baby up, she could see the baby didn't weigh any more than four or five Earth pounds.

"Beast Boy, he is very light." Starfire said, concerned. She looked over to the two and saw Raven was passed out in Garfield's arms, and Garfield seemed like a statue, as he hugged her gently sitting up, while she slept.

"He?" Garfield said, looking over to Starfire, as started to tear up. "A—a son?"

"Yes." She said. "He is not crying though."

"He's not?!" He said, alarmed. Realizing it wasn't over yet, he gently set Raven down on the bed, as he ran over to Starfire's side, and going through the emergency kit to find the right tool to get him to start breathing. The boy coughed a little before he tried to wiggle around in the tight blanket. Garfield let out a sign of relief and stopped what he was doing. Starfire handed Garfield his son to him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, he's breathing, just not crying. I was worried for a second, but I can see now that he's breathing. Everything's fine." Garfield said, as he stared down at the little pale body. His eyes wouldn't open, the tiny hands were only a fraction of one of Garfield's fingers, and his body was barely showing his skeleton, which scared Garfield. "At least for now."

I WILL TRY TO GET MORE INTO WRITING, BUT I HAVE SCHOOL, AND I HAVE BIOLOGY THIS SEMSTER, AND A LITTLE THING ABOUT ME IS THAT I'M NOT GOOD AT SCIENCE. EXCELLENT AT MATH, HOWEVER THAT DOESN'T TRANSLATE WELL TO SCIENCE. AND USUALLY THE SAYINIG IS IF YOU'RE GOOD AT SCIENCE OR MATH, YOU WOULD BE GOOD AT THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY GO WELL TOGETHER. BUT SCIENCE HAS MORE THEN JUST NUMBERS AND VARIABLES, IT HAS PARTS THAT HAVE NAMES AND EACH PART HAS A SYSTEM WITH A NAME AND THAT SYSTEM DOES THIS OR THAT AND I GET LOST.


	43. Cold Feet

I LIVE IN THE BAY AREA, SO I AM REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THE A'S, HOPING, JUST HOPING THEY CAN HANG IN THERE. BY THE TIME ANYONE READS THIS, DAYS LATER, THE A'S PROBABLY WOULD LOSE THEIR NERVE ON THE LAST GAME, BECAUSE THEY DO THAT, THUS RENDERING MY EXCITEMENT AS POINTLESS. BUT IT'S NICE TO DREAM. IT'S NICE TO SAY 'LET'S GO OAKLAND' THIS LATE IN THE SEASON. I MAY BE AN OAKLAND'S FAN AT HEART, BUT I WAS BORN IN SAN FRANSICO, WHERE MY PARENTS LIVED FOR A WHILE BEFORE WE MOVED. MY FAMILY SWITCHES TEAMS EVERY FEW YEARS, BUT I REMAIN THE SAME. 'GOOD FOR THE GIANTS, BUT SERIOUSLY, LET'S GO OAKLAND'.

Raven woke up in the morning and, to by her surprised, in her room, with a long flowing purple silk robe on. She did not feel any sort of pain, any exhaustion, or even a tiny headache from waking up.

She felt, as it were, well rested.

She was confused by this strange phenomenon. Even though it was only her second child, she knew what to expect this wasn't normal for post birth procedure. Also, logically what her body had gone through, which was pure torture until a human being was born, surely, she should still be feeling _some_ pain, but she didn't.

How strange.

When she strolled over to her mirror, she caught a glimpse of herself, and realized that she was _not_ the woman she was when she fell asleep; no, she was, by her guess, seven or eight years younger. She gasped and ran over to the mirror, looking closely at herself. She noticed her skin was smoother, less wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, her body was in top physical shape, and although her chest was small, it was a perky B-cup rather than the more drooping C-cup due to breast feeding and weight gain over the years. However, she didn't have that natural glow, that positive aura around her that she had developed over the years.

She was amazed at the little details she would have never noticed if she didn't see herself eight years younger. At that moment, she became aware this moment must be a dream, that she was still sleeping soundly in the infirmary. Or was it that all those years married to Garfield _was_ the dream and _this_ right _here_ was reality?

"Rae?" She heard a voiced muffled through the sheets.

She turned her head and saw a big lump in the bed, and that lump slowly uncovered the sheets to show the young green shape shifter with a set of purple pajama's on. His face was smoother, with less facial hair, and he was in much better physical shape.

This wasn't just some dream, it was long lost memory that she was reliving.

She remembered this, remembering the nights and days where Garfield would just _sleep_ beside her, only sleeping and observing her, and _occasionally_ cuddled. She couldn't believe the patience Garfield had back then since now he was relentless whenever he had the opportunity to undress her. Here laid the young, innocent Garfield that didn't know anything about their sex life, their children or their general future together, other than they were together at the moment.

"What are you doing? You promised you wouldn't get up so early on Saturdays. Come back to bed." He said, pleading with her, holding out his arm to welcome her back into the bed. She looked at him, before she looked down at her left hand to see the now new sapphire ring, and looked into her mirror. "Rae?" He asked her, getting up from the covers and walking towards her. "Rae, you're not having second thoughts…(_nervously chuckling_)…a-are you?"

"I-I'm just thinking." She said, looking into the mirror and seeing Garfield's reflection looking back at hers', with him caressing her shoulders.

"You've been thinking a lot lately. I mean, this is the _twelfth_ time I propose. And you finally said 'yes'. _Please_ don't make a thirteenth time for me, because that would be _bad_ luck if you said 'yes' then." He said, comforting her.

"Luck? Luck is for the lottery and Jinx. Luck has nothing to do with having a good marriage." She said in her monotone.

Even though she was well aware that this was a flashback—a dream—living in the younger body of Raven, the words that she was speaking were not her own, that is to say, not words that the present-Raven would say with two children. It was of her past self speaking the words. She was merely reliving a moment in time long forgotten and didn't have control over her actions or language.

"I know that you haven't had the best experience with marriages—" Garfield began.

"—My mother came from a broken family, a bad marriage, and that is how she got into the _cult_. No, I would dare say marriage is _not_ that important to me—"

"—_But_, _I_ came from a good, _strong_ marriage. You don't have any doubts about us...right?" She gave him a small smile and gently rubbed his hand on her shoulder.

"Of course not, Garfield." She said with a happy sigh. "It's just the idea—"

"You never had a family and I lost mine. The only family we have is our friends. But that's not enough for the world. Not enough for _me_, at least. We can create a family for us. Everybody _knows_ that we are together, but unfortunately, it is not enough in this world, just not enough. In _this_ world, marriage is held high above the clouds, more so then _just_ being a boyfriend, and is seen more respectful." He said. She turned her head to his and looked into his eyes.

"You sound like a politician." She said. "What, are you afraid people will think you've corrupted me if we are not married for another five years?"

"Well, actually, people will think _you're_ the one who is doing the corrupting." He said, smirking.

"They certainly don't know me then."

"No, they don't, but _I_ do." He whispered as he tightened his arms around her.

"So, being married only means I _gain_ respect? I'm a Titan, shouldn't my actions alone _earn_ me that respect?"

"Well, think about this way: foreign ambassadors would take us more seriously, seeing us as a _united_ couple—in their eyes, not mine—on _paper_, and weddings _always_ make foreigners love the couple—and their _country_—even more."

"So, now I'm a _trinket_ for my government to prance around?" She asked, as she looked away from the mirror and made her way to the window with the curtains pulled back. Garfield let go of his embrace, allowing her some space.

"I don't know what else to say Rae, I mean, I'm trying to ease your mind—"

"I am ready. I _am_. I wouldn't have 'yes' if I wasn't, but I guess I just need assurance that this won't destroy things between us. I like the way things are now, so, what if things become worst and we end _hating_ each other?" She asked, looking up to him. "I need to understand _why_ it is so important to you?"

"You know why." He said.

"You want to solidify us, make a party out of it, announce it to the world that you are mine. Right?" She said, staring down at her ring that seem alien to her still.

"And uniting us will come with benefits, we could get better health coverage, certain tax benefits, we can oversee each other's wills, we can see each other in the hospital—"

"You know, most of that is irrelevant due to the fact that we are _superhero's_, employed by the City—tax payers pay our salary—I am a _healer_, and we have our own infirmary _here_ at the Tower." She pointed out and he lowered his head as he imaged where this was going.

However, instead of her starting a whole new argument, she looked up at him, jerked her head to the side and smiled.

She cleared her throat. "However," He lifted up his ears. "Some of those things are still relevant to us, like our wills."

"And tax credits."

"You don't know anything about taxes, stop pretending you do." She said, straightening her head. He started chuckling when he tried to argue his point.

"No, no, I guess I don't. But I know it's something good because it has the word 'benefits' in it." He said. "So, uh, does this mean I can _start_ telling people now? You're _absolutely_ sure?"

"You asked me that last night and I told you 'yes'. Go ahead and tell the others, although I have a feeling you _already_ have before you proposed—"

"—only Cyborg, since this _is_ the _twelfth_ time—"

"—Of course. But why are you asking me again?"

"Because, well, you woke up and looked all undecided and gloomy and _stuff_." He said unintelligently.

"You have to realized, it's only been a few years since I have gotten _used_ to the idea of marriage, whereas you have had a lifetime." She said. "Despite how much I say I am ready, I might still get cold feet every now and then." He walked over to her and kneeled on his knees before her. He rubbed his hands together for a few seconds before he placed the warm palms on Raven's bare feet.

He looked up and smiled. "Then I shall warm them up for you."

* * *

The present Raven, the one with two children and a husband of seven or so years, woke up. She still found herself in the infirmary, although it was slightly less untidy when she had last saw it under her labor dazed. Just _slightly_. She was wearing one of Garfield's T-shirts, maybe because it was baggy enough to slip her in it without waking her up.

She was not her young pretty self in her dreams, oh no, she had huge circles under her eyes, unkempt hair, and added wrinkles on her forehead. She looked to her right and saw Garfield was sitting next to her, slumped down in his metal chair hopelessly reading their worn out copy of _Pride and Prejudice_, trying to find comfort in the words.

"Garfield?" She could barely say, trying to lift herself up, but she was forced back down by the IV's in her arm as she felt the sting in her arms from moving her body.

"Rae!" He exclaimed as he noticed her trying to move. He put the book down on the side. "It-it's okay, we-we just hooked you up for now, because we didn't know w-when you were going to wake up or-or get into your healing state." He was nervous from excitement as she had woken up.

"T-the baby?!" She cried out.

"He's fine. He's fine. Well, at-at least for now. He's in the incubator, resting. He-he's very small, very white and pale, can fit in the palm of my hand, he's hooked up to many machines. He-he's having problems breathing, growing." He told her as he held her hand.

"But I'm awake now and I can _heal_ him."

"You're still weak yourself—"

"—I'm fine—"

"—You've only been hooked up for a few days." He said, holding onto her arms to prevent her from getting up again.

"Mama!" A soft voice cried out, coming from the doorway. She looked up and saw Lydia's long, messy dark violet hair and the stubby legs of her six-year old running toward Raven's way. The bouncy six-year old jumped up onto the bed and she laid at the end of the bed as she began to suck her thumb. "Mama, when will you come home? Bedtime isn't the same."

"Lydia! How many times have I told you _not_ to run around the infirmary?" Garfield asked her, irritated.

"Once?" She answered, almost as if it was a question. Garfield blushed when he realized that he had only asked her _once_ before now.

"Right," He awkwardly said, trying to maintain his authority. "Well, once _should_ be enough. You do what Daddy says, Mama isn't feeling well right now."

"It's okay, Daddy," Raven said in a soft voice. "She just wants things to go back to normal. And so do I."

"Mama, your stomach isn't big anymore; does that mean my sister is here?" Lydia said, noticing Raven's stomach didn't quite have that noticeable bump anymore. She went to touch Raven's descended stomach.

"Don't touch Mama's stomach, she's resting." Garfield said, slapping Lydia's hand away. "And yes, that means your baby _brother_ is here."

"Brother?" She questioned, looking around the room. "But, but, I _asked_ for a sister." She complained. "I said a _sister_! I _wanted_ a _sister_!"

"_Lydia_! _Behave_ _yourself_!" Garfield commanded her. He could see her black energy was shaking the bed.

"But I wanted a _sister_!" She screamed out, her face turning red. She was frustrated. She hadn't seen her mother in around three to four days, her mother was too weak to play with her, and now, on top of everything, she had gotten an annoying brother instead of a beloved sister.

"Lydia, _please_, control yourself." Raven begged her softly, she wasn't in any mood to play the strict mother.

"But Mama, I _wanted_ a _sister_." She sobbed to her. Raven could feel her pillow moving a little in place.

"Garfield?" Raven asked, looking up to her green companion. He also saw certain things around the bed were moving from the familiar black aura.

"Lydia, Lydia, _come here_." Garfield said, trying to keep his stern voice. When she didn't come over to her father's place, Garfield was force to pick her up and escort her out of the infirmary, closing the door behind him as Raven could hear Lydia's cries behind the walls.

When Raven was able to hear nothing, but the internal beeping from the medical machines, she looked down the room, to see the small incubator in the corner. She was afraid to get up and see her new child, even though moments before she was desperate to get out of bed. Maybe because she _knew_ Garfield would stop her before, but now, well now she had the freedom to get up, but found the deed less desirable then before.

She slowly uncovered her blankets and used her black energy to undo the IV's in her wrist, healing the small wounds the needles gave her.

_What happened?_ She thought to herself as she made her way across the room. _Of everything I was prepared for, fire brimstones, explosions all around the room, possibly bleeding profusely, out of everything, I thought for sure it would happened to _me_, in a month, but never _him_._

Before she knew it, she was standing over the child's new home—the warm, heated plastic cage known as the incubator. The little boy was indeed small as Garfield had said, but he was just as pale as Lydia was when _she_ was born, and she was late. She couldn't see his eyes, they were still closed and he curled up his head down to his hands. Raven raised her hands on the box and released her black energy on the child.

"Azarath, mentrion, zinthos…" She chanted to herself as she continued to allow her powers to flow through her.

Thoughts were running through her head, questioning herself on why had this happened? Was there anything she could have done? Out of everything she could sense with her powers, why couldn't she sense her child was in danger?

An hour later, by the time all was said and done, she passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

A few hours later, by the time Raven woke up again, she could just _feel_ Garfield's anger boiling around her. She looked up at her bedside and saw fury in his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry." She simply told him.

"Rae…" He said, before he sighed. "You know I've already had a heart attack. Don't play with me like that."

"I know." She said, feeling guilty. That guilt caused her to burst the pillow she was laying on into feathers. She fell back on the mattress and hit her head on the backboard. Garfield couldn't help, but chuckle. "That wasn't funny." She said as she sat up.

"Yes, it was." He said. "You owe me anyway, after all that you put me through." She gave him a small smile for his stupid joke, and in a blink of an eye, it was gone. "Hey," He said, grabbing onto her hand. "Despite what I say, you did do _some_ good with your healing. Although I am in _no_ way encouraging you to do it again."

"How is he? Can-can I see him?" She asked hesitantly, afraid to ruffled Garfield's feathers even more. He smiled.

"Only if you promised to get plenty of rest when you're done." He said, helping her to stand up. She leaned onto his shoulder as they both carefully walked over to the small incubator at the corner of the room.

The baby was still quite small, not being bigger than the size of a two liter bottle of soda. His white pale skin slowly was turning into a noticeable peach complexion, but he was still so pale, still breathing through a tube attached to his narrow nose, which there was no mistaking that he had inherited from Raven, premature or not, it was very narrow. He did not have any hair, but his scalp was darkening a bit, indicating he must be growing a light hair color. He bulging eyes were still close.

"He looks so peaceful, despite everything." She said, as she held her out, but was hesitant to touch his soft, vulnerable skin. "Is Lydia okay? Can she handle having a baby brother?"

"She's adjusting…I don't think this is really about him being a boy, but just about everything else going on." He said, holding out his hand and gently rubbing his son's back. "Have you come up with any—"

"No." She interrupted. "No, I haven't come up with any explanation why this happened. It just…happened. And his powers, I can't explain it, but…I can't sense anything. He's weak and…"

"Hey, Rae, shh, it's okay," He said as he brushed her hair behind her ears. "You don't need to explain yourself. You never had too. We'll figure it out one day at a time. But, that's not what I was asking. No, I was just asking if you had come with any names?"

She blushed and breathed a sigh of relief, embarrassed that she was allowing her emotions to get the best of her at this moment. "No, I-I haven't thought of anything. I was thinking about giving him one of our friend's names, but then—"

"But then it could jeopardize our friend's alias in case they want to go all _incognito_ on a mission."

"People still believe Lydia is named after Starfire." She said.

"Why not continue the tradition? Name him after a character in _Pride and Prejudice_." He looked over to their copy of Jane Austen's classic on the table next to her bed. "That book has had a lot of history between us. It was the reason for our first kiss, the first classical 'old-timey' book I read, and even now I was reading it to find some sort of escape from all of this, to try and remember the good times."

"But most of the characters in the book are women, and none of the men characters have any distinct or charming names to choose from."

"Charles."

"No." She said, hating the way it sounded.

"Darcy."

"Would _you_ really want a name like Darcy? What am I saying? Never mind, _you're_ Garfield, anything else sounds normal compared to you. But can't you just read the headlines, 'Darcy Fart-cy', no, bad name, too easy to make fun of."

"William."

"Too normal."

"_Fitz_william."

"_Too_ abnormal."

"Collin after Collins."

"Oh, for the love of Azarath, no!"

"George."

"And what, name him after Lydia's love interest? That's a little too weird for her brother."

"As supposed to the fact that people sometimes name their children after Luke and Leia from Star Wars?"

"They _were_ actually brother and sister."

"I know, isn't that gross when you look back on the three different times they've kissed?" He said, she gave him a smile, trying to suppress her chuckle.

"You made me watch all the films, so yes, I _know_. But still, this is real life, so no George."

"Well, that kinda leaves us with nothing left."

"I know, which is why I haven't considered any names in _Pride and Prejudice_. We could look over Austen's other books, if you really want to stick with the _Pride and Prejudice_ theme. Other than that, I think names are the least of our concern right now." Raven said, looking back down.

Garfield's eyes lit up. "Austin? What about Austin?"

"What do _I_ mean Austen? You _know_, _Jane Austen_, the author—"

"—No, I know who Jane Austen is, I'm not that stupid, but that's why I am asking. What about the name Austin for him? With an 'I' replacing the 'E' for convenience sake."

Raven looked up and gave him a sour expression. "You want to name our _son_ after a _woman_?"

"No, no, no, at least, we won't tell him _that_. No, we can honor _Pride and Prejudice_ by naming our son after the author's last name. It's unique enough for _you_ to like it, but not _too_ weird or abnormal to get attention from the press who might think it's a secret name for a mission or one of our team members."

"But it's still named after a woman."

"We can say we named it after the city, because one time we had a date in Texas or something, I don't know, make something up for the press."

"What would _we_ tell him?"

"It's not like Lydia is asking us where her name came from. Hell, I think she believes it was from cartoon _Beetlejuice_, she's still too young for the movie. When an awesome TV show comes on with a character named Austin, he'll believe he was named after them as well."

"I don't know." She said, looking down at her son's frail body. His small fingers were curled up into a ball, making a small fist that he would occasionally let loose.

His skin was still so white and pale. She had read up on some medical journals and realized that genes would always dominant Garfield's genes, and all her children would look like her more than they would like Garfield. Worse yet, they could look like Arella, her mother, and that was something she did not want to happen, despite how much she love—well, _respected_—her mother. Could her son possibly perhaps end up looking like Trigon then?

The fact that she could not sense his powers made her worry that his power were probably powerful rather than being weak, and were just well hidden from her radar, and those powers could be unleashed at any time. Trigon had always preferred males to females. Could her son in fact be _continuing_ Trigon's path just by being born from her, the descendant of Trigon the Terrible? Trigon himself had his own personal agenda as soon as he was born. However, Raven didn't destroy anything on purpose when she was born. She knew Trigon had other children who continued Trigon's will, but they were all men, and they weren't a threat anymore since she had defeated Trigon. But it was something to keep in mind that only the men of Trigon's children had followed their precious father. Being a Demon was making her feel sexist when she thought about it.

These were rather silly questions her mind came up with, but ones that needed some answering, just for her sanities sake. Lydia had proven herself just as a silly girl with some extraordinary powers, not a monster, the same could be said about her son. But Lydia had started feeling her rage as of late.

Anyway, the sooner they would learn why he was born premature, the better they would all sleep at night.

She looked up at Garfield. "I haven't said 'yes' yet, but…" She looked back down. "Austin isn't the worst name in the world."

Garfield smiled.

IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO FIGURE OUT A NAME FOR HIM. I EVEN MADE A LIST OF PRO'S AND CON'S FOR EACH NAME.


	44. The Cause of It All

OKAY, IF ANYONE IS READING THIS BEFORE NOV 6, 2012, I JUST WANT TO REMIND ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS TO VOTE. THAT IS, IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE. I AM NOT STATING ANY TYPE OF ENDORCEMENT, YOU'RE ALL PROBABLY SICK OF THAT, BUT AT LEAST FOR AZARATHS SAKE, GO OUT AND VOTE. AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR CHOICES, YOU DON'T HAVE TO VOTE FOR EVERY _SINGLE_ THING, JUST VOTE FOR THE THINGS THAT MATTER TO YOU OR THAT YOU KNOW OF. IT'S YOUR RIGHT AS A CITIZEN TO THAT, AND YOU SHOULD.

ALRIGHT, DONE WITH MY PSA FOR THE YEAR, I ONLY SAY THAT BECAUSE I AM GOING TO WORK THE POLLING BOOTHS, SO I SHOULD SAY THAT TO EVERYONE WHO IS OVER 18.

I AM WORKING ON A DIFFERENT STORY, ONE WITH ANIMANIACS, SO I KIND OF RUSHED THIS ONE TO GET BACK TO THE OTHER ONE. I MIGHT NOT WRITE FOR A WHILE ON THIS ONE IF THE OTHER ONE BECOMES SOMETHING LONGER THEN A ONE-SHOT.

The following week, Raven had come around to the name 'Austin', to the point that she had to remind Lydia to call her brother by his name and not call him 'it'. Lydia wasn't happy with a baby brother, mostly because she didn't have much interaction with boys altogether apart from Bruce, but Bruce was just a cousin, it was different with cousins. No, boys were different, because they wouldn't want to play Babies with their sister, if they could help it at least, and they certainly wouldn't want to watch the same shows as their sister, if they could help it. No, Lydia was entering into a world that so many siblings of the opposite sex could understand; compromising.

If she had a sister, there could so many things she could share with her, about her opinions on each Disney princess, her favorite Barbie, and who would cook the dinner when they played house. _But_ with a brother, there were boundaries that had to be taken, he would want to play with toy cars, dream about being a sports player, and other sorts of things that little boys would tend to do more than little girls.

It also didn't help the fact that Lydia's birthday was just two weeks after Austin was born, making Lydia somewhat share the limelight of her birthday month. And on top of that, he was the _first_ to celebrate his birthday. If Austin had just been born when he was supposed to be born, it would be a month after Lydia's birthday, pushing him to the next month and then Lydia would have been the first to celebrate said birthday.

But for now, it was Lydia's turn to celebrate her birthday.

* * *

"I wonder what he is going to say." Garfield said, as he sat on the couch in the living room by Raven's side. Cyborg had been examining Austin for four hours now for any signs of diseases or illnesses, and the Logan's thought it would be best to wait somewhere else for the time being. Raven's powers have had enough excitement for the moment.

Starfire and Robin decided to leave the tower for the day and go shopping down in the city with Bruce and Lydia, as it would also be a birthday treat for Lydia to spend a day with her Aunt and Uncle.

"I know what he is going to say." Raven said, looking off at the window into the distance. "He's going to say I was too stressed out, that I didn't eat well, that I had put my child's life in danger by flying so late in the pregnancy. He's going to say I _did_ this to him."

"Raven, stop—"

"But it's true." She said, turning her to head and looking into his eyes. "Don't you remember those sleepless nights I had? Why did I keep on dreaming about Trigon, when you had already cured me? My subconscious must have been asking for attention, I _know_ it."

Garfield couldn't believe what he was hearing. He grabbed her hand and tried to settle her down, even if she was only speaking in her monotone voice. "Rae, you can't control what you dream, it's that plain and simple. And attention? What attention? You were already pregnant when all this happened. I was giving you _all_ my attention to you. No, Rae, this is not your fault. Now I know that there are some mothers out there who are sick, who would poison their kids to get the attention from others, but you're _not_ one of those."

"But Garfield, what if I am?" She asked, trying very hard not to allow a tear to fall down her face, trying to maintain her stoic expression for as long as she possibly could. Her body was shaking from the urge to suppress her facial emotions. "What if I was making myself sick just to get attention and thereby making my child sick in the process? It's the only explanation. I told you I couldn't be a mother—"

"—Rae, Rae stop it!—"

"—And now look what is happening. What if, Austin—our _son_—what if he dies?"

"—Rae, he's not going to, because you can _heal_ him—"

"—I have tried to heal him as much as I can. But if he isn't fully developed, I can't make him grow better organs. I can only work with what I have—"

"—Then we'll get the best doctors in the world—"

"—Which doctors? The _ones_ that came here to help deliver Austin?" She asked looking at in him squared in the eye. "I now know that was just Cyborg and Starfire."

"Rae, I can find doctors. I know they'll help now." He pleaded. "Please, we don't even know what's wrong with him, but I'm sure whatever it is, we can save him."

She didn't say anything for a while, just allowing Garfield to hold onto her hand. She looked back at the window. "And what if he does die? Where will you be then? Still by my side, still supporting me? Can you honesty tell than that it is not my fault?" She said, trying to calm herself. "No, if he dies, it's going to change everything." She said. "And our marriage will just have been a dream. Just a dream."

"Rae, you can't possibly think _that_, after everything we've been through, you think I will _leave_ you?" He asked her, shocked at her words. He could feel her hands slipping away from his.

Just as he was about to restate his case, Cyborg walked into the room, with little Austin in his arms. Cyborg handed Austin to Raven, while Garfield tried to hold onto her hand again. At first she wouldn't allow it, but when she looked down at her son's eyes, she welcomed Garfield's grip.

Austin barely had any coloring in his peach skin. He was still very small, but he had a slightly larger face then Lydia had when she was a baby, more like a wide-square face just like Garfield's. He had gotten Raven's thin lips and her narrow nose, but he managed to get Garfield's big eyes and longer eye brows. His eyes were still grey for the moment, but Raven had figured he would obtain those beautiful forest green eyes soon. Lydia had grey eyes too before she grew into her green eyes.

His hair was still coming in and it was simply _amazing_ that he seemed to have a normal hair color; dark blonde hair was starting to pour out of his head. Raven didn't know her mother's family hair color, but she did know Garfield was a blonde before he turned, and his whole family had blonde hair too. She may have had her reserves against blonde _women_, and with good reason, but she had never thought anything about a blonde _boy_. But maybe it wasn't blonde, after all, it was still growing in, maybe it would darken as time went along. She secretly wished it wouldn't be blonde.

As for his ears, it was very strange thing for Raven to say. His ears were normal for any regular human, but somehow, she couldn't say for sure, Austin had managed to have pointy tips at the top of his ears. It was like she was holding a little elf in her hands. She didn't know if that was because Garfield's genes or maybe pointy ears was cause from a diseased that he might have had.

She looked up to Cyborg when she noticed the ears. "Relax, Rae, I've already checked up on it, those ears are not caused by anything other than this man over here." Cyborg said, pointing to Garfield.

"But wasn't that just a side effect from the medicine you took?" She asked Garfield. "How could that have been passed down?"

"Actually, I think I got the ears before I took the medicine, if I remember correctly." He said. "Hey, I think he looks cute. He looks like a tiny Spock, but without black hair."

"It probably is just a side effect from the Sakutia disease—by which, Austin doesn't have, so you can relax—and maybe it's a dominant trait compare to your ears, Rae." Cyborg said, trying reason with her. "Are you guys ready to hear about what's wrong with him?"

"Go ahead, Cyborg, tell it to us straight." Garfield said, as they both looked up to their half-robotic friend. Raven tightened her grip on his hand.

"Well, at first I couldn't find anything, but after careful observation, I find something odd about his condition." Cyborg said.

"Well?"

"Well, first I have to say, you can relax, there is nothing wrong with him. At least not anymore."

"Anymore?"

"What do you mean?" Raven asked.

"It seems that he…well, it seems that he doesn't—now I'm not suggesting anything or asking you guys any questions, but—I can't really explain it, but _somehow_—he was exposed to some chemicals—"

"—What? How? How could that—What are you talking about?!" Raven shouted out.

"—Cy, you're seriously not suggesting that Rae—"

"—B, can you let me finish?" He asked. "He was either given a shot or exposed to some sort of chemical, while Raven was still pregnant."

"But how—" Garfield started.

"—I wasn't given any shots—" Raven said over him.

"—what was this type of chemical? And what do you mean _not_ _anymore_—"

"—It could have been something I ate, with all this genetic processing I read up on—"

Their voices continued to fill the room with complaints or questions to Cyborg that he could not hear because they were both talking at the same time and neither one of them was willing to stop talking. It was as though they weren't even asking anything to Cyborg, but rather to themselves. And to each other.

"Please, please, please!" Cyborg shouted over their voices. They both stopped and looked up. "Okay, now I don't know how you got exposed to _this_ type of chemical, or if maybe a criminal gave you shot—"

"Cy, what do you mean, 'this type'?" Garfield asked.

"And why do you still continued to say I had gotten an injection or a shot from somewhere?" She asked, with Austin falling asleep in her hands. Cyborg sighed heavily and looked at her with such sorrow eyes.

"Rae, I'm sorry." He said somberly. "Now, I don't know what this chemical was supposed to do other then effect his growth, but that's what it has done. But whatever chemical you encounter, he has lost the ability to have any sort of super powers. I'm sorry, Rae. I really am. In addition to that, this chemical that was inside his body was the main reason why he was premature. I worked on an antidote and gave him a tiny shot of that. It seems to be working, he's able to breathe normally again without the machines."

"But, what kind of chemical was this?" Garfield asked, looking over at Raven, who was holding Austin tightly in her hands, but still looking up at Cyborg.

"I couldn't recognize it; it seemed like a man-made chemical rather than a natural one, because it was only attacking a certain type of DNA that would encode his powers. But by attacking that gene, it was also attacking other genes as well." He said. "That's why I was asking to see if Raven had gotten bit or had been shot with some kind of injection of some sort. Because whoever made this chemical, it seems to have targeted you."

"I don't recall getting any type of shot." Raven said, looking up at Cyborg. She looked back down at Austin, looking at his closed eyes and his soft cheeks, trying to think of every single fight she had been in when she was still pregnant.

"Are you sure that someone targeted Rae?" Garfield asked, looking up to Cyborg. "Isn't it possible, like you said before, that she just encounter some sort chemicals that would just happen to eat up his DNA?"

"That could also be an explanation, but I don't want to—"

"—The government laboratory!" Raven shouted out, with her eyes widening and looking up to Garfield. "Remember? Before I found out I was pregnant, I was fighting a criminal who broken in and was developing something in that laboratory. While we were fighting him, he sprayed us all with some sort of chemical. That's how we even found out we were pregnant!"

"But didn't Cyborg check you already?" Garfield asked. "Cy, you said Raven was clean!"

"But it could have affected Austin before we even knew it. We just found out that we were pregnant." Raven pointed out. "Even if the tests proved I was cleared, it could have affected Austin on a small scale."

"But Rae, I already ran a test on the baby after a few months, just to make sure."

"Well, maybe those tests couldn't have detected it at all because he only had a small dosage of it." She said. "Can't we at least take a visit down to the laboratory? Ask the chemists what exactly they were doing there?"

"I guess we can." Cyborg said. "I mean, it would make sense though, because we don't know what exactly that guy was cooking up in the labs. It could have been _this_, a cure to our powers."

"But he failed." Garfield said.

"No, he didn't." Raven said, looking down at Austin. Garfield slowly wrapped his arm around Raven, brushing her hair away from her eyes, as he looked down at his son.

"Uhh, I'll go make a phone call." Cyborg said, quietly making his way to the door.

"I'm sorry." Raven said when Cyborg left.

"For what? Rae, I told you it wasn't your fault and it isn't your fault." He said.

"No," She looked up at him. "Threatening to get a divorce."

"Well, that I can take." He said, smiling. "It's not like the first time you have threatened to break us up."

"But I don't mean be to that young, scared girl who kept breaking us up over little things, like my emotions. It's just that, I thought…" She said, but she couldn't finish her sentence when she looked down.

"I know, I know." He repeated softly.

"Don't ever let me bring up divorce again. I would hate it if you would take me seriously like that again."

"Don't worry Rae, even if you do bring it up, I'll always forgive you. You already know that." He said. She handed Austin over to him as she rested her head on his shoulder.

* * *

That night, Cyborg told both Starfire and Robin what he had found out about Austin, and the Logan's told a sugar down version of that tale to Lydia. While the Logan's fell asleep, once again in their bed, with Austin's crib close at hand, Starfire was just about putting down Bruce in her own room.

"I am sorry to hear about Austin, but I am glad our friends are now at peace!" Starfire exclaimed as she watched Bruce standing up on the floor and walking towards her. She was wearing her Japanese robe with Bruce wearing only his diaper, since it was getting hotter at night these days.

"Ma-ma!" Bruce cried out, pulling at his black hair and running towards her.

"Oh, Robin, you've been teaching him English!" She said, looking over up on the bed, where Robin was reading a document on the latest crime, with only his boxer and a large T-shirt on. She caught Bruce in her arms and he giggled.

"What do you mean, 'at peace'?" Robin asked.

"Well, I just mean that they know _why_ he was premature." She said. "And what is exactly wrong with him. It was just torturing for Raven and Beast Boy to not know what was going on with little Austin."

"Well, there was something wrong with him, but not anymore. He's cured." He said causally.

"But he cannot form any type of powers." She said. "He will be—what is it called—a 'black sheep' in the family? And he is still very weak."

"Bruce doesn't have any powers, and he's holding up just fine."

"But Robin, Bruce is special; he was created by humans, not us." She said, looking down at Bruce. "Our Titan friend's and their children will understand him. But Austin, children will be cruel to him, I just know it, because he was not able to get either Raven's or Beast Boy's powers. On Tamaran, if someone is born without any special abilities, they are considered sick and weak and are looked down upon in society."

"That's horrible!"

"I know," She said somberly. "I tried to help the cause of those who were not as gifted as everyone else, as _I_ one time thought that I did not develop any powers, so I understood their pain. But I _did_ develop my powers, just a little later then most. However, my sister took over the throne before I could help out their cause."

"And that's why I love you, Starfire. Your warm heart is what could heal this world of its greed."

"But I do not know how Earthlings handle children who have not inherited the abilities of their parents. Would Austin fit in with the other children?"

"He'll be fine."

"But I am still worried about his health.

"He has Raven to heal him." Robin said, looking over to Starfire. "I actually thought you would be okay about this."

"What do you mean?" She asked. He had already said it, he might as well confess his own relief.

"Because, he doesn't have any powers. That means, we don't have to worry about him destroying the tower or wrecking havoc on the city. And our friends could have a good night's rest knowing that they only have to worry about _one_ child, and not _two_." He stood up. "Aren't you at least a _little_ relieved by all this?"

"No! Robin, their child has been poisoned! And maybe they wanted him to have powers!" She proclaimed. "He almost died!"

"Well, he was close, but—" He said cautiously.

"—No, Robin, I do not think you understand the danger of his situation." Starfire said. "You were not there, inside that room, when that little pale baby came into this world, having a hard time breathing…I cannot begin to tell you the things I saw…Raven, screaming for this and that…But from the moment he was born, I knew he was dying. Raven might have saved him, but she used too much of her own strength to do so. And Raven herself was put in danger because of his health! I do believe she should still be in the infirmary now, but I understand why she is in her own room tonight."

Robin paused, before he walked over to Bruce and picked him up. Starfire walked with him as he put Bruce to bed in his small crib.

Some time past between them, before Robin spoke up. "You know, we should start looking for a bed for him. He's getting really big."

"And maybe a room too? Should we clean out Terra's old room yet? Oh, no, we should discuss it later with Raven and Beast Boy; see what do they would want to do when Austin reaches Bruce's age. And maybe Austin and Bruce can be best friends and they can have their own room. But maybe Lydia might want Bruce to have him in her room."

"I think Lydia would want her own room." Robin said, looking down at Bruce. "Besides," He said, tightening his lip. "I don't want Bruce to share a room with Lydia. She might be dangerous."

"Robin!"

"I know, I know. But she doesn't know how to control her powers just yet. And I heard, well I heard that she is experiencing her rage." He said, Starfire gasped.

"Where did you hear that from?"

"I eavesdropped on Raven and Beast Boy talking one day in the infirmary. They didn't know I was there. But I heard them, and I'm glad I heard them. Starfire, I'm thinking about the safety of our child."

"I know you mean well, Robin. But teaching our child to be against his cousin will divide our two families."

"I'll make sure he understands, when the time comes, but I will also make sure he knows that she isn't to be teased about her powers. Or afraid of them."

"I hope so." She said, before she walked over to the bed. "And I hope Austin will get better."

"He's going to be fine, Star."

She looked over to him and nodded half heartily. "I guess so, but Cyborg said if he did not get those chemicals out of him _soon_, he would have died. So, I can only imagine what Raven is feeling. She blames herself."

She crawled into bed and quickly went to sleep. Robin stood there for awhile, not knowing what to do. He was about to slipped into bed and joined her, but he sighed and put on a robe before he exited his room.

* * *

He made his way down to the security, where the videos for the security cameras were kept. He could see every secret spot in the whole Tower. He pushed a few buttons and had a screen turned into a communicator for him. He dialed a number, and sat down, while he waited for the person to pick up their communicator.

"What is it?" The familiar husky, almost robotic voice asked. "This better be important. You woke me up. (_Pausing_) Are you wearing a _robe_?"

"Yes, I was about to go bed, but something is on my mind." Robin said, looking up at the familiar suit black suit with a red 'X' across the chest, and a white skull as for mask, also with a red 'X' marked across it. It was the suit that Robin made, but was stolen from him.

"Is it about Raven's baby?" Red X asked.

For a while, Robin didn't want to say anything, he wanted to ask Red X a different question, without referring to Raven or Beast Boy, but after a while, he finally confessed. "Yes. It's about him. Austin, is his name."'

ALSO, HALLOWEEN WAS FUN. IT'S LIKE MY CHRISTMAS. I WAS BATMAN, EVEN THOUGH I AM A GIRL. ALSO, DON'T YOU HATE VERY AMBIGUOUS ENDINGS?


	45. Tenth Anniversary

OKAY, SO I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO PUT THIS OUT BEFORE CHRISTMAS…WELL THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. BUT SOMETHING ELSE DID. IT BECAME LONGER BECAUSE I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO END THE CHAPTER. AND THEN THE SHOOTINGS HAPPENED…YEAH, I JUST DIDN'T FEEL UP TO IT WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS. AND AURORA JUST HAPPENED OVER THE SUMMER, I CAN'T WATCH BATMAN WITHOUT REMEMBERING THAT AT THE SAME TIME NOW. AGAIN, MY HEART GOES OUT TO THOSE AFFECTED BY IT BECAUSE…WELL FUCK, LITTLE KINDERGARDENS AND TEACHERS WERE KILLED. I ALREADY READ UP A LOT ON POVERTY, THE WARS, AND VIETNAM THIS SEMESTER; IT'S JUST BEEN ONE DOWNER AFTER ANOTHER. YOU LOSE FAITH IN HUMANITY AFTER A WHILE. SO, WHEN I WAS OUT OF IT, I WAS REALLY OUT OF IT.

SO HERE'S A NICE BELATED HOLIDAY/CHRISTMAS/HANNUKAH/WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU CELEBRATE GIFT (I WORK WITH A BUDDHIST AND A MUSLIM, SO I UNDERSTAND THE FRUSTRATION OF CHRISTMAS OVERLOAD), WRAPPED UP IN A NICE WORD FORMAT. NOW EXTRA LONG.

HEY, IT WAS EITHER THIS OR A SCRAF, AND YOU DO NOT WANT A SCRAF.

"Explain to me again why you called me this late at night?" Red X demanded over the TV monitor.

"But this _is_ important! I can't just step back and stay quiet for another day!" Robin shouted, standing up and slamming his fist on the desk. "I need those documents! I just need to _know_!"

"I'm sorry, but as I explained to you before, that is confidential. I don't want _you_ or _anybody_ _else_ from getting their hands on this formula."

"It won't fall into the wrong hands, I promise."

"That is not a risk I am willing to take." He said, before pausing. "After all, I may want to use it on _you_ Titans one day."

Robin slammed his fist down again on the table. "Is that a threat?!" Robin asked firmly.

"It should be—but, no. I don't want to waste it on you Titans; despite what you may think, I have _bigger_ fish to fry." He paused again. "But, I already told you what was going to happen and the side effects when I gave you the formula. What more do you need to know?"

"Now _that_ information is confidential. Despite our little business exchange, I still don't trust you to know everything."

"Why, you were kind enough to tell me it was for Raven's baby. Hmm? And that his name is Austin. Did you not?"

"I didn't tell you that, you guessed it!"

"Still, you could have lied, but you _didn't_." Robin looked away, he didn't like being teased by his former adversary.

It was too eerie. After years of fighting each other, Red X could still make Robin's skin crawl, even though they had become more _civil_ through the years. Like Red had said, he wasn't interested in the Titans anymore. He had his _own_ to protect and in a different country too. What Red did on his own time was not Robin's problem anymore, since he wasn't doing anything illegal, at least as far as Robin was concern. However, it didn't stop Robin from treating him like a criminal. And it didn't stop Red from pestering Robin as _he_ used too.

Red could see Robin's anger growing. "You didn't use it on anybody _else_, did you?"

"No!" Robin shouted, looking up at the white skeleton mask with a giant 'X' across it. "Look, I just want to know what the ingredients are because I believed something might have gone wrong when I used the S.H. drug. Now, I don't know if I injected it wrong or put in too _much_—but it's already made a close call with Austin, and even though the worst _has_ passed us, I'm still worried that it might be life threatening."

"Life threatening? But that's not possible, Robin. It _shouldn't_ be. I have run hundreds of test on this drug and it should only obliterate one's powers, not caused any life threatening complications—"

"—Well it has!" Robin shouted. "And Raven believes one thing, Beast Boy another and Cyborg already knows what the chemical looks like! So, I recommend you should not do anything with the S.H. drug until I have the information on the formula!"

"Look, birdboy, just because you screwed up with your own little family affair doesn't mean you can come back and register a complaint in order for you to get your hands on the formula. I do believe this is a trick, because for one, the S.H. _isn't_ life threatening and two, your friend's baby is not due for another two weeks. There's this thing called the Internet, you know. Nothing about Raven having her baby."

"And there's thing called connections! We have already hid it from the press!" Robin said, sitting down, looking distraught. "He was born a month early. He was premature."

"You expect me to believe that? You can't hide something like _that_ from the press."

"I didn't say it was easy." Robin said, looking up. "There were many threats I made across the city to certain journalist—and I have a few friends here and there. I also told the numerous hospitals when we asked for help—and they _didn't come by the way_—that it was just a mistake when Beast Boy called them, that it was only false labor. We told Lydia not to tell anybody that her brother was born—even though it was her birthday—and if someone asked her a question, she should ignore them."

"Really? Then, if it's true, why would you hide it? For _all_ that trouble?" Red X asked, a little confused. "So, he was premature, some kids are just born premature sometimes. Not a big deal. Why go to all the trouble?"

"I had already caused enough trouble—I suspected it was the S.H. drug I gave Raven that caused him to be premature—I didn't want them to get swamped by reporters, I wanted them to have privacy for a mistake _I_ made." Robin glared up at the TV monitor. "You said the S.H. shouldn't be life threatening—well, Cyborg found the chemicals in his body—the _S.H._ ones—and claims that _it_ is the cause. You need to help me fix this."

"Why should I?"

"Well, for one, it is _your_ formula, I could go to media about this and—"

"—You do and you'll be dragged into this too!—"

"—I don't care _anymore_. I'll step down if it comes to that point."

"You really _are_ Mr. Goody-two-shoes." Red sighed.

"I'm not—I'm just doing the right thing. Something I learned with this job. And two—I have a found a flaw in your little formula, one that could have ruined your whole plan and would have ended up _killing_ someone instead of taking away their powers. For all I know, you should be _thanking_ me for informing _you_." Robin said, smirking and crossing his arms.

"God, you Titans are so annoying. I should have known better then to…." Red X said before he looked away from the screen. Robin was perplexed about what the distraction was before Red X looked back. "Fine. You win. I'll help, on one condition."

"What's that?"

"I'm still not giving you the formula—sorry, I would say it's not you, it's me, but truth be told, it _is_ you—it's just a general trust problem I have. I have to come to Austin."

"But then that means—"

"—That you would have to tell them. Well, of course, Robin. Did you think you could cure him without your precious friends ever finding out?" He gloated. Robin lowered his head, realizing his misguided mistake. "Of course, this will make things interesting. Will your team ever forgive the glorious Robin for keeping a secret?"

"They have before."

"On what?"

"_You_." Robin snarled.

"Oh, right, can't forget about that. Thanks for the uniform, _as always_." He teased.

"I have to find the right time." Robin muttered, burying his face in his hands, trying to figured out how he was going to tell his teammates what he had done.

Robin was about to hit the button to turn off the monitor before Red interrupted him. "So, you really _aren't_ lying are you? Up to this point I thought you would try something new, but no, Raven really has had her Demonic baby. And you gave him the S.H. drug—and it worked—Except for the whole almost dying part, but that's fixable."

"Will you come by tomorrow then?" Robin asked, annoyed that Red was gloating over his misery.

"No. Tomorrow doesn't work for me. Plus, I think you want to give your friends some time with this information before I start swinging by, I don't think the other's will take me too kindly."

"_I_ don't take you too kindly."

"But you _were_ still civil enough to be interested in my S.H. drug. I won't come until I am asked by the parents."

"Fine." Robin said, feeling defeated.

"I've got to go now."

Before Red could push the button, this time, Robin interrupted him. "Before you do, how did you know it was for Austin—that is, how did you know it was Raven's baby?"

"I heard about the rumors the last time Raven had spawn a baby. Word around is that you were against it from the very start, out of fear that the brat would follow Trigon the Terrible. That is why, my dear Robin, I was glad to hear you were looking for me…and the S.H. drug."

And with that, Robin slammed on the 'power' button for the monitors with such fiery that he almost broke the damn thing. Then he sat back in his chair. How could Red X be so cruel? Referring to Austin and Lydia as Demonic children and using words like 'spawn' and 'brat'. Of course, Robin had to admit, he did _once_ feel that way about Lydia, thinking it was going to be the second coming of Trigon; he didn't anymore. Although, Lydia's powers were something else. 'Expressive' Starfire would say. '_Destructive'_ was the proper word he felt, and the fact that the Lydia had to hold in some of her emotions seemed cruel.

But would the Logan's understand why he did what he had to do? Would Cyborg understand? _Would even Starfire understand_? Probably not. He suspected many sleepless nights on the couch were coming his way. He turned around and made his way back upstairs.

* * *

"I hate parties." Raven muttered as she was shuffling down the hallway with her family.

She was wearing a long, dark blue, silk dress with long sleeves and a lavender flower attached to its side. Garfield managed to force her to wear blush, just so she would at least look like she was enjoying herself—even if she was, she still needed the blush. Lydia was in her arms instead of Austin, due to the fact that Raven was afraid everyone would just crowd around her too much to see the new baby.

Lydia was wearing a yellow beaded hipster drop-waist dress, with a white ribbon separating the top from the flowing skirt. Raven had allowed Lydia to curl her hair and wear a bow—much to joy of Garfield—but she still had to tie it in a pony tail. Azarath knows what kind of trouble kids can get into with their hair.

Garfield wore a casual purple suit with black pants—not _too_ fancy, but fancy enough to be emitted in the party. He figured he would be on the 'worst dressed' list on an issue of a magazine that was probably taking pictures. He just hoped his purple and Raven's blue didn't clashed too much with Lydia's yellow in a family photo—someone might go blind staring from their dark clothes too much to seeing Lydia's bright, colorful outfit.

He was holding Austin in his hands, who was sporting a light blue blanket wrapped around him, wearing a white jumper on underneath. He was sound asleep and Raven wanted him to stay asleep in his bed—but Garfield insisted that they might as well get it over with and show him to the press, and their friends, before people started asking questions. After all, if Raven showed up to the party with twenty pounds lost, there wasn't any other way they were going to get through the night without answering a hundred and one questions.

They could just say he was born last week, and the press was wrong about the dates, all of whom were either speculating that the baby was late or that he was born, but Raven would not attend the party nonetheless—nobody needed to know he was born _five_ weeks ago…at least not yet. But it was Starfire and Robin's tenth anniversary party—there was no excuse—they _had_ to come.

"Why do I have to go again?" Raven asked Garfield.

"Because if we don't, we're just going to continue with this lie. The press needs to see him. Plus, I want to show him off."

"Be careful what you wish for." She said. "Do the other Titans know?'

"Most of them probably know by now, but they wouldn't dare talk to any reporters. Let's just get these pictures over with."

"Daddy, did people take pictures of _me_ when I was born?" Lydia asked, looking over to Garfield.

"_Did_ they? Why, they took so many, _you_ were almost _blinded_ by the flashlights." He said with enthusiasm.

"Well, did _they_?" Lydia asked again, not believing him because of his theatrical energy.

"Actually, your Daddy is right." Raven said. "You were so interesting—probably because of _this_ wild hair—that they took a lot of photographs."

"But they're _not_ going to blind Austin, are they? Didn't you guys say he was fragile?" Lydia asked, concerned, looking over to her baby brother. "What if he opens his eyes and gets blinded by the flashes like you said—"

"—No, no. I was only joking, Lydia. He won't become blind. He's sleeping right now." Garfield said.

"But what if he wakes up—!"

"Calm down, Lydia." Raven whispered. "I can feel you getting agitated. We don't want a repeat of what happened at your birthday party when you got _too_ excited then. Uncle Cyborg is _still_ trying to find a new TV. And a new insurance policy on such TV's. Remember your breathing. You're six now, you need to start acting like it."

"Right." She said, closing her eyes and exhaling. "Okay." She opened her eyes. "But if any papa-papa-proper—potesy—yahtzee comes up too close, I'm gonna yell at them to go away."

"Lydia!" Garfield scolded. "Don't do that, it's not ladylike."

"Relax, Daddy, she's just protecting her brother." Raven said softly. "Yes, Lydia, you can yell at them all you want to get away from Austin, but just as long as you are staying _calm_ when you are doing that. Okay?"

"Okay." She said, showing off her smile to Daddy to show that she had won a battle with Mama and he had lost.

After a few temper tantrums, a few sleepless nights, and a _long_ talk with Mama and Daddy, Lydia was finally told what exactly had happened to Austin—that he wasn't as healthy as _she_ was when she was born. That he was much tinier then he was supposed to be and he was weak, to a certain extent. After she was told all of this, she didn't feel as mad as she used too when she first heard he was a boy.

No, when she first heard he was a boy, all she could picture was the image of a big bully who could take away her toys, pull her hair, and physically hurt her. But after she was told something was _wrong_ with him—she didn't know what happened—suddenly all of that nonsense about having a sister didn't seemed to matter anymore. After all, Bruce was still technically a baby and she knew she could push him more then _he_ could push her.

All those worries about her being picked on—or even the idea about him having his birthday before hers'—just seemed to vanished, and she saw Austin for what he really was—her _sibling_, not her foe. He was her toy—her master in crime when they could commit an act against the tyranny of adults—not her villain.

"When can I hold him?" Lydia asked as they were nearing the entrance to the living room. "I barely get to hold Bruce anymore because he's too big, but _he's_ so tiny (_pointing to Austin_). I know I can hold him."

"Soon, Lydia, soon." Raven said as they arrived at the door.

It was guarded by two men in their late thirties, dressed in formal tuxes and wearing sunglasses, despite the fact that they were inside. One of them had a small scar on his cheek. It probably wasn't their craziest gig yet, just guarding the living room doors that gains the entrance to the rest of the Titans Tower. The party was only in the living room and the roof, the rest of the Tower was off limits due to the obvious facts. Didn't want the press snooping around Starfire's room and so forth.

"Mrs. Logan, Mr. Logan." The guard who the a scar on his cheek said.

"Just Raven and Beast Boy. Please." Garfield said, trying to hide his annoyance towards the man. He didn't want security checkpoints in his own home. Why couldn't Starfire have rented out space in a hotel instead of having it _here_ in the Tower?

"Of course." He said, sensing Garfield's frustration. "Sorry, we're used to addressing people with titles or using their formal names."

Raven put Lydia down, holding onto her hand, as they were about to step out into the public's eye in their own home. Garfield held a firm grip on Austin in his arms, allowing his face to be seen, but ready at any moment to cover him if Garfield felt it was necessary.

The guard opened the door, and before any of them could see the décor inside the living room, they were blinded by the stinging sight of flickering lights and the sound of a million and one clicks filling the room, as the press was blocking the Logan's entrance to their own living room. Once they were all inside, the door was shut, and Raven once again remembered why she disliked attention so much. She tried putting up her hand up to her eyes a couple of times—just to rub them and get rid of the annoying red spots that plagued her eyesight—but she was yelled at by others to put her hand down and 'take a decent picture with your family, look happy'.

How fitting. A complete stranger giving her advice on how to act around her own children and husband.

She put her hand down and gave a small grin for ten more seconds, looking down at Lydia as she did so, hoping that Lydia would start showing signs of being uncomfortable so Raven could feel justified in waving them off. What six-year old needed this much attention? It was overwhelming as it was for an adult.

Well, for Raven at least.

Starfire tended to be shyer around cameras, but felt honored when she was asked to take one. Cyborg was _the_ posing man of the team, could take as many pictures, and always had something to say for the press—which probably could explain why he had difficult relationships with the women in his life, running a big mouth could get you in trouble sometimes. Robin could handle a few pictures and interviews every now and then, but when he said stop, the press listened. The press could harassed countless celebrities—including Rae herself—without ever even offering an apology from them, but when it came to Robin, the press acted like a bunch of kids who were in trouble with the school's principal.

And then there was Garfield. At first he was just like Cyborg—always loved the attention, could always run his mouth—but as time went on, he slowly started to hate the press. He loved being a Titan and all, but hated having his picture taken. Maybe it was some early thirties mid-life crisis. Maybe it was because he had children now and felt protective. Or maybe it was because Rae herself, from the moment he loved her, he hated everything else that she hated.

It probably was the last one; made the most sense.

Finally, Robin came around the side of the room, recusing the Logan's by the photographers, and waved the press off. They all were escorted to a corner of the main room. The Logan's eyes adjusted and they all could see the transformation of their main room.

All the furniture was moved out, making it the ideal place for a large and empty space to occupy. There were a few dozen white dining tables set up, with twelve seats to each table, all placed around the outside perimeter of the living room, where people could enjoy their food in peace. The kitchen counter had a huge buffet laid out for the guest, with five-star top notched food. There was a string of white lights hanging on the walls, which circled around the room. Since the main lights of the room were turned off, it gave the room a cozier and more intimate vibe. In the center of the room—where the Titans usually rested on the couch—was a dance floor, with a small jazz band playing soft music on the side.

Raven held her breath—there was around a hundred people in this small room, and Azarath knows, a hundred _more_ up on the roof. For now, she just had to deal with the living room guests first.

"Oh, good. You guys decided to bring Austin." Robin said, smiling as he waved away the last photographers who were still trying to take pictures. He was dressed sharply, in a black tuxedo, black pants and bowtie, and rose in his pocket. He had gelled back his hair to look more presentable, with a few wild hairs sticking out here and there. After Robin had said 'Austin', there was a sound of great whispering among the press and paparazzi.

"Raven! Did you name him after the great city in Texas?—" One female reporter asked.

"—Do you spell that with a 'tin' or a 'ten' at the end?—"

"—What was the birthing process like? Did you get C-section or did you opt for a natural one again?—"

"—Why all this secrecy!?—"

"—Stand closer—"

"—Over here!—"

"—Beast Boy, can you hold him up higher—"

"—Enough!" Robin shouted towards the crowd, and they all seemed silenced from the sound of his voice. They continued to take pictures though.

"Friends! Finally, you are here!" A voice cried out from a distance. Starfire came rushing over to Robin's side. She was stunning in her silk, hot pink strapless dress, with her hair up in curls and in a loose bun. She had a dash of blush, eyeliner, and pink lipstick on. The sound of cameras flickered their flashes filled the room.

"Yes, we are. This is quite a turn out." Raven said, looking around the room, becoming a little intimidated by the number of people in the room—and also from all the pictures that were being taken of her. "Robin, can you please?..."

"Oh, sure. Okay, guys, that's enough, I'm sending you all to the roof!" He shouted as he started to escort a crowd of grown people—that were all probably a little older _than_ him—away from the scene.

Raven held onto Lydia's hand tight, before she kneeled down to meet Lydia's eyes. "Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

Lydia was smiling. "I'm fine, Mama. I did my extra meditation and everything—can't I go play with the other kids now? You said I can. And I pose for the pictures and everything."

Raven smirked, brushing a piece of hair away from her forehead so she can stare deeply into those forest green eyes. Oh, why did she ever let Starfire talk her into curling Lydia's hair? It didn't matter if it was in a pony tail or not, it still made Lydia look like a poor orphan girl with this unkempt hair.

* * *

"_She's not just angry, she's experiencing her extreme emotions. Not the normal kind, the dangerous one. It's Rage." Raven said. Garfield stumbled backwards a bit and was speechless by the news._

"_What?" Lydia asked, confused, trying to decide which parent to turn too. "What's going on? It was an accident…Daddy, I didn't mean it…(turning her head) Mama, what's 'rage'? What do you mean 'the dangerous one'?" She asked, as she slowly walked over to her._

* * *

While Raven was devastated that her child was premature, she was at least a little grateful that Austin had the best timing in the world when her water broke, so that she could escape _that_ particular conversation for a while. But then afterwards, Lydia had questions. _Many_ questions.

Raven answered the basic ones, but she tried her hardest not to give too much away—unlike the Monks who thought it was best to tell little Raven _everything_—she didn't want to traumatize Lydia for life with some of the worst details. Although, by this point, if Lydia wasn't already somehow screwed up, it was some kind of miracle.

"Mama, can I go now? Please!" Lydia shouted, breaking Raven's concentration.

"Sure, go ahead. We might not be here when they give the toast though, so be a good girl. Remember what I told you, about how I need to take care of Austin? So, you will be representing your Dad and I when we're not around. Make us look good." She said, before kissing her forehead and letting her run off with the other kids.

She heard a 'click' and saw a flash light up from the corner of her eyes. Instead of glaring down at the man who took the photo of a private moment with her daughter, she just allowed her black energy to surround the camera the man was holding and let it melt in his hands.

"Ahh!" The man shouted.

"Raven, please don't do anything that will get us sued." Garfield said, smirking as he watched the man tried to wipe the camera's burnt plastic off his hand.

"Sued? Nobody's _that_ stupid." She said standing up.

"Rae…."

"What? I came to the party, I put on some makeup…I even smile for those cameras, in which I know only _two_ of those photos will ever appear on anything, because who cares about the emo girl and the stay-at-home shape shifter? They only wanted to see Robin and Starfire. And then Austin, and he's barely photogenic."

She reached over to where Garfield stood and opened up the blanket that was covering Austin's head and could see he was still asleep…for now. Day by day, he was getting better, getting stronger, although nobody could tell that just by looking at him—his pale complexion was there to stay due to genetics—but he was eating more, becoming responsive to his surroundings, and breathing just fine on his own now.

Raven would not follow her mother's advice this time—in fact, come to think of it, to _hell with her and her teachings_—Raven was going to touch her child for the first year regardless of what kind of side effects the Monks were afraid would happen. It probably was more superstition than anything else. Nothing had _really_ happened with Lydia when Raven started to pick her up or breast feed her more. Raven was sure it was some kind of superstition—the Monks, her mother—that they all had about Lydia being the first quarter-born Demon.

She loved her mother—well, _respected_ was probably the better word to use—but as Garfield had said before when she was having nightmares about Trigon, it was time to let go of the past. Old teachings didn't necessarily make them the best teachings. She knew she would have to visit Arella at some point and tell her that her Austin was born—_oh yeah_, that would require her to tell Arella that she had gotten pregnant again.

_Shit_, time certainly does go by when you live in different dimensions.

Raven took Austin from Garfield and held him in her arms. This would be her greatest excuse to get out of a party yet.

"My get out of jail free card." She whispered to Garfield, he smirked.

"Yes, but you know at some point, I do want a dance from you." He whispered back, eyeing the center where there were a few kids and adults standing around, slightly moving their hips and waving their arms in the air to some song the band was playing.

Garfield dragged her to one the empty tables, at least for the moment. They could smell lobster and prime rib near their area—as they were close to the buffet—and so it was only a matter before time someone would sit at their table. She just wanted to be left alone with her newborn—it wasn't her fault Robin and Starfire's anniversary came around the same time.

"Now, I have to go check up on Cy." Garfield said, as he was looking around the room. "I need to make sure he isn't hitting the bar too hard. I know Jinx and Flash are somewhere around here. You okay?" She raised her head to meet his eyes.

"He's asleep, we'll be just fine, Daddy." She said, before looking back down. "Just make sure to keep Cyborg _away_ from Jinx if he gets a little buzz. I don't know what he's capable of when he's an angry drunk."

He nodded, even though she didn't see it, and walked away, on the hunt for his robotic friend. There was a pause from the band after they had finished up with one of their songs before they started playing a mellow, slow song. Great, now everybody was going to leave the dance floor, because it was _way_ too early in the night to start playing the slow songs. But at least she could have a few minutes with her Austin, making sure if he woke up she could feed him right away—

"Hey Raven!" Oh, great, it was already starting. That familiar voice she hadn't heard in a long time in this tower. Raven saw the saucy Bumblebee spying her a few feet away, waving at her, before she strolled down to the table and pulled up a chair right next to Raven.

It had been a long time since Bumblebee had been in this Tower—ever since Cyborg stopped seeing her. Or was it the other way around? It seemed like months or years ago, she forgot which. Whatever, water under the bridge. Bumblebee was wearing what looked like an expensive silk yellow top, with a V-neck, fitted for formal wear and a long, black pencil skirt that went down to her ankles. She had her hair up in one bun instead of her usual pink tails. She was holding a small box with her that had blue wrapping paper around it.

"Meant to give this to you at the wedding, _but_…I wasn't invited." She said awkwardly, extending the present to Raven.

"Oh, thank you." Raven said, surprised by the gesture, and using her black energy to lift her son up a few inches off the table, so her hands were free to open it.

Inside the small box was a book called 'Parenting a Premature Baby'. Raven almost dropped the book once she read the title, and looked up to Bumblebee, stunned.

"How…how did…" She stumbled, unable to comprehend the book in her hand.

"Cyborg told me." Bumblebee whispered, looking around the area to make sure nobody was eavesdropping.

"Cyborg?"

"Yes. He called me up the night he was born. I guess he wanted to talk to someone about it other than you two or Robin and Starfire. An outside source, I guess. So, he just called me up and told me. It was a very long conversation, I'll admit, but he talked so much that I felt I _had_ to do something." She added, pointing to the book. "It was funny," She said, smirking before she became somber again. "Seeing his number on my phone again. I almost ignored it."

"So, you felt the need to give me a book then?" Raven asked, trying to stay on subject.

Bumblebee was at first stunned by her reaction, but then became annoyed. "I didn't mean anything by it; I just wanted to do something nice." Raven continued to stare at her as if she was speaking a foreign language. "Look, I was just trying to reach my hand out there, telling you that if you need any help at all…well, I'm here to lend a hand. If you don't like the book, I can take it back—"

"—No, no, it's fine. I am just a little shocked, that's all. I wasn't expecting this—nor Cyborg telling anybody—so forgive me if I'm a little wary. I guess, I guess it would make sense why he would call you…" Raven said, before she stopped herself from saying any more. "Thank you, Bumblebee." She smiled.

Bumblebee tweaked her eyebrow. "What did you mean by 'it would make sense why he would call you'?"

"Oh, it's just that…I guess he feels lonely right now." She said, trying not to say anymore and hoping Bumblebee would be a dear and let it pass. She picked Austin back up as she put the book—cover facedown—on the table.

"Why, what happened?" She asked Raven. "Why does he feel lonely?"

"Because of Austin's early arrival." She quickly said. She wasn't the greatest liar in the world, but she could fool a few people every now and then. Bumblebee nodded her head, but didn't seem to look like she was buying it. She squinted her eyes.

"Can I ask you something Rae?" Oh, for the love of Azarath, can she _not_? "I didn't really read up on what happened at the wedding—or see it on TV for that matter—but, I was wondering, did…"

"It was a boring ceremony. Nothing interesting happened."

"No, I was wondering if… (_sighs_) if he brought a _date_ with him?"

"No, he didn't." Raven said, hoping that this would be the last question she would ask if it had anything to do with Cyborg.

"Well, you see I didn't want to ask, but my teammates thought that I should just ask and—"

"—No, it's okay—"

"—Because you know, I could care less if Cyborg is dating—"

Raven looked down at Austin, wanting desperately to change the subject. "Did you want to hold him? Austin, I mean?" She extended her arms out to show Bumblebee.

Bumblebee was surprised. "Oh, Rae, I would love too. But I don't know how—"

"Just hold out your arms and make sure you support his head." She said, holding out her arms as she passed the sleeping baby.

Bumblebee carefully held onto him as they made the transition, cradled him deep into her arms, while she supported his head with her other hand. She had this ghastly expression on her face, as if she was afraid of dropping him at any point. She also was not willing to rock him back and forth out of fear she would indeed drop him. So, she just sat there, occasionally looking at Raven and then looking back at Austin. The two girls were quiet for a while.

"So, how do you like…holding him?" Raven awkwardly asked. She didn't know what to talk about with her.

"Wow, Rae. He sure does look an awful lot like you—except for the ears though—that is certainly a Beast Boy trait." Bumblebee said, smiling. "He's much heavier than I thought he would be—almost can't tell that he was…" She stopped herself when she saw Raven giving her a solemn look. "Right, it's a secret."

"Yes, it is, and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anybody. The press will figure it out soon enough, but right now, I prefer to keep it a secret."

"You must think I am acting all silly, asking about Cyborg. After all, he's probably on his third girlfriend of this month."

"I don't know about that, I tend to stay out of my friend's love lives—ironically, they couldn't just stay out of _mine_—but that's another story. If you're so curious, why don't you just ask Cyborg _yourself_?" Raven said, getting tired of having to talk about this any longer.

"I don't know…I just don't know…"

"You know, I am not exactly the right person to ask. Starfire is much better at this 'drama' stuff then I am." Raven said. Austin started to whimper. Thank Azarath.

"Oh, am I doing something wrong!"

"No, no, he's just waking up. And I think he's going to be hungry."

"Did I wake him up?—I'm sorry Rae, I didn't mean too—"

"—No, no. He's a baby. He was bound to wake up soon." She said, holding out her arms to retrieve Austin back. By now, he was beginning to cry very loudly. Raven saw Bumblebee's solemn expression. "You did fine, Bumblebee, this is what babies do. They wake up and cry. It's nothing new."

Bumblebee looked longingly at Raven, who was holding the young Titan in her arms, swaying him back and forth before he quieted down a bit. She then used her black energy to grab a white blanket out of Garfield's baby bag, which was sitting next to her. She carefully allowed the blanket to wrap around her right shoulder, and her eyes were only looking down at Austin, who was hidden from Bumblebee's vision by the blanket.

Ever so carefully, a small grin appeared on Raven's face as Bumblebee continued to watch and could hear a suckling sound.

"I don't want to talk to Starfire," Bumblebee said suddenly, as if they were still having a conversation. Raven looked up, confused about what she was saying. "About Cyborg, I mean. I feel more comfortable asking you, which is why I'm not bothering her."

Dammit, she wouldn't let it go. "Then why are you bothering me?" Raven had to ask.

"Because, _you_ know," She said mischievously. Raven shook her head, still confused by what in the world she was talking about and why did Raven have to be a part of it. "You and Beast Boy." She exclaimed, pointing at the green man across the room.

Raven looked over at him and saw that he was trying to teach Lydia how to do the tango—if the band would ever play some. She then looked back to Bumblebee, still baffled by her meaning. "No, I don't."

"You and Beast Boy had an 'on' again 'off' again relationship. You know, the drama kind. Starfire's wasn't like that, so if anybody should understand my current dilemma it would be you and what to do. So, what did you do?" She asked, wide eye.

"Well, I…for one, we _weren't_ like that…"

"Yes, you were."

"No, what I am saying is that…it's complicated. My powers—_they_ were the ones that would break us up, not me—well _sometimes_ me—but certainly not Garfield." She said, looking down again Austin, making sure he was getting well fed. "In fact, why don't you go ask Garfield? He's the one that always managed to break that extra wall I would put up in front of us—I wasn't the one to get us back together. When I was, he was always ecstatic and accepted my apology right away. I didn't _force_ myself to feel anything with him, like love; he didn't either, he just felt it first and tried to convince me so earnestly. It all just came naturally with time. I was just a slower learner. That's all."

"So, if he's single right now, should I…"

"…If you can't force it, don't try too." Raven said brutally, looking up at Bumblebee, tired of this talk. "Look, I already watched him get his heart broken a couple of months ago, I don't want to see it again. Just because I can hide my emotions doesn't mean they aren't there. I am _livid_ with Jinx and I will be with _you_ too _if_ you plan on doing anything to Cy while he is in this vulnerable state. Just because he's on his own right now, doesn't mean he needs another lady."

"Raven! How could you think so low of me? You don't know what happened between us!"

"You're right, I don't." Raven said in a calming voice as she looked down to Austin again. "Which is exactly why I am trying to _stay out_ of it. Thank you for the gift, but beware my warning."

Bumblebee felt insult; she wanted to get up and leave the area, stomping her feet along the way, but thought that wouldn't look good on her part, disrespecting a new mother. But as she continued to watch Raven feed—well at least from the view she had—Austin, she began to not feel as angry as she once did. Soon, those angry thoughts turn to happiness, or was it a friendly envy?

* * *

_At lastttt_

_My love has come along_

_My lonely days are over_

_And life is like a songggg_

The female singer of the band sang on as Robin and Starfire took center stage and were slowly waltzing around. It had been an hour since the Logan's had arrived, and they barely had eaten any dinner before it seemed like that all the toasting and dancing for the two of the hour had started. Garfield tried to eat as fast as he could—and drink a little—before he would be forced to make the inevitable speech that he would have to make because he happened to be the best man at _their_ wedding. Fuck, even his own vows weren't this hard—well, his vows wasn't really a _speech_, but rather a long sentence—he had a hard enough time making that stupid best man speech ten years ago too. And now, he had to make it _again_. Just because they were together after ten years on a piece of paper?

"Daddy! Daddy! Can I have more pasta! And bread!" Lydia asked, as she was about to slip out of her chair to get more food.

"Lydia, you already had _three_ servings of pasta. Aren't you full?" Raven asked as she was eating her own food, occasionally checking up on Austin, as he was floating just a few inches away from her from her black energy.

Only six other people dared to sit in the same table as the Logans—all of them Titans though; Cyborg, Aqualad, Bumblebee, Speedy and the two devilish twins, Más y Menos, although Bumblebee and Cyborg were not sitting next to each other. Robin and Starfire had a place at the Logan's table, but the two hosts seemed to have a spot at everyone's table, as they both went around the room greeting people and having small chitchat.

"But I want more!" Lydia said.

"Moreeeee!" Garfield said in low British voice, teasing as he was referencing a movie she hadn't seen. But Lydia could see he was joking, even if she didn't understand the joke. "_One_ more. And then that should be enough."

"Oh, okay." She said, as she skipped down her chair and ran over to the buffet table.

"Why does she always ask you?" Raven asked.

"Because she knows I am a pushover; I can't help it." He said.

"Well, remember that she could take that for granted. Don't let her push you too hard." She said. He smiled, before he looked down at his plate and then taking out a piece of paper from his pocket. "You rehearsed so much, you'll be fine, Garfield."

"I know, I just hate public speaking."

"How? You're the one who loves the spotlight."

"Well, you don't have to _speak_ when you beat down a guy with your shape shifting abilities. You just smile for the camera. Remember, I could barely get out my vows."

"But you got them out; and you managed to give a speech ten years ago. I am sure you'll be fine. And if not, just pretend you are only speaking to _me_ about Robin and Starfire."

"Okay," He said, smiling as he looked at his son floating in the air. His smile faded. "How's he doing?"

"He's just fine; he's cried at least three times, but I manage to put him back to sleep, for now at least. I want to hurry up and eat before he starts crying again."

"Anything new about what happened…"

Raven shook her head. "Cyborg's still looking into it. Let's just be grateful that he's fine."

"But is he?"

"Garfield, please." She said, holding out her hand. He grabbed it. "Please, let's not discuss this here, not now. Every day I'm healing him, bit by bit. He's getting better. I'm trying my best, I'm…"

"…You don't have to say anymore. I _know_ you're trying your best, Rae. I just thought I ask everyday whenever I get a chance. You see, that's _my_ way of showing I care." He said, giving her a small grin before he bend his head down and kissed her hand. She smiled back.

"Remember, I owe you one slow dance." She reminded him.

Robin and Starfire's song carried on before it ended and began to slowly shift towards a faster song. Other couples and some of the kids started to make their way towards the dance floor.

"We'll dance later, when it gets a little less crowded." He whispered to Raven. They could see Lydia with little Bruce, who was wearing his own tuxedo, in her hands making their way to the dance floor as well with everyone else. "At least she doesn't want pasta anymore." He said, pointing to their daughter aiding Bruce in a dance he didn't care or understood because he want to just suck her hands whenever she grabbed them.

Lydia didn't seemed to mind or cared, she just wanted to dance.

* * *

"….And what more can I say that hasn't already been said then…well, I love you Starfire and our beautiful child, Bruce." Robin finished saying in the microphone as everyone cheered and clapped at the end of his speech.

Fuck, now it was Garfield's turn. Everybody else had their say, and for some stupid reason, they decided to let the best man and maid of honor to go last—which meant Garfield and Raven. And then anybody else who wasn't in the wedding could add something in if he/she wanted. Maybe that's how it was supposed to go, or maybe Robin and Starfire knew about Garfield's stage fright so they went last. Well, not really stage fright, just nervousness about having to give a speech. In front of many people.

Everybody was quiet and waiting as Robin handed the microphone to Garfield. At first, Garfield was about to start saying something, but he paused after he looked up and could see everybody in the room—_everybody_—all starring at him. There must have been about a hundred pairs of eyes watching him fumble and stutter for a few seconds.

"I just….uh….well, you see…uh…" He blurted out. Raven couldn't take it anymore—this wasn't exactly the _King's Speech_, but she'll be damned if she heard anyone in the room start to yawn because of him. So, with Austin in her hands she quickly snatched the microphone with her black energy from his hands, just as she handed Austin to him.

"What I think Garfield here was _trying_ to say—before our little one started whimpering—was that…a long time ago," Raven began. "_Beast Boy_ over here was just an annoying boy. Always trying to get my attention, making stupid jokes, pretending that he was a ladies' man—_when he wasn't_—he was just _so_ annoying back then."

There was a bit of laughter in the air, before Raven continued on.

"And at one point, I asked 'why are you so annoying', and he said, 'I'm not like Robin, Raven. I'm not smooth, mature, or a nature born leader. I'm also not like Cyborg, who's also smooth, smart, and knows the best lines to pick up chicks. I'm just funny. That's all I got. I don't know how else to get your attention'. He didn't say it exactly like that; he kind of fumbled around with his words—unlike _now_—but close to the point."

Again, there was some laughter in the room.

"And that's when I first realized, that he had a crush on me. So, you're all asking yourselves, why am I bringing this up then? Well, if it weren't for Robin and Starfire's little romance that had developed over the years on the team, Garfield over here would have lost hope a _long_ time ago for me. Their romance and love inspired him—and to a certain exempt, I'll admit, me as well—and if they _did not_ get married, I do not think Garfield and I would be married today and have this beautiful family like Robin and Starfire have Bruce. So, let's all raise our glasses," She said, lifting up a glass of water. "To their inspiration."

"To inspiration!" Everyone said as they all clanged their glasses together and took a sip.

Raven handed the microphone over to Garfield and whispered a few words in his ear.

"Okay, got it." He whispered back to her, with one hand holding the microphone and the other holding onto Austin. After a few minutes, the room quieted down again, waiting for the nervous boy to make his statement. "Well, okay." He said, trying not to sound too nervous. "I just want to say I have proposed to my wife Raven here _seven_ times before Starfire and Robin got married."

Laughter filled the room.

"And then when they finally _did_ get married, I _only_ had to proposed to her _five_ more times before she finally said 'yes'. So it must be true that she was inspired by then, or I will still be here today, asking her hand for the _fiftieth_ time." He finished, with everybody laughing and toasting to the words 'fiftieth time'.

Garfield turned off the microphone and handed it back to Robin, glad that it was over. Everyone went back to eating.

* * *

"Cyborg, _please_, not tonight. It's Robin and Starfire's night." Garfield tried to comfort his friend as Cyborg was on his third whisky glass, just swishy it around and then drinking it in one gulp. It had been about two hours. And Jinx and her new husband Flash could not just stay out of his way, they were always within earshot of each other.

Cyborg tried to go to the roof—but then they would be at the roof too after a while. So, he tried to stay close to other friend's who probably wouldn't greet either of them—but then Jinx or Flash just happened to be talking to other's who then made their way to greet Cyborg himself. And while Jinx and Flash had tried _their_ best to stay away from Cyborg, they too couldn't escape him. For a huge party in a huge Tower, it was still a small world. Now the bar was looking mighty attractive to him.

"What do you want us to do?" Garfield asked him, placing a hand on Cy's shoulder, with Raven and Austin sitting right next to him.

"There's….there's nothing you can do, B." He said, trying to act a little more somber then how he actually was.

"Do you want to call it a night?"

"No! No, I shouldn't….have to leave. _They_ should." He said, getting frustrated. "This is _my_ Tower." He whispered, looking down at his robotic hands. "I built this baby…from the remainder of…whatever was left in that spaceship. This is _my_ home."

"Garfield, let him be." Raven whispered in his ear. "We can just go ask Jinx and Flash to leave."

"You're right." Garfield said.

"No!...Don't do that either….if you do, they'll _know_…" Cyborg said.

"Dude, I think they already know." Garfield said, but he didn't press the matter. He turned to Raven. "What should we do? I know Lydia's bedtime is almost here, but I still haven't had a dance with you yet. We can't just leave yet and even if we stayed, we can't leave _here_."

"Don't….pretend I can't hear ya'll…" Cyborg muttered.

"Is something wrong?" A voice cried out. She had come back to the table to get her clutch, since she was planning on going up to the roof and didn't want to leave it behind.

"We have it covered, Bumblebee." Raven said, as she looked behind and saw the woman towering above her.

"Doesn't look like it." She remarked, looking down at Cyborg who was barely holding his cup still as he sipped his whiskey.

"Cyborg, friend, I heard the distressing news!" Another voice cried out. It was Starfire making her way towards them. Their table certainly was becoming _the_ place to be tonight. Starfire pulled up a chair next to him when she had spotted the Logan's. "I did not know Cyborg was feeling this way until this last minute. But the band has already informed me that they will stop playing music after two more songs. Go ahead, friends, do not distress yourself and go dance."

"But—" Garfield started.

"No more of these 'with the but's'. I know you wanted to have one dance with Raven, Beast Boy. Please, go and have fun. And I will look after Austin while you do the dancing." She said, offering her hands when Raven wasn't quite sure. "Please, let us all not be 'down in the blues'."

Raven cautiously handed Austin to Starfire as she took Garfield's hand. She gave one more glare at Bumblebee, warning her in that glare not to do anything wrong to her heart broken friend, before she was off with Garfield.

Garfield went up to the band and requested a song. When they said they couldn't play any Beatles songs at the moment with any singing because the singer had left, he looked at Raven, smiled, and decided he didn't have any other choice. He didn't want to listen to the instrumentals of 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' without someone singing the lyrics. It just wasn't the same. He whispered to the band about his second request and they all nodded in agreement.

Then he made his over to Raven and they went in the center, intrigued by what was all that whispering about, Raven tweaked her eyebrow, but he only smiled. She looked around, and saw there were at least three other couples there that were pumping their fist to some pop/rap/current song that had made it's way on the radio stations, and now in this big Tower. There were only three couples _because_ the singer had left. It just wasn't the same without the lyrics, whatever those lyrics were. Why did she leave so soon? Whatever.

The band then ended the song with the sound of applause from the few people who were there enjoying the instrumentals. Nobody got up to introduce the next song—the one Garfield requested—no way, that would be too easy for her to figure out in what hell she would be dancing too. She knew it was some sort of swing song. It had to be, but what was torturious enough for her feet and his amusement?

The band just all looked at each other, nodded their heads for counting, and then the drummer started to play the opening beeps.

_ Do di dun-dun-dun-dun…do di dun-dun-dun-dun…_

"I hate you." Raven whispered, smiling at him as she recognized the music.

"I know." He said, grinning. She put her right hand on his shoulder with her left hand holding onto his right hand. His left hand was resting on her right hip. At the sound of the trumpets starting to warm up—which sounded like elephants blowing their nose—they began to circle around the dance floor, alternating their hand placement.

It was the swing song 'Sing, Sing, Sing' by Benny Goodman. And not only would they dance around for a very long time with a lot of energy, but everyone would watch them because of the song. It was one of those big band songs that could catch your ear, but you never really placed on what the damn thing was called.

When the saxophones or 'chorus' part started to blare out, Raven and Garfield split apart, held onto one hand and tried to tap dance their way across the room to the beat of the song—failed miserably—but by then people were making room for them so at least nobody got hurt. When the chorus started again, they once again tried to skip their way to the other end of the room, this time a little more successfully, without tripping over their own feet.

Raven twirled into Garfield's arms, her head facing away from his and they slowly swayed their hips and feet to the slow part. When the chorus picked up again, she twirled out of his arms, took his other hand and they once again circled around the room, alternating their hand placement.

Her feet would be killing her that night, and now she would be 'outed' on being a dancer—well, not a _dancer_, a person who took classes for the benefit of their spouse—but still, she would be exposed. By now everybody was looking at them—someone was probably taping this on their phone too so the people on the roof wouldn't miss out.

A few Charleston's steps here, a few jitterbugs there, and they were almost out in the clear.

When the big finale part was on its way, they clapped each other's hands in a pattern while they were tapping their right foot on the other's right side and their left foot on the other's left side. This part was stupid, but Garfield liked it, because it was kind of like patty-cake. Then the trumpets blare out their horns to let them know it was about to end, so Raven spun around in his arms before Garfield lifted her up with her one leg stretching out for the finale. There was an atrocious amount of applause much to Raven's displeasure.

_Fuck_, and she tried so hard to maintain her 'quiet' status. She slid down Garfield.

"I still….hate you." She said, almost out of breath, smiling with her hair was frizzy and her body was sweating.

"You're the….one who married me." He retorted back, smiling. His own tie was coming undone and he was sweating like a dog as well. "Come on….enjoy the glory…You're no longer the Titan that gets pregnant….you're now 'the surprising dancer'."

TOLD YOU IT WAS LONG. I HATE EXTREMELY LONG CHAPTERS MYSELF, BUT MOST OF IT TAKES PLACE IN ONE NIGHT, AND I JUST WANT TO PUT IT UP BECAUSE OF HOW LONG IT TOOK. I'VE HAD WORK, AND I MEAN _WORK WITH THE PUBLIC_. COMPARED TO SCHOOL, WORKING WITH THE PUBLIC DURING THE HOLIDAYS IS THE REAL FINAL EXAM.

SO, FOR ANYBODY WHO WORKS WITH THE PUBLIC LIKE I DO AND NEEDS TO TAKE MEDICATION FROM NOT HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN, REMEMBER, IT'S ALMOST OVER, I HOPE.


	46. The Hard Truth

SO, I THINK THIS STORY WILL COME TO IT'S END SOMETIME THIS YEAR. I CAN'T SAY WHEN BECAUSE I HAVEN'T WRITTEN THE ENDING. IT'S BEEN GREAT, BUT I FEEL I HAVE RUN MY COURSE AND BETTER GRACIOUSLY END THE STORY IN A NICE BOW RATHER THEN JUST TO KEEP WRITING JUST FOR THE SAKE OF WRITING. ACCORDING TO MY ROUGH DRAFTS, I HAVE WRITTEN 489 PAGES, SO LET'S JUST KEEP THIS AT A HARRY POTTER LENGTH OR THE EQUIVALENT OF TWO JANE AUSTEN NOVELS AND NOT AN ATLAS SHRUGGED LENGTH WHERE ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTER'S HAS A SPEECH THAT GOES ON FOR _70 PAGES_ (I KNOW I WILL HAVE TO READ THAT BOOK ONE DAY, BUT STILL, NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO IT) I HAVE ALSO SHIFTED SOME OF MY GEARS TOWARDS A NEW STORY, ABOUT ANIMANIACS, NOT TEEN TITANS, SORRY. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH DOT STORIES ON THE SITE. I WILL WARN YOU WHEN THE END IS COMING, BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S JUST A CRUISE BOAT, WHERE YOU ARE JUST ENJOYING THE JOURNEY.

_Smack!_

Starfire quickly lowered her hand and gasped, surprised—more from her own actions then the news he told her. Robin felt his cheek start to burn up from the sharp sting. He rubbed it, trying to get rid of the red hand print that was stamped on his left cheek. Starfire couldn't believe what she had done and her hands continued to shake as she drifted back a foot or two away from him.

"I-I am so sorry, Robin. I-I did not mean. I was just _so_ angry that I—"

"—Just reacting? I guess I can't call it human nature." He said coolly.

She walked over to his side and grabbed his chin—_softly_—with her hand to inspect the damage she had done to his face. It was a good thing Bruce wasn't in their room to witness such a scene. Robin had apologized long ago when he had grabbed Starfire's arm hard enough to leave a mark on her all those years ago when he thought he had seen Slade. He could have _really_ hurt her if she was a human since she could feel pain with her alien strength. However, the tables were now turned and Star—with her _alien_ strength—didn't know how much damage she had done to _him_.

"What have I done?" She whispered to herself.

"Still, I wish you would have waited until I told you that I am _fixing_ it as we speak—"

"—Please, do _not_ say anymore." She interrupted, in a biting tone. "While I may be the one who was wrong to hurt you….I-I wish to hear no more until we have taken care of this mark on your face."

It had been a few months since the party—a great length of time had passed by, more then what Robin was willing to admit—but still, each day that Robin thought he could tell the others, his voice disappeared whenever he uttered the confession. Each day brought a new sense of guilt on his conscious, as he saw Austin—_and Lydia_—growing by the minute, right in front of his eyes.

Austin's tiny body was slowly gaining more weight. His frail blond hair was growing thicker—and oddly enough it was discovered that he some lavender highlights in his hair. And while purple is not an appropriate color for boys in their early years—lest they would be picked on—there were enough golden locks to surround the highlights that it caused him to have a silvery looking scalp.

His tiny, long elf ears still baffled the Logan's, as well as scared them at the same time. They were so sure that none of Garfield's 'side effects' from the cure he received as a young boy would be passed down genetically to his children, encoded in their DNA. Lydia didn't show any signs of having metamorphic powers, but now they started to question themselves if she in fact _did_, but haven't matured those hidden powers yet.

Robin didn't believe the drug affected Austin anymore, but still, he couldn't wait any longer, he had to tell his friends at some point. And before he would do that, he would have to tell Starfire first.

It was late at night and so the main room was empty. Robin sat at the kitchen table as Starfire grabbed an ice pack from the fridge—both of them still in uniform. Robin's revelation didn't give them any time to change. Starfire had joined Robin and Cyborg in stopping an armed robbery at an electronics store about two hours ago, leaving Bruce to sleep in the Logan's room. After all, toddlers _tended_ to respond positive around babies and it was also some bonding time with the two-year old, who had just had his birthday a few weeks ago. She walked over to Robin, with fiery eyes as she pressed the ice pack firmly on Robin's cheek.

"I-I do not know what to even say to you, Robin." She pleaded, trying to be both the gentle nurse and yet the moral wife at the same time. Robin took the ice pack in his own hand and allowed Starfire to let go. She stood back.

"I know Star, I screwed up. And I'm sorry. But—"

"—No, Robin. Do not try to talk yourself out of it."

He was silent for a moment, allowing Starfire to have her way. She was still upset over having hit him and tried to hide her tears. She didn't want to say anything. He certainly didn't want to start again, but after a few minutes of Starfire standing there in the silence, sniffing away, with her gloomy eyes affixed on him, he couldn't stand the tension anymore.

"I didn't mean any harm by it—"

"_W-Why_ did you do it?"

"Why? _Why_?!"

"Yes!"

"I would figure _you_ of all people should know why—"

"—But I do not—"

"—Yes, you _do_, I say it so often that you get tired of hearing it—"

"—Of what? Robin, I am afraid I do not know what you are talking about…and I-I have caused you pain, I have hit you—and so while I want to yell or scream or go right up to our friend's room right now and tell them myself, I-I simply cannot." She said, trying to calm herself as she walked across the kitchen and made her way to the living room windows.

"You _have_ to understand, Star. I did all of this for their own sake—not just mine." He started off, as he pressed the ice pack firmly on his cheek and continued to stare at her back.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Raven may believe that she knows what is best for her children, but I don't know if I agree with her methods—"

"—As opposed to what—_poisoning_ them?"

"Star, that's not what I meant!"

"You're right. That was unfair. I told you could explain yourself and yet I am not letting you finish. Please, continue."

She sighed as he moved the ice pack around his cheek, making that unforgettable squeaking sound to her ears.

"Just look at Lydia," Robin said softly. "She has trouble getting on day to day with her powers and all. Every day I watch her struggle to hide her emotions and every day I watch _our_ friends struggle to keep her under wraps. And they have fights about how she should be brought up. Beast Boy tells me Raven will not use any of her mother's methods, which I guess I can respect considering she doesn't have the best childhood memories and why she clings onto Beast Boy like I do with _you_. You and Beast Boy had at least a somewhat pleasant memory of your family, at least more than the rest of us. Maybe that's why I always felt protective of her, like she was my sister in a way, because we both came from broken families."

"Oh, Robin." She said, trying to hold back her tears again, but she couldn't and they slowly descended from her eyes.

"Please, Star, let me continue." He said. "I know what I did probably looked bad….okay, maybe it was a bad thing to do….but I didn't mean any harm by it, I mean I thought _some_ good would come out of it."

"W-what do you mean, _good_?"

"Star, as much as we pretend or beat around the bush about it, we have to just be truthful with ourselves. We have a Demonic being on the team."

"_Robin_—!"

"—Let me finish. _Please_." He pleaded. "I know she's our friend. Half human, I understand—but a still a hybrid, consisting of a Demonic being from Trigon. And while she fights for us, she still fights her _own_ demons because of her species or race or whatever you want to call it. I am glad she was able to find Beast Boy—everyone deserves love—but I can't pretend she's still not a danger sometimes to herself. And so you must understand why I did what I had to do." He said, standing up ever so quietly and slowly walking over to the living room.

"You did not want to watch Austin grow up with Raven's powers." She concluded, frowning at herself for not only understanding Robin's motive, but also not _completely_ blaming him for the way he felt.

"Exactly." He sighed, relieved to hear her voice calm down to a more tolerable state.

"What happened to the old Robin? The one that did not care where our friends came from or what their past was like?"

"That Robin just grew up, became a little wiser in how the world works. We may pretend everything is all black and white, but there is a lot of grey areas in justice, and I cannot in good conscious let them raise another child with destructive powers." He said, hoping not to sound too harsh, but knew he had come off as some kind of arrogant hot shot lawyer. "I just thought, if he didn't have any powers—then no more challenges for Raven and Beast Boy—then maybe the Tower would be a calmer place. And not have to worry too much about all these second generation Titans. It's hard to raise a child as it is now; I-I wanted to help them."

Starfire turned around and stared him with fiery eyes. "I believe you Robin, but Austin was born early and he became sick."

"I know; and I thought I had done enough research on the drug Red X gave me, but I guess I underestimated the side effects it would have."

"I still cannot believe you sought out _his_ help." She argued, folding her arms. "When did you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know, Robin. Poison our friend?"

"Star, quit being so harsh, you're _not_ making this easy. I am really, _truly_ sorry—"

"—then _prove_ it! We must tell our friends."

"'We'? As in _us_? _Together_?" He asked disbelief.

"Of course, Robin. Why?"

"Nothing. It's just that I thought you would send me off to the lion's den."

"I do not understand. Do you mean our friend Beast Boy will turn into a lion and—?"

"No, it's just a saying. I mean, that you would be willing to stand beside me as I confess and not let me do it myself?"

"Of course Robin, I would not abandon you in a dire situation even if it is _your_ own 'the mess to clean up'. I have to make sure they do not harm you. And reason with them that you truly did not mean any harm by it, as we both know how much easier it is to raise a human then an alien hybrid together. I cannot imagine what a Demon hybrid is like." She said, her thoughts trailing off. "Anyway, you do not want to raise a Tamaranean in his Florxglorb years—those are the worst! _Unless_, humans have their own Florxglorb developing stage."

"We do, Star, it's called being a teenager." He said, smiling. She dropped her arms and walked over to him to look at his mark on his cheek again. It was nice to feel her soft hands on his skin, and he cherished the moment, as she could have easily walked out on him for this whole mess. But she didn't. Granted, she did probably the _second_ worst thing in his book, but that small physical abuse was a small price to pay if that meant she was going to stay with him.

"Oh, Robin! I just feel so awful for hurting you. Why would I do such a thing?" She asked herself as she grabbed a new ice pack from the fridge. There were many in the fridge since there were kids running around the Tower. "I just feel like a terrible person, and I have seen too many Earth movies and talk shows to know that—"

"—Hey, hey Star. I'm fine. Your cold looks hurt worse than _this_." He said, pointing to his mark. She walked over to him again and put the new ice pack on his cheek. He moved his face a bit from the sudden change in temperature. He looked into her eyes and she softened her expression.

"Remember when you promised me you would not hurt me again? Well, this time, it is _my_ turn. Robin, I promise never to harm you again, and if I do, you must run away from me."

"Stop it, Star. It was an accident."

"No, no, I am serious. My sister grew up as angry person and tried to hurt me on numerous occasions, I do not want to follow her path. I do not want to be like her. So, _promise me_, you will run away if I ever, ever do that again." She looked deep into his eyes, insistent that Robin should punish her for her actions, even if he didn't necessary want too.

"Okay, Star. I promise." He said to please her.

She sighed in relief, before she narrowed her eyes. "Good, but I am still mad for what you did. I want you to call everybody. You will tell them _now_."

"But Star, they're all probably sleeping, it's almost two—"

"—it does not matter. The longer you delay in telling them, the more you deceive them—even if you do not mean too. And you know what happens when we think we cannot trust you, Robin."

"Yes, I do." He said, looking up at the ceiling and remembering their early years. He took out his communicator. "Calling all Titans. Calling all Titans. Urgent meeting in the main room….calling all Titans. Calling all Titans. Guys, wake up!..."

After a few minutes of each Titan asking Robin why he was having a meeting close to two in the morning on a weekday, Robin had then set the communicator down as he walked over to the window. He looked out at the dark sky, with the crystal clear moon shining above and he tried to believe, for a moment at least, that this too shall pass. He didn't want to think about his _other_ team member he knew long ago, the one that had raised him like his own son all those years ago, his warden—Robin couldn't help but think about _him_ at a time like this. Call it a comforting image to guide him, call it an example on how Robin _should_ behave to go about telling his friends—seeing as this particular team member seemed to _never_ do anything wrong—or call it _theoretically_ disappointing that certain someone far away.

He felt a hand placed upon his shoulder and tried to pretend it comforted him, just for her sake. They both were quiet and just listened to the sound of the clock ticking away the seconds and the small humming noise the refrigerator was making after the door had been ajar for a bit just a few minutes ago.

"It's my own battle, Star, you don't have to come down with me in the trenches." He said.

"No, Robin, I should. I do not agree with what you did or condole it, but I too know what it _feels_ like to do wrong and be sorry about it, even at the time you _believe_ you are doing right." She said.

He turned to her. "Star, I don't know how to say this….but I might have to go away for a while, to let everyone get a break from me."

"Robin, we have not even told them yet, do not think that they will throw you out just yet."

"_Yet_." He repeated.

"We will see what we can do to help them for now or give them space, but let us not talk about going away or taking a vacation just yet." She said softly, stroking her hand on his shoulder.

They both heard the dreadful noise of the door opening and the footsteps of three adults drifting into the main room. When they were young and vibrant, getting up at the drop of a hat was only difficult if there wasn't some source of energy drinks nearby—or tea. Now, considered _middle_-middle-age by many, they still had that certain energy—that spirit—but it was clear that it was slowly being drained away. Cyborg could barely keep his eyes open when walking. Garfield, in his sweats and dirty T-shirt, looked like he was about to strangle the two love birds who dared to wake him up when it wasn't even his turn to feed Austin; and Raven, in her white nightgown, looked tired, but it was clear she hadn't slept yet due to the fact that she was rocking Austin back and forth in her arms. Bruce was fast asleep in their room, but had a baby monitor handy, just in case.

They all three sat down on the couch without a word, preparing to hear an answer from their leader.

Robin had this sudden urge to run away from where he stood or claim that he was mistaken to wake them up, but with Starfire's hand on his shoulder, he knew he had to carry on."Now, I know it's late—"

"—no shit, Sherlock." Grumbled Garfield.

"_Must_ you swear in front of Austin?" Raven asked.

"Rae, he's barely a half-year old."

"Well, what if Lydia was spying on us?"

"She isn't."

"How do you know?"

"Uh, I don't know Rae, let me ask the telepath…._hey Rae_, is Lydia spying on us?" He asked her, daring for her to confirm his answer. She narrowed her eyes and looked sharply at him.

"…No. No, she isn't. But she _could_ have been." She said, defeated.

"Guys, I'm fucking tired, can we just let Robin continue—" Cyborg interjected.

"—Don't _you_ _too_ start with the swearing—"

"—Hey, guys, guys! Stop it!" Robin yelled out, before putting two fingers in his mouth and gave a loud whistle to interrupt all the arguing. If Robin didn't know any better, he would say this was possibly the worst time to tell them. However, even if he caught them in a good mood, would they even _stay_ that way afterwards? Did it matter if he told them tonight or hold it off until tomorrow?

They all stopped yelling and turned their faces to his and Star's. The only noise was Austin squirming in Raven's arms as she tried to get him to settle down. He knew he had to tell them now. He looked down at the ground as he started.

"Okay, now that I got your attention. I have some….what I mean is that I going to tell you guys something awful….but I don't know how to start. It's a bit of bad news and good news, I guess, if you can call it that. I'm sure you guys won't…"

He looked up and saw all of them paying attention to his every word. They were not accustomed to Robin stumbling over his words, even if he did indeed bring bad news. He always got straight to the point when he spoke.

"I know…I know why Austin was born prematurely."

"What—?" Cyborg asked.

"—Are you serious—?" Garfield asked.

"—How did you find out?" Raven inquired in a concerned tone.

Robin paused. "I…I don't where to start." They didn't make a sound, but waited. This silence, however, was haunting to Robin. "Before anybody interrupts, I just want to make it clear, that there wasn't any harm intended."

"Harm intended?" Garfield asked, standing up.

"There_ wasn't any_ harm intended." Robin corrected, before backing up just a bit, a little further away from Garfield. "You see…well, there was…um, this happened a months ago, but—"

"What are you talking about Robin?" Cyborg asked, raising one of his eyebrow.

Robin sighed. "Now, guys _please_ don't get upset. But when I first learned that Raven was pregnant again, I had mixed feelings on the whole situation…"

Garfield widened his eyes in shock before he narrowed them to Robin and clenched his teeth as he began breathing harder as he realized that Robin had done something to his child. Upon the first shock, the team listened to Robin slowly explained his actions. Starfire saw Garfield getting that look his eyes, the eyes of one pissed off shape-shifter about to morph into a dangerous animal. She mouthed the words, 'please' to him, as Robin continued to confess his deeds to the group. She then stood closer to Robin for his own protection.

Cyborg had stood up, walked behind the couch, and leaned on the back of the couch, avoiding any kind of eye contact. Robin knew how much time and research Cyborg had done in order to find out exactly what was wrong with Austin. He hadn't just lied to the Logan's, he also lied to Cyborg, who could have figured out what was wrong with Austin sooner if Robin would have just give him a hint or even straight up told him then, but no.

The whole time Robin was confessing, explaining his actions, and apologizing, he kept on looking towards Garfield, Cyborg, or even to Austin; however he tried very hard not to look into Raven's eyes, otherwise he would just lose his will to continue. She stared up to Robin, trying to composed herself, although she wasn't doing a very good job, and trying not to let old memories of him betraying the team come back to haunt her once more. Had it really been that long? She couldn't think of that now or even what she was listening too, for she was afraid of unleashing her Rage on Robin if she gave into her emotions. So, she sat there calmly, as she held onto Austin.

"….and I really thought that if I could—without any harm coming to the Austin—I would try to make him as normal as possible." Robin began to finish. "However, there were complications, as you know. I have already informed Red X, but since Cyborg has already got rid of the drug in his system, there is nothing left we can do."

"Oh, well, _thank you_ Robin for letting Red X know that!" Garfield shouted, as he started pacing back and forth. "I'm sure we will all sleep better at night knowing that Red X knows how badly you fucked up!"

"Well, he _did_ offer to help, however I told him Austin was clear of the drug, so he said that there was nothing left we can do! It's over! It's not going to affect him anymore so you can calm down."

"I don't think you understand what he's saying Robin." Cyborg chimed in, projecting his voice from the back of the room. "You messed up. You poisoned Rae, which then poisoned Austin, which caused him to be born prematurely—and who knows what else—the last thing in the world we give a damn about is Red X."

Raven looked straight ahead, not up at Robin anymore, just…just straight ahead. She felt numbed because she had been pushed to her limits, it was just too much information for her to grasp and handle at the current moment.

"No, I understood him, Cy," Robin said. "But I was hoping you guys would know that I _did_ try to do everything I could afterwards. I made many, _many_, _many_ calls—"

"—_Oh_! _You made calls_! I didn't know that _part_! Well, then, you're excused good sir for making _calls_!" Garfield exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks and almost preparing to go one-on-one with Robin as he waved his hands around when speaking. "Well, then let's just _forgive and forget_! You made _calls_! How eighteenth century of you!—"

"—Nineteenth, B—" Cyborg corrected.

"—Whatever! I'm too tired to properly argue, but I'm too angry to fall asleep now!" He cried out before taking his two index fingers from both hands and massaging his forehead. "For the love of…._motherfucker_," He stopped massaging his head and looked up to Robin, as Garfield was beginning to put the pieces together. "You _knew_ while we were at your anniversary? Didn't you? Huh? You knew how concern we were and everything! And you just let us continue to worry? God _dammit_!"

Raven mentally muted their voices so she could listen to her inner silence once again. Austin fidgeted, and she looked down on him. Even though he hadn't been sleeping during this time and was just wrapped in a blanket in Raven's arms as she rocked him, all this loud noise was getting to him and he started to whimper. She stood up, not that anybody notice since they were all at each other's throats, and walked over to the other side of the room, trying to get away from everybody as much as possible without leaving the room. She still wanted to be in the room, wanted to hear all the details about this little 'intervention'. Austin slowly started to cry, but she kept on bouncing him in her arms, trying to get him to settle down.

"Azarath…Mentrion…Zintho…" She softly chanted to him. "Azarath…Mentrion…Zinthos…Azarath…Mentrion…Zinthos…" She leaned back on the wall and closed her eyes, as she continued to chant.

She had already broken down and emotional so many times during her pregnancy, all those sleepless nights, remembering the Trigon nightmares, coming to terms with the fact that Lydia was discovering her inner Rage, and the early delivery of Austin. She did not want to hear any more bad news, no more. Everything that she thought she had known was put into question as everybody continued to fight in the background.

She wanted to cry, but she was holding Austin and didn't want to risk it. So she kept swallowing her tears back, and sniffing her nose away, as if she just had an irritating allergy coming on. Why she did get married again? Why the fuck did she fall in love? Everything would just be all peachy, nice, and simple if she just continued to stay away from Garfield. Things would not be put into question. Friends would not stabbed each other in the back.

"Azarath…Mentrion…Zinthos…"

"_Please_, Beast Boy, talk reasonably. All this yelling is not helping." Starfire pleaded, now holding onto Robin's hand as a way for her to show forgiveness towards him, hoping that the others would follow.

"Oh, no, I'm going to _say and do_ whatever I want, because this is a new low! This is a low that I did not dream anyone one of us could do! And as my given right as a father, I am protecting my children from harm by saying and doing whatever I want!"

"You're not even making any sense anymore, B." Cyborg commented.

"I don't _have_ to make sense! Because _this_ doesn't make any sense!" Garfield said, pointing at Robin and looking at him through his narrow eyes. "Why would you do something like that?—what possessed you?—_you_ decided to play God because you thought we weren't good _enough_ to train our children to conquer the obstacles—as well as the rewards—to be being part Demonic? Now I know that _sounds_ absurd to anyone else, but Rae's blood is a gift as well as a curse and to deny that part of her is just to deny _her_—"

"—I understand that, but that's not what—"

"But _nothing_! This is Raven we're talking about; she's here, she's Demonic, _get used to it!_ This isn't _Wizard of Oz,_ there are no predetermined witches—good or bad—which you can dump your bucket of water on before _he's_ even born!—_We_ teach Lydia as much as we can about the safety of learning her powers without the restrictions Raven had to go through when she was young. _Now_ that type of training can mess a person up—"

"—_Exactly_, which is why I thought I was doing you guys a _favor_ by helping with the workload—"

"—_Secretly_ poisoning Rae and _not_ telling anyone is _not_ really a favor!"

Robin was becoming a little annoyed with Garfield's long ramblings. "—Okay, I admit it, I'm sorry! I've said it over a million times! _I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!—_"

"—It's not like Beetlejuice, _Robin_, saying it three times won't make it go away!"

"—But you have to see I _did_ mean well—"

"Friends, please _stop_." Starfire begged.

"—No! You _thought_ you meant well, but really this was some _sick_ game to play so you could have some control over _our_ lives! Like 'Operation', but just with actual humans!"

"—that's enough! Friends please! Can we not talk civilly?"

"—No, Star, I am past being the nice guy."

"_Quiet!_" A voice called out from across the room. Everybody looked over to Raven who was rocking Austin in the air with her black energy as she slowly walked over to the couch, with Austin not far behind her. She was still trying to sniff away her tears, but at least she got out of that trance she was in. "This-This arguing is ridiculous; it-it's two o'clock in the morning, I h-have been up three times already since ten w-with Garfield up three times as well, and although what Robin has confessed is hu-hurtful and questionable, I don't want to argue the ethics or-or reasons for it _r-right this moment_—"

"—But Rae—" Garfield pleaded.

"—w-we can discuss these things in the morning. R-Right now, it's too much to take in, and I mean _t-too much_." She said despairingly, looking into Garfield's eyes, hoping that he could see she was emotionally drained.

After a few seconds he sighed and nodded. She then used her black energy to gently placed Austin in Garfield's hands, trying to calm him down from the arguing. Garfield looked down at his wavy silver-purple hair boy and embraced him tightly as he began to rock him back and forth.

"In the morning." Garfield said, glaring up at Robin. And with that Raven teleported Garfield, Austin, and herself out of the room, not wanting to make that long walk back to their own room.

"That did not go as well as I thought." Starfire said, before sighing.

Cyborg crossed his arms and looked down at them. He said in a calm voice, "What did you think would happen? You genetically changed a person's abilities without their consent or knowledge. I think they are reacting just how a person would react if they woke up one day and found out that their body and abilities was noticeably altered. It's a shock to them. Maybe in time they will adapt, but right now they feel some _injustice _has been done to them for no real reason."

"But Cyborg, I—" Robin tried.

"Rae's right." He said calmly, putting a hand up. "Leave it for the morning. I'm heading out now."

"Cyborg?" Starfire asked. "I do not wish to argue, but do you think our friend's will in time learn to accept Robin's apology?"

"I hope so," He said. "I mean, _I_ myself had to learn how to forgive those who changed _me_ all those years ago."

He then said goodnight and walked out of the room.

SO I WILL SEE YA.


	47. A New Horizon

SORRY THIS TOOK A WHILE, I HAD A LOT OF PROBLEMS DECIDING HOW THESE EVENTS WOULD PLAY OUT, LOT OF EDITING WAS INVOLVED AND I JUST KEPT CHANGING MY MIND ON HOW CERTAIN THINGS WOULD HAPPEN OR NOT HAPPEN AT ALL. ANYWAY, ENJOY….

Garfield held Austin tightly just as Raven cast her black energy into the living room and disappeared from the others. As soon as Raven had teleported them back into to their room, she dragged Garfield and Austin in the bathroom with her black energy and promptly locked them in, leaving Garfield inside the bathroom. Garfield was at first stun by this turn of events, but tried to persuade her from the other side to open the door and let him out.

"Rae! Rae! Let us out!" He shouted, while banging on the door.

At first he thought she was just trying to hide her tears away from him, which was silly to begin with since he has seen her cry, but as his banging became louder, he slowly realized that she was not trying hide from them at all. No, she was _shielding_ them from _her_. When Garfield stopped the banging, he could hear nothing, but a small whispered, that quickly turned into a shouting match with herself.

Then the familiar sounds of destruction and turmoil plagued his ears. Sheets being ripped, books being thrown across the room, the walls being scratched up by who knows what, it sounded like from like fingernails, but could she scratched so hard with short nails? Possibly. The worst was probably hearing the baby crib—which was just finished a few weeks ago—being crushed into small pieces as it smacked against the wall.

Rage was in full swing.

It didn't take long for Garfield to realized it was Rage, and not due to any emotional outburst, but the smoking gun was the sound of her cruel, croaky, deep voice. The voice that was channeling Trigon, one of his few imprints he still had on this Earth. And on Raven.

Garfield sat down on the floor, still rocking Austin back and forth, as he tried to steady his breathing. It had been a while since his heart attack, but this was not helping his nerves. The only thing he could do was crouch in the small bathroom—hoping Rage didn't break down the door—as he comfort his son. He thought she had it all under control, not once did she seem like she was going to be a threat to Robin at all, hell, if anything, Garfield was the one doing more yelling than anyone else. But this was certainly not the time, nor the place, as the two just found out one of their dearest friends had done something terrible and had lied about it for who knows how many months. How could they heal together if Rage would just show up out of nowhere?

The only way to get rid of Rage was to either let her ride it out or calm her down by talking. However, he didn't know what to say, as he himself was on the verge of breakdown similar to Rae's, a few tears started to drown his eyes.

"Ra-Rae?" He tried to shout through his stuffed-up nose and dry mouth. At this point, Austin was wiggling around in his blanket, becoming irritated that he wasn't being rocked anymore, and he started to cry as well. "Great." Garfield whispered.

He transformed into a gorilla, feeling somewhat claustrophobic in this small bathroom, but he wanted to stay seated where he was in case the bathroom door did come unlocked somehow. He cradled his son with his furry, giant paws gently as he kept an eye on the door.

"_Agghhh! Thinks he's better than us?! Thinks he knows more than us?! What did he give me?! What was it? I demand to know!_" Rage's voice pierced through the walls. Another loud thud was heard from the bathroom, causing Garfield to hover his arm over Austin, protecting him from whatever might damage might leak through from the bedroom. "Azarath…Mentrion…..Zinthos…." Raven's normal voice started to cry out softly as she placed her hands on her head to stop this headache known as Rage from continuing. "Stop it, Rage! Get out of my head!"

Her eyes were constantly changing from normal to red, to normal, and then back to red. Rage took over and hovered in the air for a bit, trying to concentrate her anger on another object, before Raven took over again and landed on the floor. This caused her black energy to be released from her body and it ended up opening all the doors and drawers in her room, including the bathroom one. She noticed that it had opened.

Garfield could now see Raven limping on the floor from far away, as she tried to make her way to the bathroom to close the door again, trying to fight a possessive parasite that was living inside of her. He could see that she was struggling to maintain power over her body, her eyes were droopy from tiredness and he swore he didn't see those same eyes two hours ago. She tried using her black energy to close the door, but ended up aiming it at the shower, and a cold rush of water was felt by Garfield's fur.

"Gar—Garfield, run!" She warned him in her panted breath as she collapsed to the ground.

Her eyes then turned red and she slowly stood up. As she walked slowly towards him, Garfield, still in his gorilla form, used one hand to take a giant step forward, with his other arm cradling Austin. He then used both feet to kick Rage in the stomach and out of the bathroom. She went flying outside the door and hit her head on the edge of the bed's side, before her body bounced on the floor.

Garfield cautiously took another step forward, holding his son tighter as he looked down at the knocked out Rage. It was a drastic move to make, as he harmed Rae in the process, but it was the few occasions where it was necessary. At that moment, he came down with a case of déjà vu, remembering hitting Raven before when she was Rage, but at that time, he was his Beast. Although, it was many years ago, he felt sick to his stomach.

He transformed back to his usual self. The yellow crib was destroyed and the only other crib they had lying around was Bruce's, but that just wasn't an option that particularly sat well with Garfield. He slowly walked away from Raven to put his son on the other side of the bed. He took the sheets that were lying on the floor, aired it out a few times in case there were broken pieces of wood in it, and wrapped Austin in it before he set Austin down on the bed.

"Oh, _Rae_, pl-please forgive me." He whispered. "I'm s-so stupid."

He went back to the other side of the bed and looked down at Raven from a distance. Her hair was disheveled and her head was resting on the bed's side, with her eyes closed. He didn't bother to look around the room to see what damage she had caused; by this point, they—well Rae—knew how to mess their room and fixed it brand new by the next few days.

He was now feeling _really_ guilty for hurting Raven once again in Rage's form. It wasn't like Rage was a force that could be contained, if she could, she _would_ hurt Garfield. But still, he felt like an asshole to have made a vow long ago never to hurt her in Rage's form and then to just break that vow because he was trapped in a contain space.

"Garfield?" Raven's voice cried out as she rubbed her head. He jumped a bit and ran by her side. He stared down at her, hoping he wouldn't see her red eyes even though her voice was normal, Rage could have a few tricks up her sleeve for all he knew. He was relieved to find her violet eyes looking back. "I'm sorry. I-I don't know what happened, I thought that if we just left, that I could control her….but…I just…I just gave into the anger. Because I was. I _am_. I am just _so_ angry." She balled her hand into a fist.

He wanted to yell at her for leaving him alone to have to deal with a near nervous breakdown without her or to yell at her for hitting her, even though it wasn't Rae's fault. However, he knew he would just be releasing his own anger on her instead of the actual culprit; Robin. He grabbed her hand and kissed it, his eyes still red from crying earlier.

"F-for once Rae, I-I would have traded p-p-places with you. I want to-to throw and-and kick and scream as much as you wa-want too," He said, trying to calm his voice. "Bu-but we can't. And n-not just for the sake of our friends, b-but because of my-my health and your Rage. Are-are you alright?"

"I'm o-okay. But only ph-physically."

He frowned. "I'm s-sorry I kicked you. I-I should never have. B-but I didn't kno-know what else to do—"

"—Shh. It's okay. I-I'm not hurt. I know you d-didn't mean it. I-I _should_ have controlled her better. B-but I didn't."

He helped her up, as they both stood up and took a seat on either side of the bed. He over to where Austin was, who was whimpering and wiggling his body around in the blanket, wanting someone to hold him. "W-we need to figure out what exactly Robin gave him—well, gave _you_ technically…which, th-thinking now, did Robin even _say_ if-if the drug would affect you?"

"I-I wasn't really listening. All-all I heard was screaming." She said, lowering her head and looking down at the sheets.

Garfield looked over to where Austin laid, whimpering softly as he wiggled around in the sheets. "Do-do you think that's why he has my pointy ears?"

"Who knows? Probably. M-maybe. The bigger question is, will it continue to affect _him_?" She asked.

"Well, Robin says it-it shouldn't, but I-I don't know if he's the most trustworthy person to listen to right now." He said, looking back up. He saw her sad, vacant expression staring down at the bed. "Hey," He whispered, reaching his arm out on the bed, offering his hand. "It's going to-to be okay. W-we at least solved part of the puzzle, now we-we just have to figure out where to-to go from here."

"I know, I know."She looked up and slowly slid her right arm to his with their hands joining at the center of the bed. Their breathing became still for a moment, as they looked into each other eyes. "It-it's just that I should have _known_."

"Known?"

"I should have sensed it. Robin drugged _me_. I should have realized t-that something was wrong—"

"—Rae, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to _me_. Not again." He said softly. "It was not an easy pregnancy; we both know that, and with everything working against us, we didn't stand a chance. You did the best you could under such cruel circumstances."

Before she opened her mouth again, the little one on the bed with purple-silvery hair, started to cry. Garfield let go of her hand to pick up his son.

"His eyes are still a pretty deep blue; they haven't even changed in the slightest." He said as he rocked Austin back and forth. "I don't think this one will have my green eyes." He smiled.

Raven was flattered by his comment. "But he would look very handsome with green eyes."

"Really? Because he looks just perfect to me." He said before he held out Austin and handed him over to the blushing Raven.

She undid the top buttons of her white nightgown and allowed her right breast to be exposed. It took a while for Austin to get a grip, but once he did, Garfield could hear the suckling. Garfield looked at her longingly and was mesmerized. Even though she had just turned into Rage, which made him physically harm her, she had managed to compose herself and look as though there was some sort of special lighting that exposed her natural beauty. It probably was the moonlight from the window hitting all the right spots, and the way she smiled when she did breast feed or take pleasure in raising her children. Or the way she kept her hair short and as asymmetrical as possible.

Or maybe she did in fact look repulsive at the moment with her huge circles around her eyes and her frizzy hair, but he was just romanticizing a moment in which he could only see the beauty of the scene, and not focusing on the disgusting details.

"Look at you. Before, with Lydia, you were afraid to touch her, let alone breast feed her daily as you do with Austin. Because of some fear the Azarathians had about two Demons colliding together. But now, you disobey your mother, and the world hasn't ended at all!" He said, hoping she would show him more than just her one breast. He didn't know why he was feeling this after almost having a nervous breakdown with Rage in the room; maybe it was some weird form of foreplay that he unexpectedly enjoyed. He took a mental note to check into that later on, as he hoped that didn't mean something was wrong with him for being into that kind of thing. Possibly.

"I'm glad someone at least notices." She whispered.

"What do you mean? Of course I notice. We talk all the time if we should this or that—"

"—No, no, that's not what I meant, I wasn't making a snarky comment towards you. I was referring to Robin." She whispered. She wiped her eyes to hold back the few tears she had left; thankfully nothing seemed to move in the room, before she went on. "He didn't believe in us. He didn't believe I could control Austin. He insulted our upbringing with Lydia by taking away the powers that Austin could have had, and experienced it together with his elder sister. Now, he will feel like the black sheep of the family, and trust me, there is nothing worse in the world for a child then to feel like they don't belong with their family. It can damage a young person's mind."

"I know, Rae. I'm sure you have firsthand experience with that. And for a while, I did too during those blank years without my parents and before I joined the Doom Patrol."

"What can we do? I'm not just talking about checking up on Austin, but our relationship with Robin has drastically changed. How can we ever face him? I don't know if I can ever trust him again." She asked.

"Me neither." He agreed. Garfield stood up and walked over to the end of the bed, pondering over the decision that now lay ahead of them.

Both of them knew what they were suggesting off-hand without even saying the words, but it wasn't as easy as it first appeared to them. Robin had been their leader, their solid rock for many years, more than decade had passed by with him making the major decisions that affected everyone in the Tower. Garfield began to pace back and forth, trying to come up with the pro's and con's of Robin stepping down as a leader.

"Can we even follow anyone else's orders? We're just so used to Robin." He said. Raven looked up to him, stunned and afraid at first to suggest such a thing, but now that Garfield had finally said it out in the open, she was relieved that it was at least mentioned. A change is always hard to adapt too, even if it is for the better.

"Yes, we can." She finally said. "It's just that Robin knows us so well. Our strengths, our weaknesses, what are the best moves we can all do together as a team. It's easy to want to stay with that routine. True, our relationship with him has changed, but we can't just throw away all those other years of loyalty to us."

"Uh, we can if we have a good reason too." He said before groaning. "Does he need to continue to be our leader just because we are used to him being our leader?"

"I honestly don't know." She asked, with him glancing back. She looked at him with solemn eyes. "I'm sorry about what happened earlier, I truly am, I-I just was not expecting Rage to make an appearance tonight and wasn't prepared for _that_ kind of news. But please, _please_, we can be civil about this. Let's not say anything else that we might regret later. Let's drop it for tonight. We're both exhausted."

He walked over to his side of the bed and tried to gather as much sheets he had found laying on the floor next to him to sleep in. As soon as he found enough for both him and Rae, he carefully spread the covers out so it would lie across the bed. He then carefully crawled into his side, all while she was switching breasts for Austin. He put a hand under his head as he watched her.

"You're right, now is not the time to discuss things." He said. "In the morning."

"The morning." She said, looking down at him.

* * *

After many, many years with all of the Titans having the same plain old uniform, Raven was the first to alter her old leotard design with the standard long sleeves with attaching finger pieces, to a leotard with standard long sleeves with attaching finger pieces _and_ skin tight pants. She was becoming a little self conscious about her hips and legs, as any aging woman would, and while Garfield was against the covering up of her luscious legs, he too understood her reasons. Magazine pictures, little comments she would hear now and again from particular men on the streets, especially men who just moved to Jump City, and Lydia, pointing out bruises on her mother's leg, all had forced Raven to cover up.

Cyborg, Starfire, and the Logan's were all having silent breakfast. Actually, it was more like lunch, since it was much later then when they usually get up. It was good thing there wasn't any crime this morning. Everyone, besides Garfield, was in uniform, as it was supposed to be Raven's day back, and after what happened last night, it was crucial that she returned to the front lines immediately to take her energy out on criminals. She was almost ready to just go to the main surveillance monitors and find the criminals herself. She didn't need to sit here and wait for the inevitable scene she knew would happen; _he'll_ come walking in, saying sorry, asking for forgiveness, with a few words on how he'll never do something like that again, possibly throw in a few words on how being a father himself has made him realized how horrid his actions were, and then he'll try to distract the team by giving them a mission to do.

Of course, he could just come in and say he's sorry, but that he does not regret his actions at all because he _believed_ he did the right thing. And there was the possibly he wouldn't come in at all. Raven would be just fine with that choice. She was able to hide her Rage from Robin last night, but she wasn't quite sure if she could hold it in again. Thankfully, she got at least six hours of sleep, with Garfield staying in the living room that night to care for Austin while she slept.

She grabbed her cup of tea and levitated over to the living room, where Lydia was eating her breakfast in front of the TV. Garfield was busy feeding Austin to notice she had left the table. Maybe he too was trying to come up with ways how he would be civil to Robin today. The silence was too much; Raven had to be around positive energy if she was going to make it through the day.

"Mama, I don't like the pants." Lydia confessed when she saw her mother sitting down. Lydia had on a blue t-shirt with a yellow pleated skirt, but her hair wasn't brushed yet, so the wild dark locks were curling and falling off her head freely without a hair band to contain it. Lydia dipped her spoon few of cereal in her mouth. "I's liked it before, when it was a swimming suit."

"Don't talk while you're eating, nobody can understand what you're saying." Raven said, as she pressed Lydia's lips together with her forefinger and thumb. "Now chew." Lydia obeyed, chewing her food and then swallowing. Raven released her lips. "Alright, now tell me again." She knew exactly what Lydia had said, but it was always better to teach Lydia first and let her humor Raven then it was to just state out rules to her daughter.

"I had saids that I liked it before when you had a swimming suit on. You looked like swimming suit model. Or you looked like a ballerina before you put your tutu on."

"Well, you're just not used to it, change takes time. Mother's can't always be in swimsuits for their job."

"But you have always wore the swim suit!"

"But these pants are a shield. You know what a shield is? It is a kind of personal armor against attacks."

"Armor? Like in the show about dragons and princess and having men fighting those dragons with their swords!?" Lydia squealed, jumping up from her seat. Raven tilted her eyebrow, raising a finger to Lydia. "Oh, right. I forgot." She sat down and closed her eyes, her excitement instantly vanished. "Lions, Africa, flowers. Lions, Africa, flowers. Lions—"

"Lydia," Her mother interrupted, believing that Lydia's powers weren't really released. "This show you watch about dragons, the men fight dragons, but what do the princesses do?" Raven inquired.

Lydia bit her lip. "Um, they go to parties and have pretty dresses with crowns and they are friends with each other, sometimes they get kidnapped by the bad guys—or worse—the dragons themselves and—"

"Do the princesses fight the dragons?"

"No." Raven took note.

"Do the princesses _rule_ their kingdom?"

"No, Mama," Lydia giggled. "They're princesses, they're not _queens_."

Raven slowly sipped her warm tea just as Lydia put a spoonful of cereal in her mouth, with the milk spilling all over her chin. "Do you _wish_ that the princesses would fight the dragons?"

"Hmmm, wh-sometimes."

"Swallow please before answering." Lydia rolled her eyes before swallowing her food.

"I said sometimes."

"Do _you_ wish to be one of those princesses?"

"Oh yes! I would love it!"

"But, if you were a princess, would you let a knight in shining armor fight the dragons, or would you like to fight the dragons yourself?"

"I don't want to hurt the dragons, they're pretty." Lydia said.

"But what if they were mean, ugly dragons?"

"Then I would fight them! In my pretty dress too!"

Okay, so maybe it _wasn't_ the worst show on television if Lydia still dreamed of a princess saving the day. Raven was relieved, too much cartoons with princesses for a little one could make one sick with the 'when will my prince charming come rescue me?' syndrome. Just because Lydia had found out about Trigon and found her Rage didn't mean that Lydia should mourn over something that happened so long ago and give up hope to controlling her powers. This was something both Raven and Garfield were afraid of would happened if she found out. But if anything, hearing about Trigon should encourage Lydia to channel her anger and control her emotions.

Raven had once again considered taking Lydia to Azarath ever since her Rage started to form, and once again, Garfield was against it. But then Austin's illness was found out, the anniversary party happened, and everything else related to Lydia seemed to be swept under the rug, to be picked up for another day. Life just got in the way.

Well, considering what happened _last_ night, maybe it was best that today was the day to pick up that broom, and finally clean up.

Raven put down her tea and sat down on the floor with her daughter. "Lydia, how would you like it if you went to school with other kids? Kids that are just like you, that have powers, but they have different powers then yours."

"School? You mean not here? _Away_ from home?" She asked, looking down, a little a taken back by the question.

"Well, don't think of it as going away from home for a day, think of it as going to a new place where there are many kids, just like you, who want to show off their powers. As well as control them, too. And teachers who can teach around with your special needs." Raven said, tilting her head so that she could try to get Lydia to look up, but she wouldn't. She was just silent and staring down. "Lydia," Raven whispered, holding out her hand, but Lydia wouldn't take it, so Raven let it dangled out in the air. "Every child has to go through this journey sometime in their life. Every child has to eventually go to school and leave home for the day. Parents can't teach their kids at home _forever_. Unless they're home schooled, but I think we have home schooled you enough. I think you're ready to go to school with other kids."

"_Why_?" She asked with a forced.

Raven then thought that this probably wasn't the best time and she regretted even bringing it up, but she couldn't stop now. "Because, Lydia—"

"—I don't try to be bad, I just am, Mama! I don't try to make trouble, but when I'm sad, I can't hide my tears! And then stuff explodes!" Lydia screamed out, as tears began to pour down from both eyes. "I'm not a bad girl, Mama, I'm not! Why don't you believe me?!"

That line pierce through Raven's heart and she looked at her daughter, wide-eyed. "Lydia, I don't—"

"—Liar!" Raven saw for a few seconds her daughter's eyes flashing into a red diamond-shaped before returning back to their normal green self. But it kept on flashing.

As Raven continued to look at her daughter, forgetting herself for a moment that she was the parent and that her child was not Trigon, the mug that was sitting behind Raven was shattered and the tiny ceramic bits strike against Raven's head. This force her to cover her head and duck on the ground.

At this point, all of the Titans in the kitchen could hear Lydia's little temper tantrum and they could not ignored it for much longer. Garfield handed Austin to Cyborg, before he sprinted out of his chair and ran to his two girls.

"Lydia, Raven, what's—" Was all he could asked before he saw Raven kneeling on the floor, bleeding in a few places from the head. He didn't know what was going on, he didn't know what exactly happened, but out of nowhere he found this sort of inner voice he thought he would never used and before he knew it he—"_Lydia, you knocked this off right now before I give you two good spankings from the roof! Once for yourself and the other for you Rage!_" He screamed at his six-year old.

Although, yelling doesn't normally calm down any kind of beast, Lydia was still a girl with an undying love for her father and through the yelling was she able to regain her focus and control her Rage. She looked down and was terrified that she saw her mother in front of her with Raven's hands on her head, kneeling down, as if she was ducking for cover, bleeding from the head.

"Oh! Oh! Oh, _Daddy_!" Lydia screamed out, with the kitchen sink turning on and off over and over. Garfield let go of his voice, but his own anger was still inside of him, horrified that Lydia could do such a thing. He didn't exactly see what had happened, but he knew from looking at the scene. Garfield held out his arms as Lydia ran to him. "I-I-I-I-I didn't—I mean, I-I-I didn't w-w-want—"

"It's okay, Lydia." He said as calmly as he could. His cheeks were still red from yelling so hard. "I know you didn't mean it. Go to your room, meditate for a bit, play with your Barbies, just relaxed, but most importantly, meditate. And we'll come in after lunch."

"Is-is-is-is-is M-m-mama going to be-be-be okay?"

"What? From this? Mama get's worst beatings from the criminals she fights. She's not hurt, she can heal herself." He said, as he rubbed her back. "_However_, she's not supposed to get a beating from her own family, that's why she's on the ground. She can't fight back from you. You're our little girl, not a criminal."

"Oh, D-d-daddy!" She cried out as her tears slid off her face and was wiping her nose on his shirt. She put her thumb in her mouth for comfort. Garfield picked Lydia up and began to make the journey to her room.

* * *

When Garfield returned, he was surprised and relieved to see Raven sitting at the kitchen counter and drinking her tea. Yes, yes, he did tell Lydia that getting hit in the head with sharp ceramic bits was nothing compare to what Raven faced daily from criminals, but it was a bit of an exaggerated truth. Actual blunt force was easy to dodge or heal fast, but any small fragments that pierce through her skin took a little longer to heal, due to the fact that typically the sharp fragment would still be _inside_ her, and she needed to take it out before healing, which took some time.

"Thank Azarath you're okay!" Garfield exclaimed when he saw her sitting there quietly.

"When have you ever said that?"

"What? I want to try and control my cursing, especially with _two_ kids now. Azarath is just an easy word to replace it with." He said, glad that she had the energy to joke. "So, you're _really_ alright?"

"Well, I wasn't expecting anything less from her first reaction to the Justice League Private School for the Gifted. But I just wasn't expecting _that_."

"I'm sorry you come from a family of abusers—"

"—I already told you, kicking me last night was not a big deal, it was Rage—"

"—But it _is_ a big deal. A big deal to me." He said as he took a seat next to her. "I stopped Lydia's Rage just through words. I should have done that last night, not to react the way I reacted."

She took a sip before putting her mug down. "You were protecting our child, who knows what Rage would have done. You had a second to think on your feet and you did. Austin could have been hurt by Rage, I really was tried hard to fight back, but I got wrapped up in my own anger."

"So, you forgive me? Because I am making a new vow right now that I will never—"

"—That's not necessary. Don't make vows that you'll regret later. But I appreciate the thought." She said as he flashed a smile at her.

"So, Lydia didn't like the idea of the Justice League school?" A voice called out from the behind them. The Logan's turned around to see Robin, leaning up against the wall right by the doorway to the hall.

Raven narrowed her eyes when she saw that it was Robin. "Every child has problems with adapting to a new school system." Her hand tightened around her mug.

"But she will attend a regular school this year?"

"Yes, we told you we would take care of it and we are." Garfield stated, turning his face around to look down at the beige design of the kitchen counter.

Raven turned around as well, looked down her tea, and began to chant her mantra in a soft whisper. Robin sighed before he stood up properly and made his way over to the kitchen, to stand in front of them.

"I get it. You guys are angry. And…probably will be angry for quite a while…I understand." He said rather slowly, trying to come up with the words. He should have practiced this more, but he had only less than nine hours to come up with a practical apology. Neither Rae now Garfield was looking up at him. Robin rested his hands on the counter. "I have been doing some thinking…and I have a feeling nobody is going to like my presence in this house for a while."

Both Raven and Garfield's ears perked up when they heard the word 'presence' and looked up to him.

"You're leaving?" Raven asked.

"I'm going to take some time off, do some soul searching, find my old master, and just try to figure out how to make it up to you guys. Take some time off from crime fighting."

"You? Take a vacation? Like that would happen." Garfield laughed. Robin continued to stare at him as Garfield's smile faded. "You're serious? But, but what do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going?"

"I don't know yet—"

"—What about Star and Bruce?—"

"—it will only be for a few months—"

"—then we'll be down a person—"

"—the East Titans are more than happy to help—"

"—But why are you going? What do you think will _happen_ in a few months?" Garfield more or less demanded on the last question rather then asked. He was becoming slightly irritated that their leader would just drop two bombs on them in less than twenty-four hours. "Do you think all will be forgiven? That everything will be just _peachy_?"

"_No_," Robin almost shouted out. "No. This time off is more for myself. I can't expect you guys to understand, but at least try. Raven, like you, this is one of those few times that I just need to be alone and think things through."

Raven acknowledge his comment as it was addressed to her, but she didn't say anything. Only staring at him, with her eyes squinting harder then more she looked at him.

"How long?" She finally asked.

"I don't know until I start." He said, folding his arms.

"Who's in charge while you're gone?" She asked.

"Cyborg. I've already told him, but just said to keep it quiet for right now until I told you guys." He said.

"When are you leaving?"

"In two hours." He said. There was a long pause between, as nobody wanted to say anything more, didn't want to apologize because both parties felt that they were in the right.

* * *

When it was time for Robin to step on his motorcycle to travel the world, almost taking the small jet as well, and only Starfire and Lydia were the ones who seemed really sad that Robin was leaving. It wasn't that the others weren't feeling sad either, but that they had so many mixed emotions about the situation, they didn't know what to do with it. On the one hand, Robin's presence in the Tower seemed a little unwelcome, but on the other hand, they didn't want to drive him out of the Tower. Robin stepped on his jet, started the engine and almost in a cinematic effect, flew away with the wind on Starfire's hair swirling around in the wind with a toddler on her arms.

And so began Robin's little journey, while he had made a mess, the Logan's were trying to put the pieces back together.

TRY TO UPDATE AS FAST AS I CAN…..


	48. The Will of Richard John Grayson

WOW, IT'S BEEN SO LONG GUYS. REMEMBER HOW I SAID 'UPDATE SOON' AND IT'S BEEN LIKE FOREVER? WELL, ISN'T IT CRAZY THAT THERE WAS A GIANT MONSTER DESTROYING THE ELECTRICITY COMPANY IN CALIFORNIA, THUS MAKING IT HARD FOR ME TO ACCESS A COMPUTER FOR A MONTH? NO, NO, YOU DON'T BUY THAT. WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT GIANT RIOT BREAKING OUT WHEN TEEN TITANS GO! WAS ON BECAUSE FANS WERE RAGING, AND WAS JUST TOO NEWSWORTHY TO FOCUS ON ANYTHING ELSE? NO, NO, YOU DON'T BUY THAT EITHER. OKAY, REAL BORING TRUTH IS THAT WRITING AN ENDING IS HARD, AND WRITING CHAPTERS PRIOR TO THE ENDING IS HARDER WHEN YOU DON'T THE ENDING YET. I WISH IT WAS A BETTER EXCUSE, BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS. ALSO, GOT CAUGHT UP WITH GAME OF THRONES AND ONCE UPON A TIME.

When Raven and Garfield had first walked back to their room after Robin took off, they noticed a small white envelope taped to their door with the word 'Sorry' printed in red ink on the front. Knowing that it was from Robin, they tucked it away in Garfield's pockets, hoping to read it after the day was over.

When the night came, and everyone, but the two of them was tucked in bed, Garfield carefully ripped open the envelope and took out the five pages that were hand-written.

'_By now, I am probably off, making my way to Gothham City to get some answers from an old friend, and you probably think I am writing to reiterate my reasoning why I did what I did. But I'm not. I know I fucked up, and that's a word I don't use a lot, but I did. I fucked up. So, I'm not writing to rehash what you already know, but I realized while I was packing that I did not tell you exactly how I gave Raven the drug or what exactly the drug is itself. I figured you reading this is better than me telling you, because we would only get into an argument._

_It all had started when you guys told me the news about your pregnancy. Before I could even soak in the news, you also let me know that Star was unhappy about me being in the city so much. We fought. I screamed at her. She threw my communicator in the ocean. And then we made up. You don't need to know the details, but what I should mention is that after the next few days, I started to worry about Raven's pregnancy, but by then it was too late to say that I did not approved. Yes, I know, nothing really happened when Lydia was born. I predicted destruction, but instead it was just my happy-go-lucky niece who was born. I _wanted_ to be happy. I really tried to be happy for you two, honest. _

_But I wasn't. And I have already explained to you why, I just think Lydia could do so much more if she wasn't restricted to hiding her emotions. She seemed to be born with a disability even though you view it as a gift. With that thought, I had heard from other criminals who had some old connections with Red X, that he was working on some sort of project that could take ones powers away. At first I shrugged off the notion, believing that whatever he had in mind wasn't meant to keep one alive. But then I tracked him down and hack into his main computer. It took me awhile to read it all, but once I had finished it, I was impressed, to say the least. He _wanted_ to keep them alive. He didn't want to harm anyone. I think he was going to sell it to some rebels over to different countries who were being oppressed, a way to end a civil war quietly because the other sides were using chemicals to pump up their bodies, which is why I could look past Red X and who he was. The answers I had been looking for were right there in front of me! To cure a child of a Demonic curse! Now, I accept Raven for who she is, but that doesn't mean I accept the fates she gives to you children, for I don't believe a child should be raised with such a burden. _

_I finally confronted Red X about it and asked him more on the subject. He, of course, wasn't really interested in doing business with me, but when I had offered to pay him, he started to change his tune. I watched countless experiments where animals were given some sort of power through selected DNA slicing, and then the powers just vanished after a few drops of the chemical and a few days._

_I know it sounds like I was messing around with a former criminal, doing test experiments as if I was Doctor Frankenstein, but trust me, I hated every moment of it. Anytime Red X asked me what it was for, I was hesitant to even say in my head that it was Austin. Because I believed with all my might that _this_ was the only way to protect the new baby from harm—from his own Demonic burden._

_But I _did_ buy the chemical. It was a special order, a very small dosage, not enough to take an adult's power away, but enough to impact the fetus. I slipped it into Raven's tea one day when she wasn't looking, about a month and a half after I had heard the news. She didn't notice because it was odorless, tasteless, and colorless._

_The chemical in question is called 'Samsonheno', or S.H. for short, which derives from the Biblical story of Samson losing his super-human strength after his femme fatale lover cuts his hair, and 'heno' is a Greek word meaning 'lose'. Red X sent me a list of possible side effects, but after witnessing Raven still healthy for a long time, I thought that the list didn't apply to her. After all, she has handled worse. However, due to the circumstances of Austin being born early, Red X has given me another list, a longer one this time._

_I don't know how long I will be gone. Give Star all my love, even if you don't want too. Remember, she knew nothing about this, it was all me, so please, for her own sake, help her through this difficult time._

_With Regards__, Your Friend, Robin.'_

The Logan's read the letter over and over again, until they could not take it anymore. They did not understand how he could write down in one paragraph that he truly did not mean any ill will toward Austin, and yet in the next paragraph explain how he secretly drugged Raven without showing any sort of remorse over the vicious act. He even had space to write down the reasoning behind the goddamn name of the drug! He could have written down more about his actions or at least write down 'sorry' just one more time. Even though he had seen experiments and read a few books on the chemistry behind the drug without any actual real life cases to back up the drugs claim, he had still gone through with it. He just _decided_ to give a small dosage to Raven without thinking of her safety. This was so unlike Robin to do, to put his friends in jeopardy and be in cahoots with Red X just because he believed Austin would have a better life. On the back of the last page was the long list of side effects.

" 'Mood changes, a temporary loss of powers before the subject would recover and then there's a _complete_ loss of powers, may cause rise in heart rate,' " Garfield was reading off for the fourth time while Raven slowly rocked Austin back and forth on their bed, stroking his light lavender locks while he rested his head on his mother's shoulder, with his eyes surveying the room.

It was at the end of the day, and both of them were about ready for bed, Raven in her purple nightgown and Garfield in his sweats. This letter had been sitting in their room for two days now, and the best they could do was just to keep rereading it, as if some kind of revelation would reveal itself among the words. The letter that Robin had written was supposed to ease some tension between them, but it only made things worse.

"Yada yada….more rise in heart rate, some mild depression….uh huh…..uh huh….and then it gets to that _one_….that _one_ fucking sentence, '_may_ cause lack of sleep or the subject _may_ have active nightmares _which is the result from a certain chemical in the drug_'!" He shouted, throwing the letter on the floor, frustrated that Robin wasn't standing in front of him to yell at, otherwise Garfield would have had some choice words for him. Garfield then rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, trying to adjust to the information at hand. "This explains everything! It just _wasn't_ the stress of the pregnancy that had caused you to dream about Trigon again, it was something in that goddamn drug!"

"My tea. He put it in my tea when I wasn't looking." She whispered to herself, as she looked down at Austin's slight silvery hair. "And two days later, I started to dream about Trigon. I remember. I remember it now. I remember because I thought something was odd about my tea, and when I felt a little sick that afternoon, I just blamed it on the pregnancy. But who knows. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but the nightmares…_oh,_ _the nightmares_."

"Robin will pay for what he has done to you!" Garfield proclaimed. "For what he has done to _all_ of us! _What_—_What_ can we do? And how can we make it _hurt_?"

"Nothing." She whispered softly.

"What?" He asked, looking back to her.

"I said 'nothing'. We _can't_ do anything other than to stay away from him for a while."

He was infuriated to hear Raven giving up on their little revenge plan. "What are you saying!? He—"

"—I know! _I know, Garfield_! But—but remember, he _is_ Starfire's husband, the father of Bruce, and at one time, he _was_ our friend. You say what can we do? I say, whatever it is, it will only ruin what we have with Starfire and Bruce. Robin's not here anymore, so for now, let us be content with that."

He wanted to start yelling at her, for not understanding how much damage Robin had done to their family. However, before he had a chance to open his mouth, he saw both their nightstands on either side of the bed, become covered in that familiar black energy and slowly lifting off the floor. The candles around their room were at that moment extinguish, and little Austin was lifted up in the air by Raven's hands. He laughed at her stoic expression and she wrapped him back in her arms, before rocking him back and forth. Meanwhile, the nightstands floating in the air were quickly joined by the Logan's dirty laundry, which was left on the floor.

Garfield came to the conclusion that she was indeed irate about Robin's actions and that probably she would like to have a little revenge too, _but_ with that said, she was still Raven. She was still dealing with a series of mixed emotions that she could not possibly express too much.

Betrayal.

It was something they both had felt before, from both their former crushes and from Robin himself when he had pretended to be Red X. But at least at the end of it, there was a good reason why he had betrayed the teams trust, he just wanted to get rid of Slade at all cost. Malchior and Terra, however, well they had their own agenda's to go on, and it wasn't for the greater good. And that's probably what made it hurt so much, that Robin _believed_ it was for the greater good, but the way he went about doing the deed had left huge repercussions that made it felt like, at least to Raven and Garfield, that it was inflicted _by_ Malchior and/or Terra.

"I could have gone my whole life without having that dream again about Trigon." Raven muttered under her breath after they had sulk for a while in their room. Garfield could see that she was trying to fight back tears, trying her best to stay in her monotone voice, hoping that Austin would calm her nerves. "We conceived Austin the day I felt free from Trigon's presence, it felt…it felt like the day when I first fell in love with you _and_ accepted it."

"I know." He said softly as he walked over to her and sat next to her.

"And the times that I would wake up and feel like I was a little girl, because of some _dream_, when I am a grown woman and should understand that dreams and reality are two separate realms of life."

"Raven, anybody with your type of past would surely be scared of such dreams—"

"—But apparently Robin never bothered to see if I did. If I had 'active nightmares'." Garfield took his hand and rubbed her back as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She looked down at Austin as she considered the question they both were wondering; could Robin ever be trusted again? "Why would he put me back in that situation?"

"He didn't know, but it still doesn't make it right."

"Do not mistake me, Garfield, I _do_ want revenge. My mind is spinning with ideas and ways to really hurt him," She looked up to him. "But, the things I have in mind will only satisfy Rage, not myself. And I _never_ want to satisfy Rage. I remember the last time I _try_ to satisfy my Rage only because I really wanted to _hurt_ _her_."

"Terra." He said, confirming with her on who she was talking about. She nodded.

"I felt nauseous afterwards, not because I lost, but because I had used one of Trigon's curses he left on me to try and get _revenge_…my motivations were different than the rest of the teams. I wasn't going to reason with her or only battle her just to try and save the good people of Jump City. No, for me, it was just pure revenge. Something that—that _Trigon_ would have done." Her voice began to break as her cheeks colored from her bottled up anger. "I-I felt like a-a _monster_ after a while, kn-knowing that…_I_ could be _sway_ so ea-easily to the dark side just because I was so mad at _her_—"

"—Rae, it's not time to relive the past." He said, taking Austin from her hands and holding him up so she could see his face light up when he saw both his parents sitting there. He smiled as he looked back and forth from both parent, amazed at the little sudden movements their faces made.

"Y-you're right." She said, trying to control the last remaining amount of sorrow she had in her heart, for the sake of Garfield and Austin, but it was hard.

"You're not your father, Rae. And revenge is a human trait _too_, it is not exclusive to Demons from another realm. But you're right. Anything we do to Robin to try and hurt him won't matter, because Austin is here and healthy, powers or no powers. And you're not having that dream anymore, are you?"

"No. But that doesn't mean it hurts any less."

"I know. Only time can heal those wounds."

* * *

A day later, the Logan family visited Arella in Azarath. After one look at Austin, Arella was almost satisfied that the child did not bear the powers of Trigon. Raven could sense this happiness her mother was feeling, _as if_ her mother would side with Robin in such a situation. However, it wasn't until after hearing the tale of how Austin's life, and Raven's health, was put at risked that Arella remembered the old saying on Earth, 'you can't have your cake and eat it too'. She did not realized that wishes had prices too, but she did not apologized for being happy that Austin was without powers, which wasn't said, but both Garfield and Raven could hear the tone in her voice as she gave them her blessings for the new baby.

Arella bear the news as usual, in a calm manner that always irritated Raven when she was growing up, but what more could Raven expected? She was a child that was never supposed to come into existed, and here she was parading her extending family around to her mother, an extended family that bear the mark of Trigon too.

Arella was still interested in Lydia, asking her daughter many questions about how she is adapting, but Raven decided to edit a few stories as to not give Arella the idea that Lydia was uncontrollable. No, that would make her mother right and one of those, 'I told you so, my child', and Raven couldn't have that now, could she?

When the Logan's arrived home, Raven knew in her heart that she didn't want to visit her mother again for a very long time, if ever at all. Her mother loved Austin more than Lydia, because Lydia was too much like Raven, too much of a reflection, and so Arella loved the one child that did not have powers or the complications of a Demonic life. She loved the one that was the most _human_. Raven was furious that Arella couldn't accept that she has Trigon's powers, but she uses it for good in her world. No, Trigon _only_ brings evil and his children will _never_ disobey him. It was like Robin was there to defend himself all over again, without actually _being_ there.

Raven didn't argue with Garfield, she simply said that she didn't when she will ever see her mother again, and even though he wasn't too thrilled to hear that, he wasn't going to force her to anything. He would have given anything in the world to see his own parents again and so he was a little hesitant to allow Rae to let her mother go, but he had to remembered that his loving parents were different then Rae's. It wasn't announced to her children that they couldn't see their grandmother anymore. If in time, when they asked, she could teach them how to open the portal from her realm to Azarath's, but for now, she rather take a long vacation.

* * *

A few months went by after Robin had departed from the Tower.

Starfire was keeping contact with him every moment that she could, calling him around seven times a day. Sometimes she just wanted to ask a question relating to Bruce and sometimes she just wanted to talk. She didn't always know where he was or what he was doing, and it made her a little uneasy, staying up at night with questions dangling in her head with the 'what if's'.

She did not want Robin to go away; she didn't even understand why he had to be away for so long. If it was a few weeks, then it would be okay, but to be gone for a least a few months, or possibly a year, was just too much to comprehend. Every day, Star would wake up, take care of Bruce, and would be in a defeated state for the rest of the day. Sometimes she would smile or laugh at something, but it didn't take her mind off of Robin.

Bruce was getting old enough to realize that something was missing in his life. Where was that tall man with a mask on that would come to comfort him when he was crying? Whenever Starfire had the chance to stay home, she would tell many tales about Robin to little Bruce, hoping that Bruce would remember that he does indeed have a father. Robin had gone on long missions alone before, but it had been years the last time he went on one, and certainly not when Bruce was around. She just hoped that whatever Robin was searching for, he would find the answers soon.

Cyborg had to take on more responsibilities than usual; it wasn't as though he hadn't told his teammates what to do before, but now with the temporary position as leader, he had to do just a little more paperwork and be more attentive to the security monitors. And he _so_ wanted to play that new video game that just came out, Lifezap Eternal. But every day, there was always _something_ more he had to get done before he would clock out for the night, and by the time he would want to go out clubbing or to try and play his new game, he would be too exhausted and end up going to bed instead. Hopefully, he could avoid spoilers on the Internet as much as possible. Although he had all this extra work to do, he did feel a little relieved that World War III _wasn't_ going to happen in the Tower anytime soon with Robin gone. For once, in a long time, Cyborg felt at peace.

Anytime Raven left the Tower to fight criminals on the streets of Jump City, Garfield would be at home, trying to help a six-year old get ready for public—well, technically private—school, while taking care of a six-month old, whom was getting stronger every day. Raven at first felt like she was abandoning Austin in his time of need, but Garfield kept insisting that it was better for her to go out and fight crime, that way she could use all of her hateful emotions on the criminals, than to have her emotions get all bottled up.

In this time of struggle, Garfield thought that he would just lose Rae, because he had seen too many movies to know that couples tend to have their relationship tested to the brink when there's a sick child to worry about. Although, Austin wasn't sick anymore, Garfield still had this small doubt in the back of his mind, that _this_ was truly enough for her. That if she could, she _would_ rewind the past to make it so that neither of them got together.

Complicating her already emotionless life with marriage and kids…but then he became surprised at times when she wanted to cuddle at night, even though _he_ was the cuddlier. Or when she would buy him books about romances, something that _he_ liked to read about, instead of her boring history or classical literature selections. Or when sometimes she would _offer_ to make breakfast before Cyborg would pry in and talk her out of it, because she couldn't cook a scrambled egg to save her life.

It was strange, usually at this point, Garfield expected a moody Raven to always be locked up in her room, meditating for her own sake as well as for others. It wasn't like he imagined her depression stages, just a few months or so ago, when they were both in the middle of another crisis. She had even brought up the word _divorce_, because she believed Garfield and her would start hating each other over a broken child.

But now, now she was doing things Garfield had suggested in the past or she was whole-hearting disregarding any advice that people in her past had given her. Well, just mainly the people who gave her any _negative_ outlook to her living. It was weird, but at the same time, comforting.

* * *

One night, when Cyborg and Starfire were both perfectly absent from the Tower, the Logan family decided to watch a movie together after a long day prepping Lydia for the Justice League Private School for the Gifted. For some reason, they ended up watching _The Little Mermaid_, not that there was anything wrong with _the Little Mermaid,_ Raven could tolerate Ariel because she wasn't all that bad of a princess. No, what really bothered Garfield and Raven was the negative portrayal of Ursula, the 'sea-witch', as they were afraid it would only make Lydia believed herself a villain in a child's cartoon. And yet, somehow it was sitting in the DVD player and Lydia had already pressed play before either parent could stop her, so it was either just watch the movie or her having a meltdown, and she was already in a sour mood about having to go to private school.

She didn't want to leave the Tower during the day, she would miss her parents, little Bruce, and most importantly her baby brother. Babies grow up fast, so she had to savor all the cute moments with him before he would start to talk and realized that she was a girl, and conclude that girls are yucky. At least, that's what she had witness on multiple television shows showing brothers having a distain for sisters because they are girls and girls are into different things then boys. She had her time with Bruce and now it was Austin's turn. If she would leave him alone now, Austin would develop a relationship with Bruce and both of them would probably turn on her, because she doesn't a have a female companion to help her out in the gender war.

She was crawling around on the floor while watching the movie as she was chasing Austin who was 'playing' with her. She would wave a toy that he would like in his face and throw, just to see him fetch, and he would crawl after it, occasionally giggling.

"I thought you wanted to watch this movie?" Raven asked her daughter as she was witnessing her children act like Garfield during his teen years as an animal.

"Rae, relax. Let them have fun. Besides, if she is distracted, she won't get to see the dark magic." Garfield said, reclining more into the couch.

She rested her head on his shoulder and put her feet up on the couch. "Did Starfire tell you yet? That Robin's been trying to contact us on the communicator."

"Yes." He confessed.

"Have…have you talked to him?" She hesitantly asked in a low voice.

"No, otherwise I would have told you." He said, looking down at the top of her head, her purple locks, that was sitting on his shoulder. "Have you?"

"No. I just….I just wanted to see if you have." Her heart began to beat a little faster afraid to look up.

"Well….do you _want_ to talk to him? You can, if you want too, Rae, I won't hold it against you, but it's that _I'm_ just not ready to forgive him." He said. She was relieved.

"No, I'm not ready to forgive him either, but I wasn't sure if you were yet. These last few months have been…therapeutic, as if the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders."

"Well, deciding never to visit your mother again was a bit…off putting."

"She's too negative, even when she thinks she's being encouraging. She didn't know how to raise me, because she never wanted me. To Trigon, I was nothing more than a tool for him to use, and to my mother and the Monks, I was nothing more than a weapon to use _against_ Trigon. Now that Trigon is gone, they don't know what to make of me, because I wasn't _supposed_ to have a husband or children. I was supposed to live in peace, tranquility, and in celibacy, like an Earth's version of a nun."

"Still, shouldn't Arella see the children as they grow up? She was quite surprised to see Lydia grow so tall."

"I didn't see mother react to Lydia, all I saw was her beaming over Austin, glad that he wasn't 'plague' with my powers. She's glad that Austin doesn't get to be monster like the rest of the family."

"Rae…" He whispered in a worried voice, as he lifted up her chin to see her face. He looked into her violet eyes, which for now, were dry. "If you don't want to see her again, you don't have too. Just, make sure your reasons are fair and not _too_ personal. Okay? Robin is gone, so please don't despair."

"My reasons are fair. Every time we visit, she has to constantly remind me that I am Trigon's daughter, that his forceful nature on her was somehow _my_ fault."

"Shhh." He whispered as Austin and Lydia made their way to the couch again before they took off towards the kitchen. Garfield looked down at Rae. "Rae, you don't need to worry about your mother. She can't hurt you anymore, and neither can Trigon. Remember that. _Please_." He pleaded.

Raven nodded her head before she rested it gently on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, to help herself calm down and also so that she wouldn't have to see Ursula prancing around and giving witches a bad name.

Weeks past by, and the Titans were getting new reports about Robin teaming up with Batman again in Gotham City. This came as a shock to the team, because Robin did not tell them that he was working with Batman and they thought it meant his resignation for the Titans. Starfire assured them that this was not the case and even Robin had stated that he had only done _one_ job with Batman months ago and that was _it_. But still, nightly news kept flashing that alert that Robin has joined with Batman once _again_. It could just be the media having a slow news day, but it was still some cause for alarm.

* * *

"Li-da!" Bruce shouted out with excitement, his chubby pink cheeks showing dimples as he smiled.

His feather black hair had been recently cut so his bangs wouldn't hang low right in his eye sight. His narrow dark eyes brighten up and he had received lighter brown eyes. Raven said she didn't see any difference that Starfire had pointed out, but Rae wasn't the one who was looking deep into Bruce's eyes everyday.

"No, no, Bruce, it's 'Lid-_de_-a'." Lydia corrected while Garfield was helping her adjust her green polo T-shirt and fixing her hair for her first day of school. The standard uniform for the Justice League Private School, a dark green polo T-shirt, and a black pleated skirt. She was allowed to wear black pants if it was a cold day with a long sleeve shirt underneath her polo shirt.

It was that time; Lydia was a little late in the game when it came to enrolling her into kindergarten, but as soon as the Logan's called up the school, the snarky little secretary just had one question, 'what took you guys so long?'. And although it was tempting for Garfield to comment back with a snide comment of his own to someone who was young and probably underpaid, he held his tongue and was transfer over to a higher representative.

The Justice League Private School for the Gifted was not necessary operated by the Justice League, they had bigger things to worry about, but they had private funds to help maintain the school, to help with kids who didn't have any money to go to school and pay for all the staff. It was not exclusively for parents who had a kid with powers, as the majority of students were orphans, left abandon by their parents when their powers became known. The school was first and foremost a place for learning, much like any other mainstream school, but with the Justice League, they help children who had trouble learning how to control one's powers. And although it was not guaranteed, the students were looked at by the Justice League to see if they could become potential crime fighters in the future. A steady place in society for when society abandoned them.

But just for now, the Logan's had to get through kindergarten. Or at least _finish_ kindergarten before going into first grade. There was much excitement in the air, and with Robin gone, Garfield and Raven felt much more comfortable celebrating this big moment, one of those 'first times' for their first child. Whenever Lydia had 'accidents' caused by her powers for the past few weeks, it didn't seem as life threatening as they first made it out to be, probably because they weren't life threatening, unlike when Robin was here, and they monitor her every move.

However, Lydia was still confused why her uncle was missing. Where did he go? What was he doing? Aunt Starfire always seemed a bit quieter these days without him and she wasn't fun when she was like that. So, why did he go away? And more importantly, when will he be back? When Lydia asked her parents, they said he had gone to stop a bad guy in a different country, which seemed a little farfetched considering that there were Titans in different countries as well and if it was such a big job, there was the Justice League. But her parents insisted that it was too much of a small job for the Justice League to be bothered with, but it was too much of a big job for Robin _not_ to take it.

Raven always wanted to make sure that Garfield and she would not go around telling lies to their children, that they would only give them sugar coated stories and fill in the dirty details later. However, in this one case, they couldn't bring themselves to say even in general why Robin had gone away. It wasn't fair for Lydia to know or for Robin to be painted as a villain, even though it was _so_ tempting. They took the easy way out and just told her a little white lie.

"Bruce, I'm gonna draw you a picture of the place and then—and then—"

"—But first you have to hold still, so I can do a proper pony tail." Garfield said as Lydia was moving around with excitement.

"Sooner or later, we're going to have to cut that hair." Raven commented as she came floating into the room with Austin in her arms.

"No! I like my long hair!" Lydia argued.

"I like your long hair too, just a little shorter, when it's easier to take care of and doesn't get knots as easy." Raven said as she put Austin down in the crib that was next to the kitchen.

"Okay, we're going to be late if you keep moving, Lydia." Garfield said, trying to get her to stand still. When she stopped moving, he was able to pull her hair up into a ponytail, and just as he smooth out her hair, he took out a white ribbon and tied a bow around the band.

"No, no, no, no." Raven said as she used her black energy to undo the ribbon and have it fall off Lydia's hair in shame.

"Rae, it's her first day of school."

"And the boys will make fun of her for having a bow."

"Or the girls would _like_ the bow."

"If you can win friends by having material items, those aren't friends you want to hang around—"

"—They're _six_, girls having fashionable clothes or stickers is something you become friends _because_ of it—"

"—Friends, why are you fighting?" Starfire asked from the other side of the room, making Bruce his breakfast as she was trying to get him to start eating Earth food.

"We're not fighting Star," Garfield said, perplexed by her statement. "We're just—"

"—running late and stressing out!" Raven finished as she looked up at the digital clock that was sitting next to the Gamestation, so the boys would know how long they have been playing a game.

The Logan's then made a few more quick trips around the Tower, making sure they had everything, because even with a list, they didn't _know_ what exactly was needed for the first day of school considering they themselves didn't attend a regular school. Once everything was packed, ready to go, and Lydia said her goodbyes to Bruce and Starfire before Raven teleported them to the front entrance of the school.

It was not located in Jump City, unfortunately, it was just a few cities up North, probably an hour drive, but much faster with teleportation. Lydia looked up to the large five-story building. It had painted tan bricks with giant window pans covering the first two floors, but only small round windows for the remaining floors. There was a small garden leading up to the two front steel doors, with a wooden bench underneath a cherry blossom tree, although it was bare because it wasn't the season yet, and a pond across the other side of the bench with a few small tadpoles swimming around.

Garfield wanted to marvel at the pond, wanting to act out some sort of scene with him and Rae and her kissing him as a frog, while she sat at the bench, but becoming more sensible, he stopped himself short and proceeded to take Lydia through the doors. They were greeted by a woman with short red hair and blue eyes. She had her little clipboard in her hand and showed them around before taking Lydia to her kindergarten class, located on the first floor. Lydia wondered what the other floors were for if her classroom was right there.

The classroom was full of kids about her size wearing the same uniform, except the boys were wearing black shorts, but some were Causcasion, some were black, Hispanic, or Asian, and there were a few who had abnormal skin color, much like her parents. Blue, green, orange, and any in between those shades. It was weird seeing kids other than her Bruce or her newly pale-grayish bother. She was intrigued by these children and yet, she was frightened at the same time. Bruce and Austin were smaller then her, and so she naturally could become their friends and/or play things, but with school, there were kids here who were the same age as her, or even older. What if she got really scared, one of her powers set off and the school was destroyed? Everybody would surely hate her then.

"Lydia, you should go play with the other children." Raven said, becoming aware that Lydia had not let go of Garfield's leg for two minutes after it was made clear that they had to leave.

Garfield kneeled down to Lydia's level and looked into her eyes. "Don't mind your mother; it wasn't like _she_ was one to play with others when asked." Raven rolled her eyes at the comment. "_But_….we do have to leave now."

"But Daddy, I don't want you to go…" Lydia pleaded.

"We'll be back by noon to pick you up."

"But that will be forever!"

"No, it's only forever if you think about it while we're gone."

"Lydia, you knew this was coming." Raven said.

"Yeah, but…I didn't want to go to school in the first place…"

"Hey!" Shouted a voice from a distance. It was girl with black hair. "We're playing 'heroes and bad guys', but we need another bad guy. Wanna play?"

Garfield pointed Lydia to the group who were asking her for her acting skills as a villain. "See? It's not so bad."

"But if I play, you guys will leave, I know you will." Lydia said.

"We won't go until you feel comfortable." He said, and she had no reason to doubt him, so she hesitantly made her way over to the group of girls playing 'heroes and bad guys' where, as the name goes, it was about a group of heroes defeating a group of bad guys. It was modern update on the 'cops and robbers' only the cops pretended they had super powers. Garfield stood up and turned to their guide. "Do they use their powers?"

"No. They are not permitted unless a teacher gives them permission and even then it is only used in emergency situations." The guide explained.

"Well, Lydia doesn't use her powers _on_ purpose." Raven explained.

"Yes, we know and we have taken special precaution with Lydia, if her powers come by, we do have a special room that is empty to help contain her powers."

"What do you mean by contain?" Raven asked, a little perplexed by her statement.

"Well, it's a padded room far away from the other rooms. I just don't like calling it a padded room because it makes it seem like the child is crazy and we're locking her up." She jest, but looking upon at Raven, she quickly added, "But that is not the case."

"And that's your _only_ means to solve this problem." Raven asked, taking a step closer. She felt offended by that last statement.

"Rae, Rae," Garfield whisper softly, as he escorted her away from the poor woman. "_Relax_." He looked into her eyes. "This is _good_. This is what we do at home. When she goes crazy, we sent her to her room. It's the same thing, except this room is just empty."

"I didn't like how she _said_ it."

"Me neither, but I understood her point anyway."

"Okay, okay." She agreed. "But if Lydia comes home in a straight-jacket, I'll be the first to say told you so."

"You always are, Rae, you always are."

After a few more hugs and kisses goodbye, Lydia was okay with her parents leaving. She gave her mother a hug, becoming awfully afraid that she would never see them again. When she gave her father a big hug, with Raven turning her around to talk to the guide, Garfield took out the white ribbon and quickly tied it tight in her hair. Somehow, Raven didn't see the bow as she said once more goodbye to her daughter and both of the Logan's then teleported out of the room.

* * *

When the two Logan's arrived home at nine o'clock in the morning, Starfire was in the living room, chasing Bruce around the sofa with little Austin in the white crib, sleeping soundly. Bruce jumped up on the couch and giggled as he fell down on it's cushions.

"_Starfire_." Raven whispered as she quietly floated over to the where Austin lay. "_Shhhh_."

"What, Raven?" Starfire asked looking up as she was too focused on Bruce to hear what Raven had said. But as soon as Raven had gotten her attention, Austin began to whimper before he started to cry and scream.

"Never mind." She said as she picked Austin up.

"Did everything go well with Lydia's day of school?" Starfire asked.

"Well, she was able to let us go home, so it's a start." Garfield said, looking down at the couch to where Starfire's communicator laid. "Has...(_coughs_) has he called today?"

"What? Oh! No, no, he has not. But he has told me there is a ten hour difference from where he is currently staying." Starfire said, giving him a small smile for asking about Robin.

"Really?" Garfield said, raising his eyebrow. "Because Gotham only has a _four_ hour difference."

Starfire looked up. Cyborg had already seen all the news on the matter over the Internet and he was irate to say the least. Raven couldn't care less where he was at this moment, but the fact that Robin was denying being in Gotham when people had _video_ on their smart phones of him and Batman chasing down criminals in alleyways made her angry as well. True, the quality was bad because most of the videos were at night, but there wasn't any doubt that Robin had been to Gotham at least, and probably was still there. Now Garfield was convinced their leader had abandon them.

"Do not believe what other people say." Starfire pleaded.

"How can I not? When everybody—"

"—That is all on the Earth Internet, people like to make up things on the Internet to be cruel—"

"—And sometimes the truth comes out on the Internet because reality is cruel. Star, I have _seen_ the videos. There is a small stature man in green tights with a black cape helping Batman out. Who does he sound like? I want some answers. Is _he_ abandoning us?" Garfield asked. "Because if he is, at least let him tell us."

"What if Robin is just _helping_ Batman out?" Starfire snapped. "He wants to try and find himself, and maybe this is helping him."

"If he is just helping Batman out, that would be understandable, but the fact that you called him up—and Cyborg too—and he just denies it, basically lies about it, tells me something is not quite right." He said.

"I will ask him, but you could always just ask him yourself. You are _still_ his friends. _Both_ of you." Starfire said, looking over to where Raven was standing. She didn't reply back, so Starfire looked away and went back to play with Bruce.

"She's not in the mood to ask about Robin right now." Garfield said for her.

"_Why_? Can you not see he is sorry? He has done all a man can do to be forgiven." Starfire pleaded. "He is not here and it pains me every day to know that he is not here. How much more can you ask of him before you are content with his apology?"

"Yes, well; there is something else he needs forgiving, that not even _he_ knows about."

"Well, tell him what it is, so all of this can be done with and everyone can be friends again. And he can come back."

"It's a bit more complicated than that. I will talk to him about it…later. Raven really is the one who needs to talk to him…But first, you need to get to the bottom of this Gotham thing."

"I will." She said, more determined than ever to resolve all conflict in this Tower. "And whatever it is that he has also done, I am sure he has meant no harm."

* * *

About an hour later, Starfire questioned him about the current events through the communicator. She saw in the background, seeing that it was snowing, and concluded that he was _not_ in Gotham City, which was a relief, because it meant he wasn't lying.

"Robin, _where_ are you?" She interrogated. "Everybody says you're in Gotham with Batman. I know you are not, but why is everybody _insisting_ that you are in Gotham when you are not? Our friends do not believe you anymore and they think you are _abandoning_ them. What is going on?"

"Oh, well…" He said, not exactly sure how to explain it. She did not see him in his uniform, as he was dressed in heavy red snow coat, with a backpack on.

"_Robin_?" She barked.

"Star, I have been putting off telling you this for quite some time now…where do I start…well, you do know that 'Robin' is _not_ my real name." He said. Why would he tell her that? She is asking him a question that needs a straight answer and yet he is distracting her with this fun little trivial. What was wrong with him? Starfire had an uneasy feeling.

"Of course I know! But you _prefer_ to be called Robin. You made it clear early on that you do not like your birth name. But all I want to know is what is going on? The others are mad as it is, you do not want to make it any worse."

"I'm _not_ in Gotham," He announced bitterly, looking down as he tried to decide how best to explain his situation. "I'm _not_ back together with Batman. I mean, I _did_ visit him, but he gave me some _choice_ words."

"What do you mean?"

"The Robin you're hearing about on the news is a different person, a _different_ Robin." He confessed. "I can no longer call myself Robin _anymore_ and wear the uniform. Batman made that _quite_ clear."

"What? But he cannot do that, you _are_ Robin, _my_ Robin! You are our leader, he cannot just _take_ your name and uniform!" She shrieked, having a hard time holding the communicator still as her hands began to shake.

"He _can_. I was appointed to be the sidekick Robin, and then after a while, I decided to go out on my own. I took the name with me and did what I wanted, until I found the Titans. But the name was _never_ _mine_ to keep. I adopted as my own, and I was allowed to keep it, but when I visited my old _friend _just recently, he reminded me the consequences of keeping that name."

"W-what do you mean?"

"After I told him about….well about Austin, he got _really_ angry. He said I broke the oath I took, those many years ago. I harmed a child and almost killed both him and possibly the mother in the process. I didn't even _monitor_ Raven while she was on the drug, he said, even though I _did_….Let's just say he takes things personally when you decide to target a child or his mother."

"So….you have been….?"

"Demoted." He finally said, the word that he had not said all this time when he was first stripped of his uniform, the word he was afraid to tell anybody, including his friends. "When I come home, if I _can_ come home, I can no longer call myself Robin. He found a new kid in his city and that kid now is wearing the uniform and adopting the name. It _looks_ kind of like me in the videos, but you can't really see his face. And that's how you know it's not me, I would have enjoyed the glory of the camera."

"So, does that mean you are going to be away much longer than expected?" She asked, knowing how this would complicate plans for their reunion.

"I'm afraid so." He said.

"Oh, Robin, what will _we_ do? What will the press say when they _believed_ that we have got the 'divorce'? Because this new Robin will surely complicate matters involving the press. They will believe that it's still you. What will the _team_ think? What….what will _you_ do when you come home?" She asked, all these questions that Robin had been asking himself for the past few weeks or so. "Oh, _Robin_, what can I even _call_ you if I cannot say _that_ name? Robin is such a beautiful Earth word to say."

"I don't know, Star. I just don't know about…about anything. I do not want to be called Dick, that's _one_ thing for sure." He said. It began to snow where he was located. "I'm afraid I will have to go…I need to sleep…but call me whatever you want to call me, because I sure as hell don't know." She saw him looking up at the sky.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, it's just that, it's just that there are so many stars up in the sky tonight and it's snowing as well. It's…it's just so beautiful. I wish you were here to see it."

"It is morning over here, the sun is up, so I cannot see those stars."

"When I come back, I should take you to this place, because it's so peaceful and beautiful."

"Robin, you coming home will not be soon enough," She said. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Star."

ALSO BIOSHOCK. YES, BIOSHOCK INFINITE HAS ALSO KEPT ME AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER FOR SOME TIME. SO IT WAS MORE THEN JUST WRITERS BLOCK, SOME OF IT WAS JUST GOOD OLE FASHION PROCRASTINATION. TO THE POINT I HAD TO MENTIONED IT IN THERE. SO FOR NOW, I SHALL SAY, I HOPE I CAN UPDATE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, BUT WE'LL SEE WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS…


	49. Starfires Turning Point

TEACHER: CLASS, WHAT DID YOU DO OVER YOUR SUMMER HOLIDAY?

SOME KID: I LEARNED TO PLAY BASEBALL!

OTHER KID: I SAW A WHALE!

ME: I FINISHED A CHAPTER ON MY STORY!

TEACHER: MISS. GOTHICA, DIDN'T YOU TELL YOURSELVE YOU WOULD DO THAT BEFORE MID-JUNE?

ME: WELL, I JUST WAS WRITING…AND THEN I HAD A VACATION…AND THEN WORK…AND THEN WROTE SOME MORE…BUT THEN I HAD WRITERS BLOCK…BUT NOW I AM WRITING AGAIN AND IT'S JULY. BUT, BUT I HAVE DIVIDED THIS _LONG_ CHAPTER INTO TWO INSTEAD! SO THE NEXT ONE WON'T BE TOO LONG TO WAIT FOR NOW.

TEACHER: I DARESAY, WE ALL HOPE SO!

ME: (STUDYING THE TEACHER) ARE WE IN ENGLAND BY ANY CHANCE? 'CAUSE YOU'RE TALKING ALL PROPER AND STUFF.

TEACHER: NO, YOU HAVE JUST BEEN WATCHING TOO MUCH 'DOWNTON ABBEY' THAT YOUR SUBCONCIOUS HAS SOMEHOW MADE ME BRITISH. I DARESAY!

* * *

"So, does Robin have any updates that I should know about?" Cyborg asked, a little annoyed that Starfire was trying to avoid the topic.

After a few days past and she was able to get more information on how exactly Robin was coping with this new change in his life, that is when Cyborg had caught her hanging up, so she couldn't say that she knew nothing. But she felt she didn't think she should tell anyone about it as it wasn't her own secret to tell. She was put in an awkward position; reporting to the new leader about the old, when she felt loyal of the old.

"Where are our friends?" Starfire asked, trying to change the subject. "Are they out shopping?"

Today, the Logan's had asked Starfire to babysit Austin for an hour or two. She didn't know why, because they had already taken Lydia to school, but suspected that they just needed a break from parenting for a bit. She glanced around the living room, seeing Bruce playing on the floor with Austin lying on his stomach beside him, sucking on one of his stuffed animals. Bruce had consider Austin his play toy and would sometimes pet his head as if he was a dog and Austin in return would utter gibberish to him. Starfire had to teach Bruce to pet gently and Raven had to trust that Bruce that he would pet gently.

"They're in their room. B told me not to disturb them unless it's an emergency." He said with a straight face. He knew what it meant and would have loved more than anything to crack a joke or two to her, but he had more pressing matters to attend too.

"Oh." She said, still clutching the communicator in her hand.

"You know, I kind of wanted to talk to him."

"Talk!" Bruce shouted on the floor. He was forming words or sometimes complete sentences, but he mostly rely on repeating back what the adults had said before hand. Star gave him a small smile before she turned her attention back to Cyborg.

"Well, why have you not?" She asked.

"I'm off on my time zones. Whenever I believe it's daytime where he is, I end waking him up, and he gets annoyed with me and isn't in the right state of mind to talk. Or sometimes he's in the middle of doing something else and says he can't talk right now. So, I haven't spoken to him in two weeks. I need an update."

"He just went to sleep." She said, knowing that wasn't enough.

"I _still_ need an update. _You_ can tell me."

She turned her head towards Bruce again. "I do not know half the activities he does—"

"—But you know _something_." He inquired, forcing her to look back at him. She tried to say that she didn't know what he was talking about, but when she opened her mouth, she just couldn't think of anything to say. It just confirmed his suspicion. "Star, I _know_ you know something. And I bet it has something to do with you-know-who."

More news about a Robin teaming up with Batman again was being blasted through the airwaves. However, there were some journalists on certain news sites speculating that this current 'Robin' is not the Robin married to Starfire of the Titans in Jump City. This new 'Robin' looked younger, had fewer toned muscles, was faster, and seemed to be a little more violent with the criminals then the old 'Robin'. But the Titans do not spend their nights searching up rumors about them online. Cyborg himself rather was anxious to hear from Starfire or Robin himself then from a third party news media. So, this sort of insight was not known to anybody in the Tower.

Starfire was left with a dilemma that was already in the process of being solved for her. However, she didn't know that, and neither did Cyborg. It seemed like a simply thing to do, to just tell her fellow Titans that Robin had been demoted, but she knew it would hurt Robin's pride if he didn't tell it himself.

"No, it is not that. It is just that—well, I cannot tell. You have to understand." She finally said. She asked Robin before what she should tell Cyborg, and even though Robin said it himself to just, 'get it over with,' she still thought it wasn't right task for her to do, mostly because she still didn't like the fact that _he_ had to change his identity all over again.

"Star, I _do_ understand, really, I do. He's your husband, but I'm the current leader. If it's going to affect the future of this team and myself, then I need to know it."

"It will not affect the team; the issue he has is _personal_."

He wanted to believe her, but something in her eyes told him that she wasn't telling him the complete truth. Or maybe it was the way her hands were clutching onto to that communicator that gave it away. Starfire didn't like the way Cyborg was staring at her, analyzing her every move. Oh, it would just be so easy to tell prove him wrong with one sentence, but the sentence would hurt her _own_ pride.

"Do you at least know _when_ he is coming back?" He asked rather coarsely.

"He will not come back until he feels he is completely forgiven by everybody, including himself."

"So…it's going to be a while then?" He said. The remark angered her.

"What more can Robin _do_? He has tried many ways in which he can receive forgiveness, even going as far as to the ends of the Earth to see if there is any way he can reverse this poison he has put on Austin. But he has found no luck. He should have support from his friends at this rather difficult time, but instead you ignore his cries for help. _Why do you all continue to ignore him when he has so much_?!" She cried out, gripping the communicator in her hand.

"Done? _Done what?!_ All he has done was leave the Tower, put me in charge—which comes with its own stress by the way—and that means he's gone to _not_ handle problems that arise _here_; _I_ have to do it. All the while, I am trying to keep the peace between you and the two love birds." He said, turning around, before he realized he had more to say. "Oh, you may _think_ all is well, but there are some things the two of them have said, in your absence, that makes me believe they are still not happy. I have been trying to forgive and forget myself, but I'm sorry, Star, he messed up. Big time. And while I think it's good he is trying to redeem himself, I'm a little worried that he won't come back, due to what's been flashing in every news program and magazine!"

"And you believe what the TV and the magazine say?!" Starfire snapped back, slowly lifting herself off the ground so she could float above Cyborg, a way to threaten him so he would back off. Funny how he hadn't read any stories that could imply that it was a different Robin, but he could have and thought nothing of it at the time.

"Well, I don't rely on them for news! I know how journalism is today, everything is a half truth, but sometimes, when you report it enough—_with video evidence mind you_—it makes you stop and think, that something must be up." Cyborg said, getting a little irritated that Starfire was getting in his face. He backed up a little before he stood his ground, ready to face the angry alien mother.

"I will not say anything because it is not my secret to share, it is Robin's! And it is not what you think! So, do not be angry with me and do not be angry with Robin! When he is ready, he will tell you what he told me." She said, backing away just a bit to give him some room to breathe. "But if you are having trouble with this leader position, I can ask Robin—"

"—Oh, no you don't! If he's not here, he doesn't get a say. He put me in charge, so I will decide what to do. I'll come up with something on my own. I know how to handle stressful situations, believe me. There was another problem Robin had apparently done before he left, and Rae and B are not ready to forgive. I solved that problem and have kept some peace. But it's just not helping when something like _this_ comes up—"

"—_he will come back_—"

"—Okay! If you say so, I'll trust you on that, but—"

"—why are our friends still angry at Robin?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

Although he knew she was just avoiding the other questions he was throwing at her, he played along, hoping to solve at least one problem in the Tower.

"Apparently, before Robin left, he wrote a letter. And while _I_ read it as a last known plea to be forgiven, plus some info on what Red X is up to, Rae and B didn't see it like that." Cyborg confessed, watching Starfire slowly floated back down to the floor, with her eyes looking sideways, trying to avoid Cyborg's gaze.

"A letter?" She more or less muttered to herself.

"Did you know he wrote a letter?" He asked, perplexed by her reaction.

"_I_ was the one who came up with the idea of a letter. I thought writing his actions down on paper would not only give him an opportunity to reflect on what he did, but also, our friends would see his meaningful gesture through a letter." She said, talking to the floor. "I do not understand how they could have reacted harshly to his heart-felt apology."

"I wouldn't say 'heart-felt'." He whispered under his breath.

"I heard that." Starfire snapped back, looking up again into his eyes.

"Sorry, it's just that, it sounds like, from the way you describe it, that you force him to write the letter—"

"—I suggested it and he agreed with me, I did not force him—"

"—In any event." He interrupted over her. "They were mad. Like, I mean _beyond_ pissed off."

"I do not understand, 'the pissed off'?"

"What I mean is that, B looked like he would attack Robin in his animal form, if he were to ever see him again." He said, and the words rang in Starfire's ear.

What would make Garfield so mad that he would go back to his animalist instinct and attack the first thing that made a move? She had read the letter as well, being the only other before the Logan's receive it, and she didn't see anything in it that would damned Robin even more.

She wasn't listening to Cyborg anymore, he was more or less just repeating the same thing in the same tone, and she tried to remember quiet moments with her husband before he had to leave. It had been far too long since he would whisper something in her ear and she would giggle or he would teach her something new about Earth that she hadn't already learn after more than a decade living on it. Her mind became nothing, but moments with him, at a more peaceful time in their life. Even the heartbreak of trying to get pregnant for the first couple of years into their marriage was still worth remembering because it brought them closer. They both had a problem, and they tried to solve it without the others help.

It was months before they soon discover that they couldn't possibly conceive a baby because of the way the human body works and the way the Tamaranean body works. The male 'seed' that required a baby for a female Tamaranean eggs, were in Starfire's words, 'not strong enough to survive' as opposed to a male Tamaranean's 'seed'. Thinking about it now, she wondered in her heart if everything that Robin had ever done or said that was opposed to Lydia's birth and now this mess with Austin, had it all just stem from jealousy? The fact that Garfield 'accidently' got Raven pregnant twice, could that have driven Robin over the edge enough to do harm?

But in the end, it didn't matter really, _they_ still won.

She had one child, they had two. Robin was gone, they had each other. So, what were they fussing about now? Was it that it was the mere mention of Red X? Or the fact that it took him this long to tell the whole story? Or should he have written down about all the times the guilt was eating him from the inside out and sometimes it was too hard to even call them down for a mission? She knew all this, but maybe they didn't.

"….And so maybe you could get a hold of Robin one day and I can talk to him? If you can't tell _me_ what's going on, I'll just have to ask him." He said, finishing his long lecture, before he noticed her eyes wandering off. "Hey, Star? Are you even listening to me?"

She looked back at him. "Cyborg, do you think they will ever forgive Robin?"

"I-I-I don't know," He said, taken off guard by her question. "Probably. Maybe." After a few more awkward silence passed between them, with her staring down at him, he sighed. "It _is_ a possibly, but I _wouldn't_ count on it anytime soon." He admitted. "I overhear them sometimes talking to Lydia or talking by themselves when they believe they are alone. No, they are not going to forgive him anytime soon. If ever. And trust me, I have tried being the peace maker in this house—"

"—Truly? You have defended Robin?" She asked, surprised.

"Of course, Star," He said, perplexed at first that she would question his loyalty. "Just because I'm still mad at him and really _hate_ what he has done—and this is why I want to make sure he hasn't abandoned us, because then I would _really_ hate him—doesn't mean I want to completely burn my bridges." He said. "He's still a damn good leader."

Those words struck a chord with Starfire. If only the Logan's knew everything that Robin was doing now, then maybe, just maybe…they could forget.

"Robin has done everything he can to be forgiven—even if I cannot tell _you_ this secret, I must tell our friends. They must know!" She exclaimed, flying off quickly to the hallway.

"Star, don't! They're kind of in the middle of someth—!" He shouted, but she was already gone. "_Aren't you supposed to be babysitting_?!" He added, looking back at Bruce's smiling face as he chased the crawling Austin around on the floor. "I _really_ don't want another TV broken."

He looked over to the TV, hoping that it would stand another night. He had figured out a while ago what had been burning the TV's out all these years. While he was initially mad, he didn't want to question them any further. It was for the sake of his health and the possibly that Raven would just start focusing her energy on something far worse, like his _baby_—_his_ _car_. He decided in the long run that the TV's were a small price to pay compared to what he _could_ pay.

His communicator rang as he sat down on the floor to watch his two nephews exchange looks at each other. Sighing, he picked his communicator up, believing that it would be Robin, wanting to tell him he was quitting the team. Or possibly just calling to tell him to lay off on Star.

He looked down. "Hey, Sparky!" The welcoming vibrant voice rang in his ear. He smiled.

"Hey, Bumble. I've had a hell of a week." He said calmly, relaxing a bit when he saw that is was only Bumblebee, and not anybody else who wouldn't give him a straight answer.

"Have you finished playing Lifezap Eternal yet?"

"No. And don't tell me what happens at the end! I want to see it for myself!"

"Trust me, it's gonna blow your mind! Can I come over and watch you beat the game? The guys are out today. I can be over there in an hour."

"I don't know, Titans Civil War may start at any moment. Star seems a little edgy with Rae and B." He said, looking over to the hallway, hoping it would stay calm and quiet throughout the day, but if push came to shove, he would have to get involved. Especially if it would interrupt his 'time off' for the day.

He was back on good terms with Bumblebee, but they were just good friends and nothing more. He was not afraid to admit it to anyone, even if strangers wanted to hook up with Bumble. The throbbing pain of losing Jinx as not only his girl, but his friend, had made him feel empty. That was the word, empty. He could absolutely say for _certain_ that he knew exactly how Garfield felt when Terra broke up with him. Empty and also a little confused. He just wasn't ready for dating yet. He would rather just focus on the team at hand.

"Now, I know it's only been a month to think about, Sparky, but have…have you thought about what I said? My idea?" The voice asked over the communicator.

"I _actually_ have given it some thought." He said as he turned on the Gamestation and waited for the screen to load up. "Although, I wish it could have come at a better time, with Robin not being here…but I guess it doesn't matter…"

Starfire flew down the hallway with the intent of possibly knocking down their door. However, when she finally made her way to what used to be Raven's 'old' room, with the words '& Beast Boy' craved underneath the formers name, Starfire could see that the door was covered in a misty black energy. A bit baffled, she tried knocking on the door, but to her surprise, the black energy acted as a shield against the door. Any type of noise or vibration she made to the door was absorb through the cold black energy and thus the only sound that she could make was a small 'tsk' as she bang her hand up against the force field.

Irritated, she tried calling out for them, something she knew she should have done in the first place, but she was just so caught up in the moment with her anger towards Robin, Cyborg, Raven, Garfield, that she had just focused her anger on the door for the time being. However, now that she wasn't getting any responses from the room, she had time to think, time to question why she would even bother telling them everything? Would it change anything at all or possibly nothing? Would they even care? Probably, they were still his friends. Were they not? Would they forgive him?

"They must." She told herself, although not silently just in case the Logan's were within earshot. "Raven! Beast Boy! I need to talk to you! Why do you not open the door!?"

Although she was praised by all of her super-alien strength, she did not understand why she couldn't break down this small door. How could Raven's black energy get so strong that it would compete against Star's own strength?

After what seemed like about half an hour of knocking on the door and calling their communicators, she was about to give up. She even threatened to shoot her laser eyes on the door, but after giving it some thought, she didn't want the black energy to possibly block it and shoot back to her.

So, the only thing she could do was to wait. She leaned up against the wall by their door and waited. Waited for answers, waited for time.

Her mind wander and she started thinking about the good ole days. To her, it seemed like just yesterday when everybody had their children in their hands and laughing about the different, silly things that their kids would do or say that amuse them all. Or the times when the four of them, either Garfield or Raven excused, would all be out fighting crime before little Bruce came along to make Starfire take a leave of absence for a while.

"Nothing is ever going to be the same." She told herself, looking down at her communicator. She still had held onto it this whole time.

It was moments later before she heard loud, thunderous noises coming from inside the room. She gave the door a panic look, and after giving less than a moment's thought, she decided to charge into the door. She ran back and hit the door with her shoulder, but it would not budge. Hearing even more loud atrocious sounds, she tried once more. But still, the black energy was preventing her from entering.

She was becoming a bit scared, afraid of what was on the other side of the door and why it was preventing her from saving her friends. There was some shouting, but before she had a chance to try again, the black energy grew even colder near her skin before it triggered off a small white blast, forcing her to jump backwards and putting her hands up to shield herself. When the black energy faded away, she then rammed into the door once again. She broke the door off it's hinges, picked it up and threw it off to the side. Carefully, she looked inside.

"Raven? Beast Boy? Are you hurt?" She asked, as she had her starbolts ready in her hand just in case all was not well.

She looked around the room, noticing how much it looked like Garfield's old room, a little shocked that Raven would allow Garfield to ruin her perfectly cleaned room. The books were scattered all over the floor, their clothes were on top of the most random furniture, and even the baby toys and baby items that were once neatly put into one drawer had all looked like it been thrown about the room…and somehow put on top of their open drawers and the curtain rod. But after a moment of looking over everything, she finally saw the two huddled in the bed. Raven looked like she was sleeping quietly in Garfield's arms, although breathing rather hard, with a blanket on top of her, with one breast peeking through. Meanwhile, Garfield was leaning back against the backboard, caressing Rae, with the blanket covering up his lower body. But she could see his rock solid green chest. He was looking up to Star with a wide-eye, startled expression.

Starfire's whole face slowly turned red as she realized what she had just walked into, she was lost whether she should stay and explain her actions, or just leave, and never speak about this again to anyone.

Garfield at first didn't know what to do, seeing as Raven had used up all her energy and was resting. But, Star just kept standing there, just watching them with her wide green eyes. She had enough time to leave, but she just stood there, staring at them. "Um, Star, _why_—?"

"—I did not know you two were—"

"—well, clearly _not_—"

"—but I just wanted to tell you something—"

"—can it wait?—"

"—and then I heard terrible noises—"

"—okay, Star—"

"—and I thought the worst had happened—"

"—_Star_!" He shouted, hoping he didn't wake his sleeping companion next to him.

Starfire continued to stare at them; she didn't know why she couldn't avert her eyes in the moment. Besides the pictures she had read in books, she had never seen two human beings—at least in real life—mate before. Robin and she didn't count, because it was one thing to do it on your own, it was another to see other people giving you an example. Even in films, there was too much close-up's to see anything other than the nape of someone's neck or the bundle of feet, dancing on the sheets. Technically, _this_ still didn't count because she had just popped in at the end of it all, but at least it was real. She was in shock. She was in awe. But mostly, she was jealous. There they were, having an afternoon delight, while her lone star ranger was out there, facing the world alone, which in turn made her alone.

"…..and so can you please go?! _Like now_?!" Garfield asked loudly. He had been talking this whole time, but she hadn't been paying attention. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be watching the kids right now?"

Thank Azarath she remembered that now and it caused her to bolt out of the room, otherwise Garfield was going to have to transform into an animal to hide the rest of his body. It was some kind of sacred rule; you don't see your platonic, opposite-sex friend naked, especially if you are a heterosexual. Garfield was just glad that only his bare chest was showing, otherwise he would never be able to look at Starfire in the eye ever again.

* * *

TEACHER: NOW, YOU PROMISE YOU WILL UPDATE SOON—

ME: I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES, BUT I WILL TRY—

TEACHER: DON'T TRY. _DO!_

ME: YOU ARE SO MAGGIE SMITH!


	50. Free Tickets for the Titanic

OMG, I MADE A CHAPTER APPEARED WITHIN A REASONABLE TIME! HOW DID I DO THAT? I DON'T KNOW, BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH LOADS OF THINGS THAT WOULD BORE YOU, BUT EXCITE ME. EXCEPT...

IF ANYONE HASN'T HEARD THE NEWS YET, TEEN TITANS GO! EPISODE 'TERRA-IZED' HAD OF COURSE TERRA IN IT, BUT IT ALSO STARRED BEAST BOY….AND RAVEN!...YES! YES! IT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK IT IS! IT'S ALL THOSE FAN FICS OUT THERE ROLLED UP INTO ONE IN THAT ONE AWESOME EPISODE. IF TEEN TITANS GO! HAS KILLED THE TEEN TITANS, THIS EPISODE AT LEAST BROUGHT SOME OF IT BACK TO LIFE. OF COURSE, TERRA FANS _HATE_ THE EPISODE…..BUT I HATE SOMETIMES WHAT THEY DO IN THAT SHOW TO RAE SO TERRA FANS ARE NOT SPECIAL OR ANYTHING, THIS TIME IT JUST HAPPENED TO WORK FOR ME! AND SHE WAS A STRAIGHT UP VILLIAN IN THE COMICS ANYWAY…SO I KIND OF DON'T CARE WHAT THEY THINK! I LOVED IT!

Starfire flew back to the living room, after walking in on Raven and Beast Boy's private time, but she let out a small sigh of relief when she saw that Cyborg was watching Bruce and Austin.

"Did you tell them?" Cyborg asked, as she turned the corner into the room.

She blushed. "No….I was not given the chance, because….I…" She couldn't say anymore. Cyborg gave her a nod.

"Well, you can tell _me_ in the meantime." He said, hoping her stubbornness had softened.

She looked up at him, defeated. "I just want Robin home; I do not wish to spend another day away from him. I have spent too many without him." She looked down at her son, who was running around the couch, smiling from ear-to-ear about nothing. His flowing black hair reminded her of Robin's. She remembered the times when Robin would run around in the training exercises beating up dummies in place of real criminals, having the time of his life.

Cyborg looked up at her, knowing that this probably wasn't the greatest time to tell her about the idea Bumblebee had about the future of the Titans. He wanted to announce it to the team today, but seeing that all was not well within the Tower, he thought he would just tell them one-by-one.

"What should I do?" Starfire asked him, which caught him by surprise.

"Uh…" He stammered for a bit, trying to bring any small comfort to his friend. "Star, you see—"

"_You mind explaining yourself Starfire?!_" Cried a voice that came out from the hallway doors. Starfire and Cyborg looked behind them to see their green friend leaning up against the door.

He was wearing a white t-shirt that was inside-out, with the tag sticking out, with his big black sweatpants on, and his hair was disheveled. His arms were folded and he stared at Starfire like she was an escaped criminal, running loose on the streets. It was a look she remembered him giving to the team when Robin told him that Terra was evil and wasn't his friend anymore; it was also that same cold look he gave to all of his team mates when his Beast was first discover and they told him he had hurt Raven.

Starfire had hoped she would never see that side of Garfield again, but now, here it was, and it was all directed at her alone. She stood her ground.

"I had heard that you still do not forgive Robin. I wanted to hear why and tell you the punishment Robin has given himself while he has been away—"

"—Cy, can you take the kids out?" Garfield said straight to Cyborg, interrupting her plea. "We need some privacy."

Although, Cyborg wanted to stay—feeling like he should be in Starfire's corner just in case Raven came out, and also making sure Garfield wouldn't lose his temper on his team mate—Cy had looked over to Starfire and she nodded her head. She was a big girl and could handle whatever Garfield could throw at her in the moment. Luckily, Austin had just ate and was in need of a diaper change, and Bruce was mesmerized by Cyborg's gadget toys on his arm and wasn't concern about leaving his mommy behind at the moment.

They were all hurdled out of the room and then it was just Starfire and Garfield, the once stay-at-home parent friends, now turned into enemies by their spouses.

"Well, go ahead, tell me about Robin's defense." He said. He came closer to her, but still kept his distance and they were both standing a few yards away from each other near the couch. He crossed his arms and gave her a stern look that intimidated her for a bit, but she just stood up straight and looked at him square in the eye.

"He is _not_ working with Batman. He _did_ go to Batman when he first left here and that is when…that is when…" She said, struggling with the words. It was _still_ not her secret to tell, and she should have told Cyborg first before anyone else, because he was the leader, but she thought that if she told Garfield, then he could at least tell Raven, and they both would accept Robin back into their lives.

"When what?"

"When…he was stripped of his 'Robin' uniform." She finally said and her heart trembled for a bit.

"What do you mean, stripped of his 'Robin'—?"

"Robin is not his real name. It is an identity. Just like how your name is not Beast Boy, it is only an identity. And Batman has stripped him of his 'Robin' identity."

"So, what you're saying is that Robin won't be wearing that red and green uniform anymore?"

She nodded. "And cannot call himself Robin or there would be consequences, as Batman tells him."

"But he doesn't _work_ for Batman anymore. Shouldn't logically speaking he should have been stripped of his uniform the _moment_ he _left_ Batman?"

"You are asking _me_ of your Earthly customs? I do not understand it either; I do not understand why Robin could give in to such threats when he is not the type to—"

"—except when it's Batman. And he's worked with Robin too. He probably knows Robin's weaknesses more then you do." He realized. He shifted his weight and put his arms down to his side. She knew that she had won this round. "So, why are you telling me this now?" Or maybe not. She shook her head in disbelief.

"_Do you not see?!_ He has been demoted from his uniform, he is no longer Robin! My Robin—!"

"No, I understand that Star, but what I am asking is if you have known about this for a while, why did you pick just _then_—at the worst possible time—to finally tell us? Huh? What was the rush if beforehand you were quiet about the whole thing?"

"I thought that if you two would have known the sacrifices he was making, you would forgive him and….and he would come home." She said softly, thinking now that it was a silly answer to the question and a silly idea in the first place.

He snapped his fingers. "Just like that, you think?" It was stupid idea, the more she thought about it. "Star, there was a lot more going on—"

"—I have also heard from Cyborg that you two are still upset about something that he had written in a letter. I want to know why."

"Star, let's just say it's more then what he wrote in that letter and it's more then—"

"—Well, tell me! _Tell me why you are still so angry at him!_ When he has done nothing—"

"—_Nothing?!_—" His voiced cried out while his hands curled up into a fist.

"Yes, nothing! He has apologized profusely—"

"—When he got _caught_ yes, but did he bother to tell us anything during those worrying months—"

"—I did not say he has handled everything well—"

"—well by your defense so far, it all sounds like Rae and I are just two _selfish _people who haven't anything _better_ to do then to just _spite_ someone because we _can_—"

"—that is not fair, Beast Boy! I am not saying he is behaving like a Saint while you guys are holding a grudge! I know why you are mad, _I_ am still mad; but it does not help to shun him away—"

"—and why not? Seems like all we need is a little breathing room away from him—"

"—well, I do not! I want him home again, and I want all of this behind us! So please, tell me what was in the letter that you made you two so upset?" She pleaded, taking a moment to catch her breath.

Garfield was panting too, tired of yelling so much, and angry at Star for putting him in this situation, angry that she was starting to ask the right questions.

"Side effects." Answered a voice from behind them.

Raven had entered the main room with the hallway door just shutting close behind her. She had her uniform on and look odd compared to Garfield's inside out T-shirt, as she had time to get dress.

"Rae, you should rest! I can take care of this." Garfield said, alarmed when he saw her walking up to them. Starfire raised her eyebrow from this, as she was curious why he was worried.

"I'm fine." Raven said in her monotone, as she laid a hand on his shoulder for support. "I still have some energy left and I can't rest anyway, knowing that you were going to argue with her."

"Rest? From what?" Starfire asked, however, as soon she said the words out loud, she realized what they meant. "Oh. I see." She tried to remember the last time she and Robin had to rest from their own intimacy. The memory made her jealous.

"Are you sure you shouldn't rest or meditate before getting involved?" He asked Raven quietly.

She nodded, looking into his eyes; she told him in a soft whisper, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Anyway," She said, turning her attention over to Starfire. "It wasn't his apologies or his tone that really hurt us—although, the description of him working with Red X was a little hard to swallow—it was the side effects list he left behind."

"Why, were you suffering from any of them?"

"We did, well _I_ did. We_ tried_ to pretend it was just the pregnancy, as if Austen had made me anxious for some reason, but we think it was the drug he gave me."

"What was this side effect? Did you not heal yourself then?"

"Yes, I did. I am better. To say the least. But the damage has been done."

"Well, should you not be at least happy that he wrote down what the side effects were, so you could get some proper treatment for it now?"

"_Happy?!_" Raven snapped back, with her eyes glowing red for a second or two, but Garfield held her hand, and her eyes reverted back to normal.

Starfire took a step back, but still stood her ground. She would have to phrase her words carefully. "What I meant was that, were you at least not…a little relieved to know that whatever it was, you knew where the source came from? Even if it was a sad thing to find out that it came from Robin?"

"I suppose."

Starfire looked into her eyes, trying to reason with her, hoping it wouldn't go badly. "What was this side effect again? Why are you not telling me?" What was with all the mystery? Why would Raven just not tell her instead of trying to talk around it? _Why did she always have to be the mystery girl on the team?_

"It's private Star." Garfield said, but Raven put her hand up before he said anything else.

"Nightmares." She simply said, biting her lower lip after she had said it, as if it was a confession to Garfield all over again. Starfire lifted her eyebrow.

"_Nightmares?_ But are not nightmares merely part of sleeping?" Were they blaming Rae having a bad dream on Robin? Why would they be fixated on such a small detail in forgiving him? Did they just _like_ being mad at Robin, because he was someone to blame? She scoffed before she spoke again. "Is this some sort of funny prank?"

"Starfire, you don't understand, these were not any ordinary nightmares. They were recurring ones." Raven said, with Garfield squeezing her hand as tight as possibly at this point. She couldn't carry on with her monotone voice for long. "These nightmares have only come to me a few times in my lifetime."

"I do not understand."

"Have you ever had a dream that felt so real, that when you woke up, you could still remember it in perfect detail?"

"Yes, on a few occasions."

"Well, for me, it has been nightmares. And not just any nightmares, but special ones; design to make me lose sleep. Or to even meditate peacefully."

"What are talking—"

"Trigon." She finally spat out the words. "It always comes back to Trigon." Garfield kissed her hand as she closed her eyes and began the long tale about her nightmares.

She did not go into detail about how graphic the dreams were, but just the mere mention of Trigon had still shocked Starfire nonetheless. However, when Raven came up to present day to talk about how she started to dream those dreams again on two separate occasions, the first, with Lydia asking about Trigon and the second, when she was pregnant with Austin, Starfire immediately realized where this conversation was headed and what the word 'side effects' meant to Raven.

"You….you do not blame Robin for these dreams?" Starfire asked weakly, almost as if she was unconvinced herself that Robin was still the innocent party in this particular matter. After all, he wouldn't have known that Raven had these particular dreams.

"At first, no." Raven said, even though Garfield clearly disagreed with her and was about to raised an objective, but Raven then went on," No, _I_ just reasoned that it was a strange coincidence that had happened, probably more to do with my pregnancy then some drug, _but_…then I started thinking what if it wasn't a coincidence at all? I certainly didn't dream those dreams when I was pregnant with Lydia….I had nightmares, yes, that was a given, _but_ it was about my ability to be a mother. Never about Trigon."

"Are not dreams just figments of your imagination? It could have been from stress, and then when you remembered your dream, during the day, you would stress that night that you would dream it again, and then you _would,_ creating a never ending cycle."

"I don't think so—"

"—But, was it not _I_ who told Lydia who Trigon was, and maybe that could have started—"

"_—Well, it certainly did start something, thinking about it now!_"Raven said a little more loudly then she wanted too, but the message did get across. She was still mad about Starfire revealing Trigon's history to little Lydia without asking either herself or Garfield first. She thought she had forgiven Starfire, but now it seemed that little sort of betrayal would always stick to their relationship from now on. Forgiving, yes, but not forgetting.

Starfire sensed her anger. "I know you are still hurt that I told her, and I am sorry I told her, but what if Lydia's knowledge about Trigon stressed you out—"

"_—it did!—_"

"—and then you dreamed about it all over again?" Star said, suddenly realizing what she was saying now. "And…and that would mean that _I_ am to blame for your grief."

"But you're not!" Raven said, changing to a softer tone not to discourage Starfire. "Robin is the one, I know it. After some time thinking about it, it all made sense. Yes, you put the idea in Lydia's head, but Lydia had been asking about Trigon for a while. I was just worried about Lydia knowing about him. I should have dreamt something with Lydia and Trigon interacting," She stopped for a moment, trying to stop the mental images of Trigon daring to touch her child. "….But I didn't, I dreamt the same thing I did when I was sixteen years old and before I became pregnant. But _that_ time," She paused, trying to suppressed the emotion in her voice. "_That_ time, I remembered much _more_ when I woke up."

She turned around, so she wouldn't have to look at Starfire while she tried to compose herself, and got caught in Garfields arms, she rested her head on his shoulder with her hands caressing him as he continued for her. "And with her remembering much more when she woke up, it led us to believe that it was _indeed_ the drug."

Starfire stood there, not knowing what to do, that her family had caused such misery to her best female friend.

"You will never forgive Robin, will you?" Starfire said to herself out loud. "Raven, it was a mistake, a _huge mistake_ he made, but it was not to _hurt_ you. He thought he was _helping_ you by taking away Austin's powers!"

"Well, great help he did!" Garfield exclaimed, as he continued to stroke Raven's back. She broke his embrace and moved to the side so that he could properly argue with Star. "Robin could have at least _approach_ us with this idea! That way, he could have _monitored_ her, making sure Austin wasn't hurt in the process and Rae was fine as well! He made a mistake? Yeah, I get that Star! He made a _huge_ _fucking_ mistake! He _messed_ with my family, and now I'm pissed off!"

"He was afraid you would never agree to such a thing—"

"—Why are you defending him?"

"….Azarath, metrion, zinthos…Azarath, metrion, zinthos…" Raven tried to say her mantra quietly, rubbing her head, but the yelling was getting to her.

"Because! He's not here to defend himself!" Starfire screamed, with her eyes glowing a bright emerald color as she floated up in the air. "I am tired of you _not_ talking to him! I am tired of being the mediator! I am tired of you saying nasty things while he is not here—"

"Well, then he should come back home! I can go head-to-head with him! I'm not afraid, is he?!"

"…metrion, zinthos…"

"That is not a very friendly thing to do to one's friends!"

"I don't think you understood me Star, he is no longer—"

"—How can you say that—"

"—Quite easily, considering everything that happened—"

_"—Azarath, metrion, zinthos—"_ Raven tried to cry.

"—You have always thought that Robin was not a good leader, and now this is your chance—"

"—Where is this coming from?! I've never said that—"

"_—Guys, can you stop fighting! I need some quiet!—_"Raven shouted.

"—This is just not about Raven, is it? It is something more—"

"—Yeah! I have Lydia and Austin now! Of course there is something more—"

"_—Are you boasting about your ability to procreate?—_"

"_—Azarath—_"

"—What?! Of course not!—"

"_—Metrion—_"

"—That is such a hurtful thing to say! Friends do not say that to each other!—"

"_—Zinthos—_"

"—That's not at all what I meant!—"

"—Oh, yes it was!—"

"_Enough!_" Raven cried out over them as she raised her hands up in protest.

Starfire looked into Raven's glowing eyes and her hands filled with black energy after a heartbeat, and Star heard a loud rumbling noise coming from directing behind her. All three of them looked at the windows and saw the tiny cracks slowly growing larger as it moved towards the center. She had only another three seconds to realized this and cover herself with her arms before every single window in the Titans Tower exploded into a million pieces. Half of the glass managed to fall off from the impact, but the rest of the pieces shredded through the main room with a force.

Raven didn't have enough of a reaction time to form a force field around the three of them as soon as the windows exploded, but she was able to make one nonetheless. They all fell to the floor from the impact. She put as much of her energy into the force field as she could so that way when she lost consciousness, it would still be up. However, she didn't lose conscious and tried to shield powerful blast of the flying glass coming towards them. After a few more seconds, the raining shards of glass had stopped. They were all bleeding, but the room, however, suffered greater damage. All the furniture was destroyed as the glass ripped through the soft fabric or punctured the hard wooden chairs in the kitchen. The carpet, besides the one they were all standing in, was covered in the sharp crystals, to the point that it looked like a very chic modern Winter Wonder Land being displayed.

Starfire had cuts all down on her right side of her body, the side she used to shield herself from, and some pieces of glass in her hair, but her face was almost untouched. She looked up to Garfield, who had cuts all across his face, arms, and legs, with him bleeding profusely. She saw Raven getting up, with cuts all across her front body, bleeding on the carpet as she inched her way to Garfield. The dirty blood dripping down Garfield's bright green face made him look like a Scottish kilt and he at first held up his arms to stop Raven from touching him, but looking into her eyes, he realized he should just let her continued.

A moment later, Star saw Raven touched him with her black energy and all his cuts, scratches, and bruises started to vanish as time passed by. Although, it seemed like Star's scratches were only that, just a scratch, she soon felt the pain as she looked closer at her right arm and right leg. It was one too many scratches not to start to feel something. She saw that Raven still had the force field up, and with that she felt trapped. Star was about to tell Raven that she should better lowered the force field so that she could be free and walk away from this mess, but when she looked up, she saw Raven inching her way towards her, still bleeding all over. Soon, Raven's whole face and arms were nothing, but a huge red smear.

"Raven! You are bleeding! _What are you doing?!_" Star exclaimed, almost horrified that Raven was looking too much like her father right now. Raven didn't say anything, but continued to have that determined look in her eye as she put her hand on Starfire's leg. "Do not touch me! You are only making it worse!"

"Just give it a sec, Star." Garfield said to her, as he rested where he sat, with his face completely cleaned, but slightly bruised.

"No, no! I do not want to be touched!" She said, lifting her leg out of Raven's reach.

"Starfire…please….." Raven muttered as she tried to speak without spitting up too much blood in her mouth, as it rained down her face. She had one hand on her side and the other reaching to Starfire's leg, staring at Starfire.

"Raven, please, just heal yourself first!" Garfield shouted out when Starfire didn't put her leg back after a few more seconds.

Raven continued to stare at her, with Starfire not knowing what to do. She thought that if she let Raven heal her, this would in some way make it seem like she was admitting defeat, because they would draw a comparison between Robin and what was happening now. That they were allowed to not forgive Robin, because Raven had just made a mistake, but she was trying to fix it at the moment, whereas Robin made a mistake, but didn't fix it at the right moment. In the end, Starfire put her leg down and Raven pressed her black energy on her leg.

But Starfire would not admit defeat. "Thank you." She said anyway.

* * *

Cyborg admitted them all to the infirmary, even if they didn't really need it. The crisis was averted at least, because Raven had healed them all of their major wounds, but they still needed to check that none of that glass got into their system. And then after all this, they still had to clean the whole Tower of glass. Goody. Luckily, at the time of the explosion, Austin and Bruce were outside with Uncle Cyborg, who had thought that it was too much of a nice day to be wasted trapped inside. Cyborg was sitting down, watching them play when the explosion happened; he had a second to look before he held the kids close to him and shielded them away from the sharp debris from the other side of the Island.

Lydia was told at school what happened, but was also told that she would stay a little late at school, because the Logan's didn't want her anywhere near the Tower. Austin and Bruce were in the infirmary with the adults, with them being held in their hand, or occasionally dangled in the air with Raven's black energy, but the infirmary was still hit hard by the explosion and there was broken glass near the giant hole that used to hold the window. Cyborg had put boards up on the bottom part of the hole, so that way the kids wouldn't fall out. But that was the least of their concern.

"Now, hold still Starfire." Cyborg said, still looking at some of the bruises that were left behind, hoping he wouldn't find anything abnormal. Garfield was holding Bruce as she was being examined.

"Robin's right." Starfire said with an attitude.

"About what?" Garfield asked, forgetting what they were fighting about a mere twenty minutes ago.

She looked over to where Raven laid with Austin. "Austin should not be cursed with Raven's monstrous powers." Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked up at Starfire in shock. There was silence, and only the squirming baby and toddler made any noise.

"Curse?" Bruce repeated. Starfire then remembered that he was somewhat listening to them talk, but she figured that he wouldn't understand what was happening. Cyborg looked over to the Logan's before he continued to check Starfire's bruise.

"Starfire, I'm sorry. It was an accident." Raven said, her voice sounding defeated. "I tried to warn you guys while you were arguing—"

"—So, it is _our_ fault then?" Starfire asked. Raven waited for a few seconds before speaking, as she didn't want another fight to break out. Starfire just continued to stare down at Raven, waiting for an answer.

"Watch it, Star. Raven is not the only one who can lose control over her inner demons." Garfield threatened.

Raven sighed. "No. It is _my_ fault. I take full responsibility, and I will pay for the new TV, Cyborg." She said, turning her head towards his.

"Don't worry about that, Rae, I know a guy who can give me a good offer." He said, trying to relieve the situation all together.

"Still, I will want to pay for it." She said, turning her attention back to Star. "And I will buy you a new bed, Starfire. Furniture, clothes, toys for Bruce, whatever you need. Garfield and I _have_ been saving up."

"No." Starfire said in harsh tone. "I will not need anything."

"We can't keep that stuff in your room, Star." Cyborg pointed out. "Everything is _beyond_ repair or has hidden glass shards in it."

"No, I will not need anything, because I will be leaving soon." Starfire announced.

"What?!" All three Titans asked, almost in unison, astonished at her statement, looking up to her.

Another awkward moment of silence before Austin started to babble, trying to get Raven's attention.

"Star, what do you mean you are leaving?" Garfield finally asked.

"I have given it some thought," She started out calmly. "And I have come to the conclusion that you all view Robin differently now. But I am his wife, and I love _him_, _I will not be apart from Robin any longer!_" She shouted. "So, I have decided that since Robin is no longer welcome here, neither am I. So, I am leaving, and I am going to take Bruce and follow wherever Robin goes. I have decided, and you cannot change my mind."

"But you can't leave us, we're a team." Garfield spoke up.

"I am afraid that time has passed. I must be with Robin, but you will not forgive him, so I shall have to leave the team, as he has as well."

After a few more awkward seconds, Garfield took a step forward and said, "Well, if that's what you decided. I wish you luck, go then. Leave us! Goodbye. Just go!" He then quickly gave Bruce to Raven and ran out of the infirmary.

"Beast Boy—" Starfire tried to shout, but he was already gone and she was at the mercy of Cyborg's examination. She looked over to Raven who was struggling holding two kids in her arms. "Raven, I believe it is for the best."

Raven met her eyes, but she wouldn't say anything.

Starfire then looked down at Cyborg. "He'll be fine," He reassured her, "It's just a shock. But first, let's just get you all patch up."

"You are not going to talk me out of it?" She asked, surprised.

"We'll talk about it later." He said, motioning his head towards Raven to imply that he wanted it to be privately.

"But I _am_ leaving."

"Like I said, talk about it later." He said.

She looked back to where Raven was sitting, but those big violet eyes only intimidated her more.

"Can you not understand, Raven?" She asked. "Why are you staring at me that way?"

"You called me a monster." Raven confessed, with her face burning red. "There are many things I can forgive, Starfire, but both you and Robin have called me a monster in one way or another." She looked down at Bruce, who was smiling up at his baby cousin. "I hope you know what you're doing. There's more ways to screw up a kid then giving them 'monstrous' powers. I wish you luck in raising him."

Raven held Bruce tight and kissed him on his forehead, with small tears running down her eyes. He giggled when she kissed him.

"Austin will not be the only person who will miss you." She whispered to Bruce.

Starfire tried to form some sort of small talk while they were both trapped together in that small room for the time being, but Raven refused to speak to her the rest of her treatment.

Starfire realized she hadn't told Robin yet.

I ALSO DIDN'T REALIZED I HAVE REACHED CHAPTER 50! AWESOME! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING AROUND ALL THESE CHAPTERS, WHETHER YOU JUST WALKED IN OR HAVE BEEN HERE SINCE THE BEGINNING! CHEERS LADS AND LADIES, THE NEXT DRINK IS ON ME! *LEAVES THE ROOM QUIETLY AND QUICKLY TO AVOID THE BILL*


	51. The Past Haunts Us

HALLOWEEN, HALLOWEEN, HALL-O-WEEN/ TIME FOR COSTUMES AND TRICK OR TREAT!/ ELIZABETH COMSTOCK WILL HAUNT MY PLACE/ GIVING CANDIES TO TREATERS WITH SUCH GRACE/ BUT COME NOVEMBER/ THE STORES WILL THINKING ABOUT DECEMBER AND FORGETTING ABOUT THANKSGIVING/ SO PLEASE BE AWARE, YOUR CANDIES YOU SHOULD SHARE ON THIS HALLOWEEN SO WELL/ OH PLEASE BE AWARE THAT BLACK FRIDAY COMES AND WE ALL BE IN RETAIL HELLLLLLLL!

"_Austin should not be cursed with Raven's monstrous powers."_

Raven opened her eyes and woken up from her deep sleep. It must have only been a few hours, since she had been awake, but still, she felt as tired when she woke up as she did when she first fell asleep. She stared out into the darkness and for a few seconds, believed that it all was a dream. It could have been. Maybe this was Trigon's ultimate plan all along, by giving her nightmares long after his death so she would blame then her teammates and slowly begin to lose her mind. But Trigon never foresaw his own fate, so why would he care about what happen to his bastard daughter?

Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she could see the top bunk bed above her, remembering that she was in the Titan's defense bunker, for emergency cases when they needed to take underground shelter. She didn't think the team would ever use the bunkers again after Slade, but here they were. Luckily, she didn't have to be in the same room with Starfire or Bruce, as the bunker was divided up into different rooms.

A small whimper began to ring in her right ear, and she remembered that Austin was sleeping beside her. She reached her hand out and comforted him with her soothing touch. She realized that she had moved the bed when she had awoken up, and therefore had disturbed Austin. She raised Austin with her black energy an inch high in the air and slowly rocked him. Within five minutes or so, he soon went back to sleep and she was thankful for that much.

As he continued to float above the bed, she got up and wrapped herself with a white blanket that had fallen on the floor. She walked through the darkness and found a flashlight and her communicator that were both sitting on the desk nearby. She turned the flashlight on and pointed it at the top bunk. She found Garfield slumbering in peace with his arms wrapped around Lydia as he drooled and snored, his tired face looking toward Raven's direction. Lydia's face was turned to the other side, but her hair was all dishevel, and it had taken her about two hours of Garfield's storytelling to get her to fall asleep.

Lydia had been devastated when she came home and discovered that all her toys, her personal items and her room had been destroyed while she was at school. She _wouldn't_ stop crying, and this cause her powers to be released, which caused _more_ unwanted destruction to the Tower and then she would cry even _harder_. It became an endless cycle, until Cyborg remembered he had stock a pile some ice cream in the defense bunker. With a suspicious tone, Raven asked him later why the bunker had _ice cream_ in it—of all things—and Cyborg had confessed he had a feeling that they might need it one day for an emergency meditation session that was _not_ in the Tower.

Raven wondered if there could ever be a time when Lydia knew how to control her powers before they got out of hand, but then Raven would remember it was her _own_ powers that had gotten them all into this mess in the first place. She tried later in the day to explain to a confused Starfire why she had gone crazy and destroyed their home, but Starfire was not in the listening mood. Apparently, if the Logan's couldn't forgive Robin for an accident, why should Starfire do the same for Raven? Nobody was in the mood to argue, so the two avoided each other as much as possible.

Making sure her family was all well, Raven quietly walked outside of the room, into the bunker hallway, silently closing the door, and walked down towards the bathroom. She pulled out her communicator and stared at it for a while. It had been a long time, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to speak to _him_ yet, but after taking a deep breath, and slipping inside the bathroom door, she dialed the number.

She turned on the bathroom lights and looked into the mirror as she awaited her call to go through. She saw a sad, pale middle-age woman looking back at her. With wrinkles here and there around her face, heavy bags under her eyes, and a strip of grey hair among her lavender locks. Was she always this old and had never noticed? Or had time suddenly sped up while she stressed out over her last pregnancy?

After two minutes of the communicator buzzing, she lower the device, as she was about to give up and go back to sleep, until a voice cried out.

"Hello? Starfire? Sorry, my communicator was out of reach."

For a single second, she wanted to shut the communicator off and throw it across the room, but she remained calm and took control. Just the _sound_ of his voice drove her insane. She didn't know what she was expecting to get out of this call, but she wanted it to be said that she _did_ try. She took a deep breath and turned over the communicator, looking down at it.

"Raven?!" He gasped, more surprised than upset.

She widen her eyes looking at him, "Robin?!" she exclaimed, a little startled by his bright wide blue eyes staring back at her. Dammit, now she had to look into his actual eyes. She had never known Robin without his mask on and this little surprise had taken away some of her confidence she had when she first began the call.

"Oh, right! My mask. I keep forgetting. Yes, well, out here, in the wilderness, I tend to take it off more. And…and well, it's….it's good to see you." He confessed, trying not to sound angry or scared, but she didn't believe him.

"I doubt that." She said coldly.

"Why? Can't we just be civil to one another?"

"I need to tell you what happen today." She said, ignoring his request. "And what Starfire plans on doing about it. That's why I am calling. That's the _only_ reason."

"Why? What happened? What's going on?"

_Starfire, for the love of Azarath! Please, tell me you at least told him!?_ She thought. "Well…first off, I know exactly why you don't have your mask on, but I am not commending you on turning yourself in, although, Starfire _believed_ we _would_ be praising your _sacrifice_ when she told us. And that's how this whole mess started in the first place…"

She then went on to tell him in detail about the events that happened that day, excluding the little detail that Garfield and herself were busy with some other form of activity before Starfire interrupted them…

Thinking about it now, Raven wasn't completely satisfied with her 'session' with Garfield. She had heard something or some_one_ coming from outside of the bedroom, and she tried to ignore it, but the constant banging on the door had interrupted her concentration, and with that, her satisfaction. She could still feel that lust creeping out a bit when she laid in bed without Garfield by her side, as he was attending to Lydia. Even though her mind was on other matters, she couldn't help but daydreamed about his muscular arms caressing her, pressing his well-toned abs against her own and massaging her gentle pale pink Zinthos hole with his own green electric eel, giving her sweet, sweet pleasure as she scratched his back begging for more just by saying the word 'Azarath'…

If only she wasn't talking to Robin right now. At least it kept her lust locked up.

"You what!" Robin shouted over the communicator. She wasn't daydreaming anymore.

"Easy, Robin, it's not like it's irreplaceable. We cleaned most of the glass shards out of all the rooms. We just need to rebuild a little—"

"—And you _still_ question me why I don't want another Demon child running around the city?—"

_Well, so much for 'being civil'_, "—Hey! None of this would have happened if you would just allowed Garfield and myself to take care of—"

"But Raven, you had _years_ of practice, being taught by the best, and still, something as flimsy as a _loud_ argument could send you over the edge. This is why we have to prepare and be careful—"

"—_Careful?!_ _What the fuck do you think 'careful' means_? You gave my child and myself an unknown drug with unknown side effects!—"

"—I _knew_ the risk—"

"—You did not how _much_ of a risk! _And do not bring up my past! _You do _not_ know what I had to go through! _I_ wouldn't say it was the greatest childhood in the world, so do not use _me_ as some saintly example!" She was breathing really hard from all the shouting and hoped against all hoped that she wasn't smashing the Tower right now with her black energy. She was waiting for Robin to make some other stupid remark to just send her over the edge, but he didn't.

She waited for what seem like an eternity, until finally, he said, "You need to calm down."

And that was the stupid comment. "Starfire is leaving us and plans to follow you—"

"—What?—"

"—while you try to 'find yourself', but she can't, _if_ you retrieve your position as the leader."

"Do you want me to come back?" He asked sincerely.

If it were any other day, in any other situation, in any other timeline, she would say 'yes' without a moment's hesitation. But then she started to think about Garfield, how he felt, Lydia's reaction when Robin left, Starfire's cold statement about Raven being a 'monster', and Cyborg's headaches of trying to create peace in the Tower. So, her long silence gave him the answer he didn't want.

"I wouldn't mind it." She finally said. "Although, there is still some trust issues I have harboring."

"When did Starfire decide all of this? To just leave?" He asked.

"_Why don't you ask her?_ I was expecting _you_ to already know. The only reason why I called was because she is going to take Bruce with her—"

"—since when have you paid any attention to Bruce?"

"_Always!_ He is my nephew, and I treasure him just as I treasure my own family!I can't believe you don't know that Robin. Lydia was devastated when you left, so what happens when her favorite aunt and best friend have to leave too? She was upset enough when _you_ left; how am I supposed explain to her why they left?"

"Why, has Lydia been acting out?"

"Of course she has, her only known family is being torn apart and all I could do was consult her as she meditated."

"….meditating. Hmm." He said casually. "Sounds like a burden to have, always having to keep your emotions in check—"

_He's testing me_, she told herself as her cheeks colored from the anger roaming inside her. She started to take deep breaths as he continued to talk. Enough was enough. It was time to heal the wounds of the past and start over.

"Also, maybe _I_ don't want Bruce to leave as well or Cyborg having to break up fights…."

"—Always having to make sure you don't feel too much—"

_Asshole_. "Robin…..Robin….Robin…" She said, trying to interrupt him. "Robin!" One of the lights shattered in the bathroom, no doubt, he saw it, but the room was not in complete darkness.

"Yes?" He asked.

She allowed a long silence to pass between them. "What did I _do_ to you to deserve this?"

"What are you talking about?" He sincerely asked.

"It only makes sense that I did some wrong to you a long time ago, that you have not forgotten, and that's what makes you believe that my children were going to be born into full grown _demons_—"

"—That's not—"

"—because that's the only thing that makes sense."

"Nothing. You have done nothing to me." He sighed. He was getting tired of arguing, all he knew what he had gotten from this conversation was that Starfire was going to leave and join him. This would mean the breakup of the team…and yet he was eager to see her. Why did he not feel troubled? Well, he did, but not as troubled as he thought he should feel if this happened years ago. It felt wrong that it didn't feel _so_ horrible.

Raven studied his face, not accepting the answer he was giving her. "Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"In all the years I have been a Titan—"

"—no, you have not done anything to me, thank goodness. You have not hurt me or Starfire. Not even when you were first going out with Beast Boy—"

"—_When?_ About a _decade_ ago when I _first_ started going out with Garfield? You had a problem then?"

"I didn't say that—"

"—but that's what you meant. I don't need to use my powers to read between the lines—"

"—haven't you?—"

"—no! I haven't read any of my friend's goddamn minds in _years_." She said, before quickly adding, "Except Garfield's of course." She sighed and closed her eyes. "Okay. I am trying not to get angry. So, please, tell me. Why?"

"Why what?"

"_Why_ did you have a problem with myself going out with Garfield? He's a part of the team and your friend! Would you rather I have dated someone else outside of the team?"

"You could have, I wasn't going to stop you—"

"—you're not answering the question—"

"—I had a problem with you dating _period_."

So, the truth was finally coming out. This news about Robin having a bit of a problem with her dating Garfield was a bit of shock to her, and at the same time, it wasn't. Robin liked structured plans and organization, although he seemed like he didn't mind what his friend's did outside of work, but of course he would never say anything about it if he in fact _did_ mind.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "_And why?_" Oh Azarath! Why was he being so difficult? It was as if she would walk through one labyrinth and discover another one behind the door of the last one.

"Raven, you have a hard life. I know you don't tell us as much as you would like to tell about your past, but I can only imagine if you were trained to suppress your emotions, learn to meditate at a young age, and of course, Trigon." He said. "I just didn't want you to complicate your life anymore by having these love affairs with your teammate. For one thing, you shouldn't date your co-workers—"

"—_you_ should _really_ talk—"

"—well, it's more of an exception then a rule, but it should be a very good exception—"

"—And it's _not_ like any other Titan does this either—"

"—Okay, I get it! That was a stupid thing to say, of course most Titans date each other! _But_ it's more of general rule in life. Also, at the time, you two were always on-again, off-again, which is what I feared from the beginning—"

"—_yes_, only because _I_ broke up with _him_ whenever I thought I was feeling _too much_. He never hurt me, Robin. At least, not on purpose. I was the one who was always pushing him away—"

"—Yes, but _I_ didn't know this, and all I can go by were those occasions where you weren't talking to him or he wasn't talking to you. And I just thought you shouldn't be dating after all everything's that's happen. You should live in a drama-free world for the rest of your life."

"That world doesn't exist."

"Well, not here…"

_Perhaps, to him I will always be that little girl who was prophesized to end the world._ _The brother I never wanted. Goody. _She held the communicator tight and her violet eyes seemed on fire as she looked into his blue ones. "I was never going to leave the Titans to live in a monastery if that's what you believe. How come you never said this when I was dating him?—You don't think I was saying all of these things to Garfield as well? How much I was worried how getting emotionally involved with him would, well, _affect_ my emotions? You don't think I was thinking the same thing? Like I just decided on a whim one day, 'I wonder what Beast Boy is doing?' and then _blam!_ _We went out on a date and said that we were in a relationship? You believe that it just happen like that!?_"

"Rae, please, give me some credit. Obviously, you didn't _expect_ it to happen. And neither did I—"

"—yes! I didn't _expect_ it as you eloquently just said. I didn't _expect_ to have friends, to fall in love—to experience the great pleasures in life such as friendship, love, a stable home, a husband, and children—especially not children!" She felt her eyes getting watery, but she didn't care if he saw her cry. She didn't care anymore. "Do you know what it is like to spend all your childhood being told, _'you can't do this because you will bring harm to others if you do'?!_ And then when you finally do break those rules—all of them—it is not as bad as everybody made it out to be?...And for once, just once, you are not only happy about breaking those rules, b-but you didn't hurt anybody while doing it, so you don't have to feel guilty later! Have you _ever_ had that feeling Robin? Because that is my life, and the stress of letting go has made me _not_ just a happier person—but a _better_ person." She wiped away her tears with her sleeve even though there _were_ tissues in the bathroom near her, but she didn't care to grab them. "And yes, I let myself _feel_ things—just because I suppress them doesn't mean I don't have _any_ feelings period!"

"Look, Rae, I'm sorry I didn't want you to date Beast Boy. But you did anyway. So why—"

"—look for answers from the past? Because, sometimes it shapes our future. All I wanted was to know if I had ever done anything to you. And I have, but not in the way I was expecting. Now, I know, you have to make sure everything is controlled for you—"

"—no, I don't!—"

"—yes, yes, you do!" He was about to argue more, but she stopped him. "You know, I had called to try and somehow convince you to talk to Starfire to stay or for you to just apologize to me in some way and maybe I would be okay with you coming back. But, now…well, now I realized, maybe a break is not such a bad thing. Maybe I do need to explore my other options as a parent to make Lydia feel loved without having her Uncle, Aunty and cousin around. She does miss you, by the way."

"Then, if you would let me, I can come back."

"_No_." She said firmly. "No, because I still do not forgive you. And even if I did, I _wouldn't_ forget. No, I think we should try out this little _break_ for a while." She tried to quickly hide her tears as they were slowly rolling down her cheek. "Let Starfire take Bruce away and follow you to Azarath-knows-where—"

"—But then you would only be down to two Titans—"

"—No, not necessary. I overheard Cyborg talking to Bumblebee about possibly running a recruitment program, since we are getting old, and crime is happening faster then we can react sometimes. I don't think he knows I know, but I'm sure I am the first person to approve of this project."

Robin couldn't believe what he was hearing. His eyes widen from all that she was saying, trying to let her know how he was feeling, but she said everything so calmly, almost like she was happy that the team was breaking up. Or just didn't care anymore.

"Raven…I am sorry that it has come to this—"

"—if you were truly sorry, you wouldn't be defending yourself as the savior of the world who would poison an innocent child—"

"—I never said I was some savior—"

"—No….no you didn't. But you didn't have too. Your actions have said it all." And with that she snapped the communicator shut. _It has to be this way_, she thought to herself, although she wished it weren't so.

For months she had been struggling with how she was going to talk to Robin again when given the chance, which is why she had waited so long to call. Now, out of sheer anger, she had sealed the teams fate just because she didn't like the idea of him having different sets of standards for her then for anybody else. When Garfield was going out with Terra, did Robin say anything then? What about anytime Cyborg had his own off-again and on-again relationships? Why was it okay for Cyborg or Garfield or Robin himself to have romances here and there, but not her? And Robin was just jealous anytime Starfire dated anybody, so it couldn't have been because Raven was a girl.

_Although, you didn't find out about his feelings until now, so, what does it matter?_ She argued with herself_. Everything…Bruce will be taken away from me, and there's nothing I can do about it. You think you're the only aunt in this Tower, Starfire? But at least I won't suffer alone. You will not see Lydia either… Although, I will have to explain myself to Cyborg. What a spiteful woman I've become._

"…You don't have to be spiteful…" Whispered a woman's voice.

Raven was startled by the sound and more so by the message. She was afraid to turn around or even look in the fogged up mirror in front of her, but she slowly turned around towards the door. She dropped the communicator when she looked upon a slender, wither old woman in a white robe. The woman had lavender streaks in her mostly grey, straw-like hair, she had wrinkles around every corner of her face and her lips had grown thin, but her violet eyes had not changed.

"_M-Mother?!_" Raven exclaimed. She could not believe her eyes, what was _she_ doing here? Arella vowed never to return to Earth because she believed Azarath was the only safe place. Unless… "Arella," She said, pausing as she looked closer to the woman in front of her. "You're not really here. _You can't be_."

The woman stood motionless and continued to stare at her startled daughter. "Why do you fight so much?"

"What?"

"You were taught to have peace within yourself, child? And yet, I see you are much troubled by some recent events." Raven gave her a cold glare.

"There's a _reason_ why I haven't visit you in a while, _Arella_, I _don't_ need to listen to your nagging and constant…." She went to pass Arella and open the door, so that she could get out of the room, but as she brush up against Arella, Raven noticed her shoulders went right through her mother's skin. It felt colder in the room. "Mother…" She began when she had seen this as she looked up into her mother's eyes. "Mother…you _really_ _aren't_ here. Are you?" Arella didn't say anything at first, but just continued to stare.

"What do you think?" She asked.

"I'm just talking to myself. Nobody is really here. I am just imagining _you_."

"Of course you are just imagining me." And with that, Arella had vanished just as quickly as she had appeared and all that remain was the wall that Raven was facing and talking too now.

"Arella? _Arella?!_" Raven shouted, looking around the room. But all she could see were shadows that were caused by the dim light. "Is this some trick? Are you just projecting yourself from Azarath to scare me?! _Answer me!_"

There was only silence in the room. She stayed in the room for another few minutes before deciding that she was just very tired and was seeing things. Maybe her powers were playing tricks on her? As she matured to middle-age, maybe her powers matured to do such elaborate tricks as well. She picked up the communicator that she dropped, and dragged herself to lumpy bunk bed with little Austin by her side.

* * *

The next few days felt like a bad dream and she prefer not to pay much attention to what was happening around her concerning Starfire or Robin. She would get up, help Lydia get dress for school, care for Austin as much as she could, before she would help Cyborg, and some of their friends from out East, rebuild the Tower.

The days felt short when she was working and longer when she had to interact with Starfire for anything. By noon, she would take a break and hope that crime wasn't running the streets and take both Austin and Bruce out on a play date at the local park. She hated the park, especially since it was outdoors with the noisy public who were all pretending not to stare at her, but she knew toddlers love to run and Austin had to see the sun every once and a while—if just a little more sun block than normal. There wasn't much of argument when Raven said that she would take Bruce out on play dates with Austin. After all, Starfire had spent plenty of time with Lydia after school, and if Raven couldn't take Bruce with her, then she would have to forbid Starfire from seeing Lydia. It was a malicious thing to do, but everything was about to change, and Raven hated to make these changes.

"Aunty Rawin!" Bruce screamed out as he collapsed on the grass next to her, while she breast fed Austin with blanket to hide her open shirt. Bruce still had trouble pronouncing his 'v's and 'th's because of his lost teeth. "What's my future?!"

"You're what?"

"Future! Future! Lyd-ah said you are a witch and can tell me my future!"

"Well, not quite…."

"Future! Future! I want to know future!"

"Okay, okay, hush now." She said, looking below to see if Austin was still sucking. "Give me your hand." She couldn't really predict the future, but she had read up on some palm reading techniques, even though she didn't believe in them since the Monks kept on telling her as she had grown up that she would bring the destruction of the world. Foreseeing the future was not something she really wanted to do. "I see a young boy, who feels sad that he is not special like others. But for what he lacks in super powers, he will make up for it with his intelligence—I mean, smarts—his bravery, and his honesty." She said, trying to be as generic as possible.

She thought he wouldn't buy it or believed it was a lame palm reading, but his wide eyes looking up at her told her the opposite. "Really?" He asked, his voice, full of wonder.

"Really." _And who knows, maybe it will be true._

WORK, WORK, WORK, WORK, SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL, SCHOOL, GRAND THEFT AUTO 5, NOW BACK TO WORK, WORK, WORK.


	52. Bitter Lemonade

**UPDATE 4-16-14:**

**IF YOU READ THIS CHAPTER, NO NEED TO READ IT AGAIN, JUST LEAVING A QUICK NOTE. SO, AS YOU CAN TELL, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I EVEN PUT A CHAPTER UP AND I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE A PAGE DOWN SINCE JANUARY. THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS MIGHT BE SHORTER THEN USUAL IN ORDER TO CONTIUNE TO POST CHAPTERS AND CONTIUNE THE STORY WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT IT BEING TEN PAGES LONG. IT'S ALSO GETTING CLOSE TO THE ENDING, WHICH IS WHY IT IS TAKING A WHILE TOO. **

**I AM STILL ALIVE, DON'T WORRY, BUT LIFE LITERALLY GOT IN THE WAY. WORK AND SOME PERSONAL LIFE EVENTS HAPPENED WITHIN THE LAST FOUR MONTHS. SO, DON'T WORRY, I AM NOT ABANDONING THE STORY, NOT WHEN WE HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR, IT'S GOING TO END, IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME, BUT JUST LIKE GEORGE RR MARTIN (GAME OF THRONES AUTHOR) I NEED TIME TO TIE A FEW THINGS UP.**

I JUST WANTED TO SAY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 301 REVIEWS! WHOOHOO! EVEN IF THEY WERE WORDS OF CRITICISM, I STILL READ THEM AND TAKE THEM INTO ACCOUNT. EVEN THE SMALL REVIEWS THAT ARE LIKE 'AWESOME CHAP!' I STILL ADORE AS MUCH AS ONES THAT ARE PARAGRAPHS LONG! TO ME, I CAN'T TRUST STUFF LIKE 'VIEWS/HITS' BECAUSE SOMEONE MAY HAVE CLICKED ON IT, BUT IT DOESN'T GUARANTEE THAT THEY HAVE READ ANYTHING. ALTHOUGH I KNOW THEY ARE SOME PEOPLE THAT JUST DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE REVIEWS AND REMAIN ANNOYMOUS, I GET THAT, IT'S OKAY, I STILL JUST LIKE TO SEE A PHYSICAL NUMBER FOR REVIEWS.

* * *

"What about Star?" Garfield asked as he and Raven were both walking to their newly repaired room. She couldn't wait to get a good night's rest in her bed again and away from that cramped bunker.

"If she wants to be mad, let her be mad. She is not getting her way and so she is taking it out on us." She said calmly. Cyborg was babysitting that night when Rae could feel that familiar emotion stimulating her. But then Starfire came in, asked about something that Rae completely blew off because she was full of hormones, which resulted in another fight. At the moment, Raven didn't care, she was slave to her lust when came it out and couldn't help, but lash out at people when her emotions were strong within her. She was disappointed the last time she had a night alone with Garfield, because it ended too soon.

This time, she wanted to come out satisfy. They finally reach the room, which felt like an eternity to get there.

"Whoa." Garfield said after he opened the door and saw the changes.

The walls had been carved out to make a built-in book shelve, so that way they didn't have to bother with bookcases falling down all the time. It also had a sliding door and a lock on it. The dark grey-blue walls had been repainted to a brighter blue, but it was still dark in the room without proper lighting. There were more candles illuminating the room. The drawers that used to carry their clothes, now held Raven's magic books and spell props, and it was locked so Lydia couldn't get into it. Austin's newly constructed yellow crib was a few feet away from their huge bed which was now covered in dark forest green sheets instead of purple.

"What's this? A little more color in our room?" Garfield teased when he saw the bed and jumped on top of their new mattress. It didn't feel right, but it would take a few nights to get used to it.

"The pillows are still purple." She said before she looked around her new room. Her old statues and art pieces were still hanging around as well as her medieval-style locked chest where she kept her secrets hidden away; those were the only things that managed to be saved from the exploding windows.

"Are you sure Cyborg knows what he is doing?" Garfield asked, returning to the subject they had been arguing about all day.

"Yes. Cyborg is going to recruit new people, and soon we'll become mentors rather than the ones to go out and fight the crime." She said, turning to him.

"No, _you_ still have to go out there as well. I'm not letting you stay cooped up in here with your emotions going wild."

"What if I _like_ my emotions cooped up in here?" She asked, while flashy him a smile.

"That's Lust talking right now. I want to talk to Raven. I'm serious, what if Cyborg's plan goes horribly wrong, and we end up with some kind of munity on our hands? There are a lot of young kids with special gifts out there that just don't like to be given orders."

"We won't be their parents, just their mentors. We didn't have mentors when we started the Teen Titans, it was just us five teenagers living under one roof, all having to face young adolescence life and everyday problems without much supervision."

"Yeah, exactly! We had some form of freedom, besides responsibility and etc, but we still had freedom! What if the new Teen Titans just want that? No adult supervision? They'll complain that we didn't have it, so why should _they_ have it?"

"Then, I'll tell them the story of how I almost destroyed the world." She said, getting tired of this subject as she unhooked her cloak and threw it across the room.

"Why can't we just go back to the way things used to be?" He asked, looking down at the new sheets.

Raven walked over to where Garfield was sitting and used her black energy to remove her boots. She then pressed herself up against Garfield. At first, he was still pondering his own question and ignored her attempts, until she started kissing his neck. Her soft lips and mesmerizing scent made him forget about his troubles for a second and he gave into her demands. He wrapped his arms around her and lied back on the soft bed. With her black energy, she undid his pants and threw them across the room, while she continued to nibble on his ear.

"Rae, Rae, let me at least get up to get the—" But before he finished his words, a condom, engross with black energy, appeared in his hands. Raven sat back up, wiping her mouth from the extra saliva, and allowed him some room to fix himself.

As he was placing the rubber on him, Rae looked across the room and saw white candle flickering its flames. She took off her leotard as she continued to stare into its deadly flare. The candles around the room flared up a bit. Garfield noticed the candles intense flames and saw her staring at the candle.

"Raven?" He asked, and with that her concentration was broken. The candles around them died down and the room was a little darker. She looked deep into his green eyes. "We just remodeled; let's not burn the place down now. We still have to be careful."

"Why not? Fire is rebirth after all." She whispered. She then used her black energy rip his T-shirt apart so she could gaze upon his muscles.

She looked over to her green god-like man, took his hand, and slid over to him. They sat up on their knees, with Raven kissing his neck as he kissed her hair, then her cheek, then her nose. They ran their fingers into each other's hair for a long time, continuing to kiss each other in any place they could reach, until it felt like there was no salvia left in them. Garfield then gently slid his hand down between her legs to help stimulate her Lust a little more. He couldn't resist the wet gray cave. He transformed his tongue into a snake's, kneeled forward and gave her outer labia a few licks. She was taken by surprised and gasped from the sudden ticklish feeling which made her burst a pillow into a pile of feathers.

Their hearts were racing and already they were breathing heavily. Finally, he stopped, not wanting to excite her too soon. They looked up at each other, with him smiling and combing her hair back. As he petted her, she closed her eyes and started chanting as she very carefully and slowly slid inside him, wrapping her legs around him as he sat on his knees. He smiled and kissed her neck when he was pretty sure that nothing in their room was broken just yet, except for that inexpensive pillow.

It took a lot of patience and practice for Raven to be able to start out on top, as Garfield was usually the one to do it first so that she could concentrate on holding back her emotions. However, life could get really boring if they always stick to the same routine every time. So, it was important that they conquer their fears and try new things, so that Lust wouldn't be so dangerous and could be kept at bay. If that part of Raven felt unsatisfied, she would only grow more demanding of her primitive nature.

Raven held onto Garfield's shoulders tightly as they both started to move as one, steady and quiet at first as a river is during its low tide. She slid in and out of him slowly, barely holding onto him for support as she was finding her rhythm, occasionally just sitting there and breathing before making another thrust. Her eyes were closed, with her head usually pointed towards the ceiling, but she would feel for his hair, neck or shoulders to help guide her so she didn't fall. As time went on, she began to move a little faster, and he did his best to keep up by following her when she lifted away from him.

He had his arms wrapped around her lower back, to help keep her balance, but as she gain momentum, it was harder for him to keep a hold on her. It was a little uncomfortable to be on his knees, he had to admit, it was something different and maybe at this angle he could get a better ending then their usual missionary style. The only sounds that could be heard was Raven chanting her mantra and an unsettling wet sound, made by their chests smashing together. He would kiss her stomach or suck on a breast for just a second when she would lift up and sometimes he would get a nibble of her neck.

She moved her hands up from his shoulders to his neck when she started to really pick up speed. He was able to keep up with her, making sure anytime she thrust up, he would follow her up, but he would push her back down to him, making sure she wasn't going to end up flying away. Whenever she would move harder with each thrust, he would sink his fingernails into her back and kiss any body part he could as she moved.

In her mind, she kept pushing her emotions back, internally yelling at them to stay back as she tried to think of her center: a peaceful garden or sometimes the galaxy, with its beautiful stars and asteroids. The more she thought of her center, the more she kept on moving—picturing herself of having a cup of tea by an English garden—just as she pulled Garfield's hair and bit her lower lip. She tried to suppress her excitement just as she was on top of the world, full of pure ecstasy as she was getting close to her climax.

But she didn't want to; she didn't want this feeling and moment to end just yet. In her mind, everything was running just so smoothly, but for all she knew, they had destroyed the Tower again. If it did turn out that was true, she rather have destroyed the Tower this way, in Garfield's arms, rather than with her Rage.

Garfield noticed that she was beginning to get a little quiet, only gasping for air; he didn't know whether she was forgetting to say her chant or she was just not feeling good about this anymore. So, he gently pulled her down to bring her lips close to his and kissed her, making her stop her movements. Her head was higher than his was from her position, but he was able to wrapped his arms around her neck and with a few slow moves, slowly bring her down and lie on the bed.

He was now on top of her, with her head almost hanging off the edge of the bed, but he took this time to just kiss all the little sensual parts he was missing out on. Her soft hands, her arms, her neck, her ears, her forehead, her little charka, her eyes, her nose. She took the hint and slowed down a bit, usually only able to kiss his sweaty and tangled hair or his cheek when she felt his face near her. When he was busy kissing her neck, she would trace little circles on his back with her hands, to see if just a gentle touch could drive him wild and he moaned as if he was getting a deep tissue massage.

"Now…..Rae…please, remember…your chant…concentrate…" He tried to say in between breathing or kissing her.

This was the only way to calm _her_ inner beast without irritating her, which would result in Rage. He knew from past experience to just not stop all together when she forgot to chant, or to just tell her _during_, but to just get her to quiet down a bit without completely stopping and politely suggest that maybe she should think about chanting.

She smiled and began chanting again, this time loudly to appease him. She held onto his back as she rolled both their bodies over, so she would be back on top again, with his head now almost hanging off the bed. She rose up gradually while balancing her hands on his abs; with her legs intertwine with his own. She then started to move again, keeping her eyes closed and continuing to chant in a sultry voice. Sometimes she would moan instead of chant.

Garfield wasn't just lying down like a dead fish, he was moving along with her just as she would, and occasionally he would thrust harder which would get her all dehydrated and cause her to bite her lower lip. He had seen _Twilight_ one time and thought that Bella Swan had ruined lower-lip biting forever. However, he was incredibly wrong, as Raven had brought it back and made it sexy again somehow, and the thought of sexy lower-lip biting coming back just made him grab her hands and kiss the very palms of them.

Her hair was getting frizzy and his was also hot and tangled. They slowly, but surely, picked up a faster tempo, and this caused him to try something new. He got excited in the moment and turned both his arms into long octopuses' tentacles. They were an extra pair of sensory organs that allowed Garfield to touch Raven where he couldn't reach, to taste the sweat off of her skin, and to better smell the vanilla candles and her jasmine scented skin. He used his right tentacle to massage her back while the left one gently stroke her hair. She quivered at the cold touch of slimy arms at first.

"Shh…it's okay…Rae, it's only me." He was afraid this would turn her off completely and now stop chanting, which was bad. Or maybe, she would freak out too much and ask him to change his arms back before she continued on. Oh, why did he have to try something new in the heat of the moment without _asking_ her first? This was such a stupid plan; he knew this was a bad idea…

She nodded her head and continued to move with him.

He used his new found arms by rubbing it around her breast, both of them circling around her luscious pale bust. These arms allowed him to feel an extra sensation when he stroked her breast. The tentacles were sensitive and therefore savored every moment on her body. His suction cups played with her nipples, making them hard to the touch, before he made his way down to her belly button. His extended arms glided on her smooth, sweating skin, and traced down to her hip, where he took some time to massage her perfect voluminous rump that was constantly moving due to her exercise. Due to its constant movement and different positions it would make, he would first use his tentacles to gently grace her round, fat skin, and when she thrust closer to him, he would take that opportunity to get one tentacle between her crack and massage the empty space. She moaned from the cold touch of his foreign arms comforting her more sensitive parts.

She reached out with her left hand and grabbed hold one of the tentacles, letting the slimy organ guide through her fingers. The other continued to circle her perfect ass before intertwining with her thighs, all the way to her feet. Despite what he had read up on many websites, he didn't want to stick _anything_ in her mouth—even though he so much wanted too—because she had to keep on chanting, and sticking something into her mouth, whether she would agree before hand or not, would just be stupid for the whole Tower and their own lives. Sure, the tentacle thing was stupid before asking, but sticking it in her mouth? Now that was suicidal.

They both danced the dance of pleasure and rose up on the sheets as one before thrusting into each other on their way down on the bed. This little dance, which started out as a plain ole waltz, was quickly turning into a swinging rock 'n roll jitterbug, completed with abs smashing against each other and their feet curling up. Raven and Garfield could both feel that moment coming and so he tentacles decided to wrap around both her wrists for the final moment, causing to tease her as the tentacles restrain her from thrusting to hard of her own free will.

She continued to try and move one with him, even if the annoying tentacles only made her thrust as much as two inches. He used his muscles to sit up and allowed his tentacles to help him move her in and out of him. But she wasn't giving up her free will easily, she continued to try and move harder than the tentacles were allowing her and he forgot for a second how strong she really was even without her powers. As their momentum build up, they were both hanging their mouths open, with the occasion chant here and there. Pretty soon their dance became so fast that both their bodies were sweating profusely and their hair was swaying back and forth like they were jamming out at a rock metal concert.

"Azarath….MENTRION…..ZINTHOS!" She screamed in ecstasy, allowing her black energy field to be unleashed, but it only caused chaos around their room, since Cyborg had redecorated it to be more Raven-safe. Only a few of her art pieces had been scatter around the room, along with the sheets, pillows, pillow feathers, and their clothes.

Garfield moaned as well, although it wasn't as destructive as Raven's, and allowed his head to plop down on the mattress, waiting for his heart to settle down. He undid his tentacles, with Raven just lying down on her back from she was, and allowed his arms to dangle off the edge of the bed.

He wanted to ask her so many questions, like did she like what he did? Was it okay to try something new without asking her? Did she actually have an orgasm or was she just faking it for his sake? That was something that always concerned him. He knew she wasn't happy last time because they were interrupted and although she tried to hide that information, she wasn't as such a closed book as she once was. However, he decided to nix that last question when he heard her humming 'I Want to Hold Your Hand'. She lied on the other side of the bed for a while before she had the energy to sit up and crawl over to where he was lying. She rested her head on his chest as he admired her sweaty lavender locks. They were both breathing very hard and all they did was just laid there in each other's arms for a while as he listened to her hum.

After a good length of time went by, she stopped humming and looked up to him. "So, what are you worried about? We can keep a bunch of teenagers in line for the new team." She said softly.

"You know it's not fair to continue arguing after sex, because I would just agree to anything you say then."

She smiled. "I know." He smiled back. He grabbed a lock of her hair and sniffed it before giving it a small kiss.

"What did Robin tell you?" Her smile disappeared and she looked down at his abs.

"Let's not talked about that now." She said and he didn't want to actually talk about Robin right now, but he knew there was something that Robin had said that upset her during their time in the bunker and for days he had been trying to talk to her about it. Now seemed like a good time as any, but then again, he hated arguing after sex.

"When is Star leaving?" He asked.

"I don't know. She hasn't exactly given us a date. Could be tomorrow, could be in two weeks."

"I think she is afraid to leave."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she is the last person to see the end of our friendships, but she knows her leaving would _cause_ it." He said.

"Can we not talk about _this_ either?" She asked, frustrated. She was getting a little annoyed that both of Robin and Star were harping on her sex life and they weren't even trying. He saw the expression on her face and smiled.

"You're right. This isn't the time." He said, before kissing the top of her head. "So, did you like the tentacle thing I did?"

She looked up to him, narrowed her eyes, and allowed a small smile to show. "But next time, _I'll_ be the one to give you the surprises." She promised.

* * *

"Bruce, you can't do that! That's mine!" Lydia shouted at her playmate. Bruce and Lydia were set up in the living room, playing a little game with their toy animals when Bruce had become mesmerized by one of Lydia's elephants and had grabbed it out of her hand.

"Mine!" He shouted back, holding on tightly to the elephant. He had recently got a haircut, so his black stringy hair wouldn't covered up his brown eyes, although if Starfire could have her way, she would allow his hair to grow all the way to his shoulders. However, Robin—and pretty much everybody else—agreed that maybe long hair was better left reserved for his later years, when he could walk properly without tripping.

Lydia wanted the elephant back, but she knew grabbing it would only resort to him screaming and crying, as she was well aware from previous attempts from past arguments. Whenever they would fight, she was _always_ the one who got into trouble, because she was the oldest and therefore had to be the more _mature_ one out of the two of them. That was a lot of pressure to put on a six-year old going on seven. Bruce was fun to play with when he was a baby and didn't talk back or grab things out of her hand, but lately, he would only be happy if he had something of hers, something new to entertain him and she was getting tired of being the _mature_ one.

She stared at the elephant, thinking to herself how much she wanted that elephant back. He began to bang the elephant on the floor and laughing as if he somehow knew he was victorious, even though he laughed at almost anything he found amusing. Her nostrils flared and she kept repeating in her head the word elephant, over and over again. As Bruce continued to abuse the plastic toy, it slowly became surrounded by a cool black energy. Bruce felt it and stopped hitting the toy against the floor, staring at it carefully, intrigued by this sudden temperature change. Before he knew it, the toy gently slipped out of his hands and soared across their play area. Bruce was too amazed by this to grab the toy back, thinking that the toy was going to come back to him at any minute, but it continued to fly away from him, landing softly in Lydia's outreached hands.

Lydia gasped and began panting, as she looked down at her now abused elephant, amazed that it was in her hands by her own energy. She smiled and hugged the elephant, so happy that she completed her first successful telekinetic trick without it ending in total chaos.

That is until Bruce began to cry.

"Shh! Don't! They hear you!" She tried to reason with him as she looked over to where the baby monitor was placed. It sat right above them, so Lydia wouldn't be able to turn it off. Starfire was taking a nap after a long day with Bruce and Garfield was doing some desk work in a different room nearby, so sometimes the kids were alone for five or so minutes. But they had set up a baby monitor just in case.

Now it didn't matter what had happened, she was going to get in trouble regardless because again, she was supposed to be the _mature_ one who didn't fight with her younger relatives.

Lydia handed him the elephant back, hoping that would calm him down, but by this point he didn't care about the toy, he was just crying for some comfort and Lydia knew she had already lost the battle. As she continued to try and calm him down before the unavoidable confrontation with the adults, she noticed a glare out of the corner of her eye. Looking to her left, she saw one of her Barbies outfit had caught on fire and it was starting to spread to its plastic hair.

Lydia screamed, and in a panicked, tried to pick up Bruce, only he was so heavy for her, so she just dragged him a few feet away from the Barbie, not knowing what else to do. Pretty soon, the whole room would smell like burnt plastic. She stared at the water tab in the kitchen, hoping that she could control the tab to extinguish the fire, but the tab was so far away, and she couldn't fully concentrate on it because she was panicking. She began to cry.

Finally, for what seemed like an eternity in hell, Starfire and Garfield both ran into the room. Starfire screeched when she saw the fire and quickly flew over to where the children were, picking them both up, before flying into the kitchen, safety away from the fire. Garfield found the small extinguisher in the kitchen and quickly put out the Barbie doll, as well as part of the carpet they had been sitting on.

After a few minutes went by, and Lydia had a chance to settle down with her Dad while Starfire cradled a crying Bruce in her arms, Lydia was then told to sit down and explain what had happened.

"Okay, what happened?" Garfield asked calmly, lowering his voice to almost a whisper.

"I-I-I don't know." She stuttered, looking down at the ground.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble—"

"She had made a fire—!"

"—Star, please." Garfield interrupted before trying to make eye contact with a reluctant Lydia. "All I heard on the monitor was some fighting, and then a long pause before Bruce started crying. And then a shout about a fire."

"I-I-I don't know what happened…"

"Yes, you do. I know you do. Now I am not accusing you of anything, I just want to know what happened. There's no shame in making a mistake, we just learn from them."

Lydia paused and took a breath before looking up and seeing Starfire's furious bright green eyes staring at her. Lydia then looked over to her Dad, and his dark green eyes seem much more calming. She looked down and saw that she was still holding her elephant—how and when she had gotten it back, she couldn't remember—but there it was, her simple, gray elephant.

"Bruce took a-away my elephant. So, I wanted it back. B-b-but I know he would cry if I took it-it away from him. So I used my powers to get it back." She said. "I-I-I didn't hurt him or anything, he just started crying when he saw th-that he didn't have it anymore. A-and then I saw the fire. I don't know _how_ that happened. I-I-I was so careful, Daddy."

She was about to cry again, but Garfield hugged her and held her in his arms, swaying back and forth. "Shh. It's okay. We all make mistakes. No one was hurt."

"Beast Boy, I do not want her to practice her powers unsupervised!" Starfire expressed.

"Not right now, Star, she already feels bad enough."

"When I was small _bumgorf, _I was not allowed to use what little powers I had until I was told I could!"

"Star, you're beginning to sound like Robin." And with that, she simply huffed and walked out of the room from the scene.

"W-why is Aunty Starry being mean?" Lydia asked. Dammit, he didn't want her to notice the change in Star's attitude towards his family. He broke the embrace, looked at her in the eye, and combed her dark violet hair behind her ear.

"She's just stress out right now. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah, b-but, I don't know where that fire came from."

"You just overwhelmed yourself when you got that elephant and maybe that extra energy was placed on your Barbie by accident."

"B-but, the fire didn't start until Bruce cried! And that was after I was done lev-levi-ta-tut—moving it with my mind!"

"So, what you're saying is that the fire didn't start right away."

"Yes!"

"Were you happy when you got your elephant back?"

"Yeah! Because I made it move all the way to me without dropping it! I controlled it the entire time!" She exclaimed.

"It just must have been the excitement or your fear that you would get in trouble when you started the fire." Lydia's eyes started to tear up again. "It's okay, Mommy did that too when she was young. Sometimes still does."

"But, I-I wasn't even thinking about fire, usually I could feel myself making a mess, but this time, I didn't—"

"—I think Mommy would better explain how your powers work then I can." He said. She frowned. "How, what's with the long face? You did it!"

"Yeah, but I messed up."

"Did the elephant drop while it floated?"

"No." She said softly.

"Did you control it to where it landed?"

"Yes."

"Then you did it! You just expressed an extra emotion—that's all! You still did it! It's okay, now we know what to expect next time. And pretty soon, you can control those extra feelings—"

"—But—"

"—Hey, this little victory sounds like a trip to an ice cream shop possibly?" He asked rhetorically to himself, but he was about to blow it off when she looked at him with that glimmer in her eye and her tears quickly dried up.

"Ice cream?"

"Well, if you want to sit here and feel sorry for yourself, we can do that too—"

"—No, no, no, no, no, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!" She squealed, before he picked her up. Before they were about to reach the door, Starfire walked in, without Bruce.

"Beast Boy, may I have a word with you?" She asked, glaring in his eyes as she stood next to the door.

"Sure, uh, Lydia, go on ahead and put your shoes on, I'll meet you in your room." He said, putting her down. At first Lydia gave a quizzical look to her aunt before she looked back at her Dad and then quickly ran out the door.

Starfire glance over at Lydia running down the hallway, before Star closed the door, looking back at Garfield. "Beast Boy….we have been friends for many years."

Garfield raised his eyebrows. "Yes, for more than a decade I believe." Starfire paused for bit, before she decided to speak, but Garfield interrupted her before she had a chance. "It was an accident."

"I know and I do not blame her for making these accidents—I made a few mistakes when I first learned target practicing." She said.

"But…?" Garfield questioned.

She lowered her head. "I think it is too dangerous."

"Meaning?"

"I do not want Bruce to get hurt." She said.

"So, what are you saying?" He asked, crossing his arms and getting frustrated. "My daughter is not good enough for your precious Bruce?"

"Beast Boy! That is not what I said!"

"But that's what you are trying to say, isn't it?!"

"Well…no. It is just that…."

"Just what?"

"Just that the past few play dates they have had, have not ended well."

"So she started a fire, we were closed by and I put it out! Star, the thing is, is that she had successfully levitated an item! Her first successful run!" He exclaimed. "And I believe she was just so overwhelmed with extra emotions that she just happened….to cause a fire. _Now_ I am not saying I am rewarding her for that—Raven will make her do extra meditation sessions because of it—but this is on par with her taking her first step without falling! Her first sentence without mispronouncing a word! She's learning how to control her powers without causing destruction!"

"But she _did_ cause destruction! And she endangered my child!" She shouted with her eyes glowing a vicious green hue.

"But that was after, after she was done with everything, not during—"

"—It seems that I am not making myself clear." Starfire interrupted. "While I applaud Lydia in her life achievements, I will not let her endanger my child again!"

"So, I'll watch them from now on. Or you can watch them if you feel better." He said, lowering his voice as he was getting tired of arguing. "Or he can take a nap with you when you take a nap and Lydia can wait in the living room—"

"—No. No. That is not what I am saying."

"Then what are you saying?" All of sudden, her eyes stopped glowing and she looked like a lost soul. "You don't want Lydia to play with Bruce alone, correct?"

She nodded.

"You don't want Lydia to play with Bruce when I am here, correct?"

She nodded. He started to get angry.

"You don't want Lydia to play with Bruce….period?"

She looked up to him and reluctantly nodded.

Garfield was so furious, but he was tired of all the fighting. Whatever, Starfire and Bruce would both be gone in a few weeks or so, if she could ever get around to packing and finding Robin's position. He didn't even know why she had stayed so long after she announced she was leaving. At that moment, he didn't care about anything, but giving his little girl a triple scooped ice cream cone with extra sprinkles. He scoffed at Starfire as he walked past her.

"Beast Boy—!" She shouted in a panicked, but he was already out the door.

She stared down to where the burnt Barbie laid.


End file.
